Rurouni Kenshin Fan Fiction ❯ Oblivion ❯ Chapter 5

Standard disclaimers apply. Like I always say… Me broke, don't sue! @_@;;

~Inx's!!~

Anonymous: Thanks if you're gonna put this on your fav list… I hope you know what you're doin'… hehe! ^_^

Kamimura Kaoru: Yup, here's the update you want! Enjoy! Ja!

Lynne Katrea: You haven't given me enough Jelly Beans! I still don't have that much inspiration! ::sniffs:: Or maybe I'm overdosed. @_@x ENJOY!! Thank you!!

omochi: Yup, its emotional torture for them alright! I hope I can still pass your standards… hehe! Thank you! ^_^

LittleDragon5: It will work out-I promise. Thank you!

silvertenshi: Thanks! I really do appreciate it. ^_^

Skipper: About Kaoru getting back her memory, I think it'll not happen just as yet. There's still a lot that would just have to happen in order for her to get back to herself. But don't worry, I'll make it enjoyable. Just stick it out with me, 'kei? Thank you SO much! ^_^

anya: How did I come up with this? Uhm… I still don't know actually! ^_^;; But I'm really glad you like it! Gracias!

Hitokiri Hatokou: Ooops! Not just yet honey! It will really take a little longer before Kaoru gets back to herself… so many things yet to happen… so many realizations yet to be discovered… so many deep feelings yet to be spoken out… you get the picture? Thanks for still hanging out. JA! :)))

MidnightStar: Ha-ha! Got me there! Here's the next chap! Hope you enjoy! ^_^

Saby-chan: You reviewed the preceding chaps, gosh! Haha! Anyways, thank you. I'll try to answer bit by bit those questions and reactions you left me, promise. Thanks for the support! Enjoy! ^_^

nemo: Yup, that's the harsh realities of life. You never know what will happen next. I made Kaoru make the others feel what they made her feel-LOVED. It made her think that she may really be that special, that's why she feels she has to make amends. Thanks for hanging out! ^_^

Willow: Nope, she's not scared of him coz of Battousai… its just that she feels this unusual 'depression' upon seeing him. I'll try to explain it on the fic. THANKS SO MUCH!!

SakuraCherryBlossom: No prob! Am I that mean to K&K? ::grins:: I don't think so. I just try to develop their feelings to each other more... a thing that never happened during the course of the anime. I feel frustrated about that, ya know! Kenshin is just so dense! Grr!

Pia-san: ::bows:: Hai! Hai! Pia-san! Arigatou! I feel quite special for a while there. Thank you for sticking out with me… I hope you won't get bored. I try to lengthen my fic; my mind and heart wants to… but my fingers just won't budge! @_@ Anyway, thanks for the compliment. I'll try to make it as enjoyable as it is like you say. Ganbatte! Ja! ^_^

Tanuki-dono: That's the devil in me! Har-har-har! Ja! '^_^'

gracianeko: Potential?? That's really weird but THANK YOU! I don't know what to say… anyways, really? You're reminded of another fic? I'll try to read that out, if it's a K&K fic, that's for sure! THANK YOU! ^_^

Oh well, so much for the commemoration of 9/11, its really sad indeed. :(((

Good thing I was able to get back here in time coz the security in the airport, especially in N.Y. were really... TIGHT. I mean it. My bag and box were even ripped just to be checked in Kennedy Airport! Goodness! My mum was furious because the stuffs and food I took along with me from Manila almost got spoiled coz of what they did! Goodbye $95.00! ^_^;;

I lost my concentration these past few days and I haven't got time to sit in front of my PC and write. Oh well, 'nuff said… ^_^

"Oblivion"

Chapter Five:

Kenshin observed Kaoru from under his bangs. He could see her dainty fingers playing with the chopsticks and seldom put something in her mouth to eat. She is much more occupied with listening to the cheerful stories of Misao and Okina. Nodding in enjoyment at almost everything they impart, he saw she barely touched her food.

Her smiles were still that genuine, her chuckles and laugh contagious. Who would ever think Kaoru has amnesia? No one could ever tell it differently. Because she tries to be well, even if she's not at all.

But he can.

Kaoru would always put food in their plate before she can even settle in her place next to him to eat. She makes it sure Yahiko and Sano has enough and equal rice balls in their plates before she sits. Water or even sake was no problem for them once Kaoru had helped prepare dinner. Everything was complete; all you have to do is eat.

Kenshin sighed. He misses their Kaoru… his Kaoru in particular.

