InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Year of the Dog ❯ One-Shot

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

A/N:

This story is slightly off-canon in that Kagome is seventeen instead of fifteen. For once the extended timeline was actually necessary, and not done simply in a fandom attempt of making Kagome older for the sake of propriety. This story references an experience learned with regard to the lunar cycle, which in this particular universe is not in sync between the timelines, and for the number of months required for the various experiences held within the story, keeping it within a canon time frame would’ve been next to impossible. That said, this story doesn’t take place during any specific time in the mission. It was originally written prior to the completion of the manga, so later events, such as Kikyou’s final passing, have not yet taken place within this story’s universe. Though nothing much of their mission is actually mentioned one way or another. You can imagine that Kikyou is dead if you want to, since her still being alive isn’t directly mentioned. Enjoy!



Kagome was well aware that the lunar cycle fluctuated between her time and Inuyasha’s. What was the start of the lunar month in his< time was not going to be the new moon in hers, and vise versa. She knew that from noticing the change in the night sky almost immediately as she began venturing back and forth between her century and his. As for Inuyasha, he had discovered this for himself the hard way when he had come through the well one night with the mindset to bug her about returning the following morning, only to be shocked senseless when he suddenly transformed into a human upon emerging in the well. He’d swiftly climbed out of the well only to jump back in again, breathing a sigh of relief when, upon materializing on his side of time, his youkai blood had promptly returned.

A brief conversation with Kagome the following day had led to the current arrangement the group now had. Whenever possible, if they were not too far away, they would return to the village every new moon, and Inuyasha would spend the night in Kagome’s time. Kagome hadn’t minded, at first, considering the arrangement to be a win/win situation. She’d get to go home on a more regular basis, even if only for one night, and he’d get to escape what he called the ‘curse’ of his mortal half. He hated turning human, and was absolutely ecstatic that he’d found a way to avoid it. Of course, his plan didn’t work all the time. Sometimes they were simply too far away from the well, and on those nights, he begrudgingly dealt with it the best he could.

Kagome had begun to wonder if it was healthy for Inuyasha to throw his natural cycle out of whack like that, turning human only every three or four months or so, but for nearly a year, that was the way things were. It was sometimes hard to fathom that that arrangement had been going on for so long, but as she thought about it, she realized that she had been coming to the Feudal era now for nearly three years. Her eighteenth birthday would be this coming spring, and she could finally stop worrying about school. Her grades were so horrible that she was amazed she’d passed the high school entry exams in the first place, and she was fairly certain that she would not be graduating with her class. She had already promised Inuyasha that as soon as she was legally an adult in her time, and her mother would no longer be responsible, or face getting in trouble as a result, she would temporarily drop out of school, and focus her efforts full-time on completing the jewel and defeating Naraku. She could simply no longer keep up with doing both and expect to get anything productive done on either side. Her mother hadn’t been too happy with her decision, at first, but the elder Higurashi woman had eventually conceded that she understood her daughter’s logic. Kagome had promised that she would go back to school and graduate when she was finally able to put her focus 100% on her studies. She knew it would be hard, and embarrassing, but for her mission in the Feudal era…and for Inuyasha…it was worth it.

As for the hanyou, he had been shocked at her statement of ‘when she became an adult’, never having realized that her world still considered her a child in some ways. In his time, you were simply an adult when your body decided you became one, and from that point of view, Kagome had already been an adult when she’d first traveled into his world on her fifteenth birthday. Kagome conceded that she understood his confusion, and attempted to explain the concept of her world’s new ‘modern’ laws regarding such things, and how they set different things at different ages. She was old enough to make some decisions on her own. She was past the age of consent, for example - not that she told him that one directly, she wouldn’t have stopped blushing for days! But when it came to something like dropping out of school, that still fell into her mother’s jurisdiction until the magic age of eighteen. He had shrugged off her explanations after a while, stating that he didn’t understand, nor did he care to. Mumbling under his breath, the hanyou had stated that he thought they - meaning the lawmakers of her century - were stupid, and that he didn’t think of her as a child in any way, shape or form. Kagome wondered if he even realized how strongly he’d complemented her with that statement.

Her concerns about it being unhealthy for him to avoid his monthly cycle - she chuckled quietly at the thought - were proven valid when, during one new moon they simply could not avoid, he was much moodier than usual, even for his human form. Granted, it’d been a while since they’d seen his human form, and Kagome remembered quite well that he was usually more touchy and grouchy during that time, anyway, but this time, something just didn’t seem…right. His usual reaction was to keep to himself as much as possible, snapping the head off of anyone who dared attempt to peer into his soul, but…if you ignored the fact that he was human, and weak, and defenseless, and engaged in normal conversation about…whatever…then he would be civil enough to remain a part of the group, usually. Not this time. This time, the hanyou was PMSing way more than usual.

She’d only said his name…only “Inuyasha…?” and she was going to ask him if he was hungry yet, and she’d start the ramen. She never got out that next part. His quick bark of “I’m fine!” as he stomped away was enough to turn the heads of everyone else who hadn’t really been paying much attention up until that point. Kagome chuckled nervously at their stares, and for a while, she sat in silence, preparing the ramen anyway. Everyone had the same expression of disbelief mixed with mild amusement and genuine concern.

“This has gone on long enough…” she finally uttered to herself, so quietly that she was sure only Shippou had heard her, though the kit made no effort to respond to her thoughts as he greedily slurped his food.

Picking up Inuyasha’s so far untouched cup of ramen, the miko followed the small path of destruction he’d left in his wake, until she spotted him in a small clearing, sitting against a large rock. Her heart stopped beating at the sight of him.

He wasn’t sitting in his classic ‘I’m mad as hell and you better not bother me if you value your life’ pose. She had been expecting him to be sitting cross-legged, arms tucked into his sleeves, Tetsusaiga propped against his shoulder, a scowl on his face to end all scowls. Instead, what she found was more like an ‘I’m all alone in the universe and nobody loves me’ pose. She recognized it for what it was, having adopted the same posture herself, in the past, whenever she’d gotten upset over Kikyou, or something hurtful he’d said. But she never in a million years would have thought she’d ever find him sitting this way. He was sitting on his butt, feet planted firmly on the ground mere inches in front, with his legs drawn up into him, his arms wrapped desperately around his knees, with his head resting on his arms in such a way that his face was completely buried. Tetsusaiga, which he always complained was useless while in his human form, was lying discarded by his side, the scabbard covered in dirt from how he’d apparently thrown the sword down in his agitation. He looked utterly hopeless.

The last thing Kagome wanted to do was sneak up on him, offering a vivid reminder of just how weak his senses truly were at the moment, so she deliberately trekked a little louder than usual as she approached, aiming for as many dry leaves as she could find along the way.

“Inuyasha?” she voiced softly, her uncertainty clear.

“Leave me alone…” was his muffled response, not even bothering to lift his head and look at her.

“MmMm” she grunted in the negative, “Not until you tell me what’s wrong.” she said.

He remained silent, even when she closed the gap between them, sitting herself down right beside him, their bodies not two inches apart. She bravely convinced herself that she could get away with the closeness, considering that it was a fairly chilly winter’s night, as she told herself that he wouldn’t push her away if he thought she was cold.

“Inuyasha…” she sighed after a moment, truly at a loss for what to say.

“Nothing’s wrong…” she heard him mutter after a moment, the dejection in his voice surprising her. “I’ll be fine in the morning.” he added, lifting his head to timidly meet her eyes, attempting to reassure her that he was truly okay.

What she saw in his human orbs of chocolate melted her heart. She saw vulnerability, confusion, aggravation, desperation, and humility. Instantly, she knew she understood.

“Having gone so long without turning mortal, your human emotions are even stronger than usual now, aren’t they?” she asked him quietly, gently placing a hand upon his back and feeling relieved when he didn’t flinch at the contact. He was accepting her support.

“I’ll be back to normal when I get my youki back.” he answered, more or less confirming her suspicions.

While that was true, while his hanyou form did indeed seem to remain unaffected by his lack of monthly transformations, seeing him like how he was then, in that moment, gave Kagome seriously reason to begin questioning whether or not it was really worth the exchange.

“Is it worth it?” she asked him suddenly, bringing voice to those very concerns. “If staying hanyou merely bottles up everything human that you’re keeping inside until it finally all comes out in one big flood, is it really worth it?”

