Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Wild Days ❯ Reports! ( Chapter 4 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto

Chapter 4: Reports!

Hmm... What should I do first? Ramen? Or a nice long nap? Naruto thought to himself as he walked home after making his report. He stared up at the sky. I suppose I could stop on the way, but I'm really tired. But it's ramen! I wouldn't fall asleep in ramen. He yawned widely. Then again, maybe I would. He stared longingly at the ramen stand as he walked past. Dammit! He scuttled over to the ramen stand.

"Ramen, ramen." He chanted as he sat down, grinning at the old man. "Ramen, please!" He demanded, and began slurping when it was placed in front of him. Halfway through his fifth bowl, he could feel his eyelids fighting to close. "That'll be it for me old man."

A surprised glance shot his way.

"Just got back from a mission, my bed calls to me with more attraction than free all-you-can-eat ramen." Naruto left with a jaunty, if sleepy, wave. He stumbled home, not noticing a most of the people he ran into or held onto, leaving one Sasuke Uchiha staring after him after being used as a napping post for five solid minutes.

"Naruto!" He glared after his teammate, a dash of red staining his face. "I hope he falls in the river." He was too tired himself to realize he had been used by his so-called rival long enough to draw more than a few stray looks. He stumbled off towards his own home.

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"I understand. Make sure the appropriate measures are taken in securing the area." With a sigh, Dai turned back to his paperwork. That was the fifth attack this week, and it was only wednesday. It had begun when news of the attack at Konoha had arrived, and it was just getting worse. There'd been a swarm of sand beetles, a sandstorm, what he was sure qualified as an earthquake, though the villagers had told him quite clearly it was just the sand under the village shifting, and five sparring matches, each of which resulted in what he would have called the sand shifting under the village. And his superior officer had no idea why he couldn't drag Gaara out of his office every spare minute to spar some more.

"I need him to do his paperwork, dammit." He muttered as he tossed another sheet in the 'to-be-signed' box. "And he needs a Sand secretary to do Sand's paperwork. I need to do my own work! I can't write my report if I'm writing theirs." He looked up when the door opened, and immediately jumped to his feet. "No! No way! Lee-san, you can not have another sparring match with Gaara! He needs to actually get some paperwork done! It's piling up to where I can't see over my desk."

Lee smiled at him calmly. Calmly! "Relax, Dai-san. I'm just bringing lunch this time. See?" Lee held up a tray and a paper bag. "I swear I won't drag him out of his office till this afternoon."

"Oh, Ok then." He wasn't taking the signing power away then. Wait. "Lee-san! You can't take him this afternoon! That's when the most papers come in!" But Lee was gone, and the door to Gaara's office securely closed. "Damn." He kicked his desk and fell into his chair. "Maybe I can learn to forge the Kazekage's handwriting."

Lee closed the door between himself and Dai with a sigh. He knew he shouldn't be bothering Gaara to spar all the time, but it was so much fun, and he was so bored the rest of the time, because Dai didn't trust him, not after he'd attempted to teach Lee the 'proper' way to write a report.

"Gaara, I brought lunch."

"Hm. Put it down over there, Lee." The grim Kazekage waved in the direction of his desk. He was currently sitting in the window, watching the people outside with a stack of papers beside him.

Lee sighed again. If he did that, Gaara wouldn't eat. He'd look at it, look at his papers, and pick up his pen instead of his fork. It was why he was still a runt. Lee pulled the desk chair over to the window and sat on it, tray in his lap. Quickly putting together a plate, he held it steadily over Gaara's paper, blocking his view. "Eat, Gaara. You won't if I put it over there."

A glare shifted from the plate to Lee, who simply ignored it. "Why do you care?"

It was a good question. Gaara had never been nice to Lee. Had, in fact, gone out of his way on some occasions to be mean to him. Though he had saved Lee's life. "Umm, I can't spar with you if you faint from exhaustion and starvation?"

"That's the only reason?" There was no inflection in Gaara's voice to say what he thought about that.

