Kingdom Hearts Fan Fiction ❯ If This Cat Could Talk... ❯ Oh, Love ( Chapter 15 )

If This Cat Could Talk…

By: Ellipsis the Great

DISCLAIMER: Kingdom Hearts and everything affiliated with it belongs to SquareEnix and Disney. All I own is the plot…

Summary: Axel's therapist suggests that he get a cat to help him get over an accident involving his little brother's best friend. It doesn't take him long to realize that strange things are afoot, however…

Rated: M. THIS CHAPTER IS RATED MATURE FOR MENTIONS OF SEXUAL SITUATIONS BETWEEN TWO BOYS. IF THIS OFFENDS YOU, PLEASE SKIP THAT PART (it will be marked like this :lemon:)

Spoilers: None that I know of…

Warnings: Definite yaoi on the horizon, a little angst (obviously), and I suppose I should point out that this is AU…

 

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CHAPTER SIXTEEN: Oh, Love

 

“You wanted to talk to me?” I asked as we headed upstairs to go to bed after everyone had gone and we'd finished cleaning up.

“Yeah…” Roxas sighed hesitantly, slipping past me into my room and sitting on my bed and staring at his hands.

“So…?” I prompted, sitting beside him. “Roxas, you're okay, aren't you? Is something wrong?”

“Yes…no…it's…” He shook his head. “It's difficult. I, um…” He took a deep breath and finally looked up at me. “Axel, you know why I'm here, right?”

“You're…supposed to help me.” I said slowly.

“And…and you understand that I…that I'm supposed to leave once you're better?” He asked.

“But I'm not better yet.” I balked. “You aren't leaving, are you?”

“No, but I…you're getting a lot better every day. I won't be able to put off leaving for much longer.” He said.

“I don't want you to leave, though.”

“I have to, Axel!” He said. “I can only stay as long as there's something wrong with you.”

“But…but I…”

“The only way to help you is to help Sora, remember?” He asked.

“How are you supposed to help him?” I asked. “You're…you're just…”

“A cat?” He asked.

“No! No.” I said firmly. “You're not just a cat, Roxie. You're so much more than that, and…”

“And that's why I'll have to leave soon.” He said.

“Why? Why do you have to leave? I'm not better yet, Roxas—I still freak out around cars, and I still can't really face Riku and Kairi, and…”

“And you're so much better than you were a week ago…I was only really supposed to stay long enough to get things started, Axel. I've overstayed my welcome.” He said.

“You're always welcome here, Roxas.” I insisted.

He gave me a bittersweet smile. “I know, Axel.”

I started to say something else, but he shook his head. I stopped, and we sat in silence for a few long, awkward moments.

“I didn't get you a birthday present.” He said abruptly.

“You didn't have to, Roxie. You're here, aren't you? That's enough for me.”

He giggled, leaning into me. “I don't have anything of my own to give, anyhow.” He admitted softly.

“That's okay.” I said, putting an arm around his shoulders.

He stiffened for a moment at the sudden contact. Then he looked up at me, seeming almost shy. “There is…there is one thing I could give you.” He whispered.

I smirked. “And what's that? You're undying love?” I asked teasingly.

He froze, his eyes widening, and pulled away from me. “I'm sorry, I…”

“Wait, you…you're serious?” I asked, putting a hand on his arm. “That's what you were talking about?”

“I'm sorry it's not much.” He said, eyes filling with tears. “I still don't understand human ways, Axel. All I know is that when I'm around you, I…I forget that I was supposed to hate you for what you did to Sora. Or…what I thought you did to Sora. And I forget that I'm supposed to leave…that I'm supposed to be helping you. And…and my skin feels hot when you touch it, and I get this funny, fluttery feeling in my stomach when you smile at me, and when you laugh I feel like I have to laugh, too, and…and I was talking to your dad…while you were sleeping, I mean, and…he said that's what love is. So I thought…I…I'm sorry.”

“No, no, hey.” I snagged him around the waist as he stood to run away, pulling him into my lap. “I'm the one who should be sorry, okay? I didn't mean to insult you. I thought I was being sarcastic since you…I thought you were straight?”

“Not when I'm around you.” He said with a hopeful smile. “It's…is that okay?”

“Of course it is, you silly kitten.” I leaned my face close to his ear, smirking when he shivered at the sensation. “I love you, too, got it memorized?”

His eyes widened. “R-really?” He asked, his voice breathy.

“I never say anything I don't mean, Roxie.” I said. “Especially not when it involves something like this.”

That dazzling smile of his spread across his face. “So can I…can I give you a kiss?”

I grinned. “All this talk about having nothing to give, and your gifts are already my favorites.” I said, leaning closer to him.

He wrapped his arms around my neck and himself up, pressing his lips against mine in a shy, but sincere kiss. It might have stayed like that—just an innocent kiss—but I pushed forward. I had to—he tasted like cake and pizza and something else that was sweet and sour and Roxas, and I had to get a better taste of it. And he pushed back, murmuring something that might have been my name but was too muffled to really make out. But then, of course, I had to keep pushing; I'm the competitive sort, you know. And as luck would have it: so was Roxas.

:So we kept kissing harder and harder, and eventually I flipped us over and pressed him into the bed, and his hands wandered down over my chest and up inside my shirt and why was it suddenly so drafty in my room? And then we were both naked and warmer than we'd been with clothes on and closer, closer, closer. And yeah, then we had sex.

Or make love, if you want to get mushy about it—and I do, so shut the fuck up.

And you know how some people describe it as a fire, with an `explosion of white' and all that?

It was so much more than just a plain fire.

