Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Side Effects: heiwa no Jutsu ❯ Triple Chocolate Cheesecake Sugar Coma ( Chapter 4 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
CHAPTER FOUR: Triple-Chocolate Cheesecake Sugar Coma
The sun was nearly setting by now, and Team Seven was lined up on the edge of the no-longer-a-pond area panting. It was barely recognizable anymore. All the dead wood was nearly gone with one exception (we’ll get to that), the muck was ALL gone though the very last clone had popped before reaching the river it was far enough away to count and with the exception of the three stinky people staring at it, the malodorous aroma was now replaced by earth and pine.
It was more of a crater now, scooped clean, ready to be planted, except for the stump. The stump was huge, a massive thing, ten feet across of rotten wood, thick roots gripping the ground even in death. There was NO way it was letting go without a fight either.
"Can we burn it out?" Naruto asked, kicking one of the roots near him.
"It’s soaking wet. I don’t have the chakra reserves to burn out a few hundred plus cubic feet of buried swamp wood." Sasuke said snidely, though he’d been thinking the same thing a moment ago.
"No, but, with regular fire - just, build it up and feed it with the dry dead wood from before?" Sakura suggested. "It’d take all night, but it might work."
"Does turning it into ash count as getting rid of it? I don’t wanna spend all night having to scoop up hot embers after spending all day hauling mud." Naruto asked cautiously. "He’s not gonna declare it a short cut and find a BIGGER pond, right?"
"Ah, Hopefully not?" Sakura asked, looking slightly crestfallen. Stupid on-time sunnuva-bitch!
Naruto’s stomach growled at him and he groaned. "Hey, hey, whatever we think of, let’s just do it quick, okay? I’m starving."
"Oh, let’s just burn it. It shouldn’t be to hard to control the blaze." Sasuke said, looking at the damp ground. "And if he was serious about the meadow part, the ashes should help whatever we’ll end up planting. You two go get some drier wood to fuel it." He stretched and started the hand seal necessary to spit flames.
"Umm. I have matches." Naruto interrupted, tapping his arm. "So stop being a show off and just use those."
"I’m not showing off, this burns hotter."
"Uh-huh. Sure." Naruto rolled his eyes. "Showoff."
"Who’s been using clones all day?"
"Hey, they worked, didn’t they?"
"Did you really need all FIFTY?"
There was a pause. "Yes. Yes I did."
There were at least fifty responses to that, Sasuke decided, but the easiest and most annoying would be the blank stare. "It would burn faster. That means we can go home and eat sooner."
"We could eat here." Sakura said suddenly. "He didn’t say we couldn’t eat. We just can’t go back." Mm. FISH!
"Hey yeah! There’s a whole river of fish!" Naruto glanced at Sasuke. "And it’s not like we can cook em’ over your mouth."
"It’d be a lot easier to cook over wood." Sakura said, looking at Sasuke’s dirty bandages and feeling a stir of respect. He was wounded from something and still more than pulling his weight in their little venture of the day. No Naruto, we’d need one at LEAST as big as yours. Mm. Fish.
Sasuke sighed. Fish did sound good. The large upriver swimming trout were in season right now. "Okay, but we need to dig out around the stump to do that. It goes down too deep just burning the top will take too long."
Naruto didn’t argue or comment just started to dig, feet set apart, rooster crow of dirt flying out behind him. Sasuke shrugged at Sakura and started to help. "Why don’t you go get the fish?" He commented, adjusting the bandages on his arm slightly and imitating Naruto's mad-dog stance.
"Oh. Okay. How many?"
"How many can you carry?" Naruto responded. "I’m starving!"
"Why do I ask?" Sakura sighed and took off, mentally working out the best way to catch the fish in the half-light without dynamiting the river.
Kakashi found her first, standing in the center on the river with a long pole in one hand and a kunai in the other. Her balance was excellent, the water barely rippled under her feet, and she’d stab at the deep holes on the riverbed to rouse fish. Once she’d spotted the iridescent shimmer of the bigger, fleshier fish come near the surface the kunai would ka-bob it mercilessly, as of right now she had six on the other end of the kunai's rope. They weren’t little ones either; she was obviously sticking to some sort of ‘three foot’ rule.
Well, that was fine. Kakashi was glad they’d decided to eat, thus sparing him at least a little bitching. There is that other problem though, he thought, rubbing his head thoughtfully If she’s here - He sighed, not really wanting to go look. Unfortunately, if they WERE in some sort of horribly intricate yoga like position and Sakura saw it, the ensuing beldam would probably ruin his evening. He should have checked in earlier but had been distracted with a mild kitchen emergency he hoped had been taken care of.
He titled his head and listened intently, planning out the Kakashi equivalent of hosing them down if anything was going on besides gardening. I’m not sure what the Kakashi equivalent of a hose is, but I am quite sure it is spectacular.
Standing at the edge of the edge of the clearing quietly, he scanned it, noting all the progress that had been made. He blinked at the stump, it had been under so much filth he’d failed to recognize how deep rooted it was but it seemed they had some sort of plan going to get rid of it so that was alright. Well, that was good. With the pond and scum gone, it was more of a crater than anything else but since their NEXT job would be planting. Why not?
