Weiss Kreuz Fan Fiction ❯ Eine Sache des Vertrauens ❯ What have I done? ( Chapter 2 )

Eine Sache des Vertrauens
{A Matter of Trust}
Part 2
By Jacque Koh
Based on the fic "Fäden aus Mondlicht" by Chalcedony Cross
found at http://www.fanfiction.net/index.fic?action=story-read&storyid=279442

A room of crosses-- a room of corpses-- He knew he was in a dream, reliving the horror of that last mission in stark detail. Youji didn't want to look closely at any of the figures. Children. They were all children. Nailed to the stake naked, save for a 'crown' of barbwire, their crown of thorns. He had never felt more satisfaction in killing his targets on this mission than at any other time. But Weiß didn't get all of them. The main devil had escaped their justice.

He still remembered his frustration trying to pull out the nails with just his hands. Trying but failing to take the small figures down from the crosses. He couldn't remove a single one. Over thirty children dead, and he couldn't give any of them the dignity of lying prone on the blood slick floor. He had to leave them hanging on the crosses to wait for Kritiker to tip off the authorities.

Youji walked on, wishing for the dream to end. He couldn't seem to find an exit to escape this room of crucified children. A flutter of white suddenly drew his attention and he turned to stare at a window across the room. Tattered strips of white rust stained curtains stirred gently in the wind around a dark obstacle before it. It took a moment for Youji's eyes to adjust to the seemingly bright moonlight that streamed through the window. A vague outline of the obstruction soon made itself clear to the chestnut blonde. Another cross with its burden.

He almost turned away, having little desire to look upon another corpse of a child, when certain facts started to register to his mind. The figure hanging from the cross was too big to be a child. There was also a glint of something hanging on the left side of the person's bowed head-- something that could be an earring. A strip of white cloth lifted in the wind to brush against a familiar red momiage.

"Kami-sama, Aya!" Youji rushed forward only to slam against an invisible barrier that kept him from reaching the helpless figure.

The redhead didn't stir to Youji's cries. "Aya!"

The chestnut blonde pounded on the invisible barrier as he took in the scene laid out before him. Like the children, Aya was secured to the cross by three nails, one through each forearm, and one through the bone of his heels. The only thing he seemed to lack, as compared to the other victims, was a crown of barbwire.

"Aya!"

Strips of white cloth fluttered in the wind, seeming to caress and lovingly stroke the pale body. Scarlet ribbons of blood adorned the unmoving form, appearing to be lovingly painted on the pale flesh; The red in stark contrast to the almost luminescent white skin, which seemed to pick up the moonlight like a canvas ready for a madman to work his masterpiece. As if the thought brought a deed to life, Youji suddenly noticed the figure kneeling in front of Aya. A man with short silver hair, a single yellow eye and a maniacal grin.

"Farfarello." Youji growled deep in his throat, his hands reaching for and uncoiling a length of wire.

The Schwartz Irishman flashed a malicious grin at him before turning his attention to the redhead hanging on the cross. "It so hurts God, doesn't it? To see such a figure of beauty brought so low. So pretty..."

"Get away from him!"

"Why, because you're asking me so nicely?" Farfarello intimately stroked the firm muscled thighs before him, unmindful of the demands of the bristling man standing a few feet away from him. "I just want a taste." Aya showed no signs of resistance or fight as Farfarello took him in his mouth.

Youji screamed incoherently as he tried once more to breach the invisible barrier with either fists or wire. If he had really thought about it, he should have known better than to react so violently in a dream. It wasn't real. It was a figment of his imagination. Even now, the cross was disappearing to be replaced by a window grating. As he watched, glinting wire appeared to encircle each of Aya's limbs, holding him just as immobile as the nails had done earlier.

The sight of Aya finally moving, arching his back in pain, brought Youji's attention back to Farfarello. The mad man was inserting the blade of his knife into the redhead's ass as he sucked him off.

"Kami-sama..." The significance was finally registering to his mind. "No! I used the handle of the switchblade. I didn't use the blade! I used the handle! You sick fuck! Get away from him! Farfarello, get away him!"

