Vision Of Escaflowne Fan Fiction ❯ Gratification of Lust ❯ Sweetest Taboo ( Chapter 3 )

Gratification of Lust

Chapter Three

Author's Note: A lot of this chapter may seem familiar to anyone who read this story the first time it was published. This is because most of it comes from the original first chapter, which I owe much thanks to Etowato for. Enjoy.

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As Dilandau speeds down the highway, I sit back, enjoying the wind on my face. I take in the sight of Gaean - more specifically Zaibach - nightlife. The lights, skyscrapers, cars rushing to and fro, are things I can never get tired of. Currently, we're heading to Folken's flat, as promised. I think Dilandau is still a little mad at me. Now that I think about it, it was really stupid. Think about something else.

I recall it was raining the afternoon I first met Dilandau. And it was a rainy day when I realized I wanted him, mainly because of Yukari.

Yukari isn't one of the original group. Hitomi, Yukari and Amano we did not meet until we were in our teens. Hitomi fit right in with the group, like she was always supposed to be there, as though we all knew each other before and were a sect reunited. Yukari took a while more and Amano, because of his going off to college, never really made it. But he's there and we know him. He is comfortable - according to us. Merle never liked Hitomi in the beginning. Probably because when Van and Hitomi met, she had had the hugest crush on and Van's attraction to Hitomi was obvious even then. She is better now…if still as catty.

Yukari was the one who made me realise that I liked Dilandau as more than a simple best friend. The day they met she wouldn't stop staring at him. He walked in; slightly wet from his dash into the building past the sprinklers, in black jeans and a purple t-shirt under his black leather jacket. At fifteen, he wasn't extremely muscular and he isn't now either, but he was lean and fit. With all his fencing practice, he was very athletic and it was obvious in the way he carried himself, there was no way she would pass that up. I couldn't stop staring. He'd never looked so good. That was when I wanted him. I knew, later, that Yukari did too.

It took me a while to realise that what I felt was jealousy but I hid it well. I knew, even then, that Dilandau was not looking at anyone. I was still to find out that when he did begin looking, his gaze settled on Van. Allen saw the change but I don't think he knew exactly what it was that changed. He didn't care back then. He had his own problems. There was Marlene's marriage and Chid's birth. Chid is my nephew - everyone knows that even though Marlene was nineteen and Allen was only fifteen. Later there was her death. Then Millerna came back from boarding school looking exactly like her, with Dryden Fassa - her boyfriend/fiancé. I was fifteen then. Although we are the same age, Millerna has always been so much older than me. When I collapsed into love with him is a mystery to me. Headache worthy; new topic.

Our little group is rather defined although each of us has blind spots. Dilandau is probably the most popular. To anyone else, it would seem strange to find Dilandau standing at his stove watching water boil or sitting in his car at a red light playing air-drums to the latest Linkin Park song but for me, it is a familiar scene. When you've lived with someone almost half of your life, there are certain things you know about them that not many others are privy to. The only other people I can think of that know what Dilandau is like at ease would be Folken and Jajuka. But I doubt even they know him as well as I do. No one knows him the way I do.

For some reason, Dilandau and I have always been part of a whole that no one else could comprehend. I think it worries Allen that we are so close. No, I know that it worries him. I think he thinks there is more to our friendship than meets the eye. He would be right if the feeling was mutual. Unfortunately, my affections are unrequited. Won't Brother love that?

He catches me staring at him and sticks his tongue out, still playing those drums. Most people don't know he does that. I'm going to stop saying what most people don't know. Most people simply don't know Dilandau. I retaliate in kind. And then the light changes.

Dilandau parks. Folken's apartment building looks…professional. Can a building look even look like it's professionally occupied? I don't know. I shake my head and Dilandau asks me, "What?" I shake my head again. He shrugs elegantly and gets out.

I peek out though the windscreen up at the top floor where Folken's apartment is before getting out also. For some reason, none of us lives on anything lower than the very top floor. Some kind of superiority complex we share, I suppose.

