Ouran High School Host Club Fan Fiction ❯ Host Club Love ❯ The plot boils ( Chapter 1 )

Author's note: I do not own Ouran High school host club or any of the characters or setting. They belong to Bisco Hatori. The plot for this particular story, however, is mine.

 

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The gentle sunlight poured down over the Ouran High School, promising a wonderful day. Little birds twittered and flitted about the gardens and birdbaths. All was peaceful until…

 

Screams tore through the third music room and burst into the courtyard below, drawing many strange stares. Takashi showed no signs of hearing anything, while Honey-chan's slice of cake fell from his frozen fork. An annoyed vein pulsed in Kyouya's head and the point of his pencil shattered from the pressure.

 

“What is it Tamaki?”

 

“M-Mommy! Mommy the twins are doing naughty things to Haruhi!”

 

The youngest Ohtori sighed, wondering why God was so against him finishing his work. Reluctantly he rose and moved over to where a drastically discolored Tamaki stood pointing. “Tamaki, that's a table.”

 

“Under it! Look under the table!” With another sigh, Kyouya obliged and lifted the tablecloth.

 

“Ugh, too loud! Somebody tell tono to keep it down, he'll wake Kaoru.”

 

Now Kyouya understood why the past year he had been prone to headaches. “Exactly what are you doing?” Haruhi looked appropriately apologetic.

 

“There was a thunderstorm and Kaoru and Hikaru found me hiding under here and they came to comfort me. By the time the storm stopped Kaoru had fallen asleep and since they were being so nice to me I couldn't wake him up…”

 

Kyouya shot a glance at the younger Hitachiin twin and clearly saw the `I'm not really sleeping' smirk on his face and a matching smirk on Hikaru's face.

 

So, operation `Tick off Tamaki' has taken a new turn… Sometimes he had to wonder about those two. “Fine.” He pulled himself up.

 

“FINE!? MOOOOOMMMMMYYYY!!!! WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY FINE!?!?”

 

Kyouya walked off. “Hikaru, next time tell Kaoru that Ranka-san would probably prefer if he didn't put his hand there.”

 

“WHHHHHAAAAAAAA!! STARLIGHT KICK!” The table went flying and Tamaki grabbed Haruhi's hand. “Tell me where! Tell daddy where that pervert was touching his precious daughter!” Throughout this Kaoru hadn't opened his eyes or released his grip from the girl's waist.

 

“Hiiikaruuu… five more minutes…”

 

“Kaoru likes to cuddle tono. You can't really blame him.”

 

Violently Tamaki shook the not-sleeping Hitachiin. “Of course I can blame him! Doing all sorts of things to my little Haruhi under the table! To go as far as to violate her innocence…”

 

The Inner-Tamaki Theater began its countdown.

 

3

 

2

 

1

 

0

 

Haruhi in a white, frilly, low cut dress and white bow cowers under a table as thunder roars outside. “Tamaki-kun! Where are you? I need you!”

 

“Scared Haruhi?” The twins slip under the table. “Here, let us hold you.”

 

“B-But I'm waiting for my darling Tamaki-kun.”

 

“Of course,” they chorus, “but he might not get here for a while. Until then let us put your mind at ease. You trust us don't you?”

 

Shyly Haruhi nods and allows herself to be pulled into Kaoru's arms while Hikaru moves in front of her. “Trust us,” Kaoru whispers in her ears.

 

“We'll make you forget all about the thunder while we make our own storm in here.”

 

Haruhi's eyes widen. “OH! Oh Hikaru, not there! Don't touch me there! K-Kaoru! Oh, Kaoru don't.” She can only grab two hands, not knowing which two particular hands she grabbed, but knowing that there were two more roaming over her skin.

 

“Don't worry, just enjoy it. Tono never has to know.” Their eerie voices crooned together. “We're your friends, we wouldn't do anything bad to you.”

 

“I-It's not bad?” They shake their heads. Innocent Haruhi still looks a little nervous. “O-okay then. If it isn't bad…” She lets go and leans back…

 

End credits

 

“NOOOOOOOOOO! Haruhi! It's Bad! It's Bad! Make them stop!” Tamaki dropped to his knees, tears streaming out of his eyes. The twins looked at him blankly.

