Wolf's Rain Fan Fiction ❯ Ookami Ketsueki [Wolf Blood] ❯ Shades Of Gray ( Chapter 1 )

Doragon Jisatsu (DJ): First fic on mediaminer.org, R+R please.

Notes: Everything with '' around the text is Kurushimi's thoughts.

Chapter 1: Shades Of Gray

' It kept happening more and more. One minute I'd be completely fine and the next…I'd start seeing red then before I knew what was happening, I was slashing someone's throat out and leaving them on the street to bleed to death.

I'd go home after an 'incident' would happen and curl up into a ball in the corner thinking what a monster I was. How horrible I was for doing something like that.

There was no telling when I was going to let all hell loose on the person closet to me, they had done nothing wrong to deserve such a savage death by my hands.

Selia, my blind caretaker, would comfort me and reassure me it wasn't be fault. It was just the wild animal in me that I had suppressed all these years that was beginning to surface with violent acts. She was an old woman with frizzy white hair, walked with a cane, and wore ragged clothing, but nonetheless, her occasional words of wisdom made up for her grungy look. She had taken care of me since before I could remember and always gave me excellent advice when it counted.

However, these words weren't comforting, they just frightened me more.

I lived in fear of when I'd snap on an unsuspecting person, I never wanted to hurt people, but I couldn't control it at all. '

"Selia, why does this happen to me?" A young teenage girl with long black hair with silver tips and quivering brown eyes asked while facing a wall, curled up into a ball and hugging her knees, "I don't like it one bit."

The old woman rocked back and forth gently in her rocking chair for a few seconds then said quietly, "Things happen that we cannot control Kurushimi, but learning to live with that is part of life."

"But I hurt people!" Kurushimi protested sitting up and facing the old woman, "No matter what you say, it is my fault for being like this!" She hunched her shoulders forward and covered her face in hands as globules of tears formed slowly streamed down her cheeks.

"Stop your silly tears." Selia demanded, "It isn't your fault for being who and what you are. Nobody can control that."

Kurushimi clenched her fists and shook her head angrily, "It's disgusting what I do to people and it's what I am is revolting." She wiped the hot tears off her face with the sleeve of her gray hoodie sweatshirt, "I'm sickening."

Selia twiddled her wrinkly thumbs idly, "If that is what you think then so be it, but what do you think others think about you?"

"The same thing," Kurushimi answered now sitting cross-legged leaning on the wall behind her and with narrowing her eyes which now looked glazed over.

"Is that so…" Selia sighed, "Well, I don't."

Kurushimi raised an eyebrow questioningly, "Really?"

Selia nodded, "I'd think you're horrible if you didn't care about killing those people. You feel remorse where usually a wild animal wouldn't."

"That's because I'm half human," Kurushimi grumbled hardly audible to be heard and narrowing her eyes.

' Half human and half wolf…how more vile can I possibly be? Selia may not be grossed out by me, or at least pretending not to be, but I hate myself for being what I am how can she not hate me too?

I've left countless numbers of people bleeding to death on the street just because I can't control myself. Men, woman and even…children. I've killed them all without remorse in the action, but then when I realize what has happened, I can't bare the pain in my heart. It's almost unbearable.'

"Listen…" Selia said sternly, lacing her fingers together and resting her chin on them, "I can only imagine the pain you must feel inside yourself. It is like being torn apart inside, your human half fighting your wolf half. Your wolf half has been subdued so long, that it's all in rage for not being let out. Perhaps, it would have been wiser to let you embrace both of your heritages, but I thought I had chosen the one that would have been safer for you to be. But now, others are suffering for that mistake." She paused then chuckled, "Forget that Kurushimi, I'm just a rambling senile old lady."

"It's probably true," Kurushimi mumbled through gritted teeth.

"Just accept who you are and the pain will lessen," Selia said closing her eyes and rocking in her creaking rocking chair, "I've accepted you, now try to do the same. One will never be truly happy with ones self if one does not accept themselves."

"You're rambling again." The girl said rolling her eyes, "You truly have gotten old."

The woman snorted, "So you agree with me on that account?"

"I agree that you talk tediously." Kurushimi said resting her check in her palm that was propped up on her knee.

"Hormones…" Selia muttered, "One minute she's crying the next she's pissed at me."

"I'm not mad at you." Kurushimi argued in a loud voice.

Suddenly there was a knock on the door to the room.

"Come in," Selia said flatly.

A young girl with big blue eyes and brown hair that was put up into high pigtails and wearing a pink summer dress with scuffed black shoes poked her head into the room, "Kuru, you said you'd play with us today." the girl whined in a high pitch voice. The girl ran over to Kurushimi and pulled on her arm, "Play with me and Tori!" she commanding trying to pull Kurushimi up.

Kurushimi reluctantly stood up, "I'll be back later Selia." She called as the young girl dragged her out of the room. Kurushimi followed the young girl and wished she could pull her hand out of the sticky hand that the young girl had.

