Teen Titans Fan Fiction ❯ Dreams And Destinies ❯ Lyllandra's Bane ( Chapter 5 )

Chapter 5

Lyllandra's Bane

 

Starfire waited till Robin was around the corner before knocking on Raven's door. There was, of course, no answer but Starfire wasn't having any of that. She called loudly, “Raven whether you like it or not I am coming in. We need to discuss what happened.” She waited a moment for a response but when none came she opened the door and went inside.

Raven was sitting on the edge of her bed, looking out her window. She did not acknowledge Starfire at all. Starfire sat right beside Raven on her bed; an act that would normally piss Raven right off but she still said nothing. Starfire opened her mouth to speak but Raven beat her to it.

“Is she hurt?” she asked simply.

“Not physically no…she is fine.” Starfire answered.

“Good.” Raven said quietly. She still had not looked at Starfire.

“Are you really glad she is unharmed?” Starfire asked. She knew she was being bold (which was something, especially with Raven, that she was not known for) but she also knew that Raven's actions were unacceptable. And because she knew that Raven would not talk easily, she would have to be daring in what she said to get a response. And she got one.

“Maybe I am…and maybe I'm not…I'm not really sure.” Raven sounded unusually confused. Starfire grew more concerned.

“Why do you not like Lyllandra? She is a very nice person and gets along with everyone wonderfully so far except you. Robin told us that you believe she is lying about something important but he does not believe that she is a threat to us. I agree with him.”

“Then go be her friend and leave me alone!” Raven snapped. She stood up from the bed and walked to the far side of the room.

“Raven.” Starfire also stood up. “There is something you are not telling us. Something you sense or feel that is making you act not like yourself. Robin would say that if your feelings are so out of control that they are endangering others that is time to get them out into the open.”

Raven knew Starfire was right. “I know Starfire. I know I've been acting strangely and I've been totally unfair to Lyllandra.” She took a keep breath. “It's just that ever since she arrived here, it's like all my emotions are coming to the surface. Everything I've tried so hard to maintain is falling apart.”

“And you believe she is somehow responsible for this?”

“Not exactly. It's like…Robin told you how I said she's lying about something right?” Starfire nodded. “Whatever it is, is such a huge lie that it's taking all her energy to hold it in. It's creating an aura that's interfering with my chakra. I'm having trouble keeping my emotions in check. Meditation isn't helping as much because every time I try to block it out, I can't help thinking about what she could be hiding.”

Starfire nodded in understanding. “I see the problem. And you believe that her lie, even if she means us no direct harm, could end up hurting us.”

“Exactly.” Raven looked at Starfire shocked. It was the first time she felt that someone else understood her (well except for Malchior and that bugger didn't count). She could actually feel tears brewing in her eyes and she shut them in frustration. She didn't cry damnit!

Starfire saw the tears but knew that bringing attention to them would only anger Raven. Instead she switched tactics slightly. “What about just now Raven? Did you feel that Lyllandra said something that wasn't true?” Starfire had an idea she knew what the problem was (she felt like she'd known for a while) but she wanted to hear Raven say it.

Raven saw the look in Starfire's eyes and knew the proverbial gig was up. She wasn't sure she could hide the feeling anymore anyway. Anger, hatred, fear, all those she could handle. But jealousy? That was a feeling she was definitely NOT used to. And being unable to meditate she could no longer keep it under control.

“It's just….” She tried to start but finding the words was very hard for her. Luckily for her, Starfire was still feeling bold.

“It's just that when you heard about how she and Beast Boy stayed up all night together talking, you became very jealous because that's something you've always longed to do.”

Raven looked defiantly at Starfire but the look quickly melted to one of resignation. “How long have you known?”

“You are very good at hiding your emotions Raven. But even you could not stop yourself from staring at him, or blushing when he touched you. And even though the boys do not notice this, most likely because they are boys, I am your friend and a girl. We girls notice these things you know.” Starfire put a hand on Raven's shoulder. “I can see how he affects you.”

“I don't even know why.” Raven let out a pathetic laugh that was very close to a sob. “Every stupid joke he makes and every silly pun, outside I'm calling him names but inside I'm laughing so hard I can hardly breath. He's so immature but at the same time…” She sighed long and hard. “I don't know why I'm even admitting this. The feelings wouldn't even be so strong if it wasn't for that girl's lie. Once I get her to admit whatever it is she's hiding, then things should go back to normal and it won't be so hard for me.”

