SD Gundam Fan Fiction ❯ Mr. SD Gundam Force ❯ The clip show thing ( Chapter 5 )

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“It's too bad we couldn't stay at that nice resort for long,” Shute said. He and the other contestants were relaxing in the studio lounge.

“We were only there to complete the outdoor portion of the contest,” Captain reminded him, “Cy made it clear from the start that we weren't going on a vacation.”

“Still, it was nice while it lasted.” Zero mentioned.

“Not for me,” Zapper growled, “I'm glad to get away from those ingrate organics.”

Before any of them could comment, a red light on the wall began to flash.

Showtime…

Zakozakozakozako

(Open to a bird's eye view of the stage. There are several chairs, which Red Mic and the contestants are sitting in.)

Announcer: Welcome back to Mr. SD Gundam Force!

(Cut to a close-up of the guys. Focus on Red Mic. He is sitting behind a desk, with his mic resting on one end.)

Red Mic: Zako! Welcome, ladies and gentlebots, to the intellectual part of the show. Now, I will interview each competitor about various things. Starting with… (Checks cards) Captain Gundam!

(Cut to Captain, who opens his faceplate. Cut back to Red Mic. During the exchange, the shot will switch between speakers as they are speaking.)

Red Mic: Sooo, Captain! What do you do whenever you aren't protecting Neotopia?

Captain: Well, partly I make sure my equipment and I are in top condition for when the city is in danger, but lately I've been spending time at Shute's house, enjoying his company and helping around whenever I can.

(As Captain's saying this, clips begin to play. The first clip is from Soul Drive Activate!, where Captain(Defender mode) is practicing his Captain Punch. The second is from Zero The Flying Knight, where Captain has picked up Shute's workshop(From the inside!) and threw the kite invention out because it wouldn't fit through the door. The next clip is from Soul Drive Activate again, this one of Shute and Captain cloud-watching. The last is from The Blazing Samurai Comes to Neotopia, the part where Captain is carrying a grill. Cease clips. Back to Red Mic.)

Red Mic: Riiight…Anyway! What can you say is your greatest accomplishment, zako?

Captain: Hmmm… That would be when I defeated Commander Sazabi and saved Neotopia from the Dark Axis.

(While Captain speaks, another clip plays. This one is from Showdown! Commander vs Captain. Captain, missing an arm, slams his fist into Sazabi's soul drive, rocketing away before Sazabi self-destructs. Cut back to Red Mic.)

Red Mic(A little vexed): Zako…yeah, you would bring that up, zako. Anyway… (Checks card) Lord Kibaomaru! What we want to know is, how long have you been a shogi player, and why?

Kibaomaru: Shogi was more than a hobby. At least, not at first. The game was good for planning battle strategies during the civil war. Eventually, I liked using the board and pieces so much that it snowballed.

(While Kibaomaru is talking, clips from various episodes begin, mostly showing Kibaomaru playing shogi. Cut back to Red Mic.)

Red Mic: Really? Who knew? Anyway, what would say is your greatest accomplishment?

Kibaomaru: Hmm.

(While Kibao' is thinking, clips begin to play. The first is from Kibaomaru's Invasion, with Kibao' beheading the Gundamusai. The next is from Tenchijo on Fire: Genkimaru's Roar!, where Kibaomaru hits Bakunetsumaru with his Morai Ten-bazan. The next is from Gerbera's Call. Genkimaru is about to hit by Zeong's tractor beam, but Kibaomaru jumps in front and gets taken in his place. Go back to reality.)

Kibaomaru: Saving the son I didn't know I had.

Audience: Awww.

Red Mic: That's sweet, zako. Now for… (Checks cards) Zero! The thing everyone wants to know is, why are you such a skirt-chaser?

Zero(Aghast): What!?

Red Mic: Why are you always coming on strong on the girls, zako?

(While Red Mic is talking, clips from various episodes play, all of Zero giving a princess rose to a girl.)

Zero: It is my knightly courtesy to be kind and chivalrous to all fair maidens! It is not skirt-chasing!

Bakunetsumaru(Aside, to Captain): There's a difference?

Zero: (Shoots Baku' a dirty look)

Red Mic: Uhhh, getting back to the interview, Zero, what would you say is your greatest accomplishment?

Zero(Smugly): Why, when I single-handily saved Lacroa from evil, of course.

(Clips from Deathscythe, Knight of Darkness play, showing mostly Zero's battle with Deathscythe, ending with the Infinity Winds finishing the Knight of Darkness off.)

