Weiss Kreuz Fan Fiction ❯ Surrounded By Darkness ❯ Pain ( Chapter 2 )

Surrounded By Darkness

By: Atsureki

Disclaimers : This fic wouldn't be here if I owned them!

Warnings : OCC, yaoi, angst, short chapter.

Pairing : Yoji/Ken

Notes : Stuff written in Italic are thoughts.

Chapter 2. Pain

Ken hid his face in the pillow as he listened to the familier sounds. It had been the same almost every night since he had come back from the hospital. Early in the morning he would wake up, if he was asleep, to the sounds of a drunk Yoji stumbling up the stairs to his room, their room. The blonde still hadn't said a word to him and it hurt so much.

He had really thought that Yoji loved him but obviously that was just something he had imagined? Ken curled up and hugged his pillow to his face to suffocate the sobs. Tears were the only thing his eyes were good for now. He winced as a sharp stab of pain warned him about crying again.

His doctor had told him that patients that had suffered from damages to the brain sometimes were plagued by headaches so severe that they couldn't even move because of the pain. Scared he tried to stop the tears and the sobbing but he just couldn't. It was too much to deal with everything from the darkness that now was his reality to the fact that his lover had turned his back on him.

Suddenly his whole body tensed and he let out a choked scream of pure agony. It was like nothing he had ever felt in his life before. The pain was tearing him apart as it shot through him. His head was pulled to the side as the muscles in his neck contracted. Ken screamed again. He couldn't take the pain, it was scaring him so much and made even worse by the fact that he couldn't see anything.

"Please help me," he whimpered and moaned as lightning after lightning of scolding white agony ran through his body. Fingers touched his face and he let out a squeak of fear but he knew that touch. The first hand was joined by a second and they pulled him close to a body he knew so well. "I… I ca… can't breathe." He was turned over on his side and gentle fingers started massaging the painfully tense muscles in his neck.

"What's wrong with him?" a quiet voice asked.

"I don't know." He heard the sounds of someone moving around but the hands never left him.

"Try these. Doctor Ishikawa prescribed them for him." A pill was placed in his mouth and the hands tried to rearrange him so he was sitting. It hurt so he let out a yelp and squeezed his eyes shut.

"You have to drink something to swallow that pill," the familier and safe voice said and something cool was placed against his lips. "Just take a little sip baby." Ken did as he was told and managed to force the pill down his throat.

"Hu… hurts."

"I know Ken I know. Does it help when I do this?" Fingers started massaging his neck again and the brunette groaned in pain. It hurt but it also lessened the pain. After almost half an hour Ken's dark world turned silent and he slipped away.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Yoji stared at the brunette and for a moment he almost thought Ken was dead. Trembling the blonde let go and backed away. He had been so scared when he heard the painfilled screams. Ken was still breathing but he had obviously passed out.

"How is he?" Yoji turned around and swallowed.

"I… He's asleep or something."

"Doctor Ishikawa warned us about this," a deep smooth voice said flatly. "But you wouldn't know anything about that since you weren't there!" Yoji lowered his eyes and corrected his clothes. Aya was right, he hadn't been there for Ken. "You've been drinking again haven't you?"

"Aya-kun, this isn't helping Ken-kun," Omi mumbled and shook his head.

"Neither is he!" the redhead snorted and went back to his room.

"Why Yoji-kun? Why are you punishing him so much and for what?" The lanky blonde looked at his youngest friend but he didn't answer. He didn't know how to explain how he felt inside because he didn't really understand it himself. "You can blame him for not noticing that guard Yoji-kun, but it isn't fair to blame him for loving you, for trying to protect you," Omi said firmly and left him alone.

Green eyes closed and the tall blonde sighed deeply. He loved Ken, he wanted Ken but… a part of him also hated the brunette, although not for the reasons Aya or Omi had stated, and that part knew that he couldn't have Ken, not now, not ever again. Yoji turned his back to his lover, former lover, and walked out. He shouldn't have allowed himself to fall for Ken but it was too late for second thoughts now.

"Just look at what my love did you to you," the blonde mumbled sadly as he entered his own dark cold room. It was so empty without Ken and he could barely stand it.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Ken was awake but he tried not to move a muscle in fear that the pain would return. Besides, it wasn't like he could get up or anything. He couldn't even go to the bathroom on his own anymore. Every day, and night for that matter, was spent in his bed, alone in the suffocating darkness.

Extremely carefully Ken brushed away some hair that was tickling his face. Yoji had helped him the previous night but why? Why did he even bothered? The brunette slowly flipped over to his back and rubbed his temples. He wished he was dead and he would have made his wish come true if he only could. But that was the problem wasn't it? Since he had gone blind he was completely and utterly helpless. Comitting suicide was out of the question.

"How pathetic is that?" he growled and hit the bed. "If I'm gonna kill myself I have to ask for help 'cause I can't fucking see!" Tears of frustration and anger started building up in his eyes. Why couldn't that damn bullet just have killed him instead? Couldn't he have died from it like a normal person? Life was so unfair.

And then there was Yoji… Yoji hated him, he could feel it, why Ken wasn't exactly sure of though and it didn't really make any diffrence. He wanted to go away, to forget his blonde former lover but where was he suppose to go? Helpless, with no family and blind? It wasn't exactly like he could just pack his things and go. It was hopeless and it was killing him inside.

He needed help but even more so he needed Yoji's love. But he wasn't going to have that, was he? The lanky blonde had turned his back on him when he needed him the most and he couldn't really understand why. Ken wiped away his tears and sighed sadly.

He was nothing more than a pathetic fool who cried over someone who obviously no longer wanted him. A pathetic blind fool who was completely useless. A sarcastic smile appeared on the brunette's face.

"You don't have to wait for me in hell anymore Kase," he suddenly said out loud. "I might still be alive but I'm already in hell."

~TBC~

Poor Ken *sighs* And what is really going on with Yoji? He's suffering too and he really should have a talk with Kenken ne? What's Ken gonna do? Is he gonna try to kill himself or will someone help him get back among the living again? Ja/Atsureki