“I do not think that is correct.” Starfire said shaking her head. “Now that the truth has come out, you will not be able to just shove the feeling away. If you love Beast Boy that much, then you must tell him.”

“What?” Raven looked at Starfire incredulously. “And risk with him what almost happened with you and Robin?”

Starfire's face darkened for a brief moment. “Robin and I were complicated. He said he loved me but he never…acted like a boyfriend. It was always about work and it got to be that nothing I did was ever good enough. He was constantly worried that I would get hurt. It was as if he stopped trusting me to take care of myself. All I'd wanted since I met him was to be with him. But once I was, suddenly I didn't want to be anymore. I thought I loved him but going out on dates became a chore I was not looking forward to. I found myself longing for the days when we would just do the `hanging out' all of us together as friends. I'm glad we were able to go back to that.” She looked at Raven and saw her own fear and pain over what happened reflected back at her. “Raven, Beast Boy is a totally different person than Robin, and you are as different from me as night from day. What happened with Robin and I will not necessarily happen with you and Beast Boy.”

“How can you be sure of that?” Raven almost pleaded for an answer.

“I cannot.” Starfire replied simply. “Nor can you. When emotions are involved to such a degree as this I do not think that anyone can be sure of anything. You just have to follow your heart and see where it leads you.”

“That is incredibly sappy.”

“True nonetheless.”

“What if Beast Boy doesn't feel the way I do?” Raven's voice grew very quiet. “It hasn't been all that terribly long since the stuff that happened with Terra. What if he hasn't forgotten about her?”

“Beast Boy cared for Terra that's true. It is possible he will never totally forget her. However, you and Beast Boy had a connection long before Terra ever came into the picture.” At Raven's shocked look; “You denied it to the best of your ability Raven but it was there. We all felt it. Including Beast Boy. He will not have forgotten it so easily I guarantee you.”

Raven didn't want to admit it but Starfire's words were actually making her feel better. It was such a nice and `different' feeling knowing someone understood. She had always considered herself to be a good listener but now she was the one who needed to be listened to. And though she had always considered Starfire to be one of her very best friends, the way she always showed exactly what she was feeling just showed Raven what she couldn't have. They were so different and yet she realized that she had the same emotions as Starfire, even if she had to keep them in check so as to keep Titan Tower and the whole world intact. And when she needed those feelings to be understood…

“Thank you… Starfire. I really did need to get that off my chest. I….appreciate you listening to me.” The words were difficult but she forced them out anyway. Starfire beamed and impulsively hugged Raven. Raven froze for an instant but that didn't stop her from hugging her friend back. But as is usually the case with Raven, the darkness was not far away. She pulled back and said, “Okay I got that part about Beast Boy out. What about Lyllandra? Her energy is still making it hard to me to keep my emotions in check.”

“Then we will speak with Lyllandra. If you tell her how her lie is affecting you, she will not be so eager to hide it. I'm sure she does not want to cause you pain.” Starfire looked immensely pleased with herself for dealing with the situation so effectively. Raven hid a grin and walked towards the door.

“You're probably right. I'll go to the kitchen and talk to her.”

“Oh.” Starfire suddenly remembered. “She is no longer in the kitchen. A strange mark has appeared on her finger and she went with Cyborg to the medibay to have it looked at. Robin headed there the same time I came here.”

“I see.” Raven raised an eyebrow. She was at the same time concerned for what might be happening to Lyllandra and intrigued that Robin seemed to be showing such an interest in her welfare. Especially since she knew something the others didn't. “He's definitely showing a lot of concern for her isn't he?”

“It's true. He has been acting strangely for a while now but it's gotten even worse since Lyllandra arrived. His was a much different reaction than yours though I think.” Starfire's look said it all. She could see the effect Lyllandra was having on her friend/ex-boyfriend.

“How do you feel about that?” Raven asked not thinking.

“I am okay with it.” Starfire answered truthfully. When she first noticed Robin's reaction to Lyllandra, she had expected to be jealous but that feeling didn't come. She genuinely liked Lyllandra and if Robin had interests other than friendship in her, Starfire was very happy for him.

“You noticed too huh?” Raven asked.

“I think you would have to be a Glorbanian muck beetle with mud in its eyes not to notice.” Starfire answered slyly.

Raven couldn't help but smile as they walked out her bedroom door and down the hallway. She of course knew more about Robin's dilemma with Lyllandra than Starfire but being a true friend, she couldn't tell. She hadn't told Robin yet either but she knew Lyllandra was having the same dream as him. Or at least 95 sure. Being empathic and a partial mind reader she couldn't help but know. And because Lyllandra was putting all of her energy into hiding the other secret, whatever it was, she had left the proverbial door wide open on that one. But she would let them figure it out for themselves. She had bigger problems to worry about.

