Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Slipshod ❯ Slipshod ( Chapter 1 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

On the eve of a vital mission, Naruto and Sakura are forced to come to terms with what could happen, and their feelings for one another...MAJOR MANGA SPOILER ALERT! (Have read up to 262)

Anime/Manga: Naruto Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Drama / Romance | Type: Continuation | Uploaded On: 06.05.2005 | Updated On: 06.05.2005 | Pages: 5 | Words: 8.7K | Visits: 1.2K | Status: Work In Progress

Slipshod

“If a Bijuu is removed…the Jinchuuriki will die…”

No matter how long she lay with her eyes closed, trying desperately to summon sleep to a mind overworked with disjointed, frantic thought, Sakura finally admitted defeat and sat up, cradling her face in her hands. Fear-sweat made her skin clammy and cold to the touch. Her fingers trembled. Unshed tears seared her eyes, a combination of salt and water yearning to be released. She blinked a few times by way of resistance, however her diminished strength soon yielded.

“You're still as quick to cry as ever, Sakura-chan. Don't worry about me!”

The tears dripped through the openings between her fingers to run down her arms and plummet to the ground from her elbows. Crickets hummed to each other in their own special language of chirps as they traveled through the grassy meadow; nearby, an owl hooted, yellow eyes gleaming in the moonlight as it searched for food. Leaves rustled and swayed in the light breeze, stars twinkled in the perfect, unobstructed ebony sky.

A beautiful night.

“…the Jinchuuriki will die…”

Old Chiyo's voice would not leave her be, a constant echo that reverberated off the walls of her mind. Would it ever go away? No. Not until Akatsuki was taken care of, not until the curtains of this ruthless play closed over the stage after the final act.

As a girl, she never expected her career as a ninja would lead her here, every solid foundation she'd labored so hard to build crumbled to pieces beneath her. Oh, she still maintained a firm hold on some of her identity, enough at least to mould into the person she had become under Tsunade's strict guidance. No one would have to fight on her behalf again; she would never have to watch her friends be hurt to protect her. Instead of remaining the weakest link, she redefined herself as she stepped up to the level of her teammates, and added a few new tricks as well. Not only had her inhuman strength been honed, but her natural, untapped skill as a medic blossomed as well.

“Don't worry about me!”

Her fingers curled inward, nails biting into skin. She did worry. More than she ever would have imagined.

It was the intensity of her concern that frightened her.

Sakura's early childhood did not leave many happy memories behind. She had been a shy, awkward girl teased for the size of her forehead, and had few friends. The pink hair she now wore short and choppy, held away from her face by her forehead protector, she used as a shield to hide behind, a small sense of security. Content to remain in the background, she endured the teasing in silence.

Ino changed all that.

The blonde girl was everything that Sakura wanted to be, and when she approached her one day while their class picked flowers, Sakura thought she would burst. Ino showed her how to break free of her shell, showed her that she shouldn't be afraid to expose her face. She showed her what it was like to have a friend.

Once they reach a certain age, it is in the nature of little girls to develop crushes on little boys. Uchiha Sasuke, the last of his clan, caused quite a stir among Sakura's peers, capturing hearts right and left with his cold, aloof behavior and dark good looks. Sakura herself became enamored of him, and made it her mission to win his affections. The desire for him to single her out dictated her every move. She studied hard to impress him with her intelligence, committing the code of a shinobi to memory. Her reality check would come later, once she discovered first-hand how different real battle compared to book-learned strategy really was, however until then, she continued to live in ignorance, her goal all-consuming.

Looking back, Sakura realized with shame how selfish she was. Nothing else mattered except her conquest of Sasuke, and her friends were expendable if they threatened to interfere. Her world narrowed to him and her; all others were outsiders, unwelcome, unwanted. And Ino, her truest friend, morphed into an enemy. She liked Sasuke, too. She was an obstacle to be cleared.

How many years of friendship had they lost because of one boy? Perhaps their destroyed relationship was slowly on the mend, but that did not excuse her of her behavior. Especially now, after the person she poured so much of herself into betrayed them…

Sakura had had enough. She needed to be moving. Getting slowly to her feet, she slipped away from their makeshift camp and walked aimlessly, no set destination guiding her footsteps. The breeze kissed her tearstained cheeks, and she lifted her face to it, welcoming the coolness.

