SD Gundam Fan Fiction ❯ Mr. SD Gundam Force ❯ B-Sharp, B-Flat, B-Quiet ( Chapter 4 )

(Open to a shot of what appears to be a pub. There are numerous people seated around a stage with a karaoke machine, including Shute's family, the SDG staff, several Lacroix, random Nobusshi and Musha Gundams, Zako Soldiers, and of course, fan girls. The fan girls, for obvious reasons, are chained to their seats, and the seats sealed to the floor. Red Mic Zako is standing before the stage.)

 

Red Mic: Welcome back, everyone, to Mr. SD Gundam Force! Today, each competitor will grace you with their glorious voices by taking a turn singing a song chosen by our generous, smart, handsome, (Muttering) egomaniacally, (Aloud) producer!

 

(Cut to the bar. Cy, wearing his Organization XIII robe, is hunched over his drink. Turning to face the camera, he waves. Cut back to Red Mic.)

 

Red Mic: First up, is our favorite ninja, Cobramaru!

 

(Cobramaru leaps down from the ceiling, knocking Red Mic offstage grabbing his microphone. As the music starts up, he glances at the karaoke machine's display. Seeing the lyrics, he gives an annoyed roll of the eyes before singing.)

 

Cobramaru: You're the top!

 

You're the coliseum

 

You're the top!

 

You're the Louvre Museum

You're a melody

Of symphony

By Strauss

 

You're a Bendal bonnet

A Shakespear sonnet

You're Mickey Mouse!

 

Zakozakozakozako

 

As Cobramaru hissed out an Broadway classic, Cy took great care to nurse his drink as best he could. That member discount went only so far.

“That's a nice song,” a female voice from behind said, “Where'd you hear it?”

“Muppet Show,” Cy answered, “Ethel Merman episode.”

Cy turned around to see who he was talking to, and nearly fell off his seat. The `woman' was transparent! Of a darker shade of skin, with a phantom beam saber lodged in her forehead, Lalah Sune of Universal Century fame smiled sadly.

“Lalah!” Cy said, doing his best to disguise his shock, “I didn't know you were on this plain of existence! Want a drink?”

“No, thank you,” Lalah replied, “It all goes right through me.”

“Oh, yeah.” Cy said awkwardly.

Meanwhile, Cobramaru finished his song.

 

Zakozakozakozako

 

(Bowing, Cobramaru leaps to the ceiling. Red Mic Zako scurries on stage, looking up.)

 

Red Mic: Hey!

 

(The mic falls from above, bouncing off his head. Red Mic, nonplussed, picks it up.)

 

Red Mic: Wasn't he great, zako? And now, that Knight in winged armor, Zero!

 

(There is a burst of wind and rose petals, scaring Red Mic away. Zero appears out of the burst, taking hold of the microphone. Music starts up.)

 

Zero: I've got a girl named

Ram-a-lam-a-lam-a-ding-dong

 

She is everything to me

Ram-a-lam-a-lam-a-ding-dong

 

And I will set her free

`Cause she is mine, all mine

 

Zakozakozakozako

 

As Zero bobbed along with the tempo, Cy noticed two things.

A great deal many sheep had somehow gotten into the pub.

The barkeep was too distracted by the sheep to pay attention to anything else.

Making sure no one was watching, Cy gave himself a free refill. Noticing Lalah, he said, “Don't tell no one, okay?”

Not saying a thing, Lalah vanished.

 

Zakozakozakozako

 

(Bowing, Zero majestically flies away, leaving the mic behind. Red Mic cautiously hops back onstage.)

 

Red Mic: Next up, our boss in blue, Lord Grappler Gouf!

 

(Grappler walks onto the stage, shoving Red Mic off, grabbing the mic.)

 

Grappler: All right, beat it, you. And now, Indian Love Call.

 

(Music starts.)

 

Grappler: When I'm calling you-ooo-ooo-oo…

 

(Suddenly, Lalah Sune appears onstage!)

 

Lalah: You called?

 

Grappler: GAAH!

 

(In his surprised terror, Grappler dives offstage. Shaking her head, Lalah vanishes. Red Mic walks back onstage, mic in hand.)

 

Red Mic: Um, zako, that was weird. Anyway, up now is that green-headed official, Chief Haro!

 

(Red Mic jumps off the stage, dropping the microphone. Haro walks on stage. He picks up the mic, tosses his hat, and the music starts up.)

 

Haro: I'm comin' home,

I've done my time

 

Now I've got to know what is and isn't mine

If you received my letter, tellin' you I'll soon be free

 

Then you'll know just what to do

If you still want me

 

Tie A yellow ribbon `round the old oak tree

 

Zakozakozakozako

 

Cy bobbed his head with the tune, patting one of the sheep.

