Loveless Fan Fiction ❯ Why and the Song on the radio ❯ Why and the Song on the Radio ( Chapter 1 )

 

 

-Why and the song on the radio-

 

Disclaimer: I don't own Loveless I own…my Halloween costume? And Santa…..okay …uh…just read now (:

 

 

 

Ritsuka walked into his home and shut the door softly, then leaned his small frame on the entrance, the area dark eerie and isolated, the only simple light reflecting dully off the wooden floors, and the kitchen curtains fluttering about carelessly as the wind tempered with it.

 

Silence.

 

He was standing at the entrance of his home, his dark soft hair covering his tender and innocent face. If some one were to look closely, clear tear paths were shown, but…no one ever noticed…or cared, or if they did care…they always hurt him day by day…. He carefully locked the door; the clicking noise seemed to echo in the narrow hallway and up the long dark staircase. His fingers clutching the doorknob as if he was asking it for support, anything would do; he bit his pink lips and held in a sob that was threatening at the tip of his vocals. He brought a small hand up to his mouth and his black zipper-like jacket slid slowly down his soft skin on his forearm.

 

Why did he always hurt him like this?

Why did you do this to me?

Why do I still think of you?

Why can't I get rid of you?

 

It was always why never a stable answer.

 

Ritsuka listened closely to see if his `mother' was home, his shadowy fuzzy like cat tips giving a sort of flick from his messy, soft, nest of hair; as any disruption was heard, he had to do this every once in a while…for protection…even his mother hated him.

 

The boy suddenly chuckled to him self, putting his arm down from his streaming face and sniffed lightly. His face still hidden, but his emotion clear `What mother?' he tried to chuckle once more and put an arm up to his pale face to clean away the water…the sorrow, but instead a sob was emitted into the dark halls…echoing his reality. His hand slowly left the cold metal doorknob and steadily he went up the stairs, to the only place he could be safe…his room.

 

`Why don't I remember…?'

 

His feet making not a sound, as they hit the old stairs, it took practice to get it right and not hit the creaks but he finaly did it. `I'm such a fool…' Ritsuka thought as yet another fake smile was placed about his lips. His arms pulling them self's up the railing attached to the dark walls. His hands and fingers touching the familiar texture of the railing as he continued to think...

 

`To go to all this trouble just to hide from my own mother…the person who gave…me…' he paused on the steps suddenly and it gave a creak, his brilliant violet pools were finally revealed and dazed. His circulars held more pain and seemed to be swimming in a world of confusion… `Gave…me…' strands of hair fell in backwards lightly as his he tipped back his head to look at the ceiling. Tears started to gather in the tips of his young bright eyes, tears of sadness and anger… `Gave me this life…' He choked another sob and clasped a hand to his mouth quickly, purple orbs wide and the tears dropped.

 

Ritsuka stomped up the stairs in a rush to get to his only safe place, his extended cat-like tail waving frequently as his long legs took lengthy strides up the old wooden stair way, his tight blue jeans making it a tad difficult. He finally made it to his room and slammed the door hurried. The booming noise even startled him, as he noticed his cat tips were now flattened safely to his head. The sun was weaving into his room and casting its light- shadows about on his floor.

 

Ritsuka panted and his heart started to gain pace and beat hard in his chest, not from the running but from fear…what if his mother was home? He had made so much noise. He waited a few moments before moving when he realized that his mother was not home…good. He walked slowly to his desk, his tips slowly coming up from hiding; the sunlight beating happily onto his desk…it was dusk.

 

The window was open and the pale curtains still played… `Soubi…' No he mustn't think about that liar…that man…that…warm embrace and that kiss… “UUG!” Ritsuka snarled out and pounded his fist on the table, his eyes closed tightly and shaking …his hand clenching tightly into a ball and twitching irritated like.

