Super Smash Brothers Fan Fiction ❯ Why Are We Here? ❯ Red Gets A Delivery ( Chapter 2 )
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
By: tallestpurplewashere 
Non Anime: Super Smash Brothers Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 05.04.2008 | Pages: 2 | Words: 892 | Visits: 345 | Status: Work In Progress
Non Anime: Super Smash Brothers Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 05.04.2008 | Pages: 2 | Words: 892 | Visits: 345 | Status: Work In Progress
“Hurry up ladies, this ain’t no box social.” Snake said, watching his two privates run up to him.
“No, but if it was, you’d go away for a few hours.” Falco muttered.
“What was that?”
“Nothing sir.”
“Quit yer yabberin’, Falcon... Does anyone wanna know why—“
“It’s Falco sir.”
“I said quit it! Goddang it, private, interrupt me again, and I’ll have Fox here slit your throat while you’re asleep.”
“Oh-ho, I’d do it too.” Fox grinned.
“I know you would Fox ... good man. Few things here today girls, command has seen to fit increase our rank—“
“Crap we’re getting a rookie.”
“...”
“...”
“Fox, I want you to poison Falcon’s next meal.”
“Y’sir.” Fox saluted.
“Least you were right, dead man, our new recruit will be here within the week, but today we received the first part of our shipment from Command.” Snake turned away, and Fox and Falco looked at each other in confusion, “Meta Knight, bring out the vehicle.”
A blue haired man (1) drove over a hill with a dark green jeep, (“Shotgun!” “Shotgun! Fuck!”) turning and stopping close to the other three men before he got out and headed to the base. “This is our new automotive transportation unit, with four inch armour plating, mounted machine gunner position and seating for three. Ladies, may I present to you the M12-LRV!”
“M12-LRV is a long word to say in conversation don’t you think?” Falco commented, gaining the other two’s attention.
“What do you mean?” Fox asked.
“I mean, if we ever were being chased by, I dunno, zombies or something, who’d want to say ‘Hurry, get into the M12-LRV!’ or ‘Ohmygod he broke the M12-LRV!’ or even ‘Holy shit! That’s some sweet M12-LRV!’ seriously, you’d have to be a jackass.”
(“Jackass”, Fox muttered)
“Hm. I see your point.” Snake scratched his chin in thought. “Ok how about this! The Atomic Mega-Superblaster 6000!”
“Uh, sir..”
“The Unstoppable Death-Bringer Machine ... 24,961!”
“That just makes it longer-“
“The Automatic Killing Bullet User of Incomprehensible Demise!”
“I don’t think he gets it.”
“The Warthog!”
“I like that, let’s keep that one.” Falco interjected immediately.
“Why the Warthog sir?” Fox asked.
“S’my favourite animal.” Snake said proudly, then glanced at his right hand man. “No offense Fox.”
“None taken, sir.”
-
Pit looked over Ike’s shoulder squinting slightly, “What is that thing?”
Ike kept his eye on the scope on his sniper rifle, thinking for a moment, “I don’t know, it looks like some kind of car.” He raised his head, no longer looking through the magnifier, “We have to go back to the base and report it.”
“A car? Is it the black one that when you grab it something takes over and you get filled with wild power that forces you to go around uncontrollably killing everyone in your path?” (2)
“What? No man, it looks more like a—wait, there a car like that?”
“I don’t know, I think I might’ve dreamt it.”
Ike looked through the sniper again, “You have fucked up dreams... and it looks like...I dunno, something with a long name.”
“...what, like The Ultimate Destroyer of Happiness 36,000?”
“Yeah man, there you go.”
-
“Oh come on, there’s no way it’s that hard.”
Standing back on top of the base, Fox and Falco once again (supposedly) being the lookouts.
“I’m telling you it is! I tried to practice, but I don’t know, I think it’s supposed to be a gift or something, one of those things that people can do only if they’re born with it.” Fox said.
"No way," Falco snorted.
"Yes way! Look I'll prove it, you try, if you get it I'll do your work for a month."
The orange-clad solider considered it for about .00023 seconds “Ok.”
"Ok, go!"
Falco cleared his throat, thinking for the only second he was allowed, Fox stared at him, “...The Deadly Machine Gun of Doom!”
“...”
“...”
“...HAHAHA!” Fox broke out in hysterical laughter, nearly dropping his gun and slapping his knee.
Falco turned a bright red (or at least as bright red as a bird covered with feathers can go), "It wasn't that bad." he muttered, sighing as Fox didn't stop.
