TITLE: Gambling My Freedom Away

CHAPTER: Four

BY: Simply Kim

GENRE: Yaoi (Angst/Humor/AU)

CAST: Guys from Weiß and Schwarz... Oh yeah, and maybe the Crashers too if needed... heh, I really don't know...

DISCLAIMERS: The series I'm referring to do not belong to me… ^_^ only the weird story does.

CHAPTER 4: Helplessness

<<RAN>>

"IIE!"

Crawford regarded me with amused eyes, as I sat seething across from him. "We had an agreement, Fujimiya. It was made clear before we started our first game yesterday."

"You're not playing fair! You should've just asked for something from me!" I protested forcefully, I knew that my face was burning as red as my hair, but I did not mind... the more he sees me agitated, the more he would get it through his thick skull that I will NEVER agree to what he proposed!

"I'm playing fair kitten -" The impossible miscreant began, as he took a sip of his Cordial.

I felt the hairs on the back of my head bristle in annoyance.

KITTEN?

Couldn't he come up with better English words to describe me? He could call me a Daredevil... that would be a good description... or maybe even an "Unlucky Gambler"... but... KITTEN?

"DON'T call me THAT!" I huffed, leaving him to withstand the full brunt of the infamous Fujimiya Death Glare. Of course, he did not even flinch from the intense hatred bombarding him through eye contact.

"As I was saying, before you NICELY interrupted me, I AM playing fair." Wet rosy lips were pulled apart by a small smile. "I did not cheat, and I DID ask something from you."

"No you didn't!" I argued desperately. I am running out of excuses here... don't you see that you CAN'T EVER make me do what you want me to do? How insensitive can you get? "You did not ask anything from me... you asked for ME!"

Yes, he asked for me.... ME!

I really hate this guy!

"Ah, correction, kitten, I did not ask for you... I asked for WHAT you can DO for me, your service."

I winced at the impact of the last word. GREAT. I knew that if I agree with the conditions, I would be humiliating - no - DEGRADING myself.

Calm down, Fujimiya... cool it...

I took a couple of deep calming breaths and tried to negotiate with the blasted American. "Look, why don't I just do the bar, I mean, you know, just work in here... I'm good at flipping anything."

"So I've noticed." Crawford smirked, his voice full of lusty innuendo. "I will have a better idea of what other things you could flip aside from alcohol bottles when you agree to what I'm proposing."

How dare he? However, my body betrayed me as a shiver ran up my spine when my brain registered the change in his voice.

I felt...

I took another deep breath, a deep blush still lingering across my cheeks.

"That wasn't funny."

"I know."

Even if I'm not holding a mirror, I knew that a vein had just popped on my pale forehead. I wanted to kill Crawford. Kill. Kill. Kill. "ARE YOU PLAYING WITH ME?"

A self-satisfied smile and a puff of cigarette smoke were his only answers.

Another vein popped from my forehead. "Teme..." I muttered, glaring daggers at the seemingly unaffected man. My hands clenched into fists as my willpower tried to control a violent outburst of anger that threatened to overcome my senses.

"What would it be then, Fujimiya?" Crawford asked, studying his buffed fingernails, a truly gaijin way of saying he's bored as hell with the conversation. I wanted to strangle him right then and there, however, I decided that my revenge would be fulfilled only if I'm not rotting behind bars. Bradley Crawford isn't worth a lifetime sentence in Keimusho no Fuitchi, the infamous prison in our side of Japan.

Must not kill.

Must not kill.

Must not kill.

I glared at him, and he stared tolerantly at me.

I couldn't help thinking that he's so sure of what the turnout of our argument would be... I shook my head, clearing my brain of hallucinatory thoughts. Crawford has supernatural abilities? Hn, get real. No one believes in that kind of shit anymore...

Okay, okay, so I DO believe in supernatural abilities. Schu has one - he can read everyone else's minds... but THIS GUY? I seriously doubt it.

I glared at him, and he stared tolerantly at me.

We stared at each other's eyes.

I felt weird.

So I lost.

I blinked and turned away, my eyes searching the window, trying to stay calm as my heart pounded in the chamber of my chest, and my blood gushed through every nerve, making me feel as if I was going to faint.

I couldn't breathe.

I lost.

I humiliated my family all over again.

I failed them.

So what more do I have to live for?

My family's gone... there's no one to stay alive for. Youji will have his Schu, and Omi will have them both and his studies to boot. So what risk do I have to avoid? I mean, I'm a hopeless case, right?

I watched the outside world, feeling so alone as a family hurried past the casino window. They were happy... they were complete.

Mine's gone...

I failed them.