Tonight is a small dinner between friends for Dilandau, Eries, Folken and I. After Dilandau and I left the Fanel manor, arrangements for the Astons' temporary quarters were made. Circumstances were as such that Folken had a spare room right when Eries needed one. Millerna was staying with Merle - who only had one extra room.

I had called at four this afternoon to finalize timing. Folken answered the phone after ten rings. Maybe today isn't my day to surprise people. Who knows?

The signs were all there - evident in his voice, his tone, his breathing. I didn't need to be standing in front of him to figure it out. He sounded preoccupied and agitated. As usual as this was on most occasions, combined with everything else, it simply added weight to my conclusion. A familiar sounding female voiced a muffled question.

"Celena," he hadn't bothered to cover the mouthpiece. His reply was crystal clear. There was a small shuffle. He moaned harshly. There was the sound of the receiver changing hands. When next I was addressed, Eries said simply, unabashedly, "6:30" into my ear.

As we approach Folken's door, I glance at Dilandau. He wears dark blue jeans and a deep red sweatshirt in striking contrast to his pale skin. I know that shirt. I've worn it enough before to know it's extremely comfortable. Currently, I'm dressed in a pair of comfortably slack blue jeans and a loose, sleeveless, red turtleneck I had left at Dilandau's flat earlier. It is, in fact, a true coincidence. We can go casual. It won't matter.

Looking at him, I realize he looks extremely haggard. It's not like him. Has been getting enough sleep lately? I'm worried about him. The wedding is so close. Dilandau has - peculiarly- been doing as much as possible to help. Except on Saturdays: Coffee break day. I ask him. And he glances at me. His expression says it all. He's not. We fall into silence, undeniably an uncomfortable one. It is a rare moment for us that I do not treasure.

Folken opens the door. Decked in black slacks, and a loose, long-sleeved, deep-purple turtleneck, he's the happiest I've seen him in months. His hair is slightly wet.

I enter before Dilandau. The first thing one notices about Folken's apartment is contrast. The walls are an almost glaring white. The furniture is black. True to the Fanel nature, the all round highlights are exquisite specimens of greenery.

The room one greets first is the dining room. Above an ornately carved, black-polished, eight-seat dining table hangs a massive chandelier. On the left, a large, beautifully replicated, registered copy of Da Vinci's `The Last Supper' hangs, adding colour to the otherwise bare white wall.

To the right is the kitchen. Cupboards are white fibreglass; the appliances are black. Next to that, the glass door that leads to a semi-circular balcony.

Straight ahead, there is no solid division between here and the living room. The black leather couch, loveseat and solitary armchair are arranged around a glass centre-table - all facing the fireplace, complete with mantle. A pseudo-fire crackles within. A bit further on, two more armchairs look out of high French windows next to the bar. The bar itself is hidden behind the metal stairway that leads to the two bedrooms. One Folken's, the other -supposedly - Eries'.

I love this apartment. I know it so well. After all, I helped to choose it.

"Folken, have you seen-?" Eries stops midway on the steps and smiles at us. She wears a pair of black track pants and a lavender V-necked T-shirt. Her eyes dart from Dilandau to me to Folken and then at herself. She chuckles and moves the rest of the way down the stairs. Behind me I can sense Dilandau wordlessly ribbing Folken.

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Before we sit down for dinner, Folken disappears to the alcove behind the stairway amid various ferns and potted palms. Quietly, the opening notes of a Sade album fill the air. As usual, Folken's food is delicious and conversation is pleasant.

Most of the conversation centres on our current doings. Eries is now Vice-President of the Aston Corporation although the actual inheritance still goes to Millerna. Why Eries has been passed over for Millerna is a mystery to me but does she does not seem to mind - much like someone else I know. Sometimes I think there's something connecting her and Folken's loss of inheritance. Folken is still working with the GNC - Gaean Chemical Laboratory. But she knew that already.