 

“Tono's thinking dirty thoughts.” Haruhi shook her head at him.

 

“Pervert.” She walked off, ignoring Tamaki's completely white face as he retreated to his corner to sulk.

 

“Haruhi, don't worry. I understand that Tamaki broke the table, even if it was for your sake. I won't put the whole cost on your bill.” Haruhi froze and slowly turned to look at the shadow king.

 

Evil…pure evil…

 

As if either oblivious to the club members' antics, or thoroughly used to them by now, Honey-chan and Takashi ignored the others in favor of a tea party with Usa-chan. (Honey-chan did most of the tea party things while Takashi pretty much just sat there.)

 

“Tonooooo…” The twins sidled up close to the still-depressed Tamaki. “We should have a contest.”

 

“Hmph.”

 

Ignoring the `Go away, I'm not speaking to you' vibe the king of the host club was giving, they pressed on. “There won't really be a prize, but winning the game will be the best prize. The contest will be `Who Can Get Haruhi's Second Kiss'!” Getting no response, they turned away and spoke in stage whispers.

 

“I guess he doesn't really want to play.”

 

“I guess. Well, it won't be as fun without him, but I bet it would be easier.”

 

“But Hikaru, that isn't really fair, I just realized. You already had Haruhi's second kiss!”

 

Tamaki turned a shade of blue.

 

“That's right… and it's no good playing for her third kiss, since you got that right after I got the second. It's no fun now.”

 

Red fury crept up the blonde's face.

 

“I know! We'll make it more interesting by making it an open contest. We can put up posters and have an entrance fee and Kyouya can donate a prize to the first person that steals a kiss from Haruhi.”

 

“Well that would be fun, more competition and all. But I didn't want it that big. How about we just play for a look at her underwear then? The first person to get a picture of Haruhi in her underwear wins.”

 

“YOU TWO! HAVE YOU NO SHAME!?”

 

“Tooonooo,” they drawled, “you want to play the kiss game with us then?”

 

“You're on!”

 

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“Kyouya! Kyouya wait. I need to talk to you!” Mentally counting to ten, then twenty, Kyouya paused and waited for his idiotic friend to catch up. “I need a favor!”

 

“No.”

 

“But…”

 

“I'm not helping you get Haruhi to kiss you.”

 

“Nonononononononono.” He waved his hands madly. “That's dishonorable! I only agreed to this game so those two twin-demon spawn wouldn't try to humiliate Haruhi. What I'm planning to do is play this game completely oppositely. My purpose in this game is to keep the Hitachiin brothers from her.”

 

“This is your fight.”

 

“But Kyouya!” Tamaki grabbed onto his arm. “Think about it! Those two are evil! And Haruhi won't be able to pay back her debt if she gets pregnant! Can you imagine trying to pass off a pregnant woman as a man?”

 

Kyouya made the mistake of trying to picture Pregnant Haruhi and shuddered. “Fine. But I won't get personally involved.”

 

Tamaki stopped listening right at `fine' and was now dancing in glee. “Here's my plan!” He whipped out a television set from his bag and plugged in a VCR (also in the bag) and popped in a tape. Cartoon pictures of the Hitachiin brothers appeared on-screen, walking toward a crudely drawn Ouran Academy.

 

“When did you have time to do this?”

 

“This was in storage for a special occasion. It's my brilliant backup plan. I call it the “Have Mori-sempai, Honey-sempai And Kyouya Help Me Keep Those Purely Evil Devil-Clones Away From Haruhi And Protect Her Innocence From The Impure Ones Who Would Seek To Use Her Only For Their Own Amusement, Namely Those Twin Brothers Who Shall Not Be Named For Fear Their Evil Penetrate Through The Very Air And Taint This Plan With Their Evil” plan. Catchy, isn't it?”

 

“How long did it take you to come up with that name?”

 

“Three weeks, but that's beside the point. Now, when the twins come to school in the morning…”