Neon Genesis Evangelion Fan Fiction ❯ Shinji's Decision ❯ Here I go again/ The sacrifice ( Chapter 3 )

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

Shinji's Decision
Part 3 - Version 1 completed 3/1/2000
Version 2 completed 22/4/2001

By Jeff Mullier
Email: jmullier@idl.net.au

Copyright notice
Neon Genesis Evangelion and associated characters are copyright Gainax
and associated companies.

Author Notes
I hope I haven't made any of the characters act wildly out of character.
Also this fic contains spoilers. It takes place after episode 24 and ignores
events in episodes 25,26 & the movies.
Any comments and suggestions would be appreciated.

Thanks to Greg Thomas for pre reading this part.

Additional notes for version 2
Well I have changed the writing style of this part. Also reworked several
areas, especially some parts of Asuka's dream sequence.

******************************************
Shinji's Decision
Part Three - Here I go again /The sacrifice

The surface of Tokyo 3 at the same time as Touji and Rei are entering
Shinji's hospital room

In the dimly lit ruins of a house on the edge of the lake that was Tokyo 3,
a lone figure can be seen observing the angel on the far side of the lake,
with a set of high powered binoculars. The figure reveals himself to be
none other that Ryouji Kaji, special operative with the Ministry of the
Interior. He mutters to himself, "I knew it. I shouldn't have trusted those
fools. They are no better than Ikari and SEELE. I told them that they
should destroy it, but no they decided to meddle with something that
should be left well alone. I am sorry Katsuragi; I can just imagine your
reaction to seeing this particular angel."
"Just why haven't Nerv sent an Eva out to fight it yet? .......
Unless they are having trouble finding a pilot. From what I have been
able to find out, I know that Rei somehow survived the destruction of
Unit 00, but unless they have had more luck than last time she can't
synchronise with Unit 01. Asuka is in a coma in hospital due to the
effects of being attacked by the 14th angel and not being able to
synchronise with Unit 02 in the following angel attack. That leaves Shinji,
apparently he has had a pretty hard time of it lately. Maybe he has decided
to leave Tokyo 3 and Nerv again, I wouldn't really blame him if he was. If he
is leaving again and he is the only pilot left once more, I suppose I should
try to help to convince him to pilot once more. Well there is only one way
to find out." Kaji then gets his mobile phone out and starts dialling
a number. He laughs and comments, "I just wish I could see her face when
she hears me."
------------------------------------------------------------------ ---

Outside of Nerv Hospital room 107

Misato is pacing up and down the hallway in front of the door. Her mobile
phone starts to ring, she stops pacing and gets her phone out of her jacket
pocket and answers it, "Hello".

Kaji's voice answers, "Thank you Katsuragi."

Misato's eyes widen in shock and her face pales as she hears the voice
of someone she had given up for dead. She eventually manages to
answer, "...........K...Ka ....Kaji?"

"The one and only. How are you Misato?"

Misato replies in an annoyed tone , "I have been better. Why did you scare
me like that, letting me think that I had killed you?"

"It was easier for me to do my work if everyone thought I was dead."

Misato frowns and coldly replies, "Yes your work........ I think I am
trying to battle the results of your work."

"I told them to destroy it, but they decided otherwise, they wanted to
play god like commander Ikari and SEELE."

Misato sarcastically replies, "It would appear that you know as much
about the true intentions your employers as I do of mine. Which is only
enough to ask yourself 'why in the world am I doing this and is it all
worth it?'"

"It would seem so."

Misato ironically replies, "Yes it would."

"I see that you have dropped a N2 mine on the angel, so why haven't you
sent a Evangelion out to fight it yet?"

"Well....... We have a slight pilot problem."

"Let me guess, Shinji is the only useable pilot left? And I take it he
doesn't want to pilot any more."

"Yes he is the only pilot left who stands a chance of piloting an Eva,
but unfortunately three days ago he tried to commit suicide."

Concerned by what Misato has just told him, he asks her, "I hope he
didn't succeed?"

"No, fortunately I found him just in time."

"So how is he now?"

"He has physically recovered."

"So I take it that you are trying to convince him to pilot once more?"

"Yes, Touji and Rei are trying to convince him to pilot now."

"Do you want me to come, if you think it will help?"

"If you could, it definitely will help. But do you think it is wise
entering a Nerv facility?"

"Misato, if I could steel Adam from Nerv without being detected, do
you think anyone is going to stop me entering a hospital?"

"You do have a point there, Shinji is in room 107 of the Nerv hospital."

"I will be there in ten minutes."
------------------------------------------------------------- --------

Nerv Hospital room 107 ten minutes later

Shinji is sitting up in the bed, Rei is sitting in a chair on one side of
the bed Touji is sitting in a wheelchair on the other. Touji has just asked
Shinji if he will pilot again. In a resigned tone of voice Shinji tells
Touji and Rei of his decision, "…..Yes .............sigh......I do it."

Rei gives a small smile as she says, "Thank you Shinji."

Touji also smiles at his friend as he thanks him, "Yeah thanks Shinji."

Shinji then asks Touji, "I take it that Misato is probably waiting outside
to hear of my decision?"

Touji replies, "Yes she is."

Shinji gets out of the bed , "I will tell her myself." He opens the draw
of the chest of drawers next to the bed and gets out some of his clothes.
"Uh, will you excuse me for a minute while I change."
-------------------------------------------------------------- -------

Outside of Shinji's hospital room

Misato is standing anxiously in the hallway, blankly staring out through
a window, when she hears a familiar voice call her name, "Hello
Katsuragi." Misato immediately recognises Kaji's voice and quickly turns
around and raps her arms around him. She then starts crying as she tells
him, "Don't you ever do that to me again, scaring me like that, making
me think that you were dead."

