X/1999 Fan Fiction ❯ Zero One One Zero One ❯ Chapter 1

Title: Zero One One Zero One

Rating: pg-13

X/1999 is property of CLAMP and I'm just borrowing so there.

Pairing: Satsuki/Kanoe

Author's note: I look to the audience to let me know how I did for my first official X/1999 fan fic. I rarely endeavor in first person narratives so I'm very nervous about how this reads. So read and enjoy one of the very few if only X shoujo-ai stories out there.

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Zero.

One.

Anyway you look at it.

0.

1.

These numbers never lie. These numbers are never false. They create worlds humans can not even imagine. They form a language humans can not even read. Zero. And One. One. And Zero. The deep glow of green digital numbers passes over my view, into my mind, through my skin. The same two numbers over and over in pulsing patterns delighting my day, I am happy in that world. That world is never boring. And yet… lately….

It is.

And it has everything to do with what happened weeks ago. And that is where I will have to begin.

000011011011100001101010101000011111100010100101010010100011111 010000011100011010001010010101010101010100100000100101000101010010100101010 010100101010010101010101000110101011101010100011101010101001010101000101010 101010101010100010101010011011010001010010001100101010101010011110100011010 101010100001011111010101010101010101010101010101010111100110000110101000110 0110010000011010101010101100011100110011010101001110001110001010100

It was as clear as anything could be. I understood what it said without a need to even translate it. But for those that are simple, those that are far from perfection…I shall reveal the meaning. It says: Kamui is in Tokyo.

Without even blinking, The Beast, my beloved… More than just a computer but an organism created of zero and one… As real and alive as anything can be. But the Beast is perfect. The Beast knows only what is true. And truth is simple in the digital, the networks, and the electric and static. Truth is, as I have said before, 0 and 1. The Beast released me so that I might inform Kanoe and Yuto of the situation. Beast does not like it when I am away. And I… I am not comfortable away from the Beast.

As I jumped down to the cool concrete floor Yuto was waiting. He catches me sometimes; his warm hands wrapping around my waist making me feel things I am uncertain of. I would ask Beast for an answer but I know better and I know that there is possibly no answer that would suit me. Whatever the case he was there, smiling, blond hair a bit mussed, and as polite as ever he set me on the ground. She was there too.

Kanoe.

She was a surprising first. Always a surprise and even though I never asked her about her business, though I do not converse with her much, among the animals called human she is only one of two that has been able to take me by surprise, make me think. Kanoe is never boring. There was an expression on her face that was hard to place. Clearly it was a smile, lush red lips stretched across her face, brown eyes fixed and focused. This expression is common for Kanoe, and perhaps I am naïve but there is something almost wolfish about the way she watches me sometimes. Something similar to the feel of Yuto's arms around my waist washed through me causing confusion to take hold. Shaking it aside I put my glasses on and prepared to speak.

"What does the Beast say?" Kanoe's voice reminded me of a song. I even began to put the equation together that would explain how her voice was able to create the sound.

Remembering myself I replied, "Kamui is in Tokyo." My voice was soft, and though I'm sure no one could tell… it was also slightly hoarse. There is no need for words, or voice in the realms of networks I travel in. My voice goes unused for days at a time. Speaking is primitive anyway, but humans can not seem to let go of it.

"Very good," Kanoe again. She moved a bit closer to me, resting a hand on my shoulder. The other she used to gently move my gaze to meet her near predatory eyes. She does this often. I tend to look at the floor or avert my eyes elsewhere when I speak to her. Looking right at her tends to increase my heart rate. Causes that feeling I am constantly unsure of. "If you find anything else come and tell me… anytime."

Kanoe likes to tease me.

I watched her as she walked off. Lost in a familiar pull and as I watched I realized that there was a kind voice trying to get my attention. I turned to face Yuto who smiled.

"Want some tea?" His voice is always gentle, brotherly, "Or maybe something to eat?"

"No thank you," I answered swiftly. "I'm not hungry right now."

"Of course…well I'll let you get back then."