“…the Jinchuuriki will die…”

“I know!” she hissed to the wind. “Do you think I don't understand? Do you think I don't realize what Akatsuki plans to do to him?” What they're doing to Gaara now…ripping Shukaku out of him, the other half of his existence…his Bijuu…

She thought she had no more tears left to shed.

She was wrong.

Knees no longer able to bear her weight, she sank down into the grass and wept, a helpless child lost in a vast wilderness, no end in sight. Her breath came in choking gasps, sobs wracking her frame. A few minutes later the weeping subsided, and she felt as though phantom hands had wrung her out like a towel saturated with moisture.

“Neither of them asked for this.” Her voice was a raw whisper. “They've been condemned to death since they were born. It's not fair!” A foolish statement, she knew, but she could not seem to stop the words as they poured from her mouth. “It's not fair at all! Why do they have to suffer? Tell me why!”

She received no answer, though she had not expected one.

“Don't worry about me!”

Sakura almost laughed. “Oh Naruto, can't you see it's too late?”

For nearly three years, they had been apart, he to train with Jiraiya, she to serve as Tsunade's apprentice, sharing the intention to bring Sasuke back no matter what the cost.

She grew up quite a bit since then.

What she believed to be a mistake in judgment she discovered was a deliberate choice. Sasuke chose to attack Naruto, his teammate, his comrade…his best friend. Sasuke chose to leave the village in search of a quick source of power, accepting fruit from the hand of the enemy. Sasuke chose to sever his ties, cut himself off from the people who cared about him. He was far beyond their reach, and no arm was long enough to touch him.

Deep in her gut, she knew he planned to keep it that way, and she despised him for it.

She didn't grasp the emotion then, however, and if she did, she tried her hardest to deny its existence. Loving Sasuke was what she did. She'd done it since she was small. Hating him, on the other hand, was something completely alien. Whenever her thoughts strayed to him, she found herself pulled in hundreds of directions at once. He tried to kill Naruto. Chouji, Neji, Kiba…all injured trying to save him from himself. He left me here without so much as a goodbye when he knew my feelings.

He tried to kill Naruto. Not defeat, not subjugate, kill. He tried to kill Naruto…

Already distressed, Tsunade's apathy did nothing to aid her plight.

“You're in the big league now, Sakura,” Godaime rested her chin atop her folded hands, looking directly at her pupil. “These are the types of things you have to deal with. Sasuke is a criminal of his own accord, and he's also someone special to you. Problem is, you harbor a lot of false hope that everything will return to normal once you come face to face with him again. Ah—” she held up a hand as Sakura began to protest. “Don't be defensive when you know as well as I do that I'm right.” Her student closed her mouth. “Jiraiya was the same. He thought Orochimaru would come back to our side once confronted by his old teammate, but obviously that plan failed.”

The woman stretched her arms above her head and went to stand by the window. “Since it would be a waste of effort to try and discourage you, I won't bother. However,” brown eyes met with emerald. “Continue on this path, and someday you might be forced to make a choice that will tear you apart.”

Sakura took her words at face value, believing that her sensei was trying to tell her to abandon Sasuke completely because her efforts would lead to inevitable failure, and she stormed out of Godaime's office in a rage. The conversation took on a different meaning a year or so later, after Sakura had sufficient time to question her own motives.

Tsunade did not say `give up.' She said to be prepared. The longer Sakura clung to the notion of Sasuke reverting back to the boy she fell in love with as soon as she snapped her fingers, the harder it would be to save him in the end. To do so she would have to let go of her predispositions and see the situation through clear eyes.

Sasuke was a traitor who would sacrifice the life of his best friend in exchange for power.

Knowing this, did she still want to risk everything to drag him home?

This was what Tsunade meant. This was what she was up against. This was what would culminate the beginning of a war centered on revenge, to what end no one could be certain.

Did Sakura have the strength to hold out her hand to the person who had spilled Naruto's blood, who had broken her heart, who would attack his own on the battlefield just to kill his brother?

She wanted to say yes without hesitation. After all, Sasuke did have a part to play in her desire for transformation. It was the will to save him that drove her to seek Tsunade. She owed him something, didn't she?