Glittering jewels of tears sparkled on Aya's lashes and in the air as he threw his head back in a soundless cry. The silver haired man smacked his lips at Youji before standing to catch Aya's chin in his hands and forcefully deposit his earned treasure into Aya's mouth. Youji's stomach roiled in disgust to see the younger man passively accepting the semen loaded kiss. His pink tongue darting out compliantly to catch the trickle that escaped when the Schwartz Irishman moved away. Beautiful, God he was beautiful.

"Farfarello!" Youji threw himself against the barrier to no avail as he watched the man blindfolding the redhead, knowing what was to come next.

Even with a piece of cloth obscuring half his face, Youji could see Aya's agony as the silver haired man impaled him on his hard shaft. Yet the redhead still made no sound. Farfarello pounded hard and fast into the bleeding body, not caring about the blood that encased his rock hard member. Not caring about the redhead hanging on the grate, shuddering in pain and shock.

Youji watched in horror as Aya bit his lips to keep from screaming, his mouth opening in a soundless gasp every so often with Farfarello's hard strokes. The redhead strained against the need to cry out, until at last he gave up.

"Sorry!"

The Irishman showed no inclination to stop his steady rhythmic pounding. Aya's breath began to hitch and quake as he cried out once more. "Sorry!"

Youji closed his eyes and buried his face in his hands. However, he could not escape from the sound of Aya's voice. "Sorry!" The desperation in his timbre resounded clearly in Youji's ears. "S--sorry."

The words came steadily now. "Sorry... sorry..." Growing softer as Aya succumbed to shock. His breath jarring out in time with each hard thrust, "Sorry... sorry... sorry..." It wasn't long before Youji could hardly hear Aya's whispering.

"Farfarello!" Youji tore his hands away from his face. Prepared to throw himself against the invisible barrier once more. But the scene that was revealed before him sent him stumbling back in horror instead.

The Irishman had disappeared, and in his place was the chestnut blonde's own doppelganger. Slamming itself in and out of the bleeding ass mercilessly. His chin lifted in exaltation, face suffused with pleasure, even as Aya's bowed head rested against his ear. The redhead's lips still moving, whispering 'sorry' in morbid rhythm to his violator's thrusting hips.

"NOOOOOOOO!"

Youji sat up in his bed crying. "Kami-sama... Kami-sama... What did I become? Aya-- Kami-sama, what have I done?"

He turned bloodshot eyes out the window to stare at the dark foreboding sky. This night seemed so very similar to that mission night. There were still no stars.

There never were any stars.

The nightmares drove him awake. Ran felt the contents of his stomach lurching, seeking escape and he sat up instinctively as if to get out of bed and hurry to the bathroom. In the next instant, his head felt as if it would explode with the pain that shot through his body. Despite the agony, Ran managed to keep enough presence of mind not to forget where he was and vomit over himself. He had no desire to dirty himself and the bed. No desire to become a greater burden to his hosts than he already was with his presence.

With the nightmare nearly forgotten, given his present dilemma, Ran contemplated swallowing his vomit rather than attempting to make the trek to the nearest bathroom. In his current state, he wasn't sure he'd make it. But the smell and the taste in his mouth were making it difficult to endure. Try as he might, he couldn't stop the heaving in his stomach as it attempted to overrule what his mind was commanding it to do.

"Ran?" A gentle hand touched the back of his neck, and he felt a presence below his chin. "Let it go. It's okay, I have a bin to catch it. Let it go."

He had to. Even if he wanted to otherwise, Ran couldn't have held it back much longer. His helper released the round bin as soon as he was sure Ran was holding on to it tightly, and the redhead felt the cool hands move to hold his momiage out of the way. It took a long while before he finally emptied the contents of his stomach and was left with only dry, energy draining heaves. Somewhere in the intervening time when he starting vomiting to the present when the bin was taken from his shaky hands, Ran realised that the man with him had shifted a leg under his thighs so that he'd sit on that support rather than on his injury. He was grateful for that relief.

"Ran?" A piece of tissue gently brushed over his mouth and chin to wiped away the flakes of vomit.

Ran had to take a couple of moments to compose himself before he responded. He discovered his companion to be Yuushi when he finally turned in the gentle embrace to look up.

"Nightmares?"