Kaji replies, "Sorry for not letting you know that I was still alive.
........... Thanks for doing that; for not killing me, but making commander
Ikari think that I was dead. I know that you took a big risk in doing what
you did."

With tears starting to form in her eyes Misato tells Kaji, "No matter what
the consequences were Kaji, I couldn't bring myself to kill you."

Kaji winces as Misato hugs him a little tighter. "Ouch! You didn't have
to do such a convincing job though. The wound is still a little sore Misato,
so do you mind?"

Misato lets him go and smiles, "Sorry."

"So why did Shinji try to commit suicide?"

"Well he has gone through some pretty bad experiences of late, and he had
been withdrawing further into himself, but three days ago it looked like he
may have been coming to terms with what had happened. He finally went and
saw Touji, he even went and saw Asuka in hospital."

Kaji shakes his head as he comments, "I can never work out what those two
actually feel for each other."

"Yeah. He apparently also had a talk with Rei as well. It would appear that
he had probably already made the decision to try to kill himself. But what
happened that night was more than likely what pushed him over the edge."

"What happened?"

Misato sadly answers, "I don't know how, but he somehow knew that something
had happened to you and that I at least knew the truth of what had
happened. He asked me what had happened to you, I couldn't lie to him so
I told him the truth. But I then ran to my bedroom crying before I could
fully explain what happened, and when I finally came out hours latter he
was asleep on the sofa after taking nearly the entire contents of a bottle
of sleeping pills." She starts crying once more as she tells Kaji, " .... I
am such a fool..... I nearly lost two of the people I care for the most........."

"Don't be so hard on yourself Misato. You were only trying to do the best
for the both of us."

"I should have handled Shinji a little better though. I knew that he would
take the news about you badly as you are probably the only adult that he
really talks to. In fact he probably sees you as more of a father than he
does of commander Ikari."

A surprised look appears on Kaji's face after he hears Misato mention how
Shinji feels towards him. "I never realised that Shinji thinks of me in that
way. Now that you mention it, he has talked with me regarding some subjects
that he would have never discussed with you or anyone else."

"That doesn't surprise me, Kaji. I don't think anyone else could have got
him to pilot again after what happened to Touji, but what you said to him
during the attack of the 14th angel definitely changed his mind."

"I just told him the truth about what would have happened if he didn't
pilot." He looks towards the hospital room door, and asks, "I wounder
how they are going?"

"They have been in there a while, I hope that they aren't having any
problems convincing him."

"Oh, he will pilot again Misato. That was a rather smart move by the
way, getting Rei and Touji to ask him to pilot again."

"What do you mean?"

"You thought that he may not listen to you but he would feel guilty if he
refused a request by two of his friends."

"Yes I was not quite sure how Shinji would feel towards me, so I asked
Rei and Touji as I knew that he would at least listen to those two. Although
seeing you alive may change his opinion of me."

"It will Misato, trust me."

The hospital door slides open revealing Shinji in his school uniform.
Misato is facing the door; Kaji has his back to the door facing Misato.

Misato sees Shinji walk out of his room and cries out, "Shinji!"

Shinji calmly returns Misato's greeting, "Misato." He then notices the
man standing beside Misato with his back to him and wounders, 'Who
is that with Misato?' He then notices the man's ponytail, ' ....... No it
couldn't be........'

Kaji turns around after hearing Shinji and greets him, "Hello Shinji Ikari."

Shinji stares at Kaji in surprise and asks, "Kaji? ......... But ......
I thought you were dead. I thought that Misato shot you?"

"Yes she shot me all right, but like she tried to tell you she only
wounded me."

Shinji hangs his head in shame as he replies, "I am sorry for doubting
you Misato."

Misato gives Shinji a small but warm smile as she replies, "That's all right
Shinji. I should have told you earlier, but I wasn't sure myself if I had
only wounded him."

Kaji then asks Shinji, "So Shinji have you made a decision?"

Shinji lifts his head back up and answers, "Yes I will pilot again.
Hopefully this will be the last time."

Misato replies, "Yes, I hope it is the last time as well. Now go and
change into your plug suit and meet me in the briefing room."

Shinji replies, "Yes Misato." He turns to Kaji, "Goodbye Kaji, I am
glad to see that you are alive."

Kaji replies, "Goodbye Shinji and good luck. I will see you again soon."

Shinji then starts walking towards the pilots' change rooms. Shinji is
only a few rooms away when the door to what was his hospital room
opens again and both Touji and Rei exit the room, Rei is pushing Touji's
wheelchair.

Misato smiles at Rei and Touji as she tells them, "Thanks for doing that."

Touji replies, "It was no problem Misato." He then notices Kaji standing
behind Misato and he stares at Kaji with a confused expression on his
face, "Uh??"

Kaji sees Touji's reaction and grins, "Mr Suzahara, lets just say reports
of my death were a little premature. But could you forget that you saw me?"

"Yeah, no problem." 'What's going on here?'

Kaji then turns to Misato and tells her, "Well I best be off then. Katsuragi,
if you need to contact me, the phone number is the date that we first met.
Thanks again."