He chuckled darkly, and answered with, “You bet.”

“Inuyasha-”

“Look,” he interrupted, “I’m fine, okay?”

“No…” she answered softly, “You’re not fine, and it’s not okay.”

“Kagome…” he sighed, finally noticing that she’d been holding a steaming cup of ramen since she got there. Blast his lousy sense of smell.

She chuckled quietly when his eyes turned a little more happy at the sight of the noodles, and promptly handed him the styrofoam cup.

“We need to get you back to normal.” she stated cautiously while he was eating.

“I fffaid…” he slurred through a mouthful of noodles, “…that I’ll be back to normal in the morning.”

Shaking her head, Kagome countered with, “That’s not what I meant.” Then taking the empty cup from his hands with her free one, she suppressed her nervousness as she gently took his hand in hers. Their eyes met, and she could have sworn she saw him gulp.

“You need to start allowing yourself to turn human again more often.” she told him point blank.

He didn’t interrupt her, unless you counted the nasty glare he adopted at her words, so after a breif moment of silence she continued.

“If you don’t like being human here, because this time is so dangerous, and you can’t protect us…” she elaborated, knowing that that was one of his main concerns, “Why don’t you come with me to my time during the new moon over there, instead?” she asked. “My world is safe. You wouldn’t have to worry about a youkai attack, and we could even go out and do something in public without you having to worry about anyone seeing you.” That last part hadn’t even occurred to her until she said it aloud in just that moment. I could go out with Inuyasha in my time… she thought, realizing the potential.

“Feh…” he spat, his voice holding only half the hostility of normal. “You’re only trying to get more time in your world.” he argued, the lightness of his voice suggesting that he was perhaps already caving to the idea.

“But you’d be with me…” she reminded, also in a light tone, dangling the idea in the air as though trying to tempt him, like it was a promise of ice cream.

“Like I want to spend more time with you.” he snapped while pulling his hand away, attempting to cover how much the idea actually appealed to him.

Instant hurt crashed into her heart like she’d run right into a brick wall.

“I…I was only trying to…”

“Feh, I don’t need your help!” he snapped, unable to smell the tears forming in her eyes due to his weakened senses.

He did, however, notice the sudden chill when she pulled her other hand away, only then realizing that it had in fact been resting on his back the entire time.

“Ka…” he started, but she was already on her feet and running away.

Damn it…

`````````````````````````````````````

The following morning, Kagome did her best to act as though everything was perfectly normal, just as Inuyasha himself always did after his transformations. She recalled the first time she’d seen his human transformation, and how he’d been so sweet, and so gentle, only to be his cold gruff self again in the morning, acting as though nothing unusual had happened at all. If he could do it, then so could she, she convinced herself then, for once actually sympathizing with her hanyou friend’s weakness, as she found herself cursing her own human emotions.

Inuyasha, for his part, had awoken to the bitter sting of her tears, the scent of which still lingered in the clearing where he’d spent the night, and instantly, he realized just how badly he’d fucked up. He hadn’t meant to hurt her, he just didn’t want her to pity him. But was she really pitying him? Something hadn’t been right with himself last night, and he knew it. It was like every emotion he’d ever attempted to suppress in his entire life had all decided to pick that moment to come out and play. Was that really the result of avoiding his human nights for so long? He hated being human, and part of it was because of his human emotions, but…if one single night of weakness was going to kick his ass so thoroughly, then maybe it actuall would be better to go back to the way things had been before. At least then he could handle it, most of the time, and at the very least, he was capable of keeping up the façade that everything was all right, even if it wasn’t. He’d been a complete wreck last night, his emotions all going haywire, and he hadn’t been able to hide it from anyone, not even the one person whom he’d wanted to hide it from the most.

Biding his time, he waited until he and the miko had a moment alone to talk. A small village on the horizon proved to be the perfect opportunity. Whenever they approached a new village with questions regarding Naraku, he usually waited behind, so as not to startle the villagers, while Kagome usually stayed behind with him, to keep him company. Miroku and Sango were currently somewhere within the walls of the village they’d just approached, Shippou and a kitten-sized Kirara tagging along, as they never seemed to be perceived by anyone as much of a threat. Hopefully, this village would have information regarding the dark hanyou they sought, but if not, the time spent here would still not be wasted.

Kagome had nearly gone with everyone else, much to his dismay, until he’d spoken up that while they waited for the others he wanted more ramen, adding ‘wench’ for good measure. Had to make everything seem normal until the others were gone.

“Kagome…” he voiced softly, surprising her as he crouched down beside her, stilling her hand with his own as she’d reached into her bag for said ramen.

“Yes?” she replied, attempting to keep her voice steady and neutral.

I’m sorry… he thought, unable to say the words out loud even when he knew she deserved to hear them. “About last night…” he started, bound and determined to at least try to apologize.

She rose her eyes to meet his own at his words, and he thanked the kami when he saw her gaze soften, apparently able to read the sincerity behind his unspoken apology.

“It’s all right…” she whispered softly, adding, “I understand.”

To assure him that she really did understand, she emphasized her words by reaching for the clawed hand that still gently gripped her wrist, and with her free hand, she patted his softly.

He surprised her again when he suddenly pulled her into a tight embrace, and wordlessly, she let him hold her for what seemed like forever, before he finally mumbled in her ear, “When’s the next new moon in your time?”

`````````````````````````````

It took them about a week to return to Kaede’s village, after the village Miroku and Sango had questioned turned up no new information. It was fairly easy for Inuyasha to persuade everyone to head back to Kaede’s, considering Kagome already hadn’t been home in over a month, and they were running low on supplies. After having checked her calendar upon returning to her time, she happily discovered that the next new moon was in fact only two nights away. But that wasn’t all she discovered…

Not only was the next new moon the beginning of the lunar month (duh), but this particular new moon also marked the beginning of the next lunar year. That time already? How could she have forgotten? Then again, she honestly didn’t remember what the date was half the time, having gotten used to more or less basically ignoring the dating system while running around in the past. Not that the lunar calendar would have changed, but the more modern calendar, which included things like ‘days’…(Monday, Tuesday, etc.) did not exist in his time. At least, not that she knew of. She was sure it existed somewhere else in the world, but not among the youkai of Feudal Japan. She seriously doubted any youkai would bother following a human’s calendar, anyway, and she honestly didn’t even know what zodiac year it was in his time, either.

Oh well, at least did still remember what year it was in her time - it was the year of the rooster. Waaaiiiiiitttt a minute… If it was the year of the rooster now…and the new year started in three days, then that meant that in three days it’d be…the year of the dog! Oh! She couldn’t wait to tell him!

Inuyasha had already agreed that he would attempt to get his body back on track, exposing himself to the new moons in her time to try and undo the damage he had inadvertently caused. But he had also said that he did not want to ‘do anything’ in her time. At least not yet, while he was still so imbalanced. She would have to see if she could get him to change his mind. Surely he would just love the celebrations that would be going on, honoring the new year, as well as his very species…

Then again… she thought. He was usually a little on the touchy side whenever being compared to a dog, come to think of it. So perhaps ‘mum’s the word’ would be a better course of action, just in case. She sighed…oh well, it would have been fun.

Upon returning through the well with the promised supplies, Kagome stated that she needed to return to her time for two more days, under the pretense that while stocking up on groceries, she’d discovered that she had a test coming up that she’d better study for. The fact that she’d actually already missed her latest test was a little upsetting, but merely reinforced her future decisions regarding her schooling. Everyone was a little surprised when Inuyasha didn’t offer any resistance, considering they now had plenty of ramen to last them for the next three weeks. Grumbling, he said something along the lines of how they’d been running all over Japan looking for signs of Naraku, and couldn’t find any, so they might as well rest for a while before heading back out again. Miroku commented with something along the lines of how considerate it was of him to take the needs of his human companions into consideration, though if his sarcastic undertones were any indication, the monk had sensed that something else was really going on. He probably just thought that Kagome had bullied him into it when nobody was looking, which was fine with Inuyasha. He would let the others think whatever they wanted.