They had almost reached the medibay doors when an alarm went off. Cyborg came running out of the medibay doors and past them in the hallway. A few seconds later Robin came charging out after him. He skidded to a halt when he saw the girls. “There's trouble downtown. The same spot where we found Lyllandra.”

Starfire turned to leave but Robin stopped Raven. “You have something to work out with Lyllandra. Stay with her and keep her safe.” Raven began to protest but a look from Robin silenced her. She turned moodily back to the medibay doors as Robin and Starfire ran off in the other direction down the hallway. As they passed Beast Boy's door it opened and a very bleary eyed changeling stuck his head out.

“What the heck is going on?” He said rubbing his eyes.

“Trouble Beast Boy. Let's go.” Robin and Starfire ran straight past him.

“Awww man.” Beast Boy whined. “I was having the greatest dream too.” He turned into an eagle and flew off behind them.

By the time Raven reached the medibay doors the alarm had stopped. She stopped in front of the doors, hesitant to enter. She had no idea what she would say to Lyllandra. She was a second away from turning around and following the others when she suddenly got the feeling that something was wrong. She leaned in close to the door and could hear a small sound, almost like a whimpering. She stayed perfectly still by the door and could distinctly hear soft sobbing coming from behind it. Lyllandra was crying! Raven forgot about her awkward feelings and walked into the room. Lyllandra was sitting on the exam table, her back to Raven. She clutched her right hand in her left and she was hunched over crying. Raven found it hard to believe that Robin would leave her in this state. “She must have waited until they left before breaking down.” Raven felt the small bud of respect begin to bloom. She could understand. She walked to the table and gently placed a hand on Lyllandra's shoulder. Lyllandra jumped like she had been shot. She whipped around and looked for a few moments like she didn't know who it was. When she recognized Raven she instinctively shrunk down and Raven could see slight fear in her eyes. She cursed her actions and her inability to control herself.

“It's okay Lyllandra I'm not going to hurt you.” Raven tried to speak as calmly as she could but Lyllandra's aura was so strong and being this close to her was making it really hard for Raven to keep control.

Lyllandra heard the sincerity in Raven's voice and she felt a little of her fear going away but she could not stop the tears from pouring down her face and she clutched her hand even tighter to her chest.

“What's the matter with your hand?” Raven made to pry Lyllandra's hand away. She tried to resist at first but ultimately allowed Raven to take her right hand. Raven couldn't suppress a shocked look. A dark black ring of…something around the base of Lyllandra's middle finger. It looked like a ring had been worn there and some of the plating had rubbed off. But she knew that the mark had never been there before and she could tell just by looking at it that it hadn't started off this bad.

“Has Cyborg been able to figure out what this is?” Raven, not used to displays of emotion like this, desperately needed Lyllandra to calm down.

Lyllandra wanted to answer but she was afraid. More afraid now than she had been when she first realized she wasn't in `Kansas' anymore. She had been the closest thing to elated she had ever been when she realized that here in this world, for whatever reason, her cancer was no more. She had even begun to entertain the idea of not going back. Of staying here in Jump City where she could be close to….her new friends. She knew that what she was feeling was strange and didn't make any sense. She hadn't been here even 48 hours and the crazy dream that had haunted her sleeping hours was still with her but she felt a definite connection to the people inhabiting this strange place. Especially a certain guy who, as far as she could tell, never took that damn mask off. And even more bizarre, she had started getting the feeling that somewhere deep down; he had begun to feel that connection too.

But whether it was real or just wishful thinking on her part didn't matter. Whatever was going on between her and the others was all in jeopardy. Cyborg had thought perhaps that she was having a reaction to something that didn't agree with her. Something she ate or had touched. That could be the only explanation for the dark mark on her finger. Lyllandra knew better however. She remembered having dark blotches on her skin once before. And although this time she hadn't felt sick for a few weeks before the first mark appeared, she knew that this mark could mean only one thing. Her cancer was back.

But she couldn't tell Cyborg and Robin that. She'd tried so hard to keep the secret. To not look too long at herself in the mirror or to look so excited when she was able to fit into a size six in a department store. Not that they would believe her anyway. Who would? She had just managed to convince herself that she may have a chance at a happy life but now she knew that her believing had been in vain. The horrible disease she had fought for so long had not only torn her away from her family in her world. It was going to tear her away from her new friends and from…him. No longer caring that her feelings for Robin made no sense, she ripped her hand away from Raven and buried her face. She felt very alone. She was so frightened and she couldn't tell anyone about it….no one would believe her. Or so she thought.