Misato hugs Kaji and kisses him. "Goodbye Kaji." She then lets him go
and Kaji then walks off down the hallway, Misato watches him walk away.
Once Kaji has walked out of sight Misato turns around to Rei and Touji and
tells them, "Well you two can stay at the back of the command bridge.
I have to get some stuff from there before I brief Shinji. Lets go." She
then takes control of Touji's wheelchair from Rei and with Rei following
she starts to head towards the command centre.
--------------------------------------------------------------- ------

Pilot's Briefing Room

Misato and Shinji are standing on either side of a flat viewing table.
Vice commander Fuyutsuki is standing in the background overseeing the
briefing. Misato presses a button so that images of the angel before
and after the N2 mine come up on the viewer. She explains to Shinji,
"This is the angel before and after we detonated an N2 mine on it to slow
it down. The MAGI currently predict that it will be fully regenerated in
another three quarters of an hour."

Seeing the image of Adam, Shinji thinks to himself, 'So that's what the
angel that caused second impact looks like'.

"Due to the limited number of weapons towers and entry points due to most
of Tokyo 3 being destroyed, Unit 01 will be launched a distance approximately
two thirds of the way around the crater that was Tokyo 3 away from the
angel."

Shinji asks, "What is the angel's weapon?"

"So far it has used a concentrated beam of energy, similar to the 14th angel,
it may have other means of attack though. We are not quite sure of this
angel's full capabilities other than it is extremely powerful. Remember
that this angel caused the second impact."

'Great!' "What will I be fighting it with?"

"As we are not quite sure of this angels full capabilities other than it is
extremely powerful. So at first we will try a long range attack using the
JSSDF's positron rifle using all of the available electricity that we have
been able to harness at such short notice. The rifle will be set up on top
of weapons tower 23 which is a short distance from where you will be
launched."

"And if that doesn't work?"

"The next closest weapons tower will have two hand held rocket launchers.
If they don't work, well our last resort is hand to hand combat with the
progressive knife. At all times you will have to have your AT field at
maximum."

Shinji grimly asks Misato, "This isn't going to be an easy fight is it?"

"Unfortunately you are right, but would only be lying to you if I told
you otherwise. I have faith in you Shinji, you will defeat it and once this
angel is gone that will be the end of all this."

"I certainly hope so. I will be glad when this is all over."

Misato smiles as she replies, "Yes I think that everybody will be Shinji.
Lets get going we don't have much time."

"Yes Misato."
-------------------------------------------------------------- -------

SEELE Chamber

SEELE 04 angrily states, "It would appear that Ikari has let Nerv's security
get rather slack."

SEELE 06 adds, "Yes it would also appear that there is another party
interested in analysing the angels."

SEELE 02 comments, "The available information points to the Japanese
government."

SEELE 03 replies, "Who ever was responsible is not our immediate concern,
what is more important at the moment is what do we do now?"

SEELE 01 answers, "There is nothing we need to do. As long as Evangelion
Unit 01 survives intact our scenario is still intact. In fact the re-emergence
and possible destruction of Adam is to our advantage."

SEELE 05 asks, "How is that?"

"It will prevent Ikari carrying out his own agenda, as it needs both Adam
and Lilith where as our scenario only needs Evangelion Unit 01 and our
nine production units as well as the lance," replies SEELE 01.

SEELE 10 then asks, "But we don't have the lance of Longinus do we?"

SEELE 11 angrily states, "No, not since Ikari managed to conveniently
get it into a lunar orbit."

SEELE 01 calmly replies, "That is of no immediate concern, plans are being
put into motion to retrieve the lance."

SEELE 09 comments, "Yes, Ikari destroying Adam and ending his own scenario
suits our plans perfectly. As long as Nerv manage to defeat this angel,
as it probably the strongest angel yet. Remember this angel is responsible
for the death of half of the human race."

"Nerv will defeat the angel, remember that Unit 01 is now an extremely
powerful weapon because of its S2 organ", answers SEELE 02.

SEELE 08 then asks, "Then why did Ikari get the UN to drop a N2 mine on
the angel? It is taking Nerv longer than normal to deploy Evangelion
Unit 01."

SEELE 01 replies, "Our last intelligence report revealed that there is
currently only one pilot that can pilot Evangelion Unit 01, who is the third
child Shinji Ikari. Apparently he is rather depressed due to recent events,
they may be having problems convincing him to pilot."

SEELE 02 comments, "Yes this has happened before."

SEELE 03 replies, "He will pilot again, he has before, he will again."
--------------------------------------------------------------- ------

Nerv Hospital room 303/Asuka's mind

In Asuka's mind the image of an old train carriage appears, she is sitting
with her head bowed on one side of the carriage. Seated on the opposite
side silhouetted by the bright light coming in through the window is a
younger version of herself. Asuka sadly mumbles, "No one cares for me.
Nobody cares for me since I can't pilot anymore. No one has ever cared for
me, they have only cared for me because I am a pilot."

The younger version of herself firmly replies, "You are wrong. Your best
friend Hikari cares for you. She let you stay at her place when you were
starting to fall into this state that you are now in. She tried to comfort
you but you weren't really listening." And what she said to you is
the truth."

Asuka asks, "What do you mean?"

"That you shouldn't feel ashamed or worthless because you lost, you
tried your best and no one could ask for anything more than that."

Asuka sarcastically replies, "Yeah right. I lost against the angels 3 times
in a row and the next time they made me pilot I couldn't even start my Eva.
So what worth do I have? Who needs an pilot who can't sync with her Eva?"

The younger Asuka replies in an equally sarcastic tone, "So piloting Eva
is your sole reason for existing? Is that all you want to be known as?
What about Asuka Langley Sohryu the person?"

