Phantasy Star Fan Fiction ❯ Beyond Words ❯ Chapter 1

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Hyuga Ryght is a flirt, this is a well known fact. I shouldn't like him, and I don't, but I don't dislike him either...

Beyond Words

Quote 01: Partner

Hyuga Ryght is a flirt, this is a well known fact; it's common knowledge. Vivienne permanently recorded this piece of information on her hard drive a short time after her basic programming was complete and she was sent off to face the world. Vivienne doesn't return his feelings, merely acting confused when ever Hyuga tries to flirt with her and muttering something about needing to further develop her heart to better understand the people around her. It may sound like she's giving him wings, but she's not. She just hasn't properly learned how to reject a date; but it's easy to see that's what she's trying to do, without sounding too harsh.

On many occasions I have seen Hyuga flirting with Mina even if she has made it clear that she does not return his feelings. In fact, Mina has scolded Hyuga many times and she's not the only one. Laia, with whom Hyuga also flirts when ever he gets the chance, has also scolded him.

In short, Hyuga flirts with almost every woman he comes across, though at least he sometimes has enough sense to stop when it becomes obvious that his target already has someone else. However, of all the single young women who one way or another cross Hyuga's path, few escape his attempts to obtain their interest and a positive response to a date invitation, which he never gets.

It wasn't until later that it came to my attention that I am one of those few women with whom Hyuga doesn't flirt. At first I didn't care, I just ignored that fact as I had done before I noticed it, and life went on as it always has.

Later I was glad. I assumed that in a sense Hyuga saw me more as a Guardian than as a woman, which meant that he recognized my abilities. Then I realized that I'm pretty average as a Guardian. Sure I can hold my own in battle, but I have nothing special enough to be noticed beyond any other female Guardian. Even so, I didn't give the situation too much thought, it didn't concern me.

It wasn't until at the end of a successful mission that I spared Hyuga a second glance for the first time. "You just might be my ideal partner!" It was his way of congratulating me, and I wonder what it means. Is it only about business?

His words were spoken casually, without the flirtatious tone that Hyuga always uses when talking to Mina, Vivienne, Laia and so many others. There were no hints at a secret meaning, no mischief in his eyes and no body language to give his thoughts away, because maybe there were no hidden thoughts to begin with.

Hyuga Ryght is a flirt, this is a well known fact; it's common knowledge. If he ever asked me out, I would say no. Yet somehow, as illogical as it may sound, I wish he would...

Quote 02: Help

I don't know why I got that mission; I certainly wasn't at the proper level to be able to handle it with the ease my teammates did.

We tried to spread out and attack, but instead of dominating the enemy like they did, I was quickly cornered and overpowered. I shot my ice gun desperately, hoping that the deadly machines would be trapped in a block of ice and fall to my saber. But it wasn't working; they were too strong and continued approaching.

One of them jumped forward and slashed at my gun. I gripped it on instinct and was able to hold on to it, but the automatic aiming system was ripped off. The gun still worked so I kept shooting at point blank and was able to finally trap my attacker in a block of ice; then destroy the machine with my saber. However, in my desperate state my aim was worse than usual and I decided to put my gun away before I used up all its energy without the aiming system to aid me in shooting the rest of the enemies.

Finally, the rest of the enemy machines reached me and I defended myself with my saber. They knocked me down, the blade slipping away from my hand. I reached for my gun and shot ice at my foes, but there were too many and my gun had run out of energy.

For a moment I thought I would die. "Let me help!" Then, after those words, an impressive display of skill and a bright healing light, I wondered if I did die and went to heaven were the Great Light sent an angel to welcome me.

With the enemies destroyed, Hyuga reached out to me and helped me to my feet. I secured my drained and damaged gun on my belt, doing the same after picking up my saber.

That day Hyuga Ryght was my angel, then just as quickly he flew away. The mission continued and this event was without a doubt forgotten. Yes, it was immediately forgotten, by both of us...

Quote 03: Strength

Since I had survived my previous missions, though not entirely by my own merits, I continued being dispatched with this team. I didn't complain, and I don't even know why. I suppose I assumed my skill level will eventually rise to the point where I can handle these missions, and to do so I need to be exposed to them and train.