And what about Naruto? A tiny voice in the back of her mind always reminded. You cannot disregard the effect he has had on your life.

Uzumaki Naruto. One of the three members of Team Seven, and her temporary annoyance. In Academy, everyone referred to the short, blonde troublemaker as Dead Last, and laughed while he fumbled his jutsus and failed his tests. Naruto took it all in stride—or so she believed. He never showed his weak side to anyone, never revealed the pain he experienced by being ostracized for a reason unknown to him, never backed down from a fight, even if his enemy was bigger or stronger, and he did it all with a smile.

“I'll be Hokage, you'll see!” He would say, arms crossed stubbornly over his chest.

At first, Sakura thought like everyone else that he was a nuisance, and would amount to nothing, yet her opinion began to change the more time she spent around him. She glimpsed facets of his personality she never knew he possessed, and discovered that, ever so slowly, she had come to respect him.

Over the course of a few years, Naruto went from idiot to comrade to friend, and a good friend at that. She did not think she would miss him as much as she did when he went away, his jokes and his laughter and his spirit. Tsunade worked her to the bone, and oftentimes she was too exhausted at the end of the day to do anything but fall into bed and sleep, yet she always saved a moment before she drifted off to pray for his safety and wonder how different he'd be when she saw him again.

Would he finally be taller than her? Would his unruly hair get even wilder? Would he surpass the Rasengan with a new technique? And what about the mysterious red chakra? Perhaps he could learn to use it…

She'd been curious about Naruto's second chakra since she faintly sensed it during the fight with Zabuza and Haku. Once or twice she overheard Kakashi talking about it, though the subject usually changed when he detected her presence. She had come close to asking Naruto directly, but she lost her nerve at the last second. Obviously, he was keeping a secret, and whatever it was had to do with that chakra. If she wanted information, she'd have to dig it up herself.

As luck would have it, her new sensei's study contained an impressive library full of documents: journals, charts, case studies, reports, and other reference materials. Tsunade turned a blind eye to her apprentice's newfound interest in sifting through her shelves and allowed her to carry on as she wished. It was always better for pups to discover things on their own, after all. May as well pretend to be oblivious than let her know that she checked each of the documents Sakura looked through, and already knew what her errant student sought.

After a month of playing this game, Tsunade grew impatient, and decided to give Sakura a hand. Around the time the pink-haired girl was due for another day of training, Godaime removed a sheaf of papers bound in black leather from her desk drawer and dropped it on top of the desk so it would appear as if she had been studying it, then scattered a few other papers around to complete the illusion of leaving in a hurry. When the knock sounded on her study door, she was already gone.

“Sensei?” Sakura called, and opened the door a crack. “Sensei, are you there?” She pushed the door open the rest of the way. Tsunade's chair was empty, no trace of the older woman other than some books and papers littering her desk. The window behind the desk was open, emitting a soft breeze that stirred the curtains. She raised an eyebrow. Her sensei was never late. “Weird.” Stepping into the study, she closed the door and took a seat to the left of the desk, eyes scanning quickly over the clutter. A black leather-bound book caught her attention, and her fingers itched to pick it up, though she hesitated, feeling somewhat like a thief.

“She did say that I have free reign over the stuff in here,” Sakura told herself as her hands closed over the book. “So I'm really not overstepping my bounds…”

Good enough.

The book was open in an instant, fingers flying through the pages. One word stopped her, and she leaned down to read.

“Kyuubi…something…I can't make out the writing! Red chakra…another blot…” she looked a bit further down, “…Uzumaki Naruto…” Her eyes went wide. “Naruto?” Backtracking, she held the book up and squinted, determined to decipher the scribbles.

A moment later, the book tumbled from her trembling hands, and her heart beat a tattoo against her ribcage.

“Are you satisfied?”

Sakura looked up sharply. Godaime stood in the doorway, face unreadable.

She knew. She knew about what I was doing the whole time.

“I…” her throat constricted, and she had to bite her lip to keep tears at bay. The last thing she wanted was to cry in front of this woman, even if her tears were for her friend.

Tsunade examined her for a moment before she shook her head and sat behind her desk, expression soft. “I would've told you eventually, but I figured you wanted to do this alone.” She reached out and rested a hand on Sakura's shoulder.