“Whatever you're hiding Lyllandra if it's so bad that it's making you cry then you should probably just get it out in the open.” Raven said, partially echoing Starfire's advice to her.

Lyllandra looked at Raven stunned. “How did you know….”? She checked herself. “That I have no idea what you're talking about?”

“Well I am practically psychic you know.” Raven walked around the table until she was in front of Lyllandra and took a seat in a nearby chair. “It's not that I read your mind or anything, not that I wasn't tempted. Whatever you're hiding is huge and it was disrupting my centre. Incidentally, that's why I've been so nasty with you since you've arrived. I didn't really mean too but…” She quickly explained the importance of keeping her emotions under control and how the aura created by Lyllandra's lie had hindered that. Lyllandra stopped crying and listened with a horrified look on her face.

“I didn't know.”

“There's no way you could have. It's not like I told you…or anyone really. I was unfair to you Lyllandra and…I'm sorry.” The last was sincere and obviously hard for her to say and Lyllandra felt the last of her fear leave her.

“Apology accepted but…” She tried to gather herself together. “It probably doesn't matter anymore about what I've been hiding. It was all wrong anyway. I thought it had gone away but I was wrong.”

Raven thought she was talking about her dream and its connection to Robin. “Now that you know it's not gone away, what are you going to do about it?”

“What can I do about it!” Lyllandra practically yelled. “I couldn't do anything about it in my world and unless this world has developed a miracle cure for cancer then I'm just as screwed here!”

“What?” Raven was visibly taken aback. Lyllandra had cancer? “Oh my God.” Raven thought to herself, now feeling really lousy about the way she had treated Lyllandra. “That would explain why the secret seemed so large.” Out loud she tried to sound as comforting as was possible for her. “I think maybe you should tell me what was really going on in your world Lyllandra.” Lyllandra hesitated and for a long moment Raven thought she wasn't going to say anything at all but then it all came out.

Lyllandra wasn't planning on saying much, only the necessary information. But once her mouth opened she couldn't stop. Everything that had happened since the day she was diagnosed came out like her mouth was a dam and someone had just blown a big hole in it. She told Raven everything. About how she had begun to feel sick and about how the dark discolourations had shown up just a few weeks later. About how she had moved back into her mother's house on her insistence. She told Raven about losing her hair, gaining a ton of weight, hardly ever leaving the house, knowing deep down inside that, despite the doctor's assurances, she was dying. Ending with the morning she had been somehow transported to this world and most importantly, why she had lied about it. Lyllandra held nothing back except seeing the ring on her father's hand in the picture. And the only reason she didn't say anything about that was because she still hadn't remembered anything about it. If she had, the mark on her finger wouldn't have scared her so.

Raven listened with rapt attention. As Lyllandra told her story, Raven could feel the thick aura dissipating and by the time she was finished talking, the aura was gone and Raven felt a lot better. She sighed long and deep and it was several seconds before she responded to Lyllandra's tale. When she did, it was with her characteristic control and logic.

“Lyllandra, you said yourself that a really sick feeling precipitated the discolourations right?” At Lyllandra's nod, “And you said you've felt wonderful since you came here. You certainly look healthy.” Raven considered for a few moments. “I think that when the others return you should tell them exactly what you told me. Especially Robin.”

“I can't!” Lyllandra pleaded. “One of the things I regret most about having cancer back in my world is that my friends, even ones I'd had for years, suddenly stopped seeing me. They started treating me like some contagious invalid who should be shut away until she recovered or died.” Lyllandra's face darkened considerably at the memory. “I know I haven't been here even two days but I like everyone here very much. I look at everyone, yes even you,” she said at Raven's raised eyebrow. “as my friends and early this morning Beast Boy even called me his friend.” Raven scowled heavily but Lyllandra did not notice. “So if it turns out I do have cancer again….I couldn't stand having you all leave me the same way everyone else did. I know it's stupid but…”

“It is stupid actually.” Raven finished. At Lyllandra's stunned look. “Lyllandra think about it. You know of our roles as protectors of the city. You know the kind of danger we face every day. Heck, you know how different we are from each other. People like us should never be friends. We're all too different in too many ways. But for all the troubles we face, and for all that our bonds of friendship have been tested,” She said this last with a thoughtful look on her face. “we've never been closer friends. If you've been lucky enough to be included in that circle, and from what I've seen and heard over the last couple days it certainly seems that you are, then you've got nothing to worry about.” Lyllandra still looked unconvinced. Raven sighed and realized that if she wanted Lyllandra to believe her, then she would have to tell a personal story to match hers.

