Neon Genesis Evangelion Fan Fiction ❯ Shinji's Decision ❯ Awakenings/ Will you do it one more time? ( Chapter 2 )

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

Shinji's Decision

Part 2 - version: 1 completed 12/12/99
version 2 completed 15/12/99
version 3 completed 22/4/2001

By Jeff Mullier
Email: jmullier@idl.net.au

Copyright notice
Neon Genesis Evangelion and associated characters are copyright Gainax
and associated companies.

Author Notes
I hope I haven't made any of the characters act wildly out of character.
Also this fic contains spoilers. It takes place after episode 24 and ignores
events in episodes 25,26 & the movies.
Any comments and suggestions would be appreciated.

Thanks to Greg Thomas for pre reading this part.

Additional notes for version 3
Well I have changed the writing style of this part. Also reworked several
areas, especially some parts of Shinji's dream sequence.

******************************************
Shinji's Decision
Part Two - Awakenings/ Will you do it one more time?

Gendo Ikari's Office

Gendo and Fuyutsuki are discussing the day's events. Fuyutsuki is sitting
down on one side of the desk; Gendo is sitting down on the other side
with his hands steepled in front of his face. Fuyutsuki comments, "It
would appear that the report was correct."

Gendo coldly replies, "Yes it would appear that it was. My son has acted
exactly how I expected him to."

'Its times like this I wounder about you Ikari.' "So I take it this was
in the 'scenario'."

"Correct. Everything is coming into place. The time will be soon upon us."

'I wounder Ikari, has it all been worth it?' "And what of SEELE?"

"My sources reveal that the old men won't act until all nine production
series are finished. They currently only have five finished, it will
apparently take at least six more months to finish the other units."

"I see."

Gendo then orders Fuyutsuki, "Contact major Katsuragi, tell her I wish
to see her."

Fuyutsuki frowns slightly as he replies, "Is that wise? She won't be in
a very receptive frame of mind at the moment, considering recent events."

Gendo coldly replies, "That is exactly what I expect."

"So you have already worked out how major Katsuragi will react and your
responses to her?"

"Correct."

'One day Ikari someone or something will not react exactly as you expect.
I only hope that for everyone's sake that the outcome of that happening
isn't terminal........ for all of humanity.'
-------------------------------------------------------- -------------

Emergency Ward - Nerv Hospital

An extremely worried looking Misato is pacing outside the emergency room
doors. 'I should have seen it coming. He was so depressed for the last
week, I should have tried harder to comfort him. I wondered why his
attitude suddenly changed this morning, he must have made his decision
during that walk yesterday. He must have gone to see Asuka and Touji to
say goodbye.......... Why now Shinji? Kaworu was supposedly the 17th and
last angel, so all of this should be over soon. Why couldn't you wait?'
A doctor comes out of the emergency room, Misato rushes up to see him
and asks, "How is he doctor?"

The doctor calmly replies, "Well, it was a close call for a while, if he was
left for another hour he would have been dead. At the moment he is in a
serious but stable condition, he his breathing on his own though and will
probably be nearly fully recovered in three days."

A worried Misato then asks, "Any chance of permanent damage?"

"None."

"So when he recovers, he will have to be treated for what caused him to
do this to himself?"

"Yes. I would imagine that you have some idea why he took this action?"

"Yes I do. Unfortunately as you know, he does have a rather stressful job.
He has had some rather unpleasant things happen to him and around him
lately and I think that it all just came too much for him to cope with."

"Yes he does. I had warned Doctor Akagi about this happening to one of
the pilots. But she said that the commander was aware of the problem and
wished to do nothing about it."

Before she can reply Misato's mobile phone rings and she reaches into her
jacket pocket to answer it. She turns to the doctor and says to him,
"Excuse me doctor." She then walks a short distance away and answers the
phone, "Hello, yes. Yes, vice commander, the commander wishes to see me,
but I am at the hospital seeing how Shinji is. Yes sir I understand, I will
be there right away." She then turns the phone off, and growls in anger,
"arrrrgh." 'What could that cold bastard of want with me, its not like he
will be worried about his son; he never has been before, unless he has
some use for him. Maybe he plans to get rid of me now as he no longer
has a use for me either.' Misato then starts walking towards Gendo's office.
--------------------------------------------------------------- -------

Gendo Ikari's Office

Misato is struggling to keep her emotions under control as she walks up to
Gendo's office and knocks on the door. Gendo's voice orders through the
door intercom, "Come in major."

Misato walks into Gendo's office. Gendo is sitting down at his desk in
his usual position with his hands steepled in front of his face. Fuyutsuki
is standing next to him. Once Misato is standing at attention in front of
Gendo's desk she asks, "You wished to see me sir?"

Without moving his hands Gendo coldly replies, "Yes major Katsuragi, I
did. I take it that you have been visiting the third child in hospital?"

After hearing Gendo's tone Misato struggles to contain her anger. 'He
can't even call his own son by his name.' "Yes I was."

"You are to tell no one that he is in hospital you understand? And if
by some chance they do find out that he is in hospital the true
circumstances of his admission to hospital are not to be revealed."

"Yes sir. But why?"

In a commanding tone Gendo replies, "That is none of your concern major.
Also no one is allowed to visit him in hospital at all. This order also
includes yourself."

While she was expecting Gendo to be cold hearted, his order shocks
Misato, "……Why?"

"I have my reasons, again it is none of your concern major Katsuragi.
In fact after letting this happen to him, think yourself lucky if I let him
remain living with you after this."

