Sailor Moon Fan Fiction ❯ All's Fair in Love and War ❯ Confessions to Lady Love ( Chapter 12 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Venus walked up to Kino's door. It was already nearly midnight, but she had not been able to come and find him earlier. Now she stood before the wooden doors, gathering her thoughts so that she knew what to say to him. There was a line of light below the door, so she knew he was still awake.

Finally, after several moments of hesitation, she raised her hand and rapped gently on the door. At first she heard nothing, but then the door opened a little, revealing a very stressed looking Kino with tousled hair.

"Venus, do you think that this could wait until later? I don't have a clear head right now," he said gently.

She was tempted to let him go, since he looked so stressed and tired. However, she knew that if she left now, there would never be a good opportunity to talk to him, since Aminiha would not let him out of her sight. So, she shook her head. "I'm sorry Kino, but it can't."

He sighed, and motioned for her to come in. He pointed to a chair in front of a dying fire, and she settled herself into it. Except for a few candles and the glow from the dying flames, there was no light in the room.

"What is it that you wanted to talk to me about Venus," he asked.

She felt pity for him. "Kino, are you really going to marry Aminiha?" she asked gently.

Kino smirked, an eerie, sarcastic smirk. "I suppose that I have to. Father has promised me to her as part of the peace treaty, and I have no one else to turn to as an excuse."

Venus looked at him quizzically. "What do you mean?"

He looked up at her and shook his head. "Nothing, never mind." Then he paused. "Is that what you came here to talk to me about? Because if so, you should come back tomorrow evening. Father still has a few things to say to me apparently." His voice was edged in bitterness.

Venus looked down at her hands. "It's part of what I came to talk to you about." She looked up at him. "Kino, you don't love her."

"You think that I don't know that?" he snapped, although not too roughly. "Of course I don't love her, I love…" he stopped himself and sighed, turning his gaze to the flames. "Never mind Venus. Yes, you're right, I don't love her."

"You love…." she prompted. He glanced at her, but remained silent. Finally, after a few moments of silence, Venus looked into the flames as well. "I know," she said.

"Then why do you ask?" he asked dryly.

"Because I wanted to make sure that you know," she replied, keeping her voice calm and soothing. She looked back at him. "Why didn't you tell her?"

Kino looked at her. "Do you really need me to answer that Venus? She does not love me."

"You can't know that."

"I can have a pretty good idea!" he snapped. Right away he looked ashamed for his outburst. He sighed. "I'm sorry Venus," he paused and looked back into the flames. "I wanted to tell her right before she left, but when I approached her about it, she already knew."

Venus sucked in her breath. "No she doesn't!" she exclaimed.

Kino looked back at her. "Yes she does, she told me herself. She said 'Kino, I know. Forget about me. No buts. I'm not upset with you or anything, just please be happy.' Those were her exact words to me Venus." He closed his eyes, and could still hear her voice.

"Tenshi, I've been trying to find you the past few days to talk to you about something. There is something that I need to tell you before you leave." He paused, as she placed her finger on his lips.

"Kino, I know. But-" she was cut off by the sound of foot steps. She backed away from Kino and looked down the hallway. Three servants she had brought along came around the corner, and came strait at them. She knew it was time to leave. She looked back at Kino. He still had a confused look in his eyes.

"You-you know?" he asked, "but how…."

She smiled up at him. "Forget about me Kino," she whispered.

His eyes widened. "But-"

"No Kino. No buts. I'm-I'm not upset with you or anything. Just please, be happy."

Venus stared at him, disbelief in her eyes. There's no way that she knows. If she knew she would not be in the condition that she is in. He must be mistaken, there must be something else she was talking about…Venus' mind whirled. "Kino there has to be some sort of mistake. I don't know what conversation you were having with her, but she must have been talking about something else. I can guarantee you that she does not know that you love her."

Kino's mouth twitched. "I don't think so Venus."

"But how could she have found out?"

Kino was silent for a few moments. "I sure wish that I knew. I didn't tell anyone. And I didn't think that I was being obvious about it. But it was clear that she did not feel the same way about me." He turned to look at Venus and she was shocked to see tears in his eyes, even though he did not let them fall. "You have no idea how much it pained me Venus, not to have her reject me, but to see her as sad as she was when she left, as though I had hurt her somehow. I want more than anything for her to be happy, but I don't know how. That is tearing me apart. You can see into my heart Venus, so I don't need to tell you all this, but you don't see the countless sleepless nights I've had trying to figure out how I have wronged her, and trying to figure out how to get a smile on her face again."

Venus wanted to scream with frustration that she could not tell him what was in Selenity's heart. She didn't know how to get him to come and see her. He would not listed to reasoning, and she could not tell him the whole story outright. She had to figure out a way to get them together, to get them to talk, but how?

