Neon Genesis Evangelion Fan Fiction ❯ The One I Love Is...Mst ❯ Chapter 10 ( Chapter 11 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Standard Disclaimer

I don't own anything from Gianax or of Evangelion origen...aside from
fan stuff :)

1st rule of a Zentrodie mst: This is not a normal MST

2nd rule of a Zentrodie mst: This is not a normal MST

3rd rule of a Zentrodie mst: This is not a normal MST

if this if your first mst, you will be lost, you may laugh,
and you will understand

welcome to my world.

----------------------------------------------------------- --

Shinji: I still don't think this is a good idea Rei.

Rei: I bath when necessary, it is necessary now.

Asuka: Can't it wait until we get the key!?!

Shinji: Honestly...this isn't really a good time.

Rei still dragging them into the bathroom: You will need deal with it.

Asuka: At least put a blindfold on Chibi-hentai!

Rei: Why, he has seen my form without cloths already.

Asuka: THAT ISN'T THE POINT!!

Shinji: REI!

Rei dropping last rements of clothing: What, it is impossible to bath while clothed.

Shinji beet red: I...I...I...

Asuka: Watch your hands baka and shut your eyes!

Shinji: Towel!...get me a towel or something.

Asuka draps his head with a towel while Rei performs her tasks.

Rei: Shinji-kun your hand.

Shinji: Eep!

Asuka: What he do! 'damn curtain, can't see what that hentai's doing.'

Shinji: I didn't touch anything!

Rei: I know.

Shinji/Asuka: Eh?

Rei: 'Mental-note a more direct approach is required to gain his attention.'

Shinji: My shirt is getting wet.

Asuka: Tuff you can't take yours off because you STUPID friend lost the keys!

Rei: When will they return?

Shinji: 'This is so sureal' Um...about half hour now.

Rei stepping out: This is troublesome.

Asuka: For Kami-sama's sake Rei put some damn cloths on before Chibi-hentai gets urges!

Shinji: I...um...well...

Asuka: Great it's started HURRY!

Rei: How? with his hand chained to mine, I will require assistance drying and
putting on my attire.

Asuka: Great...just great 'assists' if you tell ANYBODY I helped you, I'll kill you.

Shinji: Um..can I take the towel off now?

Rei: You were never required to put it on.

Shinji: I...well..out of respect..and all...

Asuka: Wondergirl, why couldn't it have waited?

Rei:...

Shinji/Asuka: Oooook.

Shinji: Lets make some food for when they get back, can't watch movies on an empty stomach.

Asuka: Fine.

Next half hour is spent in a pathetic attempt to cook food while having your hands chained
to two other peoples. Not alot was done, it tasted terrible, but after Touji and Hikari arrived
they were to busy asking questions on how the shower went that nobody cared.

Shinji: Where's Kensuke?

Touji: Still looking for the key, said to tell you he'll be back over when he finds it.

Hikari: But that could take awhile.

Asuka: Baka better find it fast, Chi...Shinji is starting to smell bad.

Shinji: You don't smell like roses either!

Rei: Why didn't you wash after I finished.

Shinji: How could I when...when..

Touji: They could have washed your back for ya Shin-man 'smiles.'

Hikari/Asuka: TOUJI!!

Rei: I am eager to begin the next installment of that movie, may we begin?

Shinji: I guess dishes are done.

Touji: Poor Kensuke, if he askes I won this round.

Hikari: Suzahara, what was the bet about anyway.

Touji: Uh...nothing important.

Rei: Lies serve no purpose.

Shinji: Tell that to father.

Asuka: Quit your bitching, if we're going to watch the next part lets go.

Touji: Yes mien Fuher.

Asuka: Don't butcher my language.

They all file into the living room and take places, The three-some the couch again
for obvious purposes, and Touji-Hikari the chairs.

Shinji: Hikari, this isn't all that nice at times you know.

Asuka: Yeah, gets all emotional and depressing.

Rei: It divulges a great deal of secret information.

Hikari: Sorry, you guys asked for a long movie 'rember?'

Asuka/Shinji/Rei: Yes.

Touji: Why you crying Shinji, you get the girls!

Shinji: I don't like pain.

Touji: Wuss 'hits play.'

(Begin MST look for >>> to um..well just do it, sheesh have to explain everything)

The One I Love Is...
Chapter 10 - Never forget

>>>Asuka: Where you put the keys for your handcuffs.

>>>Rei: Shinji-kun is overly shy.

>>>Shinji: My life goes from one extreme to another.

by Alain Gravel <rakna@globetrotter.qc.ca>
Based on characters created by and copyright GAINAX

http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Teahouse/2236/

(*) See translations notes for details

========================================================== =============

Chapter 10 - Never forget

On top of one of Tokyo-3's buildings, the young girl stared at the
city spread before her as the sun rose from its slumber.

>>>Touji: Godzilla woke up?

>>>Hikari: If she jumps from the building, this is going to start bad.

The wind was
strong and cold, making her gray hair flow behind her and tightly
hugging her dress against her young body. She didn't mind; the wind felt
good. It was so... free.

>>>Shinji: Something about her...

>>>Touji: She's got it going ON! look at those curves!

>>>Asuka/Rei: She isn't that much bigger.

She felt a deep sense of respect for this city. Even after such
terrible attacks, it still stood, a reflection of the Lilims' pride.
There were many damaged buildings here and there, but already, countless
men and women were working hard to restore the city to its normal
state... until the next wave of destruction would come.

>>>Asuka: And make all that hard work pointless.

>>>Rei: What use does rebuilding serve when it will not last?

>>>Shinji: Proves our stupidity.

As she often did, the girl reflected on her purpose. Was it really
necessary? She recalled the last assault. She had seen the results with
her own eyes. The red one had been crushed.

>>>Asuka: Me or my eva?

>>>Touji: Both.

She would not interfere again. She felt sad for that girl. But even more for the boy.
That boy... why couldn't she chase him from her mind...
She stared at the sky. It was coming. She could feel it. Armisael,
the Sixteenth Messenger. If it failed, then only one would be left.
"Will you fight this time, Ikari Shinji?"

>>>Rei: I feel cold.

>>>Shinji: Want a blanket or something?

>>>Rei: I believe the feeling is like what you say "walking on my grave."

- - -

"Squawk! Squawk!"
Pen-Pen flapped his wings happily as he greeted me in the apartment.

>>>Touji: He's still alive!!

It had been only a few days since I had moved into the next apartment,
so I was surprised the warm water bird had apparently missed me. I bent
down and petted his feathered head. Happy with that, he left for the
kitchen where he picked up a beer from Misato's fridge.

>>>Shinji: Thats a very bad mistake.

>>>Asuka: Misato's going to kill and cook him for that.

>>>Shinji: Beer-battered bird.

"Ohayo, Shinji." (*)
My gaze left the penguin to look at Rei, who had just exited the
bathroom, a large towel covering her body and another on her head.

>>>Touji: Look familiar?

>>>Shinji: Yeah it...um..

>>>Asuka: YOU PEEKED!! 'smack!'

It
felt good to hear her voice, and even better to see her. Not really
willingly, we had avoided each other these last few days. Part of me
felt a bit awkward around her, in a similar way I had felt around Asuka
after the lake incident and before the destruction of Unit-03.
"I will get dressed, then we can begin," said Rei simply, before smiling,

>>>Touji: Don't you usualy get undressed for that?

>>>Rei: I advise you to keep such comments to yourself 'blushing lightly.'

>>>Hikari: Ayanami-san are you ok?

>>>Rei: I am no longer cold.

apparently glad to see me as well.
"I... I'll wait for you on the balcony."

>>>Asuka/Hikari: OUTSIDE, have you no shame!

>>>Shinji: Stop...jumping to conclusions.

I watched her enter my old room and noticed that the small sign
'Shinji's lovely suite' still hung there. I thought back at the first
time she had entered this room, the first time we slept together. It was
a vivid memory, yet it felt like ages ago.

>>>Shinji blushes: I didn't do anything and I still feel embarised.

>>>Rei: The implications are rather profound.

After going to the bathroom to pick up the tools I would need to
accomplish the task, I went to the balcony and prepared a chair for Rei.

>>>Asuka: EYES!

>>>Rei: You are a perverted woman.

>>>Asuka: If it were him and me going outside like that?

>>>Shinji: Like what!

The wind was fresh, yet not cold, and the sun's rays shone brightly over
the balcony. It would be perfect.
"It is a nice day," said Rei as she joined me, putting my thoughts
into words.
"Yes."
It was a nice day, but Rei was a prettier sight.

>>>Asuka: If you have no taste.

>>>Touji: Damn...wait Ken's not here to see it!

>>>Hikari: Sun...reflecting off..pale skin..to..bright.

She was wearing a
short brown sundress, a piece of clothing I had never seen her wear. The
color of her damp hair seemed more vivid than usual and the natural
light of the day made her milky skin look paler. She was truly
beautiful.

>>>Rei: I shall need to dampen my hair more often.

>>>Shinji: No, I don't want memories of that shower.

>>>Rei: You were not at fault for the occational touches to my skin.

>>>Asuka: He touched you!..wait he wasn't..that means you...ew.

With a hand I invited her to sit on the chair, then placed a towel
over her shoulders.
"Are you really sure you want me to do that?" I asked, suspiciously
eyeing the pair of scissors I held in one hand

>>>Asuka: She wants him to kill her!

>>>Hikari: Actually its worse than that.

and the comb in the other. "I... I'll likely mess it up..."
"I have faith in you."
"But... why... why ask me?"

>>>Touji: She hasn't learned that Shinji and talent don't go together.

>>>Hikari: More like a masocist.

"Hotaru cut my hair the last time. It had felt good; relaxing. I
wanted to feel this from you. And... hairdressers make me... uneasy.
They tend to stare at my hair..."

>>>Asuka: Gee I wonder why, maybe the freakishness of it?

>>>Shinji: It's odd...but I like it.

>>>Rei smiles lightly, laughing mentally at Asuka.

"Oh..."
"It is also an opportunity to see you. I... missed you."
The tone of her voice...

>>>Touji: What tone, you hear tone?

>>>Hikari/Asuka: Uh...nope.

>>>Shinji/Rei: Hey!

I had resolved not to feel guilty on my
choice of focusing on Asuka, to be there for her until she felt better.
So far, I had managed to suppress any feeling of guilt. But those
words... it felt as if she had just stabbed me with a knife.

>>>Touji: I'd say more like scissors, those are closest.

"I... I... I'm sorry..."
Her fingers brushed against one of my hands that was currently
resting on her shoulder. The touch was very gentle.
"It is not your fault. I understand. And I am glad that you are
helping her. So do not feel guilty."

>>>Shinji: That helps a 'whole' lot.

>>>Touji: How can you be so insensitive to her like that, shame Shin-man.

>>>Asuka: Aren't you on my side?

>>>Touji: I am, but I have to tease him in Kensuke's place.

"Rei..."
"We are together now, are we not? We should enjoy this moment..."
I smiled, my heart feeling lighter. What did I do to deserve the
love of such a girl?

>>>Hikari: Be indesisive and shy?

>>>Touji: Be a total play-boy?

>>>Asuka: Put air in the back of her?

I leaned over with the intent of kissing her, when I was suddenly
and rudely interrupted.
"Squawk! Squawk! Squawk!!!"
I looked down at the penguin. Was it my imagination or did Pen-Pen
seem angry with me? I couldn't really tell due to the sunglasses he was
wearing. Where did he pick those up anyway?

>>>Touji: Those look more like goggles.

>>>Hikari/Shinji: AHAHAHAhA he looks so kawaii!!

