Utena, Revolutionary Girl Fan Fiction ❯ If You Like ❯ Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Utena or any of the characters in the show, however, I do own Mai and Enishi, so I can make them do whatever I want! MWA HA HA HA HA!!!!!. I'm not making any money off of this story, so please don't sue me!

Author's Note: Okay! This is my very first Utena fic ever, so please go easy on me! I'm sorry if you think people are out of character, cause they probably are, but I figure that after the series ended, people's attitudes would change because of everything that happened. This is a Touga/Utena fic, so if you don't happen to like this couple then turn away now!

*Special thanks to Vegetababe and Ekaterinn for beta-ing this!*

If You Like

Her shoes clicked quietly as she made her way down the pavement towards the huge building. A tiny sigh escaped her lips as she surveyed her surroundings. Puzzled faces stared back at her, unused to her strange ways. Utena found herself missing Ohtori Academy again, for the seventh time on this crisp spring morning. She thought of Wakaba, her best friend, and of Miki and Juri, Saionji too. They were probably laughing with friends, having completely forgotten about Tenjou Utena, who had mysteriously disappeared months ago. She even found herself missing Nanami and her manipulative brother, Touga, who had declared his undying love for her the night before she disappeared.

Bitterly, she recalled how he had once used her own feelings against her, and realized that his declaration was probably another attempt to do so. But if that was so, why did she miss him so much? It was foolish to think she had feelings for him now, after she had left. She knew she would never see him again, so what was the use? Whenever she thought about Touga though, she felt as if she could fly, but then the truth would come and send her plummeting to the ground.

There were no friends here at this new school, only strangers who seemed to delight in staring at the odd new girl in the boy's uniform. That's right, the boy's uniform. Utena had no idea why she still opted for the male attire. She was no prince, she never could be; she didn't even have a reason to be a prince anymore. Anthy no longer needed protection, for she was gone. Utena hadn't stuck around after being released from the hospital to find out what happened to her friend, thinking that Anthy had died, falling from the dueling arena.

Another soft sigh escaped her lips as she thought of Anthy. Thinking of the young Rose Bride always caused her to think of Akio-san, and his alter ego, the End of the World. He had been her prince once, her reason to live, but that prince was gone forever. What would become of her now? What did she have to keep her going? She had no friends, no family, no one to turn to. The rose signet, which had once been her inspiration, was now laying at rest at the bottom of the fishpond in a park near by; thrown in during a rather emotional fit. Thinking that all along, the End of the World was her prince disgusted her, and she could no longer bear to look at the ring.

It was an odd feeling, to be unpopular. Everyone here thought she was strange for wearing boy's clothing. Utena had only been at this new school for a week, yet she was already known around campus. Not for being cool and original though, like she was at Ohtori, she was just an oddball, a misfit, and a freak. She wanted to be cool again; she wanted people to admire and look up to her again. The young woman had never realized how shallow she could be before this moment. Although she had once found her admirers to be somewhat of an annoyance, she felt that she would give anything just to see a friendly face in the crowd. Life was funny that way.

"Damn." she cursed softly, as the school bells tolled. "I'm going to be late for class again."

***

Touga growled to himself as he dropped his suitcase in the doorway. He couldn't stand these visits home. After Utena disappeared, he found himself unable to tolerate anything that had to do with his life up to that point. He had moved away to attend a different school, in an attempt to forget the duels, the Rose Bride, everything, especially his silken haired prince. Everything in this town reminded him of Tenjou Utena, the only woman he could ever love.

In the months since Utena's disappearance, the onetime playboy president had changed drastically. Touga had withdrawn somewhat, opting for a low profile at the new academy. Frustrated, he kicked the wall near his closet, smashing a hole in the white plaster. He should have been in university right now, but after that night, after the duel called revolution, he had become depressed, and his grades had taken a plunge. Much to his displeasure, he was forced to redo the twelfth grade. He was struggling even now. Not knowing what had befallen his prince was slowly driving him to the brink of insanity. He rarely slept at night, and when he did his dreams were filled with visions of her. He couldn't concentrate during school or when he was trying to do his homework. Tests were a complete nightmare because he didn't know the material in the first place, and his mind always drew a complete blank.