He crept up to the hole, or started too, but gave up half way. Judging by the sounds, there wasn’t THAT much point in anything beyond his normal silent pace. The noises were muffled, and judging by heart rate it was probably safe to lean over and look. Not that he was planning on it. There were simply no way the noises they we’re creating down there had anything to do with ditch digging in the least.
He considered his options carefully. It would be relatively easy to say, flood them, true, but they HAD gotten quite far and it would be rather unfair to Sakura to make her clean up a flood. Besides - and at this point his smile became alarming as his hand contorted to the appropriate forms - mind games are so much more efficient.
Maybe an hour earlier, just as the sun was starting the last legs of it’s descent, Iruka found himself sitting outside Kakashi’s door. Again. He wondered if he should have asked for a TIME to ‘drop the pants off’ but even if he HAD been told something like ‘eight’ he would probably have ended up sitting here waiting anyway so the whole damn thing was moot. Someone was baking too. His stomach burbled slightly at the warm cookie smell. Leaning his head back, he took deep, slow breaths and contemplated the potential drawbacks of being enamored with the tardiest man in Kohona. The cookies smelled that good warm mix of vanilla, caramelizing sugars, chocolate and burning hair.
Wait! Burning hair? Iruka sat up and focused, sniffing. That was not a good thing, usually. He got to his feet and the smell got stronger. Too strong, unless the local barber shop had taken to burning it’s trash, the only way the stench could be that strong was if it was coming from inside Kakashi’s home. He blinked, staring at the door in mild alarm. The mild part of the equation was removed when a thin stream of smoke crept out at the top of the door.
"Dah!" He stared at it, wide eyes for a moment, and realized that Kakashi was either elsewhere or DEAD because unless he was a mad scientist in his spare time, there was just NO GOOD REASON for smoke that smelled like hair and cookies to be oozing through the door. With a silent prayer that the door wasn’t booby-trapped (it didn’t look it but he could be wrong) he reared up, delivering a rather brutal roundhouse kick to the door, jarring it loose. Before it could fall all the way he had grabbed it, propped it up in the hall, and gone inside to find the smoke.
It was from the oven, where the hair scented smoke was tinted with the smell of scalded flesh and cookies. He noted, somewhere in his head, that there seemed to be a rather large rack of cookies cooling to the side, but at the moment he was more focused on opening a window, then the oven, and finding the source.
He blinked. Sitting in the center of the oven was one, large, super-cookie, about the size of a Frisbee. It seemed to be done, maybe a little over done but the oven was relatively cool for cookies. On the rack UNDER the super-cookie, however, was a very, very dead mouse. It was also a very scorched, very blackened mouse whose charred flesh seemed to have adhered to the bottom of the stove. Iruka wrinkled his nose and grabbed a potholder, chipping away at the mouse with a kunai.
He had to admit, when it screamed as the blade sliced it open, it startled him. The fact it wasn’t actually DEAD startled him. It made a high pitched, demonic sounding scream for a moment then stiffened and died in one last splash of hot mouse juice. Iruka made a very un-ninja like face and scooped the whole mess up in the potholder, mentally noting that he had to go purchase a new one soon. Once the doom-mouse was disposed of, he tossed his vest onto the couch and pushed his sleeves up. Then he went back to chipping, scrubbing as best he could, while the oven was still cooling three hundred degrees. He had to locate cleaners, but eventually the dead mouse cookie scent was replaced with a kind of sterile lemon scent.
Once that was done, he had to throw the super-cookie away. It simply, smelled like burning hell-mouse and he doubted it was safe. The rest of the cookies he put on a plate, and once the one bowl that had presumably held the dough was cleaned, he stood still for a minute, rocking from heel to toe wondering how to fix the door. It looked a little splintered and probably needed to be repaired. He stretched his arms up, thinking about what to do next.
Motion - Iruka turned his head sharply towards the door, and saw a small white flag waving. "Who’s -"
Kakashi stuck his head in. "You’ve defeated my door and taken my home hostage. I wish to negotiate surrender before anything else is broken."
"I’m sorry about the door! There was something burning and -"
"I hardly think a burnt cookie is -" He paused and sniffed, dropping the flag down. "What is that smell?"
"There was a mouse in the oven." Iruka said. "I scraped it out."
"Ah! I’ve been trying to kill that damn thing for a year. I was starting to think is was some stubbornly vengeful summon." Kakashi smiled, propping the door back into its hole. "Sorry I was late. My students staged an uprising in protest of inhuman teaching practices. Mainly, me mocking them."
"I didn’t realize you we’re trying for a certain time." Iruka said, shrugging and more or less ignoring the excuse. "I had to throw away the cookie that was in there."
"Ah. Did the rest come out alright?" Kakashi kicked the door lightly and it popped into place, slightly askew.
"I didn’t try them." Iruka felt suddenly jittery again. "There was smoke -"
"You should." Kakashi picked one up and tossed it too him before getting his own. Iruka sighed and sat down, turning it over in his hands like a dilemma.