"Pen-Pen!"
The bird calmed down and looked at Rei, very happily it seemed. The
teenage girl bent down to pick him up and placed him on her lap.
"He... he seems to like you a lot..." I said, still confused by the
penguin's behavior. He... he couldn't be jealous... could he?

>>>Asuka: Dumb bird.

>>>Hikari: Shinji, you can be so dense.

"I hope he does. He is my only company here. Without him, I would
feel lonely. I think... I have grown used to company, ever since Asuka
came to stay with me..."

>>>Shinji: Adding another guilt trip to the day?

>>>Rei: I do not know what you mean.

"Oh... so... that means Misato-san still spends most of the day at
NERV..."
Misato had not lied when she had said she would be looking for the
truth. Ever since Kaji's death, her presence had faded from our lives
more and more.

>>>Touji: NO, WHY KAMI-SAMA WHY!?

"Yes. She only comes here to sleep, wash herself and change clothes.
She rarely eats breakfast either."
"Did she also keep her resolution to stop drinking beer?"

>>>Shinji: If Pen-Pen survived drinking it, I'd have to say yes.

>>>Asuka: Misato without the beer-buzz, hard to picture.

A bet after she had told me that Kaji was dead, she had promised she
would stop drinking as well. I hadn't really believed she could keep her
promise, but she had seemed to hold up until I moved to Asuka's
apartment.
"I have not seen her drink ever since I came to live here."
"Oh..."

>>>Shinji: But she's gone alot, bars do serve beer.

>>>Asuka: And she does have a stash in her office.

>>>Hikari: Doesn't she have some in the trunk of her car too?

I felt proud of her. Habits were hard to break and the death of Kaji
had given her a big blow. I knew better than anyone else how tempting it
must have been for her to try to run away from reality...

>>>Asuka: Speaking from experience?

>>>Shinji: Escape measure number 4.

"You should now try to cut my hair before it is completely dry."
I groaned. I had hoped she would change her mind. Obviously, she
didn't intend to. So I picked up the comb and scissors... and got to
work. I tried to stay calm, but I was a nervous wreck inside. I was sure
I would mess her hair up completely!

>>>Hikari: More foreshadow?

>>>Shinji: What do I know about hair care?

>>>Touji: How not to style it right.

"How... is Asuka?"
I had expected this question.
"A bit better. Hikari invited her to her house, to try and cheer her
up. But... there's still something... she won't speak about it. I think
she's starting to accept that there was nothing she could do against
that Angel... but I feel she's hiding something from me.

>>>Touji: The fact she's the devel's concubine?

>>>Asuka kicking his leg: That I plan to kill one of his friends.

She still cries at night. It... may be related to her mother.
She sometimes says 'Mama' in her sleep."
"I see... so you sleep with her."
I froze.

>>>Touji: Now that was a slip up.

>>>Rei: As long as it is only sleep, I have no problem.

"She sometimes... calls for me..."
I really wasn't ready to talk about that first night, but I didn't
want to lie about it either. So I hoped I could simply avoid talking
about it.
"Do not worry. I do not mind. It is the right thing to do."

>>>Shinji/Touji: Eeh?

>>>Asuka: It is the right thing, it's only natural to be with the ONE you love.

>>>Rei remains silent but glares at Asuka.

I did not miss, however, that her voice didn't seem as sure as her
words sounded.
I really felt that we needed a change of subject.
"Did you invite Hotaru over like I suggested?"
The blue-haired girl nodded with a smile. I was glad to hear that. I
had been afraid that Rei would feel lonely. She had once slept over at
Hotaru's house, but had never invited her friend here.

>>>Shinji: Evil child..the silence..THE SILENCE!!

>>>Touji: Get a grip man, that kid doesn't look evil.

As she got closer
to Asuka, Rei spent less time with her other friend. I thought it would
be a good opportunity for both of them to have some time together.
"So, you two had fun?"
"It was... very pleasant..."
I froze again.
Rei was blushing. Heavily. That... was not normal.

>>>Hikari: Ayanami...?

>>>Asuka: Maybe I don't have to worry after all.

>>>Rei: What are you insinuating?

>>>Touji: You're a carpet munYOOW!

>>>Shinji and Rei sit back down after the double smack.

"What... what did you two do?"
"We went to see a movie."
The words were said almost flatly, but her blushing increased. I
felt a growing sense of dread, especially when I remembered that Tokyo-
3's movie theater was now closed during the day and only showed one type
of movie during the night.

>>>Touji: And they let us kids in now.

>>>Hikari: How do you know this Suzahara?

>>>Shinji: Busted.

>>>Asuka/Rei: What about you?

My better judgment was telling me to drop the subject right here and
now.
"You... you... and... Hotaru... went to see a movie?"
So much for my better judgment...
"Yes."
"What... what kind of... movie?"

>>>Rei: By your earlier observations, why did you need ask?

>>>Asuka: Wants to know exactly how perverted you are.

>>>Rei: If I am perverted, and you claim Ikari-kun is, we are even more suited for
>>> each other.

>>>Hikari: Point for Ayanami.

Damn! Why did I ask? I didn't want to know...
Okay, I *did* want to know, but I was trying hard to keep that part
of me under control.
"An adult movie," whispered the still blushing Rei.
"W... why?"
"Hotaru-chan had questions... about sex."
"Ques... questions?"

>>>Touji: Part A is inserted into slot B and repeated.

>>>Hikari: TOUJI!!

>>>Touji: What, it's right isn't it?

>>>Asuka: Bet Wondergirl just dragged her off so she wouldn't be alone!

"Yes. She met someone over the Internet a few months ago. Someone
our age, if that person did not lie. It seems she has developed...
feelings for that individual. He asked to meet her in one week. She is
afraid to accept. She was uncertain about what to do.

>>>Shinji: How about nothing, people are age really shouldn't be doing that!

>>>Touji: WUSS!

>>>Shinji: SO WHAT!

So I told her
about our first date... and how it ended. That is when she asked
about... sex. She is quite shy and naive.

>>>Asuka: And she asked YOU! talk about the blind leading the blind.

>>>Rei: So she should have spoken to you?

>>>Asuka: Yeah!

>>>Rei: How did you get so skilled?

>>>Asuka blushing: I..uh..

>>>Hikari: Another point for Ayanami.

I thought a demonstration would be the best way for her to... learn."
"Did she...?"
"She felt too embarrassed to do anything while in the theater..."

>>>Touji: Why, isn't it natural to get the funk on in public?

While my brain was more or less in a process of shutdown, as one
other part of my person was struggling for control, it did catch the
possible implication that Rei may *not* have been embarrassed to. My
blood pressure probably rose at the thought, especially the mental image
that came along.

>>>Shinji: That's a...lie right, right?

>>>Rei: Affection should be shown when one feels the need as so 'lays a big one on him.'

>>>Hikari: That would make her an exhibitionist...can he get away?

>>>Touji: Not with the cuffs on...lucky bastard.

I also stopped noticing what I was doing with those scissors.
"... so I had to teach her once we got back home."
I was ready to faint then and there.
"WHAT!? You two... did you...?"
"No, she only followed my example."
While I felt relief at the thought, it didn't made me feel any more
comfortable.

>>>Asuka: Thats...just SICK!

>>>Hikari: What the movie or..'points at Rei who still hasn't let go of the poor boy.'

>>>Asuka: Huh? 'looks at where Hikari is pointing' KAMI-SAMA, let go he'll die!!

>>>Rei does as asked and Shinji...well slumps to the couch: No need be conservative.

"Do not worry, Shin-chan. You are the only one I desire. When I
watched those movies, I only thought of you."
If she had been facing me and looked me in the eyes while saying
that, I would probably have melted in her arms right there.
But it fortunately wasn't the case.

>>>Rei: Fortunately?

>>>Hikari: He is trying to cut your hair right now.

>>>Touji: Whats left of it...you're going to need a hat.

There was however some heavy tension in the air. Rei's heartbeat was
probably as fast as mine.
The situation could have grown out of control, that is if I had not
noticed what I had done with Rei's hair.
I gasped and forgot all about all that had been said seconds
earlier.
Oh god!
I started to sweat...

>>>Rei: I will not seek his aid for hair styling.

>>>Asuka: You try to get your hair to look so screwed up?
* * *

"I... I'm sorry..."
Rei gave me an annoyed look.
"You already apologized enough. It does not matter, Shinji. It will
grow back."

>>>Hikari: Slowly...very very slowly.

>>>Asuka: AHAHAHAHAH serves ya right for that kiss!

>>>Touji: Is he breathing alright?

>>>Rei: His breathing is labored, but he will recover.

I tried to avoid looking at her. I really felt bad about that. I had
warned her. Didn't I tell her I would mess her hair up?
Well, it wasn't *that* bad. Rei's hair had always been a bit unruly
after all.

>>>Touji: Cover-up cover-up!

>>>Hikari: She has a moe-hawk!

Actually, the right side wasn't bad (I didn't work on it
much). The problem was the left side was *much* shorter. So it really
gave Rei a weird look. I could have risked trying to remove some more
hair on the right, but a call from Headquarter about an Angel attack
prevented me from any further attempts.
It was probably for the better.

>>>Asuka: Maybe the commander could do it for you AHAHAHA.

>>>Rei: He cut a piece of my ear off the time he did try.

>>>Asuka's laugh died in her mouth.

>>>Shinji re-vitalized: THAT BASTARD!

At least, it did have the beneficial effect of making Asuka laugh,
for the first time in days. That is until Ritsuko ordered her to get
into her plugsuit. I wished Misato had been there, Ritsuko could be so
cold at times.

>>>Shinji: Like on her birthday.

>>>Asuka: Every other day of the week.

>>>Rei: Good.

For the first time ever, it was clear that Asuka wasn't at all eager to get into her EVA.
I felt really bad for her.
And even more worried.

* * *

Unit-01 was still in cryostasis. I didn't like that fact one bit.
After what had happened with the Fifteenth Angel, I had sworn to myself
not to let the girls out alone again.

>>>Touji: Afraid Ayanami would try teach Asuka some tricks?

>>>Asuka/Rei: You wish to die?

Apparently, the Commander didn't care about that. What an idiot!

>>>Silence.

>>>Shinji: That is the sound of nobody disagreeing with me.

There was no way Asuka was ready to go
back. Not yet. If I hadn't been scared to hurt Asuka more than she was
already, I would have asked to pilot Unit-02. But I knew they would have
refused anyway. I was the only one who could pilot Unit-01, even if it
was not to be used.
I really hated this.
The only thing that kept me from going crazy was my faith in Rei.
She would succeed. I had to believe in her.

>>>Shinji: Foreshadow?

>>>Rei: I do not like where the story line is headed.

"Rei..." I said as I opened a comm. link. Rei seemed very uneasy,
which worried me. When she was in her EVA, she usually kept a calm and
very professional attitude, her face would only show expression in very
tense or dangerous situations. But right now, the Angel had yet to
arrive...
"Be careful..." I added after a few seconds.
Rei's face softened, my words apparently being more meaningful than
whatever was worrying her.
"I will," she answered with a small smile, before terminating the
communication.
I was still worried, but at least not as much.

>>>Asuka: Why, because the girl with the worst sync ratio is fighting?

>>>Rei: He is worred because of that, you slipped.

>>>Asuka: I ment you.

>>>Touji: But I thought...

>>>Asuka: That's your problem.

>>>Hikari: Be nice!

* * *

By the time Misato finally got to NERV, the Angel had finally
arrived and was under observation by Rei, who awaited further orders. So
far, it had not used any mind-raping waves or energy blasts, which I
considered a good thing. It just floated.
"Rei! We'll observe its status for a while," ordered Misato, as she
finally took command.

>>>Shinji: It's a big flying dough-nut, what's to observe?

>>>Touji: Maybe if you filled that lake with coffee, it'd trap itself.

