Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Call Me Selfish ❯ I'm With Stupid ( Chapter 2 )

Call Me Selfish

 

Disclaimers: I do not own Naruto. If I did own Naruto I wouldn't have to write annoying disclaimers- now would I?

 

I have a horrible headache… yeah. So sorry if this chapter sucks or whatnot.

 

LAST TIME ON CALL ME SELFISH

 

Naruto smiled gleefully at both of his comrades entering as skillfully late as Kakashi himself did.

 

“Our mission today is at the town of Hante in the outskirts of Leaf territory.”

 

“There was recently an incident where two young boys accidentally came upon an abandoned shinobi training ground. Due to the ramifications of such an incident, it's only logical that the people of Hante would like to have the seals on the ground permanently removed.”

 

“It would be a shame to have to remove the seals without giving it one last test run.”

 

“How come I've never heard of Hante before? Do they ask for missions often?”

 

“No. They never ask for any help from the Shinobi.”

 

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Chapter Two:

I'm With Stupid

 

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“As to diseases, make a habit of two things- to help, or at least, to do no harm.”

-Hippocrates

xxx

 

A crowd had accumulated around the lake basin, all of which wore dark garments and handkerchiefs covered over their mouth. Their lord told them that doing such would keep the demons from devouring their soul.

 

The people all watched indifferently as such a demon was dragged, shrieking and wailing, by her hair to the lake's edge.

 

Their lord, a man of orange jagged locks and stern unmoving constitution, led the progression while his two most loyal body guards dragged the woman by her ebony locks to water's edge. They threw her forward, her nose nearly embracing the water, leaving her bent low and humble before her lord.

 

He looked up to the crowd and held out his arms for silence. Handkerchiefs were kept firmly in place. Their lord was the only one with a strong enough soul to withstand this woman's evil aurora.

 

“My fellow people,” their lord began. It was a humble beginning- as to lower himself to their state of mind. To make them think he was at their level- that he understood them. It was a perfect beginning. “This witch has shown time and time again her wickedness. She has killed two fine boys from our village and has gone against us time and time again. To prove without a doubt- we shall sink her in this river. If she shall float than she be a witch- and we will then burn her at the day's end.”

 

There was a chorus of sound agreement. The woman did not move. One could only speculate what was going on in her mind. It was possibly the thought that perhaps she should find a way to anchor herself at the lake's bottom. Burning was far worse than a death by drowning.

 

The guard's grabbed her again, her hair a tangled mess from all the yanking and grabbing. They held her up by her armpits- careful not to touch any of her contaminated clothes- her plain garments of brown and tan. Not much different from common clothes worn by other women in the clan. But from now on they were contaminated. Forever more, while she still lived, she was a witch.

 

“I shall give you a moment to pray,” The lord said, looking her in the eyes as if unsure she understood true language anymore.

 

The woman only hung her head, waiting for the evitable.

 

But just before tossing the woman in the lake, a sudden scream released through the air. It came from the opposite side of the lake- where the dark trees obscured vision. A scream of a boy- followed by a resounding splash.

 

“The demons!” a voice in the crowd whispered loudly, “The woman has unleashed the demons upon us!!”

 

xxx

 

“Oh,” Kakashi landed on a branch just before the clearing. The genin and one chuunin landed silently at his side. A lake stretched out before them and beyond the lake laid a quaint almost primitive looking village.

 

“Hey,” Naruto began, noticing all the people gather by the water. “What's with their clothes?”

 

Sasuke squinted a peek over Naruto's shoulder, the boy being rather hoggish of the view. Sakura, on the other hand, had a far better view than either of them- having landed on the branch above their heads. “They are all wearing black. It must be the funeral for those two boys.”

 

Kakashi let out a small sigh and rubbed his brow. “I wish it were that. I suppose we were a bit too late.”

 

“Too late for what, Kakashi-sensei?” Naruto asked curiously. Sasuke spotted the woman being dragged forward first. He gripped the branch and if possible, his frown grew deeper.

 

“Are they going to kill that woman?” He asked gaining both a stunned look from his two comrades. Kakashi only nodded.

