Rurouni Kenshin Fan Fiction / Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction / Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Nexus Academy ❯ Field Trip ( Chapter 16 )

Field Trip

 

 

 

Disclaimer: I only own the original characters. I do not own characters from TV shows, video games, books, and so on. They are owned by their respective creators.

 

 

It started out as a normal day at Nexus Academy. Then Dean's voice came on over the PA. “Students, today there will be no classes. We will be going on a field trip to Nexus City. Anyone who has a problem with that can take it up with human resources.”

 

“The Nexus has a city?” Davis said in disbelief. “Yep.” Ping said. “You didn't think that the school was the only thing here did you?”

 

“Most of the teachers and a lot of the students were born there.” Pong said. “That's where it's rumored the owner of this school owns his hotel.”

 

“We went on a field trip there last year.” Double D said. “Yeah, the teachers give you these unlimited charge cards and you can do anything you want in the city for the whole day! Remember all the jawbreakers we got last year?”

 

Iso shrugged. “I don't see what the big hairy deal is. The only thing I want is maybe a couple thousand more swords.” “Well, it's a good thing those charge cards are unlimited, cause they've got, like, forty sword stores!”

 

Iso's eyes widened. “With all those swords, I'd be able to match him. I could take on Badel…”

 

 

 

A slightly younger Iso and a slightly less bald Lime walked into a bar. “Are you sure this is the place? An interdimensional bandit wouldn't hang out here, Lime.”

 

“I'm positive.” Lime said. “One of these hoodlums must be Badel. Let's just try and keep low, okay, Iso? Iso?”

 

Iso had climbed up onto a table. “We're looking for a criminal who's wanted dead or alive!” Nearly everyone ran out of the bar. There was only one person left.

 

He had long blonde hair and wore a gray and black hat. His blue robe went down to his knees and he had a big sword on his back. He wore a mask over his mouth. “I'm wanted dead or alive. The name's Badel.”

 

Iso pulled his silver sword out of its sheath and charged at Badel. “Kid, don't hurt yourself.” Badel suddenly vanished and showed up right behind Iso.

 

“If you want a fight, I'll give it to you. Rilelk, combination transformation: Fire, Earth, and Crush: Volcano Broadsword!” His sword suddenly turned into a red-hot broadsword, which he swung at Iso. Iso was sent flying into the wall.

 

“My sword Rilelk is the peak of technology, which I've crammed with my own breed of Elvin magic. It has one hundred swords, which I can mix and match for a total of one thousand blades. Take me on some other time, when you have enough swords to stand up to me.”

 

Iso got up angrily. “You'll see. Some day we'll flash back to this moment in italics and you'll see! You'll see! You'll see!”

 

 

 

“You'll see!” Iso yelled while he was on the bus. “You'll see! You'll see!” “Are you having that flash-back again?” Lime asked.

 

The bus stopped and everyone got off. The Nexus City was huge, consisting of every store imaginable. Iso grabbed Lime and Davis and ran off.

 

“I'm going to buy swords.” He said. “You two are gonna carry them for me and be my pack-mules!” “We may be pack-mules, Iso,” Davis said angrily, “but you are a jack—“ “Davis!” Lime said. “You know the author doesn't allow language like that in his fan fics!”

 

 

 

“This is sweet!' Jaden said. “I wonder where we can find anyone to duel…” “Is that all you think about?” Syrus asked. “Dueling?” “Nope. Sometimes I think about who I'm dueling.”

 

“If you're looking for someone to take on,” Enforcer said as he suddenly appeared behind them, “go to the Koala Hotel. They hold matches there regularly.”

 

“Really?” Jaden asked. Enforcer had already left. “What a freak.” Syrus said. “What did you say?” Enforcer asked. “Nothing!”

 

 

 

“I'm looking to buy a sword.” Iso said as he entered a small shop called Spider's Swords.

 

“Pretty much anyone who comes here is, sir.” Speyeder, the sales clerk and owner, said. He was dressed in all black and had a mechanical backpack with eight robotic spider legs coming out of it.

