Original Stories Fan Fiction ❯ School of Love ❯ Chapter Twent Four ( Chapter 24 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

"Leia, would you like to hold her?" Sally looked at her, noticing how she was staring at her baby.

Leia froze as the room got quiet. She suddenly felt hot like she was under a million lights and for once, she didn't know what to say. And Patrick wasn't here to make the silence go away. "I...well...I don't know how to..." she said honestly. "I don't think I'm good with kids and I'm sure I'd probably break her or hurt her..."

Sally laughed. Walking over to her, she sat beside her. "Here. Move your arms like this," she said. She gently placed her daughter into Leia's arms. "See? It's easy. Just be gentle."

Leia looked down at the baby. She yawned so lightly and her little face wrinkled and turned so innocently. Leia was amazed. Maybe it was the hormonal boost her doctor warned her about after the miscarriage that she would have for a few weeks or maybe it was the emotions finally breaking their shield, but as she stared at the innocent baby, all she could think about was how much she hated herself for killing her own child. She was suppose to protect it, to care for it, to love it. And yet, in one evening with her father, everything fucked up and she became a murderer over night. Her body began to shake and she couldn't hold back anymore. Tears broke through and she hugged the baby to her while she cried. "Oh God...I'm so sorry..."

At that point everyone just sort of stared at her. "Uh...Patty. Perhaps you should come in here," Michael called out.

Patrick poked his head out to see her crying and holding the child. "Shit," he whispered. Going over to her, he wrapped an arm around her. "Can ye excuse us? We'll bring yer daughter back in a sec." Pulling her to him, he led her and the baby into the kitchen away from prying ears.

Leia hugged the baby tightly as if guarding it. "I killed it..." she whispered. Never before had she cried in public like this and never before had she felt such an over whelming complex mixture of emotions. She rubbed the baby's back and closed her eyes as the tears poured from her face like rivers. She was shaking so hard.

"You didn't kill it," he whispered, holding her gently as not to squish to sleeping baby. "No one is to blame but your father." Leaning forward, he kissed her forehead, trying to calm her the best that he could.

Leia pulled the baby from her and handed the little thing to Patrick. Going to the sink, she started washing her face, demanding herself to get it together and get over it. She was Leia Johnson, she didn't cry and she didn't let things like this get to her. She was a rock, stable and hard. She ran the cold water over her face a million time it seemed, letting her hands brush her bruised face and stitched lips for added pain to help take her mind off the over whelming heart break.

Patrick hesitated as the tiny bundle was suddenly thrust upon him. Looking down at her, his face softened as he smiled down at her. "She is a beautiful little thing," he whispered. Going over to her, he nuzzled Leia's neck, kissing her. "One day you will make a wonderful mother."

"Please, don't say things like that," she said softly. "I really don't want to think about it and I don't want to hear it either. I should have never held the thing and I shouldn't have cried. You're family probably thinks I'm a spaz." She dried her face with a hand towel and started taking calming deep breaths. At least they didn't come in after her and demand why she was freaking out.

"Yes, they probably do," he admitted. "However, in case you haven't noticed that just means that you fit in with the rest of my family." The baby cooed in his arms, opening up her eyes she stared up at him lazily, her eyes blinking slowly before she rolled over and fell back to sleep.

Leia kept her back to Patrick. "She should go back to her mother."

He nodded. "I'll be right back," he promised. Going to the living room, he stopped and looked back at her. "Please don't leave..."

She placed her hands on the counter. She so wanted to leave. "Alright. I'll be here."

Taking her back to her mother, he met their accusing eyes. "Not a word," he hissed coldly.

"Don't worry man," Michael said softly. "Not a word."

He nodded and went back to the kitchen.

Leia was fidgeting with her shirt. She didn't fidget. Then again, she wasn't herself when Patrick was around. She turned to him. "How much damage have I done?" she said as her eyes drifted to the living room.

He took a deep breath, running his hands through his hair. "Nothing that can't be fixed," he assured her. "If you...want to fix it that is." He still wasn't certain how she was enjoying his family. Then again, 'enjoying' might not be the appropriate term for it.