While for him, he remembers, Kaoru would put all his favorite vegetables in his plate. He would refrain from all that was put in but Kaoru would just smile at him disarmingly and persuade him to eat.

He misses the way she gently puts sake in his cup, the way she charmingly put extra rice balls in his plate, and helps him clean the dishes after.

After dinner they would settle at the porch and talk endlessly until she excuses herself to finally retreat in her room.

Even if he does feel sleepy exactly after dinner, he keeps himself awake just to join Kaoru in their night talks. After he has been assured that she and Yahiko has finally slept, only then that he will also.

Kenshin closed his eyes for a moment and snapped it open.

He felt his heart ache upon seeing a much different Kaoru next to him: a timid, reserved and unusually 'quieter' one.

Though many would like her to be like that, he knows Sano, Yahiko and the others would still prefer the 'Kaoru' they always knew.

"Oi Kenshin," Sano mused from his left. "Are you going to just stare at Jou-chan for the whole dinner or do you feel like eating yourself?"

Kenshin felt his face warm. Was he been looking at Kaoru for that long?

He shook his head while collecting his thoughts. "Iie Sano. I was just…"

"Uh-huh?" the ex-street fighter disbelievingly said. "I have been observing you since Jou-chan came in. You have been staring at her the whole time!"

"Sshh Sano," Kenshin put a finger in his mouth signaling Sano to keep his voice low. Good thing they were not heard by the others for they were busy talking amongst themselves. "I was just feeling different towards her…"

"Why? You're not used to her not attending to your dinner like she usually does?" Sano teased.

"N-not that Sano…"

"Oh c'mon Kenshin! Its too obvious you miss her care for you, dammit! Yahiko and I feel the same… and I guess its harder for you since its you she's most inclined to," Sano said.

Kenshin felt useless to argue. "You're right. I guess I just felt used to Kaoru always doing things for us especially dinner. Its hard, that it is," he felt a lump in his throat.

Sano chewed on a fishbone and began to gargle his sake. Everyone turned to him.

"Sanosuke, its not polite to gargle sake you know," Megumi commented. "Have you got some manners?"

"Yeah! Its time you finally have one," Misao seconded.

Sano glanced at Kaoru who was just staring at him. Everybody fixed their eyes on her, as if expecting her to say something. All of them know very well how Kaoru loathed that mannerism of Sano. They expected her to throw something at him or whatever…

Kaoru looked at their waiting faces.

Am I supposed to say something?

She looked at the one they call Kenshin; she could see something in them. Was that… hope? Was he hoping she's say or react something?

She clenched her fists as she tried to sort her memory for anything that she was supposed to do. Nothing. Her mind was blank.

I-I can't remember anything…!

Her head began to ache but she didn't mind.

She held her head and tried again.

Again, nothing flashed in her mind. Not even a fake imagination.

Finally, with downcast eyes, "I'm s-sorry…" her voice cracked.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

Why can't I remember?

Who am I to them?

What am I to them?

Kaoru's mind was plagued by questions when she was again alone in bed. Misao and Megumi helped her get back to her room soon after that event about Sano. How she wished she knows what was in their minds… she could see it in their eyes, they were hoping that somehow she remembers anything.

But I can't…

Kaoru felt her eyes began to moisten again. How many times had she cried in frustration everytime she was alone in her room? She did not want them to worry at the bit least. She thinks how special 'that Kaoru' they know must have been… treating her extraordinarily.

And that Kenshin…

She could still remember the way how he looked at her ever since she came to eat dinner with them. His eyes never let go of her, regarding her every move, every stir. She could even tell by his looks he had even been observing how she ate.

She acted as if she didn't know but she knows HE WAS looking at her.

She felt as if her heart jumped.

Oh my, she clasped her hands against her chest. What's this I feel? Why can't I forget those eyes? Why does he look at me like that?

A tear slipped on her cheek.

Kaoru didn't even bother to brush the wetness from her face.

Something's wrong… I have to know. I feel strange towards Kenshin. Why? Oh please why…?

She began to wail uncontrollably. Why? Why does it hurt so much? Why do I feel this pain when I think about him? WHY!

Her shoulders shook in incomprehensible anguish she feels. Something inside her fears so much this man…

No!

Kenshin's brows arched upon hearing Kaoru's voice. His instincts raked him as he automatically clutched for his sakkabatou.

He was about to go to his room but felt checking up on Kaoru first. He pressed an ear outside her room's rice paper walls. He could hear a slight rustling of fabric.