A red flush crept over his cheeks. He hated the situation. Hated feeling so weak and dependent. He wanted to push Yuushi away and say that everything was okay. That it wasn't a nightmare. That he was fine. That-- he wasn't afraid. But his treacherous body was betraying his mind's directives. He was trembling in the comforting hold, and even he wasn't sure if it was a physical manifestation of his emotions, or if it was a reflection of his current physical weakness from his injuries.

Showing a rare moment of delicacy given his usual brash nature, Yuushi didn't try to question Ran any further. Instead, he leaned over and covered the bin to trap the smell of vomit before settling back against the bed head, while ensuring that Ran stayed cradled on his lap. The redhead felt too tired to want to try and push the other man away and escape the embrace. Yuushi offered him a quiet comfort, and he was loathed to evade the security, no matter how much his mind protested this submissive act.

His mind fought a losing battle against the selfish need for reassurance. A part of him felt too greedy for the comfort he had denied of himself with his solitary ways. But the angry and distraught part of him yelled at him for letting himself sink into this dependency again. He deserved to be alone. Yuushi and Masato had a love and life together long before he joined them. He was only an intruder. A brief fling for them while Rook healed and a stand-in was available. Thinking about the situation again reminded Ran of how much of a burden he had made of himself. Surely Crashers must have been surprised and annoyed with him for reappearing so abruptly, after walking out of their lives six months ago with not so much as a goodbye.

He made up his mind there and then, he would be gone in the morning. "Yuushi, I should leave."

"Why?" The blonde man didn't loosen his embrace. Keeping his arms wrapped around the redhead.

"I have no place in Crasher--"

"You haven't been listening to us, Ran." Yuushi rumbled firmly, though he didn't raise his voice. "We've been wanting to make you a place with us--"

"I-- I can't." Ran kept his head bowed as he chewed on his lower lip. Apart from the numbers in the team structure, there was also something very fundamental about Crashers that he couldn't accept. "Yuushi? Takatori..."

The blonde man mulled over his words thoughtfully. Ran hoped that he would at last understand. He couldn't stay. It was not his place to stay in Crashers.

"Crashers would never be able to touch him." Yuushi sighed at last. "Was *that* why you left? Because--" Yuushi laughed sardonically. "You were after bigger fish."

"Monsters like Takatori don't have the vulnerabilities that allow Crashers to bring him down." Ran nodded in agreement. "Besides, you didn't need me anymore."

"Ran," Yuushi dragged him up so that they could look each other in the eye. "You don't have to need something to want and desire it with all your heart."

Ran pulled his face away before Yuushi could kiss him. "I'll taste of vomit."

"Do you think I care?"

"Yuushi--"

"It hurt us. Did you know that?" The blonde man shook him, his anger boiling back to the surface. "It hurt to wake up one morning to find you gone for no apparent reason. To see your room empty, as if no one had ever lived there before. It hurt!"

"We-- For people like us-- attachments are a bad idea." Ran couldn't look at him.

"For people like us, sometimes attachments are the only reasons we have to get out of bed." Yuushi growled at him. "Do you mean to say you felt nothing for us? That it was painless for you to leave?"

"I've already lost one team, Yuushi." Ran told him softly. "I didn't want to grow too-- I didn't want--"

"So you'll run away from any offer of affection and ties? You're not being fair to yourself, Ran."

"I-- am just a murderer, Yuushi."

The blonde man sucked in a deep breath at his statement. "Is that why you wanted to become an assassin?" His hand reached out to brush Ran's momiage and let his fingers thread through the long strands. "You thought-- you could more easily stay apart from others by surrounding yourself with 'murderers'?"

Ran didn't answer him.

"I would dare say you found out different." Yuushi's eyes narrowed at him thoughtfully. "You're going back to them, aren't you?"

Ran almost flinched away from the quiet fury in Yuushi's words. "It wasn't his fault, Yuushi."

"It was the first time he ever hurt you like this?"

"What makes you think there will be a next time?" Ran snapped at him.

"What assurance do you have there *won't* be a next time?" Yuushi growled back. "You said enough when you were fevered, Ran. He tied you up, *without* your consent--"

"He-- I hit him..."

"So? Your other team mate took a swipe at you. You didn't draw your katana and carve him to pieces."

"He didn't mean to, Yuushi. That was an accident. I-- saw that he thought I'd pull away faster. It was as much--"

"Ran--" Yuushi could feel this wall coming between them as the younger man closed himself off. "Fine. Fine..."