Lee thought it might be wise to elaborate. "Well, you're my friend too. I don't want one of my friends to get sick when I can help. And I can help with this. I get you out of your office for fresh air, you actually eat more than one meal a day, which isn't very healthy I'll have you know, and we both get exercise against a Worthy Opponent. And--"

"Enough Lee. No need to get wound up."

"But, Gaara--"

"I'm eating Lee." He made a point of taking another bite. "See?" he said when he swallowed.

Lee watched him take another bite before he began to eat his own food.

"Gaara?" He aked when he was finished.

"Yes, Lee?"

"Find me something to do."

Gaara looked up from his next sheet, puzzled. "What do you mean?"

"I'm bored. All I have to do is spar with you, annoy Dai-san, and make sure you eat. I could run laps around Suna, but--"

"Do inspections."

"Huh?"

"Tests, inspections, whatever. Go around the barracks and inspect them, or test the other ninjas' abilities. Spar with them all and give me reports. Then inspect their living quarters and give me more reports." Gaara's attention was on his paper, so he didn't see the shock on Lee's face.

"You want me to write... reports?"

Gaara glanced up, and if Lee hadn't been in shock he might've noticed that the corner of his friend's mouth twitched upwards befoere it was controlled. "Yes, Lee. Do you have a problem with that?"

"N-no. But, I actually get to write reports?"

"Yes, Lee. You get to write reports. And I get more paperwork done. And you get to spar every day, because you start over at the beginning when you're done, and tell me what's improved. I want to know how good my ninja are, and you'll tell me."

Lee left Gaara's office with a huge grin on his face, and a good mood nothing could destroy. If any ninja in the village wondered why, their questions would be answered in the form of a sparring match the the Green Beast of Konoha, and lots of bruises.

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"Ahh, Shikamaru, you're home." His father called when he stepped in the front door.

"Yeah." Shikamaru yawned. "I'm tired, old man. I spent the last six hours reporting what I found out to Tsunade, and before that it was traveling from Rock to here nonstop. So leave me alone."

"Oh? Your friend stopped by every day to see if you were back yet, you know."

"Really?" Shikamaru was too tired to put much effort into hiding his happiness at that.

"And he said he'd wait till you got back to open the present."

Maybe a grunt would hide it better? "Hn." Much better. Now he knew why Neji and Shino answered that way so often. Plus it sounded smarter. Kind of.

"Just letting you know."

"Hn." He walked down the hall, stepping into his room with another yawn. He froze in his steps when his yawn ended, eyes focused on the center of his room.

Or more specifically, the man lying there, stretched out on his stomach and asleep with his face in a book. Shikamaru grinned, then chuckled, then just laughed, sitting down on the floor and clutching his sides. Neji was asleep in a book. So long as Shikamaru had known him, Neji had never fallen asleep while reading, much less fallen asleep on his friend's floor.

"Hey, Neji." He called, shaking his friend's shoulder. "I know that book is boring, but it doesn't deserve to be drooled on."

"H-huh?"

"Up, Neji, awake." Shikamaru grinned. He'd never actually seen Neji wake up before. Usually on missions, Neji was the first one up, and had a pot of coffee half-empty before anyone else even realized it was morning.

"Shikamaru?"

"Yeah. I'm home."

Neji stretched on the floor, looking like an overgrown cat, before shaking his head violently to clear the sleep from it. "Sorry, guess I fell asleep."

"Lucky you. I got to spend the last six hours reporting to Tsunade."

Neji winced in sympathy. Reporting to Tsunade. Uhg. "How did the mission go?"

"I would say quietly, but Naruto was there. Did you have any missions to do?"

"Just one with Gai-sensei. I'm not entirely sure what it was for."

"Knowing him, it could be anything."

"Exactly. What did you learn?" Neji was awake enough now to control his voice, erasing any curiosity from it.