“I never knew,” the pink-haired girl whispered, voice cracking. “I never even guessed. That's why all the adults were so cruel to him…all the children…” Head bowed so Tsunade could not see the traitorous tears, she squeezed her eyes shut. His whole life he'd been living with a demon sealed inside of him, the same demon responsible for the massacre of the village so many years ago…she could not begin to imagine how that must feel, how much pain and doubt and grief he suffered… “I did it, too!” She cried, and flung herself into Tsunade's arms, the battle against her tears lost. “I'm just as bad as the others!”

“Shh,” the blonde woman held her close, stroked her hair. “Hush, now. It's all right.”

“He's always been there for me,” Sakura sobbed, her chest tight, “And I was horrible to him! He cares about me, and I walked all over him!”

“He forgave you of that though, Sakura.”

Tsunade's was a voice of reason among chaos, a soothing wave of comfort that settled over her like a blanket. She lifted her face to see her sensei's smiling one.

“He's amazing, isn't he? The entire world could be against him, and he'd still find a way to succeed. You've seen who he is, Haruno Sakura. He's allowed you to be a part of his life, just like he took me in when he didn't have to. Embrace that, and move forward. The past is the past. Don't dwell on the `would haves' or the `should haves' or the `could haves', or you'll go mad. Naruto believes in you. Believe in him. Support him when he needs a friend. Laugh with him. Cry with him. Most of all, forgive yourself. He wouldn't want you to feel pain on his behalf.”

Sakura smiled back shakily, and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. “You're right. I won't show a sad face to him when he comes home.”

From that point on, she vowed to become stronger for him, so that she would be worthy of his friendship, of his forgiveness that she did not deserve, but he gave her freely, willingly.

And when she did see him again, one bright, sunny day, his excited laugh, exactly the same, one she'd recognize from miles away, she felt happiness that she hadn't felt in the three years since he left.

The first thing she noticed was his outfit. While still orange, his new jacket was more form fitting, with a black collar zipped to the chin, and black sleeves worn long. His orange pants cut off just above the ankle, and his sandals and forehead protector were also black. His hair was still shockingly blonde, and a bit longer on the sides. When he called out to her and made his way through the crowds, she compared her height with his: the top of her head came up to his shoulders.

Her heart gave a little thrill as his beautiful blue eyes sized her up, and then realized she was nervous all of a sudden. How did she look to him? There was not much she could do about the size of her chest. It had grown a bit, she supposed, though she was no Tsunade by any means. Her new pair of toeless boots accentuated her long legs; they were actually her mother's idea and the envy of Sakura's female counterparts.

As soon as she thought all this, she wondered why she cared so much about her appearance to begin with. Yes, Naruto had become quite attractive, she could not deny that, but he was still distinctly…Naruto. She never worried about her image in his eyes before, so why now?

“You haven't changed at all, Sakura-chan,” he told her with a grin, oblivious of the slightly crestfallen look she gave him in return.

Well, that answered that. No point in fretting anymore, clearly.

They had little time to talk before the two squared off against their former sensei Kakashi, giving Sakura the opportunity to show Naruto what she'd accomplished. The awestruck expression on his face when she smashed through soil and rock with her bare fist had been enough to raise her spirits tenfold, and she glowed with pride.

And once again, she wondered why.

I haven't seen him in ages. I'm just excited, that's all. And relieved that he returned to them in one piece. But she could not spare any more time dwelling on these emotions, because when she did, her knees went all wobbly and her hands shook, and she could not afford to lose her composure so soon after being reunited. Such conduct was hardly worthy of a Chuunin-level medic. So they talked of other things, about their year mates and friends, who had been promoted, and the goings-on in the village. Naruto even took her out on a `date' consisting of ramen at the Ichiraku while they enjoyed each other's company—with Kakashi present, of course.

Their happy reunion did not last for long. Soon, news reached Konoha that Akatsuki was on the move, and their efforts centered on Suna, the Village of the Sand. Their Kazekage, in an attempt to avert the danger from his village, offered himself in place of his people, and was being held at a location populated by Akatsuki members, whose intentions were to extract Shukaku, a tanuki demon, from his vessel in order to utilize his power for their own means.