 

The bump's vibration caused a few things on his desk to roll on the floor or lift out of place; it caused his alarm radio to turn on. It was fuzzy for a couple of seconds and then stabilized. The boy sighed and dragged his hand off the desk, his lavender pools opening slowly as the dusk sunlight hit his face and reflected off his clear tinted eyes… “Soubi…” he said it softly and took off his black coat letting it drop to the floor carelessly, the matter dragging on the tip of his tail, until he angrily noticed and tossed it off. `I wonder what it would be like to loose this tail of mine…' he thought. “What. NO! Ugg what am I doing…” Ritsuka talked to him self and sighed. He smacked his forehead and smiled nervously, his orbs softening. “Why do you do this to me…Soubi.”

 

Ritsuka walked to his bed and threw himself on the soft matter; the bed spread flickering and shrouded a cast around his tiny frame. His face stuffed in the pillow, his arms crossed under it and his feet hanging off the edge of the bed. His white shirt seemed to have ridden up exposing soft looking flesh and the sleek slimness of his body. Just as a cat would do, his long fury tail whisked about in the air. Waving steadily.

 

He moved his head to the window, his eyes had softened but still had pain flowing inside of them, a few strands of his tinted colored hair slid softly down his meek face as he narrowed his bright eyes to see the cell-phone Soubi had given him…he growled and closed his eyes, his brows curving in anger.

 

Why…

 

The radio suddenly started to play and his eyes flashed open in fear, only to note that it was only the emitting sounds of the announcer talking. He sighed and closed his eyes once more, the wind drifting in from the window and patting on his exposed skin, causing a chill to come up. He groaned and ignored it, silently listening to the song that was playing; he hadn't heard this one before…he slowly lifted his lids once more to listen to the sounds. It was soft at first with the first sound of the woman's voice, it sounded so clear, so pure and understanding…he listened carefully.

 

Sparkling angel I believe
You were my savior in my time of need.

 

Ritsuka began to think, Soubi looked like an angel, with his beautiful golden hair, so light and soft…and he did save him from complete and utter darkness from his mother. No! Why was he thinking of Soubi yet again? It didn't matter if he comforted him when his mother was rash…Soubi only made him hurt more! Ritsuka tilted his head again on his pillow, his cheek planted softly on the feathery matter and he listened some more…

 

Blinded by faith I couldn't hear
All the whispers, the warnings so clear.

 

That's right…Ritsuka was to blind to see what the consequences of this `love' would be as the blond man would say… `Love'. Ritsuka didn't see all the bad things since Soubi comforted him from his dark and unknown past, he was so busy feeding on the loving attention that his heart ached for…he didn't see anything…but it was so clear! He even hinted at the warnings when Soubi called him `master' a relationship shouldn't have a master and a follower that wasn't right! Well, at least healthy couples… `So does that mean Soubi and I are a.a…couple?' Ritsuka groaned and sighed an irritated sound as he came to reality, `an UNHEALTHY couple…' Ritsuka continued to listen to the lyrics of the song and the clarity of the woman's voice…

 

I see the angels;
I'll lead them to your door.

The small boy let his cat tips flicker as they continued to hear the heartfelt lyrics pouring from the small speakers of the radio and shifted his small form a bit on his bed uneasy about how this song could match his feelings and continued to match the pure voiced wordings to things that were similar.

 

There's no escape now,
No mercy no more.

 

The boy grunted at those words…after the first kiss he was given by the blond, tall man sealed the deal, there was no getting out of it now… Ritsuka flushed, a small pink coloring came to the bridge of his nose and eyes starting to hold more pain. He clutched at the bed's silky sheets below his stuffed pillow. `No mercy no more…huh…' That must be the thoughts of Soubi and his feelings. A game…Anger now started to pound in his chest as he listened.

No remorse cause I still remember

 

That's right! He shouldn't feel for this man he hurt him, yeah this song was right…. no more pain over some person who would only tamper with his feelings.

 

The smile when you tore me apart.

 

Ritsuka had to smile lightly as he heard this part…he loved Soubi's smile, he loved the way it fluttered slowly across his full, lush, warm lips but sometimes, his smile was heartbreaking…like when he lied…which made his smile so much harder to see when ever it was truly `pure' but, was it ever true?

