Tales Of Eternia Fan Fiction ❯ Tales of Comedy ❯ Spam? ( Chapter 5 )

TALES OF SYMPHONIA: WTF?!

CHAPTER V

K.E.: I’M BACK!!!! And… GUESS WHAT?!?!

Everyone: *sigh* What……?

K.E.: Zelos is gonna DIE! *GASPERZ*

Everyone except Zelos & K.E. (Who was too busy gaspin’): YAY!

Sheena: I’LL KILL YOU!!!

Zelos: *running* WHY MUST PRETTY BOYS DIE YOUNG?!?!?!

Genis: Because you look like a girl!

Zelos: SO DO YOU!!! YYIIPPEESS!!!!!! *ducks an ElEcTrIcItY card! OH NO!*

Neko-chan: What’d he do?

K.E.: He was Zelos… and Zelos-like things…

Neko-chan: I see…

Zelos: NOOOOOOOO!!! I DON’T LIKE SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMM!!!

Hungry: Sheena has Spam cards? KEWL!

B.W.P.: I want a spam card… ;_;

Lloyd: Where’d you come from?!

Zelos: EXCLAMATION!!!!

Sheena: ANGRY EXCLAMATION!!!!

B.W.P.: I don’t know…

K.E.: O.k. ANYWAY!!!

Raine (who now is Steve Irwin because I SAY SO): Would ya look at that?! The predator has cornered her prey! The prey has nowhere to run! Are you gettin’ this Genis?!

Genis: *Holding a video camera* Yes Ma’am…

Raine: Crickey! The female has rejected the mating song of the male (Hey, beautiful!) and is going to attack!

K.E.: LIKE A TASMANIAN DEVIL!!!!

Raine: That’s right! Except they don’t sing…

K.E.: If they did… it’d be creepy…

Zelos: *cornered and whimpering*

Sheena: *Has him cornered and is growling*

K.E.: NO! Stop! Don’t kill ‘im!

Sheena: GIMME ONE REASON!!!

K.E.: Well… he looks kinda like Kurama so… you can’t kill him… I’m the authoress anyway…

Zelos: ^_^ BUD!!!! *Does the ZELOS HUG© on K.E.*

Lloyd: YAY!!!! I’M NOT HIS BUD NO MORE!!! *does a happy dance!*

Gir: *pops in* YAYAYAYAYAYAY!!!! *Joins him*

Stimpy: *pops in* Let me join you! *Joins*

Zelos & K.E.: STIMPY!!!! X3 WE LOVE YOU!!!!

Stimpy: Want my autograph?

K.E. & Zelos: YEAH!!! *Get his autograph* YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!!!!!

K.E.: ANYWAY!!! Back to the situation at hand… DON’T HUG ME!!!

Zelos: Why not, bud?

K.E.: Cause your gonna do something creepy…

Zelos: Like this?

K.E.: (!) MAKE IT STOP!!! GET OFF!!!! AAAAHHH!!! *Runs around screaming with Zelos latched on her back… yes… he‘s still doing the hug thing*

Zelos: High ho, Silver. AWAY!!!

Raine: Crickey!

Genis: *still holding the camera*

Lloyd & Colette: I don’t get it. What’s he doing?

Kratos: (!) YOUNG EYES! *shields the youngens eye’s*

Genis, Lloyd, Colette, Hungry, AND SOMETIMES Y!: *Have eyes covered*

Kratos: Can’t… reach… Presea!

Presea: I’m 28!

Regal: *Alive… FOR ONE MOMENT!!!* Oh yeah, AND I’M THE POPE!!!! (An inside joke to myself… HAR HAR) *Gets killed by Neko-chan*

K.E.: Ha ha! ACK! STOP DOIN’ THAT!!!

Zelos: NEVAH!!!

Hungry: Neko-chan why aren’t you doing anything?!

Neko-chan: The ABSOLUTE DESTRUCTION (Ha ha) of Regal is first priority!!!

K.E.: I AGREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Zelos: THE PRECIOUSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Zelos ~Serious Arrange~: *Starts playing*

Zelos: AUGH!

K.E.: MY FAV SONG!!!

Zelos: But I betray you there!! (don’t remind me of his death… I SAID DON’T!)