Red Mic(Checking cards): But Lacroa wasn't saved until the White BaguBagu Captain made was introduced (Sees Zero's dirty look) Lord Grappler Gouf! Is it true that you wanted to be Commander of the Dark Axis invasion fleet?

Grappler: Yeah. And why shouldn't I? After all, I'm not only are my combat skills second to none, but I am a superb tactician, and handsome to boot. I'm inspirational, you know.

(While Grappler is talking, the following clips play. The first ones are from Zero the Flying Knight. Grappler clashes blades with Captain, pushing him back. The second is of Grappler knocking Shute in his kite away. Another is from Princess Rele, Revived!, with Grappler standing proudly in front of the captured Re-Equip Ring while the Zakos and Destroyer fool around with the weapons. Freeze on Grappler with the V-Rod.)

Red Mic: But, Lord Gouf, I understand the tactician and handsome, but several guys can mop the floor with you now. Why call yourself second-to-none about combat?

(While Red Mic is talking, clips from Zero, the Flying Knight, Gundam Force, Team-Up!, Go! Gundbike!, Gundam Force Triple Attack!, begin to play…all of them of Grappler being attacked by a gundam.)

Grappler: Hey, hey, hey! Who said you could play those clips!?

Red Mic: I'm just asking-

Grappler: Look, would you- would you just ask about my accomplishments!? (Readies missile-launcher)

Red Mic: Zako! Ah, uh, what would say is your greatest accomplishment?

Grappler: When I brilliantly captured Captain and Zero single-handily.

(Clip from Attack The Enemy Musai plays. Grappler fires a shot from his rubber-bazooka, trapping Captain and Zero- and some Zakos- in a ball of rubber.)

Red Mic: But they escaped later…

(Grappler shoots a dirty look.)

Red Mic: Uh, anyway… (Checks cards) Chief Haro! The thing I want to know is, what do you look like under that green head?

(There is silence.)

Chief Haro: That's classified.

Red Mic: What? You can't tell me?

Haro: No.

Red Mic: How about a hint, zako?

Haro: Not happening.

Red Mic: Can you tell me your eye color then?

Haro: That's classified too.

Red Mic: Hair style?

Haro: Classified.

Red Mic: College degrees?

Haro: Mum's the word.

Red Mic(Getting fed up): SHOE SIZE?!?!

Haro: …I'm not authorized to tell you.

(A beat, then Red Mic leaps up onto his desk, releasing a strangled scream of frustration. Calming, down, he sits back behind the desk.)

Red Mic: Do you have any noteworthy accomplishments, zako? Or is that classified too?

(The chief is silent. Clips from various episodes are played, mostly of Mark from his rare appearance. The last one is from Neotopia's Moment of Truth, when Haro saves Keiko and Nana from being gunned down by Doga Bombers.)

Haro: …That's classified.

Red Mic: Arrrhg!

Grappler(To Zapper): What a cop-out, huh?

Red Mic: Lord Zapper! Where do you keep those machine guns you always shoot off?

Zapper: In hammerspace.

Red Mic: That's the best answer I'm gonna get from you, isn't it, zako?

Zapper: Uh huh.

Red Mic(Sighing): Zako… What is your greatest accomplishment?

(cut to a clip from His Name Is Captain. Zapper, standing on the Komusai. There is a Zakrello Gate opened behind him.)

Zapper: Vaporize him!

(Magnamusai cannon blasts push through the gate, hitting Captain dead-on. There is a flash, and the scene cuts to a shot of a large crater in the field. Cut back to the show.)

Zapper: When I blasted that no-good Captain Gundam away! Hahahaha!

Red Mic: But survived, didn't he?

Zapper(Irked): Who asked you?

Red Mic(Changing subject): Now for Bakunetsumaru! You always ride your mobile horse Entengo, doesn't it hurt, sitting on that saddle?

Bakunetsumaru: It used to, in the beginning. But, as I continued to ride, the pain lessened. Now I don't feel anything!

(As Bakunetsumaru talks, clips of him riding Entengo play, ending with them crashing into a mana circle from The Blazing Samurai Comes to Neotopia.)

Red Mic: Wow! And what is your greatest accomplishment?

Bakunetsumaru(Gleaming with pride): When I defeated Kibaomaru and ended Ark's civil war!

Red Mic: But the fighting didn't stop until Genkimaru tossed Tenchijou into the lake… Moving right along, zako… (Checks cards) Cobramaru! What everyone wants to know is, how do your darts work?

Cobramaru: I'm telling, that's a ninja secret.

Red Mic: How is it any different than a normal secret?

Cobramaru: I'd have to kill you after telling you…along with everyone listening.