Escorting Kagome to the well, he flashed her a quick look once they were out of sight, silently demanding she tell him the real reason she needed to return, knowing her schooling wasn’t it. Understanding his meaning, she quietly confirmed for him that the night of the new moon was in fact only two nights away, and he nodded. He said he’d come to her time that evening then, making a fuss like he was going to get her. She didn’t know why he wanted to keep what they were doing a secret, but she figured it was embarrassing for him more than anything else. Miroku always ripped on him whenever he got the chance, and she was sure he didn’t want the monk knowing how he’d screwed his emotions all up and was now trying to fix them. That was fine with her, though she didn’t like lying. But that bit about her test was just a little lie, and if it made Inuyasha feel better…well, then she was happy to help. She was happy he was letting her help. And the fact that he wanted to keep it a secret between just the two of them, well, that really touched her. He trusted her.

```````````````````````````

Two days later, Inuyasha began his display. Where was she, the wench was late. She said two days damn it, and so forth. By that evening, he was ‘bound and determined’ to go get her, while Shippou played right into his hands, calling him a meanie and insisting that if he didn’t let Kagome have some time with her family from time to time that she’d get upset with him and then she’d never come back! At the kitsune’s tears, Miroku suggested that, considering it had gotten so late, that perhaps he should just wait until the following morning to retrieve her. He scoffed, inwardly smirking to himself, claiming that if the stupid wench wouldn’t come back tonight, then he’d make sure she was coming back right at the crack of dawn! With that, he dropped into the well, knowing that when he didn’t return that night, miko in tow, that everyone would most likely assume he’d likely gotten sat for his troubles, and had spent the night brooding in her version of the Goshinboku.

Emerging in Kagome’s side of time, he spied the setting sun, and knew he wanted to get himself indoors right away. He could instantly feel the change in him, as he usually started to lose his senses gradually throughout the day before the new moon. Coming to her time now was like suddenly having two set of hands clamped down over his ears and nose. Bounding over toward the house, then up onto the roof right outside her bedroom window, he peaked inside to see that the room was empty. Testing the window itself, he found it to be unlocked, and knowing that Kagome was expecting him, he took it upon himself to enter her room.

With his senses suddenly so dulled, he found it difficult to tell how fresh her scent was, but relief took him when he realized that she was home, upon his still stronger-than-average hearing picking up the sound of her voice coming from downstairs.

“…so I don’t think we’d be going.” he thought he heard her say, obviously missing the first part of the conversation. Going where? Damn right they weren’t going! He didn’t want to go anywhere.

“But it’ll be so much fun!” he heard Mrs. Higurashi exclaim, and he cringed, not wishing to displease Kagome’s mother, but still not wanting to go out in public, either.

“Inu-onii-chan has to go!” Souta piped up next, and Inuyasha seriously started to wonder just what on Earth was so damn important that they wanted him to go with them.

“Souta…” he heard Kagome scold next, “I said Inuyasha might be coming tonight, since I’m supposed to go back in the morning. That doesn’t mean that he will, and even if he does, you know he hates going out in public here. He’d have to disguise what he is. Do you want him to feel uncomfortable? And considering how he’s always been treated, how do you think the celebrations would really make him feel?”

While he still had them, his canine ears lowered upon his head. Kagome was lying for him again, this time to her own family. Apparently, they knew nothing of the new moon. He’d never specifically asked her to keep it from them, but the fact that she hadn’t told his secret, even to her own family, really meant a lot to him. He had no idea what celebration they were talking about, but apparently some sort of festival was going on that night. Kagome was right, he had no interest in attending such a thing, though it did make him feel warm inside, knowing that her family wanted him to come along, as if he were truly a part of their family.

Catching a few more soft mumbles of something that he couldn’t quite understand with his dwindling hearing, his ears did pick up on the sound of the front door closing, as everyone else apparently left for…whatever it was. Good, he was glad he’d be alone with Kagome for most of the night. He hadn’t been looking forward to having to keep his overly active emotions in check around her family, even though he was pretty sure she’d planned on keeping him hidden within her room. But he’d been mildly afraid of snapping at her little brother, especially if he started asking questions about his transformation, and so breathing a sigh of relief, he was glad to have fortunately been spared that concern.

Hearing footsteps approach, he strained his nose as far as it would go, barely catching the faintest trace of Kagome’s scent moments before she appeared in the open doorway.

“Oh good, you’re here.” she smiled softly, walking past him to shut the window he’d left open behind him. It was a little chilly out, after all.

“Where did everyone else go?” he asked her carefully, not sure if he wanted to reveal how much of the conversation he’d actually heard.

“Oh, ummm…” she fidgeted, before deciding she couldn’t lie, not to him. “It’s the lunar new year tonight, so almost everyone is going to be at a celebration of sorts.” she attempted to brush off as though it was nothing important.

She failed.

“I’m sorry…” he mumbled, his ears lowering once more, and she gasped in surprise at the words she just heard him utter.

“Why?” was all she could think to ask, truly confused. Missing the New Year’s celebration wasn’t really that important.

“Here your family goes off to celebrate the new year with the rest of the village, and you’re stuck at home baby-sitting a weak hanyou.” he grumbled, his emotions clearly already running away with him, as the last traces of the sun swiftly descended from sight. “You can go ahead and go if you want to. I’ll be fine by myself.” he added, just as the transformation took him.

Kagome waited until his transformation was complete before replying, always transfixed to see such a thing. It seemed so magical to her, but she would be able appreciate the wonders of it a whole lot more if she didn’t know how badly he hated it.

“Nonsense…” she answered softly.

When the now human Inuyasha took a seat on the edge of her bed, discarding Tetsusaiga, she took it upon herself to join him, once again sitting beside him not two inches away.

“Do you want to talk about it?” she asked hopefully, once again resting her hand upon his back.

“Feh”

“Okay…” she started, slowly rubbing her hand around in what she hoped was a soothing motion, not wishing to make him feel uncomfortable. “Do you want to talk about something else? Anything that would take your mind off of certain things?”

“What year is it?” he suddenly asked, barely a whisper.

“What?!” she gasped in surprise, as she snapped her hand away from his back as though she’d been burnt. She hadn’t been expecting that.

He didn’t need his senses to know how badly his seemingly innocent question had startled her, and it quickly had him wondering what the hell her problem was. There was one possible answer, but…

“You know…” he elaborated, biting his cheek to keep from lashing out at her. “What animal?”

“I…” she started lamely, feeling guilty, “I didn’t know you knew about-”

“Why wouldn’t I?!” he snapped suddenly, interrupting her. “My mother was a human, or did you forget?” He launched himself to his feet, his rage and self-loathing running away with him. “Oh I get it. The stupid hanyou couldn’t possibly be smart enough to follow a fucking calendar! Oh hell no! I’m just some dumb animal that wanders the woods and-”

“SIT!” she shouted, bolting to her feet as well.

She’d never subdued him in his human form before, but it had just happened on impulse. In the past she’d honestly wondered whether or not the rosary would even work during his human night. It did, and she cringed, realizing how badly it must have hurt for his human face to get planted on her floor like that. It shut him up though, which had been the only thing she’d been thinking about at the time. She just couldn’t stand hearing all that rubbish any longer.

“Are you okay?” she asked quietly, kneeling by his head when he failed to curse at her, or say anything for that matter.

Gently picking him up off the ground when he still didn’t respond to her, she gasped at the sight of his bloody nose.

“Oh no!” she cried, “I’m sooooo sorry!” she insisted, as she helped him back up on her bed, quickly running into the bathroom for damp wash cloth.

Wordlessly, he didn’t resist as she held the cloth to his nose, and after a moment, she attempted to lighten the mood slightly by uttering, “Well, it doesn’t feel broken.” He still didn’t say anything, his gaze heated.

“I said I was sorry.” she stated with mild irritation, then catching the look in his eyes she promptly shut her mouth.

She’d thought that perhaps he’d been quiet because she’d hurt him, physically or< mentally, and thought that maybe he was sad or depressed, or whatever. But according to the look in his eyes, he was pissed. She was sure, based on that look, that if he didn’t have the amount of honor that she knew he had, that he would have probably decked her one. But as it was, she knew he didn’t hit women, unless it was a female oni they were attacking over a the jewel shards, and she was grateful for that fact. Remaining silent herself then, she took the towel away after a moment, returning to the bathroom to wash the blood out, all the while desperately trying to keep her tears in check.

Once he was by himself again, Inuyasha kicked himself for the look of fear he’d clearly caught in her gaze. He hadn’t meant to make her fear him. He would never hurt her. He knew she hadn’t meant to hurt him like she had, and was genuinely apologetic. It was his own fault, he knew, for running away at the mouth like he’d been. He had to try and repair as much of the damage as he could now.

