SD Gundam Fan Fiction ❯ Madness of the DARK AXIS! ❯ CRAZY ways to defeat your enemy! ( Chapter 7 )

Arisasora- Yes, I know I been updating to fast.

Shadow- But she's REALLY bored.

Arisasora- be quiet!

Sakura- She got a point

Arisasora-…………

Sakura- We do not own anything!

CRAZY ways to defeat your enemies.

Last time when we left off on Group2. They just found the key to the door….and were chased by brain eating clowns….

Sakura- *shudder *

Shute- I hope we don't run into them for a long time.

Sakura- VERY long time.

Captain-……..

Sakura- Wow…captain in actually SILENT this time.

Shute- What do you mean?

Sakura- Well little boy. Whenever there in a moment of silence Captain always says something.

Shute- What do you mean LITTLE BOY?!

Sakura- Would ROOSTER boy sound better.

Shute- I hate you.

Sakura- (^_^) I know you do.

Shute- (-_-)

Meanwhile…………

Commander- Zapper! Go to your post! Zakos! Stay on your guard! And order me pizza.

Zapper- why pizza?

Commander- Are you questioning me?! Move it!

Zapper- On it commander.(dumbass)

Commander- And make sure it NOT from PIZZA HUT!

What's wrong with pizzas from Pizza Hut? Oh well….now back to the group2 who are now hiding behind a boulder….

Captain- This is going to tough. This place is swarming with zakos.

Shute- right! Oh wait…I'm getting something on my cell phone…Hello?

Keiko- Hello shute!

Shute- MOM! I'm on an important mission right now! Can we have this later?

Keiko- But Shute! You must know! Nana just said her first word and she said "Shute."

Shute- Wow, really? I'm so happy! I'm ….I'm…

Sakura- Oh boy….

Shute- *jumps up from their hiding place* KING OF THE WORLD!!!

Sakura- You IDIOT!

Zakos- * shoot their guns *

Shute- *gets hit * AHHHH!!!

Captain- Get down! *pulls him back in *

Zako1- Did we get him zako?

Zako2- Isn't it obvious zako? No one could have survived that!

Zako3- wasn't there two more people behind there?

Captain- *fires his gun *

Zako- * get shot * ZAKOOOOOOO!!

Captain- Shute? Shute?! Speak to me!

Sakura- Here rookie. This is the REAL way to do it. *picks up shute * SHUTE!!!! WAKE UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!* shakes him rapidly *

Shute- (X_o) Huh? I'm ALIVE!!!!

Sakura- Yeah, pull a stunt like that again and I'll shoot myself.

Captain- really?

Sakura- *glares *

Captain- Never mind.

Sakura- Shute, listen to me and you'll be fine!

Shute- Why do I have to listen to you?!

Sakura- Because I'M TWELVE and YOUR ELEVEN. I'm OLDER that you!

Captain- Point taken.

Shute- I thought you were on my side!

Captain- I am. But in this situation, She's right and you are wrong.

Shute- Sometime I wonder why SDG made your mind so straight….

Sakura- WOULD YOU ALL SHUT UP?! THIS NOT A WB COMEDY SHOW WERE DOING HERE!!!

EOE-……..

Sakura- Oh look a map?

Captain- It says that there is three bridges that we must go to and fight with an opponent to reach to the clues.

Shute- Okay! So will all point to the bridge we want to go!

Sakura- *points at the middle *

Captain- *right *

Shute- * left *okay! Bye!

Captain- Do you think he'll survive>

Sakura- Not a chance.

At Sakura's destination …

Sakura- Okay captain. I'm at the first bridge. Any info-er…

Kuja-Ah. Today is so beautiful! But not as beautiful as me!(a/n and yes he's a guy I think he's the villain from one of the final fantasy series. I do know he's gay)

Captain- Sakura? Sakura come in! Are you deaf? The suspense is killing me!(a/n by the way they're talking on a cell phone same with shute)

Sakura- Uh sorry, the guy I'm facing with is a creep, you have any background information on this clown?

Captain- well his name is Kuja and he know a lot of magic.

Sakura- Is that all? Alright….

Kuja- I'm soo beautiful that there should be a picture of my face in the dictionary next to the word. But you are not as beautiful as I….so take this rose as a token of my beauty!

Sakura- You got to be kidding. THIS GUY'S A FREAK!!! I'M GOING TO BEATING HIM UP SO MUCH THAT HE'LL-

Captain-Sakura! No! He's pretty good at magic and dodging. You should wait until he jumps in the air and them shoot him! That reminds me of saying: " A leap of faith can cost you your life and give yourself away"

Sakura- Hey that's pretty good! Chinese proverbs?