Red Mic: But we're being watched by millions! You wouldn't-!

Cobramaru: Try me.

Red Mic: Zako. What is your greatest accomplishment?

(Cobramaru is silent. Clips begin to play. The first is from Fly, Captain! The SDG Base Hangs By a Thread. Cobramaru leaps from the ceiling and shoots darts into two SDG GMs, making himself invisible to them. The second is from Sure-Kill Technique! The Threat of the Minov Sea. Cobramaru creates a doppelganger with his armor. Next is from The World Disappears! The Threat of the General. Genkimaru is saved from falling on to ground at high-speed by a blur, revealed to be Cobramaru.)

Cobramaru: …When I saved Genkimaru's life.

Audience: Awwww.

Red Mic: Cute, zakozako. Anyway, Shute! What everyone wants to know is, what about all the homework you've missed?

Shute(Eyes shifting): I'm working on it…I should get it done so I won't have to go to summer school…

Red Mic: And is that going to be your greatest accomplishment?

Shute: No! My greatest accomplishment is when I got Captain's Soul Drive back from Commander Sazabi!

(Clip from Neotopia's Moment of Truth plays. Shute, driving GunVehicle Captain, rams into Sazabi, causing him to lose his hold of the Soul Drive, which Shute grabs in the next shot.)

Red Mic: Grrrr…Next, we go to Lord Dom! What do you do when you're not shooting things on a mission?

Destroyer: Shoot things in my spare time.

(Clip from Bakunetsumaru's Struggle plays. Zapper and Grappler, while standing on the Zakrello Gate, watch Destroyer float by on an chunk of rock, firing off his bazookas for no real reason.)

Red Mic: Oooookay. What's your greatest accomplishment?

(Destroyer is quiet. Clips from various episodes begin to play…all of them shooting off his bazookas.)

Destroyer: Shooting things.

Zapper/Grappler: Figures.

Red Mic: well, that's all the time we have, so we'll go to a commercial break. When we come back, Mr. SD Gundam Force will have a surprise for all you faithful viewers out there!

Zakozakozakozako

“C'mon, fellas, pick up the pace!” Cy said, clapping his hands in a `get going' manner, “We've only got five minutes! Get into those costumes we got for you!”

As the contestants ran into a locker room, Shute slowed down long enough to ask, “Can't we do this in our regular clothes?”

“No, the outfits are already paid for,” Cy answered, “Besides, you'll look very European!”

“After the show, let's go medieval on him,” Grappler whispered to Zapper.

Zakozakozakozako

(Open to the stage. The curtain is closed, obscuring sight of what's going onstage. Red Mic is standing in front.)

Red Mic: Zako! Welcome back, ladies and gentlebots! This is the portion of the show where we display are contestants like pieces of meat at a butcher shop, giving you a chance to check them out without worrying about them running off at the last second. Now, as an added twist, rather than have them wear their normal outfits, our panel of coordinators have selected a style of attire for them to wear, so they can be judge by their personal looks, and not their wardrobe. And now, zako, here they are!

(The curtain opens, revealing each of the guys, standing in a row. The order is, from left to right, Chief Haro, Cobramaru, Zero, Zapper, Captain, Grappler, Shute, Kibaomaru, Bakunetsumaru, and Destroyer. Shute and Captain look uneasy, Zero and Kibaomaru look like their trying to remain dignified, Zapper, Grappler, Cobramaru and Baku' look ready to kill whoever laughs at them, Destroyer looks oblivious, and Haro's…it's hard to tell how he's feeling but his fist is trembling a lot. The most important thing to know about them is that they're wearing kilts! Yes, each of them are wearing the stereotypical Scottish garb, accompanied by the sound of bagpipes being played…somewhere.)

Red Mic: Hey, who's playing that, zako? Could someone stop it?

(There is the sound of a record screeching to a halt as the bagpipe music ends abruptly. This, of course, allows the catcalls of the audience to be heard.)

Various Audience members: Woo-hoo! Hot stuff! Nice legs! (And so on, and so forth…)

(The screen freezes.)

Announcer: Now, it's time to send in your votes, lucky viewers! Be sure to put in one contestant per category! The categories are;

Best Strength

Best Speed

Best Form

Best Looks

Best Smile

Best Voice

Best Eyes

Best Talent

Best Style

Best Legs!

Remember, you can't nominate one contestant for two categories!

Send you votes to Cybertoy00@aol.com! Or, phone in your votes through 1-900-XXX-XXXX!

And tune in next time for when we crown…Mr. SD Gundam Force!