Naruto Shippuden Fan Fiction ❯ What a Lovely Turn of Events ❯ No one parties like the Akatsuki ( Chapter 8 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

It was now November. Sasori's and Evelynn's birthdays were coming up, and Gina was in her ninth month of pregnancy. Missions were put on hold, except for Zetsu, as the girls were trained. Right now Shoto, Evelynn, Audrey, Konan, and Gina were outside in the clearing they found in a forest nearby practicing and studying.

"We need headbands!" Evelynn declared.

"We're not part of a village." Shoto stated calmly. She was currently studying the human anatomy, so she could aim her senbon at the human vitals.

"Yeah, I know that, but we could get headbands with the kanji for 'Akatsuki' on them!"

"That's actually not a bad idea." Konan said thoughtfully. She was training with Audrey, who was getting more and more skilled at evasion. Having been distracted, Konan barely managed to dodge Audrey's boomerang shuriken that was tossed at her.

"Sorry Konan!" Audrey yelled out to her as she caught the weapon that made its way back to her. She ran over to see what they were talking about. "What's going on."

"Evelynn suggested we get headbands with the Akatsuki kanji on it." Gina explained. She was sitting under a tree studying on of the medical books.

"Kakuzu won't like that, if Nagato agrees." The brunette snickered. She wanted as Evelynn punched a tree, and completely knocked it over.

"Well, Kakuzu can live with it." The red-head studied her handy work appreciatively.

"I guess it would be nice." Shoto said. "I mean, right now the one's who do have headbands only have a slash across it to show they disregard their village. Maybe if we got our own headbands other villages would see us as a true organization, if they don't already."

"I can see the sense in that." Gina said carefully.

"I'll make sure to bring it up to Nagato." Konan stated, sending a wave of explosive tags at Audrey.

The brunette barely managed to dodge. "Hey!"

-Time skip!-

It was November sixth, and they were going to celebrate Sasori's and Evelynn's birthdays. Konan had brought up the forehead protector idea to Nagato, who agreed to do so. This caused Kakuzu to almost have a heart attack. The miser muttering something about the money it would cost to get fifteen head protectors made. Since Evelynn had insisted they get one for Adrian as well. Regardless, Kakuzu had found someone who was willing, and placed the order in. They would get them in two weeks tops.

Now, everyone was getting ready for Evelynn's and Sasori's party. What that meant was Itachi and Gina were taking Adrian to a nearby village to an inn where they would spend the night, and Hidan had gone out to buy alcohol. Lots of alcohol.

"Now, you be really good, and I'll make sure to buy you a new teddy bear, okay?" Evelynn cooed at Adrian. He had mentioned he was really sad with his old teddy bear, Eskimo.

"Okay, mother." Adrian grinned up at her. Evelynn kissed his forehead, and Sasori pulled him into a hug.

"Be good, and we love you." Sasori muttered to the boy, kissing his temple. Kisame was sure to tease him later for the open act of affection.

"Goodbye mother, goodbye Sasori. I love you!" Adrian cried in his little kid voice. After they said their goodbyes, Itachi and Gina took off with him.

A couple hours later Hidan appeared with the alcohol, and the party was started. Almost as soon as he walked in the door Evelynn grabbed a bottle of sake and drank deeply.

"Hell yeah!" she cheered. "To another year alive!"

"To another year alive" Sasori smirked and clanked his bottle against Evelynn's. Both taking a swing of the alcohol.

Soon, everyone was completely wasted.

Kisame and Audrey were standing on the kitchen table, and Kisame had a lamp shade on his head. They were singing "Don't go breaking my heart" by Elton John. A song Audrey had taught him. Kakuzu was filming them for black mail later. Deidara was chasing Hidan around, trying to blow him up. Apparently, Hidan thought it would be funny to get a fake pregnancy test, and convince Deidara Audrey was pregnant. Since he and Audrey hadn't been intimate yet the intoxicated Deidara thought Audrey was cheating on him. Shoto made it a point to let Deidara know Audrey never left the hideout without him. On this realization Deidara began chasing Hidan down.

Evelynn and Sasori were in the living room, and Sasori was teaching Evelynn how to dance. Well, trying to. Seeing as how they were very, very drunk.

"No, you have to move to the left!" Sasori snapped.

"I'm directionally challenged!" Evelynn cried as she tried to move her right foot.

