Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Losing Naruto ❯ Feelings ( Chapter 10 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

“But will he like it?”

“Eh?”

“I mean, does he really like this color? And what about the straps, will he think I’m…cheap? I don‘t know…”

What? I have this dress in another color!

Sakura was tired. The party was only a day away, and they had yet to find the perfect dress for Hinata to wear. They had been to almost every shop in all of Konoha, and were down to the last one. If they didn’t find one here…well, Sakura had seen Hinata’s clothes, and it wasn’t exactly what Sakura would call ‘sexy’. And that’s what they were aiming for.

If only she wasn’t so picky!

“Oh no! I-I ripped it!!”

Sakura sighed.

“Hinata, that’s the slit. It’s supposed to be there.”

“B-but surely…if I go like this…everyone will-” Hinata suddenly broke off, her face growing bright red, eyes bulging out of their sockets. “-Naruto will-and then he’ll, and we, and I’ll…and oh no….” Hinata trailed off, crossing her arms and hunching her shoulders.


“Relax, Hinata.” Sakura said, making sure to add a calming tone to her voice. She was starting to worry, Hinata was obviously not used to shopping for party dresses. Or any dresses. Of any type. Ever. As long as you didn’t count the traditional kimono’s she wore for ceremonies, which really didn’t count, since you can’t really wear them to a casual party like this one.

I am in way over my head.

“I’m sorry, Sakura. I don’t mean to…”

Sakura sighed, calming herself before speaking again.

“Listen, you need to stop apologizing, ok?”

“But-”

“No!” Sakura almost yelled, causing Hinata to jump a few inches into the air. After forcing herself into a state of calm, she continued. “We have gone over this Hinata. Unless you hurt someone, in some way, do not say sorry. Got it?”

“Yes. I’m sor- um, I mean…yes, I understand.”

“Good.” Sakura simply stated, deciding to leave it at that.

Silence.

“Well,” Hinata slowly began, turning from Sakura and grabbing a white dress off the nearby racks. “I’m going to try this one on, ok?” Hinata timidly asked, waiting for Sakura’s approval.

“Of course.”

Sakura smiled. The small gesture visibly relaxing the young Hyuuga, who made her way behind the changing curtain. It had been an extremely tense week, and it really seemed like it wasn’t going to end. Sakura had finally gotten Hinata to the point where she didn’t stutter when speaking to Naruto, which still shocked her. Unfortunately, her constant apologizing had been an extremely difficult habit to break, and was still proving to be trouble. She was just too…nice.

Too nice?

Yes, I think she’s a little too nice.

Of course you do. Look how mean you were to Naruto all those years. A lot of good it did you.

I can’t think about this crap anymore, I have a mission to complete.

Yes, to make the guy you like fall in love with this girl, so they can get married and make little pale-eyed blonde haired brats. Good for you.

Ugh, I’m sick of arguing with myself, this really can’t be healthy.

“Sakura?”

“Eh?” Sakura responded, a bit out of it, since she was still wrapped up in her thoughts. She noticed Hinata looking at her with an expression of curiosity. I wonder what my face looks like when I’m deep in thought….I’m always getting these weird looks…

“So, do you think this dress is a good choice?”

Sakura shook off her thoughts, giving her undivided attention to Hinata. She took in the small, wiry frame of the girl before her, noticing how much even her posture had changed the past week. She was so confident now, still shy, but carried herself in a different way than she used to. All in all, Sakura couldn’t help but be proud of herself. She transformed the shy, stuttering, fainting girl…into what she believed to be Naruto’s dream girl. Someone who was confident, but still shy. Pretty, but not out of reach. She was still the sweet Hinata he knew, but with the help of Sakura, she had matured quite a bit.

She was now wearing a small, thin white dress made of a simple cotton material. It went just past her knees, the hem lined with light pink lace. The neckline cut into an unrevealing V-line, ending with a small pattern of four pink jewels, in the shape of a diamond. The sleeves were a couple inches thick, lined with the same pink lace as the bottom of the dress. Along Hinata’s waist, Sakura noticed a silky pink material tying to the back, in a simple bow.

Well. Sakura thought. I guess one can only mature so much before they revert to pink bows and lace.

But, Sakura thought, looking over Hinata once more, it really does suit her. The white, the innocence of it all. Naruto…he really does deserve this.


--------------------------------


Fift een minutes later, Hinata and Sakura were walking out of the store. After finally finding the perfect dress, and shoes and a bag to match, things were looking up. They made their way out of the small shopping district, going in the direction of the tea house they frequently visited lately. They made small talk on the way over, mostly commenting on the weather, and the latest Konoha gossip. Sakura tried to pay attention, but couldn’t help thinking about what tomorrow night would bring.