He took a bite, glanced up and realized Kakashi must have already inhaled his. It was gone, at the least, and Kakashi was plunking back down on the couch, on arm hanging over the end, out of sight, while the other folded back up behind his head. He looked back at the cookie, chewing. "This is really good." He said finally, honestly. It was good, kind of chewy with what might have been pecans in it, very finely chopped. "Tastes like the ones Mikawaya used to have."
"It, ah, is the ones they used to have. I copied one of the chefs a few days before they shut down." Kakashi smiled, tilting his head. "I really liked them."
Iruka grinned back. "Did you happen to get the cheesecake recipe too?"
"Ah, no. I was just there for the cookies that day." Kakashi said, semi apologetically.
Iruka focused on the cookie for a minute or so, chewing peacefully, letting his eyes settle half shut with his arms semi crossed. He took another bite, and was about to finish it off when a spoonful of something that initially only registered as ‘cold’ was plopped into his mouth.
"Gah!" He nearly gagged, but then the first bit of it melted and flavor started to peek through. He went from frazzled to nearly boneless in less than two seconds, eye shutting as his head leaned back and he made a weirdly happy noise.
Kakashi read the label on the carton of ice cream he’d been holding discretely off the end of the couch. Nope, no warning here about sugar comas.
"You have triple chocolate cheesecake ice cream." Iruka said, happily. "WHY do you have triple chocolate cheesecake ice cream? No - wait I don’t care -" He sat up, licking the corner of his mouth.
"I saw the empty cartons in your trash." Kakashi said dryly. "Hmm - there doesn’t SEEM to be any narcotics in the ingredients list."
"Oh. Those." Iruka laughed semi timidly, thinking of what a mess his apartment must be in.
"How can you EAT that much of this and not be continually sugar high?"
"I - I eat it when I’m nervous. Or stressed. I usually don’t go through more than, a quarter carton a week, but yesterday I was…tensed." He blushed slightly. Kakashi grinned and waved a second spoonful at him.
"Then it’s good that I got some, don’t you think? Hey- " Kakashi let go of the spoon as Iruka bit down hard. Iruka grinned and pulled the spoon out with an unnecessarily blissful look. Kakashi smiled.
"Mmm! Oh thank you!" Iruka reached over and took another spoonful. "It’s a really horrid addiction, actually, mmm!" His eyes slid shut as he sucked on the utensil with what Kakashi deemed as excess gusto. "Mmm, absolute favorite flavor, what’s yours?" He tapped the spoon against his lips and eyed the carton.
"I’m not really an ice cream person." Kakashi said, shifting a little so that Iruka could reach. "Though I’ve never had this flavor."
"Oh, try it now!" Iruka scooped again, holding the loaded spoon up to Kakashi's’ mouth. Then he faltered, lowering it into a semi cradle with the other hand ready to catch the drips. "I mean, I can look away or, something." He was looking away now, actually, down at his feet.
"Why would I want you too?" Kakashi asked quietly, sighing. He’d been wondering when that would come up.
"I don’t know. But if you want me to look elsewhere, or if you rather try it later." He was blushing again.
Kakashi sighed and pushed the forehead protector back and off of his head. "Iruka, you’re just bound and determined to make this hard for the both of us now aren’t you?"
"What do you -" Iruka started to protest. He only got as far as starting, because Kakashi deftly turned his hand around and popped the spoon into Iruka’s mouth. Iruka found himself biting on it, feeling vaguely helpless as Kakashi took his hands. After a moment he settled them against his cheeks, pale fingers over Iruka’s. And then nothing. He didn’t move, simply waiting, while Iruka sat with a spoon in his mouth turning deeper and deeper shades of red.
He desperately wanted to ask, but with that spoon, it wasn’t possible without somehow spitting it out or moving his hands. And he did want to move his hands, see the cheekbones beneath them, the lips he could feel in his mind. Hesitantly, he slid his hands up a little, pushing the cloth down with his thumbs gently. I do not want my mind to be the only place I ever felt those lips, he thought stubbornly shifting the spoon so it stuck out of his mouth at a bizarre angle. He tried to go slowly, but a combined fear of rebuttal and a sudden need to get this part the HELL over with made him yank it down past the chin. He blinked for a second, feeling a little surprised at himself for that. It actually took a few seconds for anything to actually register.
And then, of course, the first thing he noticed was the tan line. Not much of one, like the difference between milk and cream. But still there. He ran a fingertip along it without thinking, from the right eye to the left, hit the scar and traced it down automatically till it hit a second, smaller scar that went to the corner on his mouth. The mouth. It wasn’t the wide, predatory smile, it had a gentle look to it now, softer. It was the type of mouth that could seemingly morph from pout to pretty to demon and Iruka wanted to bite its bottom lip.
He leaned forward to, on impulse and nearly poked Kakashi with the spoon. Flushing red, he yanked it out of his mouth and tried to stammer an apology around a mouthful of ice cream he hadn’t quite managed to swallow. Not a surprise as he’d been lucky to remember to BREATH for a moment there. Kakashi flashed a hunter’s set of enamels and leaned forward before Iruka choked himself or some other idiocy. Not that Kakashi thought of him as an idiot - but he did a damn good impression when flustered.
