Rurouni Kenshin Fan Fiction ❯ Outpour of Rain ❯ Pitiful rain ( Chapter 1 )

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Disclaimer: Rurouni Kenshin is not mine, but I really wish it were. I'm merely borrowing it to satisfy the needs of my writing hands and my thinking mind.

Reminder: Though this is not my first attempt at writing fic, this is the first time I actually posted it. All the fictions I had been doing before were either not finished or were shamefully disposed off for lack of better theme and idea management. I hope you get along well with my fic and sorry for making our beloved Kenshin quite not himself in the first few chapters. I promise to deliver him in a nicer manner in the upcoming chapters. Thank you!

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Chapter One: pitiful rain

Rainy nights are long

I tried to escape from it

I seek for shelter; I seek for cure

From the sheer pain

Of being lost in a white oblivion

Rain fell that night. And it was all the motivation she needed.

Sleep doesn't want to claim her, and it was already giving her the headaches. She had been crying a great deal already and she wondered at how naïve Sleep could be. She should've been asleep by now, considering the torments her eyes, her body, her poor little soul had gone through. Yet she was wide-awake.

She got up from her cold futon and grabbed her robe from the clothes rack. Her head and heart felt heavy. She needed rest, yet she couldn't have it. Her eyes are all sore from crying, bulging with yet to be shed tears.

She silently traversed the hall and found herself in the front porch, silently craving to be a raindrop that when once poured to the ground would disappear, never to be seen again, never to be remembered. Her eyes fell on the lone star up in the clouded zenith. It was dazzling, so beautiful, so unlike her.

She crept her way towards the porch's edge, sat there and held her robe tighter around her skinny body. Where is he now, is he already asleep? Questions filled the haziness of her mind and shattered it to million pieces. She could die this instant, she could tore her heart out, kill herself right at the very moment, for at the least, she is no one, a nobody.

Silence besieged her slowly and made her feel cold. The hem of her robe is quite clammy, being exposed to the hurting rain for fairly some time.

"Why are you still awake?"

Came the question.

She was petrified at the sound of the familiar voice; she hadn't been able to speak for quite a while. She heard the query being repeated and with that came the wakefulness of her being.

"Why are you still awake?"

She turned her head to face him, got up in surprise and straightened her wet robe. "I…I-the rain-I can't sleep," she managed to speak.

"It's cold here, you must go back inside," his face was stiff, his voice expressionless yet hard. He noticed the obvious reddening of her eyes, and he quickly told himself about the reason.

"I'm not sleepy," her voice was shaky, afraid that one wrong word would send him back to where he came, that one wrong word would made him leave her alone again.

"Why?" he inquired, quite aware of what was the reason for her over wakefulness, and for the reddening of her eyes.

She swallowed the threatening lump forming in her throat, "are you going to go with her?"

"What was that supposed to do with you?"

"I am…I…Oh Kenshin…can't you see, I do not want-listen-I don't want you to go, you would take my life away from me," she doesn't know why she told him that, she could just simply say that it has nothing to do with her.

"I love her," he professed, without much thought though. He inched away from her and realized belatedly that tears had started to accumulate in her eyes; ready to pour again just like they had did before. It would rain.

"But…" she walked towards him, with the hurt eyes of someone considered dead, "but you told me you love me, Kenshin…you promised me."

"I was wrong," was his answer.

It struck her like lightning and shattered her into several used pieces. She was pained, grieved. She laughed nervously, trying hard to relieve the tension that was slowly building between them, trying with all her might to break the wall of forgetfulness that thwarts her from coming into closer contact with him.

He was hers. She was well aware of that.

"Kenshin…marriage. You promised me that right," she laughed again, hoping that everything would come back, hoping that pieces would become whole, "You told me that you would marry me…we would have children, children so many that we would not be able to remember all their names…Kenshin where is that promise?" she spoke in a different way, as if coming out from a reverie that had been once sweet and was now bitter all the same.

"But I love Tomoe, we would be going back to Kyoto. I would leave with her. Forget about me Kaoru. I never," he took in a deep breath, "I never really loved you anyway. I'm sorry."

She released an exasperated and all at once pitiful sigh, "what do you mean?" She smiled, the corners of her mouth giving way to words of regret and pain, "I don't…I don't understand. Kenshin don't joke around please." And her pleas are true, she was already pleading, hoping that this storm would pass and that everything that had taken place would be nothing but a simple nightmare.

"I just pity you," he said with no interest at all, looking at her straight in the eyes, shattering again her already shattered heart. "You were so alone, and you look so dumb."

Her knees began to shake at the insults hurdled at her one by one, she felt so alone that moment as if all the world left her to drown in that unending outpour of rain.

"I just needed a shock-absorber, I missed Tomoe a great deal and you were right there, offering me that ugly heart of yours, and all I needed is to accept it," his words struck the innermost of her core.

Tears streamed down her pale face, and her breathings came in short gasps, in wild hiccups.

"Well, I'd better go, we'll be leaving tomorrow night. With rain or without," he turned to leave and was petrified at the touch of a familiar hand. As if electrified, he felt the surge of memories coming to him, drowning him. And for a split second everything became black. Everything was covered with pain.

She knelt in front of him; it was all the self-loathing she could endure, for she could take no more. Her tears fell like rain that night, she was already tired of crying.

He stood there like a stone, still wallowing in a pool of nostalgia.

"Kenshin, please…do not go…" her words sank in his being and infiltrated his core. She can feel deterioration coming to her like a maddened beast, and she was afraid of it, terrified at the sound of it.

"I do not want you," his words were said with force, stressing at every word, "I do not want you. Leave me." He pulled back his arm compellingly and almost hurdled her to his feet. The sob of someone crying echoed through the halls as again the darkness engulfed him. He felt something painfully familiar scorching the innermost of his heart and he felt his feet dancing in the sheer hotness of flames.