 

“Hey, you're that guy the owner of the hotel across the street told me about!” He said. “Sorry, I can't sell you nothing.”

 

“What?!” Iso said. “If this is halfling segregation, I swear I will—wait. Was the owner of this hotel a hyper, annoying, manic kid with a giant battle ax?”

 

“Yep.” Speyeder said. “And did this ax have a face carved on the bottom of the hilt?” “Yep again. He told me not to sell you any swords unless you get a student at Nexus Academy to fight him. Said that to every store owner in the city.”

 

Iso growled. “That koala's been a pain in my side for far too long! If he wants a fight, I've got just the student to fight him.”

 

 

 

“Welcome to the Koala Hotel. My name is Lord Destruction. How may I be of service to you?” The boy said. He was dressed as a bellhop but the stupid hat didn't cover his messy hair.

 

“I'm here to duel!” Jaden said. “Sorry!” Lord Destruction said. “But to be able to duel Raging Koala, you'll need to beat me in a fight!”

 

“But I don't fight, I duel.” Jaden said. “Oh. Well then, in order to go through, um… I have to beat me in a fight!”

 

Suddenly, an invisible force punched LD in the stomach, gave him an uppercut, kneed him in the place you don't want to be kneed, then picked him up by his pants and threw him away.

 

“You fight well, Jaden.” Lord Destruction said. “Enter, if you dare.” Jaden and Syrus both walked into the elevator.

 

“That was… stupid.” Jaden said. “You said it!” Another boy in a bellhop outfit said. This one had messy black hair, wore glasses, and had a sword on his back.

 

“I'm the owner of this hotel's not-so-evil clone, Insane Koala!” He said. “To get to Raging Koala, you'll have to answer my… Hyper Happy Trivia Challenge!” Music suddenly began playing and buzzers popped up in front of Jaden and Syrus.

 

“Okay. Question One: Zatch is currently at the yellowtail store. What song is going through his head?”

 

“The Yellowtail song?” Jaden guessed. “Incorrection!” Insane Koala said. “Syrus?” “Um… `Camptown Races?'”

 

“Let's check!” A TV screen suddenly appeared, showing Zatch eating yellowtail and humming `Camptown Races'.

 

“Next Question: If a train A leaves Boston going at 100 mph and train B leaves Hawaii to go to an `All That' convention while traveling faster than the speed of light, name one US president.”

 

“What?” Jaden asked. “Wrongamatic!” Insane Koala said. “The answer is Trains don't leave Hawaii! Syrus, do you have an answer?”

 

“Um… trains don't leave Hawaii?” Syrus said. “Amazing! Clearly, this boy is a genius.” “You just said the answer!” Jaden yelled. “That's no excuse.

 

“Okay, question number 4289-4288x3+6x5-42: Why does this elevator only have a down button?”

 

“Because all the floors are on the basement?” Jaden guessed. “No!” Insane Koala said. “I'll give you a hint: this elevator leads straight to Heck!”

 

“What?!” Syrus said. The elevator suddenly came to a stop. Outside the door was a happy springtime meadow with ponies, flowers, and free ice cream.

 

“Are you sure this is Heck?” Jaden asked. “Yup. Davy Jones's been doing a lot of redecorating lately.”

 

A pillar of flame suddenly shot out of the ground and when the flames cleared a man in a dark executioner outfit was standing there.

 

“I am Davy Jones' henchman,” the man said, “the evil bringer of doom and unpleasant awkwardness. I am the dark lord of terror known only as: Peaches.”

 

“Your name is Peaches?” Syrus asked. “Yeah. YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT?” “No!” Syrus said. “Peaches is a wonderful name! I wish I was named Peaches!”

 

 

 

Meanwhile, Iso was suffering from bigger problems. He was dragging Zolo (whom he had found unconscious at a local bar) around one of the endless hallways of the Koala Hotel. Lime and Davis were following him.

 

“Lord Destruction told us that the battle arena was through this door.” Iso said. He opened the door and saw something he'd hoped he'd never se again. “Oh, dear lord. It's… it's… MR. BILL LICKINGS!”