Iruka groaned, moving against the kiss and shifting. He felt himself being moved. It took a bit to register he was now on Kakashi's’ lap, more or less, legs straddling his. Kakashi, meanwhile temporarily compliant for some reason, let himself be pushed in the couch, settling his hands on Iruka’s thighs and tilting his head back.
Iruka shifted his hands from balance work to the collar of the vest, gripping it for a moment to shift against him before sliding against his neck. After what seemed like a short forever, Iruka pulled away, breath slightly ragged. He blinked, then leaned forward and nipped that slightly reddened bottom lip.
He started to lean back in - then paused. "Hey!"
"Hmm?" Kakashi blinked up at him, but his tongue flicked in the corner of his mouth for a moment.
"You took my ice cream."
"That wasn’t a present?" Kakashi said drolly, eyebrow raised.
"Not really." Iruka said carefully, trying not to smile.
"Are you sure?" Kakashi smiled slyly, the effect being heightened by the secondary scar that seemed to stretch the expression another inch to the left. "I think it was."
"I offered you a spoonful."
"Exactly! Then you stuck it in your mouth and I had to retrieve it."
"YOU stuck it in my mouth. You could have kept the spoon."
"The spoon had germs."
Iruka resisted the urge to stick his tongue out. "So does my mouth!"
"But your mouth is different, now isn’t it?" Kakashi's voice went from slightly teasing to nearly a rumble, suddenly forward enough that their lips brushed. "Your mouth is warm and pliant and tastes utterly fantastic all by itself, even after sake, even through chocolate and if you even think about sticking that tongue out at me I’ll screw you to the wall."
"Ah." Iruka shuddered at that, and without even really realizing he’d done it. His tongue had slinked out to slide across Kakashi's lips quickly and retreat. Or, it tried to slink back in, but the tip had gotten caught between the other mans teeth and was presently being held captive. He leaned forward farther, trying to free it and felt Kakashi’s hands at the back of his neck. His tongue was released but his lips were merrily trapped there in a kind of war. He didn’t notice Kakashi’s OTHER hand had shifted till it was too late to attempt some form of victory.
"Ah!" He tried not to make TOO much noise but with Kakashi’s hand suddenly kneading at his already aching groin, which was hard. Kakashi’s arm was actually snaked UNDER his leg, putting the hand at what most certainly felt like the optimal place for gropeage. "Kakashi, that’s, ahh!"
Kakashi grinned like a fool. "I wasn’t quite myself last time, you see. I have every intention of enjoying you more thoroughly now that I’m not rushed."
Iruka muttered a not very nice word and bit his lip. Kakashi laughed, letting his fingers tangle in Iruka’s hair a little while he nuzzled at his neck. The high collar of the shirt was in the way and he nosed at it, pushing it down a little.
"I could take that off -" Iruka said, leaning his head to the side. "The shirt - ah!" Kakashi had revealed enough skin to nip at. "God, not another hickey! The last ones itched!" He protested, leaning away a bit when the suction started. He couldn’t actually GET away though, as the fingers in his hair tightened a little and held him still. "It – ah! It better not show!"
"I’m discreet." Kakashi was lying. A thin red edge was probably going to be visible. "Now, you were talking about your shirt?"
Iruka didn’t respond, just forcefully leaned himself back (Kakashi kept grinning and let go of his hair so he could) and grabbed the bottom edge of the shirt, hauling it up and over with enough force to snap his hair tie. Kakashi finally stopped squeezing the bulge like some bizarre stress relief toy and started examining the bare torso in front of him.
He had meant what he’d said about enjoying this. Heiwa snap-back made it hard to do simple things like just LOOK at that much skin without wanting to bite, suck, tickle stroke or molest it passionately at that moment. Not that he didn’t want to do all of those things now, but just being able to run his hands along bare arms, trace collar bones, focus on the little reactions he got from things like tracing old scars softened to shadows by time and advanced healing techniques. And of course, the hickeys. He grinned a little, leaning forward to kiss a shoulder while his fingers circled the bright red marks. He might have complained about them itching, but he probably could have fixed them if he’d wanted to. Kakashi was willing to stake his collector volume of Icha Icha Paradise that Iruka liked the little reminders in spite of himself.
Iruka panted and tried to calm down a little. Kakashi playing connect-the-hickeys with his fingertips didn’t help too much, but it wasn’t making him MORE frantic, at least. Trying to focus on something that wasn’t quite as over-the-top sexy as his mouth, he settled for hair. It wasn’t that it was un-sexy. It just wasn’t currently nuzzling his nipple. He brought his hands up and touched the spiky mess that was more, droopy than normal. It felt softer than he thought it would have. He’d been expecting it to be nearly wiry. It wasn’t wiry though, it was soft, softest at the tip and stayed soft all the way down there was just gradually more and more hair till the individual strands held each other up. Iruka lowered his head and got a slight whiff of cookie clinging to the white mess, smiled and nuzzled at it. It went in all directions like a fern and Kakashi paused to look up at him through a haze of fluff.