Misato looses control of her temper after hearing this and angrily replies,
"Arrrrgh. MY FAULT!!!!!! YOU THINK THAT THIS MY FAULT?
DON'T YOU THINK I TRIED TO COMFORT HIM? I TOOK HIM INTO
MY HOME, I TREATED HIM ALMOST LIKE HE WAS MY OWN SON.
IF ANYONE IS AT FAULT IT IS YOU BECAUSE OF YOUR COLD
HEARTED ATTITUDE TOWARDS HIM."

In an attempt to stop Misato angering Gendo any further, Fuyutsuki sternly
commands her, "That's enough major Katsuragi." 'I don't entirely disagree
with you major, but there is nothing you or I can do to change his mind.'

With a hint of anger in his voice Gendo tells Misato, "I take it that you
don't want to be in the cell next to your former friend Dr Akagi? Or would
you prefer the fate I had you deliver to that spy Ryouji Kaji?"

Misato calms down a little before she answers, "No sir." 'You cold hearted
bastard.'

"Then you will follow my orders. Dismissed."

Misato turns and gathers all of her self control and walks calmly out of
Gendo's office. Once she is the hallway outside and the door has shut it
is another matter though. She yells in frustration , "AAARRRRRGGGHHHH."
---------------------------------------------------- ----------------

Shinji's Mind - the next day

In Shinji's mind the image of an old train carriage appears, he is sitting with his
head bowed on one side of the carriage. Seated on the opposite side silhouetted
by the bright light coming in through the window is a younger version of
himself. The younger version of Shinji scornfully asks him, "So, you tried
to run away from reality again."

Shinji calmly replies, "I didn't run away."

"No, you didn't physically run away from Nerv this time, but isn't what
you have done the same?"

Ashamed Shinji stares at the floor and replies, ": ....... I suppose so."

"By trying to kill yourself, you were trying to leave all of this behind you."

"Yes. I have had enough of all this pain."

"So you were just going to end it all and to hell with the consequences?"

"Yes."

"And leave everyone who cares for you behind?"

"Yes."

"Kaworu was right you know."

"What do you mean?"

"He may have been an angel but what he said about you being afraid of
others is true."

"What do you mean?"

"About what he said about you being afraid of getting too close to someone
out of fear of them hurting you."

"Maybe I am. But even he caused me pain. Like I said I have had enough
of all this pain, it is not worth living any more."

Shinji's answer angers the younger Shinji who unsympathetically replies,
"NO YOU ARE WRONG, while the pain is not pleasant, it is a unfortunate
part of life. Don't you remember what Kaji told you about pain making it
easier to be kind to others?"

"Y..yes I do."

"You seem to have forgotten what he meant though. You do feel for your
friends don't you?"

Shinji replies, "Yes, I do."

"And they care for you in return."

"They only care for me because I pilot Unit 01."

"You are wrong, that's what you wish to believe, but your friends do
care for the real Shinji Ikari."

Puzzled by what the younger version of himself is referring to Shinji
asks, " ......The real Shinji Ikari?"

"Yes the real Shinji Ikari. Despite the rather low opinion you have of
yourself, you are not a coward, or a wimp, or a totally worthless person,
you only think that you are."

"You are wrong."

The younger Shinji angrily tells Shinji, "NO! It is you that wrong."

"But why would they care for me?"

"Because they consider you a good friend."

Shinji hesitates before softly replying, "Perhaps they do........"

"They care enough to worry about you when you are hurt, as well as forgiving
you for any mistakes that you may make."

"But why would they forgive me? Especially after what I have done?"

"Sigh..... because they are your friends. Touji has forgiven you twice."

"Twice?"

"Yes twice. He came and saw you when you were leaving after the battle
with the 4th angel. Before that battle he blamed you for the injuries his
sister suffered during the attack of the 3rd angel. But he realised that he
was wrong and came to say goodbye to you at the train station, he even
wanted you to hit him so there would be no hard feelings between the
two of you. And of course there was just the other day as well. When he
told you despite what happened to him during the thirteenth angel, he
doesn't blame you and he still considers you his friend."

"Yes he does. Touji and Kensuke are good friends, although they are trying
to embarrass me most of the time."

"That is a sign that they are true friends. They are just trying to make you
loosen up a little."

"I suppose that you are right."

"But they are not your only friends. Rei is one as well, you even told her
yourself before you did this to yourself."

"…..Yes… Rei……how could I forget her."

"She may have been the second Rei instead of the current one, but she cared
enough to say that she would protect you during the attack of the 5th angel.
And protect you she did, didn't she. Even if it meant that she may have
been injured or even killed."

"Yes she did."

"And of course we won't forget what she did for you during the attack of
the 16th angel."

" ......... Yes ......... I could never forget that...... especially considering
what I found out afterwards."

"She was concerned for you when you were in hospital after the attack
of the 12th angel."

"What do you mean?"

"Don't you remember her telling you that you could rest as both her and
Asuka would take care of everything. And how she was pleased to find
out that were feeling fine. She does really care for you, you know."

"Yes she does."

"Someone else who cares for you was going to visit you that time as well."

Shinji soon realises who the younger version of himself is referring to and
asks, " ......Asuka?"

"Yes, Asuka was going to see how you were that time, but it would appear
that she changed her mind after seeing Rei leave the room."

Shinji dryly replies, "She was probably only going to torment me some more."

"But Asuka does care for you, she came to see how you were after the battle
with the 14th angel, didn't she?"

"Yes she did, I think that she was curious about what happened to me, its not
like she likes me or anything, in fact she probably detests me by the way
she treats me."

"But she does care for you, don't you remember the images and feelings from
Asuka's memories of you that you saw when you did the sync tests in Unit 02."

"Then why did she hide them from me?"

"She is like you, she has trouble expressing her true feelings towards others.
Anyway she did sort of try to tell you when she came and saw you in hospital
after the 14th angel, but you were too shocked about what she told you to
recognise it."