She asks Dilandau about his art. She's always been interested in his art. In fact, she was one of the first people to buy one of his pieces. After a weak start, they've become extremely popular. He has an exhibit of new, never-before seen pieces in two or three months. Even I haven't seen any. As for me, I sigh when she turns. I have to look guilty. My editor is pressuring me to finish my 800-word article "Artistic Licenses", a monthly publication for Gaea's artistic and literary minds. And I'm still working on my novel. Trying to. Really.

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They are more of brothers than Van and Folken could ever be. Ever since we were young it's always been like this. Folken and Dilandau, Van and Allen

I watch them through the doorway to the balcony. It's rather large for and apartment. A big, semi-circular affair with patio furniture and everything. Folken is currently sharing an anecdote that I cannot hear. Something about it makes Dilandau smile; laugh actually. I sip at Bacardi. Eries' choice for after dinner-drinks. It's rather good. The lights behind me are bright but not fluorescent.

Eries has gone upstairs for a moment. My gaze travels to Folken - up his endlessly long legs, sculpted torso and across his wide shoulders. His face is at ease. He loves her so.

Strange, in fact, it was Eries, whom everyone thought was in love with Allen because they were the same age and he was always around their family. How wrong they were. Eries is also the same age as Folken Fanel. Enough said.

I hear a footstep to my left and look up the stair to see Eries coming down once again. In one hand, she holds her drink, in the other, a CD case. She flashes the title at me and winks, disappearing towards the stereo. Soft. That means…of course.

I look to the balcony. A small glance at Dilandau finds him looking at me. I stare right back. For who knows how long, we stand there, our eyes locked. In that moment, I believe I know I am truly in love with Dilandau. God knows I want him. More than is morally legal I believe. But here and now, I really love him.

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Calmly, quietly, suddenly, Eries is beside me. We stand in silence. Observing the men we love. Dave Koz plays a sultry saxophone in the background. At least she can love freely.

"Quite a pair of enigmas, aren't they?" she asks, taking a sip. She is still staring at them although I glance turn and look at her fully.

"Yes. They are." I answer. And they're so much more too.

"And everything else in the world worth living for too."

"Yes," I answer. Then I realize what I've said. I blush. She smiles knowingly. From anyone else, that would be annoying. Insulting even. But not from Eries. From Eries, it is comfort.

"Do you-…how did you-…You won't-…I-," for a writer, I seem to lack words quite suddenly.

"It has been too obvious for too long," she replies to my unspoken question. I don't know how she knows. Even if she knows completely what she's talking about. Normally, one would expect to be angry. No one shows up after months away and presumes to analyse your feelings but Eries is different. Eries is…Eries. I hang my head and sigh in bitter amusement. There's no helping it.

"You care for him greatly. I think. If I may be so bold, that you love him, Celena." I look into her eyes and see understanding. But I don't think she understands.

"I do…but it's not that simple."

"It's never that simple. Do you think Folken and I simply decided to fall in love and live happily ever after? It's never simple," she says. She snorts slightly, "Folken and I cannot love outside of this apartment. My Father cannot know, my sister does not know. No one knows how complicated it is to love and still not love. Our little group confines us. I feel like I'm stifling sometimes. I'm in the same room with him, wanting him so badly I ache, and still unable to touch him. With our little group, it's never simple." She knows. She's right. It's terrible.

"Van and Hitomi got it simple," I counter, now angry. Why should the man that hurts Dilandau so much have it so easy? What sin did Dilandau commit to deserve this? What did Folken and Eries ever do? What did I do to deserve this? My voice is bitter, even to my own ears, "Yukari and Amano got it fucking simple. What's wrong with us?"

"Simple things for simple minds, Celena." I snort and realize that she's serious. And in a way, it's true. The pleasures and problems that they have are so much simpler than ours.

"Simple minds, Eries?" One of my eyebrows rise. She's never really one to criticize.