"No. It is coming."
What... what did she mean by that? Misato's words answered to that.
"Rei! Evasive action!"
"She can't! It's too late!" shouted Hyuuga.

>>>Shinji: The cops got it first.

>>>Asuka: That's what you get for having faith in her.

"Target has physically contacted Unit Zero!" confirmed Aoba.
My God! Rei! I hoped she was all right!
I think the people in the Control room analyzed the situation for a
short time. I'm not sure how long exactly; to me it felt like hours. But
eventually, Misato gave some orders to help Rei.

>>>Shinji: That looks...

>>>Asuka: Wrong.

"Eva Unit Two, launch! Have her rescue Rei, and provide cover."
I really wished she would have said to launch Unit-01, even it if
was unlikely. I really hoped that Asuka would manage to help. But part
of me had doubts.
"Asuka, advance three hundred meters and spread your AT-Field to
maximum, then fire the palette gun aiming at the target's back part,"
ordered Misato. "Eva Unit-02, lift off!"
For a long time, the only thing I could hear was the sound of
silence.

>>>Touji: The demon ran out of fresh souls for power.

>>>Asuka: Willing to give me yours, I'll make your death painless.

"Move out! Asuka! What's wrong? What's Unit-02's status?"
"She can't move, Major, her sync ratio is under 10%!" replied
Lieutenant Ibuki.
"Asuka!"
"It won't move... it just won't move..."
Those were the only words Asuka could say between sobs. It was as I
had feared. Asuka was unable to back Rei up; and even less capable of
rescuing her. It was too much too soon, she wasn't ready...

>>>Shinji: Leave it to father to make a bad situation worse.

>>>Rei: This is revenge for how long it took me to get the lance, is it not?

>>>Asuka: See how you like being left in the breeze.

Damn!
"Let me go out Misato!" I shouted as I activated Unit-01, this time
without effort.
I expected a negative answer. But I had to try. And if I needed to
destroy Headquarters to go help Rei, then I was resolved to do it. I
wouldn't let anyone be hurt anymore...
I think I was surprised as everybody else as I heard the Commander's
words.
"The freeze on Unit-01 is canceled, effective immediately. Launch it
as soon as possible."
I wasn't about to argue!

>>>Asuka: Why would you, you do whatever your told.

>>>Hikari: Everything?

>>>Touji: From anyone?

>>>Asuka/Rei: No/Yes.

>>>Shinji: 'Shoot me...Kami-sama please?'

>>>Kami-Sama is laughing her ass of in Heaven right now.

"I'm ready Misato! Get me out there quick!"
"Yes... sure! As soon as you're out, spread your AT-Field to full
power. A gun will be waiting for you. Grab it, fire at the target and
get Rei the hell out of there!"
"Yes Misato-san!"

>>>Asuka: But make sure you miss.

>>>Shinji: With my luck, I'll hit her instead.

Most likely, the fact that Unit-01 was already activated and
operational made things go faster, as within a minute, the giant
humanoid weapon had been moved to the launching bay. Soon, I felt the
familiar rush as I was catapulted to the surface.

>>>Shinji: Like a suger buzz.

>>>Asuka: Such a high buzz too.

I was finally able to
see with my eyes what was happening to Evangelion Unit-00, and had a
hard time waiting the few extra seconds needed to free my EVA from the
restraints. I wanted to simply run up to her and save her, but my common
sense told me I would have a better chance to do so if I followed
Misato's orders.

>>>Shinji: Unlike what happens when you don't follow orders.

>>>Hikari: That wasn't a pretty sight.

>>>Asuka: How could I have known it would split in two?

Apparently, activating my AT-Field made the Angel aware of my
presence. If it hadn't been for a warning by Misato, I would never have
been able to dodge its attack as my attention left it for a second or
two, time it took me to pick up the rifle that had been sent to me.
While one of its ends stayed attached to Unit-00, the other launched
itself at me. It missed, but it destroyed my rifle.

>>>Asuka: Oh...to bad wondergirl, you're angel food cake.

>>>Hikari: What are the odds?

>>>Rei: Nearly impossible.

>>>Shinji: Story of my life.

The end of that
thing twisted in mid-air, and again moved toward me. I don't know
exactly how I managed it; that thing was extremely fast, but somehow the
left hand of my EVA caught the worm of light. It twisted into the metal
fist to free itself, but I held tight. As the other arm of the EVA
reached for my progressive knife, I suddenly felt a sharp pain; as if my
left hand it was on fire or something.

>>>Shinji: Oh Jesus tap-dancing Christ what now?

>>>Touji: You fall on it and kill it?

>>>Hikari: Goes from bad to worse.

I looked at the view screen where
I noticed that Unit-01's left hand was getting deformed by the Angel. I
was later told it tried to contaminate the hand. Then I saw that my own
hand, under the plugsuit was suffering from the same type of "injuries"
as my EVA. On reflex, I almost let it go. But then, a thought occurred
to me.
It was not just an impression. I suffered from what my EVA suffered.
If so, then...
I looked at Unit-00...
Rei!

>>>Asuka: Varicos vains at 14, such poor health.

>>>Rei: At least I did not lose my mind.

>>>Asuka: BITCH!

>>>Hikari/Shinji: Keep in mind this is a movie!

I grabbed the prog knife and savagely hit the Angel many times,
trying to cut it in pieces. Blood gushed from the slashes. I was about
to literally cut it in two when suddenly I heard Rei scream through the
comm. system. The voice of Misato followed immediately.
"Shinji, whatever you do, stop it now! Rei's life sign are going
crazy!"
Oh no... was it possible that hurting that thing... hurt Rei?

>>>Shinji: WHAT!

>>>Rei: You seem to be cutting me as well as the angel.

>>>Touji: What is he supposed to do then?

>>>Rei: Lose.

This time, I tried to let go, but it now seemed fixed to the EVA's
fingers. Panicking, I dropped the knife and grabbed another part of the
Angel and pulled. I felt a very painful ripping sensation as the Unit's
left hand and the Angel were forcibly separated, leaving that hand a
bloodied mess. I didn't really want to think how badly my own hand was
injured, but I know it was almost too painful to try to use.

>>>Touji: A man with only one hand is only half a man.

>>>Hikari: You hentai!

>>>Touji: But its true!

>>>Shinji: No, Touji it's not.

I then let
go of the Angel before it would do damage to the other hand. Even after
only a few seconds, it had somehow melted the armor and has started to
attack the flesh of that hand. It felt as if I had just burned my hand
on a hot iron or something.

>>>Asuka: Or something or something, be more descriptive!

>>>Shinji: Fine it felt like my flesh was grafted to the angel and severed.

I tried to prepare myself to dodge a new attack by that thing, as
this was the only thing I could do for now until someone came up with
some kind of a plan, when suddenly, the Angel stiffened. On the other
side of the Angel, Unit-00 seemed to roll into a ball around the part of
the Angel that was connected to it. Over the comm. system, I heard the
words "Inversed AT-Field."
"Rei! What the hell are you doing?!" shouted an obviously upset
Misato.

>>>Rei: Trying to block out the pain.

>>>Touji: Trying to go to sleep?

>>>Rei: I do not sleep in the fetal position.

No answer from Unit-00. I grew worried. Rei had changed, but not as
much to ignore a question by a superior.
"Rei! Abandon the EVA! Eject your entry plug!" ordered Misato.
"No. If I leave, the AT-field will cease to be. So, I will not."
What... what was she saying? If she did that... she'd...
"Rei! Do what Misato says!"

>>>Shinji: No...

>>>Asuka: Going down with the ship, how oddly nobel of you.

>>>Hikari: Ayanami...it's so romantic!

A communication screen from Unit-00 appeared. However, the words
"Sound Only" was the only thing I could see on it.
"It is too late..."
"Rei!!!"
I couldn't let her do that! I couldn't let her die! Even if part of
me knew I'd never make it in time, my EVA ran toward Unit-00.
People in the control room did not notice it because of the LCL, but
I was crying.

>>>Rei: Death...it sucks.

>>>Shinji: Yes.

"Shinji... Whatever happens... never forget... that I love you."
"NO! Rei! Don't do this! REI!!!"
"I love you..."
Those whispered words were followed by the sound of a loud
explosion. The pure white light blinded me. I felt pain as the explosion
engulfed Unit-01 and sent it into the air, and even more pain as I
slammed into the ground hard, my own head hitting forcefully the entry
plug seat.

>>>Asuka: Good, she got one last smack in before she left...do I win now?

>>>Touji: Winner by default.

>>>Hikari/Rei: Wait!

I lost consciousness. I'm not sure if it was because of the
physical pain, however. I had felt worse in the past. I believe it was
because part of my heart was torn apart that day.

>>>Shinji: Torn, it was incenerated in front of my face!

>>>Rei: But I am still here.

>>>Shinji blushing: I ...ment the..movie me.

* * *

I woke up with a start, barely able to breathe, my mind still half-
asleep. In my dreams, an Angel had attacked and Rei had died.

>>>Touji: Time to make the jump from dreams to reality.

>>>Shinji: Of course it's a nightmare that comes true, why not my other dreams.

I tried to
get up, but the sheets of my bed were entangled around me and I lost my
balance and fell out of bed.

>>>Touji: He he, what a dumbass.

>>>Hikari: Guess the director was trying to lighten the mood.

That brought me back to reality. I wish it
hadn't however, as I realized I was in an infirmary room and not in my
own room. This would mean... I raised my hands to look at them. They
were wrapped in bandages. I remembered the pain I had felt as the Angel
had contaminated Unit-01's hands with only a single touch.
That... that couldn't be...

>>>Shinji: My sdat hand!!

>>>Asuka: Where am I?

Awkwardly but frantically, I removed the bandages of my left hand.
The light was dim, but I could still clearly see how swollen the skin
was in some places. There were even a few light scars here and there,
proof that some kind of operation had been done.

>>>Hikari: But by removing the bandages, won't that cause permanent damage?

>>>Rei: If not set yet, yes.

>>>Touji/Asuka: Dumbass.

The slight dizziness I
was feeling was probably a side effect from the painkillers that surely
made those injuries bearable.
The Angel had contaminated Unit-01's hands.
I had tried to fight it, but it only hurt Rei.
So, Rei...

>>>Asuka: Would be really really pissed if she survived.

>>>Touji: She's a burnt shadow on the sidewalk?

>>>Rei: Insolence!

No. No. NO!!!
Without really thinking, I rushed out of the room, not caring about
the fact that I was only wearing a hospital gown (at least I wasn't
naked this time).

>>>Hikari: Whow...

>>>Shinji: AH! don't look!

>>>Rei: You have a firm back-side Shinji-kun.

>>>Asuka: Have to love hospital gowns.

I had to find Rei. Surely she was alive! She must have
escaped! If I looked around, I would find her!

>>>Touji: That is Shinji in denial, any questions?

>>>Asuka: Yeah, why am I not there!

My reaction had not gone unnoticed by the staff of the infirmary. It
had probably something to do with the fact that I was asking for her at
the top of my lungs. I had only checked five or six rooms when I was
grabbed by three nurses. I tried to escape them, but they managed to
inject me with something. I lost consciousness on the spot.

>>>Shinji: No...not my weakness!

>>>Touji: A pocki injection!

>>>Shinji: It..just tastes so good...one bite and I'm in seventh heaven.

* * *

When I woke up again, my mind seemed wrapped in a thick fog. It was
probably the effects of some sedative.

>>>Shinji: After all the times I've been given drugs, you'd think I'd have
>>> developed an addiction.

>>>Asuka taking some advil: We did 'toss him and Rei a few.'

>>>Shinji: Thanks

>>>Rei nods.