Yuushi gently rolled Ran back under the covers and lay down beside him. The younger man at first tried to pull away, but Yuushi wouldn't let him. Ran made only a light huff of frustration before he meekly settled down to sleep cuddled next to the blonde man.

The brush of his hand against one of Ran's bandaged arms made Yuushi think wistfully of the ruined trenchcoat the redhead had arrived in. During the time Ran was still with them, he and Masato had loved to play with the zippered sleeves, which could teasingly reveal their pale lover's bare arms and shoulders. Earlier, Naru had tried to bring it to a leather merchant to have it repaired. But the tradesman had advised him that the cost to have it re-stitched and patched up would be far more than buying a new piece. Somehow, its loss felt like a reflection of their own loss of the 'old' Ran that they knew. However much they wished otherwise, Yuushi was quite sure that the redhead would be leaving them again before too long. But for now...

"You're staying on for a few more days, Ran." Yuushi murmured to him as he tucked the red head under his chin. "At least until the doctor removes the stitches. You can't take any missions like this anyway."

Ran didn't raise a word of protest to this statement. As he drifted off, Yuushi had to wonder whether it was because he had already fallen asleep, or because he agreed that he was too hurt to go on a mission.

Omi had had enough. This little fact was abundantly clear to Youji and Ken when they came down to the mission room at his summons. Of all of them, their youngest member was the least aware of what had happened on that last mission, and he wasn't happy about being kept in the dark.

"I've just spoken to Manx." Omi started quietly as the two older men sat on the sofa facing him. "Before I go into what she told me, is there anything that either of you would like to tell me, that you didn't want to let Kritiker know."

Ken looked down unable to meet Omi's eyes. He had done a lot of thinking about his part in Aya's injuries. And really, he had no excuse for taking that swipe at Aya, which unfortunately connected. It wasn't as if Aya had tried to force him to return to the safehouse. What had irritated him to no end was how coolly the redhead accepted the deaths of all those children, and their loss of the original target. But his words to Ken before he walked away and left him alone actually made a lot of sense.

/"It is no use agonising over what we could not prevent, Ken. It's true that over thirty children died. But if we had not been there, the numbers dead could have been more. Much more." The man had said quietly as he examined the five parallel gashes in his leather sleeve "It isn't possible for anyone to protect all of society. Weiß exists to stop *more* innocents from being hurt. It is not our function to predict and prevent the monsters from committing their atrocities.

/"Let it go. Come back to the safehouse. This is not a night to be wandering the streets."

/"I-- I need some time alone, Aya. I can't-- it's not as easy for me to deal with this as it is for you." He had said then. "I need to think-- about what you just said, and about-- myself."/

The redhead had grunted in acknowledgement of his words and left him to his own devices. How was Ken to tell that he'd come back to the safehouse to find--? He hoped that Youji would eventually tell Omi what he had told him the previous day. Maybe the 'kid' of the group could figure a way out of the mess.

"Youji-kun?" Omi was looking expectantly at the chestnut blonde, making Ken speculate how much Manx had told him. He wondered himself if Manx was aware of the full extent of Aya's injuries.

"Omi-- I-- after that mission ended." Youji took a deep breath and started speaking again, shakily. "When-- when Aya and I were alone at the safehouse-- I-- tied him up and-- raped him."

Ken would swear that they could have heard a pin drop in the silence that followed. Omi, as Ken observed, didn't gasp or look shocked at Youji's statement. Instead, the young blonde continued to look very calm, maybe too calm.

"Youji--" Neither of the men missed noticing the lack of the 'kun' suffix in Omi's address. "I am aware-- That you have a-- relationship with Aya-kun. Why did you feel the need to force him this time?"

"It was-- I-- wasn't thinking, Omi. I didn't-- I let--" Youji told him very quietly. "I-- didn't mean to hurt him. I-- lost control of-- I'm sorry."

The silence that followed that statement felt even more oppressive than the one before.

Feeling that neither Omi nor Youji were going to speak, Ken tried to diffuse the heavy air with an inquiry to Aya's health. "Omi, Birman said that Manx went to visit Aya. How is he? When will he be coming back?"