"I can't let anyone get too close to me. I don't want anyone to know
my true past, it is just too painful."

"But there is one person who is close to you who knows the truth and
doesn't hold it against you, but you refuse to recognise how they care
for you."

Puzzled Asuka asks, "Who???.....Not Misato?"

"Yes Misato. She took you into her home, into her life, she almost treats
both you and Shinji like you were her own children."

Asuka's anger flares again as she fiercely replies, "So what! We are
only part of her job."

The younger Asuka sadly shakes her head before she answers, "You are
wrong, Misato may know all of the details of your past but she never said
anything to you or to anyone else about them. She knew that you would not
want to talk about it or let anyone else know about it, and she has respected
your wishes in that respect That day at the hot springs, you should have
taken notice of her advice regarding your past."

Asuka replies by asking, "Why, what do you mean by that?"

"About letting it go, nothing is to be gained by dwelling on the past."

Asuka irately asks, "Why? My past is what has made me who I am. How
do you expect me to forget what has happened?"

"It is true that it has made you who you are, but nothing is gained by
letting it define your future as well. Anyway what's to say that your past
is any different to Shinji's?"

"What do you mean by that? What in the world have I got in common with
that baka?"

"His mother died when he was young, his father virtually ignores him."

Asuka heatedly asks, "So what. What's that got to do with me?"

"You two are more alike than you think, you just deal with your pain in
different ways. You are both afraid to get too close to someone for fear of
being hurt. Why do you think he has so much trouble dealing with others?"

Asuka hesitates before replying, "I.... never looked at his actions in
that way."

"But despite this and how you treat him, he does genuinely care for you."

Asuka angrily replies, "Bullshit!"

"He does. It's just that he isn't very good at expressing his emotions and
you don't want to recognise it."

FLASHBACK
Just after the attack of the 15th angel, Asuka is sitting down trying to
come to terms with what the angel's invasion of her mind has made her
remember. She hears Shinji's voice, "I am glad as you're ok, Asuka."

Asuka angrily snaps back at him, "Shut up! Who are you calling ok? It's
the worst; that doll rescued me! Rescued by that damned doll! I would
rather die than that. I hate, hate, you, everyone, everything!"

After a moments hesitation Shinji tells her, "Well I am still glad that you
are uninjured then."

Asuka quickly turns around and gives him a rather dark and angry look.
A worried look appears on Shinji's face before he makes a quick retreat.
END FLASHBACK

The younger Asuka then tells her, "See, Shinji does care for you but he
does not express himself very well."

Asuka angrily snaps back, "Yeah so what. Who would be interested in
a dork like him?"

"You. You deny it but you feel for him in return. Don't you remember what
you did after the twelfth angel?"

Asuka just sits there dumbfounded as the memories of what happened
resurface and she starts to realise what the younger version of herself is
referring to.

FLASHBACK
Outside Shinji's Hospital room after the attack of the 12th angel

Asuka is walking towards Shinji's hospital room when she sees Rei approach
from the opposite direction and enter the room. After seeing this Asuka
mutters to herself, "I should have known, wondergirl. Trust you to get to
the baka first. Just what is it between you two?" Asuka then reaches the
door to Shinji's hospital room, 'I will wait out here until wondergirl
is gone.'

After fifteen minutes Asuka can hear voices coming from inside the room
so she places her ear against the door. She then hears Rei say to Shinji,
"Well that's good for you." Almost too late Asuka notices that the door is
opening and jumps back away from it. Despite this she is still caught in
an awkward position by Rei. Shinji sees this and starts sniggering. Asuka's
expression darkens and she then storms off muttering, "Damn you wondergirl."
END FLASHBACK

The younger Asuka then asks her, "If you don't care for him why were you
waiting outside of his hospital room? And why were you so worried about Rei
getting there first?"

Asuka hesitates in replying, ".........Well......"

"And admit it you wanted him to kiss you that night when you were pretending
to be asleep weren't you?"

"Umm well........"

"Well then are you going to answer me or what?"

Asuka angrily replies, "YES, I did want him to kiss me."

"You may have been angry towards Shinji for defeating the 14th angel on
his own after you had been defeated by it, but you were also amazed that
he had come back and piloted again weren't you?"

"Well ..............."

FLASHBACK
Nerv hospital after the 14th angel had been defeated

Asuka is having a check up after Unit 02's defeat by the 14th angel. Misato
walks in to the room, she has a rather worried look on her face. She asks,
"So how are you Asuka?"

Asuka still fuming at her defeat sarcastically replies, "Fine just fine.
What do you expect Misato?" 'I can't believe it, I lost again.'

Concerned at Asuka's state Misato carefully answers, "Calm down Asuka,
that angel was the toughest that we have faced so far."

Asuka spitefully asks, "So with the invincible Shinji deciding to run away,
what at has happened to the angel? Did wondergirl destroy it?"

"No. Rei is in a serious condition in this hospital. She had no more success
against the angel than you did."

Puzzled by what could have happened Asuka asks, "Well what happened then?
Did the commander use the dummy plug in Unit 01 again?"

"No."

Her irritation increasing Asuka angrily asks, "Well, are you going to tell
me or what?"

Misato calmly replies, "It was Shinji in Unit 01."

Amazed by what Misato has just told her, "........You mean that he actually
came back and piloted again? I thought that the baka said he wasn't going
to pilot again and was leaving for good this time."