I stared at the ceiling, and felt tears wet my cheeks. My mind was a bit of a mess,

>>>Shinji: Again?

>>>Asuka: You're becoming yourself again.

but there were some
facts I couldn't ignore. I hadn't reached Unit-00 and yet the explosion
had sent my EVA flying in the air, even with my AT-Field at full
strength. Even if she had ejected, Rei's entry plug would have been
almost at the center of the explosion. There was no way an entry plug
could have survived.
Rei was... dead.

>>>Shinji: That...is just wrong.

>>>Rei: Agreed, I knew I wasn't going to enjoy this installment.

>>>Asuka: I wanted to win, but not like that, but I'll make him happy for ya!

"Shinji..."
I looked up to see Misato standing at the side of my bed. She seemed
sad. Not as much as when she told me that Kaji was dead, but it was
close.
"Misato-san... tell me this is just a nightmare... please..."

>>>Touji: How can it be a nightmare with her there?

>>>Shinji: You'd be surprized.

>>>Hikari: She's in alot of my nightmares.

She just shook her head. Some tears made their way down her cheeks.
"No... please, no!"
I was crying again, tears flowing freely this time.
Misato sat down on the edge of the bed at my side. She looked at me
straight in the eyes.
"She's gone, Shinji."

>>>Asuka: She moved away because of those wounds you caused her.

>>>Touji: You heartless bastard you.

I remember the day following the trip to the lake. How sad I had
been. At that time, it had felt as if it was the end of the world. How
naive of me. Not being loved by someone isn't the most painful
experience you can live. What hurts most is losing someone you love. And
it's even worse if that person loves you back.

>>>Touji: I'd say lossing an arm and a leg would hurt more.

>>>Asuka: You still complaining about that little flesh wound?

>>>Hikari: It was his arm and leg Asuka.

>>>Rei: So, I'm dead.

The pain I felt at that moment was so intense it was almost
physical. It was as if I was about to be engulfed in a sea of darkness.

>>>Shinji: That happened already.

>>>Touji: Then you tore ass out of that thing.

Probably instinctively, I reached for Misato, held her as tightly as I
could, not to be swept away by that wave of sorrow. I don't remember
much more then that. I only remember the pain.

>>>Rei: All I remind you of is pain?

>>>Shinji: Not you, the death.

>>>Rei simply doesn't understand and drops subject.

I probably fell asleep,
as I remember clearly waking up, my head just below her chest. Her arms
were around me, and she laid asleep on the bed herself. The pain was
there, and I still had some tears left to cry, but the feelings were not
as intense as before.

>>>Asuka: You cry to easily.

>>>Hikari: Give him a break, he had to see somebody he loved...explode.

>>>Touji: But the demon explodes emotionally all the time?

My sobs probably woke her up, as she brought one
or her hands up to my head to stroke my hair. It was now her turn to
comfort me.
"Somehow... it will be okay, Shinji... I promise..."

>>>Shinji: She can bring back the dead?

>>>Rei: That is doctor Akagi's department.

She made no effort to get up. She just laid there, letting me rest.
"How...?"
"I... I don't know Shinji..."
Despite the pain in my heart, it felt good being there. It felt good
to feel her regular breathing. I didn't feel alone.

>>>Asuka/Rei: You don't have...feelings do you?

>>>Shinji: Wa?

>>>Touji: Let me touch your head man...please!

Moments of relative peace as these can't last forever, however. I
was slowly drifting to sleep when Hyuuga came in the room. Had I not
been so depressed, I might have laughed at the expression that appeared
on his face when he saw the way Misato was holding me. Poor Makoto...

>>>Shinji: What happend to him?

>>>Hikari: You can't tell?

>>>Shinji: No.

>>>Asuka: That explains alot, baka.

>>>Rei: 'Mental note- Shinji-kun cannot see others feelings at all.'

"I... I'm sorry Major, but... the Commander wants to see you."
He did look really sorry, I realized as our eyes met. Part of my
brain took notice that Hyuuga was a good man. The other part was still
fixed on Rei's death.
I didn't want Misato to leave, but I knew she didn't have much
choice. So I let her get up.
"I'm sorry, Shinji..."
"It's okay..."
She was about to leave, when she spoke again.
"Whenever you feel ready, you can go back home. There's... something
for you there. A letter. I asked Asuka to put it in your room..."
A letter? A letter... from Rei?

>>>Asuka: A dear John letter.

>>>Touji: She was going to elope with that Hotaru girl.

>>>Hikari: Then why give it to Asuka?

>>>Touji: Maybe they don't hate each other like they say they do.

This shook me up enough to clear my mind. In a rush, I looked for my
clothes and put them on. A few minutes later, I was on my way home.

>>>Shinji: Still heavily sedated.

>>>Rei: That is why you are drooling so much.
* * *



My dearest Shinji,

>>>Asuka: I hate you and am leaving with my female lover.

>>>Rei reaches across Shinji and punches Asuka's kidney: I am not a lesbian.

>>>Touji: You just like...nevermind.

>>>Shinji making threating gestures at him.

Ever since the attack of the Fifteenth Angel, I have felt a
sense of dread wash over me. I do not know why, but I feel that the next
battle may very well be my last. Maybe I am just scared. What happened
to Asuka is frightening and the Angels appear to becoming stronger and
stronger.

>>>Asuka: You call a piece of pasta strong?

>>>Hikari: Like a big soba noodle.

>>>Rei/Shinji: If pasta adheres to your flesh.

I am aware of the level of my skills, and I doubt that I can
win on my own against the next Angel. But I have sworn to myself that I
would always keep you safe. And I intend to keep that oath. I am scared,
yet at peace.

I hope, however, that I will be able to come back to you.

>>>Hikari: Isn't it funny how people always get these notes AFTER the battles?

>>>Shinji: Makes them alot more painful to read.

But if I cannot... please know that I am sorry. You will likely
soon learn the secrets I tried to keep from you. I wanted to tell you,
but I never found the strength. Because I know I would have lost you if
I had.

I should never have existed. Yet, I am.

>>>Shinji: What does that mean?

>>>Rei: I..I..'Rei stands and tries to walk out of the room but..'

>>>Shinji: Rei, handcuffs, you can't run away.

>>>Rei: Damn.

I also thank you, Ikari Shinji. You gave me so much. Before
knowing you, I existed, but did not live. I only existed for His
purposes.

>>>Shinji: Everybody that things "his" refers to my father.

>>>All hands go up.

You made me feel. You made me think. You gave me a will. You
gave me life. I could never thank you enough.

Know that I love you, Shinji.

I love you. I will always.


Rei

>>>Rei and Hikari actually have a tear in their eyes.

>>>Asuka: When did you get so sappy?

>>>Touji: Mush, romantic mush.

>>>Shinji: You deserve to be..no matter what those secrets are.

As I read the first words, I felt my knees buckle. As I reached the
middle of the letter, tears fell on the sheet of paper, messing up Rei's
neat handwriting. I was unable to stand anymore. As I finished the
letter, I was curled into a ball in the floor, crying my heart out
again.

>>>Asuka: You've been doing that alot lately.

>>>Shinji: Sorry seeing friends die causes me emotional discomfort.

>>>Asuka: I agree but..but..'wipes tears' seeing others..makes me..and..

>>>Shinji puts his hand on her shoulder: It's ok, only a movie right?

>>>All: Right.

She had known she would die. Clutched in my hand was proof of that.
A silver cross on a silver chain; the cross she always wore. I had found
it in a small envelope along with the letter.
She had known she would die, yet, she still piloted.
'But I have sworn to myself that I would always keep you safe.'
For my sake.
'And I intend to keep that oath.'
She had. And it had cost her life. Why? Why did she do this?

>>>Asuka: Because she loved you Baka!

So I could live?

>>>Touji: And not bitch about it later!

Didn't she know I would rather have died than know that she
had sacrificed her life for mine?

>>>Rei: You would gladly die for anybody you know.

>>>Shinji: I don't want you people to die.

>>>Touji: We respect that man, so DON'T BE SO DOWN!

I rose up and looked at the ceiling, toward the sky I could not see,
toward that place where they said that God lived. That god who had sent
his messengers to destroy us. That god who had taken Rei from me.
It wasn't fair... it wasn't fair!
"It's not fair! REI!"

>>>Rei: Mothers sick sense of humor.

>>>Hikari whispering to Asuka: She means the mother of all of us right?

>>>Asuka: How should I know?

I collapsed on the floor. Pain was leaving place to anger. I hit the
floor with my fist, then a second time, and then a third.

>>>Shinji: Until the pain from my hand knocked me out.

>>>Touji: Another escape measure?

>>>Shinji: Yeah, but I don't like that one.

Again and
again, until the bandages of my hands were stained with red and my hands
felt too numb to hurt anymore.
Unknown to me, someone had watched all this, in a mix of horror,
pain and confusion. I only became aware of her presence as her arms
encircled me.
Soft feminine arms. Warm and comforting.
"... Rei?"

>>>Touji: Since when was Ayanami a zombie?

>>>Hikari: He's in hystarics.

>>>Asuka: Finally I make an apperance.

"Shinji..."
She had only whispered my name. But it was enough to recognize the
voice. Asuka.
Some irrational thought wanted me to break free of her embrace. This
wasn't right. Rei was the one who usually comforted me. Sometimes
Misato. Never Asuka. But I felt too weak to struggle.
And then a felt a tear on my cheek. A tear that had not been shed by
my eyes.
Then I heard the sobs, joining mine.
I'm sure if someone had been there to watch us, they would have had
found it hard to believe these two children, one holding the other while
both were crying, were mankind's only hope.

>>>Touji: And we wonder why we need to repair the city so much.

>>>Asuka: How about next time I step on your house?

>>>Rei: Ungrateful.

* * *

After some time, we eventually calmed down. Asuka was lying on the
floor and I was lying on her side, my head resting on her developing
chest,

>>>Shinji: Asuka...see Touji she can be nice!

>>>Asuka: Pervert 'smiles' but thanks.

>>>Touji: Two big wimps.

rocked by the slow movement of her regular breathing. The thought
occurred to me that my head was probably very heavy for her and that her
position, sandwiched between me and the floor was probably
uncomfortable, but I felt unwilling and unable to move.
"I should be glad that she's dead. I can have you all to myself
now."
Asuka...

>>>Rei: Is an uncaring she-beast.

>>>Hikari: She said SHOULD, she doesn't.

>>>Touji: Proof is in the action, ten to one she hits on him.

"But I'm not. I feel horrible for even considering the thought and I
feel sad whenever I think about her."
I was hearing the words, but didn't really feel anything about them.
"I really hated her. I often wished for her to die."
I didn't even feel angry.
"Why am I not glad she's gone?"

>>>Shinji: Because you're not evil?

>>>Rei: Not enough time has past for her to make use of the situation.

>>>Asuka: I like Shinji's better.

I didn't have anything to say.
"It's confusing. I think she was my friend. I think I cared about
her. I know that knowing she's gone... it hurts..."
So I kept quiet.
"I should have died instead of her. I'm the useless one. I couldn't
even take one step. I failed her utterly. I failed everyone else. I'm
worthless."

>>>Shinji: And the depression sets in again, Hikari you know this movie
>>> can be used to kill depressed people right?

>>>Hikari: Its not that bad.

>>>Rei: I'm dead.

>>>Touji: I'm mangled.

>>>Asuka: I'm broken.

Silence filled the room again for a long time. Seconds, maybe even
minutes.
"Why? She died for me... why?" I finally said.
"Because she loved you more than life itself."
"But I loved her too..."
Silence.
"I know..." Asuka's voice seemed almost broken as she said those
words.
"SHINJI!"

>>>Shinji: AAAAHHHHHH!!...how can she do that!