Captain- Actually that was in my fortune cookie today.

Sakura- I…see…

Kuja- I saved this one for you! Spinning Rose ATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTACK!!!*jumps REALLY high in the air *

Sakura- Uh watch out for that-

WHAM!!!!!!!!!KA-BURRRRRRRNNNNN!

Sakura- Bomb.

Kuja- NOOOOO MYy Beautiful face!!!!!*disappears *

Captain- What a crybaby.

Sakura- Captain, you keep going. I'll get some information on your opponent

Hahaha! Bye bye Kuja! Why does a bomb appear out of know where? Heck How should I know?! This is a HUMOR fiction ya know.

At captain's destination…

Captain- I'm not at the bridge Sakura-

Bison- ha! I'm gonna pudda hurddya good!

Captain- ….looks like some on forgot to do their homework. Sakura got any information?

Sakura- Yeah, but why are you trusting me to get the information?

Captain- Shute doesn't know these stuff.

Sakura- Oh. Well anyway. His name is Bison and a former boxing champion. His title was erased because he bit his opponent head off.

Captain- You got to be kidding me.

Sakura- Afraid not. And by the way he talks he must had to much blows to the head. Hey! That gives me an idea.

Captain-This better not be involve me doing the belly dance….(a/n give credit for that to NeoYami who created the story of Zero turning into a girl! I admit it, that story was very funny )

Sakura- no! I always remembered about a myth about boxers with brain disorder. Sometimes when they hear a ring, they think they are in a fight and nothing distracts them.

Captain- What's the whole point out of this?

Sakura- Captain! Find a hollow metal object in there and shoot it! If it works Bison won't be a problem. Trust me.

Captain- …that's it! No more discovery channel for you!

Bison- come ya piceof meztal!

Captain- This better work…* shoots at a bucket that appears out of now where *

BING!

Bison- Wah?! Da! I'ds cloubbarin tyme!

Captain- It didn't work! He's heading straight toward me!

Bison- * goes past Captain *

Captain- Huh? Well I'll be….

Bison- Fwoat wike a buddafwy! Stink wike a fwee!

Captain- Whatever. If boxing was THIS harmful to the brain, they should ban that sport!

Sakura- Hahaha! Told ya!

Captain- I have to admit it was a good plan.

Sakura-I can't help but to feel a bit sorry for Bison. Oh well, "Mind is a terrible thing to waste".

Captain-Now I know THAT is not a Chinese Proverbs. Don't you ever read the book?

Sakura- …shut up…

Shute's destination…

Shute- Okay so I'm at the bridge-

Hulk- You life end here! I shall crush you! (a/n Shute's in it now…)

Shute- Eep! Strong words. Any tips captain?

Captain-uhh….Shute? That's the Hulk. The strongest out of three. The only thing I can suggest to you is kick him in the nuts and run!

Shute- What? Come on! He must have a weakness!

Captain- Not unless, I appear magically over there (a/n not going to happen). He's a great fighter plus he has a bad temper.

Shute- That look in his face tells me he hasn't contacted a woman for ages! Hey…

Captain- Shute? You're not…

Shute- *tosses the Hulk a Magazine *

Captain- Shute?! What are you doing?!

Shute- Trust me on this one. Hey big guy! Think fast!

Hulk- What? You fool! You expect to hurt me with a magazine? That's the most stupidest move- * a poster of Princess Lacora comes out * Ooooooooooh!

Shute- Pretty isn't she? Them you'll love this! *takes out another magazine * The…mayor!(from Neotopia…last time I checked the mayor was a woman )

Hulk-* gasp * GIMME! GIMME!

Shute- You'll have to catch me first! * runs * C'mon! C'MON That's it! Here boy! *whistle*

Hulk- *pant * *pant *

Shute- You almost there! TORO! TORO! (I bet the Hulk is unaware of the 10-ton block of metal behind the poster…)

Hulk- Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy!

K.O.

Shute- o-lay!

Hulk- *knocked out *

Shute- Ohhh. He isn't getting up for a while.

Captain- that was brutal!

Shute- It was only one of those anime magazine! Not some smut magazine. Hey! I wonder if it'll work with Chief Haro? I know he hasn't been in contact with any woman!

Captain- Talk about a deranged 14 year old boy trapped in a mid age body.

Shute- I'll say.

Captain- Reminds me of saying: Person, man, person , man……hits on the head with a frying pan.

Shute- That's a proverb?

Captain- No, It's from the song that Sakura was just listening.

Shute- riiiiiiiiiight. I'll see you guys soon!