"I'm not going to run," she promised.

"What I'm saying is, you don't have to impress my family." He moved and leaned against the sink.

"I don't care about impressing them. I'm sure they think I'm a self centered, young, rich, spaz. And it wouldn't be so bad if it were true...but not all of it is."

"Don't worry, most of them are so wasted that they won't even remember seeing you here." Reaching up, he cupped her face in his hands. "How are you feeling? Be honest?"

She pulled from him. "I don't think we should talk about this now...or ever for that matter."

"Why?" She was always running. Always hiding.

"You're just my boyfriend, Mr. McClain and we are just...having fun. There isn't any need to get emotional about things or to drag each other into the personal side."

"Have you ever had a boyfriend, Leia?"

"You know I haven't," she said as she crossed her arms. "The closest thing I had to one was when I was with Gabe and he was trying to figure out if he was gay or not."

"I was just asking. The reason being, is that generally when two people are in a...relationship. It is generally during that time when two people start to share and become more intimate."

"You said so yourself that we couldn't get anymore intimate since we are screwing," she said. "What do you want? You want me to cry or yell or tell you all the thing inside of me? I don't even tell Gabe stuff like that or cry in front of him. I'm not mushy and I'm not like those girls in your class that have all these bubbly thoughts." She sighed. "I don't ask anything from you. And when you told me you wanted to be exclusive, I said ok. I mean...what is this, Mr. McClain? What are we doing? Why are we together? Are you one day planning on falling in love with me? Are you hoping I'll fall in love with you? Because unless this has so kind of goal...then even though you call this a relationship...really...it's just two people screwing."

Why must she be one of those girls that thinks and acts so analytical? He was far too inebriated to be dealing with this right now, and yet here he was, straight faced and listening to her say this. "You make some excellent points." He was trying to choose his words carefully. "Seeing as how neither of us desire the other's love.... This relationship of sorts, is truly nothing more than two people having sex." There was a pause as he shrugged. "How sad."

She sighed and pulled out her phone. "Which is a waste in both our time. It was fun, but now it's over," she said as she dialed a limo. "I don't think I have to explain why I think it's best we break things off. After all, you're twenty three and should be dating and looking for someone to share your life with and I'm sixteen, I should be spending my time at parties and having random romances." She said a few things to the person on the other line and hung up the phone. "I'll never forget this or forget you." Moving to him, she kissed his cheek. "I think if we would have stayed together any longer I'm sure I would have fallen for you. And we both know how much of a mistake that would be when love isn't returned." She smiled. "Goodbye Mr. McClain."

Once more she took the back way out and walked to the front just as the limo was pulling up. Slowly she got in and closed the door. As the limo drove off, she felt the last bit of her heart break.

"So, your really going to let her go off, aye?"

Patrick didn't look at Michael who was standing in the door holding his drink. "Yes, I am," he sighed. Taking off his glasses, he started to wipe them off on his shirt. "She's just a child and I don't feel like going to jail."

"You're a coward."

"What?"

"I remember the old Patrick. The one who gave up a chance at greatness just to be with a girl. You gave your all to her, and she took it. Now you're nothing but a pathetic shell of the man you were."

"Come on, Michael. I'm not in the mood for this," he muttered, pushing himself off of the counter he went to grab a drink, but Michael stopped him.

"You care for her, do you not?"

"She's a child."

"She's old enough to know what she wants. She's old enough to know what she cares about. You weren't looking at her. When you said she was your girlfriend, you should have seen the way she was practically beaming."

Patrick hesitated as he looked up at Michael. "If ye really care about her, don't be such a wimp. Man up. Prove to me that you're my kin after all; and quit using her age as a means of justifying the fact that you don't want to get involved again. Yer leaning on that like a crutch, a way to keep her close but not too close. So, either be with her fully or not at all."

Leia walked in her apartment and looked at the boys who turned off the TV and stood. "We broke up. It's over," she said as she took off her shoes and light coat.

"I'll...make some cookies..."