When Kagome reentered her room a moment later, she lingered in the doorway at first as if unsure of what to do with herself, until she finally shut the door behind her and made her way over towards her lamp, switching it on. It was getting rather dark, after all.

“That fucking hurt.” she suddenly heard him utter behind her, breaking the silence, and though his words stung her, she still appreciated the fact that he was speaking to her.

“I’m sorry…” she stated again, turning to face him once more. At least his nose hadn’t started to bleed again after she’d taken the rag away. “I didn’t think.” she added, knowing it was a lame excuse as she reclaimed her spot on the bed beside him.

“Neither did I.” he shrugged indifferently, adding, “I should learn by now never to piss you off.”

If she hadn’t known any better, she would have sworn she’d heard mild amusement in his voice at that statement.

“You’re not stupid.” she said matter-of-factly, and he shrugged again, mumbling childishly, “Am sometimes…”

“It’s the year of the dog.” she blurted suddenly, surprised with herself for admitting it. Really though, why should something like that be a secret?

His eyes widened as he turned to look at her, and she thought for a second that her fears had been justified. That he felt made fun of, belittled, compared to minor beasts. In actuality, that wasn’t the reason for his surprise at all.

“It just became the year of the dog in my time…too.” he confessed, surprised by the coincidence.

“Really?” she asked, genuinely surprised as well. She hadn’t been expecting that.

“So why didn’t you want me to know?” he asked her next, assuring her he hadn’t forgotten, like she’d hoped he had.

Shrugging, she confessed, “I’m not really sure. Just thought you’d be upset, I guess.”

“Why? It’s just a year.”

“Well…” She made a circular gesture in the air with her hands, “You know…”

“Because I’m half dog?” he asked knowingly, agitation creeping into his voice.

“It was stupid, okay?” she admitted, “I don’t know what I was thinking, except that whenever I’d brought that up in the past, you’d gotten all bent out of shape about it.”

“Well how the fuck am I supposed to react when you fucking pat me on the head and say good boy?!” he snapped, angry once more.

“I never meant anything by it!” Kagome yelled in her own defense, and he scoffed. “You always insult me!” she said next, “You’re always calling me a bitch! And don’t even try to use the dog thing as an excuse in your favor for that one. You can’t have it both ways!”

He opened his mouth to retort, but then promptly shut it again.

“It’s not just that word…” she continued, though a little softer of voice now. “You always call me weak, and stupid, and-”

“Shut up would ya?” he suddenly interrupted, “I didn’t mean none of that shit, and you should fucking know that, wench.”

She would have gotten upset at the ‘wench’ remark, were it not for the playful light she suddenly found behind his eyes. Jeez, but were his moods changing quickly…

“I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings, I never meant to.” he confessed next, as though the admittance was an everyday occurrence.

Kagome suddenly found herself gaping at him with a very ‘Who are you and what have you done with Inuyasha?’ look on her face.

“What?” he chuckled, catching her gaze.

He chuckled???

“Ummm…” she started, hesitant of upsetting him again now that he’d calmed down. “I’m sorry…if I hurt your feelings, I mean. Ya know, with the dog stuff. I never meant to, either.”

She gulped.

“Don’t worry about it.” he answered softly, and she breathed a sigh of relief. “I know you’d never hurt me on purpose, you love me too much.” he teased, surprised by the sound of her startled gasp.

He’d meant it only in the same way anyone might mean it in a teasing manner. Like for example, if you and someone you knew were having mild words with each other, and that person proceeded to stop the argument by claiming you were either annoying or unbelievable or something of the sort, and then your reply had been “But you know you love me.” with a wink and a big shit-eating grin on your face, to which that person would most likely throw up their hands in the universal sign for “I give up!” and stomp out of the room, followed by the sounds of your laughter.

That was how he’d meant it.

That was not how Kagome took it.

“Kagome…?” he questioned nervously, uncomfortable with the way she just kept staring at him, like a rabbit facing a wolf. “Hello? Earth to Kagome?” He had gotten the expression from Souta.

“Wha…” she started after a moment, “Why would you…I mean, when…how…”

“Huh?”

“Ok ay…” she started again, “What did you just say?”

“About what?”

My gods…she questioned herself, Is Totosai contagious?

“Never mind…” she attempted, waving her hand about dismissively.

Now he was curious, and replaying the last things he’d said in his brain for a moment, huge mahogany eyes opening wide indicated he’d figured it out, and she gulped again.

“Kagome? I didn’t mean…that is…I was just…” Damn it… he cursed himself. Now she had him stuttering like a human fool.

“Ummm, maybe we should just go to bed.” he attempted after a moment.

“What?!”

“I meant to sleep!” he quickly defended.

“Inuyasha-”

“Look...” he interrupted, swallowing his pride, “I didn’t mean any shit like that.” he assured her, having fully well realized where her sudden nervousness had come from. “I may turn human for a night, but I’m still just a hanyou. I know ain’t nobody gonna want me.” She opened her mouth to say something, but he wouldn’t let her. “Don’t go gettin’ all defensive neither, would ya? I didn’t called myself worthless or nothin.’ I know you say I’m good enough just the way I am, but that don’t mean you love me or nothin.’ Don’t go worrying that I got the wrong idea, okay? I ain’t as stupid as the fucking wolf, who can’t catch a clue, and mistakes kindness to mean something more. I know you care about me, kami knows why, but your friendship means a lot to me, and I don’t wanna lose that.” She was in tears by that point in his speech, which pissed him off. “Damn it Kagome, don’t fucking cry! I hate it when you cry…” he finished softly, reaching up to cup her cheeks with both hands, wiping away the streaks of water from her face with his thumbs.

“Inuyasha…” she sighed again, “You’ve got it all wrong.”

He stiffened, comically frozen with his hands still cupping her cheeks. “Which part?” he asked cautiously after a moment, and he was relieved to see her smile, if for no other reason than her tears were drying up. He loved her smiles. He hated seeing her cry.

Before he could pull away, she reached up with both of her hands, holding his to the sides of her face, as she softly whispered, “That I don’t love you.”

He gasped, and remained frozen to the spot, even as he saw her slowly leaning her body closer to his. Feeling her breath mere inches away from his own, some instinct he hadn’t even known he’d had suddenly insisted that he close the gap between them, as he leaned forward the rest of the way, their lips slowly meeting in a soft, chaste kiss.

He pulled away just as quickly as he’d leaned forward, as soon as his senses had returned to him, and releasing her face, he backed himself away a few paces, toward the headboard of her bed, as he mumbled, “I’m sorry…” under his breath.

“Of all the things I’ve ever wanted you to apologize for…” she stated gently, “…that wasn’t one of them.”

“I don’t understand.” he confessed, as he dared meet her gaze, relieved to find that her expression matched her words.

“It’s simple really…” Kagome whispered, praying that his mood wouldn’t suddenly change on her again. “…I love you.” she confessed.

He didn’t get angry, like she was afraid he might, instead remaining confused, as he asked her, “Why?”

To his utter disbelief, she laughed.

What the hell is so funny? he thought incredulously, And I thought I had messed up emotions, sheesh...

“Um, Kagome?”

“Probably for the same reasons you care about me.” she answered after a moment, scooting herself closer to him once more. “We’re so alike…” she elaborated, chuckling again at his disbelieving scoff. “No really…” she insisted, as she proceeded to explain, “We’re both as stubborn as hell when it comes to our own opinions, neither refusing to back down when we think we’re right.”

“That’s about the only thing we have in common.” the hanyou-turned-human piped up when she had paused to breathe, and she let him continue, as he stated, “You’re too damn trusting, while I’ve learned that dropping your guard can mean losing your life.” She was quickly sobering. “You see the good in everyone, while I see the world as being full of bastards. You always need to do what’s right, when I really don’t give a rat’s ass-” She gently placed a finger to his lips at that one.

“You’re right, that you didn’t used to care about doing the right thing, but you do now, I know you do.” He feh’d under her finger, and chuckling again, the miko continued. “Like with the ordeal with Shiori.” she pointed out. “You didn’t have to try and save her. You could have just killed her, like Myouga wanted, but-”

“Hey!” he interrupted, remembering the time she spoke of. “That was when you pulled that good boy crap!” he snapped at the memory. “So proud of me for doing the right thing that…that…that you fucking pat me on the head like I’m your pet!” he grouched, half expecting to hear more chuckling out of her.

“I’m really sorry.” she mumbled softly instead, “I don’t know why I did that.”

“Do you really see me that way?” he asked her quietly, desperate for the truth.

She wasn’t positive what he meant, given recent topics of conversation, and asked, “Which way?”

“Like a…like a dog…” he mumbled dejectedly.

She smiled then. “No.” she answered honestly, reaching forward and hooking a finger under his chin, raising his velvet eyes to meet her own. “I see you as Inuyasha.” she explained. “I see you as a strong, brave, honorable man, who’s been through way too much heartache for one lifetime, even given the length of yours.” she explained, knowing he aged like a youkai.

“You see me as…a man?” he asked, amazed by that one word alone. “It’s not just because of the new moon, right?” he asked next, wishing to make sure.

“No, it’s not just because of the new moon.” she confirmed, adding, “I love you, and I accept your youkai blood and appearance as a hanyou.”

She was caught off guard when he flung himself forward, wrapping his arms around her frantically, as though if he didn’t hold her tight she would disappear from his life forever. She had half expected a searing kiss to have accompanied his embrace, but it was merely a hug. The hug of life, as though her very presence had finally given purpose to his.