 

“Yes. That woman was our contact.”

 

“We should save her then,” Sakura snapped whipping out two kunai from her pouch. Naruto followed suit by preparing to leap, but Kakashi merely touched Naruto's shoulder and shook his head.

 

“We are not allowed to get in other village affairs. The woman contacted us to remove seals not protect her. We have no business here.”

 

“That's stupid!” Naruto said, almost a bit too loudly.

 

“That's the rule,” Sasuke recited beside him, “Naruto, are you really so stupid to not know that? You haven't changed at all, you big dobe.”

 

Kakashi's eyebrow rose slightly in almost what could be called amusement. He saw through Sasuke's taunt. His team did not notice him though.

 

“Sasuke, don't tease Naruto,” scolded Sakura, waving a finger at him. “You'll just make him do something stupid.”

 

“Why is everyone calling me stupid?! I'm not stupid!!!” Naruto barked just to get both Sasuke's and Kakashi's hand slapped over his mouth. They shushed him in unison, Sakura just rolling her eyes.

 

Naruto grumbled and bat their hands away. The woman was at the water's edge now. Naruto watched helpless as they lifted her up to throw her in.

 

And then he got a malicious idea. Naruto turned his gaze over to Sasuke who sat seemingly entranced by the show. Then as discrete as was possible, for Naruto, Naruto kicked out his leg.

 

It would have worked fine, had Sasuke not moved. And it would have been overlooked if Sasuke hadn't pushed Naruto's head forward after the kick he had been anticipating. His kick had put Naruto off balance, and all Sasuke needed to do was apply pressure to the back of Naruto's head, and the boy was off the branch.

 

The three ninja's winced as Naruto wailed his head off and fell with a large cannonball splash into the icy waters below.

 

“Well,” Kakashi smiled from beneath his face mask so that his eyes sparkled with mirth. “Guess they heard that.”

 

Sasuke merely grinned back at their team leader. Sakura was far less amused. “Sasuke! You just gave away our position!” She snapped before rounding on Kakashi. “That's not funny, Kakashi-sensei.”

 

“Yes, it is.” Both ninja replied.

 

xxx

 

Damn that Sasuke, thought Naruto bitterly as he chugged through the bitter cold waters. He knew that if he emerged out from where he fell he would be greeted by the laugher of his teammates. So he tried to swim away from there before he emerged.

 

Coughing slightly, Naruto glared back at the shade of trees where his team sat. He could almost see Kakashi's white hair looking like a shimmer of sunlight in the leaves. They made no attempt to come after him. Which meant they wanted him to go ahead. Naruto grinned at the thought and pulled himself up on top of the water.

 

It was a simple matter for a ninja to walk across the water- at least a ninja of higher levels. All such a shinobi would have to do would be to concentrate a focused amount of charka to their feet and walk. Sure it took Naruto several days to get the technique right but now such things were child's play.

 

Naruto strutted across the water as naturally as if it were ground and made his way over to the other side of the lake. At this point he had the entire attention of the congregation.

 

“Hey hey,” Naruto said as he was in ear shot. “Let go of that lady!”

 

The guards obeyed quickly backing away from the supposed witch. The woman- who, at first, seemed just a terrified of Naruto as the rest of the village- noticed the insignia on his hitai-ate and suddenly found herself smiling.

 

“Don't listen to him!” The lord grabbed hold of the woman by her arm and pulled her close against him. She didn't struggle, like normal people might, and only smiled, entranced, as Naruto walked across the water's surface towards them.

 

“I shall kill her if you take another step, Warlock,” the lord said drawing out a knife and holding it to her bare neck. It was then that the woman's face lost some color.

 

“Don't be a fool,” the lord stated again when Naruto had not yet stopped moving. He pressed the blade against her throat- drawing only a few drops of blood.

 

Naruto stopped.

 

Ripples simmered out from where he stood on the water, in mere reaching distance of the lord. The crowd was drawing away, apprehension and fear of Naruto etched on their faces.