I don't deserve happiness.

I turned back at Crawford, staring into his expectant golden brown orbs.

"Okay, you won fair and square..."

The American lifted a disbelieving eyebrow, and a grin tugged at the corners of his mouth.

"I will do as you whatever it is you want me to do."

Crawford closed his eyes after my admission, a full-blown smile on his face. Quietly, he stood up and dusted his clothes. "Great, you can start - "

"Can I see my family first?" I cut him off, bowing my head and staring determinedly at my shoes, impatient to see my present family and inform them of what happened. "I'll come back later."

Silence.

I knew he was eyeing me, thinking that I have a chance of escaping if I did go home now. "I don't understand... I thought you don't have a family anymore?"

I flinched at the callous question. "I don't. But I have people who had become a family to me for the past five years. Just let me say goodbye to them. It's the least I can do since I can't see them again when I start to live where you do." My words were spoken in a monotone.

Monotonous but with an underlying ring of pain.

Pain.

I deserve this.

I deserve this punishment.

I failed them.

I will have no redemption.

I deserve this.

I waited in silence as he thought of my wish.

"Then go. Come back after you're through."

I admit I was surprised. I thought he wouldn't let me go this time. I took a deep breath and looked up. He was gone.

I had not even heard his footsteps as he went away.

Slowly, I stood up. Tears blurred my vision as I walked towards the open doors.

There is no turning back.

* * *

"Okaeri." Schuldig greeted me, a smile on his face as he stood by the door he opened a second ago. "Ran... you look like SHIT! Come on in! What happened?"

It was comforting, the way Schu greeted me. The German's a bit vulgar at times, but still, it doesn't make me feel dirty. In fact... I felt more relaxed when he's at his most "amusing" behavior.

"Schu... Watashi wa... watashi wa..."

"English Ran!" Schuldig grinned, his eyes dancing merrily as I forgot yet again that he's not very well versed with Japanese. The only words he surely knew the meanings were "Shimatta", "K'so", "Zakkenayo", "Baka", "Aho", "Shi-ne" and "Omae o korosu" - all of which were thrown at him when he and Yotan were having their daily dose of fighting. Ah... mine too... umm... the "Shi-ne" part. I tend to say that a lot whenever he grates at my nerves as he annoys the living daylights out of me in the mornings.

Mornings.

Now I won't even hear him padding around, never feel his fingers pinch my cheeks, never hear him tease me by making fun of my name... calling me a "cute little orchid" as he ruffles my sleep-disheveled hair.

"Ran-kun! You're home! Finally!"

Omi.

I will never see Omi's mediator-like attitude whenever Yotan and Schu bombard each other with ruthless words over a drowning flower display. I will never taste his infamous udon again.

"Look oniichan!" Omi cried merrily as he spotted his older brother emerging from somewhere behind him. "Ran-kun's home!"

There was happiness in Youji's eyes when his emerald orbs locked into mine. He smiled, stepping forward to greet me with a hug. I took a slight step back, which caused a drop of suspicion from his liquid gaze.

Yotan. The person who gave me back my life when I lost it five years ago. He gave me back my spirit... the will to try to move on. He gave me his support and I gave him my trust.

I gave him my trust.

And he gave his trust back... with love... with much brotherly love.

Yotan... my brother, my friend, my... my...

My family.

I started for him, reaching out in desperation. He caught me in his arms and held me tight as I cried, clutching at him as if my life depended on it. I cried and cried, saturating his shirt with my tears.

I am weak.

I usually don't admit that I am... but in this case, I could not deny it.

I need someone to depend on... someone who would make the hurt go away.

I had my old family... but they had been taken away five years ago. Now I have another family... one where I felt I belonged...

And the same person who took my biological family away from me is taking me away from them.

I couldn't bear it anymore. I wanted to die... and yet I couldn't. I owe Yotan that much. He wanted me to stay alive. Never give up, he said. Life may look down at times, but there's always a chance for it to finally look up.

"Ran..." He murmured, his voice muffled as he nuzzled my hair with his lips. "Ran... daijoubu desu ka?"

I shook my head, tears flowing more freely now than before. I buried myself deeper in his embrace.

"I lost..." I sobbed. "He wants me... he wants me to..."

"He wants you to what Ran?" Yotan's voice was as pained as mine. He buried his lips further into my hair. They were trembling... as if he knew what I would say next.

"His prize... I am his prize..."

* * *

Yotan had another attack that evening. I was torn between going back to the damned casino and staying with my bond-brother until he's well again. The moment I said the words, his heartbeat went haywire. He cried out in pain as I disentangled from our embrace. He clutched at his chest and fell to his knees on the carpeted floor.