 

Deceived me right from the start.
You showed me dreams,
I wished they'd turn into real.
You broke a promise and made me realize.
It was all just a lie.

 

Ritsuka's violet pools opened as the music started to increase in beat and tempo, the words even more apparent and accurate. The more the boy thought of it, the more it was true…Ritsuka clenched the sheets once more, the soft material lingering in his fingers as he slowly sat up his small frame, the white shirt tickling back down his body and down his flat stomach. He sighed and crossed his long legs, his denim blue jeans stretching across.

 

Soubi did show him dreams…and he did wish they would be real… Ritsuka's hand threw the sheets down and they fluttered to his legs and draped along them, he lifted both hands to his face and cupped it, the tips of his fingers touching the smooth tinted hair but both cat tips listening.

 

Sparkling angel, I couldn't see
Your dark intentions, your feelings for me.

 

“Why was I so stupid? Why couldn't I see that…you had no feelings for me…” Ritsuka stated aloud his hands muffling his voice but it was still clear, with confusion and was still heard as the radio sustained. The music played on and the sheets from the bed slowly began to fall from his lap to the floor, the sheets flailing as the wind from the window picked up the light and translucent material.

 

Fallen angel, tell me why?
What is the reason, the thorn in your eye?

The hurt boy parted his slender fingers that were near his eye so he could look threw them like a window. These lyrics…it sounded as if…someone far were to ask him this question…who and always…why.

 

 

I see the angels,
I'll lead them to your door
There's no escape now
No mercy no more
No remorse cause I still remember

 

The tempo was slowed and still clear as the woman singing the song was heard. Ritsuka dropped his hands slowly from his small face, dragging them along his soft skin. `Is this really my face? Or…' His fingers continued their trail on the features down his face, his nose…then his lips. `Or the face of a stranger…?' his slender fingers took their resting spot on his parted lips. His tail moving slowly underneath the remaining silky sheets, causing bumps and creases to appear on the bed. Even though many thoughts still lingered in his mind, he was still listening intently on the song.

 

The smile when you tore me apart
You took my heart,
Deceived me right from the start.
You showed me dreams,
I wished they turn into real.
You broke a promise and made me realize.
It was all just a lie.

 

His hands went back up to his emotionless face, though his unique orbs were full of emotion, his fingers parted themselves from the rest as it came to his eyes, so he could once more look threw them, he then slid them to his hair and brushed it back softly, strands and strings of fine hair fanning then falling back into place, his dark tips tweaking as a few of the hair pieces tickled them… `Ears are a hassle aren't they maybe I should get rid of them…?' Ritsuka finally let some emotion spring into his face, his lips parting to have a grin climb up his boyish face as he thought it with more detail… “They hear evil…listen to rubbish…and listen to lies, right at this moment they were taking in information from this song…giving me ideas, the truth…but is it really true?” his soft voice rang threw his room clearly, even as the music was playing. He put his hands back in his lap and squeezed them together, the stress turning his knuckles white as they clashed into a ball. His lids closing leisurely his shoulders tensed…he would listen, it was true…

 

Could have been forever.
Now we have reached the end.

 

Cat ears tweaked to these lines of lyrics as his eyes were relaxed and sealed, “Heh. Hear that Soubi…it's the end…Forever…. Could…ha.a.ve…” His voice was cracking as tears gathered in his eyes, his lashes gathering some of its salty water he couldn't hold it in, sobs came from his vocals and his hand lifted to cup his mouth, part of his small delicate hand covering his nose and his soft eyes fluttered open as the beat continued and his voice just came pouring out `If you hadn't kept hurting me…lying to me about…l..o…ve…and…and…why…did you break me more?” more hot tears streamed out of his lavender tinted shaded eyes as he closed them. More choking sobs were heard as he cried into the part of his hand. His frame hunched over on his bed, still crossed legged…the sun still leaked into his bedroom… as the window was still open and the curtains still.