FLASHBACK
Nerv Hospital room 107 - 31 days after the battle with the 14th angel

Shinji is laying in bed asleep; Asuka is sitting in a chair beside the bed.
Shinji slowly awakens and tries to focus his eyes .As the ceiling comes
into focus he soon realises where is he is. "Uh .. ......Not here again. I
hate this place."

Asuka greets him, "Welcome back third child."

Surprised by hearing Asuka's voice Shinji looks around and sees that she
is sitting in a chair next to his hospital bed. ".......Asuka!!! Wh ....what
are you doing here?"

Peeved by Shinji's reaction to her being there Asuka irately replies,
"Humph. What do you expect you baka? I came to see how you were after
your ...... little disappearing act, just don't get any ideas though."

Asuka's answer puzzles Shinji so he asks her, "Disappearing act? What do
you mean Asuka? I was going to leave Tokyo 3 and Nerv for good. But after
I saw that both Unit 02 and Unit 00 were ............ um disabled while I was
talking to Kaji and decided to come back and fight. I remember Unit 01
loosing power while I was fighting the angel. What happened? Did it go
berserk again? I don't know what happened after it lost power."

Asuka stares at Shinji in amazement as she asks, "You don't remember a
thing? Especially after being gone for so long?"

"What do you mean by I was gone for so long? I have only been unconscious
for a day haven't I?"

With a very slight hint of concern in her voice Asuka tells him, "No. You
were gone for a month you baka!"

Shinji's eyes widen in surprise at hearing this and he asks Asuka, ".......A
month! What do you mean by gone?" ." 'What in the world is she going
on about?'

Asuka stares at Shinji puzzled by his apparent lack of knowledge of what
happened to him, "You really don't remember a thing do you?"

Shinji loses his patience at not knowing what Asuka is talking about and
irately tells her, "No I don't."

"I shouldn't be telling you this, you were absorbed by Unit 01 when it
went berserk."

While Asuka's reply did answer Shinji's question it just manages to
puzzle him even further so he asks her, "…..Absorbed?"

"Yes you dissolved into LCL. Apparently all that was left in the entry plug
was your plug suit floating in the LCL. For a month you were nothing but
liquid." After hearing this Shinji's eyes widen in amazement and he just
stares at Asuka. She ignores his reaction and asks him, "So Shinji, why did
you come back? I thought that you said that were leaving for good and you
were never going to pilot Unit 01 again."

" ..... Well I was sitting in the shelter during the attack when.... Um……."
'How do I mention this to her, without getting hit?' "When Unit 02's head
demolished half of the shelter."

Asuka frowns at being reminded about that and angrily tells Shinji, "We
won't talk about that, all right."

Shinji gulps at Asuka's reaction and then continues, "Yes. Anyway after
that I got out of the remains of the shelter when I saw Kaji watering his
garden. I asked him what he was doing there, he asked me the same thing.
I told him that I had decided never to pilot unit 01 again, he replied by
saying that as he was no longer on the combat roster he would like to be
doing something that gives him pleasure when he dies, as if the angel came
into contact with Adam which is held in the very heart of Nerv, third impact
would occur. While we were talking Unit 00 appeared still missing one
arm and without a rife, all it was armed with was an N2 mine."

"So that's what wondergirl tried to do, but she didn't succeed did she?"

"No she didn't. After the angel disabled Unit 00 and it looked like it was
going to be unopposed. Kaji told me that there was something only I could
do against the angel. That's when I realised it was up to me to stop the angel,
if I didn't fight it everybody I care for would be destroyed, you, Misato, Touji,
Kensuke, Rei. I realised that I couldn't let that happen, not when I could do
something about it."

"I am glad to hear that. I must say that is a more sensible reason for piloting
than the one you gave before."
END FLASHBACK

Once the memory fades Shinji comments, "Well perhaps she does care for me."

The younger Shinji replies, "Trust me she does. Now there is one other female
in your life who cares more for you than you realise."

"Who? ....... Misato?"

"Yes, Misato does care for you."

"Sometimes I think that she really does, other times its almost like we are
tools in her own personal battle with the angels."

The younger Shinji angrily replies, "No you are wrong, she does genuinely care
for you. She took you into her home, she treats you almost like you were her
own son. Don't you remember her reaction to when she saw you were all right
after being released from Unit 01?"

FLASHBACK
Nerv Hospital room 107 - just after Asuka has left.

Shinji is laying in the bed staring at the ceiling trying to come to terms
with what Asuka told him. Misato comes running into the room and gives
Shinji a big hug and starts crying. "Shinji. You're awake finally. We all
thought that we had lost you this time."

Embarrassed by being held in such a tight hug for so long Shinji asks,
" ........... Misato will you let me go, please?"

Misato laughs as she lets Shinji go, "So how do you feel?"

"Fine." He then notices that Misato's arm is no longer in a cast. 'So what
Asuka said must be true.'

"You gave all of us a big scare young man. Do you realise how long
you have been out of it?"

"No I don't. Asuka was here earlier and said something about a month."
He then points at Misato's arm and continues, "I doubted her at first but
several things are starting to make me think that I was gone for that long."

Misato looks at her arm puzzled until she realises why Shinji is pointing
at it. She then asks him, "Oh, my arm? The last time you saw me it was
still in a cast wasn't it?"

"Yes it was."

"So do you remember anything?"

"After Unit 01 lost power, no. Not a thing."

"Well you had us scared for a while."

"Why?"

"You were absorbed into your Eva, Shinji and when we were finally ready to
try to bring you back, it looked like we had failed."

"But you succeeded, I'm back here aren't I?"

"No, Ritsuko had given up. When the entry plug opened by itself and started
pouring LCL everywhere we honestly thought that you had been claimed by
Unit 01, but suddenly it just spat you out of the core."