“Not even Kikyou fully accepted me.” she heard him mumble, and biting back the tears that wanted to fall, she tightened her grip on his back in return, while answering, “I’m not her.”

“I know…” he assured, as he slowly pulled away, “I know you’re not.” he confirmed, while looking in her eyes.

Kagome was amazed by the sheer magnitude of his stare in that moment. It was as though he was seeing her for the first time. Truly seeing her, and not something he had been trying to see in her that simply wasn’t there.

“May I…” he started hesitantly after a moment, “May I kiss you again?”

She was touched that he would ask such a thing. She absolutely loved this man, mind, body and soul. Wordlessly, she nodded her consent.

Tenderly, and carefully, as though not fully sure of himself, Inuyasha leaned forward, while reaching up with his right hand and placing it on the back of her head, as he slowly pulled her into him as he continued to approach. When their lips met, it was simple, at first. He had very little experience kissing, but knew it was more than simply pressing their lips together. Timidly, he began moving his mouth in a slow fashion, and Kagome instantly responded, caressing his lips with her own.

It was Kagome who then took it to the next level, delicately allowing her tongue to grace the edge of his bottom lip. He was surprised, but willing, and opened his mouth further, allowing her to explore him as he decided to do the same. He didn’t need any first-hand knowledge of what he was doing, he found, quickly realizing that his body apparently held within it all the instincts he’d ever need to carry him through whatever it was they were doing.

Realizing that she needed to be the one to make the next move, Kagome slowly started pressing herself more fully into Inuyasha, lowering him to the bed below, as she lowered herself in turn. Resting upon his chest and stomach, she continued to assault him with her tongue, venturing beyond the borders of his mouth to nip his chin and suckle his throat, before rejoining the kiss once more.

Inuyasha, for his part, hadn’t even registered the fact that he was now lying on his back in the submissive position with Kagome strewn out on top of him. The only sounds that could be heard were those of heavy breathing, as he just as eagerly began to explore her neck and shoulders, his hands gripping her possessively across her back, and tangling in her hair. All rational thought had left both parties long ago, as Kagome found herself clutching a fist full of his raven locks, as she pulled him up to meet her lips once more.

Still dressed in her school uniform from earlier that day, when Kagome shifted her legs in such a fashion that she was straddling him, the flimsy barrier of her panties did nothing to hinder the sensation of the hardness she suddenly found directly beneath her. His audible gasp in that moment also suggested that the contact hadn’t gone unnoticed by him, either.

Slowly coming to, as the fog of passion lifted from both of their minds, a panting and flush Kagome found herself looking down into the eyes of a panting and flush Inuyasha.

“Umm…”

“I understand if you want to stop.” he said somberly.

“It’s just that I-”

“You don’t need to explain.” he interrupted.

“Inuyasha…” Kagome scolded, comically deciding to grind herself into him, earning his full attention, even as he failed to bite back the soft moan that escaped him. “It has nothing to do with you being hanyou.” she insisted softly, knowing where he was going without him even having to say so. “It’s just that I’m a virgin and I’m nervous, okay?” she blurted out.

“Well it’s not like I’ve ever…” he started to confess, before he shut himself up in utter embarrassment. He was afraid she was going to tease him now, just like Miroku had when he’d found out.

Why am I not surprised? she thought instead, It’s not exactly like he’s had ample opportunities here.

“Okay…” she said softly after a moment of rolling this revelation around in her head, “Then we’ll be each other’s firsts…I like that.” she finished with a smile.

“You...you mean…you really want to?” he asked in utter disbelief.

She responded by rubbing herself against his ever present erection, earning a louder moan of pleasure this time, before chuckling, and answering, “Well, you clearly want to.”

“I…I…” Damn it, she’ll think I’m some weakling! he cursed at his stuttering blabber, “I do…” he said after a moment, “I…I want to.”

Smiling, she lowered her upper body to his once more, as they resumed their kissing, his arms wrapping securely around her back, holding her to him. Slowly, Kagome continued to grind herself against him, and it wasn’t long before his hips were rising up to meet her thrusts. Growing bolder, Kagome cupped the sides of his face, holding his head still as she devoured him, while Inuyasha simultaneously grew some nerve of his own, rubbing his hands frantically all over her back until eventually lowering to firmly grip her ass, assisting in the way she ground herself against him. It wasn’t hard to find his way underneath her tiny excuse for a skirt, and soon, he was cupping her ass directly, only the thin layer of her cotton panties preventing his calloused palms from feeling the softness of her flesh.

Flushed and panting once more in no time, Inuyasha finally realized that he didn’t want to be in the submissive position, and swiftly flipped them over, pinning her to the bed beneath him. He ground his hips forward, rubbing his stiffness against the damp crotch of her panties, her skirt having fanned up around her waist when he’d flipped them. Curling her legs up and around his own, she shifted to draw him in even closer, as it was then Kagome’s turn to frantically claw at his back.

It wasn’t long before he ventured beyond her mouth again, trailing kisses along her throat, wishing he had his claws so that he could tear away the fabric he found as a hindrance when he reached her shoulder once more. Fumbling with the small fasteners running along the front of her shirt, he momentarily panicked when he felt her hand join his, thinking she was trying to stop him, only to be incredibly relieved…and eager…when he realized she was actually undoing the buttons herself. Once the last button was undone, he swiftly pushed the flaps of fabric aside, lifting himself up onto his arms slightly so that he could gaze down at her.

Her chest wasn’t fully exposed to him as she was wearing one of those bra things, but the tops of her mounds were spilling out of it in her current position, and the hardened peaks of her nipples could also clearly be seen poking through the thin material. Leaning forward, he took one peak into his mouth, tugging on it through the fabric gently with his blunted human teeth, earning a surprised hiss of pleasure from the woman lying beneath him.

When he felt her hands pressing flatly against his chest, as if gesturing that she wished for him to sit up, he no longer feared that he’d done anything wrong. Getting up and off of her slightly, allowing her to sit up as well, Inuyasha greedily watched as Kagome shrugged her opened blouse down and off her arms, tossing it to the floor below, before promptly proceeding to reach behind her back to unhook the last article of clothing that rested between herself and his eyes. Speaking of his eyes, they widened, not in surprise, but in anticipation, at the realization of what she was doing. Deciding fair was fair, he quickly tugged on his robes, untucking them from within his hamaka. As complicated as the knots appeared, experience allowed him to have his obi untied in no time, as well as the small black string used to hold down the extra flaps of material across his chest, and as a result, his fire-rat suikan quickly fell open. Shrugging the short jacket to the floor along with her blouse and bra, he then made quick work of untying the belt holding closed his kosode, as well, and shrugging off the white robe next soon left a topless Inuyasha ready to engage the topless Kagome.

She mewled in pleasure as he held her down, momentarily attacking her mouth once more, as they both merely relished in the contact of flesh on flesh. Gradually though, he did work his way lower again, and now no longer hindered by fabric, it wasn’t long before he latched onto her nipple directly. Rolling his tongue in circles around the beaded flesh, he smiled against her at the way her back unconsciously arched into him at his attentions. He couldn’t believe this was actually happening, that she would actually allow him to touch her in such a fashion. But he also wasn’t about to complain, either.

Permitting his hand to venture lower, while his mouth remained preoccupied up above, he was amazed by the dampness he discovered. His human sense of smell hadn’t permitted him to scent her arousal, so he’d had no idea she was already so ready for him. Teasing her by rubbing his fingers in a slow circular motion around her clad moisture, he growled in satisfaction when he felt her hips rise to meet his ministrations. He damn near yelped in surprise, though, when he suddenly felt her reach within the open side-slit of his hakama and wrap her hand around his stiffness through the minimal barrier of his fundoshi.

Thrusting himself into her hand, he growled again, as he more forcefully devoured her breast, thankful for his missing fangs as he was sure he would have otherwise drawn blood in his haste. Shifting himself slightly up her body, he pulled her hand away from his cock as he straightened his position over her, once again grinding his stiffness against the source of her heat. Burying his hands beneath her sides, he managed to wrap his arms around her, despite his weight pinning her to the mattress below, as he held her to him as forcefully as he dared without crushing her.

Feeling her sneak a hand in between their bodies as second time, as she slowly started to tug loose the knots on his hakama, he chuckled hungrily as he pulled away only enough to grant her better access. Successfully undoing the binds that held the front and back flaps of his pants up, she eagerly tugged down the fabric, to reveal the filled-to-capacity fundoshi that lied hidden within. Closing the distance between them to grind against her once more, the feelings were much more intense, now that only two mere layers of cotton separated them from each other. With the thick fur of his fire-rat hakama no longer a hindrance to her wandering hands, either, Kagome relished in the feel of his bare ass in her grip as she firmly cupped his cheeks.