"Kino, I know you're upset. Please come back home with mama and me. I'll invite everyone over, and we can have a small get together. You could see Selenity and find out what is troubling her, and everything will be alright!" she said, trying to sound cheerful.

Kino shook his head. "No. Father won't allow me to go, not without settling the issue with Aminiha. Only a matter of life or death would get him to allow me to leave." Venus could hear the bitterness in his voice. A matter of life or death….

"Kino, if it was a matter of life or death, would your father allow you to go?" she asked hesitantly.

Kino nodded. "Yes. He may be angry and determined, but he is not heartless."

Venus nodded her head slowly. She had not wanted to worry him, but now…."If that is so, he'll let you come then," she said quietly.

His head shot up and he stared at her. "What do you mean?" he asked, panic filling his voice.

Venus took in a shaky breath. "I told you that Selenity is ill."

"You said it was noting serious, that she would recover soon," he said, his voice having a deadly, warning edge.

"I said she was ill, but I didn't say how ill. I didn't want to worry you before we got some time alone. She is in danger Kino. She needs to see you," Venus said, praying that he would no recall her exact words.

"Why the hell didn't you tell me this sooner?!" he yelled as he stood up.

She looked up into his eyes. "Kino, I-" he didn't even let her finish.

"We're leaving first thing in the morning Venus. Go and pack, I will go and talk to my father."

Venus nodded as she stood. She walked out of the room, leaving a frantic Kino behind.

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Lord Takahashi stared at his son. It was already two thirty in the morning, and he had just moments earlier bid his brother good night. He had been surprised to see Kino rush into the room, and had listened to him patiently. When he had heard that Selenity was ill, and in danger of dying, he knew that there was no power that could keep his son from going to see her. He sighed.

"Very well, go to her, you know that I will not say no," Lord Takahashi said.

Kino nodded, and sank down into a chair in front of his fathers. "Dad, I'll be gone fore some time, since the trip will take two and a half weeks each way," Kino started to say. Lord Takahashi saw the fatigue in his son's face, lines of worry for the woman he…..wait, does he love the princess? He thought to himself. Have I been blind? "If you want to talk about the Aminiha issue…" Kino's voice trailed off.

Lord Takahashi rubbed his chin. "Do you love her?" he asked.

Kino looked at him. "I already told you that I don't."

Lord Takahashi blinked at his son in surprise, and then realized that his son was thinking of Aminiha, while he himself was still on Selenity in his thoughts. "I was asking about your….Tenshi," he clarified, and raised his eyebrows in amusement as he watched his son blush and fidget.

"I…ummmm-uhh…." Lord Takahashi placed his hand on his sons shoulder, causing Kino to look him in the eye. The corners of his mouth twitched to a smile, and Kino blushed even more.

"I'm sorry Kino, I did not know. Had I known, I would have never considered Aminiha's offer." Kino looked down at his feet again, silent. Lord Takahashi chuckled. "Go see Selenity. We will resolve this issue once you get back." Kino looked up into his fathers eyes, and saw understanding in them. He nodded, and stood up. "Go and get some sleep. You have a long journey ahead of you tomorrow," Lord Takahashi ordered.

Kino nodded, and both men headed off to bed, although neither slept very much that night.

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Th e week and three days that it took Kino and Venus to get back to Venus' home seemed to Kino like an eternity. Every moment that he could, he would spend interrogating Venus, but she always found some excuse not to answer his questions.

Artemis had come along as well, and he felt pity for the Venetian princess and tried to rescue her from his masters questioning sometimes.

Finally they arrived though, and after a day in Venus' kingdom, they headed to the moon.

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"Lo ok at the earth you two. You must be very happy there." Selenity, Helen and Paris all stood on Selenity's balcony, staring up at the blue jewel in the sky. Helen nodded, her arm wrapped around her friend for support. Paris had his arm around the frail princess as well, who clutched a cloak around her shoulders.

It had been nearly three weeks since Venus had left. She had sent a message to Helen, asking her and Paris to come to the moon and keep an eye on Selenity, an arrangement that Queen Diana had been more than happy to comply with. She was worried with her daughter, especially after she had passed out a few times in a matter of days.

Selenity had slowly withdrawn herself into her own little world, one in which she barely slept and ate. No one knew what to with her. Even when Diana had used the Silver Crystal to try and help her daughter, it had done little good.

Selenity had wanted to go out for some fresh air, so with the help of Paris and Helen she had walked out onto her balcony, and they were now enjoying the evening sky. They all heard a knock on the door, and Helen went to answer. Paris kept holding on the Selenity.

"Tell me Paris, when are you and Helen planning on going back to earth?" Selenity asked, her voice as fragile as a bubble in the wind.

He smiled down at her. "I don't know yet. Why, do you wish us to leave?" he asked teasingly.