It wasn't fair. The handsome playboy, Kiryuu Touga, hadn't been on a date in weeks. He could barely even look at a girl without thinking of Utena. The thought of even touching one made him sick. He began to despise all females in general, even dear little Nanami, his loyal sister. At school he was aloof and untouchable, but even that was only to keep up an image of popularity. Touga still flirted and toyed with women, but he now saw them as disgusting little creatures, only around to use as he saw fit. Utena though, she was his goddess…his goddess in god's clothing.

He spent hours-practicing Kendo, honing his skills for the day when he might meet up with the End of the World again. He would avenge his sweet Utena; he would fight and win for her. Or perhaps…perhaps he would die, and the pain of living would go away.

"Touga?" there was a soft knock on the door, then a blond head poked its way into his room. "Touga, dinner is ready." Nanami murmured. She hated this change in her beloved brother. He had become detached, and had begun to push her away. It was as if he didn't care about anything in the world at all, except for Tenjou Utena. It would be an understatement to say that Nanami was bitter, for she had never liked the girl, and now her cherished brother was in love with the pest.

"I'll be down in a minute Nanami." Touga broke the uncomfortable silence. "I just have to change out of these clothes." he had been looking out the window, but now he turned to face her, and she almost burst into tears, seeing the empty, defeated look that his eyes held. She would get that Utena some day. She would get her for destroying dearest Touga.

"So Touga, how's school going?" Mrs. Kiryuu ventured. "Are your grades improving?" Touga merely grunted in response, not in the mood to talk about the math test he had failed the other day. His mother sighed, taking a guess at what that grunt meant. She was very worried about him. It just wasn't like him to be depressed, or to fail exams. She couldn't help wondering that maybe it was her fault that he turned out like this.

"Well kids," Mr. Kiryuu spoke up, trying to break the tension in the lavish dining room. "We're going out tonight, so you two are going to be alone for a while." he motioned to his wife, who nodded.

"Have fun." Nanami smiled, while Touga nodded in affirmation. He didn't care what they did; he had never really cared. It wasn't like they were even his real parents. And Nanami's sweet little façade was beginning to get on his nerves. He resolved to spend the night either alone in his room or out of the house. Touga sighed, knowing he wouldn't have to put up with this much longer, for he had resolved to cut this little vacation short. He would leave tomorrow and go back to school.

***

"Oh there's that weird new girl." a girl with curly brown hair whispered, as Utena took her seat. "I heard that poor Mai has to room with her."

"Yeah, poor Mai." two other girls chorused.

"Mai says she has a girl's uniform." the first girl spoke again. "I don't see why she just doesn't wear it."

"Maybe because I don't want to." Utena hissed, surprising the girls. They had not known that she could hear them.

"You shouldn't eavesdrop on other people's conversations, freak. It's not nice." The curly haired one sneered.

"Maybe you should stop talking about me then." Utena retorted, trying to regain her composure. She found herself with a shorter fuse lately. It was hard to stay calm.

"Settle down class!" Came a male voice from the head of the classroom, it was the new teacher. "Please take your seats so we may begin."

"This isn't over, Tenjou." the curly haired girl sneered, taking her desk.

"Yeah, it's not over." the other two chorused, opening their books.

Utena snorted, the three girls reminding her of Nanami's little gang, which, in turn, reminded her of Touga. It was odd to think about him so much. She hadn't seen him in months, and she seriously doubted that she would ever see him again, so why was she constantly thinking of the scarlet haired duelist?

***

Touga hopped onto his motorcycle, not caring that the rain was soaking right through his leather jacket. He had to get away from his house, away from his sister. She had been pestering him all night, flinging herself onto him and hugging him constantly. Where he was going, he wasn't sure. He only knew that he couldn't stand to be near Nanami for a minute longer.

Turning down an old dirt road, he came to a stop before an old church, a place he hadn't been in ages. Parking the motorcycle under a tree in an attempt to keep it safe from the rain, he hopped off and ran towards the old building through the pouring rain. The heavy wooden doors creaked as he pushed them open, then shut again. It was nearly pitch black inside the aged structure, but the occasional flash of lightning gave off enough illumination. It wasn't as if he felt like being warm and cozy anyway. If he had wanted to be comfortable, he would have stayed at home and curled up in bed or on the couch and watched television.