It wasn’t long before he sat up again, merely to kick his hakama the rest of the way off, Kagome taking the opportunity to also slip out of her skirt and socks. Both clad merely in white fundoshi - though hers were the more modern variety - they relished in the fullest yet of skin-on-skin contact, as she wrapped her bare legs up and around his own, while pinning his chest to hers with her arms wrapped securely around his back. Grinding his stiffness against her covered heat, he could feel her moisture against his flesh, as the cloth he was wrapped in became saturated with her essence.

Slowly, Kagome’s hands ventured lower once more, cupping his ass briefly, before fumbling with the edges of his wrapping, searching for the way to untie it. It didn’t take him long to realize what she was doing, and his most basic of instincts, his pride as a male, beamed at the knowledge that this female was ready and willing to receive him. Feeling the last piece of his covering be pulled away, as she succeeded in freeing him from it, he thrust forward with the desire to enter her, his movements halted only by the final barrier she still wore.

This time, it was Inuyasha who pulled Kagome up, as he damn near ripped those panties from her body. She gasped in mild surprise at his aggressive side, but quickly decided that she was not displeased. She figured he had been so reserved his entire life, knowing he was more or less condemned to a life of solitude, so how would she react if she’d thought such a fate awaited her, only to suddenly discover that there was somebody out there who loved her, and wanted her?

She smiled when she caught the way he was gazing down at her. Yes, he had the look of a hungry animal in his eyes, but that was only part of it. A relatively small part, truth be told. He was, after all, human at the moment. Kagome could also see in his eyes the pure, unadulterated love he felt for her. Even if he never said it, which so far he hadn’t, she knew in that moment precisely how he felt.

She was pulled from her thoughts by the sound of his voice asking, “You ready?” and her heart beamed at the realization, yet again, of what a special person this man truly was. How many men, at least from the Feudal era, would have bothered asking their woman that question?

“Just go slow.” she whispered in response, and he nodded his understanding.

Testing her first with a finger, to be sure she was truly ready, Inuyasha’s own heart beamed at realizing that she was just as aroused as he was. You couldn’t fake that. No one could make themselves as wet as she was if they weren’t truly into it. Inserting a second finger, and then a third, he stretched her slowly, some instinct somewhere telling him that he needed to do this. Kagome reacted below him immediately, moaning and wiggling on the bed, her body unconsciously trying to assist his fingers with finding the most pleasing angle. He noticed she seemed to want special attention paid to a little nub of flesh that rested above her opening, and he shifted his strokes to be sure and brush against it with every pass.

As soon as she was bucking off of the bed, thrusting against his hand, he knew she was close. He knew what was about to happen would be uncomfortable for her, and he wanted her to feel as much pleasure as possible first. When he felt her muscles spasm and contract around his fingers, he was filled with a new type of pride as she cried his name while thrashing wildly. He waited until her convulsions ceased and she calmed below him before slowly pulling his fingers away, matching her gaze of love with one of his own. Bringing his glistening digits to his lips, his eyes met hers with a hungry glow once more, as she watched him suckle her juices from his fingers. Positioning himself above her body, he smiled at the way she spread her legs apart, eager to receive him.

He pressed in slowly, not wanting to hurt her too badly. The barrier that would have caused her the most pain had fortunately been broken long ago, what with years of tampons and hanyou-back riding, not to mention fighting youkai on a regular basis, but it was still foreign for her body to suddenly be opened so much wider than anything she was used to, it still hurt to be stretched so far.

Hearing her hiss in pain, he stilled instantly, frantically asking, “Are you okay?!”

Nodding and smiling, she met his look of concern with one of pure love, as she assured him, “Never better.” At his look of uncertainty, she added, “Please, continue.”

Giving her a look that commanded she had better tell him the moment it hurt too much, he slowly nodded, and began pushing into her once more. She bit her bottom lip and did her best to receive him without complaint, until she finally felt his hips pressed against her own, indicating he was fully sheathed within her to the hilt. Inuyasha was biting his own bottom lip as well, but for a whole different reason. She felt absolutely fucking fantastic! Sure, he had relieved himself with his hand from time to time, but that was nothing compared to her warmth. He felt as though his entire body was engulfed in searing heat, an excruciating burn that spread slowly throughout his veins, singeing his very soul. Every fiber of his being was screaming at him to move, and yet he remained still, a torturous blend of horror and ecstasy encasing him within her aura. Silently, he awaited her signal.

It took Kagome a moment to focus on much of anything else, as the less enjoyable burning sting she felt within her body slowly subsided. Feeling as though he could probably start moving now, she intended to say so, but upon opening her eyes - which she didn’t even remember closing - she was stunned speechless by the soul piercing intensity she saw within his velvet stare. He seemed ageless, as she gazed into his eyes in that moment. This man had seen so much pain…And yes, he was a man. A kind, gentle, loving, loyal, arrogant, stubborn, opinionated, sometimes childish man. Her man. A man who desperately needed to know that he was loved.

Speaking to him with her own pools of chocolate in that moment, Inuyasha saw her look of love, and replied with one of his own, as he silently vowed to be gentle.

Withdrawing slowly only to just as carefully push back in, he needed to bite his lip once more to prevent a cry of ecstasy from escaping him. Nothing in life should feel this good. He wasn’t even entirely sure that anything in life could feel this good. Perhaps this was all just a dream, and he would awaken to once again find himself shunned and alone. But the feel of the girl beneath him was much too real to be a dream, and the look in her eyes seemed to assure him of that as well.

He quickened his pace gradually, ensuring that Kagome’s body had ample time to adjust to his increasing tempo. When her hips started to rise in time with his thrusts, he knew that her pain had finally subsided, at least to the point that she was now enjoying their joining as well. He felt a little guilty that the first time was uncomfortable for females, but her constant look of reassurance insisted that she was more than willing do endure whatever unpleasantries were necessary in order to obtain themselves this moment in time.

From Kagome’s point of view, she was awestruck. Sure, it had hurt a little bit, at first, but the longer he continued his soothing motions within her body, the less and less displeasing it became. Encouraging him to go faster, she was rewarded with wave after wave of pure bliss that washed through her with every stroke. As wondrous as it was, it was nothing compared to the pleasure she felt in her heart. Hearing him grunt and moan with each insertion of his body, she knew it wouldn’t be long before he reached his peak.

Inuyasha was in heaven. Unquestionable, unfathomable, blinding heaven. Draping his entire body over hers, he brought his lips down in a searing kiss that spoke of promises of forever. Kagome responded by wrapping her arms up and around his body, one hand to the back of his head, and the other, his backside, as she drew his entire being into herself even further. No words were spoken between them as they each silently deemed that none were needed.

When he felt his climax on the approach, he hastened his pace. Lowering his head, he instinctively buried his face in the crook of her neck, preparing himself for the unknown. Kagome surprised him when suddenly, she cupped the sides of his face, raising his eyes to meet her own. The shimmer he found in her mahogany orbs clearly indicated one thing, that she wished to look into his eyes when he came.

Reaching up to cup her face in his hands as well, he silently signaled his understanding, as they held onto each other, braced each other, until…

He exploded.

Crying his release to the heavens, he would only later remember and feel grateful for the fact that her family had not been home at the moment. He tried to grant Kagome her wish, but it wasn’t long before his eyes found themselves clamped shut, as wave after wave of monstrous bliss mercilessly washed through him.

Gasping for breath and shaking in utter exhaustion, the hanyou-turned-human slowly rolled himself over, fearful of crushing her with his weight were he to merely collapse where he lay. Kagome, having experienced a rapture of sorts herself with the knowledge of the pleasure her friend had just derived from her, decided she would not ruin the perfection of the moment with worries regarding where this whole experience left them, and their relationship. Instead, she decided to break the silence by semi-playfully asking him “You okay?” after observing the way he continued to shake, and how heavily his bangs were plastered to his face with the thickness of his sweat.

A slow chuckle intermixed itself with his heavy breaths, and Kagome still found the sound an odd one coming from him, albeit a joyous one, as well. Slowly, he turned his head to look at her, and reaching across, he gripped her hand in his, holding on firmly, as if to say he would never let go. “Never better.” he answered after a moment, mirroring the last words Kagome had said to him when their intimacy had first began.

Scooting herself over slightly and resting her head on his chest, he wrapped his arm around her, holding her tightly, as he tilted his head enough to rest it upon the top of hers. With his free hand he managed to pull up the blankets, knowing that the last thing he wanted was for Kagome to get sick from being too cold during the night. Slowly, two sets of breathing evened out, and heart rates slowed, as sleep eventually found the pair.

