Weiss Kreuz Fan Fiction ❯ Exile ❯ Chapter 2 ( Chapter 2 )

Part II

***


Dark...
It's so dark. My life has always been dark. Dark as the night. I wish there was at least one little light in my life. But that light has been put out long ago. A slight hope that gave me nothing but pain, sorrow, hatred. Hatred towards him. The bastard in heaven.
You were my everything. I thought you cared for me, I thought you did mind when I was sad and lonely. I thought you was with me.
But now I realise, all my prayers has been unheared. I realise that you never cared for me. You will never save me, and no one else either for that matter.

I still hear it ticking. I feel the insects creep over my shoulder. I feel his eyes burn in my back. He's watching me. The American, Crawford.
I've spent one day of my new life. My new life as an assassin. I have now been here for exact twentytwo hours and thirtyfive minutes. I keep on counting it, the ticking time.

I don't like him. I didn't like him the first moment I saw him.
The quiet American.
I don't like him because he knows about the time. He know the importance of it. He know becuase he can see it, the time - the future.
What I also don't like about him, is his fucking expensive suits and cocky attitude. He's that tupical 'mr-knowing-all' type, of that kind that only live to knock down everyone else and tap himself on the head for a job well done.
No, I don't trust him for a secound.
I don't trust anyone.
I don't like people, and people don't like me. So it's mutual. I've lived like that for too long, my little illusion is becoming real. They're so fucking stupid. They don't see what I see. They don't feel my pain. Because they're blind and deaf. And I am mute, so they will never ever know about it.

He's approaching me slowly, staring at me. I don't look up.
He kneel infront of me and give me a condescending look. He smirks at me and pull my face upwards with his thumb. He force me to look at him, but I stare right through him. He is not there. He is invisible air to me.
"You think you can keep this front up forever... Farfarello?" he asks me. I don't move a muscle. I don't even blink.
He snorts and strokes my cheek gently. "Do you really think you can keep shut to me..? I know everything about you Farfarello. I've been watching you for a long while. I've seen your time ticking away..." he says and get to his feet.
I still don't move.
Suddenly I feel something hit into my stomach. I gasp for air, but it's more of a reflex than of pain. I don't feel it. I only feel the hard sole of his fucking expensive Armani shoe, push into my ribs.
I still don't look at him. That would make me the loser. I might be the inferior already, but I don't mind - as usual. I don't care.
I'm to fucked up to care about anything else.

He smirks at me. That sinister smirk. I hate it. It makes him look so fucking superior. He removes his foot from my stomach and just stands there, staring at me for a while.
"You might fool the nurses and guards with that silence. But you can't fool me." he says and turnes around. He leaves the cell and locks the door.
I hear his footsteps echo in the corridor outside. I listen to them until they die away into nothingness.
I sit there, in the cold darkness. The insects are still there. Still tickeling.
My one golden eye is opened wide, but I don't look.
Suddenly a wide smirk curl up my lips. My body is jerking of withheld laughter.
The stupd American really think he is fucking god. But that won't make me give in to him. That just gives me one more reason to continue my little game.

***

/...Our Father, which art in heaven.../

I wake up with a twitch. It's hard to tell if it's really night or not since my cell is always dark. My golden eye look around, scaning the area. No one is there.

/...hollowed by Thy name. Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done.../

I twitch again. These whispers, where does it come from? Am I hallucinating again?
Suddenly I hear footsteps. They echo outside the corridor, in perfect rhythm to the pulsating words in my head.
God's words...

/...on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day, our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive them that trespass against us.../

I sit there and listen to the silent prayer for god. It is not for me. But who is it?
Who's the fucker that is messing with me?
I bit into my lower lip. I don't want to hear. I hate god, I hate his fucking promises about justice and glory. I don't want his preaches.
Suddenly, the footsteps stop and I can sense someone is outside the door to my cell. I can see a slim shadow in the light from the slight slot under the door.

"Und führe uns nicht in Versuchung, sondern erlöse uns von dem Bösen..." a voice pierce through the silence in irreproachable German. The same voice that just a minute ago was preaching for me in my head.
I hate to admit I am actually curious in who this person might be.

The door to my cell opens slowly, and a slight beam of light spread over the cold floor. I look up to face the man standing in the doorway, leaning against the doorframe in a graceful appeariance.
His long red, wild hair is held back from his brilliant jade green eyes by a yellow bandana.
He is tall and his body is slender. His long legs and catlike movements gives him a sensual yet self-confident grace.
I don't trust him, whoever he is. He smells of guilt and sin which of course isn't the reason, but he is far too... 'complicated' to be trusted.