Touga scowled in the darkness as he moved through the aisle between the polished wooden pews towards the front of the old church. He remembered this place well. On a sudden impulse, he lay down in the middle of the floor, looking up towards the stormy heavens through the glass skylights. It had been a night like this when he first met the young Tenjou Utena. The only things missing were three coffins and Saionji.

Saionji…Touga felt bad that he had not bothered to contact his childhood friend while in town. He did miss him, but felt too ashamed though, of what he had become. He couldn't bear the thought of facing any of the other duelists, once his subordinates, now his superiors. They were superior to him, because they had moved on after her disappearance, while he had not. He could not face them yet, maybe not ever.

Lightning crashed outside, illuminating the decrepit old church as Touga watched the front doors swing open. Someone else had just entered the building. The figure was a mere shadow in the doorway for a moment, but moved quickly through the darkness and was soon standing right in front of him.

"What a coincidence." Touga murmured, looking once more to the sky. "I was just thinking about you, Saionji."

Saionji huffed, and sat down on the cold stone floor next to his scarlet haired comrade. "Touga…your sister is worried about you. Do you have any idea what time it is?" Touga shook his head, turning back to Saionji. "It's one in the morning."

"Oh." Touga sighed. "I had no idea."

"Nanami's been calling all over the place! Everyone's worried sick about you!" Saionji's patience was wearing thin. "Look Touga, it's a school night and we all have to get to sleep, so would you just go home so your sister can stop worrying? At least call her." he held out a cellphone.

Touga nodded, and took the phone. As he was dialing the number, he realized that he had never found his old one. "Hello? Nanami? Yes, I'm fine…Call the others and then go to bed…No, I don't know when I'll be home…Goodnight Nanami." Pressing the tiny 'end' button, he handed the phone back to Saionji. "So…how'd you find me anyway?"

"I thought you might have come here. I know you've been…well, glum ever since she disappeared." Saionji muttered, and heard his friend laugh softly. Glum was an understatement

Touga smiled up at his friend. He knew Saionji was having his own troubles, dealing with the loss of Anthy. Nobody had seen her since that fateful night either. He knew Saionji had loved her, in his own twisted little way. Although it hadn't been a very healthy sort of love, it had been love none the less and Touga felt that maybe Saionji had some idea of how he was feeling. He also began to wonder too, how Miki was coping with Himemiya's disappearance, and if Juri was doing well. Perhaps he should have kept in touch with the former student council.

"Saionji…How is everyone doing here? I mean…is everyone all right? I haven't exactly kept in touch…"

"Everyone's fine. Miki was a little devastated with the loss of Anthy, but he's coping. You know Miki, he'll be fine. Juri's doing well too, she and…oh I always forget her name…Shiori? Well, they've become friends again, and I think Juri's found someone new to hold dear. She bought a new locket you know, and she put a picture of Ruka in it. I can tell she misses him, even though she didn't love him the way he would have liked her to."

"What about you? How have you been?"

"I…I'm fine Touga. There's no need to worry about me. Look, I've got to get home. I have an exam tomorrow morning and I need some sleep. Do you want a ride home or anything?"

"No, I'll be fine." Touga watched as his friend turned to leave. "Saionji?" he called, hesitantly.

"Yes?" he turned around.

"Thanks anyway."

***

Utena walked into her dorm that evening, exhausted. She knew she shouldn't be pushing herself so hard, because she was still slightly weak from her long stay in the hospital.

"Glad to see you're home." Mai, her roommate, sneered. "I almost got worried about you."

"Just be quiet Mai. I'm too tired for this today." Utena shrugged off her coat and put it on the rack. In the process, her shirt rode up a little, revealing a large scar on her belly. It really wasn't all that noticeable, because of advanced cosmetic surgery, but Mai never missed an opportunity to bother Utena, or share one of her secrets with the entire student body.

"Eww! What's that scar from? It's so gross!" Mai gasped, knowing it was probably a self-conscious subject for her roommate. What she failed to notice though, was that there was an identical scar in the same place on Utena's back.