```````````````````````````````````

The following morning, Kagome awoke slowly to the most tranquil feeling of warmth and security she could ever recall. Some parts of her felt a little sore, but waking up sore was a fairly common occurrence for her those days. As soon as it registered exactly which parts were sore, however, consciousness began to return a bit more swiftly. Fluttering her eyes open, she was met with the sight of bare flesh - a chest, to be precise - and instantly, the memories of all that had transpired washed through her.

Oh my gods… was the first thought to come to mind, I…I took advantage of Inuyasha.

Was it true? She couldn’t decide, but one thing she did know was that his emotions had been out of his control. He’d had none of the barriers he usually held erect over his heart, and had been suffering from more mood swings than a pregnant woman. She should have known better than to initiate anything intimate with a man going through something like that. As soon as he became aroused, you might as well have played an audio track of Porky Pig stuttering through ‘That’s all folks’ for there most certainly had been no turning back. But that wasn’t true, either, was it? At one point, early on, he had given her a way out. Of course, it wasn’t actually as though he had wanted to stop. He’d simply believed that she hadn’t wanted to continue, because he was filthy and tainted in his own eyes, and she couldn’t possibly have ceased their activities then, letting him go on thinking that, right? She’d been convinced at that point that continuing was precisely what they‘d needed to do, in order for her to prove to him just how much he truly meant to her. She’d had fantasies about seducing him for a while now, to be honest. She’d dreamt about him returning her feelings, and them sharing a night of passion. But in those dreams of hers, he had always been lucid of his decisions…he’d always been in his right frame of mind, and in his hanyou form. Not that she wasn’t attracted to him in his human form as well, it was certainly the opposite, but she loved his hanyou form just as much, if not more so, even if for no other reason than it was simply the form she was most accustomed to.

Oh gods... she panicked again, when she belatedly realized it was morning, which meant that the very hanyou form she’d just been thinking about was precisely what she was currently using for her pillow. He never slept through his transformation. How could anyone sleep through something like that? Granted, he usually didn’t sleep during his human nights at all, but there had been a few times when exhaustion had claimed him due to injury. He had always awoken immediately at the crack of dawn, regardless of how badly he was still wounded. There was zero doubt in her mind that he was fully conscious and awake. Horrid guilt washed through her. What must he be thinking? Surely he had only continued to hold her because he wished to let her sleep as long as possible, in order to delay the inevitable. She instantly wished she could go back to sleep in that moment, and wondered how long she could get away with lying still before her state of wakefulness was discovered, if it hadn’t been already. How could she possibly face him now? He’d trusted her. He’d trusted her with his most rarest moment of vulnerability, and she had taken advantage of him.

```

Inuyasha had awoken, as she suspected, at the crack of dawn, when the return of his youki had triggered his physical transformation. It wasn’t that the transformation itself was uncomfortable, he just always hated becoming weak. He actually cherished the sensation of his strengths returning to him in the morning, when his fangs and claws returned, and his ears morphed and shifted upon his head. Taking a deep breath, he had nearly smiled; he could smell again. Only then did he realize precisely what he was smelling, as he opened his amber eyes to gaze down at the unconscious beauty he still held in her sleep.

He cringed.

How was he going to get himself out of this one? Of all the stupid, hurtful things he’d ever done to her, taking advantage of her had to be an all-time low. He knew she was soft on him, cared about him, and hell, she’d even claimed she loved him, but that was no excuse. What the hell was all that ‘I’m just a hanyou and nobody will have me’ crap? Just guilt the poor girl to death, why don’t you. ‘May I kiss you again?’ Did he really say that? Looking back on last night now was like looking back on a night of drunkenness.

Trying to look at things from a positive point of viwe, he took a moment to truly take stock of the situation. The girl loved him, and accepted that he was a hanyou, and she had been willing to…to do what they did…so, was it really as bad as he was making it out to be? She wasn’t fertile at the moment, and wouldn’t get pupped. That was a good thing. Silently, the hanyou wondered if during his human night, he’d sire a human child. Mentally shaking the pointless quandary free from his thoughts, he focused on what truly mattered. He’d taken advantage of her. He’d taken her. She might love him, and have wanted to be with him, but he should have known better than to allow his weakened state to permit what he’d known could never be. How was he supposed to live with the consequences of his actions now? He’d taken her innocence, her maidenhood, and left in its place the used up whore of a youkai. True, he was half human, but the villages they’d traveled to had never cared about that in the past, and he seriously doubted they’d suddenly start to now. Kagome was so sweet, and so naïve, and just because she thought the world was all waterfalls and rainbows didn’t mean that he didn’t know better. If people found out they were together…

Even if you discount for the moment the fact that he’s half youkai, there’s still the very real issue of her having bedded…anyone. Women, at least those with any honor, were supposed to remain pure until they were married - not that he was saying that Kagome didn’t have any honor. He knew things might be different in her time, but most people in the Feudal era had no idea Kagome was not of their world. Then another thought struck him. What about her family? He was sure the customs of her time couldn’t be all that different from the customs of his own. How angry was her mother going to be with him for ruining her daughter? Would she seek revenge? Would she demand his life? Or demand that he marry Kagome? Though, honestly, the latter he could live with…

Whoa…

Where had that thought come from? Then again, shouldn’t he marry her anyway? It would be the right thing to do, wouldn’t it? Then again, that would guarantee her a life of ridicule in his world. Suddenly, the honorable thing to do, and the right thing to do, looked like two very different things. As a man, staying by her side as her husband would be the honorable thing to do, but as her friend, letting her go would be the right thing to do. They could pretend the whole thing had never happened, and nobody would have to know. She would be spared a lifetime of prejudice, and he would have a cherished memory to carry with him for the rest of his days.

With the decision finally made, all that was left to do now was wait until she woke up, and pray to the kami that when he broke the news to her, she would leave enough space between her rounds of sits to at least let him explain himself. Unfortunately, after years of traveling and camping outdoors, Kagome was not a very late sleeper. He was granted merely another half hour, tops, before the girl slowly started to rouse.

Listening to her body’s tell tale signs of wakefulness, he knew precisely when she had become aware of her surroundings, and more importantly, of last night’s events. He was surprised when the scent of fear assaulted his nose, a rather uncomfortable feeling starting to develop in the pit of his stomach. What could she possibly be afraid of? Did she fear he thought of her as a whore now? Did she fear she had been used, and that he didn’t love her? That at her words of love, he had decided hey, here’s a female I can bed, ready and willing? That hadn’t been it at all! He did love her, but…but it was for that reason he should have never permitted himself to taint her! Then a new horrible thought found its way to him. What if…what if bedding with him really had tainted her, more than just her honor? He didn’t really know how miko magic worked. What if she was too impure now? What if...what if she had lost her miko powers?

Damn it all to hell! I never think anything through!

He was pulled from his self-loathing by the sudden sound of her voice.