"Yes he did. He came back without being asked and piloted Unit 01 again.
He saved us all as the angel was actually inside of central dogma. In
fact it was probably the most ferocious I have seen him fight in his Eva."

Asuka rolls her eyes and says in a scathing tone, "So the invincible Shinji
saves the day once again."

Asuka's reaction angers Misato and she angrily snaps back at Asuka. "I can't
believe you Asuka. Shinji came back and piloted Unit 01 and fought the
angel, destroying it, all without being asked, he did it of his own free
will. What would you have preferred that he didn't and the angel won and
killed everyone?"

Shamed by what Misato has just said Asuka quietly replies, ".......No. So
where is the baka then?"

"Well Unit 01 suffered some damage and Shinji was ....... um injured. He
wasn't hurt to badly though but the injuries are awkward and he needs to
be kept in isolation."
END FLASHBACK

The younger Asuka declares, "See you were amazed and proud of him because
he came back."

Asuka hesitantly answers, "Y....yes. The confident invincible Shinji is......"

"Go on."

".....Is the Shinji that I .....I ......... love. .............. and I though
that I lost him that time."

FLASHBACK
Misato's apartment 1 day after the attack of the 14th angel

A tired and worried looking Misato walks into the lounge room. Asuka is
sitting on the lounge idly watching television in an attempt to take her
mind off the previous days events. Seeing Misato enter she asks, "Misato
where is that baka Shinji? Is he still hiding in hospital? I thought you
said that he wasn't hurt that badly."

Misato snaps at her, "ASUKA. ENOUGH OF THAT."

Asuka is shocked at Misato's reaction, "......... Is Shinji's condition
worse than everyone first thought?"

Misato sadly replies, "Yes, you could say that........"

"So is he in hospital or what?"

"..........No he isn't."

Puzzled by Misato's answer Asuka asks, "So where is he then?"

"I shouldn't be telling you this Asuka, but he still is in Unit 01."

"WHAT!!! HOW? Aren't the eject codes working? Or is the damage worse
than you first thought?'

"No, they are being blocked by the Eva. But when we eventually managed to
get the video circuit to work we saw , or should I say we didn't see a
thing?"

"What do you mean?"

"All that we could see in Unit 01's entry plug was Shinji's plug suit floating
in the LCL."

"WHAT? Where is he then?"

"Apparently when Unit 01 went berserk, Shinji reached 400% synchronisation.
The result of this was that he was taken into Unit 01."

Asuka's eyes widen in amazement at hearing this, "400%!!!!!!"

Misato sadly answers, "Yes. And we are not sure if we are going to be
able to get him back."

Asuka is shocked at Misato's answer, "What!!!! You mean that the invincible
Shinji is gone?............... 'He can't be gone...... not now....'
END FLASHBACK

Once the memory fades away, her younger self asks Asuka, "Yes you were
worried that you had lost him weren't you?"

Asuka softly answers, "......Yes......."

"So are you going to let yourself lose him for good by just laying here?
You should face reality and acknowledge that your friends care for you
and that deep down you don't want to be alone or are you just going to lie
here wanting to die?"

Asuka awakens screaming, "I don't want to die! I don't want to live alone!
I am tried of being alone." Asuka then lies still in bed as she fully
awakens. She blinks several times as the hospital room slowly comes into
focus. "I though that someone was in this room visiting me. Who could it
have been?" She turns & notices the flowers, card & note. "Flowers, red
roses, my favourite. Who would have brought them?" Asuka picks up the card
and reads 'To Asuka. Get well soon from Shinji'. Her eyes widen in surprise
after seeing who the flowers are from, "He does care."

Asuka then notices the note and Shinji's SDAT. Puzzled why he would leave
his SDAT there she asks, "What's this? That's his most valued possession;
he goes no where without it. Baka Shinji." She then starts to read the note.

Dear Asuka,

I am sorry it took this to happen for me to admit that I love
you. I started feeling this way towards you probably since we piloted
unit 02 together that time. That first time I saw you I thought that you
were the most beautiful girl that I had ever seen. You probably don't
have the same feelings for me but I can understand that.

You are normally so confident, so noisy, so full of life, it
saddens me to see you just laying here like this. Especially since I have
unfortunately found out the true reason why you pilot and act the way you
do, I can see why you don't want remember your past, much less letting
anyone else knowing it. I know that the 15th angel made you remember
those painful things that you would rather forget, and by doing this it
affected your very reason for piloting. I wish I didn't find out about what
happened to you, but I didn't really have a choice in the matter. I am sorry
I couldn't save you from that angel, but my father wouldn't release Unit 01.
If I could done something, I would have Asuka, I would have disobeyed orders
and done anything to save you and to hell with the consequences. But I
couldn't, Unit 01 was well and truly locked down and my bastard of a father
wouldn't release it.

Much has happened since you were well. You may or may not
remember Unit 00 self destructing and the resulting explosion destroying
nearly all of Tokyo 3. The Rei we knew was killed in the explosion, but a
Rei still exists. I found out that Rei is actually a clone using mostly my
mother's DNA and they just made another Rei. I am not sure of exactly how I
feel towards her now. The fifth child came to replace you, he even became my
friend, but he turned out to be the 17th angel. I had to chase him down
right to the very heart of Nerv. He was very close to starting third impact,
I had to kill him. Doing that was the most painful thing that I have had to
do while piloting Unit 01, at least with Touji I wasn't in control of my
Eva, but I was this time. Well Asuka, you were right as always, I am a baka,
a wimp and a coward. So please accept the roses & my SDAT, as I won't
be needing it any more, as I have decided to end it all.