I cried for him, but Schuldig held me back, whispering reassuring words in my ear as Omi helped his older brother up, leading him to his room. Slowly, Schu swayed, taking me with him in his slight dancing steps. He held me tight... as if he never wanted me to let go.

"Yotan... he'll be alright wouldn't he?" I asked him brokenly through my tears. "Schu... I... I'm sorry for..."

"Hush. It's not your fault." He murmured, pushing me away from him slightly so as to look deep into my tear-filled eyes. "You did all you can in that game... and Yotan... Yotan's just upset... he'll be alright, you will too... you'll see."

"No I won't." I said. "I will never be alright Schu... and I wouldn't see... I'm forbidden to go back here. He's going to make me his prisoner... in that place... that... that place... that..."

"Stop crying." He said quietly, his eyes determined as he gazed at me. "If you don't find anything pleasing out there, we're going to find a way to let you escape from that place. I promise." He tapped his head with a slender forefinger. "I can talk to you through this, right?"

"Yes, but -"

He put a warm finger on my lips. "No, don't argue. All in due time Ran, if you need us, we'll be there."

"Schu."

"That's a promise, Ran."

* * *

After saying my tearful goodbyes, I packed my meager belongings and took them with me.

"I see you're back." A mocking voice issued out from behind a tall Sakura as I stepped onto the greenery-filled area a mile from the casino. "I thought you'd escape."

I jumped, startled. I peered out into the darkness. The glint of his spectacles gave him away.

It was Crawford.

"You thought wrong." I retorted, pulling my baggage with me toward where he stood, an unlit cigarette clamped loosely between his lips. He smirked.

"Maybe." He turned around and gestured for me to come with him.

Stiff as I was, I willed myself to move, and so I did. He led me to his car and told me to put my luggage in the back of the car that was waiting for us at the wide clearing. As soon as I was strapped in, I turned to him full of questions.

"Where are we going?"

"To my house."

"Why?"

"Don't ask too many questions. Personal slaves don't ask questions."

I immediately shut up and looked out at the passing scenery. It was dark, and the area we were trekking was scary.

~ Oi, Ran, are you there? ~

Schuldig.

~ I am. ~

~ Are you doing alright? ~

~ I'm still alive... so yes... I guess I am. ~

~ That wasn't funny, you know. We're worried about you, especially Yotan. ~

Youji...

~ Is he alright? What did the doctor say? ~

~ He's already stable, so don't worry too much. ~

I sighed in relief. I turned my head away from the window a bit and saw Crawford's knuckles turn white from gripping the steering wheel too hard. I wondered why.

~ Schu, why is Crawford gripping the steering wheel? ~

~ Crawford is there with you? ~

Now I was surprised. Usually, Schuldig knows when someone is with any of us. He feels the push of our companions' minds and he reads their thoughts. So... why can't Schu feel the push of the American's mind?

~ Stop joking Schu... I'm already pissed off, so don't be an annoyance anymore. Please? ~

~ No Ran, I'm not joking. I cannot feel any push around you... that guy must have strong shields... ~

~ Shields? ~

I could mentally hear Schu sigh. ~ Something your pea-sized brain couldn't understand. ~

I winced. ~ Ouch. ~

~ Ah, sorry... that wasn't an insult - it's just my expression, remember? ~

I sighed again. ~ Yeah, yeah... I know. ~

Then, the car stopped.

"We're here." I looked out into the window again and my jaw visibly dropped in awe.

I was looking at a MANSION!

~ Ah, sorry to cut our talk short, but Yotan's calling for me. ~

~ It's alright... I... I... have to tend to my job anyways... ~

~ Ah, good night then. ~

~ Aa... Oyasumi. ~

"Are you getting out of there or not?"

I flinched from the ice in Crawford's voice. I looked at him and his eyes bored into mine.

Icy golden brown versus confused amethyst.

No wonder he won.

I blinked and turned away. I quickly popped open the latch on the door and slid quietly out, feeling an intense stare on me.

I heard footsteps walking away from me and I immediately looked at where Crawford once was, only to find the area empty. I surveyed the whole area, and finally saw him walking up the path towards a huge oaken doorway.

I turned my gaze away from his lean frame and back at the huge mansion I was about to live in.

I took a deep breath, a feeling of dread settling deep into the pit of my stomach.

There was no turning back.

* * * * * * * *

TBC

* * * * * * * *

A/N: How about that guys? Good chapter or not? ^___^ I seem to make Ran suffer a lot... and Yotan too! L Well, hope you liked this part! On to the next chapter everyone! Reviews, reviews!!! ^_______^