Gabe walked over to her. "Are you...ok?"

She shrugged. "Ask me in a week. Took me that long to break down about the baby."

"I'm beginning to think my family is cursed," he muttered to none in particular as he drove home. It was late and he was more than slightly under the influence. Try as he might, Michael's words kept coming back to him. Frankly, it kept bugging the hell out of him. Why would he say that? It's not like he really knew what was going on in his life. The best he could manage was a mild guess. He had no idea.... None what so ever.

Tomorrow was Sunday. No school. No work. No Leia. "I really need a cell phone."

Leia sat on the counter of the drug store while Nathan finished up cleaning. He was closing. "I'm still shocked you're here," he smirked. "I could have sworn you said you were dating someone."

"I told you we broke up," she said, now getting annoyed. "Are you going to take your time or hurry up so we can crawl in your back seat?"

He smiled and nodded. "I'm going as fast as I can."

The light caught his attention. He was going to have a headache in the morning, he could already feel it. He was just getting over his cold and now this. He might as well go ahead and restock up on medicine seeing as how he downed all of his other stuff so that he could get better. Pulling into the nearly deserted parking lot, he pushed open the door and went straight to the medication aisle.

Leia watched as Patrick walked in."Mr. McClain...we are closing in five minutes," Nathan said.

Leia crossed her legs on the counter as Nathan moved around it so he could ring Patrick up.

"Don't worry I'll be just a minute," he assured him. He grabbed some hangover medicine as well as some gum for his breath. That last thing he needed was a cop pulling him over tonight. As he neared the front, he looked up at Leia sitting there. "I'll just take these," he said as he handed the items to Nathan.

"Ye shouldn't do what you're about to do," he said with soft eyes. "And you know why." She wasn't suppose to have sex for at least two weeks until she was better.

"Don't tell me what to do..." she whispered. "And why do you care?"

"Because I don't want you hurt and I really don't want him screwing you," he whispered right back while Nathan busied himself scanning the items.

"Why? We aren't together anymore."

"Doesn't matter to me. The idea of another guy touches you still makes my blood boil."

She hoped off the counter. "Why?" Her eyes narrowed. "We were just having sex. You said so yourself. And now I'm just going to have sex with Nathan."

Patrick stopped as Nathan looked up from ringing stuff up. "Uh...would you like to discuss this outside, Leia?"

Nathan looked at Leia. "I'll close up and wait for you in the car." She nodded and followed Patrick out.

"What?"

Patrick grabbed his bag, quickly pushing the gum into his mouth to hide the scent of whiskey and bourbon. "If you're adamant about doing it with him, at least make certain that he's safe and that he's...gentle." God, he couldn't even...he didn't even want to imagine what was going to happen to her.

"You know I like it gentle with you. Nathan likes to be dominating," she said as she leaned against the car she bought him. "I don't understand why it's such a big deal. Like I said, we are just having sex just like you and I were having sex."

"Yeah, well the difference is that he just sees you as a booty call or whatever the hell kids are calling it," he muttered. "I actually have feelings for you."

She pulled his chin over to face her. "I asked you before I left your family’s house all those questions and you answered that we are just fucking with no emotion. Now you are telling me that you care about me? Why do I find that hard to believe?"

"Because I'm a bloody coward," he spat. "Michael was right. He always is..."

She sighed. "It's the alcohol talking. Look, I'll drive you home ok?" She walked over to Nathan as he was coming out of the store. "I have to drive the Irish drunk home."

Nathan smirked. "Will you be back?"

"Maybe. Maybe not," she shrugged. "Doesn't matter. There will be other times."

He nodded and leaned forward, kissing her hungrily. "I'm sure I can fill you spot."

She groaned. "Gross..." Leaving him there, she walked back over to Patrick. "Get in," she said as she text someone to come get her car.

"I'll be fine," he said. "If you want to go and screw Nathan who probably already has another girl lined up...go ahead."

She pushed him in the car and got in the driver's seat. Turning it on, she pulled onto the road. "Smart move getting drunk and driving. How noble."