 

A man in an electric blue tuxedo and obviously fake Elvis wig was standing behind a podium. “That's right, Iso, and you're on the set of America's least favorite game show… YOU CAN'T WIN! Starring me, Mr. Bill Lickings!”

 

Buzzers appeared in front of Iso, Davis, and Lime. “Our contestants today hail from the beautiful planet of Oceanus! One's a clone, one's a merfolk halfling, and one's a huge bounty hunter fanatic, give it up for Iso, Lime, and Davis!”

 

The audience cheered. “When did those people get here?” Lime asked.

 

“Okay, let's start the first round.” Bill said. “Who discovered George Washington?”

 

“Who the crap's George Washington?” Lime asked. “I'm sorry, that's wrong! This was a trick question: bacon ain't no fruit!

 

“Okay, next question: Hippo potato dip ranch-style Abe Lincoln boy band doctor?” Davis' mouth hung open. “I don't know, meatloaf?”

 

“Wrong!” Bill said. “The correct answer was meatloaf!” “That's what I said!” “Don't blame me for your failure!”

 

“Okay, this is getting annoying.” Iso said. He took out the Scimitar of the Crescent Moon and ran towards Bill. “Red Hot Plunge!” His sword went right through Bill's tuxedo in a blaze of flames.

 

“Dude, you just killed the talk show host.” Davis said. “Don't worry. Knowing Raging Koala, he won't stay dead long. Now let's get going.” The group ran out of the game-show room as fast as they could.

 

 

 

A door opened and Jaden, Syrus, and Peaches walked in. Jaden and Syrus were wearing “Tour de Heck” t-shirts.

 

“Thanks for the tour Peaches!” Syrus said. “No problem. By the way, the money you spent on those t-shirts will go to `Find a cure for stupidity' fund.” He gave an evil laugh and disappeared.

 

“Congratulations!” A voice said. A man stepped out from the shadows. “The name's Donny Osmand! Of the Osmand family.”

 

“Oh, no!” Jaden said. “Anybody but him! Anybody but him!” “Glad to see you'd like anyone as your dueling opponent!” Donny said with his usual happiness.

 

“Wait… I'm dueling you?” “That's right, Jaden!” Donny took out a duel disc and put a deck inside.

 

“Okay. Get your game on.” “Nice catchphrase! I want a catchphrase!” He drew his cards and smiled. (What a surprise.)

 

“Okay.” Donny drew his sixth card. “Hmm… I think I'll play two cards face-down and summon my Decayed Commander!” A samurai zombie appeared holding his sword ready. (1000/1500)

 

“However, the fun won't stop there! With my Decayed Commander's special effect, I can summon one Zombie Tiger from my hand!” A giant mummified cat appeared next to the commander. (1400/1600)

 

“And now, because he's a Union monster, I can equip my Zombie Tiger to Decayed Commander to increase his attack and defense by a full 500!” Donny moved Zombie Tiger to the magic and trap zone. Decayed Commander on the field jumped onto his cat and waved his sword menacingly. (1500/2000)

 

“Are you done yet?” Jaden asked. “Hold on.” Donny said. He suddenly did a little tap-dance number. “Okay, I'm done.”

 

“'Bout time.” Jaden drew his card. “Okay! I'll summon the Elemental Hero Bubbleman in attack mode!” A man in a suit of high-tech armor (and a cape) appeared pointing a gun at Decayed Commander. (800/1200)

 

“And with his special effect, if he's the only monster I have out when he's summoned, I get to draw two more cards!” He smiled. “And here's one of `em: Skyscraper!”

 

He put a card in the field zone and tall buildings popped up everywhere. “Ohh. Pretty lights.” Donny said. “Uh… right.” Jaden said. “Anyway, if an Elemental Hero attacks a stronger monster when Skyscraper's on the field, he gains 1000 extra attack points!”

 

“Wow! That's impressive!” Donny said. “Too bad it'll go to waste when I activate my trap card Astral Barrier!” One of his trap cards activated, the picture showing a spirit taking a blast of energy while defending a soldier.