"Coming back?" Omi growled harshly at them. "After two of his three new colleagues attacked him? Why would he want to come back?! Why would he even trust us anymore?"

"Omi, please. I have to make it up to him." Youji launched forward to grab the younger man about the arms. "Apologise. Do-- what ever it takes. Omi-- I have to make it up to him somehow. Please-- help me."

"Omi-- I--" Ken swallowed before he continued. "I didn't mean to hurt Aya. It was an accident."

Omi looked from one to the other, reading the guilt and sorrow plain in their faces. His sharp blue eyes were drawn to lock into Youji's Emerald greens. "How did it happen? Youji-- how could you do this to Aya-kun?"

"It was-- we-- play games, Aya and me. I thought-- that night-- to me it was another game-- but-- but Aya-- wasn't playing. I was too-- too frustrated and stressed by the mission to listen to him." Youji bowed his head in shame. "I wasn't thinking. And I wasn't paying attention. I'm sorry, Omi. I have to-- need to apologise to him."

"Games?" The blonde youth stared at Youji in bewilderment. "Where you tie him up?"

The older man nodded uncomfortably as he squirmed under his intense scrutiny. Again, Ken had to reflect that had the circumstance not been so serious, he was quite sure that such an admission would have brought a blush to Omi's cheeks. Hell, it might even have caused a massive nosebleed. Neither of them was exactly ignorant of Aya's charms and-- finer qualities.

"We've-- I never-- hurt him before, Omi. I swear, I've never lost control before and-- and-- It was-- I-- don't know what came over me."

Omi nodded as he numbly trying to absorb Youji's obvious guilt and balance it against the crime. "Manx asked if we'd like to try to get Aya back to Weiß."

"His place is with us, Omi." Ken looked at Youji as he responded to the 'business' question. "The team can handle larger jobs now. We've benefited from his presence."

"Then the question is how do we get Aya-kun to trust us again?" Omi took a deep breath before he turned to look at Youji. "Ultimately, it is between you and him, Youji-kun. What we think doesn't matter in the long run."

Ken could practically see Youji's heart lighten to hear Omi use the -kun suffix with him again.

"Help me? Please?"

"For Aya's sake, yes." Ken nodded as he threw a glance at Omi. "But be mindful of one thing, my friend. If you ever-- hurt Aya like that again... I won't give you the benefit of doubt a second time."

"I would deserve it, Ken. I would deserve it."

/Never again, Aya. For what I didn't do when I had the chance, I'm sorry./ Ken told himself quietly. He doubted that he'd ever be able to say this to Aya in person. He knew that the redhead would probably be so angry and embarrassed that Ken had seen him shamefully compromised that he wouldn't notice the apology. But it was important for Ken to make this promise to himself. He was determined never to turn his back on a colleague like that again.

A frown of puzzlement sat on Reiichi's brow as he strode towards the front door at the insistent ringing. Crashers rarely, if ever, had unexpected visitors, and Queen hadn't mentioned anything about Manx returning to visit. In fact, the last unexpected caller they received was Ran. As such, the bespectacled man was not prepared to be greeted by a talking bush.

"Special delivery for Fujimiya-san." A young blonde man announced brightly as he peeked at him from around the large bouquet of flowers. "Could you let me in? I've been commissioned to deliver this to him personally."

Reiichi stared at him in great surprise, wondering for a moment how anyone would have known to send flowers to their house for Ran. Then the significance registered.

"Weiß..."

"How--?" All pretence aside, the blonde lad quickly put a foot at the doorjamb before the door could be slammed on him. "Please, we were concerned. We just want to know that he's all right."

"Oh? After--"

"Ken's sorry, but it was unintentional." Omi pleaded with the other man. "And Youji-- Youji's wretched. He's very sorry for what he did to Aya-kun."

/Aya?/ Reiichi frowned at the address. He had to wonder why Ran never told Weiß his real name. Bishop was very tempted to push the boy out and deny him any chance of seeing Ran. But he could felt his heart being touched by the sincerity in the blonde's expression.

"Please? We haven't seen him for over two days."

Omi watched his silent colleague nod to Bishop as the man prepared to leave after escorting him in. He noted that the Crashers' Knight and Rook were not happy at all to leave Aya alone with him, but the redhead's eyes were firm on his desires. Neither he nor Omi spoke until the door to the room was closed and they were alone.

