Weiss Kreuz Fan Fiction ❯ Better Days ❯ A single Day Changes Everything ( Chapter 1 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

This is the sequel to my previous story "Yohji's Bad Day." This fic will make more sense if you read that one first, but in case you don't want to I will include a brief summary so you can understand what's going on.

Summary of Yohji's bad day:
Yohji was having a really crummy day and decided to distract himself by raiding Ken's junk food stash under his bed. While he's snooping through Ken's stuff, he finds some gay porn hidden under the snacks. Yohji gets obsessed with the idea that Ken might be gay and tells Ken that there's a mission at a club and gets Ken to agree to go with him. Yohji has the plan of just finding out "how gay is Ken" and seeing who's his type, etc. But throughout the night he keeps slipping up and revealing that he likes Ken himself (though Yohji's not even aware of this himself.) When they get home, Ken confronts Yohji about his weird behavior all night, and it is revealed that the porn was actually -Omi's-. This development leaves Yohji on the brink of a mental breakdown and he locks himself in his room....

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Disclaimer: Weiß ain't mine, 'nuff said.


Better Days


Have you ever had a day so goddamn awful that you were almost glad of it, simply because you knew things couldn't possibly get any worse? I mean, the worst days are always followed by the best ones, right?

Not so for Yohji Kudoh.

Bad days just seem to mean more bad weather in my forecast. But that's hardly a surprise. Just look at what my life consists of. Working. Fighting. Killing. Boozing. And....Ken.

I bet that last one caught you off guard, didn't it? I was listing the depressing elements of my existence. Why would Ken make the list? Shouldn't he be one of the rare shards of happiness in my life? As one of the only people I'll ever trust, someone who has kept me hanging on to my last thread of sanity? Yes that's right, Ken keeps me sane. Or did. Back when I was still sane. Funny how the one person who had kept me from losing it was also the one who finally pushed me over the edge. And he doesn't even know it.

A single day can change everything.
A single horrible, awful, unbearable day.
A day where I realized that I had somehow allowed myself do the one thing I had promised to never let myself to do again.
I fell in love.
And wouldn't you know, it was with Ken.

Damnit, that wasn't supposed to happen.
You can't love without the risk of losing it. And I lose everything.

I've lost my family, my life, my career, and the one thing more precious then any of them. Asuka.

Asuka's death hit me so hard I wanted to just...stop existing. Disappear. I was glad when the next bullet hit me, I thought we went down together. I'd die, but it was ok, cause Asuka was with me. Fuck, was I mad when I woke up in that Kritiker hospital. What business did they have saving a man who wanted to die? The only thing that stopped me from remedying that was their job proposition. It would give me a chance to avenge her. Take out the bastards who took her from me. Then I could die, and it would be all the more gratifying. But I didn't of course. The longer you live, the more you want to hold onto it. Even if you have nothing worth living for. I lost my nerve. I couldn't outright do it, so I tried to kill myself the cowardly way with booze, fast cars, and cigarettes. Which failed as well. I'm strong, and the body seems to fight to live even when the mind tells it not to. It's harder to die than you'd think.

But things got better. A little. Just enough that I stopped wanting to end it all. My 'job proposition' took the unexpected turn of becoming a family to me. I had friends again, and that made life just bearable enough to keep me going.

But I also knew I couldn't live through another loss like Asuka. It would break me. So I swore off love, promised I'd never let myself get too attached. I made a two-date limit for myself. A third date risks getting too close, I might actually start to care for the girl. Things would only go downhill from there. Besides, it would be selfish of me to let them get attached. I'm not betting on making it to thirty. How can I put some poor girl through what I almost couldn't survive myself? No, love is definitely off-limits for me.

So how did this happen?

It might seem like my awful day was the great turning point where I was suddenly and un-expectantly struck down smitten with Ken. But it wasn't. It's just when I became aware of what was already there. Why else would I spend time snooping through his stuff? His room isn't that interesting.

It snuck up on me when I wasn't paying attention. If he had been a girl I would have been more careful. I'm always cautious around girls. I know exactly how to handle them; to keep them around, but not let them get close.

But Ken's a guy, so I thought I was safe. Yohji Kudoh would never fall for a guy. Impossible. So he got to me, slowly, without me noticing. I was in denial. I didn't try to stop it because I wouldn't acknowledge it was there.

And in a single day, my feelings turned around and smacked me in the face. Everything was suddenly horribly horribly clear. And it was too late for me to stop it. I guess I finally realized how I felt when for a few seconds it looked like he might actually feel the same way. It looked like I had a chance, and I was ready to throw away all my standards and promises. I made myself completely vulnerable, just for a glimmer of hope that I might be able to regain what I had had with Asuka.

But I'd jumped to conclusions. Ken doesn't like guys. Of course he doesn't. I should have known there was a logical explanation for those cursed magazines under his bed. Obviously they weren't his, I mean, this is Ken I'm talking about.
He'll never love me back. He can't.
I lost him before I even got to have him.
They say that wise men learn from their mistakes. Fools repeat them.

I guess Yohji Kudoh's a fool.