She’s supposed to tell him tomorrow, Sakura reminded herself, looking down at her feet as the two made their way down the busy Konoha walkways. Isn’t it a little early? Well, she has liked him since she was a kid, so I guess it isn’t technically rushing.

But…maybe it’s too early for me. Too early to see them holding hands. Too early to watch them hug and laugh. If only I could have realized how I feel about Naruto sooner. This party would be my big chance, not hers!

“Sakura,” Hinata began in a small voice, tearing Sakura out of her thoughts. A wave of guilt instantly swept over the pink haired Chuunin when she rose her head, seeing the look of gratitude on the Hyuuga girls face. Once Sakura was looking at her, Hinata continued.

“Thanks so much again! For - well, for everything. I couldn‘t have done it without you. You‘re…a great friend.”

Well, that feels like a kick in the gut, doesn’t it?

Sakura forced a smile onto her face, even though she felt like she might cry in frustration. It wasn’t fair to Hinata that she felt this way, it really wasn’t fair to anyone.

“Please, don’t mention it.” Sakura took a deep breath. “I just-”

It hurts..

“I just want the two of you to be happy.” Sakura finally said, willing her voice to be steady. She quickly pulled her hands behind her back, not wanting the other girl to see them shaking. Why was she losing control so easily?

“Sakura, are you ok?” Hinata asked curiously, watching her with an expression that clearly showed she hadn’t missed Sakura’s drastic change in mood.

“Yeah, of course!” Sakura lied, taking a deep breath to calm herself. “Just, a bit emotional, you know? After all, this week is almost over. Come tomorrow night, you and Naruto should be an official couple!” Sakura finished excitedly, ignoring the feeling of nausea that suddenly came over her.

Hinata giggled, her expression lightening after making sure Sakura was alright. They continued to walk in silence, Hinata obviously too excited to speak, and Sakura too lost in her own inner turmoil to utter a single word.

How long is it gonna be like this? How long will I have to pretend to be happy for them, while inside I fall apart just a little bit more? Will it end…ever? Sakura question herself miserably, knowing full well that she didn’t know the answers.

“Oh, I love this little shop!” Hinata happily exclaimed, opening the door to the small tea house, “And I’m paying today Sakura, no way am I letting you take the bill two days in a row!”

Sakura smiled, walking into the small shop, deciding that just for today, she would forget about her feelings for Naruto. Instead, she would concentrate on being a good friend. Because, if she were losing Naruto, she was glad that it was to someone like Hinata.


------------------------------------------ The Next Day


Sakura awoke early the next day, considering she didn’t have any training, it might have been a very bad thing. But today she couldn’t sleep in. Not that she could remember why she had to wake up at 5:30 am on a free day, no, it was simply too early to remember anything.

Sakura stretched, letting out a small “eep!“ when her feet came out of the warm blanket, hitting the cold morning air that her partially opened window let in. Groaning loudly, Sakura curled into a ball, pulling the blankets over her head in order to trap in the warmth her body was radiating.

Too…cold…to…move…

< br> After a few minutes, Sakura finally decided to get moving, since she knew that when you’re cold the best thing to do is move. Even knowing that, Sakura found it extremely difficult to fight off the temptation of her warm, inviting bed, especially once the freezing air chilled her to the bone.

Sakura sighed, walking down the stairs, making sure to tip toe past her parents room, as not to wake them up. After carefully making her way down the stairs, Sakura walked into the kitchen, preparing a small cup of coffee. Once she was finished, she took a few sips of the drink, letting the soothing warmth wake her up a bit. Letting out a small sigh, she made her way over to the refrigerator, cup of coffee still in hand. That was when she noticed it. A note, from her parents.

That’s right, Sakura mentally kicked herself. They left last night to vacation in Suna, of all places. Well, they do have really a really great Oasis, but sooo much sand!

Deciding that her parents were, after all, slightly odd, she finally began reading the hastily scribbled note.

‘Sakura,

Remember, while we’re gone make sure to water your fathers plant, you know how he is.’

Sakura scoffed, remembering the last time her parents went away for a couple weeks. She had forgotten to feed the plant, and needless to say, her father found it in a much different condition then when he left. She had been grounded. For three months. Sakura rolled her eyes at the memory, continuing to read the small note.

‘We left you enough money to last you, so don’t worry about that. If you need to contact us, you know how. Have fun!

Mom’

Sakura sighed, and was about to open the refrigerator, until she noticed a small message at the bottom of the note.

‘By the way, have fun at Naruto’s party!’

“…………..”

CRASH

“OWWW!!! Pain! Pain, ow, pain!!” Sakura screamed, hopping around the kitchen, holding her foot in one hand. Once she had read that last message, she instantly remembered why she had to wake up early that morning. How could she have forgotten? That dreaded party was….tonight. And now, the hot coffee that covered her foot was causing a painful burning sensation. Could it get any worse?

