Ronin Warriors Fan Fiction / Big O Fan Fiction / Fan Fiction / Digimon Fan Fiction / Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction / Gundam Wing Fan Fiction / Pokemon Fan Fiction / Pokemon Fan Fiction / Sailor Moon Fan Fiction / Tenchi Muyo Fan Fiction ❯ ANIME DEATHMATCH!!! ❯ Videl VS Relena ( Chapter 6 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Starcatcher: Hey everyone! It's time for ANIME DEATHMATCH (echo)!!! I'm your host, Starcatcher!

Vulpes: And I'm your co-host! And this…(holds up a banner with a phone number on it) is my phone number! So call me…only if you're a guy…and if you're cute!

Everyone: (Stares blankly at Vulpes as many of the cute guys in the audience sneak out the door)

Vulpes: (Notices this) HEY!

Starcatcher: Oh brother!

Sparky: Yes?

Kat: You're really going to have to learn to stop saying that…

Vulpes: Oh well…tonight's show features Videl VS Serena!

Kat: At least that's what it WOULD have been, but we managed to pull a few strings so instead, tonight's fight will be Videl VS Relena! That way, when one dies, we will have one less psycho annoying us.

Blade: (evilly) So who will win and who will die?

(In the audience…)

Hero: Please let it be Relena.

Duo: You want Relena to win?

Hero: No, I want her to die! DDDDDIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEE!!! (Gets a psycho look as he grabs a doll that looks strangely similar to Relena and rips it's head off)

Duo: (Scared) You're freaking me out, He-man!

Trowa: (Stares, eyes wide)

Quatra: Please, Hero…you're making a scene.

Hero: (Laughs insanely as he tears the doll apart)

Wufei: What's the matter with him?

(Up in the announcer's box…)

Vulpes: (Whistles innocently)

Kat: Vulpes, would you happen to know the reason why Hero has gone insane?

Vulpes: Uh…nooo…

Blade: I'm not even going to ask…

Starcatcher: Uh…lets just get this fight started…

(In the arena…)

Andy: Shut up you reta-

Videl: ANDY!!!

Andy: Huh? Oh! Hey Videl!

Videl: Hi Andy! (Kisses him)

Everyone: (Stares)

(In the announcer's box…)

Vulpes: (Stares)

Blade: (Stares)

Kat: (Stares)

Sparky: (Stares)

Starcatcher: (Stares) Uh…that was messed up…

Melvin: (Faints)

(In the audience…)

Krillin: Hey Gohan…isn't Videl your girlfriend.

Gohan: No…(silently) Thank god!

(Back in the announcer's box…)

Vulpes: I'm confused…I thought everyone hated Andy?

Kat: So did I…

Blade: This day just keeps getting weirder and weirder…

Kat: (To Andy and Videl) HEY! Do you two think you could make out LATER?!

Andy: SHUT UP RETARD! (Continues making out with Videl, prolonging the fight)


Relena: I'm a Pacifist! I believe that violence of any kind is wrong and…blah blah blah blah (Continues)

Videl: (Stops kissing Andy) Oh SHUT UP! (Punches Relena in the stomach)

Relena: WHY YOU-!!! (Throws an uppercut to Videl's head)

Videl: (Flies backwards)

Relena: (Looks at her hand) OH NO! I broke a nail!

Everyone: (Falls anime style)

Serena: Oh screw this! (Pulls out scepter) Omae o korosu!

Hero: (To Serena) You stole my line! (Pulls out gun) Omae o korosu!

Serena: Hn…


Serena: And just what makes it yours?

Duo: (To the other pilots) Does she have a death wish?

Other G-boys: (Shrug)

Hero: (Glare) The fact that I've killed more people in a year than you have in your entire lifetime and I could kill you in less than a second.

Serena: (Skeptically) Oh really?

Hero: I can kill anyone.

Serena: You can't kill Relena! You never do!

Hero: Yes I can!

Serena: Oh yeah! Prove it! You take down Relena and I'll take out Videl. Whichever of us succeeds, wins!

Hero: …

Serena: Well? You going to do it? Or don't you have the guts?!

Hero: …Mission accepted…

(In the announcer's box…)

Vulpes: Oh, how to kill Relena…let me count the ways…

Kat: That's enough Shakespeare for you!

Vulpes: Aww…

Blade: How do you think he'll kill her?

Kat: He'll probably shoot her.

Blade: Nah, too obvious. I bet he'll poison her.

Vulpes: I bet $10 that he'll squish her like a bug using his Gundam!

Kat and Blade: YOU'RE ON!

Starcatcher: You guys bet too much…

Blade: You're just saying that because you know that you'll lose!

Kat and Vulpes: YEAH!