The situation was similar to last time, but by now my ice gun had been repaired and I kept a firm grip on my saber. I would not play the part of the damsel in distress again, not for a prince who disappears so quickly.

I was focused on the battle, surrounded by loud noises and disarray, but even then one distinct sound reached me above and beyond all that, it was the voice of Hyuga Ryght, I didn't know if it was a battle cry, a surprised yelp, or a scream of pain, but I rushed towards the source of the sound, tearing down every foe that stood in my path.

"Take that!" I desperately shot and I slashed until I made it to Hyuga. He was fine, he didn't need any help at all, I should have known. Did I just imagine his voice?

He nodded his approval to all of us more so than to me alone, and picked up the keycard that one of the enemies had dropped. Then our little group proceeded through the now unlocked automatic door.

It's ironic that when I was in danger Hyuga had to come to my rescue, but when I thought he was in danger, even if he truly wasn't, I found the strength to try to repay the favor, even if it wasn't needed, in a situation where I couldn't even protect myself before. I'm not sure what this means, but I'd like to think it's only due to the extra training I've been doing and my additional experience this time around, those should be the only reasons...

Quote 04: Friends

I feel guilty to only be pretending to listen to what Vivienne is saying. Yet at the same time I'm jealous. Casts can upgrade themselves with relative ease, while it takes a lot of effort for a human to be upgraded so to speak. Sure we can train, and some say that our possibilities are endless, not limited by materials and technological advancements, but that comes at a heavy price.

I realize that it's true what they say in Neudaiz, the grass really is always greener on the other side of the fence. Another saying that comes to mind is a more generalized one in the galaxy about the furthest star always appearing to be brighter. I remember there was a classic children's story about a boy who wanted to see the brightest star up close after having seen it shining in the distance of space.

The boy in the story left his home and traveled far away until he finally reached his destination. But then he looked back and noticed an even brighter star in the distance so he went there instead. When he arrived, he realized that the star was right next to his home. He had been living near the brightest star all along and didn't realize.

I guess the moral of the story is that we should be thankful for what we have. But even so, humans, neumans, beasts and casts alike, all long for what they don't have. Vivienne wants to develop her emotions and I want to calm mine. What we both have in common is that we wish to understand what we feel.

To me her dilemma seems simple, her emotions are still developing and thus she doesn't have a lot to deal with yet. But I guess that I am wrong to think this way, to Vivienne who is living the situation, it must feel very complex, or maybe it is that emotional complexity that she longs to have and I wish to untangle.

Quite frankly, I don't have the smallest idea what's wrong with me. The slight nervous feeling in the back of my head, is it due to the increasing difficulty of my Guardian missions lately? The increase in my heart beat's rhythm, is it because of the extra training and exercise? The tightness in my chest, is it really a physical reaction or is it all in my head?

When I wake from my thoughts Vivienne is quiet and I don't know for how long she has been silently waiting for my reply. I feel guilty to have spaced out when I should have been listening. Then she pushes her troubles aside and lets me know that she has noticed my recent pensive state, offering kind words of reassurance as best as she can.

I can't help it but to smile, "thanks, I'm fine now."

Quote 05: Injury

That last mission was a disaster. The chaotic scenes that replay in my mind while I stare at the ceiling of the Neudaiz Guardian health facility are anything but pleasant. Anyone would have nightmares about being nearly killed for many nights to come, but I am living the nightmare of failure while I'm wide awake.

I'm wrapped in bandages like a mummy, waiting for the irreplaceable parts of my body to heal, I'm not a cast, I can't simply be repaired. I'm not adept in healing either, thus I cannot cure myself any faster than my organic tissue can naturally mend.

This time Hyuga wasn't in the mission and for that I am both thankful and regretful. I wonder if he could have rescued me this time. If not, then I would rather not be seen by him in such a state.

I don't understand why my thoughts go back to Hyuga. Is it because he is a man and I would have been embarrassed to be seen in this pitiful state by any man? Yes, that has to be it. It doesn't matter it's Hyuga or someone else, it's natural for a girl to only want to show her good side to men, and feel a little more comfort in showing her weaknesses only to trusted female friends.