 

Naruto merely crossed his arms. “Baka genai. I'm not a warthog!”

 

There was a sudden and very awkward silence. The group stood perplexed at Naruto's bold yet confusing words. Then lord spoke again, “I said warlock, not warthog.”

 

Naruto bit his lip and drew in another breath before shouting loudly, “Whatever the hell you said. I'm not one of those.”

 

The woman was starting to pale more. Had they really taken her request so trifle that they would send a moron to Hante? They had said that one ninja could remove the seals but she had thought they said they would send a team.

 

“If you are not a warlock then why do you walk on water, boy?” snapped the Lord impatiently.

 

Naruto glared at the man- his blue eyes piercing into the man's dark ones. Then he said quite the unexpected-

 

“What's a warlock?”

 

If the lord had been in better circumstances he would have laughed. Some members around him were snickering and even his hostage, who was supposed to be paralyzed with fear, cracked a wry smile.

 

He was quite done with this little demon. He pushed the woman into the nearest guard and grabbed on to the boy's wrist. Naruto, not anticipating such a reaction, was pulled clear off the water. He found himself quickly surrounded by a whole village- their original fear of him quickly changing into fury.

 

“This boy is merely a baby demon. We were able to beat the witch of most of her powers- she has only managed to summon a child,” said the Lord with certain triumphant. “If we kill him, there will be no one else to save the witch.”

 

Naruto looked bored, to say the least. But at the mention of him being a baby demon- both his and the kyuubi's charka sparked angrily.

 

“Hey hey!” Naruto protested, yanking his hand free. “I am not a damn baby. I'm almost sixteen years old, dumbass.”

 

The lord spread a wicked grin on his face. His teeth looked almost shark like. “Still a baby,” he said.

 

Naruto thrust a index finger forward, mere centimeters from the man's nose. “What is your name, bastard?”

 

The lord's face went unphazed. “Such language,” He hissed. “Your last request is to hear your vanquisher's name? So be it. My name is Kyros-sama.”

 

“I am Uzumaki Naruto,” said Naruto with an equally wicked grin curling from the corners of his mouth. “And I shall be your vanquisher, old man.”

 

The man drew back, dark kimono rustling as he brought down his blade towards Naruto's chest. He didn't notice Naruto's hands moving. Nor did he feel the surges of charka coating the air. But he did hear, just as his blade was to strike, Naruto shouting a curious phrase.

 

“Sexy-no-jutsu!!”

 

xxx

 

“Holy sh-!”

 

Both Sasuke and Sakura were both stunned to hear Kakashi nearly curse. And was even more bewildered to hear him start laughing. It wasn't his typical quiet chuckling but more so of a version of Naruto's laughter. Loud and very un-ninja like of him.

 

“Who taught him that move?” Kakashi asked, wiping a tear from his eye and casting a look over to Sasuke who had gone a fair shade of pink.

 

Truth be told, he had all but forgotten Naruto had used that against Iruka-sensei several years ago. Back then it didn't phase him. But now, being nearly seventeen years old, such a technique was rather powerful. “He made it up,” Sasuke said simply, averting his gaze and looking down at the lake.

 

“It worked,” said Sakura dully as half the village fell over with bloody noses. They guessed the sight of a naked woman was far too much for the little `pure' society.

 

Naruto transformed back with a slight pop, the woman he had intended to save was looking at him in a mixture of disgust and admiration. He had taken out all of the men in her village with a mere illusion of a naked woman. The other women and children in the crowd were left confused, caring for their men. He had done it. He had saved her single handedly.

 

Were all Konoha's shinobi this eccentric?

 

“Okay! Let's go!” Naruto said taking her by the wrist and pulling her after him.

 

But someone had grabbed his ankle. Naruto stumbled slightly and looked down as the Kyros-sama clung onto him, his nose still gushing blood.

 

“You little brat,” Kyros hissed angrily. “I'll kill you.”

 

Naruto merely grinned down at him. “Kill a demon? Unlikely.”

 

He pulled his ankle free just as two kunai went flying past his head. Instinctively he ducked and looked around just to see a man who had been sneaking up behind him collapse, the kunai wedged in his shoulder blades.