"You're not surprised to see me, Aya-kun?" Omi asked him carefully.

"I expected as much of you, Omi." The redhead shrugged, his expression unreadable. "Information gathering is your forte. Why should I not expect you to find a way to locate me, whether or not Kritiker wanted to let you know?"

"How are you?"

"Better."

Omi winced inwardly at the taciturn reply. This wasn't the first time that the blonde cursed his inability to read the other man. Omi had to admit that he had no clue what to say to him. Words were valueless to Aya. He was a man who looked to a person's actions and deeds more than what was said to him.

In the two months that they worked together, Omi had noticed that Aya preferred to take action rather than talk or discuss decisions. It was a peculiarity that caused Omi a headache more than once when Aya chose to change carefully laid out plans in mid-mission with almost no consultation with him or the rest of the team. To be honest about it, more often than not, his impromptu actions were what 'saved' the mission. But it would have averted a lot of surprises and stress if Aya would bother to give them more of a heads-up before he wilfully changed plans on them. Many a times, they'd be left to deal with his sudden mission deviations, which sometimes left them scrambling to adapt to the changes. He had his reasons and Omi couldn't deny that they were sound almost all of the time, but it didn't mean that he had to like the abrupt introduction of changes. Omi wished that Aya would talk to them more.

"Ken-kun is sorry about the gashes."

"I know. It's not his fault." Aya didn't seem to notice his hand move to unconsciously scratch the bandages on his arm lightly. "It wouldn't have turned serious if I hadn't aggravated the injury."

"Aya-kun, you should-- talk to Youji-kun. He's--" Omi saw his mistake the moment his words left his mouth. The heated light of anger that sparked in the amethyst orbs seemed to burn brighter than a super nova.

"That was none of your concern! What ever is going on between Youji and me is strictly between him and me!"

"Wrong, Aya-kun!" Omi told him firmly. His cerulean eyes hardening as he stared down the redhead. "It becomes my concern when events serve to land one member of my team in sick bed, for what could be several days. And another gets thrown into a depression that renders him almost useless in offered missions.

"Aya-kun..." Omi's expression softened as he regarded the stony faced man. "Weiß cannot operate, if you are determined to have nothing else to do with Youji-kun. Please, give him a chance to talk. We want you back in Weiß. But we also need to function as a team. Weiß needs both of you."

"I've nothing to say to him."

"I think you do." Omi told him decisively. "You both need to talk. Please, Aya-kun. Just talk. It-- it isn't healthy to leave things unsaid."

Aya didn't speak again. His eyes turned away from the blonde indicating his desire for their meeting to end at this juncture. Omi sighed as he took the hint and got up to go to the door. But before he left, Omi just had to leave the redhead with one last parting shot.

"Youji-kun's torn up by what he did to you--"

"It. Wasn't. Rape."

Omi could feel his eyebrows shoot up at the words Aya growled out from between clenched teeth. "Then-- it's all the more reason you should talk, Aya-kun. Youji-kun told us that he betrayed your trust, and he regrets what he did. Please give him a chance."

Masato hurried to the front door at the insistent ringing. It seemed like their doorbell was seeing more use in these few days than it had ever seen in a whole year. He never considered before how disruptive visitors could be in their lives.

Ran had been especially distant after the Weiß blonde came by to talk to him. The only thing he would tell them about their conversation was that Weiß wanted him back. Yuushi did not greet this news kindly at all. But his over protectiveness only made Ran restless with the desire to leave them rather than be dependent on their 'charity'. If he had the strength to, Masato was quite sure that Ran would have picked himself out of bed and disappeared on them again. However, the blood loss he had suffered and the painkillers he had to take, not to mention his troubling inability to hold down solid foods, kept the redhead from making the attempt. Masato had to wonder how long Crashers could scheme to keep Ran from bolting from them after he recovered.

The arrival at the door interrupted Masato's thoughts of his friend as he yanked it open for a talking bush. "Special delivery for Fujimiya Aya."

"Again?" Masato glared at the Weiß brunette who quickly put his foot in the doorjamb to stop the door from being closed on him.