010000111110010101010101010101010101000000101010111110011101010 101010101101011101010101010101010101010111010101010101010101010101010101000 0100000000010111111101110010101011

The reminder banners popped up in precise sequential bursts. I ignored all of them. I wasn't in the mood for anything but systems, information. I was so close to discovering something important about Kamui. But Beast disconnected me. A sigh escaped my lips. As much as Beast wanted me near as much as the other systems and networks, computers wanted me they know all too well I am human. I am not perfect. I need rest and food. A lingering wire remained for a moment as I whispered my disappointment.

"If I were to die they could have me forever."

And I briefly wondered if making such a statement was a mistake.

Beast does not disconnect me unless it is vital. It checks on my signs of life at all times. Once I stayed connected for two weeks before Beast released me forcing me to confront my imperfections.

The last remaining wire departed from my skin and I jumped into the light fluorescent glow of the room that holds Beast. The growl in my stomach was not to be ignored, so I staggered a path into the small kitchen. Prepared what I needed and ate.

There was no doubting that it made me feel better, but it also made me sleepy and I… I do not like to sleep. Sleep leads to dreams that are mere memories of the past, times of my captivity washing through my mind. The less I sleep though… The more I stay away from it… the easier it is to dream of things that are better. And those dreams are all in code. Ones and zeroes, creating things only those numbers can, perfection, and a place that makes me happy.

With ease I made my way to the room Kanoe put together for me. She knew I would have little use for it, but it was there for the off moment when I did. My eyes were heavy and as I fell into the bed my mind drifted over to the thought of Kanoe and the things she could do. She could walk through dreams, see what people wished. As my eyes shut I wondered if she ever entered my dreams, and if somewhere in the code she saw my wish.

I woke sometime late the next evening. A tired grin inching at the very corner of my mouth as I noticed clothes set out for me, neat and pressed.

"Yuto," his name escaped my lips almost a question. Again he surprises me, and again I am left to ponder the slight swell in my chest from the very mention of his name.

After dressing I made my way back to Beast and I passed Kanoe's room.

I knew what was going on without having to look, but the door was ajar. Open just enough for me to see Kanoe and Yuto. And the jealousy that was clearly felt at the sight was, as always, decidedly misdirected, because I am never really sure… Am I jealous because she gets to have him, or is it because he gets to have her? I pondered it just long enough for a second question to spring into my head, one that caused a bit of fear and excitement. Would either really mind if I walked in and joined them?

I reached out and shut the door to Kanoe's room and continued back to Beast, and I swore I heard Kanoe chuckle.

"Why does she tease me?"

010101010000000000110110111111111010101000000001010101000000000 000000101010101010111111110101010101010000011100001110001010100010101010100 101000111101010001011010100010100000100101111111101000000000101111111111101 010010100000000001001010100001001010111110000010010101010000000000101011111 11111101010111111110101010101010101010101010101010101010

"Gemini?" The word escaped my throat as Beast continued its analysis. I wondered what it meant since Beast couldn't find an answer. I released myself from Beast's grip, the visor slipped away, leaving my eyes to adjust to the light.

She was there. Waiting for me as if she had known I found something. I looked around and noticed Yuto was not with her. A strange thing since he always seems to be with her. I surmised that perhaps he was still at work.

I jumped down, a quick and near flawless motion. Utterly shocked as I realized she was going to catch me, guide my feet to the ground. She is not nearly as strong as he is, but the feel of her arms around my waist made my temperature rise. I was certain there was a flush across my cheeks, if there was she said nothing. She just smiled, and it grew broader as I pulled back from her.

"What's the news," Kanoe asked softly and standing just a bit closer than usual.

"No news," I replied fixing my gaze to the ground. I looked up to meet her almost hungry eyes when I realized how noticeable my avoidance of her was. "Something to do with Kamui, a word repeated about him many times."

"And what is that word?"

"Gemini," I said flatly.

"Good…" And she paused there for a moment or two, looking me over and leaving me to wonder what passed through her mind. Her wolfish grin returned to her face and she asked, before I could retreat back to the Beast, "Would you care for some tea? Or a light dinner?"

"I-"

"Yuto has to stay late," she continued, "some bizarre civil servant meeting."

I do not know why I question the things I feel. Maybe it is because I truly do not wish to feel anything. It would be better to be completely void of feelings I think. There would be no worries then. Everything could be simple and defined…like zero and 1. One and 0.

She was very patient as she waited for my reply. She always has been and before I could say yes or no she chuckled.

"But I suppose dinner or tea with just me would be…boring."