"Does it meet your approval or should I shave it off?" He tilted his head to kiss Iruka’s chin.
"Oh, don’t you dare. You’d burn all the skin off your head the second the sun hit you." Iruka nuzzled happily. "Just keep doing what your doing till you think of something better."
"Hmm. I take requests you know." Kakashi smiled.
"How about, Fly me to the moon?"
Kakashi blinked. He actually hadn’t been expecting an actual song type request. He hummed slightly, thinking of the words. "Hmmm. Let’s see. Fly me to the moon? Hmm. Can’t sit down for that one -"
Iruka yelped as Kakashi hooked his elbows under Iruka’s knees and lifted and surged to a standing position. The only think that saved him from being dumped on the ground like a sack of potatoes was the fact he’d grabbed the high collar of the vest and was clinging to it.
"Ah! Kakashi what are you - omph!" Iruka felt some of the air leave his lungs as his back impacted with Kakashi’s wall. He let go of the fabric and slapped his arms out against the wall to steady himself. "Ahh!"
"Among the stars, let me see what spring is like,"
It took Iruka a moment to realize Kakashi was actually singing it, has presumably started when they stood up. "Eep!"
"Quiet, I’m at the good part." Kakashi scolded. He unhooked one hand, pushing his torso forward to keep Iruka pinned. With that arm now, free he set about waving it dramatically as he began to croon again, not adding enough volume to be considered belting it. "Ooon, Jupiter and Mars -"
Iruka blinked. Kakashi's’ singing wasn’t, bad. He knew all the words, unlike most karaoke parties, his speech was un-slurred, and his voice didn’t crack or sound flat. But, in spite of that, a mask-less Kakashi waving one arm about like an absolute nut with an utterly serious look of concentration on his face caused a fairly predictable reaction.
"In other words baaby kiss - hey, now, that’s uncalled for!"
Iruka was laughing so hard he was starting to cry. He’d had to put chakra into his palms to glue himself in place for fear of toppling sideways and decided that using any form of chakra molding while both horny and laughing was probably more wasteful than trying it drunk. Kakashi raised an eyebrow.
"Meh. See. If I ever sing for you again." Kakashi said, eyes sliding to the left. He stopped flourishing with the hand and settled it against the outside of Iruka legs, sliding it. "I’m not that bad."
"No, no you’re not! That’s what’s funny!" Iruka said, nearly howling. Kakashi took advantage of his distraction to creep the hand farther up, trying to get far enough to hook into the pant of Iruka's’ waistband and yank down. He was relatively sure he could get Iruka’s pants down without getting at the fly. "Hey what are you doing?" Iruka wiggled slightly.
Ah well. Too much to hope I wouldn’t get caught. Kakashi smiled innocently. "Getting your pants off. If you’re just going to laugh at my singing I’m moving to stage two."
"And stage two being payback for me sticking out my tongue?" Iruka seemed to be even more amused by that. He leaned forward as far as he could without releasing the wall and brushed his lips against Kakashi’s. "Cause if that’s not stage two, can we - ah, skip ahead?"
"Only if you let go of my wall before the paint comes off." Kakashi said. "It’s a fairly new coat since they patched the hole."
"Hole?" Iruka asked, letting go and feeling himself slide a little before Kakashi pushed him back up.
"I may or may not have put Gai-sensei’s head through the wall during one of his impromptu battles." Kakashi looked at the ceiling. "There wasn’t any structural damage. Well, not to the wall. Don’t really know if you could tell about his head." His fingers hooked the waistband, finally pulling down. Iruka shifted a little, hands going to his hips to push down as much as he could, trying to help. Kakashi leaned forward and bit his shoulder lightly.
"Ah - ah!" Iruka shuddered, especially since Kakashi’s hand was flitting over the newly exposed skin of his rear. "You’re still dressed." He pointed out, his hands settling on Kakashi's neck, rubbing under the vest.
"You’ve got pants on."
"They’re nearly to my knees. I don’t think they count."
"Hmm." Kakashi flexed his hand and flicked his wrist suddenly, and Iruka went stiff.
Kakashi wriggled the now buried index finger and Iruka wriggled too, a host of interesting expression vying for control. The hands on his neck formed fists, wadding up the black cloth easily.
"Ah! WARN ME WHEN YOU DO THAT!" Iruka hollered, banging his head backwards, maybe a little too hard. "Ow!"
"Your head or my finger?" Kakashi smiled against his neck. "And please don’t hurt my wall."
Iruka offered up a few profanities against the wall and the builder of the walls’ mother as he rubbed his head. He stopped as he was about to verbally abuse the forest the wood had come from when Kakashi added a finger. "Ahhh!" His head went back with less force this time and his cheeks turned deep red as Kakashi apparently bumped something.
Something good, judging by the reaction and Kakashi wriggled his fingers in the general area again. Iruka bit his lip and seemed to set about making himself look hot. Kakashi tilted his head to look at him and felt his mouth go slightly dry. Ah, Kakashi it’s a good thing you’ve already got his ‘go ahead’ cause You and I both know you’d probably keep going after seeing that anyway, Kakashi told himself, licking his lips to get the moisture back.