 

Sakura and Sasuke landed a few feet away, their appearance announced only by the hissing wind. Kakashi landed on a nearby roof symbolizing his influence over his team.

 

Naruto groaned loudly at their grand entrance. Sasuke rose a dark eyebrow in response. “You should be thanking us, not groaning.”

 

“Yeah. Sure. You waited until the last possible second to come help me. Thanks a lot,” Naruto growled.

 

“You seemed to be handling it very well,” Kakashi said surveying the damage. “We didn't want to interrupt.”

 

“Hentai!” Sakura accused. Naruto merely shrugged, his cheeks only slightly pink.

 

“It worked, didn't it?”

 

“Yes, very well,” Kakashi grinned, his face mask still hiding his features. “You are, by far, the most unpredictable person, Naruto-kun.”

 

“I'll say,” said the woman who the Shinobi just rescued with a hint of amazement in her voice. “I'll treasure these memories forever.”

 

xxx

 

It was quite easy to get out of Hante after Naruto's display. Once they were safely in the woods again, they camped momentarily. The woman decided to use this time to introduce herself to her savior ninjas.

 

“My name is Vondila,” said the woman, running her fingers through her disheveled hair. “I can't thank you enough for saving me.”

 

“Don't mention it,” Kakashi smiled roughly putting a heavy hand on Naruto's head so he knew not to respond. “I'm Kakashi. Their superior jounin. Sakura is our chuunin ninja. And Naruto and Sasuke are genin.”

 

Vondila shook her head, not very familiar with ninja terminology. “So… Naruto-kun is the weakest of you?” she asked pointedly.

 

Naruto flushed pink with irritation at the mere suggestion of being the weaker than Sasuke but Kakashi's mouth was faster than Naruto's for once.

 

“Jounin, chuunin, and genin are ranks. They don't always determine true strength.”

 

“Oh. Okay,” Vondila nodded, although she wasn't totally sure she understood completely.

 

“Besides,” Kakashi smiled matting Naruto's blonde hair almost playfully, “Naruto and Sasuke were delayed because of special circumstances.”

 

Naruto's face darkened slightly. Sasuke avoided his eye- and instead looked to Sakura who was all too eager to change the subject.

 

“So there are no ninjas in your village, Vondila-san?”

 

“No,” admitted the young woman. “Very few of us know about the Ninjas in Konoha. It is against the way of Kyros-sama to know such things.”

 

There was a brief silence, Naruto merely grumbling about stupid old bastards, when Sakura spoke up again.

 

“Vondila-san,” Sakura asked curiously. “Why did your village try to kill you?”

 

Vondila sighed, running her fingers through her black hair one last time. She looked a bit older at the mention of the incident that afternoon- even though Naruto thought she could only be a few years his elder. She reminded Naruto of a female Haku- although Haku wasn't very far from being a female himself.

 

The thought of Haku made Naruto's heart hurt so he pushed the boy's memory back out of his mind.

 

“They accused me of killing the two boys,” She didn't give them time to respond to such a distasteful act. “One of the boys was my little brother. Our parents had died of an illness the previous year. So they assumed I must have been playing with witchcraft and sentenced me to death.”

 

Naruto did not understand. “What do you mean, witchcraft?” he asked, unfamiliar with the term.

 

“Like bad magic, Naruto,” Sakura hissed in annoyance at his typical ignorant nature. “Or evil charka, be that what it may.”

 

“Or the summoning of demons,” said Kakashi simply. Naruto tried not to flinch at the word. No one noticed.

 

“Uh yes,” Vondila nodded, turning her dark eyes from one ninja to the next. “It's obvious I won't be able to return to my village. But I am hoping you will still be able to remove the seals on that cave.”

 

“Are you sure it was seals that hurt those boys?” said Naruto, with an inane flash of reason. “I mean, you aren't really familiar with ginjustu or ninjustu. Perhaps someone attacked them.”