 

This world may have failed you,
It doesn't give you a reason why.
You could have chosen a different path in life.

 

Now, something that was not true in the song…he didn't have a choice, his path was already chosen…he had already lost his memories there was no point…but maybe if…no there was no possible way that he could have that kind of choice that kind of luxury that kind of savior.

 

The smile when you tore me apart.
You took my heart,
Deceived me right from the start.
You showed me dreams,
I wished they turn into real.
You broke the promise and made me realize.
It was all just a lie.
Could have been forever.
Now we have reached the end.

The song came to an end with its story and it faded, as did the light in his window. The radio was silent for a while, as he didn't pay any more attention. He just sobbed pulling his knees up to his warm and helpless body, and rested his head between them in a way. His arms were hugging tightly at his long legs, his messy hair draping along the sides of his teary face and his blue jeans. He gripped his elbows hard, as his sobbing got worse, no voice but just chokes of clear pain…hiccupping and getting stuck in his voice box.

 

“I'm useless…all I do is fill air…cause my mother pain…” He continued to talk, though his voice muffled from his legs and usually sturdy. “I…wa..s probably a …burden for Soubi too…all he got to do… was l..ist..en to me …be stupid, I couldn't…couldn't… even be a proper sacrifice…” He shifted his head to let his cheek rest on part of his leg; they were red from crying and stained with road paths of tears. “Seimei… just… ordered you to look after me, It was probably a..a real hassle to …look after some one like me…” He swallowed hard and his eyes were clouded…with hate…for himself. The sobbing and choking stopped as he sniffed his boyish cheeks stinging from the salt of his tears and flushed.

 

He let a mysterious grin crawl up his mouth and parted his lips to speak…in a low tone that was un-like him self “I would hate to look after me too.” There was no emotion to it, but an eerie clash…and his pools dazed.

 

He let his legs slide down the length of the bed, the white sheets curling as his feet hit them, his shoulders dropped and his hands slid across the silk to rest behind him. Ritsuka slowly lifted his head to stare into nothingness. Nothingness…and his velvet soft hair ran down. His shaded cat tips pointed upwards to the ceiling as his body seemed to freeze, a sad smile was on his face and his extended tail brushed through the sheets once more…he was gone…gone into his own world and then more tears gathered. “Sorry Mother…and even you too…Soubi.” He started a sickening chuckle for only a few moments…that only turned into whines and pain. “He..lp…me..”

 

With that the arms gave away and his small back smashed onto the bed, his shirt riding up his skin again as his body seemed to be falling from a very high place, then his head fall back…his soft hair spreading on the bed and his porcelain face pale with the stains of pain imprinted on his once innocent face.

 

--

 

Soubi did it again…he was covered in warm sticky blood, dyed of a pure crimson, his white long sleeved shirt torn and ripped, the fabric on its seams and inches from being tattered, he was grasping his left arm, and his limp was clear…as he walked down the dark, cold and tiled side walk, with his very long legs, his black pants had cuts in them, that looked like it was from some knife or a razor…the wound there looked deep. The sun had set about two hours ago…Soubi just noticed as he stopped on the side and looked up, his glasses reflecting the light of the streetlights.

 

Ritsuka was going to be furious again. Soubi only put on a half hearted smile as he continued his painful journey…he winced as the throbbing in the leg was immense, it stung…with a great deal, but he had been through worse. He closed his clear, crystal blue pools and continued to walk to his destination. His hand gripping the limp arm “Ritsuka forgive me.” He whispered out from his lips and his breath was shown in the cold air.

 

He panted and hissed with pain as he stomped the wrong way on his crushed leg, his eyes squeezed tight, sure he had been threw worse, but, it hurt non the less. His long fair blond hair moved in time with his walking. By the time he reached Ritsuka's house, it seemed still…not warm like it should be, and the front door was wide open, wavering lightly as the wind had picked it up, the hinges on the door did not make a sound since Ritsuka took the time to oil them. Soubi's brow lowered in worry this was very unusual since his crazed `mother' was absolutely careful with every thing…especially the front door. Soubi sucked up all the pain and ran threw the front door, seeing a mess, plates smashed…crushed vases, a turned over table and a trail of utensils going up the stairs?