Stunned by what Misato has just told him, Shinji tells her, ".............. I
don't remember a single thing about any of this."

"So why did you come back and pilot again Shinji? I thought that you said
you would never pilot again."

"Because of something that Kaji said to me. It made me realise that I
could make a difference by deciding to pilot Unit 01 myself, without
anyone forcing me to."

"Yes, I am for one glad that you decided to pilot again. The angel was
getting ready to kill me and everyone else on the command bridge when
you came crashing in. That was the most ferocious I have ever seen you
fight in your Eva."

"I realised that if it won everything that I have gone through would have
been worthless, so I had to fight to win no matter what. I also couldn't
let it kill you and everybody else there."
END FLASHBACK

The younger Shinji tells Shinji, "See she does care for you."

Shinji answers, "I suppose that you are right."

"So have you forgotten the reason why you pilot?"

"No. But there is no longer a need to continue piloting Unit 01. There
are no more angels."

The younger Shinji asks, "Are you sure?"

Shinji hesitantly answers, " .........Well not really...."

"And yet you still wanted to run away from everything this time?"

"Yes I did."

"Misato was right when she told you about running away, the night before
you went to visit your mother's grave."

"What do you mean?"

"That nothing is gained by running away, and that nothing will ever
change unless you have the courage to step forward. So are you going
to continue to run away or are you going to face reality?"

Ashamed at what he had tried to do especially since he has realised that
others do care for him, Shinji answers. "No I will stay, I am tired of
running away."
---------------------------------------------------------------- -----

Japanese Government Secret Research Facility on the outskirts of Tokyo 3
- three days after Shinji's suicide attempt

The research facility is in a small industrial estate located on the very
outskirts of Tokyo 3, the devastation caused by the defeat of the 16th angel
stopped about three kilometres short of the estate. On the outside the
research facility looks like its surrounding factories, however inside
it is a totally different matter. A group of technicians are sitting down at
control desks, several scientists are standing behind them overseeing an
experiment. The subject of the experiment is in an adjoining room. It is
a sealed laboratory, with massive walls made up of two separate layers and
having only one entrance, which is sealed by a series of armoured blast
doors. Surrounding the innermost wall is a magnetic cage. All operations
in this room are carried out using remotely controlled robotic arms. In the
centre of the room sits a container of partly frozen LCL, floating in this
LCL is the embryo that was stolen from Nerv. One of the technicians
reports, "It appears to be stable. No energy emissions detected."

Looking at the video monitor of the container, the senior scientist comments,
"It's hard to think that this caused second impact."

One of the other scientists adds, "And that this is the reason for all of
those angel attacks. I wounder what Nerv will do when they realise that
it is missing?"

The senior scientist replies, "Hopefully it will be some time before they
do. But at least they can't start third impact now." He then turns to one
of the technicians and orders, "Increase the temperature an other ten
degrees."

The technician answers, "Yes sir. Increasing the temperature another
ten degrees."

Three minutes later, the small embryonic form contained in the container
of LCL starts to stir. It starts moving with increased speed, at the same
time it is also starting to grow at an extremely rapid rate. The partly
frozen LCL starts to boil off due to the heat being released by the angel.

One of the technicians looks up from her control console and in an extremely
concerned tone informs the senior scientist, "Uh. Sir.......the energy
readings........"

The senior scientist looks at the readings and his face pales once he sees
them. Shocked by what he has seen he orders, "What!!!!! Impossible,
increase the cooling rate, try to bring the temperature back down."

One of the other technicians starts rapidly entering commands into his
control console. Extremely worried by what his console readings are
showing, he reports the readings. The tone of his voice showing his concern
at what they are showing, "It's not having any effect. It's evolving
at a incredible rate."

The monitors show that the container of LCL has disappeared and in its
place is an object emitting an extremely bright light about the same size
and shape as a human. The size of the object and the intensity of the light
are increasing at an ever increasing rate.

Another of the technicians reports, his fear of what is happening evident,
"Sir! The magnetic cage won't be able to withstand these energy rates for
much longer."

After hearing this one of the lower ranking scientists comments, "We better
hope that it doesn't cause an other second impact right here."

The senior scientist sadly shakes his head and replies, "It won't, it
will go to Nerv in search of the second angel and will initiate third impact."

Puzzled by what the senior scientist has just said one of the technicians
asks, "Third impact? What do you mean by that?"

The senior scientist sadly shakes his head and replies, "The end of mankind.
We can only hope that Nerv can stop it his time, for this angel is the true
cause of second impact."

A technician screams out, "The readings are all of the scale, the magnetic
cage will fail in five seconds……….." The laboratory then disappears in a
blinding flash of light; the entire research facility follows seconds
after. The screeching of an angel can be heard, when the smoke clears
from the explosion a large glowing humanoid form about the size of an
evangelion can be seen. The angel then starts slowly walking towards the
heart of Tokyo 3 and Nerv.
----------------------------------------------------------------- -----

Command Centre - Nerv Headquarters

Emergency alarms start sounding, Misato comes running into the command
centre. Commander Ikari and Vice Commander Fuyutsuki are already at their
command post. Puzzled by what could be causing the alarms to sound Misato
anxiously asks the bridge crew, "What is causing the alarm?"

Shigeru informs her, "A massive energy reading was just detected on the
outskirts of Tokyo 3."

Misato quickly realises that there can only be one logical cause for such an
energy blast. "What....could it be another angel?" 'But I thought there
were only supposed to be 18 angels.'

Maya reports, "The MAGI are unable to confirm the exact nature of the
energy at the moment, major. A blue pattern waveform has been detected
however."

"Well, what do we know about it then? Is it doing anything?"

Makoto answers, "It is slowly approaching the centre of Tokyo 3, heading
directly towards us."

Misato orders, "Put on the main screen."