“Lyllandra I'm going to tell you a small story about a demon named Trigon and how his daughter's friends saved her life despite her almost destroying them.” And she told Lyllandra all about her father and what had happened those few months ago. It was Lyllandra's turn to listen wide-eyed and when Raven was finished, she said,

“They risked their lives and the future of the world to save you?” Lyllandra looked thoughtful. “I see what you mean but I'm still…”

“Look, why don't we just tell Cyborg when he gets back? He can run some tests and find out once and for all. Then, if it's serious, we tell Robin and the others. If not, they never have to know….and I'll never tell unless you want me to.”

Lyllandra wiped away the last of her tears and smiled. “I think that would work. Thank you Raven.”

“Okay okay. Now that that's all settled, what say you grab a shower and a change of clothes and I'll go make breakfast. We can wait for the others to return and…..get to know each other….or something.” Not giving Lyllandra a chance to respond, Raven left the medibay in a great hurry.

 

Lyllandra smiled. Talking to Raven had given her hope that everything would turn out okay. It was a small hope, but it was there nonetheless. She decided a shower was a fabulous idea and when she was done she dressed in one of her new dresses. It was a spaghetti strap summer dress that was navy blue with large white flowers. As she did her hair in front of the mirror in her bedroom, Lyllandra couldn't help but wonder if Robin would like it.

When she came out into the common room, she found Raven sitting at the table with a couple of muffins and cups of tea. “I know it's not a fare worthy of Beast Boy but I'm not a huge breakfast person.”

“That's all right. A cup of tea sounds wonderful right now.” Lyllandra sat down at the table with Raven and they talked lightly about their respective homes (Lyllandra's pre-cancer and Raven's pre-Teen Titans.)

Raven was surprised how easy it was to talk to Lyllandra. Even though they were able to talk only about a half hour before they were interrupted, Raven swiftly came to conclusion that the others had been right all along to trust her. By the time they were interrupted, the tiny bud of respect that had been growing inside Raven had bloomed into a full-fledged friendship. And the best part was that she didn't even have to try and say anything. Like all her friends, Lyllandra just knew.

But then the interruption came. A beep from Raven's communicator indicated that Robin wanted them both downtown. Yesterday. Raven told Lyllandra to close her eyes tight and she wrapped them both in a black cocoon and rushed downtown.

When they arrived, they found the other Titans looking like they'd been put through the mill and then some. All were nursing cuts and bruises but that seemed to be the least of Robin's problems. His physical injuries were nothing compared to the rage he was feeling. Raven put Lyllandra safely on the ground, took one look at her leader Titan and gasped. “Robin no!”

Lyllandra was horrified upon seeing her new friends injured but stopped confused when Raven cried out seemingly for no reason. But she'd forgotten that Raven could read minds. And the rage Raven had read from Robin's mind could only have one cause.

“He's back.” Robin said simply. He stalked past the other Titans and stopped in front of Lyllandra. He was holding something in his hand and he held it out to her. “I think this belongs to you.” Lyllandra hesitated so he grabbed her hand with more force than was necessary and dropped the object into her palm.

Lyllandra was too shocked at first by his attitude towards her to even look at the item in her hand but when Robin's expression became even more annoyed, she looked down. In her hand, small but heavy, was a silver ring with a dark blue stone set deep into it. Lyllandra felt her breath catch in her chest. She'd seen this somewhere before but couldn't remember where. She looked at Robin for an explanation but he had already walked away from her back towards Raven. He was telling her what had happened in low tones so Lyllandra wouldn't hear. Lyllandra felt hurt. And angry. If this had something to do with her then she should know about it. Why tell her to come if they were only going to keep any news from her?

“Robin what's this about?” She asked forcefully. The other Titans looked at her somewhat shocked. They hadn't seen her this angry. Only Raven knew what it was to have Lyllandra's anger pointed in her direction and she gave Robin a look that said, `You better tell her.'

Robin responded to Lyllandra's forceful tone by making himself even larger and in her face. “What did Slade promise you huh? What did he tell you he'd give you? Power? Money? A way back home? Anything you want as long as you rid him of us huh?”