Moments later the private finally slowed down, wiping a tear from his eye, "I told you, no one but Snake can think of names like that so fast."
"Pfft, like I'd wanna do something that stupid anyway."
Still giggling, Fox tried to stop completely, "Deadly machine Gun of Doom..."
“No, but if it was, you’d go away for a few hours.” Falco muttered.
“What was that?”
“Nothing sir.”
“Quit yer yabberin’, Falcon... Does anyone wanna know why—“
“It’s Falco sir.”
“I said quit it! Goddang it, private, interrupt me again, and I’ll have Fox here slit your throat while you’re asleep.”
“Oh-ho, I’d do it too.” Fox grinned.
“I know you would Fox ... good man. Few things here today girls, command has seen to fit increase our rank—“
“Crap we’re getting a rookie.”
“...”
“...”
“Fox, I want you to poison Falcon’s next meal.”
“Y’sir.” Fox saluted.
“Least you were right, dead man, our new recruit will be here within the week, but today we received the first part of our shipment from Command.” Snake turned away, and Fox and Falco looked at each other in confusion, “Meta Knight, bring out the vehicle.”
A blue haired man (1) drove over a hill with a dark green jeep, (“Shotgun!” “Shotgun! Fuck!”) turning and stopping close to the other three men before he got out and headed to the base. “This is our new automotive transportation unit, with four inch armour plating, mounted machine gunner position and seating for three. Ladies, may I present to you the M12-LRV!”
“M12-LRV is a long word to say in conversation don’t you think?” Falco commented, gaining the other two’s attention.
“What do you mean?” Fox asked.
“I mean, if we ever were being chased by, I dunno, zombies or something, who’d want to say ‘Hurry, get into the M12-LRV!’ or ‘Ohmygod he broke the M12-LRV!’ or even ‘Holy shit! That’s some sweet M12-LRV!’ seriously, you’d have to be a jackass.”
(“Jackass”, Fox muttered)
“Hm. I see your point.” Snake scratched his chin in thought. “Ok how about this! The Atomic Mega-Superblaster 6000!”
“Uh, sir..”
“The Unstoppable Death-Bringer Machine ... 24,961!”
“That just makes it longer-“
“The Automatic Killing Bullet User of Incomprehensible Demise!”
“I don’t think he gets it.”
“The Warthog!”
“I like that, let’s keep that one.” Falco interjected immediately.
“Why the Warthog sir?” Fox asked.
“S’my favourite animal.” Snake said proudly, then glanced at his right hand man. “No offense Fox.”
“None taken, sir.”
-
Pit looked over Ike’s shoulder squinting slightly, “What is that thing?”
Ike kept his eye on the scope on his sniper rifle, thinking for a moment, “I don’t know, it looks like some kind of car.” He raised his head, no longer looking through the magnifier, “We have to go back to the base and report it.”
“A car? Is it the black one that when you grab it something takes over and you get filled with wild power that forces you to go around uncontrollably killing everyone in your path?” (2)
“What? No man, it looks more like a—wait, there a car like that?”
“I don’t know, I think I might’ve dreamt it.”
Ike looked through the sniper again, “You have fucked up dreams... and it looks like...I dunno, something with a long name.”
“...what, like The Ultimate Destroyer of Happiness 36,000?”
“Yeah man, there you go.”
-
“Oh come on, there’s no way it’s that hard.”
Standing back on top of the base, Fox and Falco once again (supposedly) being the lookouts.
“I’m telling you it is! I tried to practice, but I don’t know, I think it’s supposed to be a gift or something, one of those things that people can do only if they’re born with it.” Fox said.
"No way," Falco snorted.
"Yes way! Look I'll prove it, you try, if you get it I'll do your work for a month."
The orange-clad solider considered it for about .00023 seconds “Ok.”
"Ok, go!"
Falco cleared his throat, thinking for the only second he was allowed, Fox stared at him, “...The Deadly Machine Gun of Doom!”
“...”
“...”
“...HAHAHA!” Fox broke out in hysterical laughter, nearly dropping his gun and slapping his knee.
Falco turned a bright red (or at least as bright red as a bird covered with feathers can go), "It wasn't that bad." he muttered, sighing as Fox didn't stop.
Moments later the private finally slowed down, wiping a tear from his eye, "I told you, no one but Snake can think of names like that so fast."
"Pfft, like I'd wanna do something that stupid anyway."
Still giggling, Fox tried to stop completely, "Deadly machine Gun of Doom..."