>>>Touji: MISATO-SAN is back!!

I heard Misato say my name as she ran in the apartment and burst
into my room. Her face appeared on the door opening, she seemed almost
out of breath, yet there was such a sparkle of life in her eyes.

>>>Shinji: No comment about the pile of pilot?

>>>Rei: She is to overcome with emotion to joke.

>>>Touji: But its so..so..

>>>Hikari: It's out of friendship, not lust.

"She's alive!"
I bolted right up as I heard those words, my entire body feeling
suddenly energized, forgetting all about the girl that was holding me.

>>>Touji: Breaking her arms.

>>>Hikari: And her spirit again.

>>>Shinji: Damn, I'm breaking alot of things today.

>>>Asuka: Your hand, Unit-00, my feelings!

>>>Rei: It is not everyday somebody comes back from the dead.

It couldn't be... but if it was true...
"What?!"
"She's alive! Rei's alive!"
Thank God!
"Where?!"

>>>Asuka: The twilight zone!

>>>Touji: In your heart.

>>>Shinji: More than one person is there.

"NERV infirmary, First Cranial Nerve section!"
This was all I needed to know. I was out of the apartment in a
flash, followed closely by Misato, leaving a shocked Asuka behind.

>>>Asuka: That's what I get for being nice to you.

>>>Shinji: You know you'd be happy too.

>>>Asuka: Well...'Now I would but awhile ago I wouldn't have.'
* * *

She was there. Looking out through a window, bandages on her head
and arms, a patch over her right eye, wearing an infirmary nightgown.
She was there!

>>>Shinji: Looking exactly like she did the first...time..I?

>>>Rei: This talk was postponed to long.

I ran toward her. If this was a dream, I prayed I wouldn't wake up
before reaching her.
"Rei! You're alright! Thank God! You're... you're alive!"
Everything was alright now. She was alive. She hadn't been taken
from me. We could go back to the way we were before.

>>>Shinji: Wait!

>>>Touji: Her head isn't all screwed up!

>>>Asuka: What the hell?

With Rei's help,
Asuka would get better. We'd fight off the last Angels together, nothing
could stop us now. We'd all get over this, now that Rei was back.
"Who are you?"
Those words hit me like a ton of bricks.

>>>Touji: Followed by Asuka's fist for ditching her.

>>>Asuka: She can't...remember him, sweet I still win!

>>>Rei: Only for a short time.

It's then I noticed them. The changes. Small details. The flawless
unruly blue mop of hair, which had not suffered from my attempts to cut
it. Her bandages, on the same exact places then we first met. The
expression on her face, an expression I had not seen in months, never
this lifeless.
This was not Rei.
"You're not Rei."

>>>Rei: You are both correct and incorrect.

>>>Shinji: Why am I glad I'm sitting down?

>>>Rei: I believe the movie will show in time.

>>>Asuka: Like it did with me?

>>>Hikari: Is it a requirement that pilots have nasty skeletons in their closets?

I wanted to scream, but the words came out flatly.
She looked at me for a whole minute, analyzing me.
"I think not. I think, probably, I am the third."

>>>Shinji: But I'm the third..no wait?

>>>Asuka: If she's the third, that makes you the second, and me the first!!

I did not completely understand those words. But some of those were
clear enough for me. This... thing... wasn't Rei. And if it wasn't Rei,
then Rei was...
No... no...

>>>Asuka: Still playing her harp in heaven.

>>>Touji: Why you think dead people play crappy music?

"NO!"
This... this couldn't be true. Someone... someone must have been
playing a cruel joke on me. Otherwise, why give this thing the face of a
girl I loved?

>>>Shinji: Kami-Sama likes to piss in my Misu?

>>>Rei: Mine as well.

But those red eyes...
I... I couldn't look at that thing one more second. So I ran as far
from it as I could.

>>>Shinji: Great, I'm a sprinter again.

>>>Touji: Run Shinji Run.
* * *

I don't know exactly how long it took for me to get back to my
senses.

>>>Hikari: Several years most likely.

I had probably wandered the Geofront like some madman for
minutes, maybe even hours. I stared at the patch of watermelon right in
front of me. Something in my unconscious had probably prompted me to
come here. Feeling exhausted, I let myself fall on my knees.

>>>Shinji: When you have a breakdown, what do you do?

>>>Touji: Seek melons, and since ya pissed your the other girl off has to be
>>> fruit.

>>>Asuka: So...you're saying he should have came to me because of?

>>>Hikari: Think before speaking Touji.

>>>Touji: Nothing, nothing at all.

"Kaji... what should I do... I don't understand what's going on..."
Why did he have to die? I needed help. I needed answers. What was
going on? What had happened to Rei? If the girl I had seen was not Rei,
then what was it?

>>>Rei: Me, but before I remember.

>>>Asuka: But you died.

>>>Rei: 'They don't understand.'

I could ask Misato... but I doubt she had the answers. She wouldn't
have told me that Rei was alive if she hadn't believed that. Kaji would
have known... but he was dead. Who? Who could tell me?
"Doctor Akagi."

>>>Rei: You are seeking answers in the wrong place.

>>>Shinji: She'd tell me but I wouldn't understand it.

>>>Asuka: She can make taking a shower into a ten minute lecture.

She always seemed to know a lot, more then she would say. She was
the head behind Project-E. If there was something wrong about one of the
pilots, she would be the first to know. She had to have the answers.
The question was: Would she give them to me?

>>>Touji: The blond bomb-shell?

>>>Hikari/Asuka: Dyed-blond.

>>>Shinji: I don't think I'd like to 'pay' the price she'd ask for.

There was only one way to know.
"Thank you Kaji... I'm sure somehow... you inspired me..."
I got up, gave a last look to the fruits, then walked toward NERV.

>>>Touji: What he inspires in men is something wonderful.

>>>Shinji: How to womanize?

>>>Touji: Thats it.

>>>Hikari: I knew I didn't like him for some reason.
* * *

I had never visited Ritsuko's office, but I had a vague idea of
where it was, so finding it was no problem. Curiously, she was actually
there, staring at her computer. At least for once, something went right.
"Doctor Akagi."

>>>Touji: What's that sound?

>>>Rei: It sounds like Miss Ibuki.

>>>Shinji: I don't see her though...oh hell.

>>>Asuka: Guess it didn't go as well as you thought.

Startled, the blond haired scientist almost jumped off her seat.
Only then, I noticed what was on her computer screen. It was a picture
of my father, a woman I didn't know but who seemed somehow...
familiar...

>>>Shinji: I knew father lied!!

>>>Asuka: That looked like Wondergirl with brown hair.

and a young woman that looked like Ritsuko, only younger and
with brown hair. Could it be...

>>>Hikari: A really bad dye job.

>>>Asuka: What a stupid color.

a picture of Ritsuko, from years ago? In
any case, it didn't matter, so I brought my attention back to the
Doctor, who had quickly calmed down from her startled state.
"What can I do for you, Shinji?"
Usually, Ritsuko gave off an air of calm and control. Not this time.
It was as if she had been... shaken by something. And it wasn't my
unexpected visit, I was sure. As I stared at the brown eyes, I noticed
that they were slightly puffy and red.

>>>Touji: Looks like you caught her in the act.

>>>Shinji: What act?

>>>Asuka: What college students call mind altering drugs.

>>>Rei: Nerv must initiat drug tests.

I realized I didn't care.
"I want the truth. I want to know what was that thing I saw in the
infirmary."
For a moment, her eyes went wide.
"The infirmary? You mean Rei?"
"It wasn't Rei."
Again, she seemed surprised.

>>>Hikari: Why not, you're actually being bold and straightforward.

>>>Rei: That would put many on edge.

"I have no idea what you're trying to say, Shinji. And I assure you,
the person you saw is Ayanami Rei."
"No, it looks like her, but it isn't her. She couldn't have grown
hair in less then a day. And I've seen the explosion up close. There was
no way she could have lived through that. Besides..." I added as I
looked at both my bandaged hands, "... her injuries would have been
really awful."
Surprisingly, this time, the Doctor only nodded.

>>>Shinji: She's going to kill me isn't she?

>>>Rei: She will either do that, or do something that will make me wish for her death.

"Just as I thought. Not everyone would have believed in Rei's sudden
reappearance. Very well, Shinji... know that I'm not lying when I'm say
that the person you saw is Ayanami Rei. The truth is far more
complicated."
"Then, what's the truth?"
"You won't believe me, so I might as well show you..."

>>>Touji: What's that sound?

>>>Shinji pale: Um..guys...Rei...Rei's really really pissed off!

>>>Ayanami Rei as just begun to growl like tiger and clawing at the armrest.
* * *

I followed the Doctor in dark corridors deep underground, definitely
lower then the levels I had access to. I must admit, I felt a bit
nervous about all this, but I was determined to see this through. I was
determined to get answers to my questions.

>>>Rei: The 'good' doctor will be punished for her transgressions.

>>>Asuka: I pity you for being chained to her Shinji.

>>>Shinji: Rei...you're squeezing my...hand to tight.

'You will likely soon learn the secrets I tried to keep from you. I
wanted to tell you, but I never found the strength. Because I know I
would have lost you if I had.'
Those secrets Rei could not tell me... I had to know what they were.

>>>Touji: What her real age or her weight.

>>>Hikari/Asuka/Rei: Men will never learn such details.

We had been walking in some poorly lit corridor for a while when
Ritsuko stopped in front of a door. I realized it was the first door we
had seen ever since we had left the elevator that had led us to this
level. The words 'Terminal Dogma: Level 1 Sector 2' were written above
it. Although, at first glance, I rather noticed the words 'Keep out'.
And I must say I didn't really feel at ease when I also noticed the
words 'Trespassers will be shot on sight'.

>>>Shinji: So she is going to kill me.

>>>Touji: Boss I shot a trespasser.

>>>Hikari: Easy way to get away with murder.

>>>Asuka: Thanks Stooge.

The only reassuring thought
was that I was the only EVA pilot available right now, therefore
indispensable, that is until they did compatibility tests between
Ayanami and Unit-02... or until they found another pilot. I shuddered at
the thought, remembering what had happened to the Fourth Children...

>>>Touji: May my arm and leg haunt you forever.

In a swift movement, Ritsuko slid a red card into a card reader on
the left of the door.
Nothing happened. The Doctor seemed obviously surprised.
"It won't work without my pass."

>>>Touji: Hikari?

>>>Shinji: When did you become hall-moniter?

>>>Asuka: And why do we need a pass to get into that room?

I nearly gasped as suddenly, Misato was behind the blonde haired
scientist, her gun on her back. I never saw her coming. She had a very
serious expression on her face. Somehow, I felt that she might actually
use her weapon if needed to. It scared me. This wasn't my Misato...

>>>Asuka: When did she become "my Misato?"

>>>Rei: You are not keeping something from us?

>>>Shinji: We had sloppy sex on top of your hospital beds!

>>>Rei jerks her cuffed hand so Shinji hits 'himself' while Asuka simply punches him.

>>>Hikari: Guys...he was joking, he is basically her son now.

>>>Asuka: Still a pervert for saying that.

I wondered... could I have gone this far myself to know the truth?
"I see. Did Kaji arrange this?"
For someone who had a gun poking into her back, the Doctor didn't
seemed perturbed at all.
"I want to know the secrets you hide here."
"Very well. I was on my way to show Shinji some of them. You can
come along."

>>>Touji: She can go wherever she wants lady!

>>>Rei: If she can get past the pit-bulls that spit bee's.
* * *

We used what I can only describe as an elevator of light. No, that's
not an accurate description. Rather, a metal platform that slowly went
down some sort of chain of bright red energy beams, entwined together a
bit like a DNA chain.

