Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction ❯ Don't you know it's love ❯ Chapter 6

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

"Hello, Joketsuzoku Village."
"This is Perfume."
"Ah, Perfume! Your mother's been expecting you! First Sister! First Sister!"
"Perfume?"
"Hello, mother. I was wondering, could you send me some Nannichuan water?"
"Wa! What would you want Nannichuan water for?"
"Ancestor Cologne said there's a lot of people with Jusenkyo curses around here."
"Oh, I see… you remembered the Nyannichuan water for Shampoo, right? You don't need me to send any? And what if I fall?"
"Just jump into Nyannichuan, mother. And it was Nyannichuan you fell into, then there shouldn't ought to be any problem."
"But of course."
"Oh, and did I tell you, Shampoo's getting married."
"To the outsider? The one from Japan? Do you know which one I-"
"Yes, I know which one. It's not him."
"Then who could it be?"
"…"
"Perfume?"
"Well… it's one of the Jakou Ouchou. Ancestor Cologne said his name's-"
CRASH!
"Mint…mother? Mother, are you still there?"
"But… how…"
"Ancestor Cologne said it was an accidental defeat but still it was a defeat so… mother, what's so terrible about the Jakou Ouchou I mean we did sign a treaty with them, didn't we?"
"…er, Perfume, have you talked to the Jusenkyo guide lately?"
"What does that have to do with-"
"Let me tell you something…" That night Shampoo wouldn't speak to me either. I really don't know why she got so angry. All I did was ask her to help with the floor. What was the matter with that? It's not like I asked her to open her shirt or anything… aw, forget it.
And I hadn't touched her once, excepting when I fell over her in the street (that was why she had to marry me, I think, cause somehow it knocked her out and I guess by Joketsuzoku standards that's a defeat) and I didn't feel anything but the bike falling on me. Yes, that's right, I didn't touch her. Not after I saw what she did to Lime. I guess girls don't react good to that sort of thing. I know Herb doesn't.
So the next day she'd gone off to the Nekohanten, and I'd finished up the living room floor and was working on the kitchen. Lime had gone off to "look for something." Herb was in bed with a headache, that's what he told Lime and me anyway. Lime didn't believe him, so Herb convinced him, and after that Lime couldn't stop agreeing or holding his head.
There was a knocking on the door.
"If it's Mousse there, get lost and don't come back."
"No, this is Perfume." It was in Japanese, but something about the accent sounded familiar.
"Perfume? I don't think I know you."
"Just open the door. We need to talk."
Well it didn't sound like Mousse, so I went out and opened the door, still holding the cleaning rag.
It was a woman. Okay, I shouldn't have been surprised, Perfume isn't exactly a male name after all, even with the Joketsuzoku, but still.
"Is the rumor true?" Still Japanese for some reason, maybe for the same reason Mousse and Shampoo talked in Japanese I guessed.
"I am getting married to Shampoo-chan if that's what you wanted to know. You want to sit down?"
Apparently she did want to, because she did sit down. "No, not that one… the other one."
"I haven't heard of any other rumors not ones that I would know were true anyway."
"The curse, ignoramus." She'd switched to Chinese. "The Jusenkyo curse. Is it true about your higher-up?"
"…well, yeah, he does have one, does it matter which one."
"No."
"What would you want to know for?"
"Nannichuan water."
I couldn't talk for a moment. "Nannichuan water?"
"I've told my mother to send some over. I seem to have a shortage at the moment, but when it comes…"
"What did you have Nannichuan water for in the first place?"
"For Mousse."
I dropped the rag. It landed like a parachute with nothing attached, and I didn't bother picking it up. "What?!"
"What have you got against Mousse?"
"You'd better ask him what he's got against me." I don't know exactly why I was so angry, but I just was. "And he must be really lazy or procrastinating or something because he was here just yesterday and he turned into a duck when I emptied the bucket on him."
Next moment I was staring at the clean living room floor while Shampoo yelled.
"You philanderer! Retard! What were you doing with Perfume?"
"Shampoo, calm down. I just wanted to confirm something."
"Confirm WHAT?"
"I sent for more Nannichuan water for your other intended." Her voice was so collected I thought it would just make Shampoo angrier. Especially since she hadn't answered the question.
"Really?"
"Really. Now, I'd better go, shouldn't I?"
"Yes, and tell Mousse something."
"What?"
"Tell him to get lost and don't come back."
I waited for Perfume to say something else until the door shut. Then I got up and watched Shampoo wrench the door back open.
"This doesn't mean I'll marry you willingly, Mint."
"I thought it was your law that said-"
"SHUT UP!"
I lay on the floor for some time after the door slammed loud enough to send Herb storming in demanding what the racket was about, his headache apparently gone. I have the worst of luck.
Japan has very strange weather. I suppose that was part of the reason I got sent here for training. Yeah right. Father and the others must have been planning to drive me crazy when they sent me here. Why couldn't it have been to Beijing? Or even Cambodia?
"Stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid rain," I muttered, holding up the umbrella in a useless gesture. I was already wet and anyway the umbrella was full of holes that Lime "accidentally" knocked into it last week. Next, I suppose, he'll "accidentally" break all the hot water pipes.
I couldn't remember exactly why I was out in the street in the first place. I remember getting ticked off by Mint babbling on about Nannichuan, among other things. But I could definitely remember that when I left it was sunny, and the newspaper forecast said, "Guaranteed clear skies."
I was going to strangle whoever wrote that forecast. After I got out of the rain.
"Excuse me."
"What?" I grumbled.
"Thermos of hot water for one thousand five hundred yen. Umbrella for four thousand."
How in hell did she know? "Nabiki, do you have any hot water?"
"Nope. Sold it."
"How about an umbrella?"
"Sold that, too."
I cursed picturesquely under my breath. Figures. "Oh, and to who? Ryouga?"
"If you must know, my new boyfriend."
"And who would your new boyfriend be?" Maybe it was a little more sarcastic than I intended, but it seemed all too convenient that she'd run out of hot water just when I needed it. Although on second thought maybe it wasn't so convenient because before when I needed it she'd have it, and charge five thousand yen for it. "Kuno?"
"Some dragon guy, family name Jinlong, didn't tell me his first name but he gave me his address…"
My shrink tells me I shouldn't fall down when I'm surprised. He says it disturbs the brain. Everyone knows I think my shrink should see the shrink.
But still, as I lay there on the sidewalk with rain pooling in my eyes, I decided maybe he had a bit of a point.