Kakashi, Naruto, and Sakura were ordered to infiltrate the Akatsuki base and rescue Sabaku no Gaara, Kazekage of the Sand, as quickly as possible. Along the way, they stopped at Suna to gather information and for Sakura to heal Kankuro, Gaara's elder brother, who had been poisoned by a fellow puppeteer, the maker of his Karasu. Prior to their departure, the team acquired another member, old Chiyo, one of the Elders of the Sand.

Not long after they set off for their destination, Uchiha Itachi accosted them while his partner Kisame was dispatched to handle Gai's team, who followed not far behind. Sakura was not given much of a chance to fight, Kakashi and Naruto doing most of the work. She did prove herself useful when Naruto became ensnared in a powerful illusion spell, one that left him visibly shaken. Whatever he'd seen, it had been enough to sober him into silence after the battle concluded. Sakura ached to comfort him, but she did not for the life of her know how.

“…the Jinchuuriki will die…”

Chiyo's voice in her head brought her back to the present, grass brushing her exposed skin, eyes stinging and puffy from crying. Four hours ago, the Elder revealed how deeply twined the lives of the Bijuu, or demon elemental, and the Jinchuuriki, or carrier, were.

“If a Bijuu is removed…the Jinchuuriki will die…”

Naruto was a Jinchuuriki, Kyuubi a Bijuu.

Akatsuki made it clear that they would come after Naruto, and perform the same ritual on him that they now performed on Gaara.

Without Kyuubi, Naruto would die.

Sakura, unable to bear the thought of losing him like she lost Sasuke, allowed her tears to fall. Naruto took notice, breaking his silence to insist she not worry, that everything would be fine. And then he smiled the way he always did.

Eyes closed, Sakura pictured his smile. A world without that smile in it…could she imagine such a bleak place? Wherever Naruto went, he brought life and light and laughter. He was a candle in the dark, a bright beacon to guide the lost. The world needed a shepherd like Naruto. She needed him.

There. No more skeletons lurking in her closet. She confessed.

The walk cleared her head, as she hoped it would. Standing, she made her way back to the camp. Kakashi and Chiyo talked softly by the fire, both too engrossed in their conversation to take notice of her. Just as well. She didn't feel like chatting.

Her bedroll lay where she left it, beckoning for her to come rest. Ignoring the invitation, she settled beside Naruto instead.

He slept fitfully, mouth a grimace, hair matted to his forehead. Gently, she ran her fingers through it, pushing it away from his face. The crease between his eyebrows smoothed as she continued to stroke his hair, and his breathing evened.

“As long as I have life in me, I won't let anyone take your smile away,” she murmured near his ear.

A single tear fell from her eye and landed on his cheek.

The grimace faded.

“There's the smile I love,” whispered Sakura. “There's my purpose.”

Naruto heard her voice at the edge of his consciousness, a fading whisper so near, yet so far from his grasp. But that was okay. The knowledge of her being near was enough to satisfy him, and he continued to sleep.

He was awake in his dreams, looking at himself.

I'll save you Gaara, his dream self declared. Those bastards are gonna pay dearly. Just hold on a little longer. Don't throw in the towel yet.

How was this a dream? Those were the things he'd thought since the mission began…

The focus shifted.

Sasuke, you little prick, I'll beat you into the ground this time and drag you back in pieces if that's what it takes. This ain't fun and games anymore. I made a promise to Sakura, and I'll be damned if I break it.

A mist swirled before his dream-self, and Sakura emerged, a shimmering replica of the girl he loved with all his heart. She smiled at him the way she did in all his dreams, a smile that reached her eyes and lit her face. He reached for her, wanting something solid to hold.

Her smile became sad, and she shook her head.

No, fox. Not yet. We have a lot to do before that.

He lost track of where his real self began and his dream self ended.

I don't care. I want to hold you now…

You will soon. I promise.

Don't make promises you can't keep. You aren't the real Sakura, anyway. The real Sakura loves Sasuke, not me.

She cried for you.

No she didn't. She cried for Gaara…

True, some of those tears were meant for him, but they were mostly for you. She knows your secret. She told you herself. She's worried about you.

You're just trying to get my hopes up. She's already chosen Sasuke.

Do you truly believe that?

What else should I believe?

Naruto, don't be an ass. She does care about what happens to you, and you are well aware of it. You just hate it when she cries.

Was it possible to cry in dreams? Had to be. He was crying. And he felt it. The dream tears were as wet against his skin as real tears.