"None of your business." Utena snapped, causing Mai to flinch. She stalked into the bathroom, where she stripped off her uniform and stepped into a nice hot shower. Utena knew her scar wasn't gross, or huge or hideous. It was actually a very clean looking cut, and the doctors said that with a few more laser treatments, the scarring would be nearly invisible. Only a few more visits to that horrible hospital…

Utena hated going in for her treatments. It always reminded her of the time she had spent in the hospital after dueling with the End of the World. It had been a harrowing time, full of pain, frustration, and enough tears to last a lifetime. She had spent much of her time reflecting on what had happened. It had been enough time to get over her Akio-san, though it still hurt to think of him. She had also had sufficient time though, to think about Kiryuu Touga.

It was odd, but no matter where she started out, her thoughts always drifted to the student council president. She remembered vividly the night they had spent alone in the dueling arena. It would have been impossible not to develop feelings for him on a night like that. The stars had been so bright, and he had been so sweet. Utena sometimes wished that Touga really could have been her prince, but then she always ended up feeling foolish. She knew that he was not the type of man to settle for one woman. He was a player, and probably always would be.

***

"Goodbye Touga! We'll miss you!" Mrs. Kiryuu waved after the car as it sped off down the road. Touga raised his left arm in a wave, as he steered the sleek red convertible with the right.

The car was to be an incentive to get good grades, but his foster parents had decided to give it to him anyway. Touga snorted. It was just like those spineless yuppies to cave in. Trying to buy his love with a car…His parents barely set rules, and didn't abide by the ones they had. They were never around to discipline him or his sister, so they did what they wanted. Perhaps that was the reason his life was the way it was.

"Touga! Touga! Over here!" a female voice called. He was nearing the dorms of the new academy, and he saw several of his cousin's friends on the sidewalk. He supposed that he should consider them his friends too, after all, he did hang out with them all the time, but only because of Enishi. Enishi was his cousin, who was in the twelfth grade for the first time. They had known each other since Touga and Nanami had been sent to live with the Kiryuus. As with all of his 'family' Touga was not related to Enishi, except by adoption. He was Mr. Kiryuu's brother's son.

Touga slowed the car and brought it to a stop by the sidewalk. "Oh Touga!" one of the girls squealed. "Can we catch a ride with you to the dorms? Please?"

"Fine." Touga murmured. "Hop in the back." Barely giving the girls enough time to get settled, he sped off again, wanting to get rid of them as soon as possible.

"So Touga," one of them, Mai was her name, spoke up. "How was your trip?" Touga shrugged. "Oh. Well, we're all glad to have you back!" she continued, oblivious to his annoyance. "So, we're meeting Enishi at the dorms and then we're all going out for supper. You wanna come?"

"I don't think so. I'm just going to relax tonight." he replied.

"Awww! Come on! What happened to Touga the Party Animal? Enishi tells us you were a real player when you went to Ohtori!" Mai persisted.

"Look, I'm real tired. I barely slept last night and I had to drive all the way down here today. I just want to go to bed."

"Fine." Mai crossed her arms and turned away. Touga rolled his eyes. Stupid petty girls made him angry. All of Enishi's female friends were vacuous ninnies, and there wasn't an intelligent one in the bunch. There was a time though, when he would have fit in perfectly with this group. However, his ideals had changed drastically, and he no longer cared much about partying and being the playboy he once was. All that mattered to him at the moment was getting some sleep, then cramming for his make up test in math.

***

"All right ladies!" Miss Tachikawa shouted. "Now, who can show me the proper hand position for bumping the ball?" It was gym class, and it was volleyball season. "Miss Tenjou, would you like to show us?"

Utena sighed, but pulled herself up off the floor and faced the rest of the class. "You curl these fingers like this and then you put this hand here and voila." she explained, quickly moving her hands into the proper position. The teacher nodded in approval, and motioned for Utena to sit down again. The class listened while Miss Tachikawa reviewed the rules, and then numbered them off into teams.