“I'd never thought I'd hear the Chief sing.” A voice behind said.

Cy turned and saw Juli, out of uniform, dressed in a khaki skirt and brown tank top.

“He's okay, huh?” Cy asked.

“Baa, baa,” the sheep bleated.

“See? Even the sheep agrees!” Cy exclaimed.

“Humbug, humbug!” The sheep finished.

Cy and Juli stared. Cy checked his drink, then dumped it into a plant.

 

Zakozakozakozako

 

(His ears giving one last flap, Haro exits stage right. Red Mic comes back onstage.)

 

Red Mic: Not bad, for a guy with no mouth, huh-zako? Next up, our favorite guru of the Gallop, Lord Destroyer Dom!

 

(The pub starts to shake from the force of Destroyer's footsteps as he jogs up to the stage. The tremors are such that Red Mic falls offstage, dropping his mic. Destroyer picks it up, and music begins.)

 

Destroyer: Oh Danny boy, duh pipes, duh pipes ah calling

From glen tah glen, an' down duh mountainside

 

Duh summer's gone, and all the flowahs ah dying

Tis you, tis you must go an' I must bide

 

But come ye back when summer's in duh meadow

Or when duh valley's hushed an' white wit' snow

 

'Tis I'll be here in sunshine or in shadow

Oh Danny boy, oh Danny boy, I love you so

 

Zakozakozakozako

 

As Destroyer warbled out a rather clunky rendition of Danny Boy, Cy and Juli did their best to ignore his voice.

“So,” Cy said, tapping his glass with a spoon, “Who do you think will win?”

“I really can't say,” Juli said, a hand over her ear, “I hope the chief will win, but…”

“Forget it,” Cy said, waving a dismissive hand, “Chief Haro doesn't have the fan base needed to win this thing.”

“So you think one of the gundams' will win?” Juli asked.

“Meh,” Cy said, waving his hand again, “I don't know who'll win, but I know whose losing.”

“Who?”

“The audience!” Cy laughed, and the sheep bleated in agreement.

 

Zakozakozakozako

 

(After finishing, Destroyer leaves the stage. Red Mic crawls back onstage, wearing a large pair of earmuffs.)

 

Red Mic: IS HE DONE? (Takes earmuffs off) Now, here comes Captain, zakozako!

 

(Captain zooms onstage, accidentally bumping Red Mic off. Picking up the mic, Captain waits as the music starts.)

 

Captain: You can't live with `em

You can't live without `em

There's something irrisistable-ish about `em

 

We grin and bear it `cause the nights are long

I hope that something better comes along!

 

Zakozakozakozako

Captain went along the song well, though he didn't put much emotion into it. At the bar, Cy sighed and looked at the ceiling.

“Another classic by Paul Williams, right out the window.” He lamented.

“I thought that was from the Muppet Movie,” Juli commented.

“From what I know,” Cy said, “Almost all the songs from the Muppet Movie were made by Paul.”

Meanwhile, the sheep began to sleep.

 

Zakozakozakozako

 

(Captain finishes. Bowing, he leaves the stage. Red Mic hops back up and takes the mic.)

 

Red Mic: Now, Lord Kibaomaru!

 

(Kibaomaru walks onto the stage, looking as imposing as ever. He glares at Red Mic.)

 

Red Mic: Zako! (Flees, dropping the mic)

 

(Kibaomaru picks up the mic, and the music starts up. He glances at the lyrics, sighs, and…)

 

Kibaomaru: Many, many years ago when I was twenty-three

I was married to a widow who was pretty as can be

 

This widow had a grown-up daughter who had hair of red

My father fell in love with her and soon the two were wed

 

This made my dad my son-in-law, and changed my very life

Because my daughter was my mother because she was my father's wife

 

And to complicate the matter, though it brought me joy

I soon became the father of a bouncing baby boy!

 

Zakozakozakozako

 

As Kibaomaru went through with the popular novelty song, looking more and more cross as the patrons laughed, Cy did his best now to look at the stage. If he did, the glare from the Musha Gundam Warlord would have burned him to a crisp. Forcing himself to stare into his glass, Cy barely heard Juli say, “He's not gonna let you forget this, you know.”

“I know,” Cy answered, “But that's what Trevor's for,”

Juli glanced out a window- and let out a gasp. Peeking through the glass was a HUGE(And I mean HUGE) robot head!

“He's waiting outside, in case there's trouble,” Cy went on, “I'd bring him in, but he won't fit through the doors with breaking something.”

Back on stage, Kibaomaru finished, looking ready for murder.

 

Zakozakozakozako

 

(Kibaomaru throws the mic down, stomping off. Red Mic cautiously gets back onstage, and picks up the mic.)

 

Red Mic: boy, he looks mad, zako. And now-!

