Wolf's Rain Fan Fiction ❯ Passion ❯ Passion ( Chapter 1 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Don't own them but wish I did. I give support to the creator and the team that worked on the anime. A great story so I hope you like my version of what I think could happen later. Remember, fanfiction is opinionated so don't bother to flame me because none of this really happened, except in my head.
People always say that love never last for long. It fades away once you begin to understand a person and you can't help but look for another person's faults. You try and try to be faithful and love them but you end up breaking hearts. At least that's what humans say about each other. They always find love, fall in love, and then fall out of love like it was a hobby. Kind of sad really…
But for when wolves mate; it for life…period. We don't bother to try to chase every tail we see once we find our mates. We might go through extremes to try to deny ourselves from what we feel but once we feel it and are sure; there's no stopping any wolf alive from getting to their mates once they want to be with them. We might not be traditional wolves, i.e. wolves that can't turn into humans, but we are wolves.
We live amongst humans, watch them as they breed and die, we look on as they take and kill each other and we howl as they fall in and out of love light day turning to night. At one time we all existed as one, humans and wolves together, but now it is impossible. Humans are too arrogant in their way of life and too stubborn to truly change. They say that it is the way they are and that it is no way for them to change but I really think it's by choice.
It is by choice that they take from the planet; it is by choice that they hurt one another, it is choice that makes them love and hate and it is by choice that they choose to deny each other. I learned this by watching the one I love, the one that is my chosen mate, as he tries to ignore his feelings. He tries to ignore what he feels and struggles to fight so hard that it gets a little funny sometimes to see the look on his face when he thinks I'm not looking. He stares at me and then he will lick his lips, just a bit, so that his pink tongue makes a shy appearance.
I started to feel something for him when I first met him; I thought it was a friendship since I had never really had friends before, but as I journeyed with him and the others I started to change my decision. As we traveled from place to place, every searching for this paradise, I began to feel things that scared me. I didn't know what love was and definitely not lust but as I kept on walking with them I slowly understood.
My dreams really helped me out the most; I would be somewhere, maybe a beach standing in the moonlight, sometimes in a room overlooking a city, there was even the time that I was strapped onto a table spread out and completely naked. It was always the same though, he would come for me; on the beach he would be walking like a ghost over the white sands, in the room he would come from the doorway and those rare times that I was strapped naked, he would crawl from the floor in his other form over me. But, in every dream Tsume would touch me, kiss me, hold me, cherish me, ravish me, love me, lust for me and take me. And after, he would forever hold me tightly to him and then cuddle up with me.
I wish that my dreams were only about our lovemaking but they weren't; sometimes they told me of catastrophe and death. I had sometimes envisioned all of us dying at one time and with each time I did what I could to avoid it. The time with the soldiers I played the role of innocent idiot and led us to that dead forest, the time with the walrus is when I let loose something in me that I never knew was there but had always felt.
The last dream I had was the worst and I still get shudders when I think about it; we were all on a mountain dying or dead. It was so cold and I was being draped on by that human with the shotgun, Tsume was alone, Blue and Hige were close to each other by a large rock and Kiba was carrying a flower seed to a large lake of water. He drowned in the water as the red moon turned white and then I wake up.
I feel as if this is an omen waiting to come into reality, and I get so scared. The others don't understand; Kiba is so obsessed over Cheza and paradise that it's pitiful, Hige follows Blue and vice versa, and Tsume…Tsume follows me as I follow him. For along time I've been afraid to chance my feelings with him because I don't believe that he is ready. He's more innocent than I am in certain matters and then again more experienced with others. I guess that's how we complement each other. He tries to turn away my affections because he is afraid of me; funny, I could hurt him worse than he could me. I know I can't take Tsume on in a fight but I could kill what's left of who he is. I could reject him.
Tsume is a person who can't stand to be rejected, he is an outcast because who can hurt one that is alone, but if I were to ignore him and actually mean it. I know that Tsume would die. A lone wolf can survive only so long, and even though Tsume could survive he needs someone around him. Someone to give him a sense of self, someone to define the fact that he is a loner, an outcast and one that is not wanted. He thinks that he is not wanted or needed by anyone so he acts so tough but then why did he follow us?
I looked back on that fateful day for months and then the answer hit me but I wanted to be sure. When we all asleep I slipped from the pack and trotted off, not too far but just enough to be noticeable. Like clockwork he was the one to come after me, I don't even think that the others would and I really don't care in truth, I only needed Tsume with me. Anyway, just as I let him catch up with me I stopped and looked to the full moon and prayed I wasn't making a mistake.
Tsume: Runt, what are you doing?
Toboe: …
Tsume: Runt, didn't you hear me?
Toboe: …
Tsume: TOBOE!!!!!
I slowly turned to him and looked into his amber eyes and then I asked the question I knew he dreaded the most.
Toboe: Tsume, why are you here?
Tsume: Wha? Kid, I came to see why you decide to leave and make sure that you don't get lost again.
Toboe: That's not what I asked. Why are you here with us?
Tsume seemed to draw in on himself never expecting this question from in this manner. He knew that I wanted a serious answer and I would accept nothing else. He looked at me and tried to growl but my gaze was that of a predator; I had to stand firm or he would try to come up with something real stupid to say. No, not tonight.
Tsume: It's none of your concern. Just get back to the others.
I reached out and grabbed him by his leather-covered shoulder and then pulled him back to me. I wouldn't let him run away and I would show him that I'm not the runt he thinks I am.
Toboe: You could at least have the decency to answer me Tsume. Are you afraid?