Love Shinji

As she reads the note Asuka frowns and mutters, the volume of her voice
increasing as she reads further. "Sniff. Baka Shinji. What???? How in the
world could he know what that angel did to me? I bet that Misato told him
the story of my mother, how else could he know about that?" Asuka's eyes
widen in surprise when she reaches the part about Rei. "…….Wondergirl is
a clone! I always knew there was something strange about her, but I would
have never thought of that as the reason." She then gets to the end of
the note and cries out, "What!!!! No don't do this now, not now. Why I
thought that you were better than that Shinji."

An announcement comes over on the hospital's public address system, the
same announcement can be heard throughout all of the Nerv facilities,
"Red alert, red alert! All hands to battle stations! Prepare for Evangelion
launch." Once Asuka hears this announcement she frowns and asks,
"............. An angel? But I thought there were only supposed to be 17 and
just who is piloting the Eva? If Shinji was stupid enough to do something
to injure himself, wondergirl must be piloting Unit 01. But last time they
tried her in Unit 01 it wouldn't let her pilot it, ....... unless she is in
my Unit 02."

Asuka slowly eases herself out of the hospital bed and stands up; she is a
little unsteady on her legs at first. "Come on Asuka you can do it. At
least go and see what's happening." Asuka looks in the bedside chest of
drawers for her clothes, a small smile appears when she sees that he
favourite yellow dress is in there. She then changes into the dress; she
then gets a small mirror out of the draw as well. She then looks at her
face; her hair is a mess although she still has both of the neural
transmitters in her hair. Her eyes are bloodshot and she has bags under
her eyes. She is also thinner due to eating very little in the week that she
spent wandering around the remains of Tokyo 3, as well as being fed by
an IV drip for the following twelve days.

"Well you look as well as could be expected Asuka. Well I suppose you
should go and see what's going on. Lets see the quickest way to the change
rooms from here is via the Eva cages. That way I will get an idea of what's
going on and if I even need to change at all, as they have probably written
me off............" Asuka leaves the hospital room and starts walking as
quickly as she can to the Eva cages.
---------------------------------------------------------------- -----

Unit 01's cage/ Command Centre

Misato anxiously asks Shinji, "Are you ready Shinji?"

Shinji quietly replies, "Yes."

Misato turns to Maya and asks, "How is he?"

Maya replies, "His status is stable, he does seem a little tense though."

Misato replies, "Well that's to be expected considering what happened
three days ago."

"Yes, I am amazed that he agreed to pilot again"

"Begin start up sequence."

The bridge crew go though the stages of the start up sequence. Once the
absolute borderline is cleared Shigeru reports, "Synchronisation level is
stable at 65%!"

Upon hearing this Maya comments to Misato, "Well that's a lot better than
what I expected."

Misato replies, "Yes, its over twice his last test score. I think that the
talk he had with Rei and Touji must have done some good." 'Not to mention
seeing that Kaji was actually still alive.'

Maya replies, "It would appear so.

"Release all locks and move Unit 01 to the third catapult."

Makoto answers Misato's order, "Roger. All lock bolts released, moving
Unit 01 to the third catapult."

Unit 01 is moved to the third catapult. Once it is ready Shigeru reports,
"Launch path is clear, Unit 01 is ready for launch."

Misato then asks Shinji, "Are you ready Shinji?"

Shinji replies, "Yes Misato." 'Well here I go again, hopefully for the
last time.'

"Well good luck Shinji. Launch Eva."

Unit 01 shoots up the launch rails.
---------------------------------------------------------------- -----

Unit 02's cage

Asuka walks in to the cage and finds Unit 02 in cryostatis, at the same
time Unit 01 shoots up the launch catapult. The cage technicians look at
Asuka in shock. After seeing Unit 01's launch Asuka asks herself, 'Well
they sent someone out in Unit 01, I wounder who?' She then notices the
looks she is getting from the cage technicians and angrily asks them,
"Well what are you all staring at? Are you all new here or something?
Haven't you all seen the designated pilot of Unit 02 before?"

One of the technicians bravely answers, "No....... well we heard............."

Although she was expecting the answer, it still managed to anger her.
Fuming at how it appears that everyone has written her off Asuka angrily
answers, "Well I have recovered, and I managed to get here didn't I? Just
how long will it take to get Unit 02 out of cryostatis?"

Wary of Asuka the technician nervously replies, "At...... least a day."

"Shiest." 'Well I better phone Misato to find out what's going on.'
"So where is the nearest phone to the command centre?"

The technician points to the wall near the entrance door and informs
Asuka, "Over there."

Asuka storms off towards the phone with a rather irritated look on her face.
When she reaches it she starts to dial the command centre.
--------------------------------------------------------------- ------

Command Centre / Surface of Tokyo 3/ Unit 01

Everyone is anxiously watching the main screen as Unit 01 shoots to the
surface at one of the remaining lift towers. The positron rifle is set up on
top of a weapons tower two hundred metres away.

Misato orders, "Ok, Shinji follow the plan. Deploy your AT field to maximum
and then proceed to the positron rifle."

A mildly annoyed Shinji replies, "Yes Misato, I do remember the plan."

The shimmer of an AT field being deployed can seen, Unit 01 then start
s walking towards the tower where the positron rifle has been set up.

A phone rings and Shigeru picks it up and answers it, "Hello, yes I will."
He turns to Misato and tells her, "Major Katsuragi its for you."