I never wanted to be the one to make her cry, damn you! I never wanted to be like Sasuke!

You are many things, Uzumaki Naruto, but I guarantee you that none of them is Uchiha Sasuke. Don't ever say something so juvenile again, please. Makes me want to commit homicide…

Dream Sakura crossed her legs Indian-style, the mist gathering together and condensing until it formed a sort of cushion for her to sit on. She looked pointedly at him.

Take a seat, partner. We've got business to discuss.

A similar mist/cushion appeared before him, and, not knowing what else to do, he sat, knuckling tears from his eyes.

So, am I going crazy? I'm talking serious to a figment of my imagination.

The whole damn world's crazy. You've managed to single out your craziness. Now you can be special like Sasuke, too. Isn't that great?

Naruto snorted.

Oh yeah. Fabulous. And you're doing a shitty job as Sakura, by the way. She's not nearly as sarcastic as you.

She ain't a flower, either, slick. Do you see these boots? Dream Sakura lifted one tantalizing leg. They can kick ass all the way to Rain Country. Your girl's got sass. She paused. I like that.

Not my girl, Naruto pointed out, eyes still fixed on that leg.

Bah, Dream Sakura waved a hand in dismissal. Minor technicality. You think of her as yours, and that's what matters here.

She was right, of course. Even though he knew she'd never love him, he did allow himself to hope that she'd experience a miraculous change of heart.

All right, all right, he conceded. You win.

Point for me. Dream Sakura winked.

Naruto rolled his eyes, and then his expression became one of regret.

I should have told her she looked beautiful. You know, when she asked me. It's just…she's always been beautiful to me…But I should have said she looked more beautiful.

You're not dead. You can still tell her.

She doesn't want to hear that from me, though. I'd scare her away.

So then don't tell her. Why are you bitching if you're not gonna do anything?

You don't get it! Snapped Naruto, frustrated. Sakura wants Sasuke. She's wanted him forever. I'm not Sasuke. I don't measure up. Hearing it from me is as meaningless as hearing it from…Kiba.

Dream Sakura laughed out loud. Oh, I see. You have a whole arsenal of ready-made excuses to draw from. Very convenient!

It's not an excuse! I want—

What? You want what?

Her! I want to protect her, and I want her to rely on me to make things better, and I want to see her face when I wake up in the morning, and when I go to sleep at night, and I want her to love me the way she loves Sasuke! I know I'm clumsy sometimes, and I know I'm not perfect, but…I want to be perfect for her…

Don't you feel better now? Dream Sakura smiled knowingly. Emptying of the conscience is always so much fun.

Come to mention it, he did feel better.

But then reality intruded. He remembered what would happen when he returned to the waking world, and what was at stake.

I'm terrified for Gaara. Terrified. He's exactly like me…and he's in trouble. If I don't make it in time…

Stop. Cease. Desist. No `ifs.' It's either you do, or you don't.

I will.

What'll you do if you don't?

You said no `ifs.'

Ha, ha! Very good. I'm proud of you. However, since I am your conscience, I'm obligated to say this. You might fail your mission, Naruto, and then Gaara will be dead. You'll have to make peace with that on the road. There won't be time to mourn, and there won't be time to beat yourself up about it, either. You must be able to function. Akatsuki doesn't give a rat's ass if your ability to defend yourself has flown out the window because of grief, and if they get you, it's all over. Do you understand?

Naruto did not want to hear this, wanted to ignore it. He wouldn't fail. He wouldn't. And yet…

Yes. I…I understand.

Thank God you've got Sakura watching your back, that's all I have to say. She'll take care of you.

What do you mean?

I've gotta go. There's my cue. Keep your chin up, kid.

Wait! Sakura!

He woke up. Kakashi, Chiyo, and the real Sakura sat around him, packs loaded and strapped to their backs.

“We have to move now,” said Chiyo quietly. “Are you rested enough?”

Naruto groggily nodded his head `yes,' then tried to maneuver into a sitting position. Sakura was there in an instant to help, lithe hands supporting him. He turned his head and looked into her eyes, and she did not look away. Even now, his heart still melted. “Thanks, Sakura-chan,” he smiled.

She smiled back. “Come on. Let's go save our friend.”