Sailor Moon Fan Fiction ❯ ABSENCE: May the Farce be with you! ❯ Sudden Script Changes! ( Chapter 8 )

Chapter Eight: Sudden Script Changes!

"Wait a second!" exclaimed Minako suddenly. She rushed towards Rei, frantically wielding what appeared to be a thick folder full of papers. She slapped them into the woman's lap and gave her an intent stare. "Have a look at that and tell me something's not wrong in here!"

"What are you talking about, Minako?" sighed Rei wearily. "Listen, I just got settled into my home, and I'm not in the mood to look at anything weird."

"Have a look anyway!" insisted the blonde as she shuffled the papers. "There's something wrong here!" Rei shrugged, and flipped through the papers. She had no idea what she was looking for at first, but after leafing through several sections, she realized that the booklet was actually a script--the script of "Absence", the original story. Rei raised a black eyebrow as she read through the pages, and got to the point where the authoress had the heroine (which was Rei herself) return to Tokyo, which was where she was at that point. Suddenly, as she read across the lines, she discovered what her ditzy comrade had been talking about.

"I see what you mean!" she exclaimed. "It says here that when I returned to Tokyo, you and Mamoru were being held captive by Laodameia, that dominatrix snake-woman with a penchant for the color pink! But if that's true, then why haven't you been caught yet? This story is a parody of that other one, right?"

"Yeah."

"So why are you and cape-boy still here?"

"I have no idea," said Mamoru suddenly, appearing out of nowhere. Rei shrieked and nearly jumped out of her skin, and glared at the poor guy for sneaking up on her.

"AAHH! How dare you! Don't ever sneak up on me again, Mamoru!"

"Me sowwy!" Rei blew out a fierce sigh of anger and focused her eyes back to Minako.

"So… if you two are supposed to be captured, then why are you here?"

"Isn't it obvious?" asked Usagi, who also appeared out of nowhere. "Al Kristopher forgot about that whole thing! He knew that Mina and Mamo were going to get caught sometime, but he forgot when that was!"

I'm sorry for that, but luckily, Kirika was nice enough to remind me J

"Now he's aware of his mistake…" muttered Makoto, who also also came out of nowhere! Whew! Where are all these girls coming from?

"You don't want to know," muttered Ami, who also also also came out of nowhere!

"Anyway," said Minako, "I don't know why we're here. But if the author realizes that we shouldn't be there, then something must be done, or else the story will be completely screwed up!"

"(It's years too late for that,)" muttered Makoto.

"What do you think we should do?" asked Rei. Usagi piped up with a wonderful idea, her eyes shining brightly and innocently.

"Ah! I got it! We can do a sudden script change!"

"What's that?"

"Oh, don't play dumb, you guys!" she exclaimed. "A sudden script change is exactly what it sounds like! All we have to do is change the script that Minako gave us, and everything will be okay! At least, that's what I think will happen…" Eyes rolled mightily as Usagi pondered over the possibilities of sudden script changes, and everyone wondered just how long the girl could remain clueless. Rei loved her dearly, even her naïveté, but sometimes her love was tested to the ultimate limit.

"You… think it'll happen?"

"I'm not sure!" snapped Usagi defensively. "This has never happened before! But… we don't have anything to lose, so let's try it!"

"Hold on, don't I get a say in this?!" shrieked poor Mamoru. "I mean, this IS Minako and myself that we're talking about! What if we don't want the script to change? I'm not exactly looking forward to being the slave of some pink snake woman! Minako, surely you agree with me!" The poor blonde snapped to attention and nearly screamed at what she had been insisting upon.

"Oh yeah, I forgot! I'm one of the people that gets captured as well! Oh, CRAP!!! What am I talking about?!?! I don't wanna become the sex-slave of some perverted demon-creature! Crap! Crap on a crap cracker! What was I thinking?! …AND DON'T ANSWER THAT QUESTION!!!"

"I wasn't going to," answered Makoto plainly with a shrug. Minako's forehead was crowned with a big pulsating vein, and it was loud enough to speak for itself while her teeth gnashed together in a rage.

"Screw this!" she hissed darkly. "We can keep the stupid script! Let Mamoru and me go free! Let Laodameia get stuck with that chick with the mighty belch of impending doom! Who gives a rip?"

"But the script will…"

"Screw the script!" snarled Minako angrily. "Or do you WANT us to get captured?? I swear, with friends like you, who needs enemies?? Don't you all love me? Or do you want me to become the sexual tool of some otherworldly FREAK?!?!"

"Well… no!!"

"Then I rest my case!" insisted Minako. She took her script and threw it into the furnace, even though she had been the one to bring it and she had been the one that said something was wrong with it. Those kinds of things usually happened when the Sailor Senshi spent too much time with each other.

"Anyway," sighed Rei once the debacle was over, "Laodameia is next on our list of bad guys to kill, so we'd better think of a plan to get rid of her."

"I think I know something!" piped Usagi. "Yeah! I have a good plan! I'll be the one to do it, too! Okay, listen up everyone…" Usagi huddled together her friends, and began to whisper to them her most ingenious idea…

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Meanwhile, in the great hall of the Injustice League, Laodameia and her "servant" Aiaia have gathered together independently for a little chat concerning their newest enemy…

"Ai! Updates!" Aiaia grumbled wearily and slowly rose out of her bed.

"At two in the morning? ……Okay…" With a sigh, the poor woman obeyed her love and rose out of the bed, marching towards the other room where all of Laodameia's equipment was. She activated a few devices and began to list off the statistics on Earth one by one.

"Well, let's see. Bob's demons have split up and sided with Makareus and Thrinake, leaving us with a disadvantage unless we kill off the old man. The woman that killed Bob is now in Tokyo, currently pining over a certain blonde that will not return her affections until sometime later in the future… Al Kristopher is eagerly anticipating the next chapter to his 'other' final Sailor Moon story, but unless he gets some help or finishes some stories, he'll be waiting a long time. Kirika's girlfriend is plotting to delay her by distracting her away from her writing, and if she succeeds, then we can kiss all those Noir and Sailor Moon stories farewell. It's a conspiracy."

"Interesting…" hissed Lao (KIRIKA, WHY DID YOU MAKE NAMES THAT ARE SO HARD TO SPELL?!). "And what of our other threats?"

"The portal to all the crossover worlds is closed, so there won't be any surprise cameo appearances, even if Al Kristopher wills it." (We'll just see about that!)

"Excellent! Well, Ai, it looks like things are turning out for the better--although… it's a pity that those girls vetoed the issue of redressing that script. I was so looking forward to having that delicious Mamoru as my sexual 'tool', and that adorable little Minako as my precious pet… Oh well."

"You still have me, beloved master," smiled Aiaia. Laodameia purred in delight and ran a silky-smooth hand over the jaw line of the other woman.

"I know. Well, that seems to be it, then. I am satisfied."

"So can I go back to bed now?" hoped Aiaia. Laodameia paused and thought about it.

"Hmmmmm…… Nope."