"Maybe not Van. He has an impressive lineage." She sips but her smile can't be hidden. Then her expression sobers. "If you want him, Celena, you must move quickly. Folken is of the opinion that it is imperative for you to do it before the wedding. He will leave. You must ground him. If not, Celena, he is a danger to himself. You cannot allow him to loose you. You are his everything even though he does not know it."

"How do you know it?" I ask. My throat is tight and I want to cry. Loosing him seemed like something I could ignore. Now, she makes it real. It has been said; it is a definite possibly. It is the most likely reality.

"I know it Celena because Allen was practically standing under that ladder but Dilandau got there first. I know it because I've heard you two together. I know it because he looks at you like that," she jerks her head towards the balcony. I turn and, truly enough, Dilandau is looking at me. His expression is guarded. No one speaks.

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Sade picks up the tempo of Smooth Operator. Eries sways her hips and grabs my hand, pulling me out into the slightly chilly night air.

"Boys," she says, "it is time to dance." She's always loved dancing. She manages to deposit me in front of Dilandau. She pulls Folken off of the balustrade. Smooth Operator has ended. As we wait out the small pause between songs, she looks over her shoulder at Dilandau and me.

"Dance with her," she tells him. He grins and nods. She has always gotten him to do what she wants him to. I think he enjoys her activities. She always did play the best games.

He circles my waist with his arms as I register the song. Sweetest Taboo. How ironic.

We sway gently with the rhythm. Suddenly, Eries sings the first verse, mainly to Folken:

- If I tell you,

If I tell you now…

Will you keep on,

Will you keep on loving me?

If I tell you,

If I tell you how I feel…

Will you keep on giving out the best in me? -

He spins her around in his arms. She smiles. Somehow, she gets him to join her on the chorus:

- You give me,

You give me the sweetest taboo

You give me

You're giving me the sweetest taboo

Too good for me -

I laugh and Dilandau joins me. He pulls me closer and I absorb his warmth. Then I pull away. It's part of the dance. He is a very good dancer. Eries looks at us and it's my turn:

- There's a quiet storm

And it never felt like this before

There's a quiet storm

That is you

There's a quiet storm

And it never felt this hot before

Giving me something that's taboo -

Dilandau grips my hips tighter and sways much more sensually than he should. Folken and Eries sing the chorus. As the verses repeat, I find myself closer and closer to Dilandau. He sings, almost in my ear.

- You give me the

Sweetest taboo

That's why I'm…

In love with you.

You give me

Keep giving me the sweetest taboo

Too good for me -

Damn. If I died now I'd be happy. I sneak a look at the other two but they're busy, arms wrapped around each other. Folken is holding Eries in a similar fashion to how Dilandau holds me. They are, however, more passionate. They look into each other's eyes and I look away. It's their own moment.

I look at Dilandau. His eyes are dark and intense. Control yourself, Celena. To put it crudely, I'd jump his scrawny ass right here, right now if I had the chance. I want him. I remember what Eries said. I wonder if this is the look she's talking about. Maybe it's the atmosphere, the drinks, the fact that I'm in his arms but I stretch upwards and press a kiss against the side of his mouth. Just on the edge of his lips. I pull away and smile teasingly. After all, I am his sister. He mirrors my smile. It's not the first time. The song is almost over.

- Everyday is Christmas

And every night is New Year's Eve…-

He pulls me back in to finish the dance. And I go willingly. Because he is the sweetest taboo. Everything I want in my hands and I can't touch it. But I love him anyways.

- Will you keep on

Bringing out the best in me? -

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Author's Note: This chapter differs from the others greatly. My mood was very different when I wrote it. There's a lot more detail here but I think it adds something to the chapter. Know Dilandau doesn't get much screen time by way of actual dialogue or anything but he will - soon.

Thank you for reading. Please review. Appreciate it ^-~.

Disclaimer: "The Sweetest Taboo" and "Smooth Operator" by Sade are from her album "The Best of Sade" which belongs to the people at Epic records. The album is a major inspiration for this story. Escaflowne does not belong to me. I'm simply borrowing its wonderful array of characters.