>>>Shinji: Odd sense of decoration.

>>>Asuka: Why not, Nerv uses a pot-leaf as half of its logo.

I have no idea how the thing worked, how we seemed
to go down, floating, without cables. The thought of asking Ritsuko
never even came to mind. I just stared at the beam of light, half
amazed, half lost in thoughts. The Doctor and Major were not more
talkative.

>>>Touji: Such great commentary.

>>>Rei: Silence is a good thing, you would do well to rember that.

When we reached the bottom of the "elevator", we ended up in yet
another huge and dark corridor, without apparent end. At least, there
was a few small electric vehicles at our disposal this time. Without
wasting time, Ritsuko motioned us to get on and we went on our way to...
only Ritsuko knew where.

>>>Asuka: The unmarked graves she has set up.

>>>Hikari: She is taking them into a very secluded spot.

After a few minutes, she stopped in front of twin metal doors. On
their left, there was a panel, with numbers on it. We got out of the
vehicle, then Ritsuko entered a series of numbers, then slid her card
into a card reader on the panel. The doors slid open.
There was no light in the room. It seemed rather large, but I
couldn't really make out the size. I did notice however that we seemed
to be standing on a small platform as there was railing all around us.
As the metal doors closed, the room became pitch black. I couldn't
see a thing, I couldn't even see Ritsuko and Misato. I wasn't very
comfortable with the idea.

>>>Touji: Why not, best things happen in the dark.

>>>Rei: Not with those two.

>>>Hikari: Thinking about your hentai collection again Suzahara?

Then, lights in the ceiling came on, briefly
blinding me. As I got my sight back, I was shocked to realize that the
room before us was huge. I couldn't even guess how large it was. But
more shocking was what I saw on the ground. Bones. Giant bones.

>>>Shinji: Baby-back ribs?

>>>Asuka: So that's where Nerv dumps its garbage.

Some
kind of skulls, vertebrae that made a giant spinal column, shoulder
blades... overall, the remains of probably a few dozens giant beings.
"Are these... EVAs?" I asked, still under the shock of that sight.
"The first experimentations," answered Ristuko coldly. "Failures.
Disposed of 10 years ago."
"A graveyard for EVAs."
"Nothing that sophisticated, Shinji. It's only a dumping ground."

>>>Rei: Tell that to the living flesh that had to decompose.

>>>Hikari: Why is the ground crawling?

>>>Rei: That would be the carrion feeders.

As I was staring at what might have been Evangelions, I only heard
Ritsuko opening the doors before the light went off. She walked out and
Misato and I simply followed her in silence.
While riding toward our next destination, the Doctor commented what
we had just seen.

>>>Hikari: Dead things.

>>>Rei: Long dead.

>>>Touji: What is to explain?

"As you could see, Evangelion science is not something we fully
comprehend.

>>>Asuka/Rei/Shinji: NO, really?

A lot of mistakes were made while we learned. Out of those
experimentations, we only managed to make two workable Evangelions.

>>>Shinji: So Unit-2,3, and 4 didn't really exist.

>>>Touji: Something took my body parts.

The
rest were failures. And even our two successes were not without
problems. Unit-00, since it was the prototype, never provided the same
efficiency as Unit-02. As for Unit-01... it brought a curse upon what
was to become NERV."
Unit-01? A curse?

>>>Asuka: YOU! Shinji Ikari!

>>>Shinji: I think of it as a curse...sometimes.

>>>Rei: I am glad for its creation.

After two minutes of driving, the Doctor stopped in front of a
single metal door. Again, she entered a code on a numeric lock and the
door slid open. The lights revealed a room with a table, a number of
pieces of old computer equipment and a lot of wires on the wall and
floor, as well as shattered windows.

>>>Shinji: The renovators suck at Nerv.

>>>Touji: What a dump.

Beyond the windows seemed to be a
very large room. While this was not the perspective I was used to, it
reminded me of the room in which the EVA compatibility test had been
performed, that is until Unit-00 went berserk, as I tried to synch with
it, and trashed the room.

>>>Touji: What happend after that?

>>>Asuka: They took the money to repair it out of his salery.

>>>Shinji: I don't make any money anymore.

"This looks like the room where EVAs activation tests are
performed," noted Misato, confirming my thoughts.
"Yes. Which is perfectly natural since that was the purpose of this
place. This is where the earlier activation tests of the prototype and
test type Evangelions were made."
"Unit-00 and Unit-01?" I asked.
"Yes. Do you remember this place Shinji?"
There was a strong sense of deja vu, but...
"No... I... I don't..."
"I'm not surprised. This is the place where your mother disappeared.

>>>Shinji: You have got to be shitting me!

>>>Asuka: Your mom disappeared during an activation test?

You were here when it happened. You saw it all, you were watching, the
moment when she disappeared."
"Ritsuko!" said a shocked Misato.
It was too late however, as the memories began to arise within me.
It was not very clear. I remembered Mother taking me here. Then she left
me with Father.

>>>Hikari: That was a mistake.

>>>Rei: First of two.

There was also a woman with him. I was looking through
the windows... I saw her wearing something like a plugsuit... entering
something resembling an entry plug... then a man came in the room...
Sub-commander Fuyutsuki? Then... the voice of mother... then...
screams... Mother... Father crying...
Mother never came back after that...

>>>Shinji: So...that explains why.

>>>Touji: Mommies little boy!

>>>Shinji: I guess I am, damn glad too, my mother can wreck cities!

I blacked out.

* * *

I woke up hearing the worried voice of Misato. Ritsuko just leaned
against a wall and looked at me impassively.

>>>Hikari: Is she really that big a bitch?

>>>Rei: Yes.

>>>Shinji/Asuka: Don't know.

As I recognized where we were, I almost panicked, but after a few
longs seconds, I calmed down. I remembered now... but I wished I didn't.
Mother had been killed... in what was apparently a synch test.
Then, could this mean...? This was the piece of the puzzle I had
been missing, or rather that I hadn't been willing to face. It explained
everything: that warm feeling I always felt inside EVA,

>>>Shinji: It's not the LCL?

>>>Asuka: Only if they heated it.

why Unit-01 had always protected me and why Father was so protective of it.
Mother was inside Unit-01.
The thought didn't make me feel better.
"So, you understand now, Shinji. This is what you've been running
away all of your life, this is what made your father the man he is
today."

>>>Shinji: Because he traded his love from my mom into a mecha fetish?

>>>Asuka: Hope he never gets into your entry plug.

>>>Shinji: AAAAAHHHHHHH! Bad...mental...image.

"Yes."
"Good. We can move along then."
"Wait! What's going on here?" asked Misato.

>>>Rei: Doctor Akagi is telling classified secrets.

>>>Touji: The series is ending and they need to answer questions?

>>>Hikari: The director is trying to confuse the hell out of us?

I gave her the most reassuring smile I could make up.
"I'll tell you soon."
This didn't seem to satisfy Misato, but she didn't insist. I was
glad. We followed Ritsuko. Apparently, our next location was near as we
walked this time. In fact, it was just on the other side of the
corridor. Above the metal door, the words 'Artificial Evolutionary
Laboratory' were written. As before, the Doctor had to type a numeric
code to open the door.

>>>Rei: It was going to happen eventually.

>>>Asuka: A.E.L. what the hell?

I guess that normally my first reaction would have been one of
surprise, but I was a bit out of it from all that I learned in the
previous room. It didn't prevent me from realizing that this place
seemed familiar however.
"This room... it looks just like Rei's room. Before she came to live
in our apartment complex."

>>>Rei: I will request a transfer, that place no longer looks habitable.

"I'm not surprised, since this is the place where Ayanami Rei was
born," said Ritsuko matter of factly.
"Rei was born... in this room?"

>>>Touji: Explains the mess on the floor, doesn't anybody clean at Nerv?

>>>Hikari: A mock room in a building, why?

>>>Rei: The commander is a strange man.

"Yes."
Misato seemed impatient to go ahead, apparently not finding anything
of interest in this room, but I barely noticed and didn't care. I still
had questions.
"Is this why Rei was so...?"

>>>Shinji: Withdrawn?

>>>Hikari: Dirty?

>>>Asuka: Weird?

>>>Rei: 'Mental note- they don't seem to care about my origens.'

I couldn't really find the right words.
"Inept at living? Is this what you're trying to ask? Perhaps. This
is where she spent her first months, before she was relocated outside of
Headquarters.

>>>Shinji: If she was born and then relocated a few months later...

>>>Hikari: She grew up REALLY fast.

>>>Asuka: How old are you?

The image of this place was probably burned deeply into
her psyche. Her birth place. The reason she existed. Her destiny. This
is also where she met Him."
Him? The Commander? Father?
What exactly was his role into all this?

>>>Shinji: The evil mastermind freak.

"Dr. Akagi, I didn't come to see this," Misato said finally, tired
of waiting.
"Be patient, Major. You'll have the answers you seek as I give
Shinji the information he asked of me. But you're right, there's nothing
left to see here. So we might as well go forward."
We exited the room to walk toward yet another metal door. Ritsuko
looked at me and gave me a serious look.
"This is your last chance to stop Shinji. Once you've seen what's
behind this door, your perception of some things will be changed
forever. You'll know the truth, but be aware that this be of no comfort
and it won't solve your problems. If fact, it may make them worse."

>>>Shinji: That's the normal for me.

>>>Rei looking at her handcuff.

"I understand. But I need to know the truth. For myself."
"Very well. Don't complain if you can't handle it."

>>>Asuka: Shinji can't handle alot of things.

>>>Touji: Somethings he shouldn't have to, demons for one.

Then, with a swift use of her ID card and after entering a long
series of numbers, the door opened.
The next room... was odd. It was pitch black, and seemed circular,
its size defined by two beams of green light that ran around the room,
that would have made a perfect circle if the door had not been in the
way. In the middle of the room stood a large glass tube, filled with
what looked suspiciously like LCL.

>>>Shinji: It looks like what I put my toothbrush in.

>>>Rei: Feels like it as well.

On the top of the glass tube was a
metal tube, that went up and connected to an intricate mass of more
metal tubes and wires. Also, unlike the previous rooms visited, this
room didn't seem dead. The sound of machinery at work was unmistakable.
Ritsuko looked at me.

>>>Touji: She's a babe, but the evil vibe doesn't work for her.

"Shinji, this is what you came to see. Behold, the core of the dummy
plug system."
"This is the core of the dummy plug?" asked Misato, obviously
surprised.
The dummy plug. I suddenly remembered something that Rei had said
about it.
'The data from the system that took over... the dummy plug system...
it... it came from me...'

>>>Touji: Ah, that lovely piece of equipment.

>>>Asuka: It's junk, can't even kill on stooge.

The dummy plug... Rei...
"Rei was involved with this system, wasn't she?"

>>>Hikari: She told you so herself, why ask?

>>>Shinji: Denial is a very powerful thing.

"More then you can imagine. I'll show you the truth; it will speak
for itself."
From her lab coat, the scientist removed something that looked like
a remote, and pushed one button. Suddenly, the space between the two
lights on the circular wall was lit in orange light.

>>>Touji: A huge ass t.v. set kick ass!

>>>Shinji: Like a movie theatre.

I gasped as I realized that the light had this color because that
part of the wall was actually made of glass, and behind that glass was
LCL. But more stunning was the sight of maybe a hundred naked girls. All
the same, exactly the same. A girl I thought I knew well.
Ayanami Rei.

>>>Asuka: What in Kami-sama's name!

>>>Touji passes out from the tank of nudes.

>>>Shinji: Whow.

"R... Rei! Those... those are all Rei! So many of them..."
Then, if I wasn't shocked enough already, all those girls suddenly
opened their eyes and stared at us. They all had that blissful... happy
expression on their faces... it was scary.