Tsume growled at me and then tried to shake me off but I was relentless. I would have an answer on this night and by moon, I would do what it took to get it. I growled back at him and then swept up his legs, not expecting such a move he tumbled down and then looked up at me. Anger was his first reaction but as I bared my fangs in his face with my still human form he tried to fight back by rising off the ground.
They all had underestimated my strength over the last few months, I was not the same pup I used to be, and I would make Tsume see that. I used my strength to keep him pinned to the grassy earth but as he tried to change into a wolf a snapped my fangs at his throat. Tsume instantly stilled at this. Good.
Toboe: I asked you a simple question and all I want is the truth. I can give you the reason I think you follow us if that what you wish.
Tsume: Runt, I'm going to…
I snapped at his neck again and he stilled, his eyes gone wide at my show of dominance. I looked into his amber eyes and saw his fear but I wouldn't relent until I had my answer.
Toboe: Tsume…why do you follow us?
The older wolf said nothing. He turned his head and lay still waiting for me to make a mistake so that he could run away. No, not until I had my answer.
Toboe: I think you follow us so that you can define yourself.
He looked into my eyes like I was crazy but I moved along.
Toboe: You don't have anybody and that's how you wish it to be but really you don't. You hate to be alone for longer than you feel is necessary. You followed us from that city because you could define yourself through us.
Tsume looked away and I felt that I was on the right track.
Toboe: Without anyone you can't define who you are. You once asked, “What kind of pack are we?” the reason is because you want to be defined. You want to have a place to belong, you feel like you need to have a place or else you become lost.
I could smell salt in his eyes and I knew I hit the mark. He was growling almost like a rabid dog but with a snap to his neck he stilled.
Toboe: I figured it out when I thought about your pack of humans. You didn't need them; you could survive on your own without anyone's help. You just used them to define that you were an alpha, that you had dominance over someone else.
Tsume looked to me and then I could see a tear in his eye roll down his check. Bingo.
Toboe: You could leave us at anytime but then you couldn't define yourself in a pack anymore. That's what you want, isn't it? You want someone to define you.
I bowed my head to his neck and lapped at the tears falling on his check.
Toboe: Tsume let me tell you something. If nothing else matters, if nothing I say stays with you after this night believe this; I will define you. You are my alpha, not Kiba. I follow Kiba to follow you. You follow Kiba because you can use him to define yourself. An alpha but not an alpha. Not a beta. Yet not an alpha.
Tsume howled and through me off of his body. I'm lucky my fangs weren't in him or I could have seriously hurt him. He looked at me like a frightened child who had seen a monster. He was both scared and enrage and I knew what was coming next; I braced myself. He was still human when he barreled into me and knocked me on my back. He had his fangs so close to my throat and then I felt tears on my face.
Tsume: You don't know anything about me! How the hell do you know what I think? I don't need anybody! Not you. Not Kiba! Not Hige! No one! Don't you dare say this shit to me or I'll kill you kid! Do you understand me?
His eyes were full of pain and I knew that this was the only chance I would get so I took it. I did the one thing he would never expect. I challenged him. I snapped at his neck and then pushed against him. I knew blood would be shed but I knew it would be worth it, if only to see the real Tsume.
Toboe: So you say that you don't need us to define you? You say that you need no one?
I rushed at him and then snapped at his neck with full intent to fight him. He roared at me and then bit me back…hard. I tried to contain my attempt at whimpering because I knew he would regret hurting me later, but we needed this. Tsume needed to be honest with himself if I wanted to purse him as a mate later on so that he would except wholeheartedly or deny me wholeheartedly. And, I needed this for myself, because he was mine. I would have to make him understand that someday. That's if he didn't kill me tonight.
Tsume continued his assault against my body and then he tried to grab my scruff in his jaws. I dodged and then knocked him over onto his side. I got on his back and dug my claws into his pelt and hung onto him. He tried to wrestle me to the grass by scrapping me onto the ground but I held strong. I bit on his neck with just enough force to make it hurt but not to fatally injure him.
Toboe: Then why are you with us?
My question was simple and he fought even harder. My strength was waning and then I had to try something or risk loosing it all. It leapt from his back and just as he charged at me I turned from a wolf to a human and through myself to the ground. Tsume flew over me and hit a nearby tree. Momentarily stunned I made my move; all or nothing.
I turned back into a wolf and then I grabbed Tsume by his neck and bit as hard as I could without breaking any of his vital organs. I tasted his blood and was able to get a sick thrill from it; our anger, the red moon above us, the battle for dominance between us and my love for him. I knew that it would all come to an end tonight; I just hoped we would live to look back on it.
Tsume: I DON'T KNOW!!!
`Thank you moon.'
Toboe: Why Tsume? Why? Why?
He looked at me and then turned back into his human form; in his eyes was a well of pain that I never wanted to see but would except. Tsume broken down and I was there to comfort him.
I unsheathed my fangs from his copper neck and held him as he started to sob. His body was racked with sob after sob after sob; and I was there to be with him. This is what I wanted; the real Tsume, the Tsume that Tsume had hidden from the world. The Tsume that was scared to trust anyone, the Tsume that was scarred by his past and the Tsume I loved so much. This was the Tsume that protected me from harm, the Tsume that needed to be love, the Tsume that could love me and be loved in return and best of all my Tsume.
Toboe: Shhh, its okay Tsume. I…I'll be the reason you stay if you want me to be.
I looked into his golden tear stricken eyes and licked away the last of his tears. I held him close to be and we just stayed like that for the night; him in my arms and me watching over him. I would define him if he wished; Tsume the alpha of my heart, soul and body, Tsume the protector, Tsume the claw that strikes against those that would do us harm and Tsume my one true love. Maybe not now but someday.
Someday soon.