Shigeru replies, "Yes major." He then enters some commands on is console
and the image of the angel appears on the main screen. It is a glowing
humanoid shape similar to an Eva.

Seen only by Fuyutsuki, Gendo drops his steeped hands from in front of his
face and frowns. He quietly comments to Fuyutsuki, "This is a rather
unfortunate and unplanned turn of events. Tarbis was supposed to be the
last angel. This angel looks disturbingly like the first."

Fuyutsuki replies while still looking at the main screen in amazement,
"It couldn't be could it?"

With a look of shear terror Misato stares at the image on the screen and
screams, "WHAT!!!!............. NOOO GO AWAY."

Makoto looks at the image on the main screen and asks, "What is it? It
looks a bit like an Eva. Is it another angel?"

Although she is no longer screaming at the screen in terror, Misato is
still upset by it as she cries, "No... no......not again......go away.....
I thought I saw the last of you fifteen years ago."

Fuyutsuki quietly comments to Gendo, "Could it be? She was the only
person to see it with their own eyes and survive."

Gendo presses a button for a private communication channel and picks
up a handset and orders, "Confirm the status of the subject of Project A."

A voice on end of line immediately replies, "Yes Sir! Right away." A
minute later the same voice continues but in a rather shocked tone, "Sir,
well…. the subject of Project A is missing!"

The expression on Gendo's face darkens as he angrily yells at the phone,
"WHAT!! FIND IT." He then slams the phone handset back onto its cradle.

Meanwhile one of the few surviving defence towers starts shooting at the
angel. The missiles have no effect and are stopped by the angel's AT field.
The angel then lets out a screeching cry and sends a beam of energy towards
the tower, which disappears in a flash of light.

The angel's reaction confirms Misato's fears and she starts yelling again
at the image on the screen, "No......no......NO. GO AWAY."

Shocked by Misato's reaction to the appearance of the angel Shigeru
wounders, 'What is it that could affect the major like that?'

Makoto is also puzzled by Misato's reaction to the angel, 'It is just an
angel, but why is the major so affected by it? It's no worse than any of the
others that we have fought' He then looks up towards the commander's
platform and sees commander Ikari's reaction to the angel. 'Even the
commander seems affected by it.' He then realises something, 'Oh no.
We have no pilots.'

Worried by how Misato is reacting to the image on the main screen Shigeru
hesitantly asks Misato, "Major...... Major Katsuragi, what are we going
to do?" He points to the image on the screen, "What is that?"

Misato recovers slightly before answering, "Well....it looks....like.......
like.....the first angel."

Both Shigeru and Makoto yell in surprise at the same time, "WHAT!!!"
Makoto is the first to recover and asks, "How major, how do you know that?"

Misato replies her voice still shaking, "You know how I was the only
................only...........survivor of the Katsuragi Expedition?"

"Yes."

"Well I saw second impact first hand. That .........that......" She points
at the image on the screen, "Is.....is...is what I saw."

"I see."'So that is what the angel that caused second impact looks like.
No wounder this angel has affected you like no other. Seeing that angel
again would be the last thing you would want to see.'

Shigeru asks Misato, "Major what are we going to do? We have no pilots."

Misato shakily replies, "….I….I don't know." 'Shinji why did you have to
try to commit suicide now?' She regains her composure and asks Maya,
"Have we started to analyse it yet?"

Maya replies, "Commencing analysis of the angel now major."

Before Maya can commence the analysis of the angel however Gendo orders,
"Lieutenant Ibuki cross check your results with those on file in file Nine
Zero Omega Zulu Five Seven Delta Three."

Maya quickly replies, "Yes Sir." 'Could it really be the first angel again?
How do we stop an other second impact?'

One minute later the MAGI come up with a result.
"Comparison between data from the current angel and the data in file
Nine Zero Omega Zulu Five Seven Delta Three shows that the two are
identical."

Seeing this Maya reports, "Sir, the results are the same."

Gendo then orders, "Classify this angel as the first."

Surprised by the commander's order, Maya asks ,"The first sir?" 'How can this
be possible? No wonder Major Katsuragi is freaking out.'

Gendo then angrily commands her, "You heard me, now do it."

Not wanting to incur any more of Gendo's wrath Maya quickly replies,
"Yes sir."

Fuyutsuki turns to Gendo and quietly asks, "I take it that this is not in the
scenario?"

Heard only by Fuyutsuki a shaken Gendo answers, "No, it isn't."

Having recovered from seeing her worst nightmare come to life Misato silently
asks herself, 'So it is the first, coming back to finish the job off this
time? With the second angel Lilith held in Terminal Dogma, I would say
more than likely.' She then gets a determined look on her face and vows,
"I will destroy it this time, for what it did fifteen years ago."

Hearing Misato's vow Makoto hesitantly asks, "Uh major, just how? Aren't
you forgetting something? We have no fit pilots."

Misato turns to Commander Ikari and asks, "Sir permission to deploy a N2 mine
to slow it down. If this succeeds I will see if I can get Shinji to pilot
Unit 01, I take it I am allowed to see him for this?"

With his hands clasped back in front of his face once more, Gendo nods
and answers, "Permission granted major, for both proposals."

Misato turns to Makoto and orders, "Contact the UN, tell them we need a N2 mine
deployed against that angel ASAP." 'Let's hope that will buy us enough time.'

Makoto replies, "Yes major."

Ten minutes later, the angel is still slowly approaching the centre of
what was Tokyo 3, it is still ten kilometres away from its target. A contrail
from an approaching UN bomber can be seen in the sky above. Makoto reports,
"Major the UN are deploying the N2 mine now, sixty seconds to impact."

