Psych Fan Fiction ❯ Mary Had a Little Sue ❯ The Story of a Sue ( Chapter 5 )

I don't care what my word processor says. "Sempiternal" is so a real word.

 

The tape recorder hummed softly as Lassiter stared across the table at the Sue. “Do you understand your rights as I have read them to you?” he asked, oozing professionalism.

 

“Yes.”

 

“At this time, do you wish to talk?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Do you understand that, if at any point in this interrogation, you change your mind, we will stop the interrogation?”

 

“Yes.”

 

Lassiter nodded his head in approval. Now he could get on with the important stuff. “Please state your name.”

 

“Francesca Aiko Elric von Periwinkle III,” the Sue said in all seriousness.

 

The detective blinked, loosing temporary control of his expert demeanor. “You mean two other people have had that God awful name?”

 

Francesca gasped at his sudden outburst, making Carlton realize his error. He cleared his throat awkwardly before continuing, “Age?”

 

“Sixteen.”

 

“Place of birth?”

 

“Tucson, Arizona.”

 

“Ethnicity?”

 

“Mary-Sue.”

 

The detective paused for a moment as he registered her response. This could possible be in his favor. If he could find just a little bit of evidence that she was on drugs, this would make it that much easier to convict her. “Do you have anything to tell me before I ask anymore questions?” In half an hour, Lassiter would come to regret asking that question.

 

The Sue sighed and Carlton got a good look at her eyes, sempiternal pools shimmering with long felt pain and heartbreak. “When I was about five,” she began, “Mr. Malediction murdered my parents. It was my fault, you see. I had been so eager for a bedtime story that my parents didn't have a chance to activate the psychokinetic force fields. It was all too easy for him to get inside the house without them.”

 

Lassiter raised his eyebrow. Was this girl on hallucinogens? “Go on,” he prompted.

 

“Well, then Mr. Malediction adopted me and made me his slave. I eventually managed to run away, but he's still out there, somewhere, looking for me. Sometimes, he actually manages to find me. This one time at band camp-”

 

The detective sighed. This could take a while.

 

I couldn't resist the American Pie reference.

 

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