Everything happened in forty winks, and nobody moved a muscle to stop what was happening. They were both petrified for the time being. She was unsure of what she was doing; all she knows is that whatever she did, she did it out of her love for him.

His breaths came in thick, heavy gasps as he felt the pure willingness to be belittled in her lips. His mind was in a quite haphazard state; everything moved so fast. Yet amidst his confused thoughts, he was certain of one thing - he missed kissing her.

She caulked every ounce of her courage just to be able to do this, and now that she was doing it, she doesn't know if this was the right thing to do. She pressed her lips more to his, trying to remember how he did it to her before. She was clutching his nape, wishing to the heavens above to stop the time that they might continue like that forever.

Her kisses were so gentle, so innocent, so warm yet so self-loathing. He felt her shaking; her fingers at his nape were trembling. He wanted to hold her still, to clutch her tightly but that would only destroy the wall he had been building between them - successfully.

Her kisses spelled out her pleas and her cries and she asked herself if he had heard it, if he listened to it with his heart. No he didn't, came the instant response from her mind. The repudiations from his hands were enough to tell her that.

He lifted his hands to push her away, forcefully, shoving her and hurdling her to the ground. He already set his mind to making her forget him, so he raised his hands involuntarily and then came the blinding crimson of blood.

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Notes: So what do you think? I'm not a good storyteller actually. And I am not a grammarian, but I am well aware of what is not grammatically correct. I really do hope you'll all find time to give me reviews I will really appreciate it. I welcome comments and ideas but please remember that I have my own story line and if you do not want my story I'm sorry for not pleasing you. Thanks!

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E-mail me your reviews: sessha1849@yahoo.com

I will be expecting! :b

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Disclaimer: Rurouni Kenshin is not mine, but I really wish it were. I'm merely borrowing it to satisfy the needs of my writing hands and my thinking mind.

Reminder: Though this is not my first attempt at writing fic, this is the first time I actually posted it. All the fictions I had been doing before were either not finished or were shamefully disposed off for lack of better theme and idea management. I hope you get along well with my fic and sorry for making our beloved Kenshin quite not himself in the first few chapters. I promise to deliver him in a nicer manner in the upcoming chapters. Thank you!

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Chapter Two:

Blood trickled from her swollen lip, the impact on her right cheek still lingers.

She touched her lower lip and stared at her crimsoned fingers for quite some time. Her eyes widened loathingly as she realized how shameful her acts had been. She acted like a whore in front of him, and she had been rejected.

"Dammit!" he shouted, vehement rising in his dry throat, "don't do that again. Damn!" He gritted his teeth and breath heavily. He stared daggers at her pleading eyes and with clenched fists, turned his back on her tucked form and walked away.

Gasps and hiccups came in surge. She felt the need for air, and she doesn't know where to get it. Her eyes slowly blurred from the hurting pain from her swollen lip and slowly the world came to her, and darkness engulfed her…

Memories came in fleet, attacking the wary pools of his mind.

He stared at his hand, being reminded of how violent he had treated her. The rain was still mad, clobbering the roof with its winds. And the ear-splitting noise the rain made only added to the headaches he was going through.

He clenched his fist, there's no need to hurt her. A gasp escaped his gaped mouth, and with the gasp came all the emotions he had been hiding for months. She was unworthy to be hurt; yet I have hurt her. What have I done?

Lost.

He laid his tormented body on the cold futon neatly unfolded on the floor. A good number of blankets were piled on the top of his clothes rack. To keep you warm. Her voice echoed in his memory, it was sweet yet at the same time haunting, terrified yet filled with love, filled with love even though everything was his fault.

Yes, he feels that everything was his doing. Everything was his fault. There's no doubt about that.

Kaoru had been but every inch the most perfect woman, always tending his need, always ready to give him whatever it is that he wants, and always ready to serve him whatever it takes.

Welcoming him to her house to live with her family is more than enough for him. It was too much kindness. It was love. Yet he never returned that feeling, he never even bothered to show her that he, for a matter of time, took care of her odd feeling.

The start of their relationship as more than benefactor and wanderer was really quite clouded for him. He can't really recall how everything had started. But he was certain of one thing, that if not for her courage, he wouldn't experience how it is to be loved by her openly.

And to be loved by her openly is something. It is something special, something heaven-sent.

She would wake him up with kisses, serve breakfast to him in his room, feeds him with sweets while he does the laundry and hugs him at the back whenever he cooks the meals. One time, when he went out to buy tofu from the market, it rained, just as it is raining now, and he didn't bring any umbrella with him. The rain got wilder and he was caught up with it, then he saw amidst the howling winds a slim form, she went out to find him, even though she knows her health is not that stable.

Promise me. Promise me you'll be with me forever.

Her words sank deep in his heart as one by one images of her came swarming around him. The images made no formation as to what they want to apprehend. They simply clung to his mind, filling her with strange memories and strange words.

Do you promise me?

The images slowly formed a clear picture and that picture tugged at his brain, pleading to be recalled.

Do you love me?

He closed his eyes tightly and tried to shove the image away, but it wouldn't go.

He shook his head and mentally shouted. He wanted it to go away for if he remembers it he might thwart the wall and apologetically clean his acts. And that he must not do.

It has been barely three months since he last saw her smile, a real smile, not that of bitterness and loathing, but a real one, reflecting genuine love and happiness. He wondered at how such an innocent mind is now corrupted with loathing and feelings of obliviousness.

The answer came in swift thrust.

He.

He was the reason for her cries, he was the thief, the murderer, he stole her life, her future, and her happiness. He killed her.