Iruka whimpered as the persistent delving seemed to get more accurate. Kakashi shifted at the noise as a few parts of his own anatomy began to protest the lack of attention. With a minor bit of mental calculating he let Iruka drop a few more inches, shifting his hand. Iruka winced, nearly drawing blood from his lip.
"Depends. How deep are you?"
"Three fingers."
"Ah. Then, yeah. A little." Iruka shut his eyes. "Felt like your fist for a second." He exhaled slowly in a hiss, and Kakashi felt him relaxing bit by bit. "S’okay though." He managed a fairly lewd grin, opening one eye a sliver. "Do that finger wiggle thing again and I’ll- ah-ah-ah-ah-dah-damn -" Kakashi sighed as the smarmy expression was replaced with strained bliss.
"Aren’t you glad we didn’t skip any stages now?" Kakashi said, biting his own lip and staring. Not really at any one thing, his eyes roved from the beads of sweat creeping down the center of Iruka’s chest, the probably bruised lower lip caught between teeth that still worried at it, the line of concentration between his brows, the way his distinctive facial scar stood out nearly white against the blood in his cheeks, the other scars too, come to think of it, everything fell under his scope right now. Including his member, which, had it been that color any other circumstances would have required a medical specialist. Not that Kakashi was inclined to feel overly sorry for Iruka, considering how pale his skin, was he probably looked a much purer purple than that.
Iruka dug his fingers into the material of the vest, partially glad for something to hang on too. He could feel himself being lowered, and kept forcing himself to breathe until he was able to make himself relax. It wasn’t easy, the sudden absence of fingers for a moment made him gasp and lips sealed over his instantly. Iruka moaned into that, panting and Kakashi gave him just enough space to breathe even though their lips still touched.
Iruka opened his eyes a sliver to look at Kakashi’s face. It was a flawless mask of concentration, flushed, distorted from his close angle of view. He felt himself lower a little more, the beginnings of pressure and Iruka squeezed his eyes shut. "Ah!" He groaned slightly, not able to bite his lip again because Kakashi was blocking that option. He wasn’t sure if it hurt more or less because of the more gradual intrusion. But then again this particular brand of pain was hard to measure properly. His knuckles whitened as he twisted the cloth in his hands, breathing slightly ragged. It felt like it took forever for Kakashi to lower him all the way, settling him and waiting a moment.
Iruka wondered, to him self, if he was in more pain today because he hadn’t healed properly from last night, or if he’d healed too much. It didn’t really matter though. Kakashi twitched his hips and Iruka felt his head spin. Oh yeah. That was why you dealt with the pain, because it went from bad to good in a sudden rush. "Ah! Kakashi! More! Please more!"
Kakashi growled from somewhere deep in his belly and leaned forward, tongue flicking out to gather sweat from Iruka’s cheekbone. As for the request, he was more than willing to comply, though he kept himself in check enough to not leave Iruka in his dust. Jounin or not, if Iruka got offended and tried to stab him in the head with a shuriken as protest two seconds after, he’d probably die. Plus, Iruka made some very, very funny faces during orgasm and in this light he could see them better. He thrust harder, a little deeper, licking the stinging sweat away from Iruka’s eyes. Tasted almost sweet along with the normal saltiness, he must have had too much ice cream yesterday, maybe the day before. Didn’t really matter. It was just a random thought that got close enough to the surface to be acknowledged before the next wave of sensation killed it. Must have- ah- healed to much- feels- tighter- ah! Then that thought too was washed away.
Kakashi put on hand to the wall for extra balance as the waves began to over lap more and more. The wall crumbled under his fingers a little, his fingers hit wood and he found himself holding the support stud. Not that it registered, right now it was just a handle while he focused his attention elsewhere. He realized neither of them had bothered to take Iruka's’ forehead protector off and nosed it a little, kissing at temple.
Iruka felt himself tensing up, in waves radiating from his belly outward. "Ah- Kakashi- huh- hurry! Ah!" He continued with more of the same, and Kakashi only refrained from yelling with him because his mouth was otherwise occupied. Mostly it was occupied with tasting every reachable square inch of skin he could locate on Iruka body, but he was biting his tongue quite a bit too, it was the only way he had to stay in control.
If either of them had bothered to think about it, they would have remembered the very broken door. You probably forgot about it too.
Iruka tensed up one last time, feeling like he’d been absolutely set on fire, before finally letting go. Well, not really. He nearly tore the seams apart on Kakashi’s vest, but his back arched as his head went way back. With a mental finally, Kakashi joined him, pushing him up against the wall brutally for that one last thrust, going up on his toes and clamping his teeth onto Iruka shoulder, getting one last howl out of the other man before they both started to shudder quietly into a calm.
"What - what the hell did you DO to the wall?" Iruka said finally, when his eyes decided to focus on something beyond the fluffy head in front of him, nestled in the crook of his neck.
"Umm." Kakashi shifted enough to glance, then went back to nuzzling. "I put a hole in it."
"Yep. Needed something to hold onto." Kakashi shifted a little, coming out, and Iruka ran his fingers though spiky, sweaty mess. "Mm. Couch or bed?"