A wide grin strikes his lips and his eyes glimmer in the darkness of my cell.
"So this is the little lamb of god..." he says. I frown at him. I feel the hatered flow in my body.
I am not god's lamb.
I will not accept an insult like that.
I glare at him with my one so golden eye fixed on him. He snort at me and walks inside. He shouldn't be so fucking proud.
They call me crazy, I can kill him. I can rip up his throat with my teeth. The call me mad for a reason. I don't stop when I reach the edge.
I can go on forever.
I can slice him into pieces and drink his blood. Because I am insane, I don't see what is actually happening. I live in my own little imaginary world. I don't see their nice reality.

He chuckle suddenly and shakes his head slowly.
"You fucked up shit." he says and grin at me.
I don't get the joke.
I am dead serious. He should take me seriously if he value his life a little higher.
He shakes his head again and walkes over to me. As always, I sit completly still and silent as the kind and good little madman I am.
He gives me one of those curious looks and scan me from top to toe, not that I'm standing, but anyway.
He's literaly exploring me.
I don't understand how, but somehow the idoit thinks he have the guts to let me out of the straightjacket because suddenly he is unbuckling the big buckles and take it off me. I stare at him in amasement.
He's smirking at me.
Fucking arrogant bastard. You think you can stay alive for five minutes with that attitude against me? I'm not god's child. I will not spare you when you cry out for your mother to save you.

But he takes the other tactic...

"You would probably not. And I don't have a mother." he says and fix me with his eyes. I blink at him.
At first I don't get it. But what do you excpect. How the fuck do you come to the conclusion that someone has just read you fucking mind?!

No, I certainly do not, in any way, trust this man.

He grin at me again. I am starting to hate that selfcomplacent smirk that seems to be glued to his face.
"You're surprised?" he rise an eyebrow. He says it more in condescending than as a question. I still stare at him, my eye glistening of hatered towards him. He is slowly but surely going on my nerves.
"What did you expect. You've already met that stick up his ass pre-cog Crawford, haven't you?" he says and tilt his head.
I don't react. I think he's getting bored in my company. I don't mind. I like the lonelyness.
He gives me a bored look. "You don't say very much. Brad told me you were mute, but since your mind is so full of withheld oppinions I doubt he's right." he says.

True, true. Maybe this little slut has a brain after all. Maybe he can actually think for himself too and not only intrude in others minds. What a comforting thought.
I might like him.
I might like killing him in a very brutal but surely very well done way. I lick my pale lips at the thought. I like to kill. Killing hurts god the most of all.
God is crying when I kill. He's aching of pain when I rip out the hearts of his children. I want him to cry. I want him to suffer, like I do.
I want my revenge on him, and I will have it.
"Of course you will." the redhead is standing up suddenly. I look at him. So he reads minds huh? How sweet. I wonder if their sinful thoughts make god cry. I wonder what he hears.
But I will probably never know.

I twiddle my fingers slowly. How nice. I can feel the cold air brush over my skin. I'm not used being free to move my body however I want.
For the last four or five years I have been wearing a straightjacket as central cloth. I've wore it by night and by day for as long as I can remeber. And suddenly, this fucker just walks inside and rip it off me.
I must say I am impressed.
At the asylum, they would never do such a thing. No one - not even the strongest and most muscular guard would dare touching me in any way. Yet I can't remember how the hell they got it on me. It's strange how humans can scare each other so much.
The redhead walks slowly over to the door again, he moves silently with the same flexibility as a cat. I realise that I am actually watching him. But he is attractive somehow. He is interesting.
His pretty appeariance is screaming for attention, which can't be his biggest loss in life, minding the hair and his perfect features.
He turnes around and gives me one last look. "I think you'll be alright here... Jei." he says and fire the very same selfcomplacent smirk as before.
He chuckle softly, and with that he leaves me alone in the darkness.

I stare at the closed door. I am stunned. I can't move. I hold my breath and swallow.
How dare he. He is obviously asking for it. Like it's written all over him.
How dare he use that name towards me.
Jei is dead. There is no Jei.
Jei is a fucking coward who failed too many times to be forgiven ever again. Jei did not deserve to live. He is dead, gone, finished with life itself. And I killed him. I choked him in his own sins. I raped his soul and I cut his heart into pieces.
There is no fucking Jei! Don't call me Jei!

I am breathing heavily. I blink, and suddenly a tear trickel down my cheek. I don't know why. I don't feel anything. Just... empty.
As I am, empty. Empty and lonely. Sweapt into the darkness. Surrounded by sin and guilt. I shake my head slowly.
He won't have me this time. Now I am strong. I'm not like Jei. I can keep my feet on the ground. I am tollerante. I can make it. I can pass the pointer on the clock dial. I can win against time. I will catch up with it before it knocks me down.
I can and I will.
I won't fail for him. I'll show him who I really am. I'll show him the fucking truth.
The truth about him. That there is no god. There is no paradise. There's just fucking silence. Just the fucking nothingness everywhere.
Emptyness.

I'll show him fucking reality...