"Look, this is legit." The Weiß brunette blinked at him pleadingly. "The girls at the shop heard about Aya being-- sick and they bought all this to be sent to him. If it's not me delivering this forest, you'll be having a horde of schoolgirls at your door right now--"

Masato let him in.

Aya stared at the steaming cup of tea and the plate of sweet desert cakes that were placed before him on a bed tray. In the room, Ken was still busily arranging the various bouquets and flower offerings that had been gifted to their redhead colleague by way of the Koneko no Sumu Ie. Sneaking surreptitious glances at the redhead while he worked, Ken cursed his inability to read him. He couldn't for the life of him guess what was going through Aya's mind right now as he stared at the tea and cakes. He was quite sure that Aya knew that the tea and the box of sweet dessert cakes didn't come from the girls. Ken had gone to quite a bit of trouble to hunt down that particular blend of tea for him.

"It's-- your favourite blend." The brunette turned almost shyly to him at last when he was done with the flowers. "And I-- remembered you liked the shop where those cakes came from..."

"I didn't know you noticed." They were quiet words that still didn't give Ken much indication of the man's thoughts, but it was a lot better than silence.

"Aya-- I'm sorry about--"

"It was an accident."

"Yeah, but I'm still regret what my action precipitated..." Ken saw the flash of incredulous rage in Aya's eyes before apathy replaced it again.

"Ridiculous." Aya's expression was flat. "What happened between Youji and me is not your concern."

"The injury I caused you made it worse." Ken looked suitably sorrowful. "If I hadn't hurt you, Youji wo--"

"Drop it, Ken."

"No-- because like it or not, I'm involved in this as well." Ken told him firmly as he stood beside Aya's bed. "I have a part in this whole mess whether or not you want to recognise it."

Ken raised his hand at Aya, silently asking for a chance to speak without interruption. The man grudgingly closed his mouth again and waited silently. "Aya-- you were only showing concern for me when I-- caused this." Ken looked guiltily at the bandaged right arm. "I want you to know that I didn't mean to connect. I've never raised a claw against my teammate before, and for this to happen-- It was unforgivable. And I regretted it the moment it happened."

"We were stressed." Aya told him softly. His hand moved to pick up the steaming cup. "It was an accident."

"But I never apologised to you for it. And accident or no, I should." Ken could feel practically feel the wave of surprise coming from Aya as he bowed to him.

When he looked up again, Ken was gratified to see Aya take a small sip from the cup of tea. They didn't say any more to each other after that. Understanding the redhead's value for actions over words, Ken knew that Aya accepted his apology.

At the back of his mind, the brunette still fretted over the matter of what he did not do when he had first come across Youji and Aya that fateful morning. But he decided at that point that it was something he had to deal with alone. Aya was unaware of his presence then, and if there was any chance for Youji to make it up to Aya, it was better that he did not know. The older man had been properly reproachful of himself when he found out that Ken had seen them. It still chilled Ken to remember how Youji had cursed himself for accidentally fulfilling the threat to let Ken 'find' Aya tied up and helpless after he had his way with him.

What happened to Aya-- It was not a sight that Ken was going to forget, and it was not a position that he *ever* wanted to see Aya, or anyone he loved for that matter, being in again. He silently swore on it.

Yuushi grumbled under his breath at the sound of the doorbell. It felt like the Crashers stronghold had suddenly become Grand Central Station. Omi and Ken had appeared twice more that day with deliveries for Ran, and the man's room was now a veritable garden of flowers. The blonde man couldn't believe that there was space in the room to accept anymore flower arrangements. And in the middle of all this, Ran was still not talking about what he would do in the future.

Crashers had made it clear enough to him that he was welcomed to stay with them for as long as he wanted. But Yuushi knew that Ran didn't want to be a part of the Crashers missions. As much as he didn't want to accept it, Yuushi had to reluctantly acknowledge that Weiß could offer Ran what he wanted in missions. But after what happened--

The blonde man sighed as he opened the door, preparing to be met by a talking bush again. The last thing he expected to see was a tall, lanky, chestnut blonde, with dark ringed, bloodshot emerald green eyes standing empty handed before him.

"I'd like to speak with Aya, please." His words were quiet and carried with them an underlying strain that pulled at Yuushi's heartstrings despite his deep-seated anger with the man. "I'm not hiding behind flowers or gifts. I'm just here to talk."