 

“Now, if your monster attacks my monster, I can make it a direct attack on my life points!” “Okay, but I'm not done yet!” Jaden said. “I'll equip Bubbleman with the equip card Bubble Blaster!”

 

Bubbleman was suddenly holding a bazooka with a ten-gallon water bottle on top. “Now my Bubbleman's attack goes up 800, and if he ever gets beaten, Bubble Blaster will take the shot for him!”

 

Bubbleman pointed his Bubble Blaster right at Decayed Commander. “Now, attack! Bubble Burst Barrage!” Bubbleman's Bubble Blaster shot right at Decayed Commander.

 

“I'll use Astral Barrier's special effect!” Donny said. “Now, normally, your attack would become a direct one instead. But I have another trap card! It's called Spirit Barrier!” The blast changed direction and headed right for Johnny.

 

Suddenly, a force field appeared and shielded Johnny from the attack. “Thanks to Spirit Barrier, I don't take any battle damage if I have a monster out. Cool, huh?”

 

“Yeah, it's pretty sweet.” Jaden said. “But I'm going to find a way to break your barriers. I'll just throw down some face-downs and let you go next.”

 

 

 

Zolo had woken up after they had escaped You Can't Win. Iso had explained everything to him. “No problem.” Zolo said. “I can beat this Raging Koala guy.”

 

“Oh, puh-leez.” A voice said. Everyone turned to see a giant fighting ring with a boy standing in the center who looked just like Insane Koala except with a battle-ax instead of a sword.

 

“I'm Raging Koala.” The boy said. “I'll be the one fighting the four of you.” Insane Koala, Lord Destruction, and Peaches all appeared behind him.

 

“Okay.” Davis said. “I guess I'll go first.” Insane Koala jumped into the ring. “Prepare to feel the wrath of my blade!” He pulled the sword and sheath off his back. Written on the sheath was `Singing Sword.'

 

Davis read the sheath and smiled. “A sword that'll singe my flesh, eh? I'll have to look out for that.” He ran up and grabbed the Singing Sword.

 

“Now prepare to face your own Singing Sword!” He drew the sword and saw immediately that it had a mouth. “Start spreading the news.” The sword sang. “I'm leaving today.”

 

Davis suddenly found himself singing along. “I want to be a part of it, in old New York! If I can make it there, I can make it anywhere, it's up to you New York, New York!”

 

Insane Koala ran up and grabbed the sword as it started singing `YMCA'. “Ha! When the sword doth sings thou that doth attacks me shalt sing along! And while thy art singing the incredibly catchy YMCA song, thou shalt not be able to move!”

 

“What he say?” Iso asked. “I said he won't be able to move while he sings along. Leaving me time to use my special technique!” He ran forward and put his right index finger up Davis' nostril.

 

As soon as his finger entered Davis' nose he fell asleep. Insane Koala sheathed his sword and smiled. “Good night children, everywhere.”

 

 

 

“I guess it's my move!” Donny said as he drew a card. “Let's see… I think I'll summon Getsu Fuhma to the field in attack mode!” A female samurai with a creepy third eye appeared next to Decayed Commander. (1700/1200)

 

“Now, Getsu Fuhma, attack Bubbleman with Spirit Purge!” Getsu Fuhma's sword began glowing a bright blue as it leaped forward and sliced at Bubbleman.

 

“I activate Bubble Blaster's special ability!” Jaden said. “See, if Bubbleman would normally be destroyed in battle, I can sacrifice my Blaster to make sure he's the one who won't get popped!”

 

Bubbleman's weapon burst into hundreds of pieces when Getsu's sword hit. “But I'm not done there!” Donny said. “Now I'll attack with Decayed Commander! Go, Grave Slasher!”

 

Decayed Commander rode up on Zombie Tiger and sliced Bubbleman into little pieces you could shove into ice-cube trays and use to cool your non-alcoholic drinks. (LP: 3300)

 

“I activate my trap, A Hero Emerges!” Jaden said triumphantly. “Now you choose a card from my hand, and if it's a monster, I summon it to the field!”

 

“Yay! I love guessing games!” Donny said. “Let's see… no, not that one… hmm… I wonder…” “Dude, I only have one card!” Jaden said. “So come on out Elemental Hero… Speedman!”