"Understood, prepare for detonation." 'I hope that this will slow it down.'
The angel disappears in the large mushroom shaped explosion of a N2 mine.
The command centre shakes from the shock wave, and the main screen goes
blank as the sensors shutdown due to the electromagnetic pulse from the N2
mine. Once the rumble of the explosion is over Misato anxiously asks,
"Did it work?"

Maya quickly replies, "Sensors will be back on in five, four, three, two,
one. Sensors back on line, putting visual on the main screen now." The
main screen flickers back to life and shows the angel still standing but
with parts of its armour melted to various degrees of damage, it is standing
with its shoulders slouched and with its head leaning to one side .

Seeing the damage that the N2 mine has done to the angel Misato asks Maya,
"So we have hurt it. Is it enough to slow it down until we are ready?"

Maya checks the readouts on her console and answers, "The MAGI predict
that the angel will have recovered enough to resume its attack in three hours."

"Well that's should hopefully be enough time. Now to see if Shinji is well
enough to pilot and also if he will pilot again."

Like the rest of the bridge crew Maya does not know the exact reason of why
Shinji is in hospital, all she knows that he has had a rather rough time of
late. Maya comments to Misato, "I wish you luck major. After what has
happened lately I don't think he will pilot again."

Makoto asks Misato, "Yes major, how are you going to convince him to
pilot again?"

Misato replies to both Maya and Makoto, "Oh, I won't ask him myself. I know
that he will say no if I ask him at the moment, I have in mind two people,
who he may listen to."

"Who might they be?"

"The first and forth children."
------------------------------------------------------------ ---------

Pilot's Briefing room Nerv Headquarters

Rei is sitting down reading a book; she is dressed in her school uniform.
Misato walks into the briefing room and smiles when she sees Rei there.
She then greets Rei, "Hello Rei, I thought I might find you here."

Rei looks up from her book and replies, "Major Katsuragi."

"Rei, are you aware of what Shinji did aren't you?"

"No I am not. He came and saw me two days ago and we talked. I haven't
seen him since."

"So, what did he talk to you about? If you don't mind me asking?"

"He told me the truth about my origins, the fact that I am a clone, a
clone made up of mostly his mother's DNA. He told me that the difficulty
he had dealing with this fact was the reason why he had been avoiding me
lately, as he did not know how to act towards me now."

'I wounder what her reaction to that was?' "What else did he tell you?"

"He said that he now thought of me more as a close friend, now that he
knew of my origins and has now had time to think about them. He also said
that since the other clones had been destroyed, that I am now a unique
person and should stop acting like I had a death wish. For if I am killed
again, I will not be replaced."

'It would appear that you wanted to tie up some loose ends Shinji.' "So
did he seem to be acting unusual?"

"No. He seemed normal. Why what has happened to him? Is something wrong?"

Misato glumly answers, "You could say that. The other night after visiting
you, Touji and Asuka, Shinji tried to commit suicide."

Rei's eyes widen in shock after hearing this, "Gasp........I see. How is he?"

"He has recovered physically, as for his current state of mind, well I don't
know because as far as I know he hasn't awoken yet. Unfortunately I have
to try to convince him to pilot unit 01 again. Because as you are aware we
are currently under attack by an angel and at the moment we have no other
method of destroying it. And as we know unfortunately both Units 01 and
02 for some reason won't let you pilot them."

"Yes."

"So I need your help to help me to convince Shinji to pilot Unit 01.
I am also going to see if Touji Suzahara will help us. I am certain that
Shinji may listen to both yourself and Touji, where as he mightn't be that
receptive to me at the moment."

"I see, I will help you major."

Misato smiles at Rei as she replies, "Thank you Rei. Come on lets go and
get Touji."
--------------------------------------------------------------- ------

Nerv Hospital room 201

Touji is sitting in a wheelchair at a small table trying to read a magazine.
Misato walks into the room with Rei, and greets Touji, "Hello Mr Suzahara,
and how are you feeling today?"

Touji quickly returns Misato's greeting, "Misato!" He then notices Rei,
"Hello Ayanami." 'What's she doing here?'

Rei replies, "Suzahara."

"I thought I wouldn't see you here for a while Misato, especially with
an angel attack going on, or was that explosion earlier on the end of
the angel?"

Misato silently asks herself, 'How is he going to react to this?' She
then answers Touji's question, "No. Unfortunately the angel is still
with us. I have a favour to ask you Touji"

"Anything Misato" 'What could she want me to do? Its not like I can pilot
an Eva again. At least that's what I hope.'

"I want you to go with Rei and try to convince Shinji to pilot Unit 01
again."

The puzzled expression on Touji's face fades after hearing this, 'So that's
why Rei is here.' "Why Misato? Don't tell me he is running away again. He
looked like he had been having problems, but he seemed like he was getting
over them when he came and visited me the other day."

Misato sadly replies, "Well you could call what happened running away."

"What do you mean?"

"That night after visiting you and Asuka, he tried to commit suicide."

'Oh Shit! I should have realised.' "........... Well now that you mention
it did almost seem like he was saying goodbye for good when he left."

"I see, so what did he talk to you about if you don't mind me asking?"

"No. He told me everything that had happened since I saw him last, which
as we know was before I .....piloted Unit 03."

"Everything?"

"I got the impression that it was. He started from when he was leaving
Nerv after I was hurt, and that he came back and destroyed the fourteenth
angel. He then told me about what happened to Asuka after the fifteenth and
also about what happened during the sixteenth angel and what he discovered
about Rei afterwards. But I got the impression that killing the seventeenth
angel is what affected him the most."

Misato sadly replies, "Yes, Kaworu Nagisa, the fifth child and the
seventeenth angel."

"I got the impression that the fact that Shinji trusted him and considered
him his friend, and then to find out that he was an angel, was bad enough.
But to have to kill him, especially by crushing him in the hand of his Eva
unit is what really made him so depressed, for this time he was in
control of his eva."