Annoyed that she is being interrupted Misato angrily asks, "Who is it?
Don't they know I am rather busy right now?"

"Trust me major you will want to take this call." 'I would say that
she is going to get a big surprise.'

Misato wounders as she picks phone up, 'I wonder who it is?' " Hello....."

Asuka's rather angry voice can be heard coming from the phone, "AND
WHAT'S THE IDEA OF HAVING UNIT 02 IN CYROSTATIS?
Didn't you expect me to get better?"

Misato's eyes widen in surprise as she quickly realises who is on the phone.
"……Asuka?????"

"Who else? So who is fighting the angel?"

"Shinji is."

"You mean that he didn't try to do something extremely stupid to himself?"

"Unfortunately he did, but he didn't quite succeed." 'How does she know
about that? He must have left her a note.'

"So what exactly did he try to do?"

"He tried to commit suicide by taking the remaining contents of a bottle of
sleeping pills. Anyway how do you know about him trying to do something
like that?"

"There was a note with the flowers that he left by my bed."

'Shinji bought flowers for Asuka! He does really care for her.' "So do
you still have the note?"

Asuka curtly replies, "No I destroyed it."

'Did you really Asuka?' "I see."

"So what do you want me to do now, since I can't pilot Unit 02 due to
its being frozen?"

'Well you obviously think that you could pilot it, if it wasn't frozen.
Have you really recovered that much Asuka?' "Well Asuka you best come
to the command centre then, Rei and Touji are here as well."

"What are wondergirl and that dumb jock doing there?"

While Misato was expecting Asuka to react how she did, Asuka's reaction
still manages to anger her. Misato then sharply tells Asuka, "They helped
me convince Shinji to pilot again, now I haven't any more time to waste just
get here as soon as you can."

Taken back at Misato's reaction Asuka replies, "Yeah, yeah, ok ok, I will
be there right away."

Meanwhile on the surface of Tokyo 3 Unit 01 has made it to the weapons
tower that has had the JSSDF's positron rifle set up on top of it. The
numerous large electrical cables supplying the power to the rifle disappear
into the weapons tower. Unit 01 gets into a firing position and awaits the
order to fire.

As all of the preparations have been made, as soon as Unit 01 is in position
Misato orders, "Fire!" 'Lets hope that this works.'

The energy beam from the positron rifle streaks towards the angel, but it
is stopped within meters of the angel, the hexagon pattern of an AT field
can be seen. Seeing this happen Misato curses, "Shit!"

Makoto reports, "Major, we don't have enough energy to penetrate its
AT field."

Shinji asks Misato, "What now Misato? Do we try again?"

The angel slowly starts to move away from where it has been regenerating
after the N2 mine was used against it. Shigeru looks up from his readout
and reports, "The angel is moving again! It is starting to head towards
Unit 01."

Surprised by the angel's actions, Misato asks, "What already? I thought that
there was possibly at least another three quarters of an hour before it had
recovered. Shinji it appears that we don't have enough power to penetrate
its AT field at this range, get ready to move to the next weapons tower."

Makoto reports, "The angel has stopped moving again! Detecting a high
energy reading from the angel!"

Before anyone can warn Shinji, the angel sends an energy beam towards
Unit 01. Shinji sees the beam coming and Unit 01 rolls out the way of the
beam, but the energy beam hits the position rifle blowing it into pieces.

Misato rolls her eyes, grins and asks no one in particular, "Well I take it
that the JSSDF won't be getting their positron rife back will they?"

The entry door to the command bridge opens revealing Asuka. Most of the
bridge technicians look at her with a look of surprise on their faces.
Misato looks at Asuka and smiles. "Asuka, good to see that you are out
of your coma. As you can see I am a little busy at the moment." She points
to where Rei and Touji are seated and asks, "So can you please go and sit
with Rei and Touji."

Asuka scowls at this but looks up and sees what is happening up on the
main screen. She tells herself, 'Now is not the time to argue Asuka.'
"Yes Misato."

Rei and Touji are at the rear of the command bridge, Touji is in his
wheelchair next to a row of five seats, and Rei is sitting beside him
in one of the chairs. Asuka walks over to the row of chairs and sits at the
opposite end away from Rei. Asuka glances at Touji and Rei and greets
them, "Suzahara, won...." Asuka then remembers the part of Shinji's note
about Rei being a clone and decides to try to be civil towards her,
".... er Rei."

Touji replies, "I am glad to see that you have recovered Asuka." 'You
don't look 100 percent Asuka, but I suppose that's to be expected after
being in a coma for nearly a fortnight.'

Rei returns Asuka's greeting, "Pilot Sohryu."

Unit 01 arrives at the second weapons tower and gets the two rocket
launchers out. Unit 01 then starts firing the launchers while running
towards the angel in a zig zag pattern at the same time. Unfortunately all
of the rocket shells explode harmlessly against the angel's AT field.
Despite this Unit 01 continues firing until the launchers are empty.

Realising he has no other choice remaining Shinji sighs and reports,
"Closing in for hand to hand combat." 'Great! I was hoping I didn't
have to do this.'

Worried by what might happen, Misato warns him, "Shinji be careful."

Unit 01 throws the empty rocket launchers to one side and gets its
progressive knife out and holds it out in front at the ready. Unit 01
then starts sprinting towards the angel. When Unit 01 has closed within
one hundred meters it holds the knife out ready to stab the angel,
unfortunately the angel is ready and sends an energy beam towards Unit 01.
Unit 01's AT field stops the energy beam but the impact still throws
Unit 01 to the ground, which causes Shinji to grunt in pain and Unit 01
to drop the progressive knife in the process.