 

“Speedman?!” Syrus asked. “That isn't one of your cards! That's just one of the cards the author makes up and says are from another dimension!”

 

“I know.” Jaden said. “I decided the best thing to do at the Nexus was buy cards! So, anyway, come on out Elemental Hero Speedman!”

 

A man in a high-tech, blue full-body suit with a helmet that covered his whole face appeared. (1500/600) “And Speedman's special ability lets me summon Speed Tokens to all of my empty monster spaces!” Speedman ran to the empty spaces and left an afterimage of himself there. (600/600)

 

“Now it's my turn, and I'll play a spell card!” Jaden said. “It's called Speed Swarm!” The spell card showed roughly about a hundred Speedmen crashing on top of Mokey Mokey. “With this card, if I sacrifice all of my Speed Tokens, I can destroy all cards on your side of the field!”

 

The Speed Tokens suddenly multiplied and came crashing down on Donny's cards. When the smoke cleared, all that was left was one very confused Donny.

 

“Okay, now it's Speedman's turn!” Jaden said. “Now attack, with Speed Cyclone!” Speedman started spinning real fast and created a mini-cyclone around him. The cyclone flew right towards Donny. (LP: 2500) “Your move, peppy!”

 

 

 

“Okay, let's do dis.” Lord Destruction said. “Let me at him!” Lime said as he jumped in the ring.

 

“Lime, remember his greatest weakness!” Iso said. “He's an idiot!” Lime nodded.

 

“Okay, this is when I hit him, right?” Lord Destruction asked. “Hey, um… you have something on your shirt.” Lime said.

 

Lord Destruction started screaming. “Get it off!” Trying to kill whatever it was he had on his shirt, he grabbed a knife and stabbed at his chest. Then, he died.

 

“Cool, I made him kill himself!” Lime said. “Who'd you kill?” Lord Destruction asked.

 

“Oh yeah, he comes back whenever he's killed.” Iso said. “I must have forgotten to mention that.”

 

Lord Destruction pulled a remote control out of his pocket. “Okay, now you will face my latest evil device!” He pushed the button. “ARISE, MY EVIL!”

 

The set of `American Idol' popped out of the ground with Lime on center stage. The judge group was the usual roster except instead of Randy, they had Lord Destruction.

 

“Okay, it's your turn to sing!” Brian said. “Um… okay.” Lime said nervously. “Um… A cloud appears above your head. A beam of light comes—“

 

“Enough!” Lord Destruction yelled. “I hereby decree that you lose!” He clapped his hands twice and began shaking them at Lime.

 

“You can't do that.” Brian said. “The other judges have to agree.” “No, this guy's right.” Paula said. “Yeah, he sucks.” Simon said.

 

“Okay, Lime lost the fight!” Raging Koala said. “What!?” Lime said. “That wasn't the fight!” “Tough pinkies!” Raging Koala said.

 

 

 

“My move!” Donny said in a singsong voice. “I'll use Monster Reborn to bring back Getsu Fuhma!” The samurai appeared as creepy-third-eyed as ever. “Next, at the cost of 800 life points, I can play Premature Burial to bring back Zombie Tiger!” The tiger jumped out of the ground, as if it had been there all along. (LP: 1700)

 

“Now, I'll sacrifice them both!” Donny said. “To bring out Sanga of the Thunder!” The familiar monster with no legs appeared as the other two monsters disappeared. (2600/2200)

 

“Okay!” Donny said. “It's your move-a-rooni!” “Okay, never say `move-a-rooni' ever.” Jaden said as he drew a card.

 

“Sweet! I'll play Polymerization!” Jaden played the familiar card with the picture of two monsters being fused together. “Now I'll fuse my Elemental Heroes Sparkman and Speedman to create the Elemental Hero Light Speedman!”

 

Sparkman and Speedman mixed into each other, and then there was a bright light. Standing in the place of Elemental Hero Speedman was a new monster wearing a golden version of Speedman's suit, only golden and with a blue half-sphere on his chest. The helmet only covered the upper half of his face, so a cocky smile could be seen. (2500/1900)

 

“And now check out his special effect!” Jaden said. “Once, during each of our turns, by discarding one card from my hand that's an Elemental Hero I can send one card on the field to the owner's hand!