"Yes after that he kept to himself even more than usual, he was barely
eating, I was lucky to get two words out of him all day. But the other
day he had to do a synchronisation test as well as a test to see if he
could start Unit 02."

"Unit 02, Asuka's Unit 02? She wouldn't like that."

"No she wouldn't. Anyway Shinji just barely managed to start Unit 02,
but since he got better readings in Unit 01 and since Rei couldn't start
either unit, we decided that Shinji should stay in Unit 01. After the
tests he went for a walk, on the way back Hikari saw him and the two
must have had a good talk."

"The class rep came and visited me not long after Shinji did actually, she
mentioned that she had seen Shinji the day before and that he had been
rather depressed."

"Well the next morning, Shinji seemed to have recovered, he ate a normal
breakfast and asked what hospital room you were in."

"And after he saw me I think he was going to visit both Rei and Asuka."

"So it would appear. He told me about visiting Asuka, but I only found
out about him visiting Rei when I asked her to help convince Shinji
to pilot."

"So Misato, why are you getting Ayanami and myself to ask Shinji to pilot?
Why aren't you asking him?"

A sad expression appears on Misato's face as she tells Touji, "I don't know
how he would react to me asking him at the moment. The last thing we
talked about may have pushed over the edge."

" ................. So what did you talk about that makes you say that?"

"He asked me about what happened to Kaji........."

"And?"

"He told me that he knew that I knew the truth about what happened
to him."

"Which was?"

Misato hangs her head in shame and with a sad tone to her voice and
replies, "That I shot him."

Shocked by Misato's reply Touji stares at her in disbelief and asks, "Why?"

"Apparently he was spying against Nerv. Shinji's father knew of my
connection to Kaji and really gave me no choice, kill him or be killed."

"……So you killed him?"

"Well I only meant to injure him enough to slow him down, but since I
haven't heard from him since I think that I misjudged and I did actually
kill him."

"You don't know that for certain though do you?"

"No I don't. I should have tried to explain my reasons and what I actually
meant to do to Shinji better, but I broke down crying and ran to my
bedroom."

"Yes, I can see why Shinji took that news rather badly. He though a lot
of Kaji didn't he?"

"Yes, Shinji placed a lot of trust in him, he thought a lot of Kaji's
opinion on various things. I actually think that Kaji was probably the
only adult that Shinji would really talk to. You know it was Kaji who
convinced him to pilot again during the attack of the 14th angel."

"Yes you told me that when you explained to me what had actually
happened to my Eva and the aftermath of that battle."

An awkward silence falls for a minute

"So after hearing all that, are you still willing to help?"

Touji grins as he answers, "Try stopping me, its not like I was doing
much at the moment anyway."

Misato smiles as she replies, "Thanks Touji. "

"So Misato, why are we under attack by an angel? I thought that there
were only supposed to be 17 angels?"

"There are only 17. Nerv was holding the first angel alive for some reason,
and it somehow got out of its high security storage facility and then
attacked Nerv." 'There is only one possible person who could have removed
it from its secure storage......... No....... it couldn't be.....'

Surprised by Misato's Touji stares at Misato in disbelief and asks,
"The first angel!"

"Yes the first. The true cause of second impact which I saw it with my
own eyes. I thought that I had seen the last of that angel fifteen years
ago. It was a sight I wished to never see again......... So you see why we
need Shinji to pilot Unit 01 this one last time."

"No one else can pilot it?"

"No one. It won't start up with Rei piloting it. Since Asuka is in a coma
we have even tried Rei in Unit 02 as well, and we had the same response.
So Shinji in Unit 01 is everyone's only hope, if he doesn't third impact
will take place."

Puzzled, Touji stares at Misato and asks, "Third impact? Shinji mentioned
something about that when he was talking about the seventeenth angel. Is it
similar to second impact?"

"Yes. Only worse, this time it will mean the total extinction of the human
race."

Shocked by Misato's answer, Touji grimly asks, "I see. So we have no
alternative other than asking Shinji to pilot, do we?"

"Unfortunately no. The last thing I want to do is to hurt him any more,
but we have no choice. I just hope he is up to it physically and mentally."

"He will do it Misato, trust me."

"I hope so, for humanity's sake."
---------------------------------------------------------------- ------

Doctor's Office - Nerv hospital

The doctor who is looking after Shinji is sitting down at his desk filling
in some paper work. He hears a knock at the door and he looks up from
the paper work and says, "Come in." The door opens and Misato walks in,
once the doctor sees that it is Misato he tells her, "Major Katsuragi, if
you're here to see about Shinji Ikari, he should be sleeping soundly. We
have been giving a very mild sedative to help him rest."

With a grim look on her face Misato orders the doctor, "I want you to
give something to wake him up now."

The doctor frowns after hearing that and in a concerned tone he tells
Misato, "I would strongly advise against doing that."

Misato's voice hardens as she tells the doctor, "I can make it an official
order if you wish. If you wish to check my reasons and authority I suggest
that you give commander Ikari a ring."

"That won't be necessary. Why do you need him awake so urgently?"

"We need him to pilot Evangelion Unit 01."

The doctor looks at Misato horrified by what she has just said and angrily
replies, "That is shear madness! Especially considering his current state."

"Trust me doctor. I know that this the last thing that Shinji would want
to do at the moment, but unfortunately we don't have much choice."

Misato's answer only manages to confuse the doctor, since he believes
that the N2 mine destroyed the angel. So he asks Misato, "Why is that?"

"If he doesn't pilot Unit 01 we could all die Unfortunately the angel that
attacked us earlier on today wasn't destroyed by the N2 mine, it was
only temporally disabled. The only hope we have stopping that is by using
an Eva unit. And unfortunately Shinji is the only pilot left who stands
any chance of piloting an Eva."