 

(Without warning, Zapper shoves his way onto center stage, taking the mic.)

 

Zapper: All right, my turn! (Begins to fiddle with Karaoke machine) I'm not gonna sing what that stupid organic's picked out, I'll choose something myself! (Goes through selections) No…no…Hey, this looks pretty good! My Way!

 

(Music starts.)

 

Zapper: And now, the end is near

so I face, the final curtain

My friends, I'll say it clear

I'll state my case, of which I'm certain

 

I've lived a life that's full

I've traveled each and every highway

And more, much more than this

I did it My Way

 

Zakozakozakozako

 

Zapper didn't last too long. His grating voice, amplified by the speaker system, had a very bad effect on the audience. It wasn't too long before they began to boo. Zapper ignored them, and sang louder to drown out their discourse.

“This won't last long,” Cy confided in Juli. There was a dim roar. “In fact, it's already over.”

 

Zakozakozakozako

 

(Amid a hail of thrown debris, consisting of mostly peanuts and plastic cups, forced Zapper to flee, dropping the mic. After the torrent ends, Red Mic, wearing one of this umbrella caps, gets onstage.)

 

Red Mic: Uh, not bad, huh? Could have been worse, zako-zako.

 

(A low grumble of distaste emits from the audience.)

 

Red Mic(Sweatdrops): Uh, heh heh heh…Um, next up is Bakunetsumaru! Yaay!

 

(Bakunetsumaru leaps onto the stage, inadvertly knocking Red Mic off it. Taking the mic, Baku' glances at the lyrics on the karaoke machine's display as the music starts.)

 

Bakunetsumaru: If a nightingale sang like you

It'd sing much sweeter than it'd do

For you brought a new kind of love

To me

 

Zakozakozakozako

 

Cy grinned. Despite Zapper's bad singing leaving the audience with a bad taste in their mouthes(And ears), Bakunetsumaru's rendition of You Brought A New Kind Of Love To Me was smoothing things out. It helped that the bar had run out of peanuts, plastic cups, and other things that could be thrown without much effort.

“Why is he singing like that?” A voice asked beside him.

Cy looked over and saw the Undefeated of the East, Bakuhamaru, sitting in the adjacent seat.

“Beats me,” Cy shrugged. He noted that Bakuhamaru had a point. For some reason, Bakunetsumaru was singing in a French accent.

“Chevalier, eh…” Cy murmured, taking another sip of his drink.

 

Zakozakozakozako

 

(After finishing his song, Bakunetsumaru begins to bow. In fact, he's so busy bowing he doesn't see the hook reaching out until it pulls him offstage.)

 

Bakunetsumaru: Awk!

 

(He drops the mic, and Red Mic comes onstage and picks it up.)

 

Red Mic: Bakunetsumaru, ladies and gentlebots! Now, last but not least, our favorite organic Shute will take the stage.

 

(Red Mic, not wanting to be knocked off stage again, quickly drops the mic and flees. After a minute, Shute casually(but a little nervous in his step) walks onstage. He picks up the mic.)

 

Shute: Okay…

 

(Music starts up.)

 

Shute: Well, I'd like to visit the moon

On a rocket ship high in the air

Yes, I'd like to visit the moon

But I don't think I'd like to live there

 

Though I'd like to look down on the Earth from above

I would miss all the places and people I love

So although I may like it, for one afternoon

I don't want to live on the moon

 

I'd like to travel under the sea

I could meet all the fish everywhere

Yes, I`d travel under the sea

But I don't think I'd like to live there

 

I might stay for a day there, If I had my wish

But there's not much to do, when your friends are all fish

And an oyster and clam aren't real family

So I don't want live in the sea

 

I'd like to visit the jungle, hear the lion's roar

Go back in time and meet a dinosaur

There's so many strange places I'd like to be

But none of them permanently

 

So if I should visit the moon

Then I'll dance on a moonbeam, and then

I will make a wish on a star

And I'll wish I was home once again

 

Though I'd like to look down on the Earth from above

I would miss all the places and people I love

So although I may go, I'll be coming home soon

Cause I don't want to live on the moon

 

No, I don't want to live on the moon

 

(The song ends, and the crowd loves it. They applaud, and Shute bows.)

 

Zakozakozakozako

 

Later, long after everyone had left, the janitor began his nightly cleaning of the pub. As he swept up the peanut shells and sheep wool, he noticed a strange, hooded man hunched over at the bar.

“Hey,” the janitor said, shaking him, “It's closing time. Get out.”

“Huh?” Cy asked blearily, “Is it time for me to go on stage? Did I sleep through it all?”

“Ah, go back to sleep.” The janitor went back to his sweeping.

Cy, in his half-sleep mania, fell off his seat.