Yami No Matsuei Fan Fiction ❯ Anti Nostalgic ❯ Part 1, Chapter 7 (Hisoka) ( Chapter 7 )

Title: Anti-Nostalgic (Hisoka, Chapter 7)

Author: Elf Asato

Pairings: Tsuzuki/Hisoka, Watari/Hisoka

Warnings: Angst residue, weird dreams, OOC

Disclaimer: Yami no Matsuei belongs to the great Matsushita-sensei and if I butcher her name, it's out of love. Anti-Nostalgic is a song from Gravitation so that doesn't belong to me, either.

Notes: See, I knew exactly how I wanted to write this! I just needed to find the time ^^;; But still, it's pretty fast compared to other chapters, so no complaining! For the first part of this chapter, the italics are Hisoka's dream ^_^

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Anti-Nostalgic

By Elf Asato

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Burning.

Oh god, I'm burning.

It hurts so much - I can feel the flames eating away at my skin and heart, but I'm too afraid to open my eyes and see.

"Bastard!" voices scream. I hear and feel…they're my parents?! "Monster!" I cry out for them to go away… I'm so scared right now and I hurt so much.

…Are they burning me? Is that it? Burning me like some kind of witch? I haven't done anything wrong! I don't deserve this!

…But…I hurt Tsuzuki…

Is that why they're doing this? Why are they doing this? Please leave me alone!

I have to open my eyes lazily as the fire is still consuming my body and I see dozens of angry people, watching me burn at a stake… They're angry at me…but they're happy to see me die?!

The church bell rings… maybe they'll go off to their church and strive to be good little Christians while I sit here and burn - me, who they watched suffer with joy. This is so sick.

But…they don't leave. They continue to watch in rapture, jeering at me, telling me to die a slow and painful death. I look past them and see a funeral with only one person in attendance - and the church bell rings again. The good little Christians don't seem to care or mourn for the death of that limp figure, covered in a black cloak, being hauled into his grave. They only want their entertainment - me.

I feel sorry for him - there's no one at his funeral except the one putting him in the grave… The silhouette of the dead man looks so forlorn, so sad as the sole one at his funeral, also cloaked in black, carries him. The one carrying him jostles him a bit, trying to get a better grip - I'm so fascinated, but saddened by this, that my physical pain is dwarfed by the one in my heart - and finally get to see the dead man's face.

It feels like my heart has burst - god, I'm dying all over again!

The dead man.

Tsuzuki.

TSUZUKI.

"TSUZUKI!!!!!!" I scream out, now unaware of any physical pain, but my heart is being ripped apart.

Time stops and the angry people, who wanted to see me suffer so much, truly get to see me suffer now. They turn their heads to the funeral procession, watching intently with a morbid fascination. The one carrying my beloved stops just short of the grave and looks my way - Watari - with an attentive, yet emotionless expression.

"Ts-Tsuzuki!" I cry out again, tears running down my face and hissing in the fire.

The dead man - my dead man - tilts his head towards me and gives me a loving smile, but his eyes contradict it to extremes…and without a trace of gentleness or concern, Watari dumps him into the grave.

"TSUZUKI!" I scream at the top of my lungs. "Watari! He's not dead! Help him, please! …WATARI!"

Watari ignores me, though, grabs a shovel, and starts burying the hole in the earth.

"WATARI!" I scream frantically, no longer aware of anything besides the two of them. "Please help him! …Ts-Tsuzuki! …TSUZUKI!"

"Tsuzuki!" I cried out in a choked voice, awaking from the nightmare abruptly in a cold sweat. I sat up and it took me a minute to register exactly where I was - in the hotel room in my bed… When my gaze immediately fell upon Tsuzuki in his bed, I breathed a sigh of relief and crept over to his side, making sure he was really there. He was sleeping soundly…and absolutely reeked of alcohol. For some reason, though, I felt absolute terrified to go back to sleep…for fear of having that dream or one like it again…

I…I shouldn't…

But I did. I found myself sneaking quietly into bed with him, careful not to wake him up, and hugging his chest desperately. The scent of alcohol was awful…but it was a part of Tsuzuki and for that reason, I needed it. Anything. Anything of him.

He's like a drug - I need him so much…

When I woke up that morning, clutching Tsuzuki's chest, I felt so dizzy and exhausted from the night before…but being with Tsuzuki was so comforting. I couldn't help it when I sighed and buried my face in his chest, taking in his scent, even if it did reek of alcohol.

"You're awake. Finally. …What the hell do you think you're doing, anyway?"

It registered in my mind that it was Tsuzuki's voice and Tsuzuki was awake. I blushed a dozen shades of red and tilted my head to look up at him sheepishly. Unlike past mornings, he didn't greet me with a loving, sleepy face. "I…had a nightmare."

His expression tells me that he believes me, but doesn't want to care.

"…Get out of my bed," he muttered sharply.

"Sorry," I mumbled sadly as I let go of him and slide out of his bed, going to sit on mine. I buried my head in my hands, trying to shake out the memory of my nightmare.

Tsuzuki's voice took on a softer tone, "…That bad?"

He's referring to my nightmare, I noticed. Sighing, I explained, "…Yeah. I dreamed that dozens and dozens of angry people were burning me at a stake like some kind of witch… My parents were there and they, along with everyone else, were happy to see me suffer, but there was a funeral nearby that nobody attended except the guy carrying the dead man… I realized that the dead man…was you…and…Watari was the one carrying you. You weren't dead, but I guess only I could see that. I screamed and cried out that you weren't dead, but no one would listen and Watari threw you in the grave anyway and started to bury you. I…I kept screaming out your name…but no one would listen…" I hadn't realized it, but as I told him about my nightmare, tears streamed down my face.

I could tell by his expression that my dream unnerved and disturbed him, but all he said was, "…It was just a dream." I watched him as he rose from his bed and made his way to the bathroom. I guess…when he had woken up before me, he put his impenetrable shields up again because I couldn't feel a thing from him. As I heard the shower start to run, I wondered what was really going through his mind…

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~End of Part 1, Chapter 7~

Actually, there's a reason why Hisoka dreamt that stuff and how he felt during it…which you will find out during Watari's part ^^;; A little ways to go…ooh, I feel really bad now for making you wait T.T Just keep this scene in mind? Actually, it's okay if you forget because it's not exactly vital to the story or anything…er, at least Hisoka's dream… ^^;; I think I should stop typing this now…

Anyway, sorry if it's a little short! (And creepy, too…O.o…what's with all my stuff being creepy lately? *goes off to write something not-creepy*)

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