>>>Rei: I will understand if you wish me to leave.

>>>Shinji: Why...don't you smile...like that some time?

>>>Rei: You..

"My God!"
"What... what the...!" gasped Misato. "Are you saying that... that
the dummy plug is...?"
"Yes, these are the core of the dummy plug and this place is the
factory where we 'manufacture' them."
"What... what are those...? Are they... Rei?" asked Misato.
"There are only dummies. And nothing but spare parts for Rei."
"What... what is Rei?"

>>>Shinji: A human.

>>>Rei: Incorrect, a clone.

>>>Shinji: Of a human.

>>>Rei: More than that.

>>>Asuka: Get over it, yeah...its kinda freaky but..in a way cool too.

>>>Hikari: We still like you Ayanami, this doesn't change things.

>>>Rei smiles widely: Arigato.

It was a question I was starting to wonder about myself.
"The thing you know as Ayanami Rei is only a clone. A creation of
man like EVA, from a god we found and wanted to revive in our image, to
serve us. That is EVA. Rei, on her part, is a man made human-angel
hybrid. You may have recognized some of her features... those of Ikari
Yui."

>>>Rei: Only the facial features.

>>>Asuka: So your family?

>>>Rei: No, we all share the same percentage of genetic information.

>>>Shinji: Always knew you were an angel 'smiles,' both of you.

>>>Asuka: Both?

>>>Shinji: Don't be dense doesn't suit you.

>>>Asuka and Rei blush, dispite the odd scene.

Misato gasped. I barely blinked. Somehow... I wasn't that much
surprised. Deep inside, I had always known, instinctively or
unconsciously perhaps. I just never really tried to face the truth. But
there were so many things. Her face... her smile... similar, yet very
different. It was a feeling hard to explain.

>>>Shinji: So I won't try to explain?

>>>Hikari: Where's the fun in that?

Some may have found that revelation disturbing. I mean, I had fallen
in love with a girl partly issued of the genes of my mother. We had
shared a relation that real siblings didn't share. But whatever Rei's
origins... I realized I didn't care.

>>>Rei: I...was worried you would...reject me..upon learning..

>>>Shinji: That part if the movie is true, I don't care about either of
>>> your pasts.

>>>Hikari: This is so sweet...I'm just glad Touji's knocked out so he won't ruin it.

>>>(yeah I'm really sappy right now but...hey my story, mst that is, I can have him
>>> like both girls dispite the sad states of their pasts so HA HA HA :) )

The only truth that mattered to me was that... Rei was Rei. The rest was... unimportant.
"You mean... Rei is... Shinji's mom?!"
"No." I said flatly. "Mother is in Unit-01."
Misato gasped again. Ritsuko barely reacted. She only gave me a
slightly curious glance.
"Did you find out while trapped inside Unit-01?"
I nodded.

>>>Shinji: Well she all but talks to me while I'm synced.

>>>Hikari: What's it like?

>>>Shinji blushing: She tells me to be nice to my..girlfriends.

Misato looked confused. Ritsuko noticed and explained.
"Ikari Yui was lost in the first activation test of Unit-01. Since
then, we have theorized that her soul was trapped inside of it. Shinji
just confirmed it now."
"So... that... that would explain all the times it went berserk..."

>>>Hikari: Motherly love.

>>>Asuka: Mother?

>>>Shinji: Never get between a pissed mother and her sons attacker, more so
>>> if said mother is in the form of a giant bio-mecha.

Ritsuko nodded.
"And Rei?"
"Like I said, these are all clones. Spare parts for Rei's soul and
for the dummy plug system. A human creation, like EVA. These are just...
puppets."
"How could you play God like that?"

>>>Rei: It was a birthday present.

>>>Shinji: The Kami-Sama recreation kit.

>>>Touji waking: To...many...chicks.

The Doctor gave a strange smile.
"Ask Ikari."
"She is human." I finally stated. "Or at least was. More than any of
us..."
"Maybe..." admitted Ritsuko. "What makes a human really?

>>>Touji: Blood and guts?

>>>Hikari: Are feelings?

>>>Touji: Labido!

>>>Shinji: Spirit.

Just look at yourself. You look human. You have human feelings.
Yet, in some ways, you're like her."
"Like her?" asked Misato. "What do you mean?"
"Well... this is top secret, but in truth, Shinji is just a clone of
his former self.

>>>Shinji: Now that's a shocker.

You saw it like I did. The LCL that contained his body
while he was trapped into EVA was dumped before we could get him back.
Through unknown means, Shinji's body has been recreated by Unit-01, then
ejected from it's core. While this body is, as far as we could see,
identical to the original and holds your soul, you are now a child of
Unit-01 and only a copy of your former self."

>>>Touji: So you don't have a father?

>>>Shinji: If that happend, this would be the happiest day of my life.

While Misato gasped, I just listened. Somehow, I knew that Ritsuko
was speaking the truth. And I think I had reached a point where I simply
didn't care about anything anymore. Too many truths to try to accept.
So, I wasn't completely myself? Big deal...
Besides, if Rei accepted who she was...

>>>Asuka: This is so freakish.

>>>Rei: I'm not alone, this is a good day.

But did she ever truly accept it? She never told me about any of
this...
I couldn't really blame her. Would I have believed any of this?

>>>Touji: If you did, I have some condo's in America to sell you.

"Why...? Why doesn't she remember me?" I asked, this being really
the only question I wanted answered.
"If she had kept her memories of you, she couldn't have been used
for whatever plan Ikari has for her. So the Commander asked me to take
care of this little detail. I'm sorry Shinji."

>>>Rei's eye twitches: Little detail?

>>>Asuka: So whats the bastard want for ya anyway, can we kill him for it?

>>>Shinji: Does it matter, I want to squash him as it is.

That, however, caused some reaction from me, my anger suddenly
rising.
"Sorry?! You think that's enough?! She died, and then you brought
her back to life to kill her again! You erased her memories! And you're
only sorry?!"
"You're right, all this is wrong. That puppet shouldn't have been
allowed to come back in the first place. It would have been better for
everyone. So I'll make sure it doesn't happen again."

>>>Touji: Did that make any sense?

>>>Hikari: Techically, ethically, or philisophically?

>>>Shinji: All three.

>>>Asuka: Ask Kami-Sama.

Ritsuko pushed another button on the remote she held. There was a
little beep, then suddenly I heard high pitched noises from all around
the room. The clones... they seemed to be in pain. Then, they seemed to
melt in a very bloody scene.

>>>All: EW!!

The orange LCL became redder. I almost got
sick looking at that, but I couldn't look away, I was frozen by the
horror that was taking place right in front of me. Those things,
whatever they were... were all dying.

>>>Shinji: Girls...bathroom...now!

>>>Asuka/Rei: Agreed!

>>>They rush off to...um...it get kinda messy.

"What are you doing?"

>>>Touji: Making one sick audience.

demanded Misato, despite the very obvious
answer. She pulled her gun and pointed it at her friend.
"I'm destroying them! I'm getting rid of those human shaped
things... putting an end to the pain. I lost against that thing. No... I
could never win. She never left his mind..."

>>>Hikari: Somebody needs to take some valume.

>>>Touji: Think they're alright in there?

>>>Hikari: No, I'd join them if I didn't already see this.

What she talking about... my father? Was it why she had... done
this?
The Doctor fell on her knees, in tears. I looked at her, not
believing what I was seeing. Ritsuko... crying... and... because of my
father? Did she... could she... have feelings... for him?

>>>Touji: Now that's a stupid woman.

>>>Hikari: Very.

"I'm stupid, as stupid as my mother was. So foolish... You can kill
me, if you want. I'd welcome death."
The Major lowered her weapon. She looked sorry for Ritsuko.
"You are truly stupid if you wish that."

>>>Touji What death or Shinji's father?

>>>Hikari: Both.

>>>The trio returns looking...well they got most of it cleaned up.
* * *

While Misato had been expecting a group of armed men, only Commander
Ikari and Sub-commander Fuyutsuki came. As he looked at me for some long
seconds, I barely resisted the urge to jump at the Commander.

>>>Shinji: Which would have gotten me shot.

>>>Rei: After the intial electrocution.

This would
have been a very convenient way to let some anger out, but it might have
put us in more trouble than we already were. Well, rather, in more
trouble than Misato was already in. As I was for now the most reliable
EVA pilot available, as well as the only one who could pilot Unit-01, it
was unlikely that they would do anything to me... for the time being
anyway.

>>>Rei: Another clone of you could be made.

>>>Asuka: Or brainwashed.

>>>Touji: Blackmail?

>>>Hikari: Threaten?

>>>Shinji: Why not write these down and send them to him!

At least, I got some satisfaction from the look on the Commanders
face. As he looked at the LCL tanks that now held the molten remains of
what had previously been Rei clones, shock clearly showed on his face.

>>>Shinji: Finally an expression besides that damned smirk!

This was however replaced quickly by anger. A red burning anger. As he
turned his gaze toward Ritsuko, she seemed to shrink unto herself. He
reverted however to the cold Ikari Gendo known by everyone as he looked
at me. Maybe it was because I was glaring at him the same way he had
just glared at Ritsuko. If this caused any emotion within him, he hid it
well. Finally, he looked at Misato.

>>>Touji: And ordered her to become his slave for punishement!

>>>Hikari: That's sick!

>>>Touji: Right, better my slave.

>>>Asuka/Shinji: That's worse.

"Major. Escort Dr. Akagi to Security. She will be detained there
until further notice."

>>>Shinji: Or until she's killed, whatever comes first.

"Yes sir."
While Misato was obviously making efforts of her own to stay calm,
there was still some venom in her voice.
It was then Fuyutsuki's turn to look at the Major and me.
"Forget whatever you think you saw tonight... or you may join Dr.
Akagi."

>>>Asuka: Sure, not like a big vat of melting clones is hard to forget.

>>>Rei: My sisters...that cannot be allowed to happen to them, they are all alive.

>>>Shinji: They don't...seem to mind being naked in a tube.

>>>Rei: Sedatives, and..'blushes' my memories.

>>>Touji: Of what?

>>>Rei gets redder.

>>>Shinji: How about not answering?

While the old man had said this threat very seriously, he obviously
didn't seem very happy about this whole situation. Actually, he gave me
the impression of someone who was very tired, probably tired about all
the lies and all the pain caused by EVA.

>>>Rei: No, he is tried of finding new places to hide the bodies.

>>>Asuka: Makes sense.

I stayed silent as Misato acknowledged this new order. But I knew
very well that she wouldn't follow it.

* * *

When I finally reached home, I felt totally drained. My mind was
feeling numb from all those sudden revelations. Mother had died in a
synch accident and now existed within EVA.

>>>Shinji: But she's not dead.

>>>Rei: Her body is.

>>>Shinji: But not 'her.'

Rei was partially a clone of
my mother, she was the dummy plug and she was simply replaced by another
Ayanami when she died. Her memory had been erased and now Ritsuko had
destroyed all other Ayanami clones.
Oh, and I was a clone too...

>>>Shinji: One hell of a long day.

>>>Asuka: Don't forget you ditched me.

>>>Shinji: Great, even more fuel to add to the suck fire.

I really felt tired.
The recent events had been so tiring that the death of Rei suddenly
seemed like something that had happened long ago. That reality would
probably hit me soon enough...
Everything was black in the apartment. Since it was late, I guessed
Asuka was asleep. Fine with me, I only wanted one thing, go to bed, fall
asleep and stop thinking for a few hours.

>>>Asuka: Nice to know you care about me too baka.

>>>Hikari: It's been a long day for him, chill out.

As I turned on the light in my room after closing the door, I froze.
On my bed, I noticed an envelop as well as Asuka's interface headsets.

