Original Stories Fan Fiction ❯ Monologue of a Hypocrite ❯ Monologue of a Hypocrite ( One-Shot )

Disclaimer: All mine. Yup, all mine.

 

Monologue of a Hypocrite

 

The other day, Janet Riley spots me after I'm done shopping, and tells me I must come over for coffee. Janet Riley hates my guts but that's not the reason I will not do it. She continues right on and tells me her brother came to town earlier this week and, since I'm her best friend, I must come to meet him. More than likely, she told him that I would be interested. Thanks to that, I probably won't be able to keep the beast away from me. I'm sure he is some horribly loathsome and uncultured creature to still be single at his age. I was nauseous. I tell you I will not enter that house. I wouldn't do it even if I wanted, with its white picket fence and perfectly manicured garden. Sometimes, I would just love to go and stomp those ugly little flowers of hers right into the lawn. I would to if it weren't for her newest weapon against me.

 

She got Killer last week. Really inventive name for a Doberman isn't it? And that dog is just like her; dumb as a brick with no imagination to boot. She has taught it to completely dislike me, and that's the truth. Why the other day, I was just walking along, minding my own business, when that monster practically jumps the fence to attack me. If I hadn't gotten on the other side of the road as quick as I did, it would have ate me. She lets it out to prowl around her yard every night like she thinks that I'm going to do something to her precious flower beds. As if I'd want to. So you see, there is not reason for her to she let that filthy, mangy, mutt out. All it does is defecate on her lawn and she's out there every morning cleaning it up. Well, maybe I shouldn't complain too much. It would do her good to do some work now and again. I'm not afraid of that dog anyhow; it's just bigger than me.

 

Anyway, Killer is not the only way I know the snob hates me. Every time she sees me she must say both my first and middle name. “Good day, Eugenia-Delilah.” The only reason she says it is because she knows what it is and wants to remind me of that fact. It wouldn't be so bad if the way she said it wasn't so uppity. She throws her nose up in the air, flashes he biggest smile, and lays on all her drawl. Just by hearing that, you'd swear that I was lower class. I most certainly am not. My family has been respected in this town for years. Whereas, she just moved here from out of state. Besides, I live right next door to her which places us as equals. When she first moved here I was sweet as molasses to her, took her under my wing showed her around, introduced her. She was lucky she had me. The poor dear couldn't have done it on her own.

 

I first knew that she was out to ruin my life that time I saw Robert Taylor while we were walking out of the hat shop. There was a perfectly good excuse for what I did afterward, however. She was making me look a fool in front of Robert.

 

I was dressed in one of my nicer day dresses because we were going shopping and all. Not to mention that I was hoping to see Robert. He is, after all, one of the most eligible bachelors in the county. Couldn't believe it when Janet showed up at my door wearing what must have been her Sunday best. The woman loves to show off. That dress she wore shopping was a perfect example. It was so ostentatious; this beautiful rose petal wine color, which must have cost a fortune. It was much too nice to be wearing out. I was completely shocked; her over dressing like that. I tried to get her to change. She should have worn one of the hand me downs I gave her. It would have been much more appropriate. I guess she needs to dress up though, to look nice and pretty when she goes out. God didn't grace her as he did me.

 

When we ran across Robert in the street, it was sunny outside and you could smell the lilacs in the air, it was such a romantic setting. At least it would have been if Janet wouldn't have been there. He tipped his hat when he saw us. It was such a nice hat; looked new; wouldn't surprise me if it was. He is rather rich after all. I says, “Good day Robert,” and he says “Good day Eugenia.” Just to be polite I made conversation. “The weather is absolutely divine today isn't it Robert,” I says. After that Janet starts asking about his mother who had been sick. I would have gotten around to it. She didn't need to steel the conversation; making it look like I didn't care. All she really wants is for him to come courting her anyhow. She really is desperate for a husband. She has lots of gentleman calling on her but they always leave after only a few days. When I, however, get a man, I keep him. Her plan to make a fool of me didn't work anyway. Robert later asked me to tea. I thanked him kindly but I told him that I must decline. I had other social obligations that couldn't be missed. He gave me the strangest look. Clearly he was heartbroken. Janet, however, thanked him kindly and invited herself. Surely she didn't think that he was talking to her! As we were walking away, I casually stuck my foot out and tripped her. She fell flat on her face, packages went everywhere. It was absolutely divine. The best part was that she never knew I did it. The poor dear is probably heartbroken because he never came to call.

 

And now she is trying to introduce me to men like I need help. I don't know what I ever could have done to her that she hates me so. My guess is that she's just envious of me. It does seem to make sense after all, I'm prettier, smarter, and a lot more respected in the town. Everything she has is second class. For example, that dog of hers. That thing must be about the stupidest animal in the world. The poor beast couldn't be trained to chase a cat. Unlike Killer, my lovely little Siamese cat Mirabel is one of the most intelligent creatures on Earth. Why just the other day I figured out that she learned to break into the cabinets where I keep her food. Mirabel is probably even smarter that Janet herself.

 

Here comes Janet right now walking with that mutt of hers and wearing the same dress. I can't believe it. What I really want to know though is who that fine figure of a man with her is. He is much too handsome to be her beau. I think I'll have to go and introduce myself.

 

“Why Eugenia-Delilah I haven't seen you in ages. It's almost like you've been avoiding me.” Of course I've been avoiding her. I always avoid people who hate me. “Then again it's no matter. I'm sure we've both been busy. Lord knows I have. Anyway, I'm so glad I saw you. I'd like you to meet my brother Darrell.”

 

Her brother? Oh my word, he's saying hello. Did he just say my name? Say it again. It sounds so sweet coming from your mouth. “Oh Darrell, Killer is your dog? He has such an appropriate name. He is such a beautiful creature. I understand that Dobermans are great guard dogs. And I bet yours is the smartest dog in the state. Janet, I do hope that coffee invitation is still open.”

 

“Why of course it is. But it will have to be later today. Darrell and I were just going to see Robert Taylor. We've been getting tight since we saw each other that day, when you and I were last out shopping.”