"That we're in for one hell of a war these next few years. They've got at least thirty-three squads of soldiers, and who knows how many ninja teams. They're being slipped in left and right from what we heard. Trained by a mysterious man who showed up one day three years ago and took every available child with him for training. Rumors say both that the Tsuchikage supports him, and that he supports the Tsuchikage. Either way, it doesn't sound good for us. Another week or two, at the least, before we start hearing of larger-scale attacks, but for now, it's probably just a squad or two of ninja from Rock, or one of the countries they're pressuring, like that attack from Rain." Shikamaru took advantage of Neji's seeming laziness, lying flat beside him.

"There've been more of those, by the way."

"Figures." He banged the floor lightly with a fist. "Wish we knew why we make such appealing targets."

"There were five attacks in Sand, as well, up until wednesday. And Lee got a job writing reports."

Shikamaru shot upright. "What?"

"Gaara told him to spar with every ninja in Sand, and write a report on their abilities, then do it again and write up their improvements." Neji couldn't help but grin. "I think he's crazy."

"He has to be! Everybody in Konoha has tried to teach Lee to write reports, and the only one who could even stand to read the results was Gai. He has to know that!" Shikamaru was wide awake.

"It might work."

Shikamaru's stare shifted to Neji. "Now I think you're going crazy."

"Nobody thought to have him simply write so many he got tired of thinking up adjectives." Lazily, he stretched his arms up behind his head.

"That's true, but who can stand to read the ones before that happens? I think nine in ten words were capitalized, and the other one should have been. And he insisted on reading it out loud. Out loud!"

"You're yelling Shikamaru."

Shikamaru laid back down, a calculated amount closer to Neji. Enough so he felt like he was trying and not enough to arouse any suspicion. Or so he hoped, anyway. He'd spent a great deal of his time on the mission waiting, and while waiting, thinking. Hopefully he might actually get somewhere.

It was a method he'd seen used often enough with wild animals. Slowly, get closer and closer to them, letting them get used to your presence, your closeness, before you sprang the next bit on them. Although judging by Neji's reaction, or lack thereof, to the dust mote concentration training, he may not be doing too badly.

"Sorry. Not--" A yawn interuppted him. "--ahh, at my best right now."

"Go to sleep. I was just thinking of finishing this book anyway. I have until tomorrow morning off." He lifted the book, flipping over onto his back in the patch of sunlight.

"That's a good idea." Shikamaru's words were punctuated by another yawn. He thought for a moment, then stretched out, placing his head squarely on Neji's stomach, like he had the week before.

"Shikamaru!"

"Hm?" He mumbled sleepily.

"Sleep in your bed!"

"Warm here."

"Yes, because--" Neji gave up when Shikamaru's mumbles turned into faint snores. "Again. Why does the most comfortable spot on the floor have to be in the sun?"

"Because when you're not here, that's where my son sits." Shikamaru's dad entered the room. "Relax, boy." He said when he saw how tense Neji had become. "I just brought snacks. Not that either of you will be able to eat them, laying like that." He settled onto the floor, helping himself to a sandwich.

Neji flushed, to which the elder Nara stared before chuckling loudly. "Didn't I tell you to relax? I won't bite, and neither will he." He gestured to his sleeping son. "Unless you want him to of course." He added thoughtfully, pretending not to notice Neji's jerk of surprise.

"So, did you open your birthday present yet?" The man asked, relishing his ability to mess with the heads of children.

"No, Nara-san. He came home, we talked of our missions, and he fell asleep. On me." Neji looked down at Shikamaru's head with barely concealed curiosity. "Why doesn't he just tell me to move?"

"Maybe he wants to share his sunlight." Shikaku finished his sandwich and stood. "Well, I better go and see what else there is to do." He strolled out of the room.

Usually, Neji thought, Shikamaru is almost willing to fight for the best sun. Why would he want to share with me?

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A/N: Ummmmm... It's been a while. I write when inspiration strikes, not come hell or high water. And I write especially well when my math teacher has been a b**** and I need to let off steam. Even if this is all I got from... a little more than four hours work. Although a lot of that was spent messing with music and scanning my internet favorites here and elsewhere for updates.
Anyway, please, read and review. I appreciate anything I get, even if I don't say so directly.