Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monster GX Fan Fiction ❯ No Pairing Left Unmocked! ❯ JadenxSyrus ( Chapter 1 )
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
Disclaimer: I don’t own GX, and any resemblance to actual stories is (sort of) coincidential.
Syrus was very, very depressed. He felt the worst he had ever felt in his life. Words could not express the sheer depth of his depression.
What could possibly be the cause of this depression? It had to be something profound. What else could make Syrus be huddling under the shower, sobbing, with his clothes still on?
Yes, people, it was the worst thing that could ever possibly happen. You see, the tragic incident had occurred at lunchtime. Syrus had been so innocent and unsuspecting. But then IT HAD HAPPENED!
Jaden had taken the last serving of liver and onions right in front of Syrus’s eyes! Jaden knew very well just how much Syrus liked liver and onions, so there was only one possible conclusion: Jaden hated him. Syrus just couldn’t face life at the Academy anymore now that Jaden had betrayed him so thoroughly.
It didn’t even occur to Syrus that maybe Jaden was just being a bit careless.
Syrus got out of the shower. He was so full of angst, he left the water running. He had reached a firm decision: he was running away. He would go far, far away, and never ever come back! Maybe he would even change his name and move to Paraguay. Wait a minute...where was Paraguay?
This thought made Syrus even angstier. Not even had his best friend betrayed him, but he was now horrible at geography!
Syrus was so filled with liver-and-Paraguay-induced sadness that he was getting a bit clumsy. As he was putting his Dark Magician Girl card into his running-away suitcase, his elbow hit the “on” button on his clock radio.
The radio just happened to be set to a station that was playing a generic angsty song. The lyrics interrupted the story because they were just that important.
Angst Angstity ANGST
Angst Emo More Angst
Angst Angst Blood
Emo Angst WHYYY?
Syrus grew even sadder listening to these generic lyrics. The song was starting to give him an idea. Why should he just run off to Paraguay, when he could end his life for good?
With that thought, Syrus dramatically opened a drawer on his night table, and took out a butcher knife. Syrus wasn’t quite sure just what a butcher knife was doing in his room, but he decided to just go along with it.
Syrus then spent a good fifteen minutes just staring blankly at the knife. If he just ended his life now, it would kill all the suspense and dramatic tension. Also, if he did this too soon, Jaden wouldn’t be able to burst into the room just in time and save Syrus.
Syrus snorted. What were the chances of that happening? He decided that there was no more use in prolonging his fate.
He slowly positioned the knife blade against his wrists, because his other body parts weren’t nearly emo enough to work.
Just then, Jaden burst into the room just in time and saved Syrus.
It’s funny how these things work.
“Why are you doing this, Syrus?” Jaden bellowed melodramtically.
Syrus replied, “You BETRAYED me, Jaden! You stole my liver and onions! There’s no reason for me to be on this earth anymore.”
Jaden looked confused. He said, “Why didn’t you just ask me if you could have it?”
“Jaden, I have a reputation to hold up! Just asking wouldn’t be emo enough.”
“Um...okay then. I’m sorry, I guess.”
Syrus’s angstiness suddenly evaporated. Now, all his problems were solved for the rest of his life, and there was no way he had any underlying depression that could have triggered all this in the first place. Nothing could go wrong now that Jaden had apologized!
The radio was still spouting out loud, generic angsty song lyrics (the radio station was having an emo marathon that afternoon). Jaden noticed this and unplugged the radio. He then threw it out the window, where it hit Bastion on the head.
“Ouch!” said Bastion in his usual fake accent.
Syrus and Jaden wondered who had said that, but shrugged it off. Jaden then declared his undying love for Syrus, which he had just become aware of in the past three minutes. Then, Jaden and Syrus proceeded to make out for the next eleven days. Even though neither of them had kissed anybody before, everything went perfectly and no one made any mistakes.
And so, things all ended happily for everyone. Except for Bastion, of course.
A/N: Now how is that for a bunch of cliches? Don’t worry, there’s plenty more popular pairings left to mock! I’m already getting ideas for JadenxAlexis, JadenxChazz, and ZanexSyrus, among others.
Please don’t flame me if you are a fan of any of these pairings. Chances are, I’ll also get to lampooning pairings you don’t like.