K.E.: I know… I WAS SO SAD!!! But you got to be with Pronyma? Isn’t that good? For you I mean because…… yuck!

Zelos: *Shudder* It was actually… REGAL IN THAT OUTFIT!!!!

Neko-chan: *Looks at the remains of Regal* A TWO-FOR-ONE SPECIAL!!!

Everyone: YAY!!!!

Zelos: *Starts to sob* I was so scawed! ;_;

K.E.: Aww it’s o.k. It’s o.k.

Everyone: *stare*

K.E.: WOULDN’T YOU NEED COMFORTING IF THAT HAPPENED?!

Everyone: … *Shudder*

Mithos: *pops in* I saw Pronyma about 2 seconds ago! *pops out*

Zelos: O.O WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!

Pronyma: Hello!

Everyone: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!

Neko-chan: *First to regain MUST KILL mode* DIE MORTAL… I mean… PRONYMA!!!!

Pronyma: *Dies*

Weird Narrator… guy: And there was much rejoicing

Everyone: *Half-hearted* yay…

Weird Narrator… guy: and they did a little dance…>.>

Hungry: Gir! *Shakes finger* GASP! BAD FINGER!!!!

Weird Narrator… guy: No… I am not Gir… I am Weird Narrator… guy

Hungry: Whatever…

K.E.: ANYWAY!!! Our POINT?!

Colette: We have a point?

K.E.: YOU STILL EXIST? You didn’t talk much…

Colette: THAT’S BECAUSE I WAS FISHIN‘!!!! ^_^

K.E.: K…

Lloyd: I wanna go fishin’…

Weird Narrator… guy: Me too…

K.E.: OUR POINT DAMMIT!!!!

Neko-chan: *who is currently dancing on Pronyma/Regal’s remains* You wanted Zelos off you… *NOW IT’S A JIG!*

K.E.: Oh yeah… OFF ME! *Resumes running around & screaming*

Hungry: Hey, K.E.

K.E.: Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees? (Like that guy from the SIMPSONS!)

Hungry: There’s a spider in your hair…

K.E.: ………O.O AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!! *Runs around screaming, Zelos STILL latched on…*

Neko-chan: Hey Zelos why don’t you take it off of her…

Zelos: o.k. *takes the spider & throws it*

Colette: *catches the spider* GASP!!! SPIDER-SAN?! Are you o.k.?!

K.E.: O.o k… Zelos! Thank you!

Zelos: Now, gimme a kiss…

K.E.:

Zelos: *Now has NO ARMS!* (!) I CAN’T FEEL MY ARMS!!!

Sheena: good!

Zelos: but now I can’t @#*#%&^&*^@&$#

All girls except Colette who didn’t understand:

Zelos: *now a bloody heap on the floor* waaaaahh!!

K.E.: O.k. enough… *Heals*

Everyone: *stares*

K.E.: Hey! Kratos, Zelos, & Regal can heal…

Hungry: (!) I got an idea! Raine!

Raine: Hmm?

Hungry: Cast purify on Zelos! Maybe he won’t be perverted anymore!

Raine: Alright… Purify!

Zelos: Oh… MY PURPOSE IN LIFE! GGOONNEE!!!!!! *Starts sobbing*

K.E.: You’re purpose in life?

Zelos: *slowly turns* BUD! Save me! *Latches on*

K.E.: GET OFF!!! *Runs around some more…*

Kratos: he must not be that heavy…

Raine: ‘e’s like a leech!

Lloyd: I’m leaving…

Colette: Oh! I want to come to! Come along Spider-san!

Spider-san: *scuttle*

K.E.: *pauses to watch Spider-san*

Band of Vikings: *Walk through* Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spamity, Spam, I love Spam!

Neko-chan: O.O now I’m scared…

K.E.: I think it’s time to end the chapter!

MINI THEATER:

Genis vs. Sheena:

Genis: You're gonna regret this...

Sheena: Time to die!

Genis: May the merciless embrace of frost take thee. Absolute!

Sheena: Uh oh…

Genis: So, so sad

Sheena: This can’t be good…

Genis: Not over!

Sheena: we’re in trouble!

Genis: I'll show you your powerlessness... Indignation Judgment!

Sheena: Damn…

Genis: Man, that was pathetic!

GENIS WINS!!! (In case you couldn’t tell…)