It was the single word that made me follow her to her room. The single thought that I would consider her boring. She was never boring. As I walked behind her I could feel Beast's scanners watching me leave. It burned a bit, the way a harsh stare would. And I began to think for a moment that maybe…but no that was ridiculous.

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 00000000000000000000000 111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111 11111111111

The tea service was set up neatly. A few sandwiches lay precisely on a platter, sweets angled just so on a dish next to them. I took the seat I always took, and Kanoe did the same. We ate and sipped the tea in perfect silence. And after all that could be was consumed I rose from my seat to leave. I was stopped as her hands rested on my shoulders. She's taller than I am, and she carries herself in such a way that it feels like she towers above me.

"K-Kanoe?"

"Where are you running to? Don't you want to keep me company for a bit?" The words were whispered into my ear, close and sweet like a summer breeze.

That uncomfortable and unsure sensation began to build. I turned to face her, tried to look her in the eye, but couldn't. Her left hand slipped from its light hold of my shoulder, her arm slyly inching around my waist. I understood her intent, but not her reason. She had Yuto.

"Why do you tease me?" I couldn't even believe the words left my mouth.

The grin on her face grew. "Do I tease you… Satsuki?"

A naïve question from lips that were not innocent and I don't imagine they ever could be.

I did not have time to even answer as she pulled me closer. Out of reflex alone I uttered what I thought was defense, "But Yuto?"

"What about Yuto?"

"Y-you and he-"

"Been watching have you?"

"I-"

"He likes you too you know?"

"I-"

"But maybe you don't like him like that," she let me go then and why I just didn't run is beyond my comprehension. "Your dreams," she began again, inching toward me, capturing me again in something that was unexpected. "Your dreams are strange Satsuki. I'm not sure I even got it right. But… let's see if I come close."

And all at once I found myself backed up against the door of Kanoe's room. Her weight pushed into me and her lips lightly brushing against mine before taking them completely.

It was strange, because as it began I started to write code. I formed equations that explained the physics of the situation. She must have known, because I felt her press a bit closer. I gasped and let her take over. My arms wrapping around her neck, fingers tangled in her hair. I'm sure I was lost, because I can barely remember the rest. Exciting and exhilarating, never boring… how could being with her ever be boring?

000000001010101010101010101001011111111111010101000000001011000 000000101011111111010101010101010100000111111111101101001001111010101010010 1001010001011101111110101010010101

Later, just before Yuto returned from work, I woke.

Had I dreamt it all?

No.

No. It wasn't a dream, because there she was next to me, pink satin sheets pulled up around her. My heart raced and I scurried for my things. Hurried to escape, this was too confusing. There was no perfect answer for it. As I moved about I heard her stir. Too dark to properly see I knew she was sitting up watching me. I knew that grin was planted on her face, her eyes devouring me all over again, because once is never enough for her.

"Satsuki?" Her voice likes to play up my spine and I froze in my tracks inches from the door.

I look over at where I know she is, puzzled.

"Did I read the code correctly? Was that close enough to your expectations?"

"I-I…" For the first time I can recall I wished I could truly express my emotions. I wished… I could tell her I was confused and excited, happy, and something else I'm not sure was true, but I couldn't. I couldn't find an answer that was perfect so I just said, "It wasn't boring."

"Good… very good."

And that is all that occurred.

I'm traveling through networks right now. I have a purpose, a someone to find. Or perhaps it is a something. The name flashes throughout the code: Nataku. Perhaps it is an Angel of the Earth. I probe further. And as I do I want to believe there is significance to what happened that night. What it means to someone such as I to feel those things in another's arms, things that can not be written in 0 or 1, one or zero. What does it mean? What does it mean and why are these numbers, this endless code… why isn't this puzzle holding my interest like it used to? And the memory of Kanoe's lips on mine races through my head suddenly. Ow!

Beast?

That hurts…

And that is a strange bit of code I can barely make it out. It couldn't mean what I think it does? Could it?

01010101010111111111010110101010101010101010101SATSUKIISMINE010 101010100110101011010101010101010101010SATSUKIISMINE01011010101010101010101 01010ISMINE0101011010101010101010101010101010101ISMINE010101010110101010101 01010101010101011SATSUKIISMINE1010101

End….