"You pick. You’re carrying me." Iruka said, smiling lazily. "Shirt is a mess."
"Yeah. On after thought maybe stripping down would be good next time." Kakashi said, observing the mess. He considered. He could stretch all the way out on the bed. But the couch had ice cream. Hmm. OR, he could GRAB the ice cream on the WAY to the bed. Yes, that was best. The sheets were easier to change than washing the couch. With a sudden heave he had Iruka over one shoulder, blithely ignoring the confused protest. He swayed a little to grab the carton, and took an odd hop step as Iruka regained enough composure to slap at his ass. Kakashi grinned, set the carton down and took his own shot that resulted in a loud ‘smack’ noise and a red handprint.
"Ack! Unfair!" Iruka protested. "And stop with the marks! I’m already yours I don’t need to be branded -" He made a slight ooph as he was tossed to the bed with the freshly laundered sheets. He automatically rolled as he hit, semi popping into a crouch.
"You’re mine then?" Kakashi ditched the vest and shirt and slinked onto the bed, crawling up next to him. "Promise?" He started to lazily lip at his neck. Iruka shivered and opened his arms, shifting as Kakashi pushed him onto his back. Iruka moved and felt his head settle into the pillows. He exhaled slowly, letting his eyes shut a moment, then yelped as something cold plopped onto his chest wetly.
"Argh! What did you -" Iruka tried to sit up but Kakashi pushed him back down.
"The ice cream is melted now." Kakashi said, setting the carton down somewhere. He leaned over and flicked his tongue out.
"There are these things, called spoons." Iruka drawled. "Perhaps you’ve heard of them?"
"Mm. You still taste better." Kakashi dragged his tongue around the edge of the sugary puddle. "There’s still a spoon in the carton if you want some." He pauses to chase a dribble before it hit bedspread, biting the skin lightly when he was done. "When I’m done."
Iruka relaxed, smiling. "You said spoons have germs."
Kakashi nibble a collarbone that had accumulated some run off, pausing to smile back. "Well, if you think you can bend enough to lick your own chest you can feel free to try but I’m just going to laugh if you sprain something."
Iruka groaned. "That’s not what I meant!"
"Then what DID you mean, Ruru-kun?" Kakashi grinned slyly, kissing the now clean if somewhat damp skin.
"I – ah!" Iruka proceeded to blush. Kakashi stopped and stared. It seemed nearly ludicrous to him that the man who’d flat out demanded that he be fucked harder was now nervous about ice cream. "I - I just didn’t get to see any of your chest, really and - could you lay back?" There was a pause. "Please?"
Kakashi nibbled at the ever-growing hickey on his neck for a moment before reaching over and grabbing the carton. I, Hatake Kakashi, hereby swear on my honor to NEVER have LESS than a quart of this stuff in my freezer at any given time. EVER. He handed it over as Iruka sat up, still flushed pink.
"It’s all melted."
"I told you that." Kakashi leaned forward over the tub and kissed Iruka lightly. "Where do you want me to lay?"
"Umm." Iruka looks a little confused. "On the bed?"
Kakashi laughed and lay back, stretching his arms up for a moment. Iruka stared at him a moment, transfixed and reached out his free hand, tracing out a design that seemed to include all the scars from his barely exposed hip bones to his shoulders. There wasn’t a real goal to it, just contact for the sake of contact. Iruka settles his palms against Kakashi’s rib, feeling slight, minute bump marking where they’d been broken at one point. Probably more than once. Iruka’s eyes took in the scars, faint as they were, and did the mental leap backwards, calculating what damage had caused them. Chakra burns, slashes from half dodges, flat out stabs -
Then Kakashi, apparently impatient or bored, snaked a hand quickly and pinched him. Iruka yelped and the hand holding the carton jerked, spilling. "Ack!"
Kakashi blinked at him through now chocolate-covered fingers, fluffy white hair now splashed with ice cream so filled with cocoa as to be black. Iruka blinked, then laughed. He couldn’t help it, the ice cream had made a perfect negative of Kakashi's usual mask, stopping neatly at the tan line and splashing up.
"I’m sorry, I’m sorry!" He apologized, pausing to like the excess off the edge of the carton and setting it down as Kakashi started to wipe his hands on his chest, trying to keep from ruining the pillows. "Ah, here." Iruka cupped his face for a moment, wiping off every thing that was running. After a second’s thought, he wiped that on Kakashi's chest as well, leaning forward to sample what was still on Kakashi's’ face. Kakashi shut his eyes and let him, grabbing Iruka hands and starting to lick and suck the black off of them. After a moment he had to agree with Kakashi’s opinion. Spoons were boring. He took his time, pausing to nibble when he felt like it, and paused once the cocoa-mask was gone. "Hair is a mess."
"It’s what showers are for." Kakashi stated, opening one eye a sliver. Iruka nodded, in complete agreement and started to nibble at Kakashi's fingers, systematically cleaning them.
Yep. Spoons were much more boring than this would ever be. Iruka debated throwing all of them away at least ten times over the course of that night, before they finally quit and fell asleep, comfortably tangled.