“SA-KU-RAAAA-CHAAAAN!!!!”

I. Do. Not. Deserve. This.

“Naruto.” Sakura slowly ground out. “What are you doing in my kitchen window?”

Naruto, probably noticing the forced calm in Sakura voice, looked taken aback for a moment. Then, quickly recovering, jumped through her window, as if it were the normal thing to do.

“Why are you holding your foot?”

“Why are you in my kitchen at 6am?”

“Well - I um, was on my way to Iruka’s place, since he agreed to take me shopping today. I just wanted to make sure you were coming to my party! It wouldn’t be the same without you there!”

Sakura allowed herself a moment to take in what he just said, noticing how it somehow brightened her mood. So he really cares that much if I go?

“Of course I’m going, but you could have just called, you know?”

Naruto smiled nervously, lowering his head a few inches.

“Heh, that’s what Hinata’s father said!”

Hinata’s….father?

“ I already went by Hinata’s place, her dad really is loud!”

Oh.

That’s right. Hinata. Damn it.

You have a job to do, Sakura.

…I know.

“Hey, Naruto?” Sakura began with false happiness, ignoring her foot, which was actually hurting even more than when she first burned it, believe it or not. “Hinata is really excited about the party tonight, so can you do me a favor?”

Naruto lit up, excitedly nodding his head. Always willing to help a friend, just like Hinata said.

“Could you, maybe, ask Hinata for the first dance at the party?”

“Well, that’s what I was just at her house for!” Naruto happily shouted, making Sakura drop her foot in shock, which only served to double the painful stinging. She winced in pain, which Naruto didn’t seem to notice.

“Um, What - what do you mean?”

“Well, the thing is, last night Tsunade-baba told me about some weird dance she wanted to have everyone participate in. I told her I don’t dance, and the old woman had the nerve to hit me, just for being honest! So then she told me I needed a partner, and I tried to tell her that Naruto Uzumaki doesn‘t dan-”

“Your point, Naruto?!” Sakura growled out, reaching her limit.

He laughed nervously, rubbing the back of his head. She noticed him suddenly blush a slight crimson color. After a moment, he began to speak excitedly, what he said made Sakura freeze, the stinging pain of her foot a thing of the past.

“…Well, I asked Hinata to be my date!”

Silence.

“You…what?” Sakura asked in disbelief, not really believing what she heard to be the truth. A simple dance is WAY different than a date.

Besides, Sakura reminded herself, It’s only been a week! He wasn’t supposed to like her yet! This isn’t right, what’s going on?

“You see, the thing is,” Naruto began, suddenly staring down at his feet. “She’s been really…I don’t know, different lately. She actually talks to me, and she’s so nice, and really funny! She doesn’t faint anymore, so it’s been easier to get to know her, and-” Naruto stopped talking, looking out the kitchen window.

Sakura waited for him to continue, after a few moments she finally lost her patience.

“And?”

Naruto jumped slightly, obviously lost in his own thoughts, shocking Sakura. She had hardly ever seen him look so thoughtful. It almost frightened her.

“Oh, sorry about that, Sakura-chan!” Naruto happily responded, looking back at Sakura. He appeared to be thinking hard about something, before sheepishly smiling at her. “Um, where was I?”

Sakura resisted the urge to hit him very hard. She really cared about him, but he could be such a moron! At times she almost felt sorry for Hinata. Almost.

“You were talking about Hinata.” Sakura reminded him in a bored, flat tone. “Her unrivaled beauty, great sense of humor, and lack of fainting”

I sound bitter.

I feel bitter.

Fortunately, Naruto didn’t notice Sakura’s slightly bitter tone, he was too excited about remembering what he was about to say.

“RIGHT!” He bellowed, and Sakura swore she saw her bowls on the nearby counter rattle.

“I think I like her, Sakura!”

Sakura forced a bright smile onto her face, a smile that didn’t reach her eyes. If Naruto noticed, he didn’t say anything.

“You do? That’s great!” It felt as if it were someone else saying these things, someone else who couldn’t possibly know how much it was tearing Sakura apart.

“Yeah? Thanks, Sakura!”

“No prob-” Sakura began, but was cut off when she was pulled into a suffocating bear hug.

It hurts so much.

It-it hurts. So much.

And yet…this feels so right, bring in his arms - it feels perfect. Why does it feel as if everything has been leading up to this moment? Just having him hold me, nothing has ever felt so right in my life.

While feeling so wrong at the same time.