Starcatcher: Fine then, I bet that he'll fail, causing his head to explode at which time, Relena will be glomping him and will be blown to smithereens!

Blade: That was…oddly specific…

Vulpes: But I bet that won't happen!

Kat: How about we stop prolonging this and find out who was right?

Everyone: Fine.

(Back in the audience…)

Hero: (Climbs into his Gundam, which mysteriously appeared out of nowhere, squashing over half the audience)

Kat: Now where did that come from?

Vulpes: *GASP* He just flattened over half the audience!!!

Starcatcher: (Views the scene through binoculars) Don't worry, I can see their parachutes! Everyone's A-OK!

Everyone: (Blank stares)

(In the arena…)

Hero: DDDDDDIIIIIIIEEEEEEE!!! (Stomps on Relena)

Duo: I don't know whether I should be enjoying this or fearing for my life…

Other G-boys: (Nod)

Hero: (Stops stomping on Relena and jumps out of Gundam, landing in the arena) Mission…completed…

Relena: (Turns out to be alive) Oh Hero! You wouldn't kill me!

(Announcer's box…)

Blade: She's just like Andy!

Sparky: She just keeps coming and coming and coming and-

Starcatcher: I think everyone gets the point!

Vulpes: I wonder if she's related to Andy somehow…

(All eyes fall to Andy.)


Relena: (Hearts appear in her eyes) Hero, I knew you loved me!

Hero: Mission…failed?

Relena: Oh HERO! (Runs towards him) I love you too!

Hero: (Gets psycho look) Mission…FAILED?!

Duo: (Scared) Uh…Hero?

Serena: (Backs away) Is he okay?

Everyone: (Stares and backs away)

Relena: (Glomps Hero)


Relena: (Gets blasted to smithereens by the explosion)

Everyone: (Stares)

(In the announcer's box…)

Starcatcher: (Not surprised at all) Hey, what do you know…I was right…now isn't that funny? Hahaha… (Pause) Now I believe that the three of you owe me $10.

Kat: Aww man!

Sparky: How did she know?

Vulpes: She's the author…(mysteriously) she knows everything…

Blade: (Shakes head) I should have already seen this coming…

(In the audience…)

Serena: Oh well…my turn! (Faces Videl)

Videl: You can't kill me, you bitch!

Serena: Oh yeah! Then see if you can handle THIS! (Powers up)

Videl: Huh?

Serena: METEOR!!! (Just then, a meteor crashes through the roof)


(Everything freezes.)

Vulpes: What?

Blade: How was she able to cast the Meteor spell?!

(Everyone stares at Serena.)

Serena: I learned it from my brother, Sephiroth, from Final Fantasy 7.

Blade: Sephiroth is your BROTHER?!

Serena: Yeah…


Serena: Hey! Don't look at me! I'm not the one who came up with this plot!

(Everyone stares at Starcatcher.)

Starcatcher: Oh, come on! There are lots of family relations among these characters!

Blade: *Sigh* I give up! Just…continue…

(Everything unfreezes.)

Videl: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-*SPLAT!* (Gets flattened by the meteor)

ChiChi: NOOOOOOOOOO! MY ONLY DAUGHTER'S DEAD!!! (Receives stares) What?

Starcatcher: See?

Kat: Videl is ChiChi's daughter?

Blade: Who'd have thought?

Vulpes: But…wasn't Videl's father Hercule?

Gohan: But that would mean…OH MY GOD!!! (Looks at ChiChi) YOU HAD AN AFFAIR?!!

ChiChi: Yes…

Gohan: WITH HERCULE?!! (Sees her nod) OH MY GOD! YOU…AND HIM?!

ChiChi: (Nervous) Well…yeah.

Gohan: But that would mean that Videl is…OH MY GOD!!!

Kat: Would you quit saying that?!

Gohan: Sorry…

Goku: I don't get it…

Krillin: (Trying to put it nicely) Uh…well, Goku…ChiChi has been…uh…spending time with another guy.

Goku: What's so bad about that?

Krillin: Uh…

Vegita: JUST SAY IT!

Krillin: Well…uh…you see…uh…

Vegita: Kakarot, your woman was <BEEEEEEEEEEEEEP> with Hercule!

Goku: Sorry, but I didn't get what you said because of that beeping noise.

Krillin: (Whispers it to Goku)

Goku: (Eyes widen) WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!! (Looks at ChiChi) But why?!

ChiChi: Well…there's lots of reasons…he's rich…he's handsome…he saved the world from Cell…

Gohan: Actually, Mom…I'm the one who saved the world from Cell.

Rini: Does the media say that?