 

Kakashi patted Naruto's head again making a buzzer sound. Naruto glared grumpily up at him. “Wrong! We already looked into that possibility, Naruto-kun,” said Kakashi with a grin. “There are no ninjas living in this area anymore- and it is evident that the wounds on the bodies were inflicted by powerful traps and seals.”

 

Naruto, slightly put down, only puckered his lip- not fully satisfied with Kakashi's statement. After all- fighting a person was far more exciting than fighting illusions.

 

Vondilia tried to ignore that they had just referred to her late brother as a body. Kakashi noticed her loss of composure.

 

“We can offer you some protection,” Kakashi said handing her a small bag of items and supplies that he, himself, had been using. “But I am afraid that is all we can offer for you now.”

 

“That's fine. You have been more than enough help already,” She smiled over at Naruto and bowed her head to him, “I owe you my life. I'll be sure to return the favor some day.”

 

Naruto only grinned sheepishly, knowing full well that any help from her would be very little help indeed.

 

“Sure. Alright,” he said, simply waving the statement off.

 

xxx

 

With Vondilia's directions, Naruto and team headed out towards the caves. They were a fair distance from town. Naruto was starting to grow sick of the jungle as they leapt from tree top to tree top. He was just about to announce his boredom, when pushing past a rather troublesome branch.

 

Sasuke, in the meantime, had been trying to pass by Naruto. And innocent sort of action, seeing as though the teenager was starting to become a bit reckless in his leaping. He had not been using his sharingan and had not anticipated Naruto's sudden movement. Having been following too closely behind Naruto when the blonde snapped the branch forward, Sasuke had no time to dodge when it swung back.

 

He was caught in mid air. The branch slamming into his face and knocking him back onto a lower thicker branch the tree below.

 

“Dammit, Naruto!!” Sasuke snapped holding his bloody nose and angrily glaring up at the fox-boy.

 

“Sasuke-kun!” Sakura cried, stopped on the branch behind him. She pulled back his hand to examine his nose.

 

Naruto, having not known what happened behind him, turned around only at Sakura and Sasuke's shout. Kakashi caught on before Naruto and began laughing. It was only then that Naruto understood.

 

“You're kidding!” He howled. “If I had known it was that easy, I would have hit you with a branch years ago!”

 

Sasuke grumbled irritably, pulling away from Sakura. “It's nothing,” He snapped. “Just a little bruised.”

 

Sakura helpless let her patient go, and followed behind him as Sasuke joined up with the laughing Naruto and Kakashi.

 

“Keep laughing, dobe, and I'll knock your teeth in,” Sasuke hissed, rubbing the blood off on his sleeve.

 

Naruto tried to think of a clever response- but he just couldn't stop laughing to say it. Sasuke and Sakura were not amused.

 

“Really, Kakashi! Naruto could have broken his nose!” Sakura snapped just as Sasuke had begun shaking Naruto violently in attempt to make him stop laughing. It wasn't working. “Aren't you going to stop them?”

 

“Why? Those bakas are so entertaining- why would you want to stop them?”

 

At this point, Naruto had fallen over, nearly taking Sasuke off the branch with him. Luckily, Sasuke's charka kept the two of them still on the tree.

 

Sakura smiled. Sasuke had started laughing too. It was a rare sight indeed.

 

“I guess you're right, Kakashi-sensei.”

 

“I always am.”

 

And to this, Sakura laughed- leaving Kakashi completely confused.

 

To Be Continued…

Please R & R!

 

In this story, Sakura doesn't yet know the Kyuubi is inside of Naruto. Sasuke suspects something is weird about Naruto but he isn't sure what it is.

 

Just for future information.

 

Alright. I love this chapter- can't you tell. It is probably the most amusing chapter of all of them- so enjoy the laughs while you still can.

 

Thank you for all the reviews. Review responses will be in my livejournal. The link to my memory page is in my profile- it will under the stories name and the link will be for chapters 1 and 2. Those that reviewed the last two chapters are: Genny, drgn_princess, carrot stix, Delauney, Valerie, MarshmellowDragon, Fractured Dreams, and bloodstained-years.

 

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