Supernatural Fan Fiction ❯ Zhai'helleva, Ashke ❯ The Kids Are All Right ( Chapter 2 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Chapter 2
 
She rolls the window down
And she
Talks over the sound
Of the cars that pass us by,
And I don't know why,
But she's changed my mind.
 
Stanford was smaller than Sam thought it would be. Not that it was small, by any means. In fact, it was probably bigger than one or two of the Connecticut towns he'd lived in.
 
But somehow, ever since he'd gotten that fateful letter—ever since he'd slit the envelope open with shaking fingers and unfolded the paper inside to read the first line and broken into giddy laughter at the words it contained—well, he'd sort of expected it to be larger than life, a little. Expected it to be as big and bright and all-encompassing as the future it held for him.
 
But when he found out that Stanford was really nothing more than a cluster of buildings and lawns and courtyards—when he realized that his dream was, in fact, much smaller than he'd imagined—he felt oddly glad. It made Stanford, and the future, and his life, into something he could rise above, something he could conquer.
 
And that, more than anything—more than being accepted to college, more even than escaping the hunt—that gave him hope.
 
Would you look at her?
She looks at me.
She's got me thinking about her constantly,
But she don't know how I feel,
And as she carries on without a doubt,
I wonder if she's figured out
I'm crazy for this girl.
 
As he unpacked, Sam wondered about her.
 
It happened a lot—had been ever since the day he'd left town with his family. He wondered what she was doing at given moments, whether she had a new guy in her life, how disgusted she was with him on a scale of one to a billion.
 
She would be starting college this year, too—maybe her first semester had already begun. She could be anywhere in the world right now, and he supposed any hope he'd had of finding her again—whatever small ray of hope there'd been—was gone now.
 
Sam knew he had no right to be feeling sorry for himself like this. He'd only been at Stanford less than a day and already life was looking better than it ever had. He was getting an education, could get a real, live day job, could be a person now, and he was grateful for the chance, he really was.
 
But it didn't stop him from thinking about the girl.
 
She was the one to hold me
The night
The sky fell down.
And what was I thinking when
The world didn't end?
Why didn't I know what I know now?
 
Sam realized only now that he'd been in love with her the whole time. Oh, he'd always liked her, of course—she'd been the best friend he'd ever had, quite apart from anything else. He'd regarded any moment spent without her as a moment wasted, and he'd felt…normal…in her company. She'd been the one to listen to him when he felt the need to talk about…well, what little he could talk about, anyway…and she'd never pushed when he couldn't tell her everything.
 
So yes, she'd always meant the world to him.
 
But only now, after they'd already been separated, when it was far too late—only now did he see the truth, understand the depth of his own feelings.
 
And he was completely, utterly, heartily sick of irony.
 
Would you look at her?
She looks at me.
She's got me thinking about her constantly,
But she don't know how I feel.
And as she carries on without a doubt,
I wonder if she's figured out
I'm crazy for this girl.
 
In all the time he'd been thinking of her, it had never occurred to Sam, not for a single second, that he would see her again.
 
It just wasn't the way things worked in his world. When Sam Winchester left people behind, it was for good and always, and there was no doubt about his leaving the girl behind. He'd done it, he wasn't going to see her again, and no more said.
 
And maybe it was even better that way. Being close to Sam Winchester was never the safest thing, and he'd learned a long time ago to cut himself off as much as possible. So maybe it was better that they'd been separated. It was almost certainly safer for her.
 
Only now, the usual rationalizations—the platitudes he'd always used to comfort himself whenever he found himself alone again—they didn't work. Not this time. Not with this person. He couldn't use empty words on himself this time—she was too important.
 
But he would just have to deal. He wasn't ever going to see her again. The world didn't work that way, and life wasn't a fairy tale. She was gone.
 
Sam honestly believed it.
 
Until he walked into his Art History class and saw her sitting in the front row.
 
Right now,
Face to face,
All my fears
Pushed aside,
And right now
I'm ready to spend the rest of my life
With you.
 
Naturally all the seats were filled and the professor was starting the class by the time Sam got his mind wrapped around this inconceivable sight, and so he was forced to go to the back row and spend the next hour completely ignoring his first-ever college lecture in favor of straining to catch a glimpse of what had to be either a mistake or an apparition.
 
He followed her when the class let out, his brain clamoring so loudly as to reduce the loud voices of his classmates to nothing more than low hums.
 
She couldn't be here. It simply wasn't possible. The real world didn't work like that, damn it! It couldn't happen, it shouldn't happen, it would change everything, would twist everything, and though he wanted it to be true so badly it just wouldn't fit.
 
It was impossible, improbable, unthinkable.
 
And yet…
 
Here he was, forced to think it.
 
He still hadn't gotten a leash on himself by the time he caught up to her, and his hand shook violently when he reached out to catch her shoulder.
 
She turned, smiling politely, to face hi. Abruptly, her smile began to fade into a look of confusion, and her whole body gave an odd little jerk, like she was trying to shake something off.
 
Sam whispered his disbelief, his voice heavy with it.
 
“Jessica.”
 
Would you look at her?
She looks at me.
She's got me thinking about her constantly,
But she don't know how I feel.
And as she carries on without a doubt,
I wonder if she's figured out
I'm crazy for this girl.
I'm crazy for this girl.
 
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Author's Note: Okay, so these first few were always destined to be short, rather boring set-up chapters, while Sam was being emo and all. But things should liven up now. I hope.
 
Oh, and also—for all you Dean lovers who have been bummed about his lack of appearance in this story…don't worry, it's not forever! I promise.