She might be having a hard time sleeping… he thought.

But he was startled when he heard her soft cry.

He slid the shoji door open and settled his sight around the dark room looking for intruders. When he didn't find any, he was surprised when he saw frightened eyes gazing at him in shock from the futon.

"K-kaoru-dono, gomen…" he apologized.

Kaoru gave him no answer. Instead, she just continued to look at him.

Certain there was no one inside her room, Kenshin bowed his head slightly and informed her of his retreat. "I'll leave you now…"

"Wait!"

Kenshin was surprised. "K-kaoru-dono…?"

"I said wait," she repeated.

He turned around and found Kaoru lighting the lamp near her futon.

"Are you going to bed now?"

"Why? Do you need anything? Is something wrong? I'll go call Megumi-dono…"

Kaoru gave him a small smile, "No… please. I just want to talk."

"Talk?"

"H-hai…" she said shyly. "If its just okay. But if you're already sleepy then…" Kaoru stated.

"Its alright. I can stay for as long as you like, Kaoru," Kenshin said.

Kaoru motioned him to sit beside her bed. She suddenly felt her cheeks redden when she realized she was just in her thin yukata. She gripped her blanket and covered the front of her body.

"Kaoru?"

"Hmm…?"

"Have you been crying?"

Kaoru was startled from his query. She instantly brushed her eyelids with her fingers and found them still wet from her bawl a while ago.

"N-no. I was just…"

"You were," Kenshin affirmed. He could tell from the redness of her eyes that she has been crying. And the whimper he heard outside came from her.

"Why? Do you feel alright?"

Kaoru nodded. "Yes, I' am alright. I don't feel any headaches now. Its just that," she paused feeling awkward to say that it is him who makes her feel strange.

"That…?"

Kaoru sighed. She blinked and looked at Kenshin's eyes for a moment.

"Tell me… Kenshin, right?"

He saw a little spark of hurt in his eyes but nevertheless he nodded.

"… tell me about me."

"Huh?" Kenshin was stunned. He never thought she would ask him something like that. He felt his heart twitch in sadness because he unanticipated this. As much as possible he did not want to engage in this kind of talk with Kaoru because it hurts him so much. Of all the people in the Aoiya, why must it be him?

"Tell me… please."

Kenshin felt something in his throat as if urging him not to say anything. "Kaoru…"

He saw her pleading eyes staring directly at him. Please don't make me do this…

Kaoru noticed the hesitation from his manners. And she could feel something strange from his movements, as if he doesn't want to talk about 'her'. She regarded him carefully and saw the distress dancing in those amber orbs.

"Kenshin?"

He looked at her instantly.

She placed her hand atop his. Smiling slightly, she spoke to him. "Its alright if you don't want to talk. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have been tucking you into talking when I don't know a bit what is it you have been going through."

Kenshin was dumb-spoken at that moment. He looked at her ivory white hand on top of his. How he wanted to hold them the way he did before when they were still in Tokyo. Those chaste touches, those intimate gestures that made them feel special to each other… how he missed her.

"Kenshin…?"

He met Kaoru's eyes saw how lovely they still are. Her eyes shone like the brilliance of sapphires against the light of the lamp.

His heart twanged in melancholy. He wanted his peace back, the peace he had found in the Kamiya dojo. The contentment in living, the tranquil and serene life he had in Tokyo… the soothing comfort of his friends, the 'family' he now considered.

His fight with Shishio had brought back him nightmares he had lost for a while. But now it has come back… in the form of Kaoru's amnesia.

He want his comfort back…

His solace…

His calm…

And no doubt it is Kaoru.

Kaoru seemed to understand what he was feeling at that moment. She offered him console, open arms. Kenshin embraced her suddenly and closed his eyes, relishing the relief and succor he longed for since he came from Shishio.

The relief he anticipated only Kaoru could give.

He hugged her tight, never wanting to let go.

He smelled the scent of jasmine, the only thing he could never mistaken as her mark that further cradled away the stress and apprehension he feels.

"You came back… no matter how close you were to Battousai, you were still Kenshin… don't go… please…"

Her words rang in his ears. He released her at that instant and found her moaning uncontrollably.

Kenshin's eyes were wide. He couldn't believe what she had just said.

Kaoru raised her look. Looking distraught and confused, in between whimpers, she asked him.

"K-kenshin…" she sobbed. "W-what's happen-ing to m-me?"

There ya go! Hope you like it! Remember: More reviews, the faster updates! Ja! ^_^