Misato anxiously asks him, "Shinji are you all right?"

Shinji shakes head to clear it, and replies, "Yes. What now Misato?
Where did the knife fall?"

Misato sees the angel starting to head for Unit 01 with increased speed,
anxiously orders, "Get back up Shinji, quickly!"

Unit 01 gets back up but no sooner has it done this and the angel is right
in front of it. The angel's arms head towards Unit 01's neck, but Unit 01
grabs the arms before they reach their target. The angel and Unit 01 start
to wrestle for control, with neither being able to gain the upper hand.
Shinji grits his teeth in determination as he tries to overpower the angel.
"Arrrrgghh. I can't seem to overcome it. Its is just as strong as Unit 01."

Misato replies, "Keep on trying Shinji. We will try to think of something
here." 'I wish that Unit 02 wasn't so deep in cryostatis; two Evangelions
may have had a chance..... that's if Asuka could still pilot it.'

In desperation Shinji realises, 'Maybe there is a way I can stop it. But
it will cost me my life and destroy Unit 01. Well if it means freeing
everybody I care from all this pain of fighting the angels, here I go.'
Shinji freezes Unit 01 on its current command and starts to climb around
to the rear of the command chair.

Maya sees the results of Shinji's actions appear on her terminal. Concerned
she tells Misato, "Major! Unit 01 has ceased receiving commands from the
pilot. Shinji has frozen it on its last command!"

Puzzled by what Shinji could be doing, Misato worriedly asks him, "What
the hell? What in the world are you doing Shinji?"

Shinji reaches the rear of the command chair and he then pulls out and turns
a switch, the words "Mode: D" then appear on the display.

This causes an almost immediate reaction by Maya who in an extremely worried
voice informs Misato, "Major! Shinji has activated Unit 01's self destruct
mode!"

Misato pales after hearing this and with voice stating to quiver yells
over the intercom to Unit 01, " WHAT! NO. Shinji don't do this."

Shinji calmly replies, "It is the only way that I can stop it. Sorry Misato,
thanks for looking after me. Tell Rei, Touji and Kensuke thanks for being
my friends. Could you also please tell Asuka that I was sorry I could not
tell her what was on the note in person." He pauses momentarily before
continuing, his voice taking on a rather angry tone, "Father, good riddance
you BASTARD, you won't be able to use me as your tool any more."

A worried look appears on Asuka's face after hearing Shinji. 'I have to
say something to him, I can't let him die now.' She gets up and a walks
to a microphone and tells him, "Shinji.....don't do it........"

Of all the voices he was expecting to hear trying to convince him to stop,
Asuka's is the one he was least expecting. Surprised by hearing Asuka's
voice he asks, "..........Asuka?"

Inside the entry plug Shinji then hears a strangely familiar female voice,
"It is not you time yet. You have much to live for my son."

This voice momentarily puzzles Shinji until he works out whose voice it
is and asks, "......Mother??????" The self destruct countdown then reaches
10 seconds and Shinji's world goes black as the entry plug is pitched into
darkness. Wondering what could be happening he asks, "Uh?????? What's
going on?" He then briefly feels the sensation of rapid movement; this
movement throws him against the command chair hitting his head knocking
him unconscious. Soon afterwards the countdown reaches zero, Unit 01 and
the angel disappear in a blinding flash. The command centre is shaken by
the blast, the main screen goes off line and several people including Misato
are thrown to the floor.

Misato struggles back to her feet and while choking back tears asks, "Status
of the angel?"

Although shocked by what has just happened Shigeru manages to shakily
reply, "The........angel .......and.......Unit 01 were both............
destroyed."

Misato anxiously asks, "........And Shinji?"

Shaken from what Shinji has done Maya still manages to answer Misato's
question, "......... I don't know if the entry plug was ejected. Once the
destruct sequence was initialised we only were received audio and visual
of the pilot, all other telemetry was cut off by the Eva, and that area had
no operating sensors, only long distance cameras."

Up on the commanders level of the bridge, Gendo sadly whispers,
"Yui............."

Fuyutsuki hears Gendo's reaction and reflects, 'This wasn't in your
plan was it Ikari? You pushed your only son too far and now you have
lost him, the holder of the soul of your wife, and since that angel was
Adam, well there goes the Instrumentality Project as well.'

Misato her voice quivering and with tears starting to fall, orders, "Stand
down to condition yellow." She then slumps to the floor and starts crying,
".....Shinji why?"

Asuka is also struggling to contain her tears and silently asks, 'Why
Shinji........ why did you always have to be so brave when you were in
your Eva?' She then storms out of the command centre before anyone
sees her cry.

Touji hangs his head down and sadly shakes it as he tries to come to
terms with what one of his best friends has just done. 'And you always
said that you were a coward and a wimp Shinji......... that would have to
be the bravest thing that anyone could have possibly done. If I hear anyone
call you a coward, they will have to deal with me. Its the least that I could
do for someone that was my friend.......' He lifts his head up again when he
hears Asuka storm out. 'So she did care for him.'

Rei is still staring at the still off line main screen with a frown on her
face. 'Shinji...is this what happened to the second?......But you won't
be coming back........'

In a voice devoid of all emotion Gendo orders, "Fuyutsuki, take over from
here I am going to my office." He then gets up and takes the lift to his
office.
*******************************************
Well that is it for part 3. Again any comments etc appreciated.
Stay tuned for Part 4 - Why?/ The truth is revealed