Soon, a game was in full swing, and Utena's team was ahead by two points. Everyone watched as the ball sailed high into the air, and Utena readied herself to jump at it. Just as she was about to jump though, she saw a flash of red hair moving past the door, distracting her so she didn't see the foot in front of her. She tripped and sailed face first into the ground, amid giggles and laughter from some of the other students. She didn't care much though, for that scarlet mane had looked frighteningly familiar. Could it have been Touga? But how, and why, would he be attending school here? Utena chided herself for being silly, and turned her attention back to the situation at hand.

"Gee Utena," Mai twittered innocently, moving her foot away from Utena, "Maybe you should be more careful."

"Here Tenjou," Miss Tachikawa extended her arm towards the girl sprawled on the floor. "Let me help you up." She pulled Utena to her feet, and flinched back as the girl cried out in pain. "Uh oh. I think you'd better get that ankle looked at kid. I'll take you to the nurse." she wrapped an arm around Utena's waist, acting as a human crutch to help her walk out the back gym door, the one closest to the nurse's office.

***

Touga stopped in mid stride. Was that pink hair he saw? But nobody he knew of in this school had long pink hair, unless… He turned and ran back to the main gym doors, poking his head in to see the grade 9 girls, practicing volleyball. Mai smiled and waved to him. Just then, Miss Tachikawa walked back in through the back doors.

"What are you doing here Mr. Kiryuu? Don't you have a class to get to?"

"Uh…Sorry. I thought I saw someone I used to know in here, but I guess not," he said, after scanning the room for a large mass of pink. There was nothing. "I'm sorry, my eyes must be playing tricks on me." He ducked out of the room as quickly as possible and ran back to his class.

***

Utena whimpered as the nurse examined her ankle. "It's only twisted dear. Nothing major, just avoid walking on it for a few days and you'll be fine."

"I suppose that means I can't participate in gym huh?" The nurse nodded, and wrote up a quick note to Miss Tachikawa, excusing Utena from Phys. Ed. for the next couple of days.

"Now take this and give it to your teacher. Wait here a moment and I'll call someone to help you down to the gym." Just then, another student entered the small office. He was tall and handsome, with short green hair and emerald eyes. "Oh! Enishi!" the nurse cooed. "How can I help you?"

"I need a Band-Aid." the boy replied, holding up a cut finger for the nurse to inspect.

"Okay, wait here a minute." she bustled around for a bit, then held up a box of bandages and a small tube of antibacterial cream. "C'mere and let me see that finger." She quickly spread a glob of cream on the cut, then carefully wrapped the adhesive bandage around his finger. "There. All better. Now hun, can you do me a favor? Of course you can! Help this girl back to the gym would you? She's twisted her ankle and shouldn't walk on it."

Enishi looked her up and down, making Utena quite uncomfortable. He watched as she squirmed slightly under his gaze, and was puzzled by the fact that she seemed to be uneasy in his presence. It was really quite a shame though; she was a pretty little thing. She seemed so familiar though. Wasn't she the one who always wore a boy's uniform? It couldn't be…could it? Such a pretty young girl, with a very feminine form, wearing men's clothing? It just didn't make sense.

With a shrug, he held out his hand, which she grasped after a moment's hesitation, and helped her up. He then looped his arm about her waist and pulled her against his body for support before helping her limp back to class.

***

"Touga! That's the third girl you turned down today!" Enishi sputtered, watching the young Mai walk away after being turned down by his cousin. "You used to be a total playboy! What happened?"

"Things change Enishi. People change." Touga said, exasperated, taking a bite out of his sandwich.

"Not that fast Touga. You went from playboy to non-playboy over night!" Enishi cried. Touga rolled his eyes; his cousin never had been very clever.

"Look Enishi, I just don't want to be the playboy anymore. I got sick of it. It's practically all I was known for at Ohtori."

"Fine then, suit yourself. I guess it just means more girls for me."

***

"I can't believe I actually asked him out! I'm such a fool!" Mai wailed. Utena scowled. She didn't want to hear about Mai's love troubles, but the little 'gang' was over, the annoying girls she had met in class, and she still couldn't walk properly yet. Utena sighed and turned the TV up a little bit, trying to drown out the girls in the living room. "I'm so stupid! How could Touga ever love a girl like me?"