It was a smoldering flame in my stomach that flared out to everywhere he touched me and then flickered and spread and licked against my insides and outsides and then an even hotter flame was all around me, encompassing me and emanating from inside me, and it burned so good and oh God oh God oh Roxas ooh—

Okay. The explosion of white is true. But it wasn't just white—well, it was at first, but then other colors fell in around me and there was Roxas, Roxas, Roxas I love you love you love you, too.:

And then the last of my shudders were fading away and I was just able to roll off of him before collapsing onto the bed, and he sighed and curled into my chest.

“Love you.” I whispered, feeling his smile more than seeing it.

“Love you, too.” He whispered back.

But our satiated euphoria was not to last for long.

“In love, are you?”

We both turned to look at Riku, who was leaned against the frame of my bedroom door, a positively murderous expression on his face.

“Happy, too, I suppose?” He asked, his smoldering aquamarine eyes narrowing into feral slits.

“Riku—” I began.

“Shut up, you bastard.” He practically snarled, pushing himself away from the doorframe. “You stupid, heartless bastard. Since when are you entitled to happiness while Sora's still practically dead? Why are you allowed to be happy when my happiness is confined to a hospital bed?”

“Riku, please…”

“Please? PLEASE?!” He shrieked. “Please what, Axel? Please leave you and your fucking whore alone so you can get back to your `love' and `happiness' and fucking? You God damned son of a bitch! I finally start trying to forgive you, start trying to put the blame where it belongs, and you decide to do this? How dare you even consider being happy when Sora…he's…” He shook his head once and tore off down the hallway, his bedroom door shutting behind him with a sharp slam.

“Riku! Riku, wait!” I fell to the floor with a loud thump in my haste to follow after him, pulling on boxers and a shirt as I stumbled to my feet.

“Axel?” Roxas spoke hesitantly.

I hardly glanced at him. “I have to talk to him.” I said, running after Riku.

“Riku? Riku!” I ran into his door, the knob clasped in my hand as I tried futilely to turn it.

“Go away, you asshole!” Came the mostly muffled reply. He had probably buried himself in his pillows; it was an old habit he had apparently never grown out of.

I sighed, frustrated in spite of the fact that he had been like this ever since the accident. I reached into a small niche near Riku's doorway that few knew about, as it was usually concealed behind his open door (he only shut it if he was upset). From it came a small, oddly shaped stick of metal, which I had, when I was younger, shaped to fit into the keyhole to Riku's door. Once upon a time, I had been the only person who could calm him down when he was upset; even Sora hadn't been as good at it as I was.

But that was a long, long time ago.

I unlocked the door, opening it slowly and carefully; I was still inherently wary of flying projectile missiles (and trust me, if you've ever been hit by something an angry Riku has thrown at you, you know an actual missile very nearly pales in comparison).

When nothing came, I threw the door the rest of the way open, practically barreling across the room to Riku's bed. I tore the blankets off his curled up figure, sitting beside him and gathering his now openly weeping form up into my arms. He was nearly too big for it, now, but my arms were abnormally long and even then I didn't care. My baby brother was far more important than my comfort.

“I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry.” I said. My voice was scratchy and garbled thanks to the way my throat had suddenly clogged up. “I'm so stupid, Riku, I'm so stupid. Please, please, please don't be mad. I won't touch him again, I swear.”

“It's not fair.” He sobbed. “Why should you be happy? Sora's…Sora…”

“I'm sorry. I'll make him leave. I won't be happy, if that will make you happy. I promise, I'll never be happy again. I'm so sorry, little brother.”

“Sora will make me happy!” He said, curling into me. “Only Sora.”

“He'll wake up. I'll find a way, Riku. Please don't be sad. Stop crying, shh.”

“How can I not be sad, Axel? He's gone. He's gone, and…and he's not coming back.”

“He isn't dead yet!” I insisted. “How can you say he's gone? There's still hope, Riku! He'll wake up one day, I promise!”

“When, Axel? When he's so withered away that he can't do anything for himself anymore? He'll die if he has to live like that!”

“I promise you'll be happy again someday.” I said firmly. “It'll be okay, Riku. It will.”

“No, it won't! It won't ever be okay again!”

“You have to keep hoping, little brother.” I said, making him look up at me. “I promise—I swear—if there's ever anything I can do, I'll do it. I'll give blood, I'll give up Roxas, I'll die; I'll do anything for you and Sora. I will. Maybe this isn't my fault, and maybe it is, but either way I'll do anything and everything I can to fix it. It will be okay one day. Don't give up on Sora. Please, little brother.”

“But it's so hard.” His cries were softer, now. Was it perverse that he took comfort in the fact that I would give up everything for his happiness?

“I know. I know, but I'm here. Big brother's here, and I'm gonna do everything I can to help. I'll take care of everything.”

He shuddered and collapsed against me in another bout of tears, his previously limp hands reaching up to clutch my shirt. “Why can't I be happy?”

I didn't have an answer for him, so I just let him cry.

 

~*~ENDCHAPTERSIXTEEN~*~

 

A/N: …I apologize for the overall crappiness of my lemon. It's my first one, and I've only ever even written a handful of kiss scenes before, so…yeah, it's rather deplorable. T3T

And before anyone asks: Yes, Riku has been TRYING to get over his belief that Sora's situation is Axel's fault. BUT he hasn't quite gotten over the mentality that it's Axel's fault, and therefore Axel should live in a state of permanent misery, yet. And since this happened so soon after he started trying and Kairi apologized and all that…yeah, he's really upset about it. And you have to admit: if it had been intentional (or if they'd stopped to think about it for a minute and continued regardless of the repercussions), it would've been a really shitty thing to do.