Speaking of friends, Vivienne was the one to save me this time; though I doubt she will be able to save me from Headmaster Nav's review of my performance on this mission. I was completely out of focus and I can't deny it. Is it because I've been trying so hard that I'm burned out, or is it something else entirely? Well of course my poor performance this time must be due to exhaustion, what other reason can there be? Have I truly reached my limit? I certainly hope not, I do wish to continue improving.

A neuman woman enters the room; she has long blond hair and glasses. She's wearing a black dress with only one sleeve and a reassuring smile. For some reason, I immediately feel a sense of admiration and find comfort in her sisterly eyes, even though I hardly know Maya Shidow.

I know she's here to heal me and I'm looking forward to being free of the remnant stinging of the burns and the excess bandages that make me look like a mummy.

"You'll be alright," when Maya speaks those words, I believe her.

Quote 06: Love

I'm pretty sure Tonnio must think I'm insane and Vivienne must have disregarded the entire scene as one big error. Well it's not my fault that the team was calmly eating after finishing a mission when my communicator rung and I had to answer it.

No, it wasn't my fault at all, I was merely stating facts. I was answering Maya's question on the communicator when I slammed my fist on the table so hard the surface shook and my drink was spilled.

I couldn't help it, when Maya asked, "are you in love," I simply had to declare at the top of my lungs that I was so over that jerk and have all those present at stare at me as if I grew a second head.

One thing is for sure, no matter how much Maya asks about it with her newly fortified curiosity, the jerk in question shall remain nameless.

Quote 07: Fate

I have to admit my plan was stupid and it was fated to fail. I should have known that from the start. Actually, I did know that from the start; yet somehow, I went on with it.

I thought that somehow, someway, by an unexpected yet wonderful twist of fate, Hyuga's flirting would blow up in his face. I should have known that sooner or later it would all blow up in mine.

To carry out my ever so stupid plan I had to get Hyuga to talk to a certain someone. It was odd, usually I avoided him and either stared longingly or glared furiously from afar. But this time, since I wasn't talking to Hyuga on my own behalf, or so I thought, I didn't mind talking to him.

In fact, I didn't mind cutting in while he was flirting and promptly informing him that I needed to talk to him elsewhere. I didn't even notice when I firmly grabbed his wrist and started to almost drag him away from his fan girls, until one of them lashed herself to his other arm and I could move him no further.

Then a competition began just as Mina passed by and stopped to stare with her jaw nearly hitting the floor. She thought I knew better than to fight for Hyuga and I did know better. I wasn't fighting for Hyuga, but to Mina it looked like I was. The cherry on top was probably Hyuga's melodramatic "this is my fate," while he didn't even try to escape our tug of war.

Quote 08: Someone to Like

"What are you going to do when you find someone you really like?" I clearly remember when Mina asked Hyuga this question. I remember her annoyed expression, her angry tone, and the way she shook her head in disapproval. All of this is clear in my mind.

Then I think Hyuga said something, but I'm not sure. I think he gave her some kind of stupid answer, an excuse or maybe an egotistical rant. Perhaps he didn't get the message and tried to charm her, it's something he would do. I don't know, I just don't know. I wasn't listening, I was staring. I know he was producing sounds, but I know not what they meant. Hyuga could very well be blabbering incoherencies and I wouldn't know the difference; though some would argue that he does babble incoherencies all the time anyway.

Vivienne still has a lot to learn, however, in her confusion and her eagerness to learn and participate from whatever was happening with Hyuga and I, she made a wonderful misinterpretation of the situation. That girl was holding Hyuga hostage, never mind the obvious difference in their fighting skill since she was a civilian. Thus the lovely Cast angel of mercy decided to assist me in my apparently noble task of rescuing Hyuga by pulling the girl away, thus allowing me to escape with him in tow.

I know I've created quite a mess, but in my rush of the moment state, all I want to do is find out how Hyuga will answer Mina's question for real, even if I'm not the one who's going to get the answer out of him.

Quote 09: Someone Nice

I must admit I feel terribly guilty right about now, and it's definitely not for him. Whatever punishment the Holy Light brings upon Hyuga Ryght, he deserves that and more. But I do feel bad for her, because I'm the one who brought this upon her.