Gohan: Uh…no…but-

Rini: The media is always right, so if they say that Hercule saved the world, then it must be true! (Another meteor falls through the roof and lands on her)

Hercule: Yep! I did save the world! (Just then, a rose pierces his heart, killing him)

Darien: (Dressed as Tuxedo Mask) It's wrong to lie about your accomplishments! I am Tuxedo Mask and the truth will be told!

Vulpes: He's baaaaaaaaaaaaaack!

Krillin: Uh…who's the fruity guy in the tuxedo?

Serena: DARIEN!

Darien: Wu-oh!

Serena: (Stands in front of him) HOW DARE YOU COME BACK TRYING TO ACT LIKE A HERO?! You're just a…just a-

(Just then, a laser beam hits Darien, turning him into a fly.)

Serena: A bug?

Goku: How did that happen?

(In the announcer's box…)

Vulpes: (Whistles innocently)

Starcatcher: Vulpes…you wouldn't happen to know how Darien turned into a fly, now would you?

Vulpes: Of course not! (Accidentally drops a device that can change people into bugs or other annoying creatures) Uh…heh heh?

Melvin: (Wakes up) Huh?

(In the audience…)

Serena: (Evilly) Heh heh heh…(Pulls out Lunar Pen and turns it into a fly swatter)

Darien: (A lá The Fly) Hhhhhheeeeeeeeelllllllllpppppp mmmmmmeeeeeeeeeeeee!!! Hhhhhhhhheeeeeeeelllllllllllppppppp mmmmmeeeeeeeee!!!

Serena: (Swats him) Jerk!

Gohan: Whoa!

Serena: That takes care of that! (To Gohan) Sorry about killing your girlfriend…er…I mean sister!

Gohan: Actually, I'm glad you did…

Serena: …

Gohan: …

Serena: …

Gohan: …

Both: (Simultaneously) You wanna do something tonight? Sure! Really? Cool! (Walk away hand in hand as everyone stares)

(In the announcer's box…)

Vulpes: I think it's safe to say that Serena wins…

Blade: Twice in a row too…

Starcatcher: What is this, a soap opera?

(Back in the audience…)


Vegita: You should be ashamed of yourself, woman!

ChiChi: You shouldn't talk Vegita! After all, you had an affair too!

Bulma: (Glares at Vegita) WHAT?!

ChiChi: It's true!

Bulma: And who was it with? Hmm?

ChiChi: With Marron!

Everyone: (Stares)


Vegita: SHE'S LYING!

ChiChi: And they had a son together!

(Let us cut to the announcer's box for a quick moment…)

Blade: Dang…this really IS turning into a soap opera!

Vulpes: They had a son?

Starcatcher: I think I know where this is going…

(Back to the argument…)

Bulma: Really? And who is this son of theirs?

ChiChi: Uh…I can't remember…

Starcatcher: *GASP* I don't believe it!!!

Sparky: What?

Starcatcher: I know who it is!

Sparky: Who?

Starcatcher: Come on…think about it…a boy with the arrogance of Vegita and the stupidity of Marron…

Blade: *GASP!*

Sparky: Huh?

Kat: NO WAY!!!

Sparky: Who is it?!

Starcatcher: Andy…

Melvin: VEGITA'S SON IS ANDY?! Uhn…(Faints again)

Audience: (Stares blankly for a moment before fainting)


Starcatcher: He's also related to Darien and Rini.

Blade: I'm shocked, though I guess I should have already known this…

Kat: But…since Vulpes is Vegita's sister…then…wouldn't that make her Andy's aunt?

Vulpes: (Hangs head) Yes…

Blade: No wonder he never called her a retard!

Sparky: This is just too much for someone like me to take! I'm getting the heck out of here before I loose what's left of my sanity! (Leaves)

Goku: (To ChiChi) We're going to have a talk about this when we get home. (Leaves with ChiChi)

Bulma: (To Vegita) And you're going to be sleeping on the couch for a looong time! (They leave)

Kat: Uh…everyone's leaving so lets just hurry up and end this already!

Vulpes: But first…(pulls out Wing Zero's self-detonation device and pushes the button, causing it to blow up and killing Andy in the process) Mission…completed…

Kat: Someone's been watching too much Gundam Wing lately…

Vulpes: Now where was I…oh yeah! OH MY GOD! ANDY'S DEAD!

Starcatcher: WOO-HOO!

Vulpes: You don't like him very much, do you?

Starcatcher: No freakin DUH!

Blade: Can we go now?

Starcatcher: Sure…okay everyone! That's it for today's episode! Next time, our fight will be Goku VS Superman! You won't want to miss this exciting episode of ANIME DEATHMATCH (echo)!!!

Blade: But you'd better send in reviews…OR ELSE!!!