>>>Shinji: Oh hell no!

>>>Touji: What, she finally took those dumb things off.

>>>Asuka: What did I do?

>>>Rei/Hikari: Something foolish no doubt.

Fear almost overcame me. Yet, with unsteady hands, I managed to open the
envelop. Unlike Rei's, Asuka's handwriting was sloppy and almost devoid
of kanji. But I really didn't care.

>>>Shinji: I know you can't right them well.

>>>Asuka: Dumb chicken scratches.

>>>Touji: He he, to hard for the glorious 2nd child?

>>>Hikari: You don't know any Kanji either Touji.

Shinji,

I lost to a girl I both hate and love, my friend and my rival.
No... I didn't lose.

>>>Asuka: I never lose!

I understand now that I never had any chance to begin with.

>>>Rei: I am that far ahead of you?

>>>Touji: And you don't remember him.

>>>Shinji: Back to normal...I'm all alone.

That look on your face when Misato told you that Rei was
alive... I know you'll never have that same look for me.

>>>Shinji: I'm sorry I'm happy one of my best friends didn't die.

>>>Asuka: You should be.

I'm leaving. I've lost any reason to stay here. I can't pilot
EVA. I can't hope for you to ever love me as I love you. Don't worry.
I'll never bother you again. Ever.

>>>Touji: She'll be back in about twenty minutes telling him it was a lie.

>>>Hikari: Or after she talks to Rei again.

I apologize for the way I treated you. I shouldn't have. But I
was scared. Scared of my feelings for you. I know now that I had a good
reason to be. But it's too late. Too late for everything.

>>>Asuka: It's because I was rude and crual before?

>>>Shinji: It was hard to grow to like you.

>>>Asuka: Was hard?

>>>Shinji blushes: Oops.

>>>Touji: And the first slip up, Shin-man confesses!

I'm not sure I care anymore. I don't care about anything
anymore.

Tell Rei I'll miss her. But I couldn't stand to see her either.

Goodbye Shinji.


Asuka

>>>Shinji: Ok, it's time for me to dive off the balcony now isn't it?

>>>Rei: Or begin crying again.

>>>Touji: I vote for number 2.

That was more than I could take. Pain and sorrow... it all came back
full strength, as I felt my heart ripped apart for a second time in a
matter of a few days. I collapsed in tears. Once more... everyone in my
life had left me behind...

>>>Touji: YES! I got it right.

>>>Shinji: Thanks for the compassion, I loss the two girls I care f..shit!

>>>Rei: Two?

>>>Touji: Wish Kensuke was here to see this, slip up number 2!

They were gone...
They had left me...
All those I loved... left me...
Alone...

>>>Asuka: All because you didn't stay laying down with me.

>>>Hikari: You ran away, taking something from the book of Shinji again.
- - -

From a nearby hill, the girl looked at what was left of Tokyo-3.

>>>Touji: A big hole.

>>>Shinji: With a new lake.

A
few rare buildings, but mostly a giant lake. Again, the Lilims had
successfully defended themselves, but at such a cost. The blue
Evangelion was no more. Now, only the boy was left.

>>>Asuka: Gray girl seems to like that idea.

>>>Hikari: Wait...with you two gone.

>>>Shinji: I doubt anything will happen.

>>>Touji: Mega-Playboy scores a third girl!

She would be with
him soon. The men of SEELE had seen to that. Such arrogant fools... they
didn't understand anything.

>>>Rei: That is why it is humorous to watch them.

Zeruel had cost the Lilims their body, their least important
possession.

>>>Touji: I like my body.

>>>Hikari: If the body is so unimportant, why do the angels have bodies?

>>>Shinji: To help them waste time?

A trivial thing, it had been easily lost and easily
recovered. More serious had been Arael, which had taken from them their
spirit, till only shattered pieces remained. To triumph over Armisael
demanded the that Lilims surrender their life.

>>>Touji: Hence dem..Asuka's breakdown.

>>>Asuka: Take that! I didn't surrender, I won!

>>>Hikari: Payed one hell of a price though.

Yet all was still not yet decided. She knew the final test was
approaching, and what was required of her.

>>>Shinji: To not cause massive pain and destruction?

>>>Asuka: That's a pipe dream.

Thus far the Lilims had been
undefeated and undaunted. But salvation for them would require that this
time, they finally hold nothing back. She wondered if they would be
willing to make the sacrifice required..
Their soul.

>>>Shinji: Well as mine seems to be tattered to shreads why the hell not?

>>>Touji: Not enough to sacrifice.

Slowly within her, she could feel the urge, which had gotten
stronger and stronger within the last days. The time had almost come.
"Just a few more days. A few more days. I want to know this boy...
Ikari Shinji..."

>>>Asuka/Rei: The urge?

>>>Hikari: Oh boy, she knows what she's after.

>>>Shinji:Why does everybody seem to want me naked at some point lately?

>>>Touji: Don't look at me, I'd rather kill you than see ya naked.


[To be continued...]

>>>Asuka: Yippie, more death and miseary. Thanks a load Hikari.

Next time:
Chapter 11 - What is Love?
The Fifth Child appears
The 17th Angel attacks
A new friend, a new enemy, a choice between life and death

>>>Hikari: I wonder what are depressed hero will chose.

>>>Rei: If death, I shall follow and punish him.

Omake:

- Scene 1 -

"You mean... you and Hotaru..." I asked, not sure if I wanted to
know the answer.

>>>Shinji: This scene again!

>>>Touji: Whats to say, some guys like lesbians fantasies.

Okay, I did want to know. But that look on her face...
"Do not worry, Shin-chan. The only person we think of is you."

>>>Touji: What?

>>>Hikari: Asuka?

>>>Shinji: WHAT THE HELL!

I'm not sure if I should have felt relieved or what, but I-
Wait.
We?
"We?" I asked.
She blushed heavily at the question, but answered nonetheless.
"Well... there's me, Asuka, Hotaru, Hikari..."

>>>Touji: HIKARI!!

>>>Hikari blushes: 'How they know?' It...it's a lie!

And the list kept going. It seemed all the females in my class and
half the commanding NERV staff got together on Fridays for 'Third
Children Appreciation Day.'
Who knew?

>>>Girls: We do.

>>>Shinji: What?

>>>Touji: Thats a lie right?

>>>Girls:......'Had to miss this Friday's.'

- Scene 2 -

"Was it... your first time with another girl?" I asked. What a
foolish question. Of course Rei would never-

>>>Shinji: What is this?

>>>Rei: More homosexual inuendo.

"No." Came the monotone reply.
What!? She... and another woman... before Hotaru?
"Was it Asuka?"
"No."

>>>Asuka: Thank Kami-sama!

"Misato?"
"No."

>>>Touji: Damn, would have rented that tape.

"H-Hikari?"
"Afraid not, Shin-chan."

>>>Shinji/Hikari: Thats good to hear.

"Oh my."
A half-hour later, I finally guessed who it was.
"Ah... Maya was so romantic that night..." Rei said dreamily.

>>>Rei: Akagi would be most jealous and upset...'thinks for a minute'
>>> but still not worth it.

Author's notes:

I know, this part is more or less an adaptation of Episode 23. I
apologize for that, but there wasn't much ways to change it, especially
the visit in Dogma. Of course, I made changes and additions, but it's
still more or less the same. I'm not sure the failed Unit-01 test
happened there, but I decided to take some liberties on that.

Some may note that Ritsuko showed the Artificial Evolution Room, the
EVAs remains, and then the dummy plug in the anime. I changed the order
because it seemed to make more sense to have the Artificial Evolution
Room followed by the dummy plug room.

Why make Shinji a 'clone' you may ask. Well, first, it follows more what
we've seen happening. It was clear enough. The retrieval failed, LCL was
dumped, and Shinji only appeared after Misato hugged his empty plugsuit
and his mother sent him back. You can clearly hear a slurping sound and
then a naked Shinji with behind him, light from Unit-01's core. While
all this doesn't necessarily mean that Shinji was cloned, I thought it
was not only a reasonable hypothesis and good idea, it's also original.
In addition to that, I thought such a fact would help Shinji accept
Rei's origins, as they would be in some way similar. He couldn't really
blame her for being what he is partly himself.

About Kaoru? I'll admit, it didn't go as planned. I wanted to have more
appearances and more interactions with her before she would appear in
Chapter 11, but circumstances didn't really permit it. Stories have a
life of their own; sometimes, they can grow differently then what you
had planned.

Finally, Rei and Hotaru. Just to be sure some of you are not confused by
the omake, nothing happened between the two girls. Both of them stayed
on their side of the bed while... indulging themselves into some solo
pleasure. Why put *that* some may ask. Well, it's all because of a dare.
Kawaii Ka-Wing-chan (author of a few EVA fics like "Asuka, Ex-Poser",
"Lights out", etc.) dared me to use in TOILI

>>>Rei: I see...that director will need to be punished.

>>>Asuka: You even know what they were suggesting?

>>>Rei:......No.

>>>Asuka/H ikari: You don't know!!!

(I think the idea initially
pop up as a joke of some sort, I don't remember quite how it started) a
scene where Rei and Hotaru actually had sex (still in the context of Rei
teaching Hotaru about sex). I initially used a scene like that, but some
of my pre-readers thought it was a bit too much. So I tone it down.
However... I will be putting it into the TOILI outtakes (KW, the dare
was to use it... you didn't say where ^_^ ).


---

Translation notes:

Ohayo : Good morning (I think)



Alain Gravel
rakna@globetrotter.qc.ca
October 31st 1999

Started on February 20th 1999
First pre-reader draft finished on October 31st 1999
Second pre-reader draft finished on November 5th 1999
Final draft finished on January 19th 2000
Final revisions on March 15th 2000
>>>Mst March 26th 2002

(end MST)

Shinji: More and more depressing as each chapter passes.

Touji: Hikari-chan, what were you thinking?

Hikari: I was thinking about them...look at them now.

Shinji/Asuka/Rei: What?

Touji: I don't get it?

Rei: I doubt you intentions were as you state, but it is still pleasurable.

Asuka: Dumb baka needed to get his head out of his ass and say something.

Shinji: What about you two!

Asuka: Shut up baka 'smiles' its time to turn in.

Hikari: But Kensuke didn't arrive with the key yet.

Touji: It's 1 a.m. he isn't coming tonight.

Shinji: Then..that means.

Rei: I sleep on my back.

Asuka: Stomach!

Rei: Back.

Asuka: Stomach!!

Hikari: I'll sleep in your room Asuka, Touji the couch...good luck you three.

Shinji: I'll get Kensuke for this.

Asuka: Just a warning, if you get grabby during the night, you'll lose the limb.

Rei: This handcuff is beging to chaff my wrist.

Shinji: Hurry Kensuke hurry!

----------------------------------------------------------- --------

MST author notes

ok, the beginning and end were fairly silly, but it was a
joke from a pre-reader of mine to have those three sleep together

HA HA got ya RL! they're sleeping together but not in 'that' way aha haha

ahem..sorry about that.

hope you liked this chapter's mst, alot of angst so not alot
of really mst'able jems but i still hope you found the ones i did
funny

I will be reaching the end of TOILI soon...again been a long ride
but an enjoyable one, more stories out their to mst, and
more silly comments and situations.

I just hope I can fit more time in to mst, having a hard time
finding the time lately, but I will keep trying

remember i am right now taking requests for LARGE stories but
they will be put on a poll on the darkscribes forum for voting
on whats next

current candidates are

child of love
children of an elder god
Savage overature
Rei's child
Together we stand
and just added Cross

well to those who read my work ARIGATO GOZAIMASU!!

zentrodie(zentrodie@secondimpact.com) visit my web-page too :)