 

“So now…” Jaden discarded Elemental Hero Wildheart from his hand. “Light speed teleport!”

 

Light Speedman disappeared and reappeared behind Sanga of the Thunder. He put his hand on Sanga's back and the two disappeared. Then, Light Speedman reappeared on Jaden's side of the field.

 

“And now for his attack.” Jaden said. “Go, Instant Justice!” Light Speedman seemed to flicker for a moment. Then, in an instant, Donny's life points plummeted to zero.

 

“Okey-dokey, Mr. Winner!” Donny said. “I guess you can leave now. But do I get a hug first?” “No.” “A high-five?” “Uh-uh.” “A handshake?” “Nope.”

 

Donny shrugged. “Well, then, I guess you're off!” Jaden and Syrus were sent flying by a spring in the floor. “Nice kids. It's a shame they're going to have to face a master of evil before mid-terms.”

 

 

 

“Okay, this is the last fight.” Raging Koala said. After an embarrassing defeat at the hands of Peaches, Iso was drenched in Lucky Charms, milk, orange juice, and lumberjack. (Let's just leave it to the imagination how he got drenched in lumberjack.)

 

Raging Koala and Zolo both stepped into the ring. “Don't worry!” Iso said. “He's weaker than he looks… unless he's not as weak as he looks.”

 

Zolo raised an eyebrow in confusion, and didn't notice Raging Koala take out his battle-ax with a face carved into the bottom of the hilt.

 

“Oh, no!” Iso said. “Zolo, don't let him use his—“ It was too late. The eyes on the face opened and its mouth said a horrible phrase, which has been known to drive men mad. “What kind of drink do idiots like? So-duh!”

 

Zolo suddenly began foaming at the mouth. He fell down on the ground and began writhing in agony. “The Axe of Terrible Puns!” Iso said in fear. “It's rotting his brain!”

 

“Why didn't the jellyfish cross the road? It didn't have the backbone!” Zolo suddenly went limp.

 

“Nothing personal Zolo, but I'm going to have to kill you.” Raging Koala lifted his axe up and started bringing it down towards Zolo's head and—

 

“ANSWER YOUR CELL PHONE! ANSWER YOUR CELL PHONE!” Raging Koala's personalized ring tone said. He grabbed his phone. “Guys! I just got an improperly spelled text message from Strong Bad!”

 

Raging Koala put his axe back on his back. “Sorry!” He said. “I have to go annoy someone else to the point of no sanity. Just go back up-town and buy stuff!” Iso and company suddenly fell down a trap hole.

 

 

 

Iso and Lime popped up in front of the sword shop. “I—I don't get it.” Lime said. “We fell down!” Lime walked off and started babbling.

 

Iso ran into the shop and, five minutes later, got kicked out. He held a green katana that was pieces of circuitry running on its hilt. The name `Tidal Surge' was written on the hilt.

 

“Get out of here!” Speyeder yelled. “We're closing and you have to get back to school!”

 

Iso saw the bus pull up in front of him. Enforcer was driving. “Get in, Iso. The field trip's over.”

 

Iso's eyes were on fire. “What?!” He said. “I wasted all of that time in Raging Koala's hotel?!” He walked onto the bus angrily.

 

 

 

Badel was sitting in a large office. With him was Professor Rose, Raging Koala, and a fourth person.

 

“So, Mr.…” Raging Koala was trying to remember his name. Then he remembered he'd never been told.

 

“Their performance was good.” The man said. “I've been keeping my eye on the others with the tournament, You is keeping his eye on the hand-picked Raven Dormers, and the Royal Flush Spies are… well, spying.”

 

“And I've got Sasuke looking for that library.” Rose said. “When He shows up—“ “Rose, don't be such a coward.” Badel said. “Call him by his name: Poisonheart.”

 

 

 

Next time: Nexus Academy Grande Prix: End of Preliminaries?!