Touga? This one word sent Utena spinning. She turned down the TV again, hoping to hear more details. Was it possible that Touga was here? Several times in the past couple of days Utena could have sworn she saw him, but always brushed it off as wishful thinking. Besides, why would he be here? He was supposed to be in University…wasn't he? It just didn't make sense. It couldn't be him. There had to be thousands of Tougas in Japan, and surely more than one of them was handsome. Besides, she had never known Kiryuu Touga to turn down a girl, except for Nanami of course. No, it couldn't be her Touga. That was impossible.

But what if it was him? They were certain to meet again, going to the same school and all. What would she say? How would she act? Would he even want to see her? Or would he just write her off as a freak like everyone else? Would he even still have feelings for her? There were so many questions, and Utena began to feel dizzy. Plopping down on her bed, she held her head in her hands and whimpered. There was a part of her that wanted to see him so badly it hurt, but there was also a part of her that was scared. It wanted to be free of all reminders of that past, of the duels, of the prince, of the End of the World. This part of her wanted to curl up and hide somewhere and to never come out, like when she was a small girl. Where was a coffin when you needed one?

***

Touga grumbled to himself as he got dressed. Somehow, Enishi had convinced him to come out for pizza with all his little friends. He wasn't quite sure how it had happened, but he had been roped into it and couldn't back out now. Enishi would be here in a half-hour to pick him up, ensuring that he didn't back out. "I suppose I could just pretend to be ill," Touga mused, buttoning up the front of his shirt, "but then again, Enishi's little friends would insist on playing nurse." He tossed his crimson mane and laughed cruelly. "I suppose it's just in the female nature to coddle a man. It's what they're born for…" He trailed off, thinking of the one exception. Utena, although definitely female, hadn't exhibited many qualities specific to women. She was stubborn, and headstrong…like a man. Perhaps it was why he adored the little tomboy; she exhibited male qualities while in the body of a luscious young woman.

(Author's Note: I am a girl, so don't think I'm being sexist or anything. These thoughts are Touga's point of view, not mine)

"Touga! Hurry your ass up and get out here!" Enishi shouted, pounding on the door. "I've got a carload of chicks waiting!" Touga rolled his eyes, but opened the door and stepped into the hallway.

"I'd hate to keep them waiting." he drawled, his voice touched with more than a hint of sarcasm.

***

Finally, she could take no more of Mai's pitiful whining. Her face set in a scowl; Utena grabbed her ankle brace and slipped it on. Without even saying goodbye, she hobbled out of the spacious dorm room and into the hallway. Carefully, she made her way down the stairs and out the front door.

Immediately, Utena wished she had grabbed her coat. There was a chill this evening, and the frigid air bit into her skin. Wrapping her arms around herself, she limped across a stretch of grass towards one of the school's many fountains. Taking a seat on the cold concrete side, she sighed and stretched her legs out. She remembered having a conversation one night with Juri by a fountain just like this one. It was hard for her, not knowing how any of her old friends were doing.

Human contact had been limited since the final duel. While in the hospital, she had seen only nurses and doctors who came in every once in a while to check on her. None of her friends had been informed of the situation, for obvious reasons. There was no way anybody would believe she got stabbed while doing math equations in her dorm room. After being released, she had been sent to this new school. It wasn't as if there weren't any people here, the place was packed. It was just that nobody seemed to want a strange tomboy for a friend.

Suddenly, Utena felt the urge to run and hide in the shadows, but she forced herself to stay still. She could hear people coming, and even managed to catch tiny bits of their conversation.

"C'mon!…Awww, no!" There was a pause, and another voice started in.

"I can't…you need…You're not…C'mon!…fun…Touga!"

Touga? Had she heard correctly? Was that a girl's voice saying the name Touga? Utena felt her breathing quicken, and she tried desperately to calm herself. "Settle down Utena." she whispered into the shadows. "There have got to be tons of Tougas in Japan, so don't get your hopes up. It isn't him, and even if it were…" she trailed off, not wanting the think that his confession of love may have been just another plot.