 

No…it couldn't be!

 

“Ritsuka?!” his deep voice called out, in obvious terror his untainted aqua blue eyes wide in worry as the rest of the house was in ruins, he ran up the stairs ignoring his pain and the feeling of cuts re opening themselves with the warm oozing blood trickling down his skin.

 

He reached the door, which was closed tightly and not a sound emitted from it…knife marks on the wood scissored their way down the solid. He counted six knifes on the door all had scrapped their way down the wood, the remains of some of the wood pointing out. Soubi's heart increased and his hand hurried to open Ritsuka's door. He barged it open, his flawless hair trailing behind him… and his heart fell…the room was a mess…torn, broken… he stood in shock. “Ritsuka?” He called out, not even able to get his tongue to work as his breath was caught in his throat. He looked around the room and saw nothing…but tatters of blood everywhere in a trail that looked to be a struggle to get away from someone…and Ritsuka's shirt…it looked to be white but he couldn't tell as it too was covered in the crimson dye. The moon coasted about in the cold room, its light disturbing. Soubi felt like he would just die, he couldn't explain the emotion…it was just painful.

 

The tall man let his quivering cerulean eyes trail along the room as he saw the curtains tied, and it too was stained with…blood. It looked as if someone had used it to get down, and it smeared fading…as if the person fell. Soubi ran to the window, which the glass from it, had shattered into tiny bits and left particles on the floor. His hands clasped down at the frame of the window sill and he looked down, his blond hair trailing from behind his pierced ear and near his distressed face. Yes. Some one had certainly fallen…Soubi cursed under his shaky breath and knew there was no time, he threw his great legs over the broken and detached sill and pushed him self out Ritsuka's bedroom window.

 

The pain shivered up his leg and into his spine as he landed gracefully, he didn't seem to care at the moment and ran as fast as his powerful legs would take him, his pale hair shaking as the wind tampered with the long locks and his breath visible on this cold…and horrible night.

 

The clues were everywhere as Soubi continued to run, his keen lucid orbs picking up every trail, he panted lightly as he was determined to find Ritsuka, his heart hoping it was not to late. His leg was numbing up and swelling to the force he was putting on it, and his arm, well, he didn't even notice that since it was not as bad as his leg.

 

His nose picked up the scent of water…the swamp. He turned swiftly on his legs, even if one was slow, it didn't matter, and Ritsuka, he needed him right now.

 

Soubi ran through some low trees, their branches scratching at his exposed and already dirtied skin, it leaving more cuts and scars. One of the trees caught his rounded glasses and they fluttered to the ground, the moonlight mirroring off them as they smashed when they came in contacted with the muddy terrain. Soubi kept running, he saw rips and shreds of cotton on some of the dark branches.

 

Ritsuka's shirt.

 

There he was…laying face down, his cheek pressed against the filthy swampy area, on the cold ground his hand near the icy water, and just the tips of the fingers were near the fluid. His face covered in mud…and blood. His eyes were closed shut and his hair in a mess full of stains of everything… Soubi spent no time in running to the boy. He knelt down, ignoring the throb of his leg, and ignoring the fact that his body was telling to stop. He lifted up Ritsuka, his body was so cold…Soubi's heat ran cold and his heart wanted to stop. “Ritsuka…Ritsuka…” he called out, his mouth dry and his usual dark tinted eyes crystallized with tears.

 

No…he couldn't loose him too, the only reason he fought without Ritsuka was so that he would never get hurt, or feel pain…but he failed. “Ritsuka!!” He cried out in distress and sorrow and through his head down to Ritsuka's, desperate to hear the voice, to feel a breath, anything. His blond hair covering them both, he paused unable to think, his mind stopped, his body frozen, his face close to Ritsuka's…he felt a breath come from the boys mouth and, his clear pools widened. “Ritsuka?” he called out softly once more, he was afraid that if he talked anymore his deep calm voice would loose it.