Selenity smiled, an action which had become a rare occurrence. "No, of course not. I just feel bad that you're spending so much time here with me. I'm really not all that sick, you don't have to worry so much."

Paris gaze down at the girl, her eyes fixed on the starry sky. "It's our job to be worried about you. Besides, we enjoy being in your company. We're not that far from home anyway," he said. Selenity nodded at his comment.

Helen came back onto the balcony, followed by a visitor. "Selenity, I have a visitor for you."

Selenity slowly turned around with Paris' help, and her face lit into a grin when she saw Venus walk out onto the balcony from behind the curtains, which led into the room.

"Venus!" she exclaimed, and hugged her friend. Venus hugged the girl back, glancing at Paris worriedly over Selenity's shoulder. Selenity was thin now, thinner than when she had left.

Paris frowned and shook his head, telling Venus that the princess was not better. Venus pulled away, still keeping her arms around Selenity's waist. Selenity didn't even notice Helen motion to Paris to follow her, and the two walked into Selenity's room, off the balcony.

"Venus, you left so suddenly last time, I didn't know where you went. I was worried about you!" Selenity chided with a smile.

Venus smiled down at her friend tenderly. "I had some business I had to attend to that could not wait. I had to find medicine for you, and now that I found it, I'm back," she said.

Selenity inclined her head slightly in confusion. "What could you have possibly brought me to…" her words trailed off as a new figure stepped onto the balcony from behind the curtains.

They stared at each other for a moment, no one saying a word. Venus did, however, feel Selenity's grip on her tighten, although not nearly as much as it should have, which worried Venus even more. She could feel her friends heart still bleeding, but a new spark raced through it now. She could almost hear Selenity's voice in her head, demanding to know what she had told him, why he was here. Venus slowly let go of Selenity, who would not stop staring at Kino. He was still in front of the door, light flooding out around him, causing him to be partially silhouetted.

Selenity finally spoke. "Kino! What are you doing here?"

He smiled at her. "I-I heard that you weren't feeling well," he replied as he took a few steps toward her. Neither one of them seemed to notice Venus slowly slip into the room and silently close the door behind her. Thus they were left alone.

Selenity finally smiled. "I'm alright, nothing too serious," she said, and attempted to step to him. Her legs couldn't handle it though, and she felt herself starting to sink to the ground. Two strong arms were there to catch her though, and she never hit the ground. She looked up into his eyes, aware of how close he was to her. "Th-thank you," she said.

Kino held the girl in his arms, noticing how light and thin she was. "Tenshi, how can you say you're alright? You've nearly disappeared into nothing!" he said, his voice high strung.

She giggled. "I'm ok Kino, really. I've only lost a little weight."

"Only a little? Selenity, I can hardly feel that I'm holding you up!" She flinched a little at the anger in his voice, and the fact that he had not used her pet name.

"Why did you come here? I thought that by now you would be busy with…other things," she asked, not being able to bring herself to mention Aminiha directly.

Kino stared at her. "I'm never to busy to come and see you Tenshi," he said, more gently than before. "Aren't you glad to see me?"

She felt a small stab in her heart for being so cold. "No, I am happy to see you. It's been over a month since I saw you last. How is your father doing?" she asked with a smile on her face.

Kino shrugged. "He has a lot of political issues to deal with at the moment. His health is fine though."

"That's good. Do you still have many visitors?"

"Yes and no. Queen Aminiha and her daughter are still there, and father's brother arrived on the evening before I left. Other then that, it's been pretty quiet since you left." She felt him take in a deep breath. "I also came here because I wanted to know why you left form your visit so sad." He felt her stiffen in his arms.

"What makes you think that I was sad?" she asked, a little formally.

"I can tell when you're upset Tenshi."

"I told you that I was not upset with you when I left," she said, a little more sharply than she had intended. She pulled away from him a little, and walked slowly to the edge of the balcony, leaning on the railing. "If that is all that you came to talk about Kino, then there is nothing further to say," she said quietly.

He stared at her form, so weak and thin. He wanted to do nothing more than wrap her in his arms and not let her go until she felt better, until she was her old self again. He took a step toward her. "Tenshi, don't lie to me-"

"No!" she snapped cutting him off. "Kino, I said if that's all you came to talk about then there is nothing. More. To. Say." She said, annunciating every word.

He stopped moving toward her. Why is she acting like this. "Tenshi, please tell me…" he pleaded, but stopped when she spun around to look at him. He drew in his breath sharply. Her form was aglow form the stars above them, every detail of her was silvered with their soft light. Her eyes had unshed tears in them, and her face looked solemn and quiet, concealing hidden pain and deep emotions.

"Stop it. Don't do this to me Kino," she whispered.

"What do you mean?" he whispered back, hardly daring to breath. A tear slipped down her face, but she made no move to wipe it away. He stepped to her to wipe it off her face, but she flinched away. "Tenshi please tell me what I've done to you," he pleaded with her in a whisper she barley heard.