```

Kagome had laid quietly for what she figured had to have been at least five minutes. Five minutes in which she was fairly certain he had been aware of her wakefulness. Why he hadn’t said or done anything yet was beyond her, unless, of course, he was simply too pissed off to speak. Then again, maybe she was just letting her paranoia run away with her. Maybe he didn’t feel used or mistreated. Maybe he wan’t angry with her at all, and was merely relishing in the peacefulness that rested between them. Maybe he’d turn to her with those golden eyes of molten honey, and whisper, “Good morning” before leaning forward to plant a chaste kiss upon her lips, nose, or forehead. That was how it always happened in her fantasies, at least.

She had no possible way of knowing what he was actually thinking, and she wouldn’t either, until she swallowed her pride and engaged him. They simply couldn’t lie there forever, even as pleasant as the thought sounded. Her mother knew she was supposed to be heading back to the Feudal era that morning, so it would only be a matter of time before she came to check on her. Oh gods…how would her mother react to finding Kagome naked and in bed with an equally naked Inuyasha? Blushing despite herself, she knew her mother wouldn’t be angry. Surprised, perhaps, embarrassed, for sure, but not angry. Even so, that wasn’t really how she wanted to start the day, and she knew that she and Inuyasha needed to have a little talk, before her mother became a part of the equation.

Swallowing her pride, noticing how dry her mouth felt when she did so, she finally decided to break the silence.

“Good morning…” she mumbled, cringing at how cliché it suddenly sounded in real life.

His heart literally stopped beating at her words. Here we go… he thought.

“Morning…” he mumbled back, hesitant to say anything more. He cringed again. This was going to be the hardest thing he’d ever had to do.

Her breath caught in her throat at the sound of his reply. It didn’t sound forced, which was a good thing. She was pretty sure he wouldn’t be able to conceal it if he were truly angry with her. Instead, he sounded rather…apprehensive, like he felt as though he was walking on egg shells. Had he remained still and silent all this time simply awaiting her to be the first to speak? Though he still hadn’t moved a muscle, and neither had she, he had been quick in his response once the silence had initially been broken. Not only that, he was the next to say something else, as well…

Knowing he simply could not become silent again after acknowledging her greeting with one of his own, he figured they might as well get on with it. Best to do it quickly and get it over with, right?

“Sleep well?” he asked.

Kagome was then the first to actually move, even in the slightest, as she nodded her head against where it still laid upon his chest. “You?” she asked after a moment.

“Fine. Look,” he started, knowing they couldn’t beat around the bush any longer, “About last night…” he said again, hoping she would recognize it as the beginning of the apology that it was.

Slowly, he sat himself up, forcing her to sit up as well, finally losing the comfort of their shared warmth. Pinning the edge of the blanket over her chest in an attempt at retaining some modesty, Kagome slowly raised her eyes, braving the look she would find in his own when she did so. Upon meeting his gaze, she gasped. She had never…never…seen so many emotions displayed so clearly within those pools of amber. One that she recognized right away, though its presence pierced her soul, was regret. He regretted last night.

“I’m sorry.” she mumbled without warning, barely a whisper.

That stopped him right in his tracks, as he adopted a look of surprise and confusion.

“Why are you sorry?” he asked, truly perplexed.“I’m the one who should have known better.” he stated solemnly.

Shaking her head, she argued, “No, you weren’t yourself last night, and I knew that. I should never have taken advantage of your emotional state…” She had to stop herself as tears threatened to breach her eyes.

Did she just say…? “You think you took advantage of me?” he asked, unable to hide a dark chuckle of irony.

Scenting the beginning of her tears, he reached forward and gently pulled her into a soft embrace, unable to believe what he was hearing. Resting his chin on her shoulder, he spoke in merely a whisper, knowing she would hear the words he uttered so close to her ear. “Kagome…” he started, wishing to assure her, “You didn’t do anything wrong, okay? What you gave me…that was a wonderful gift…that I doubt I deserved. You’re the one who’s going to suffer as a result, not me. I’m the one who’s sorry.” he managed to say.

“Suffer…?” she mumbled questioningly, as she attempted to wrap her mind around his apologetic words.

“For being the whore of a filthy half-breed.” he muttered, grimacing when he felt her gasp against him, before she promptly pushed herself away.

Way to go dumb ass… he chastised, but her reaction was not what he was expecting.

“Don’t you dare call yourself that ever again!” she demanded, “You are not filthy!”

She doesn’t care that I just called her a whore? he thought, stupefied.

“Ummm…” he started, unsure of what to say after something like that, but she wasn’t finished yet.

“I really don’t care what others may think. If they want to think I’m some yariman, then let them.” she explained, unfazed by the idea. “We both know the truth, right?” she asked, the tiniest hint of playfulness in her voice.

Rolling her eyes at his obvious hesitation to say…anything…she leaned herself forward to embrace him once more, whispering, “I love you” into his chest.

“I…umm…”

He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. So much for thinking he could just let her go and pretend that nothing had happened. Even though it would be for her own good, she clearly didn’t give a rat’s ass. Her only concerns revolved around him. That was funny, because he didn’t give a rat’s ass about himself, his only thoughts having revolved around her well being. If that wasn’t love, then he didn’t know what was.

“Yeah…” he whispered after a moment, “I…that…yeah, me too.” he stuttered, embarrassed. Maybe one day he’d be able to actually say it.

But Kagome instantly understood what he’d said, even without using the actual words, as her grip on him seemed to tighten tenfold.

“So, umm…” he started up again after a moment, and she pulled away slowly, to meet his eyes with a smile. “Even though most people won’t accept us no matter what ‘cause I’m a hanyou…” he started carefully, seeing her smile instantly turn into a frown, though she didn’t interrupt because she still knew it was the truth, even if she didn’t like it. “…I’m sure we’d probably be all right in Kaede-baba’s village…” he elaborated, and she smiled again, knowing how those villagers had all seemed to finally accept Inuyasha after a while. “…so long as you were properly wed.” he concluded, flattening his ears in anticipation of her reaction.

“Wha…?” she started slowly, the meaning behind his words gradually sinking in. “Did you just ask me to marry you?” she blurted.

“Uh, yeah.” he uttered so low she almost didn’t catch it, his heart sinking at the way her eyes widened in surprise.

I knew it… he thought dejectedly, She may love me, but she still doesn’t want to be saddled to a-

“Nothing would make me happier!” she cried, joyously flinging her arms around him once more.

What the hell???

Wrapping his arms around her in return, he held her silently for a moment, before nervously clearing his throat, wishing to get her attention. When she’d rushed forward that last time, the blanket had dropped from where she’d held it against her chest, and now merely rested pooled around their waists.

“Kagome…” he tried after a moment, rubbing his hands slowly up and down her bare sides, hoping she’d notice.

“Hmmm?” she questioned happily, pulling away, fully aware of the full view she’d just granted her new lover.

“You…errr…that is…” he stuttered, absently gesturing to her appearance.

Giggling, she replied, “Yeah, you too…” she reminded, adding after a moment, “Though I suppose we should get dressed. Aren’t they expecting us back today?”

“Oh…yeah. Yeah they are.” he answered, his blush matching the fire-rat robes that currently still rested on the floor below when he realized that he’d also been fully exposed at some point.

“Well then…” she answered, jumping up off the bed and gathering their clothing, “Let’s go. I’ve got a feeling today is gonna be a beautiful day.”

“Yeah…” he agreed, smiling the first true smile he could recall in quite some time. “Me too.”