Rurouni Kenshin Fan Fiction ❯ Outpour of Rain ❯ Deja Vu ( Chapter 3 )

Disclaimer: Kenshin and the others are not mine, but I really do hope they were. I'm just using them for the satisfaction of my writing hands and my thinking mind. Read and thanks!

Notes: It had been a long time since I last updated, school had been damn hectic. And of course, the writer's block. It can't be avoided. But I will try to budget my time, allot an ample time for completing this. Sorry for being so slow.

Outpour of Rain

Chapter Three: deja vu

Hold me

I might disappear

I'm afraid.

Time quickly worn off, and she didn't notice the sudden change of temperature and the sudden setting of the sun.

She convulsed that night. Fever started to besiege her slowly deteriorating form and her eyes watered and reddened from being held unclosed for quite some time. She knows she have to face the macabre of nightmares, and she's afraid, she's terrified that's why she doesn't want to sleep.

She heard the neighing of horses from outside and her heart milled loudly in her chest, she knows that this was the time, the time she had been horrified of.

She gathered herself and pulled the heavy velvet of her robe hanging lazily on the clothes rack. She wrapped her frail body with it and tried to shield herself from the biting cold. A cough escaped her mouth, and it was soon followed by another, and then another.

She slowly skulked towards the main door, coughing still, quaking, and at the verge of lamentation. She hid herself, took shelter beside the slightly opened shoji, and stared, glared at the events unfolding in front of her. She swallowed the lump forming in her throat.

She saw Kenshin, and of course Tomoe, hauling their baggage in the carriage. Sano and the others are watching them leave. Sano had been talking to Kenshin but from her place she couldn't quite decipher what it was they were discussing about. She noticed the slight tightening of muscles in Kenshin's face and his effort not to turn the tightening into a snarl.

Whatever it was they were talking about, it seems so serious and imperative. She watched as Kenshin softened a little and tightened his lips, and slowly smiled, shook Sano's hands and turned to Megumi who was beside the latter and hugged her tightly.

He paced towards the carriage waiting for them outside the gate, and smiled simply at Tomoe who was impatiently waiting for him. He lifted one foot to the carriage and turned again to look at the dojo for the last time.

She took this as a sign; she should never let him leave her, no matter what. Kenshin is hers and only hers. She broke away from her solitude and limped towards the couple entering the carriage. "Kenshin," she cried, her voice shivering and slightly undefined.

He turned his head to the voice's direction and felt a painfully familiar throbbing in his chest and temples. He saw her limping, inching her way towards them. She noticed the wild shaking she has and concluded that she has a fever. He let his raised foot fall on the ground again as he saw her tripping over her unbalanced steps. He felt the need to rush to her, catch her before she falls, carry her back to her bed, hug her `till she's warm, cradle her `till she's asleep and stay with her `till the waking hours. He turned to run.

A hand touched his arm and he stilled, petrified. He turned to face Tomoe staring at him with wide-open eyes, showing threatening tears. Tomoe motioned him to go inside the carriage, and let the poor girl alone.

Drizzle slowly formed, and the frigidity rose. He sat sorely inside the carriage and turned every moment. A hand touched the tip of his nose.

"Kenshin, we'll be going," Tomoe murmured in her usual low-toned voice. Her face was expressionless, her hands cold.

He nodded, feeling quite ashamed for his initial reaction. He dared not to look back at the window behind him, for he might feel the impulse to rush again outside.

The drizzle got heavier, and it turned into rain. He fretted about Kaoru who was already sick. She might get cold again, he stated to himself. He heard another call from her.

Tomoe took hold of his hand and placed it on her cheek, and then slowly settled it on her belly, "Kenshin, we're going. The baby…"

He nodded again; he knew this would be hard; this would be painful for the three of them, especially Kaoru. He looked back, peered through the window and saw Kaoru, tripping and hysterically wet, running towards them. She was crying something out loud, but because of the harshness of the downpour, he couldn't quite make it out.

Kaoru reached the carriage and tapped on the glass window, overlooking Kenshin. She spoke words of indefinite sense, of words with no real meaning. She leaned closer and spoke in a rather calmed way, though it's evident that the insanity had almost gone to her head and had already ate its way within.

Kenshin just stared at her, feeling all at the same time, despair, love and pity. Kaoru was just outside the window, helpless and fully vulnerable; he was just inches away from her, yet he can't protect her from the biting cold. He had resolved to leave her, chose Tomoe over her for some reasons even he can't understand. He opened his mouth to tell her to go away, but his words just melted in thin air, unspoken, unaired. Good, he thought, I don't want to be harsh to her either.