Utena jumped up and slunk into the shadows. The group was coming towards the fountain, and she didn't want to talk to anyone. Carefully, she scrutinized each face as it passed by her hiding spot. Finally, the last person was walking passed, and Utena had to clamp her hands over her own mouth to avoid crying out.

Touga…It was Touga. What was he doing here? Why wasn't he in University? Utena craned her neck a little, trying to get a better look. It was definitely him, though he seemed to have gotten skinnier and possibly paler too, though it was hard to tell in the dim evening light. It was so strange to see him though, without that cocky sparkle in his eye. It looked almost as if his heart had been torn right out of his chest.

***

"Did you guys just hear something?" Touga murmured, stopping in the middle of the sidewalk.

"It's probably just a stray cat Touga, let's go." Enishi sighed. "What's with you lately? You've been acting like you've seen a ghost."

"Well," he shrugged his shoulders. "Maybe I have." The former Student Council President looked wistfully up at the stars, then dropped his gaze to meet with the eyes of his cousin. "Then again, maybe I haven't." He resumed his slow walking pace, his keen eyes scanning the nearby shadows, but seeing nothing more than the occasional late night squirrel.

***

Utena sighed quietly as she made her way out of the trees and back to the fountain. So it was Touga…but why was he here? Wasn't he supposed to be in University? And more importantly, what would she do now? It really was him; the same Kiryuu Touga who had been consuming her thoughts for the past four months. Should she try to talk to him? What would she say to him? What would he say? Would he still have feelings for her, or would he just blow her off like he did so many other girls?

"Damnit…why now? Why did this have to happen when I was finally getting used to the pain?"

***

"Look you guys, I've really got to go soon." Touga announced after the small group had finished off the large squid pizza. "I've got another make up exam tomorrow."

"Another one Touga?" Enishi moaned. "What happened to the top-of-the-class Student Council President I once knew?"

"A lot." Touga murmured quietly. "I just haven't been able to concentrate lately." He stood up and dropped some money on the table to cover his portion of the bill. "I'll take a cab. See you guys tomorrow."

***

"Do I really even have feelings for him, or is this just because of what he told me the night before we dueled?" Utena sighed, dipping her hand into the cool water. She was so unsure of what to believe. Touga had toyed with her emotions once, who was to say he hadn't been doing it again? It would be just like him to do something like that…but then why couldn't she deny that she loved him? It was too painful to think that he was playing with her again.

***

Touga trudged up the sidewalk towards the dormitory buildings, still thinking about the conversation he had had with Enishi. "If only you knew cousin, if only you knew of my pain." he chuckled softly into the night.

It was then that he saw her, sitting like a goddess on the fountain rim. Could it really be her? Was it his Utena? His prince? Or was it some cruel apparition, here only to taunt him, to make him wish for what he could never have? He had to know.

***

Utena whipped around as she heard footsteps nearing. Could those kids be back already? No, there was only one person. Who was it?

"T…Touga?" she whispered, seeing a figure step out of the shadows.

"Utena? It's really you isn't it?" He watched as his goddess nodded her head slightly. She seemed unsure of what to do next, as if she were nervous to be in his presence.

"It's been a long time Touga." Utena whispered quietly, her gaze moving shyly to the ground.

"Far too long." He replied, taking a step toward her. "You have no idea how worried I was about you; how much I missed you." He took her hand in his own, as if to make sure she was really sitting there before him.

"You…missed me?" she was puzzled. If he missed her, did that mean he truly did love her?

"A man always misses the woman he loves, even if she leaves for mere seconds."

"You still…" she trailed off, afraid to even ask, but she didn't have to, for Touga seemed to know what she was going to say and nodded his head.

"I meant every word I said Utena." he brought her hand up to his lips and kissed it, never taking his eyes off her own.

"Well Touga, I'm still looking for a prince..." Utena flushed slightly as he began to move his mouth closer to her own. "If you like…"

Well, that was it! My very first attempt at a Utena fic! I hope you liked it! I know it was out of character, but I did try to keep in at some points. The point of this fic was to think of what people would be like after the end of the series, and I don't know about you, but I think it would have been just a bit traumatic on them, so attitudes and outlooks would change…at least that's how I see it… Well, remember to review, I'd appreciate it!