Sakura felt a single tear fall down her face as she stood there, letting herself drown in her feelings, not wanting the moment to end, and not wanting it to go on a second longer. She felt as if she were tasting some forbidden fruit, just by being in his arms, surrounded by his scent, hearing his steady heart beating through his chest.

Then…

He let go.

“Eh, Sakura-chan, sorry about that! Guess I got carried away, hehe.” Naruto laughed nervously, taking a few steps back. He began to speak about something involving Shikamaru and Choji, but Sakura couldn’t hear was he was saying. She could only recognize pain right now. Pain that had nothing to do with her foot.

Why did he let go? It’s so…very cold.

Was it always this cold?

Have I always been this cold without him? This…empty? This incomplete?

What will I do, when he belongs to Hinata? The thought of seeing them together, I feel like I’m going to cry. Or scream. Or - I can’t do this.

“I can’t go.”

“Eh?”

“I’m sorry, Naruto. But I can’t go to the party tonight.”

“But! Sakura-chan! You have to go, you’re one of my best friends!”

Sakura shook her head, walking to the large table to the left of the kitchen and taking a seat, slowly putting her foot in her lap.

“I’m sorry, Naruto.” Sakura began, noticing him sitting down next to her. She didn’t take her eyes off her foot, not wanting to see the disappointed look she knew was on his face.

“But why? I thought - I thought you said you were coming?”

“Well, I changed my mind, Naruto. It happens.”

“But if you aren’t there-”

“What? You’ll still have Hinata, why do you need me there?” Sakura knew she was being unfair to Naruto, but couldn’t make herself care at the moment. All she could see in her mind was the two of them dancing, laughing, and having fun. It was making her miserable just thinking about it. And sickeningly jealous.

“But you’re one of my best friends. Please?”

Sakura ignored his pleading tone, deciding to heal her foot with chakra instead, willing all of her concentration onto the task at hand. Once she was finished, she breathed a sigh of relief, noticing how the pain was completely gone. Before she could move her hand from her foot however, Naruto had gently grabbed her wrist with his hand, causing her to finally look him in the eyes.

He looked so hurt.

Did I do this?

“Sakura,” Naruto quietly began, his bright blue eyes were boring into hers, making her feel slightly faint. “Please? This is such an important night for me.“ Sakura couldn‘t think, couldn‘t move. His intense gaze was making her feel so small. “And, if not for me, then for Hinata? You two have become such close friends, I know it would really break her heart not to see you there.”

Sakura sighed, slowly pulling her wrist from his grasp, and finally breaking eye contact to look at her now fidgeting hands.

How are you gonna refuse, when he puts it like that?

But it’s going to be so hard, so painful.

Think about it this way, it’s going to hurt him if you don’t go. Are you ok with that, with causing him pain?

That final thought made up Sakura’s mind. She knew how hard it would be to see them together, but more than anything else, she couldn’t stand the thought of hurting Naruto. He deserved to be happy, and if she had to suffer for one long, long, long night…then so be it.

Sakura turned to the blonde boy next to her, took a deep breath, and nodded reassuringly.

“Alright then Naruto, I’ll come to the party.”

For you.

“REALLY?? Thanks Sakura-chan!!!!” Naruto bellowed, and Sakura was positive she had gone deaf for at least 3 seconds after his outburst.

Sakura slowly stood up, putting a small hand on his shoulder.

“Hey, no big deal. Now, don’t you have places to be?” Sakura asked, smiling at what she saw. In the span of five seconds, his expression changed from on of excitement, to questioning, to realization, to fear, and then back to excitement.

“IRUKA!!!!!!!”

Ok, I definitely went a little deaf there.

“Ahhhhhhh! Sorry Sakura-chan, see you tonight!” Naruto cheerfully yelled out, before running to the kitchen window, and jumping out in one clean motion.

Sakura sighed, moving to close the window, letting herself relax in her now quiet kitchen. She vaguely noticed how empty it now seemed without Naruto’s presence. She quickly pushed those thoughts away before they could fully form, not wanting to go back into those painful feelings. Those feelings that made her feel weak and vulnerable.

She knew she had begun to develop feelings for him, and a week ago she had finally accepted that the feelings weren’t the result of selfishness or greed. They were real. But not until he hugged her, giving her a small taste of what she could never have, and had no right wanting in the first place…not until that moment had she realized exactly what had happened.

She had fallen in love with the one guy she could never have.

Just like she had when she was a young girl, when she was naïve, innocent, and thought the man of her dreams was a small stoic boy by the name of Uchiha Sasuke.

But this is different. Sakura reminded herself. This is real…

This is Naruto, strong, dependable, sweet Naruto. And I’m not fighting over him with my old best friend. No, I’m giving him to my new best friend.

This is me…finally growing up I guess.

And, she thought, letting out a small laugh, This is going to be one hell of a party.