The girl pulled Kurushimi outside into the fresh air where a girl about the same age, but with short blond hair and green eyes wearing a brown skirt, a black blouse and sandals was waiting. "KURU!" she shrieked delightfully and ran over and grabbed Kurushimi's free hand, "We're going to have so much fun today, right Yume?"

Yume nodded which caused her pigtails to bounce up and down, "Yep yep!"

Yume and Tori smiled cheerily at Kurushimi, "Let's play tag!" they cried together in unison.

"How about we play leave the teenager alone," Kurushimi suggested in a low grumble under her breath.

Tori giggled innocently, "It's funny when you talk to yourself."

Kurushimi rolled her eyes and wanted berate the two girls, but they were young and didn't know any better so she let them pull her wherever they wished.

I really hate kids…

As they dragged her toward where they wanted to go, Kurushimi began feeling dizzy and stumbled then tripped.

"Are you okay?" Yume asked with mild concern for her.

"I'm fine," Kurushimi said sitting up and holding her head with her hand then standing up, "It's just a head ache is all." She regained her balance and continued walking.

Tori and Yume held her hands again and pulled her in the direction of there favorite play area, an abandoned warehouse which they often had been told not to go near, but they never listened, even to adults. Kurushimi hated the place, the strong smell of mold and musk was hard on her 'delicate' wolf nose.

"Aw," Yume groaned, "There's already somebody here." She pointed to a bulky man in his late thirties leaning against the entrance of the warehouse.

He saw them and staggered over slowly, Kurushimi could smell the beer on him and hastily pushed Tori and Yume behind her, "Can I help you?" she asked staring at him as he swayed with each step closer he took.

"Yea…" He said leering at her, "In a manner of a fact you can."

Kurushimi hated the smell of beer breathe, "Go away." she demanded in a calm tone, trying to keep her cool, "I'm sorry, but we can't help you."

The man paused then quickly drew a knife from the inside of his dark brown overcoat and held it to her throat, "Listen girlie, I'm just looking for a good time, don't make it difficult for you and little friends."

Tori and Yume whimpered silently behind Kurushimi, but Kurushimi smirked, "You think that puny little blade scares me?" She glared at him with a deadly stare, "Don't tempt me, unless you want your corpse laying here and bleeding for all to see."

The man considered for a second then chuckled darkly, "And what is a girl like you going to do to me?" His grin grew boarder and he pushed the blade down on her neck so a trickle of blood streamed down to her collar bone, "Just cooperative girl."

"I have problems with cooperating with stupid bastards," She growled, "This is your last warning."

"What are you going to do if I try?" he whispered leaning over to her ear then tracing his tongue along the tip.

'I warned him…he's dead.'

Without any reluctance, she swiped her claws across his chest and flung him back onto the ground.

"I did tell you didn't I?" She looked over her shoulder at Tori and Yume, "Go home."

The two girls nodded and ran off.

Kurushimi turned her attention back to the drunk man and grabbed the collar of his jacket and pulled him up, "You should learn to listen. You've tried my patience for humans today." Then, despite his pleading, she ripped open his throat making him usher a bloodcurdling scream. She dropped his limp body unto the ground and spat on him, "Asshole." She looked at her bloody hand and licked the blood off of it. "Even their blood is repulsive." She shoved her hands into her front sweatshirt pocket and walked home where she was greeted by Selia.

"Tori and Yume told me," Selia said instantly when she heard Kurushimi enter, "At least you killed him on your own accord."

Kurushimi folded her arms across her chest and sank down against the wall beside Selia, "That was possibly the most disgusting human ever, most of them are anyway, right? I mean some people are totally cool though, but others are just idiots."

Selia took a deep breath, "You can't simply divide the world into two types of people: good and bad because between black and white are shades of gray."

Kurushimi contemplated that for a few seconds than asked raising her eyebrows, "What the hell does that mean?"

"In due time you'll understand," Selia replied, "When you understand that maybe you'll understand people and perhaps even yourself better."

"You're defiantly losing your mind old lady," Kurushimi mused.

"Oh really?" Selia said, "You think so? What evidence do you have of that?"

Kurushimi bit her inside of her cheek to keep from giggling, "Never mind." She closed her eyes and breathed in and out deeply, taking in the scents around her, but one whiff stood out from the other smells.

'That smell, it's so familiar. I know I've smelt it before, it smells…like…another…wolf.'

She opened her eyes and jumped up, "Another wolf!" she exclaimed to herself.

"What was that?" Selia asked, "Do you smell something Kurushimi."

But Kurushimi didn't answer she had already dashed out of the room and in the direction of the vague scent filled with excitement because she had never meet another wolf besides herself (but she didn't really count as a 100% genuine wolf).

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Kurushimi's profile:

Name: Kurushimi

Nickname: Kuru

Age: looks 14-16

Eye color: brown

Hair color: black with silver tips

Height: 5'3

Attire: Gray hoodie sweatshirt with loose denim jeans and black sneakers.

Wolf fur: very light silver (almost white) with dark gray paws

Wolf eye color: light blue

That's what she looks like…

Name Translations:

Kurushimi= Japanese word for pain

Selia= Celtic name for blind

Tori= Japanese for bird

Yume= Japanese for dream