She's not one to play with another's feelings, even if they deserve it. She's not up to this and she never was; I was. But I lack the means to make it work and I thought she could, perhaps even unintentionally.

"If you know of anyone nice, introduce me, won't you?" I shouldn't have told Maya I would. I shouldn't have dragged Hyuga to meet her and I shouldn't have expected her to play him like a violin, because she's much too nice to do that, and she didn't even try.

Hyuga flirted, Maya refused him, and then it all ended. He was disappointed but I didn't care. She was upset that I had apparently tricked her and it pained me.

I followed Maya, the one who treated me as a sister. The one whom I disappointed and betrayed in an attempt to give Hyuga a taste of his own medicine, which she was not willing to give. I apologized, she forgave me, she thinks I'm in love with him, that I'm in pain, that I wanted vengeance, that I'm hurt. But in truth, I'm just stupid.

Quote 10: Burn

I have a lovely little robot friend. She's not a Cast but a machine, hence why she is considered of my property, but I see her as my little roommate. She's adorable, like a small doll. Her hair is a deep violet, her eyes are red and she looks angelic. She wears a black and white dress and always smiles cutely.

I took her when Maya and I went Seed hunting in Neudaiz to train, to let out the stress, and to mend our friendship. Her name is Nya and she's cute and small, but also powerful.

"Burn!" The battle cry was followed by an almost maniacal, yet adorable laughter, as the Seeds fell to the wrath of little Nya. Is it wrong that I'm imagining Hyuga as the target? But I won't do anything crazy; I won't send Nya to attack him. I'll just enjoy my fantasy.

Quote 11: Troublesome

I didn't even notice Hyuga attempting to speak to me, as I was too busy chatting with Ethan. We walked, we laughed, we joked, and I slapped away the hand poking me on the shoulder causing Hyuga to pout and Ethan to look amused.

It wasn't until Ethan got quiet and nodded his head towards Hyuga that I noticed the other boy's presence and wondered for how long he had been standing there.

"Sorry to trouble you." I'm not sure how I should interpret Hyuga's words; if he was annoyed because I ignored him, or if what was bothering him was something else entirely. Either way, the point is he asked me for Maya's number and I refused to give it to him. I'm in good terms with Maya and do not wish to cause trouble for her again.

Then I just nonchalantly brushed him off and continued talking to Ethan. I didn't even notice what I did until Ethan pointed it out, and I apologized for being rude, to Ethan, as if I only cared about the impression I was giving him and not at all about ignoring Hyuga.

I didn't like Ethan, I couldn't. I wasn't tongue-tied, or nervous, or self conscious, or jealous, or frustrated, or any of that. Then again, I'm not sure where and when I got the idea that a crush had to come with all those negative consequences included. Maybe it's not supposed to be so troublesome.

Quote 12: Better Late than Never

Okay, so maybe I do like Ethan, but I don't feel odd around him, I feel comfortable. That's a good thing, just unexpected. However, that doesn't mean I'm completely free of awkward moments, like that time Vivienne blurted out her analysis of what she thought was going on between Ethan and I, emphasizing that it was I who needed to provide more information regarding my emotions for the relationship to progress. I wanted to deactivate her, but I just sat there open mouthed and red faced.

Ethan laughed in good humor, advising Vivienne not to try to apply statistics to everything, and explaining that sometimes there are things that cannot be explained with a logical analysis. Then Vivienne said something about my shyness variable being higher than she thought.

While they spoke, I managed to close my mouth and begin to nod dumbly, until Ethan inquired if what Vivienne said was true and I continued to nod, soon after realizing what I was doing and shaking my head frantically.

I guess there's nothing to lose. Nothing venture, nothing gained. I don't even know when Maya arrived, but I shouldn't be surprised to see her since we are in a park in planet Neudaiz close to where she lives. She encouraged me to say what everyone already knows and I took my time to figure out. Then I settled my battle of nods and shakes with a voiced affirmative answer so soft that it could hardly be caught.

Ethan is amused, and so is everyone else, except me, but I'm not in a bad mood either, certainly not, I'm actually in a good mood. Then Ethan replies, "I wish I met you sooner," and I thank the Holy Light, with a smile on my face.

End

Disclaimer, I don't own Phantasy Star Portable.