"Ouch! You stepped on my foot!"

"Well move your foot out of my way!"

"You're supposed to be following my lead!"

"Well, you're a crappy leader!"

"You are a crappy leader!"

"I'm not the one leading, Sasori!"

"Ouch, get off my foot!"

"Stop putting your foot under mine!"

"Well, if you'd just listen.."

"Well, if you'd just teach a little better.."

This argument went on for an hour.

On the coffee table, a little ways away from where Sasori and Evelynn were, Sasuke and Nagato were having an arm-wrestling match.

"Come on, Nagato! Take him out!" Konan wailed.

"Come on, Sasuke! I bet money on you!" Yahiko cried.

"When did you bet money on him?" Shoto slurred, looking at Yahiko.

The ginger thought for a moment.

"Oh.. I didn't.. Come on, Nagato! You can get this guy!" Yahiko suddenly exclaimed.

Finally, after ten minutes of struggling, Sasuke pinned Nagato's hand down.

"You did it!" Shoto wailed. She threw her arms around her boyfriend, and then continued to roll around on the living room floor making out.

"I can't believe this. I'm leader of the Akatsuki, and I can't even win an arm wrestling match!" Nagato looked almost in tears as he clutched his head, and leaned on the coffee table.

Yahiko patted his friends back comfortingly.

-Time skip!-

The next morning everyone realized none of them made it to their rooms. Evelynn and Sasori had fallen asleep in the arm chair in rather uncomfortable looking angles. Konan, Yahiko, and Nagato were dog piled on one of the couches. No one even wanted to know how that turned out. Hidan and Deidara had passed out in the hallway that led to the bathroom and the medical room. Audrey was sleeping under the kitchen table, Kisame was curled up on the other couch in the living room, and Sasuke and Shoto had somehow managed to curl up together under the coffee table. Sasuke was only in his boxers.

The first to wake was Evelynn, surprisingly. She untangled herself from Sasori, and stumbled to the kitchen to get coffee started. Since so many of them lived together, they had two coffee makers. On her way, she caught sight of Audrey under the table, clutching the lampshade.

"Audrey." Evelynn muttered, nudging the brunette with her foot. The woman stirred.

"I didn't kill any carrots." Audrey muttered.


"Huh? Oh, Evelynn."

"Why are you under the kitchen table?"

"I haven't the slightest."


Evelynn helped Audrey up, and together they got the coffee started. Once they had heir mugs they managed to find two chairs and sit at the table.

"My head is killing me." Audrey groaned.


Next to stumble into the kitchen were Sasuke and Shoto.

"Has anyone seen my clothes?" Sasuke muttered.

"Why are you naked?" Evelynn asked in amusement. The Uchiha just glared at her.

"There's a pair of pants in the sink." Audrey informed him.

Nodding, Sasuke went and claimed his pants. To this day no one knows how they got there.

Hidan came tumbling in next.

"Where the fuck is the coffee? Oh my Jashin, I'm pretty sure I'm going to die."

"You're immortal, Hidan." Shoto reminded him.

"Oh, right.."

Next to enter were Konan, Yahiko, and Nagato. They didn't bother to say anything. They just grabbed a cup of coffee, and sat with the others at the table. After a few minutes Evelynn decided to go wake Sasori. She crawled into the living and up to the arm chair.

"Wake up." She poked his nose. He waved her hand away, so she tried again. "Wake up!"

"Evelynn, if you don't leave me alone right this second I will poison your next cup of coffee" the puppeteer growled.

Evelynn stood up, and yanked him off the armchair. Sasori jumped up and chased her around the kitchen for ten minutes.

Finally, Deidara, Kisame, and Kakuzu woke up. Deidara plopped next to Audrey on the floor, and laid his head against her thigh. Evelynn and Sasori had finally calmed down. Evelynn was now sitting on Sasori's lap, and both were sipping from their coffee mugs. After Kisame and Kakuzu got their coffee and sat down everyone looked sleepily around at each other.

"Man, that was one fucking party, huh?" Hidan broke the silence.

Everyone agreed. No one parties the like Akatsuki parties.

'What the hell would all the village leaders think, if they saw the Akatsuki drunk or hungover?' Nagato thought to himself with a small smile.

I don't actually know if there's a kanji for the word Akatsuki or not, but we'll just play pretend there is, okay? Okay.

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