Another tear slipped down her face, and her jaw clenched. "You have not done anything Kino, don't you understand that? I am not angry with you. How many times do I have to say that I am not angry with you?" she said, her voice getting higher and shriller with each word. She felt her legs giving way again, but Kino's arms were on her shoulders right away steadying her.

"Tenshi…" he said, worry and fear in his voice like she had never heard. That was the last straw, and she felt herself crack. Her mind blurred and she no longer knew what was real and what was not. The voice of her heart took over her at that moment, and there was nothing that she could do about it.

"Kino," she whispered, staring strait ahead at his chest, "I'm not angry or upset. The reason that I may have looked and look upset is because I am in pain." She couldn't bring herself to look at him. "I want you to go back home, back to Aminiha, and be happy with her. I know that you don't love me, and that doesn't bother me, as long as you are happy. That's all I need Kino, for you to tell me that you will be happy, and then I'll be fine."

Tears were streaming down her face as Kino placed his hand beneath her chin and tilted her face up to look at him. Even with her eyes being rimmed in dark circles and her whole body frail, she looked stunning. "Please Kino, tell me that you will be happy. I need to know that. I can't bear it if you're not happy. I love you too much to let that happen. My heart is breaking because I can't have you, but that pain is nothing in comparison to the thought that you will be miserable. Please, please tell me that you will happy," this time her voice grew quieter and quieter until it was an urgent whisper.

Kino stared down at the woman. He could feel her trembling, and slowly brought his arms around her so that she was leaning against his chest, still looking up at him. He brought one hand around to brush some hair out of her face, and traced the little golden crescent moon on her forehead. He felt her shiver under his touch, and it wasn't until his gaze reached her eyes again that he realized that he was trembling too.

"Why do you think that I don't love you?" he whispered hoarsely.

Her eyes seemed to get even more glossy at the comment. "I-I heard your father and Aminiha talking…she said that you loved her and-and that you were to marry her….I though…that…." a new wave of tears slid down her face.

He gazed at her with such tenderness and passion that it made her shudder.

Her eyes widened as he leaned over, and gently pressed his lips to hers. Right away they closed though, and she stood there, letting him support her whole weight, willing her heart to keep beating a few more moments at least so that she could be this close to the man she loved. He didn't try to push the kiss further, nor did he try to break it. Tears continued to slip down Selenity's face as he brought his hand to the back of her head. She felt his warmth envelop her, his strength help her, his passion giver her the will to live….They slowly pulled apart reluctantly.

Kino's lips still hovered only millimetres from hers, and she could feel his breath on her face. "Tenshi…." he whispered, and she nearly collapsed at how thick his voice was with passion and desire. "I will be happy. I promise you that. But only…" he paused, and swallowed hard. "But only if I can be with you, and know that you are happy. If you think that I don't love you, then you must be delirious with that illness of yours."

She stared up at him, the sparkle of the stars dancing in her eyes. "You love me….." she whispered, her voice edged with disbelief.

He smiled down at her and nodded, kissing her gently on the forehead. "Yes. Ever since I came back…I can't imagine myself without you."

She pressed the side of her face to his chest listening to his heart beat. He stroked her hair gently, inhaling her feminine smell. "I love you too Kino," he heard her whisper. He smiled against her hair, and pressed her harder to his chest. She tightened her grip on his waist, but suddenly it slackened, and he felt her go limp in his arms.

"Tenshi!" he cried out as he braced himself to stop her from falling. There came no response though, and he knew she had passed out. He quickly scooped her up into his arms, making sure her head was leaning against his shoulders. He was almost tempted to stay outside with her in his arms, but his worry was too great. He quickly stepped to the door and using his elbow pressed down on the handle, opening the door.

Venus, Paris and Helen were sitting in the little adjoining room with sofas, the door between the two rooms open. They saw Kino walk in with Selenity in his arms and quickly rushed over to him. He lay Selenity down in her bed. Venus reached her side and placed her hand on the girls forehead.

"She collapsed outside," Kino said, panic in his voice.

Venus smiled as she took her hand from Selenity's forehead. "Don't worry. She'll be fine now. Just fine." Everyone looked at Venus, and an air of calm filled the room. They watched Selenity sleep for a while, then Paris and Helen left.

Venus and Kino sat on the bed on either side of Selenity, watching her sleep.

Venus looked up at Kino. He didn't take his gaze off Selenity, but he did smirk. "Please Venus, you don't have to say 'I told you so,' you really don't."

Venus smiled at him. "I won't say it, but you know I did," she said cheekily.

He looked up at her and smiled, and she was surprised to see tears in his eyes. "I know you did. I'm glad you were right."

She smiled and then looked back down at Selenity. "Me too."