Tomoe said something, but since he was too absorbed in looking at her pitying figure he didn't assessed what she said.

"We can go now," Tomoe ordered the coachman, and the carriage broke from its halt.

The sudden movement of the carriage stunned Kaoru so much, and her heart pounded more heavily. She ran after the carriage, calling out Kenshin's name over and over again. "Kenshin, wait," she ran, pulling the wet and soaked robe, enduring the stickiness of the clammy soil underneath her bare feet. "I promise I'll change, Kenshin…just please don't go. Kenshin, I'll try to be better if that's…if that's the problem…I'll control my temper I…I…Kenshin I promise…" she ran, still following the moving carriage.

He turned his head and stared outside the window, she was still running, her feet and face dirtied by mud. He wanted to shout, to order the coachman to return and halt. But he knows he mustn't do that.

Kaoru tripped over a protruding stone, and her feet were scarred. She was unable to get up, tired from running so much, tired from shouting at the top of her lungs every minute. She was tired.

He almost stood up, when he saw Kaoru taking a fall. He watched as her form slowly vanished and she was soon out of his sight.

She was left crying in the rain, feeling the coldness seeping through her veins and arteries. She felt Megumi's hands around her waist as she turned to beckon Sano to get a clean towel for her.

It was still raining so hard, and the smell of pine trees still lingered. Her eyes were hollow from over wakefulness, and her complexion was rough, her lips paled, her hair disheveled, and her being degraded, deteriorated and wildly dead.

Two weeks had gone by, and everyday had been dead, damned and murdered. The waiting seems to be rather long and moment-by-moment, her eagerness to see Kenshin again grows, eating her and driving her insane. Her sickness had been still with her and she wonders everyday if that would still be curable, for she had been hoping to acquire an incurable illness to shorten her forever-suffering life.

Megumi had advised her to take some rest for two weeks is not enough to make her recover, but as stubborn as she is, she didn't take some sleep. For she was afraid of nightmares, though she knows that it will only be through the nightmares that she'll have a glance of Kenshin once again.

She left for the hill that day, hiked through the blaring heat of the sun and reminisced the gleeful past. The way up the hill was shaded with trees, with pine trees to say so, she gathered that the hill these days would be filled with flowers and the sight overlooking the whole of Tokyo would be definitely clear. She hurried.

She soon found herself on the hill, setting comfortably on one side, leaning on a cherry blossom tree and savoring its shade. She took a hungry look, and was amazed at the beauty of Tokyo. She smiled to herself, "it's as beautiful as Hokkaido."

She was slightly stunned at the sound of her voice and at the words her mouth uttered. Hokkaido, a place so dear to her, came slowly fitting itself on her mind's puzzle board and formed a clear message: she misses Kenshin and their stay in Hokkaido.

She settled nicely on the soft patch of earth, leaned comfortably on the majestic tree and lingered on some thoughts. Kenshin had made her go to Hokkaido, not that she was regretting their stay there, it's just that she shouldn't have let the Hokkaido incident happen if all his promises won't come true.

For a week and three days they stayed in the ship, talking, almost every time, about almost everything. It's such a good thing that she had gone over her seasickness by the time Kenshin took her to Hokkaido. The stay in the ship had been fun, romantic at the most and always sensible.

She remembered one particular night. She had been on the deck, watching the waves glimmer in the dark for the moon had already taken its place in the heavens. She had been watching the waves move ever so gently, for the waves had amused her and helped her continue forgetting about her seasickness. She leaned on the bar handles of the deck, when she felt a pair of hands reaching her back.

The pair of hands made their way across her waist.

"Kenshin," she smiled, touching the pair of hands around her slim waist, "why are you here?"

"Why? Am I not supposed to be here?" he asked, gathering her hair on one side and letting it drop.

She smiled and slowly shook her head, "it's not that." She turned, meeting his melting stare, "you should sleep now."

"I'm not yet sleepy."

"Kenshin, thank you."

He laughed, his laughter music in her ears, "Kaoru, I miss you."

"We're almost always, every second together, and yet you miss me?" she laughed this time, trying to mock him. Kenshin took hold of her chin and lifted it up to meet his lips. Their lips met in great anticipation and longing, and they hungrily sought for each other. Kenshin's lips massaged hers and they were soon moving their heads in an alternate manner, he, responding to her needs, and she, responding to his call.

She pulled back suddenly, "this is not right."

He arched an eyebrow, stared at her face for a while and asked, "why?"

"This is a public ship, someone might see us," she murmured avoiding his stares.

"Don't," he searched for her face and when he found it he cupped it, "worry."