 

There was no time. Soubi picked up Ritsuka, his arm stinging as he lifted the boy into his protective arms, like wings…even if one was broken it would still protect, and some day be able to fly…he was an angel.

 

Ritsuka's guardian, fighter…lover…

 

He ran, no thoughts, no emotion; he just knew one thing and one thing only `get to Kio's house now and fast' no pain and no mistakes. Soubi's orbs were hard and clouded, he was going to make it, he; was going to help his Ritsuka no matter the costs. Flawless legs continuing threw the swamp, his feet stamping hard on the terrain and gracefully making perfect steps, he then got to the sidewalk to the city, his breath not even hitching as his wound opened more and his skin stretching up as the wound was throbbing deeper and deeper.

 

--

 

Ritsuka awoke, his vision blurred as his brilliant violet eyes were once again exposed. He groaned as he felt a sharp pain in his neck and back. `Where am I?' he wondered as he realized that this was not his room…let alone his house, the sent was different and his ears tweaked to some people talking.

 

He blinked his pools again and his sight cleared to see Soubi looking down at him. His heart fluttered in relief and…in pain. He saw Soubi had his strong arm in a sling and had a couple of bandages around his leg. Ritsuka really didn't know why he was here, until, he remembered…his mother…tears started to group in his eyes as he looked at Soubi, the one that had hurt him, the one who always lied…but the one who cared for him, whether it was fake or not, all that really mattered that someone was there. He felt the warm tears run down his cheeks as some more flashes came to mind. “Soub…I..” he called out cutely and his voice unstable.

 

Soubi seemed to be holding a breath in as he sighed loudly and dropped to his knees near the bed. It sounded like it hurt, since it was a rather loud sound. The man then looked to Ritsuka with worried eyes…loving eyes and smiled great-fully before speaking. “I'm sorry.” The boy said nothing but lifted a weak arm to touch Soubi's soft and delicate skin, his fingers curled around the soft blond hair, then trailed down his face…to his lips. He watched Soubi's lips with a hint and his bright lively pools came back to life…as long as he had Soubi and as long as they had time, it would work, all relationships are unstable at one point, and if no relation has a fight then it can't improve right?

 

Well, with all the fights they seemed to get…their relationship should last…forever.

 

Soubi chuckled lightly to himself and watched Ritsuka's soft lavender eyes with his bright ones. He stood up and watched the porcelain face of Ritsuka, lost in his wonders, and grateful that he was still alive.

 

Someone very impatient had pulled Soubi down by his long smooth hair. Slender fingers entwining in the silky hair, His mouth lightly fell and pecked the other boy's soft pink lips. The touch of warms lips swelling as things were starting to clear. He could feel the hand on his hair tightening and pulling down harder, Soubi needed no other hint and deepened his kiss, his mouth now nipping the others, caressing them softly with his own, and his eyes shut.

 

Ritsuka responded back just as eagerly, lusting for more of Soubi's sugarcoated kisses. Soubi's tongue slipped out of his hot mouth and licked at Ritsuka's tender ones eagerly, lovingly and tauntingly. He didn't even need to lick again as Ritsuka fully obeyed and opened his mouth for the other to enter, it was affectionate and hot.

 

A flush started to form on his face, the redness dancing across his nose as Soubi probed deeper into his moist cavern, leisurely and started to flutter around, licking at the roof of his mouth then started to play with Ritsuka's, both mouths attached in a loving embrace. Ritsuka couldn't help but moan at the feeling as Soubi was continuing to give his heat and he brought both arms up to pull Soubi closer and to hold him…Soubi did love him…he came for him when he was all the way in the swamp…he was there…for him…forever.

 

 

--

 

(A/N) Woot… I wrote this Loveless story in only about 50 minuets, it was an idea I had when I heard the song `Angels, Within Temptation…and yeah. Tell me what you think on this one-shot…Oh and sorry for the errors, but…it was just a quickie that I wanted to share (: