Ouran High School Host Club Fan Fiction ❯ Brotherly Love ❯ Separated From Myself ( Chapter 1 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Title: Brotherly Love
Rating: M
Pairing: Hikaru/Kaoru
Summary: The secret behind the Brotherly Love is let out. How will the brothers deal with the repercussions?
Beginning Date: April 20th, 2006
Warning: Cursing, violence, rape, yaoi. Most of you should probably just leave now.
Disclaimer: Ouran High School Host Club and all related settings and characters were created by Hatori Bisco. Go read the manga and watch the anime. Seriously. It's so much better than my crap.

I'm not sure what is louder in my ears, the sound of the seemingly endless supply of girls surrounding us, or the sound of my teeth grinding in a vain attempt to contain my anger. What right had they to treat me and my brother like their own private show? As if we exist merely for their entertainment? Our activities within the Host Club were one thing, but lately we can't even go out in public together without being bombarded with questions of what happened of the Brotherly Love behind closed doors, or worse, being asked how difficult it is to hold a pseudo-relationship with your brother while being presumably straight. I'm done. I'm ending this right now.

“Fine!” I slam my fists down on the desk, quickly silencing the group that has gathered. My eyes are shut, but I'm willing to bet the outer circle contained even the second and third years by now. Good. They can all listen now, and I'll only have to say this once. “It's not just an act.” I breathe slowly, and listen for any response before continuing. “We're lovers. Outside of the Host Club” The silence is deafening. I hear some books hit the floor, and I don't need to look up to know the footsteps, which are quickly running from the room, belong to my brother. Hikaru...

“That is quite enough. I'm sure I do not need to remind anyone of the force that is behind the families of the Ouran Host Club. Please move along.” I look up to see Kyouya grinning around the room in that eerie way of his. Anyone who knew the youngest Ootori learned very quickly that such a look meant a sure death to anyone who disobeyed him.

“Come on.” I hear the low voice from behind me as large hands grip my shoulders in what I can only assume is an attempt to console me. Mori.

“But, class-”

“Don't worry, I'll take care of it.” Kyouya smiles at me, a way I don't think I've ever seen him smile before. It can only be described as sad.

Small hands take mine, and I turn to see Huni giving me that same sad smile. It looks much more natural on him, though. “It's okay, Kao-chan.”

I sigh dejectedly and and let myself be led out of the room by the small blond. I just don't have the energy to argue with anyone right now. I should be finding Hikaru. I should be making this better. But... I don't know what I'd even do if I found him. What have I done? Even worse, what am I going to do now?

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How... how could he do this? To me? To us? I'm not even sure where I'm going. I just know I haven't slowed down since I first started running. I have to get away. Far away. I can't be near the Host club, I can't be near Ouran... I can't be near him. How could he betray me like that? He shared our private business with the entire female and part of the male population of the high school building, like it was nothing!

I've only just now realized that it's raining. My uniform is soaked completely, and my pants are covered in the mud I must have ran through. I've only gotten to the back of the school property, but the place will serve it's purpose. This area is barren but for the dumpsters lined along the iron fence.

I slide down one of the cold metal structures. I've probably sat in a puddle, but I can't really force myself to be at all concerned. I'm not even sure how long I've been crying, but my eyes are sore and I feel like I'm going to be ill. I keep getting sudden pains in my chest, maybe my lungs or my heart. I don't even care. I just want everything to stop.

I pull my knees tightly up to my chest to try and alleviate some of the pain. I rest the side of my head against my legs, and close my eyes quickly as I see my reflection on the wet pavement. The face I've looked into all my life. The face of the boy I love, and the face of the boy who betrayed me. It seems that looking alike has screwed us over more than we first thought.

I look up quickly at the sound of footsteps heading towards me in the rain. Three boys approach me, all dressed in Ouran uniforms and looking a little too pleased to have found me for my liking. What the hell do they want?

They grin down at me, and the largest of them grabs me by the front of my jacket to lift me up to their level. “Tell us, Hitachiin, how does it feel?” Not even a greeting. How polite of them. I just have to roll my eyes at the comment.

“How does what feel?” I drawl. Some small part of me is telling me that being uncooperative isn't my best option here, but really, who cares?

“Fucking your brother.” He hisses. I shudder at the feeling of his breath against my ear. If I wasn't sure about being ill before, I am now. Not quite as sick as you're making me, you bastard.

“Go to hell.”

“But I can imagine it must be the same as fucking yourself, right?” He chuckles, and I'm suddenly slammed back against the dumpster behind me. I wince at the impact, and struggle weakly against the boys hold. “I was hoping to get a piece of your younger half,” he's teasing me, “he looks like he'd make a good fuck. I'll have to find him, I suppose.”

I'm not even sure how to describe what I'm feeling. It's as if my stomach is trying to detach itself from my body. I stare back at him, he's entirely serious. I can't let him hurt Kaoru. No way.

I repress all my desires to punch this guy in the teeth, grinning at the other boy in a way I could tell was quickly getting on his nerves. I have to make this work. It can't be too difficult, can it? People make this mistake several times a day, even without mine or Kaoru's efforts. I wonder, really, why I want to save that traitor. This must be the real meaning behind unconditional love. “You must really be as stupid as you look.” I laugh openly, earning an odd look from the boys companions.

“What the hell are you talking about, pervert?” The one to his left yells. He tries to step up, but their leader pushes him back with a growl. The two whisper shortly, and I'm shoved against the cold surface again.

“Yeah, have something you'd like to share?”

“I suppose.” I grin despite my situation. Acting is a big part of being a Host after all. “I'm Hitachiin Kaoru.”

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I watch silently as Tamaki paces back and forth in front of me. He's been ranting on and off since we returned to the Third Music Room, though I've only really heard half of what he's been saying.

“I knew it! I knew you two would pull something like this some day!” He yells, stopping to turn to me for a moment before returning to his pacing. “You warped twins have ruined the good name of the Ouran Host Club!”

“I know that!” I bark back. Though, I'm not really sure what I know. I just want him to stop yelling. “I... I know that...”

“Tamaki!” I jump in surprise as the blond king hits the floor with a thump, Haruhi standing over him with a glare. I can imagine the read mark on her hand matches the one on Tamaki's face. “Leave him alone! Do you honestly think you're helping?”

He stands up slowly and dusts off his uniform. I can tell just from his face, he's using every ounce of strength he has not to hit her back. He must really be mad. I've only seen him so much as raise his voice to Haruhi maybe twice. Whatever wall he had built up in the last few moments must have shattered, as he spins around to look her in the eyes.

“Whether or not I'm helping isn't the issue here!”

“You idiot!” She raises her arm, presumably to slap him again, but Mori and Huni have decided to intervene. Mori has a hold on Haruhi's raised arm, and Huni is standing between her and Tamaki.

“Tama-chan, Haru-chan.” Well, at least someone around here isn't yelling. “Neither of you are helping Kao-chan.” He walks over, hopping up onto the couch to sit next to me and taking my hand. I try to smile at him, but even he doesn't fall for it. “Kao-chan, tell us what happened.”

I inhale deeply. By now, the other three have gathered around me in a way that is much too similar to this morning for my tastes. I stand up, shaking Huni from my arm and walking to the window behind where I had been sitting. None of them follow me, so they must have gotten the hint.

“I'm sick of everyone treating us like pets.” I finally speak, having at least been able to ignore the pain in my chest at having to bring the thoughts up again. “The girls, you guys, everyone acts like we are to do what they expect of us, this Brotherly Love act, and nothing more. Like we only exist for them, like we have no lives of our own. We do these things within the Host Club, and everyone thinks thats fine, but if such things happen in our own private time, we're sick and twisted.” I pinch the bridge of my nose, forcing away the tears that threaten to fall. “Why should we have to hide?”

Huni must have walked over somewhere in the middle of my speech. He pulls me down and wraps his arms around his neck, and I can't help but return the embrace. I can feel him speaking through the collar of my uniform. “You shouldn't.”

We're suddenly lifted into the air, but Huni doesn't seem near as surprised as I am. I turn my head to see Mori behind me. I'm locked in the middle of a three way hug, as it seems. “Don't worry, Kao-chan.” I turn back to the small blond to my front. “Hika-chan loves you. And so do I!” His hold on my tightens, and I smile lightly. “We all do. Right, Takashi?”

Mori gives us a “Hn,” the closest I think I've ever heard him come to an answer, though we both know what it means.

“Of course we do.” Haruhi has joined us now, making a failed attempt at hugging us while we are still being held in the air.

I glance around, and see Tamaki leaning against the opposite wall. He's not even trying to hide the fact he's ignoring me. “And what about him?” I mutter, but I don't think anyone hears me. I'm sorry, m'lord...

We're finally released and set back on the ground, and just as soon, the doors to the Third Music Room swing open with a creak. Kyouya bursts in, papers in hand, and pushes his glasses up his nose. As good as he is at hiding emotions, we can all tell he's upset. Haruhi begins to speak, but she is cut off.

“Hikaru was found behind the building. He's been taken to the hospital.”

A/N: I know, it's horrible. I'm not sure what brought this on, I'm just at my aunt's house and really have nothing to do but write. And I know, it's really dark. It'll get better, I swear!

The fact that Huni and Mori are in the fic should give it away, but this takes place the same year as the series. The twins and Haruhi are first years, Tamaki and Kyouya are second years, and Huni and Mori are third years.

I know, the switching back and forth between to two can get confusing, but unless I plan it otherwise, there will always be a way to tell which twin is speaking. Either by the setting, or by them thinking of the other. The switch between POVs will be clearly marked by the line up there.

Ignore any OOCness, please. I know Mori and Kyouya would normally be a bit more reserved, but if I wrote them that way, they would speak a whole of two times. And I know Tamaki isn't that much of a bastard, but the reasoning behind that will come up. And I know Haruhi wouldn't really hit Tamaki with the intention of hurting him. She's just really angry.

I'm thinking of having Hikaru sustain some sort of permanent or long-but-temporary problem as a result of either the beating, or illness from being in the rain so long. Any ideas are welcome.

Please note. This has been written in OpenOffice, which still does not have a grammar check. So please point out any grammar mistakes to me and I will fix them as quickly as possible. On that note, much love to my ex-wifey for catching some of my fuck ups.

Review, too.