"I see. I will go and get the appropriate medication then. I will say one
thing major, I will like to go on record that I am doing this under orders
only and do not consider it in the patient's best interests."

"Your opinion is noted doctor. I will sign his chart if you wish. Come
lets go there is no time to waste."
--------------------------------------------------------------- ------

Nerv Hospital room 107

The doctor, Misato, Rei and Touji come to the door outside of Shinji's
hospital room. Misato is pushing Touji's wheelchair. Misato turns to
the doctor and tells him, "We will wait out here and let you do your
business doctor."

The doctor replies in a slightly sarcastic tone of voice, "Thank you major."

The doctor walks into the room and gives Shinji a needle. He then checks
Shinji's readings on the monitoring equipment and records the results. As
soon as he has finished doing this he turns the monitors off and disconnects
them from Shinji. He then walks out of the room and tells Misato, "He should
be awake in five minutes. I hope you know what you are doing major Katsuragi."

"I do too. Thank you doctor, that will be all." The doctor then walks off.
Misato then turns to Touji and Rei and tells them, "Rei, Touji, I will
wait out here. Let me know when he decides."

Touji answers, "Yes Misato."

Rei replies, "Yes major."

Rei pushes Touji's wheelchair into the room and places it next to the bed
on one side, she sits down in a chair on the other side. Five minutes later
Shinji starts to wake up, he groans and blinks his eyes to help them
focus on the ceiling. He soon realises where he is and mutters, "Ugh.
Not here again......"

Seeing that Shinji is awake Touji greets him, "Welcome back."

Shinji turns to face Touji and asks, "Touji! What are you doing here?"

"I came to visit you and see if you were any better. Anyway I am not the
only person who came to see you."

"Huh?" He sits up in bed and looks around the room to see Rei sitting
on the other side of the bed. "Oh, hello Rei."

Rei returns his greeting, "Shinji."

Touji then asks Shinji, "I take it that you feel better for doing what
you did?"

Shinji remorsefully replies, "........... Not really. I couldn't even do
that right."

Touji sadly shakes his head as he tells Shinji, "You know Shinji, Asuka
is right."

Wondering what Touji is talking about Shinji asks him, "What do
you mean?"

"When you carry on like this, you really are an idiot."

Shinji hangs his head down in shame and answers, "I suppose I am."

Rei then asks him, "Shinji, why did you try to kill yourself?"

With his head still hanging down in shame Shinji quietly answers, "I...I
felt like I couldn't take it any more."

Rei then asks Shinji in a hurt tone, "Didn't you mean what you said to me?"

Shinji raises his head after hearing Rei's reply and asks, "…..Wh..... what
do you mean Rei?"

"You said you considered me a close friend."

"Y....yes I did. And I did mean what I said."

"Well why did you try to kill yourself then?"

"What are you getting at Rei?"

"Aren't friends supposed to help each other?"

"............... Yes I suppose that they are."

"So why didn't you ask us to help you?"

"I just couldn't. I couldn't stand it any more, I am sick of all of this
pain. I wish that I never piloted Unit 01 that first day, I should have
gone back to my teacher."

"So you regret meeting me? I thought that you just said that you were
my friend."

" ...N..n....no, I am glad that I have met you Rei."

Touji then asks, "And what about Kensuke and myself?"

"…. N......No I am glad I have you two as friends."

"And of course you would have never met Asuka."

Shinji blushes slightly and replies, "..........Well......"

"Shinji, you're stronger than what you give yourself credit for."

"What do you mean?"

"I have seen you down and out like this before. Like after you fought that
angel with Kensuke and myself in the entry plug with you. You were going
to leave Nerv then but you changed your mind and decided to stay. Hell,
you even came back when you had vowed never to pilot again after the
......... 13th angel. I know that you don't like piloting and you have
probably been in this hospital more times than you would like, but you
kept on piloting."

Shinji sadly replies, "Yeah and look where it got me."

Shinji's answer angers Touji. "Look you're still alive and in one piece
aren't you? Although you just made a pretty good attempt to kill yourself
didn't you?"

Shinji lowers his head in shame as he answers, "Yes, I am not proud of
what I did. I was just running away again, I am tired of running away."

"I am glad to hear that Shinji, so I take it that you won't try to kill yourself again?"

"No, I won't."

Touji hesitates before telling Shinji, "I don't know how to ask you what I
am about to. I wish I didn't have to ask you this Shinji."

Puzzled by what Touji could be referring to, Shinji asks him, "Ask me what?"

"Will you pilot again?"

In a resigned tone Shinji asks, "Why what's the point? There are no more
angels."

"Well no new ones at least."

Puzzled by what Touji has just said, Shinji asks, "...........What do you
mean?"

"The first angel is back."

Shocked by what Touji has just told him, Shinji replies, "The first!!!"

"Yep, and unless it is stopped it will cause third impact. You are our
only hope to stop it, or do you want me to try to pilot Unit 01?"

"Misato sent the two of you to ask me, didn't she?"

"Yes, she wasn't sure of how you would react to her considering your last
conversation with her. She does really care for you."

"I could imagine." Shinji then lowers his head again, "I am really sorry
for upsetting her like I did."

"So will you pilot again?"

In a resigned tone of voice Shinji replies, "…..Yes .............sigh
......I do it."

Rei gives a small smile as she says, "Thank you Shinji."

Touji also smiles at his friend as he thanks him, "Yeah thanks Shinji."
******************************************
Well that is it for part 2. Like I said at the end of part 1 this part was
going to be where the 2 storylines totally deviated.
Again any comments etc appreciated.

Stay tuned for part 3 - Here I go again/ The Sacrifice.