"But Kenshin, this is not-"

"Don't you like it?" he interrupted, pulling her nearer to him, smiling like the way he used to whenever he was begging her for something.

"I do, it's just that…"

He watched her with amusement as she blushed deeply, faltering and grinning dumbly to him. He laughed and bent down again to kiss her.

"Whatever," she mumbled as she accepted his lips to hers.

Whether it was for lack of air or for the impulse of lovers, they pulled back, almost at the same time. Kaoru's face was flushed, and a smile was on her lips as she chortled regarding something different about Kenshin. She decided to have a little game with him for the night was humid and she must avoid all humidity; it might lead to something.

Kenshin shot her a puzzled gaze and she laughed again, trying to mock her lover.

"What is it?" his stare was hard and she tried not to laugh for fear of being stared at for a longer and more serious way.

She fought the urge to smile, "nothing." She then laughed, and when she remembered his mortal stares she quickly zipped her lips and ran her fingers through his hair. "Nothing, really."

"Tell me," he murmured, slightly smiling, "now."

"It's just that," she bit her lips and winced, not at the pain but at the electricity his hands touching the lower part of her spine gave. "It's just that," she continued, brushing away all penetrating ideas, "you've become…you've become different."

"In what way? And why is my change making you laugh? Is it funny?" he asked in a somber tone, trying to imitate Megumi's tone, trying his best to scare Kaoru.

She noticed the curling of smile in the corners of his mouth. And she sensed the sudden blockheadedness of the situation. She laughed again. "It's just that, it's just that you're a bit more," she searched her head for a fitting word, then her eyes gleamed with pride when she found one, "you're a bit more…aggressive. Yes, aggressive. You're a bit more aggressive than before."

"Aggressive?" he arched one eyebrow, and continued with formality aired in his voice; "in what way?" he laughed softly, tracing the contours of her face as he realized what her intentions are.

"You are more open with your feelings now. You aren't," she murmured, feeling this time the loser of their laughing game, she thought she had won over when Kenshin got that very serious look, but now the wheel is turning, "aren't as reserved as before."

He smiled, pulling her into an embrace. "Why, don't you like my being aggressive?" he inquired.

"I do," she murmured, "who wants an over reserved Himura without even a dab of romance in his body anyway?"

He laughed again. "You mean you don't want-"

"I want everything about you, even the naïve Kenshin. It's just that I prefer the more physical and intimate Kenshin I have today."

"I'm sleepy, come on," he caught hold of her right hand and gently pulled her away from the deck.

She shook her head; "I'm not going to make love to you tonight."

"I won't either," he pulled her still.

"Then Kenshin, I'm not going to your room to make love to you."

"I know," he said, still pulling her and kissing her.

"But Kenshin, why do you still," she murmured, alarm in her small voice, "I thought you won't either, but why are…" she faltered.

"Because what we do is more than plain lovemaking. Ours is a bond, a bond that connects the two of us."

She smiled to her heart's content, "even so, I'm still not going to make love to you tonight." She got her right hand back, "I'm going to sleep in my room, alone."

He sighed, and pouted his lips like a preschool boy.

"Don't come to my room, and don't try raping me or I'll scream," she arched her eyebrow while smiling. She walked towards him and kissed him on the forehead, on the tip of his nose and on his cheeks.

"Okay," he said blushing. "I thought I won."

"No you didn't. And wouldn't ever." She turned to her heel and walked towards the hall.

"I'll have my revenge. Promise," he called out, menacing her in a funny way.

The sudden blow of wind brought her back to her senses and she realized how dumb she was trying to remember the past. She knows very well that she should stop thinking about him for she would only let the scar deepen. She must let it be healed. She leaned deeper on the tree and watched a lone cloud in the zenith.

It was in solitude and solitude is such a cruel thing. She doesn't dream of being a cloud anymore.

Note: So what do you think? At long last I already finished this chapter. I'm so glad my mind is now working; days had passed when all I did was to watch the computer buzz in my face. It's such a good thing I was able to get something out of my head.

So this chapter had been extra long, and I hope I did not make it boring. I had the plan about the story a week ago, but since time won't allow me, and won't even bother to lend a hand, I wasn't able to type it down and much of the original ideas were thrown and forgotten.

Another Note: I promise to upload more frequently, and to write faster and better. But this coming week would be hard for I have three pending projects for my siblings, two pending lecture notebooks and two projects for me. So bear with me please. Read and review please. I appreciate every bit of it. Thank you so much! Thanks for reading.

Send me your direct reviews at sessha1849@yahoo.com.

Thanks!!!!!!!!

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