Kurenai no longer regretted offering up her house as the site of the sixth annual teachers’ party. Or, that what she was telling herself as she stared at the mirror, trying to use sheer will to force her skin back to normal. It was currently the EXACT same shade as her eyes and she looked rather like a cherry.
"C’mon! C’mon!" She didn’t know any ‘anti-blush’ jutsu so talking to her mirror was the next best thing. Oh god! What if I SEE one of them tomorrow? She asked herself. You’ll probably die on the spot, that’s what. Aiiiiiiiee! And Asuma was there too! ACK.
(Earlier that day)
Having finally gotten the weird stain off the ceiling with some assistance from Asuma, and with the content of her apartment all glued back together, she was in a slightly better mood. In fact, she’s been in a good enough mood to produce food for the two of them while they sat and talked and eventually they noticed the camera.
"Wonder if we got anything good?" Asuma asked. "You tape it every year, don’t you?"
"It was pointed out the window yesterday." Kurenai responded. "I think it got turned during karaoke strip poker. I need to make the copies soon, people have been asking."
Considering Asuma had woken up with an unidentified pair of panties on his head after the party, he personally thought that might be a good thing.
"Hmm. Want to see?" He stood up, hooking the wires to get it to play.
"Only if we don’t skip over you humiliating yourself." Kurenai said.
"Only if we don’t skip over you humiliating yourself." Asuma said. "Hey, think we got Iruka telling jokes?"
"I hope so. He’ll never admit to it otherwise."
"We should ask about the box at some point. Just to see him implode."
"That’s not very nice, he’s a good man."
"Who implodes." Asuma grinned, chewing on the end of his smoke. Kurenai had told him he’d be gutted if he lit up, so he was just holding it at the moment. "Okay, got it."
They started it up and had a pretty fun hour or two watching themselves get gradually more and more wasted. There was all the early stuff they remembered fairly clearly, and a few things they hadn’t. They HAD gotten Iruka’s half hour monologue of desperately filthy jokes, and his second spiel about confiscated items, and him falling backwards on the couch.
Then the first round of strip karaoke poker started and on the small TV screen Kurenai watched herself grin, grab the camera and twist it out the window after losing a hand.
"I guess that’s it then, unless you’d like to listen to the rest of the game." Asuma said, starting to get up. "I personally think an hour of a half focused Kakashi being anti social is kinda boring."
"At least it was really him this year. Remember the year he just sent a copy?"
"Yes I do. And, heh, well, this isn’t quite as boring as I thought." Asuma stepped out of the way in time for Kurenai to see Kakashi do a rather humorous half hop with a half naked Iruka clinging to him like a stole.
Kurenai blinked. "Back that up!"
They did. Ended up watching it three times too, from Iruka poking him to Kakashi slinging him over a shoulder and taking off, leaving a shoe. If they left it playing they saw a rather fat and evil looking raccoon come and carry the shoe away.
It apparently ran out of tape at that point because the screen went to snow. They sat there staring at it blankly from a few minutes.
"He probably just took him home. Left him on the couch." Kurenai said. "I mean, I saw Iruka yesterday and he looked, frazzled but not like he’d been left in a ditch or anything."
"That’s good."
"And he didn’t kill himself, so he probably doesn’t remember this." Kurenai speculated.
"Still going to hand out copies of the tape?"
"I can cut it off when I turn it away." Kurenai said, fiddling. "But, ah, should we give Iruka a real copy?"
"That depends."
"On what?"
"On if Kakashi intends to tease him about it." Asuma said. "If he does, we should warn Iruka. Or he might-"
"No, no. If he realized he more or less molested the one man at the party sober enough to remember, I think an explosion might be a more accurate description." Asuma said.
"Well, what do you suggest, we go ask him?"
"Ask Kakashi? Just asking might give him the idea." Asuma pointed out, chewing. The cigarette started to disintegrate and he tossed it, replacing it with a fresh one. "But, what the hell. Let’s go."
"You’re the one who said people have been asking for the tape. Besides, he keeps weird hours and it’s only midnight." Asuma put a blank tape in and started recording, privately thinking that if they brought the original it might not make it back intact.
"Alright. Hope he’s not busy."
They’d made it pretty far really, far enough to see the door was semi off its hinges and to smell the odd mix of burned hair and lemon cleaner. So, naturally, they got quiet, creeping up to see what was going on, and were stopped dead in their tracks by what seemed at the time to be an ear splitting "Ah- Kakashi- huh- hurry! Ah!"
Kurenai fell over. Almost. Instinct kicked in and she caught herself, but was slammed into the ground by Asuma, whose instincts didn’t catch up quite as quickly. There was a tense two seconds where their ears were assailed with more of those Kentucky rattling yelps, and without speaking, both of the fallen shinobi took off towards their respective houses as if the hounds of hell were after them.
This, of course, returns us to now.
"I’m going to avoid them both. For as long as it takes for my face to turn back to its normal color." Kurenai said solemnly, unaware that across the village Asuma was uttering more or less the same personal decree through a cloud of smoke. And I’m editing the tape and burning the originals. But RIGHT now? I’m having a drink.