Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Devotion ❯ Determination ( Chapter 8 )

Disclaimer: Look, if I owned Yu-gi-oh Kaiba would have gotten to push Gozaburo out a window in the anime too. `Heart attack'? Sheesh.

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Okay, what just happened?

Not that I'm complaining.

I would have hated to go to my death knowing I'd failed Mokuba.

Yugi is weird.

Most of the time he's just a little kid. Pathetic. Has no idea what the world's really like.

Friendship. The heart of the cards?

Nonsense.

I bet he still believes in Santa Claus.

But when we dueled that time, that thing he wears around his neck glowed.

I know I saw it. But no one else seemed to.

It must have just been a trick of the light. That's all.

But…

Before…

I've seen tons of game faces. Yugi looked so determined, like he was going to try his best. Trying to psych himself up. Pathetic.

Afterwards…

He wasn't determined at all.

Determination is just a cover for fear. You focus on the fact that you are going to give it your all because you know your all isn't good enough.

Now, when I duel, I'm not determined to win.

I'm determined to keep myself from laughing at the pathetic chump stupid enough to challenge me.

When the light disappeared and I could see Yugi's face again, he was…

Casual.

Almost bored. Well, not bored. Sort of like he was bored and here I was, a distraction, but he was pretty sure I was going to be a waste of his time.

That's why I was shocked. Not the light, but by the change.

How did that little punk get that much confidence?

Trying to psych him out was like fencing with the sea. My best smirk went right through him, just made him look like he was having to bite his tongue to keep from laughing.

Look, I know a game face when I see one. That wasn't one. He wasn't trying to intimidate me. He didn't care enough to try to intimidate me.

It was really freaky. When I pulled out my Blue-Eyes, when I had him on the ropes, he'd sort of…change back.

He'd get the kind of cornered mouse look that I'd expect of someone with his determined face. But it would only be for a second.

Then he'd sort of sigh, and zone out. Then after a bit, he'd smile to himself, and pay at least some attention to me again.

Oh, you're still here? That's what his look would say. Like he was amused I wasn't smart enough to figure out I was doomed.

That's my look!

Only he was a lot more subtle about it. No gloating, just like victory wasn't an achievement for him but an `of course'.

God, it was scary.

I can't believe I just thought that.

Multiple personality syndrome.

That's got to be it.

Maybe I should be scared. If he's nuts…

They non-wimpy one was perfectly willing to let me jump. Fortunately, the wimp took over.

Rescued by a wimp. Oh god, I'm never going to live this down.

Who does that Tea girl think she is?

Cheerleader.

Probably never had to work for anything in her life.

Does she know what it's like to work for what you need? To suffer for your goal?

Gozaburo…

I want to see you again.

So I can kill you again.

Yugi cares? I care!

Mokuba is my only family! Yugi probably has loving parents. Probably has never suffered a day in his life.

He should thank me for getting him used to it now.

I can't fail Mokuba. I've already disappointed him so much…

I'm not the brother he needs anymore. I'm not capable of showing him the affection he needs, so I tried to run away from him, into games, tried to tell myself I didn't care…

I convinced myself. I'm such a baka.

Thank god Yugi rescued him from that penalty game at Death-T. How could I have done that?

God, I owe the wimp my life twice over. No, more. Mokuba's more important than my life. That's why I would have done it.

Jumped. I have no reason to live without him.

After that, I ran away again. Ran away and left Mokuba at Pegasus's mercy. God, I'm a failure.

But I can't think about that. I need to beat Pegasus. I need to be strong for Mokuba. I'm determined to rescue him.

Oh god. Determined. I'm doomed. For some reason, I think I'm going to lose. I lost to Yugi. Twice, really. I'm not invincible any more. I never was.

What Pegasus did…he didn't touch Mokuba. And his picture appearing on that card…

Was that real?

That weird golden thing in his face…it has the same symbol on it as Yugi's pyramid thing does.

He said something about a spirit. Is that what those things are? Magic.

I hope it's magic. Because if magic is the only thing that let Yugi beat me, maybe I have a chance. If I can cancel out whatever Pegasus can do…then I might stand a chance.

Look at me. Believing in magic.

I'll believe in whatever I have to, to rescue Mokuba. Once I've got him back, this'll all be a bad dream.

I will get him back.

No matter what.

Failure is not an option.

I'll keep telling myself that.

But…magic.

Why'd Pegasus want me to duel Yugi? He wouldn't have done that without a reason.

Unless the sadistic bastard wanted to see us suffer.

Yugi has one of those things too. Maybe Yugi has magic too? Maybe Yugi's the only one who stands a chance against him?

Yugi would have helped Mokuba. He's soft that way.

Even after everything Mokuba did to him, trying to please me.

I'm sorry.

Maybe I've doomed my brother.

Oh god.

Was that your plan Pegasus? To have me defeat your only challenge?

Look at him. He's a wreck.

The wimp's nothing, it's the other one…the spirit…who is strong. If Yugi won't let him take over he's doomed.

No.

This is stupid. Magic, me losing to an overdressed chump like Pegasus…

…but what about that time he dueled Bandit Keith…

…I'll be clapping for Tinkerbell if this keeps up.

I will win.

Strong cards, champion's strategies…

"I have all that I need!"

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Is Kaiba too OOC? Again, trying to compromise between the dub, original anime, and manga here. I mean, I prefer the original, but I want this to make sense to those poor deprived souls who have only seen the dub.

In the original, Kaiba isn't Mr. Determined Skeptic about everything. He tells Yugi, `You know, Malik's probably brainwashed your friends by now. That's what I'd do.' And he tells Yugi to tell the other Yugi that he (Kaiba) `saw his answer' after the Yugi vs. Brainwashed Joey duel. Buy the subbed version! E-bay or animeniacs.com is good. In the doom arc, he summons monsters to fight ones that aren't using his system after Yami tells him to just do it. He's like, this is nonsense but it works so I'll just go along with it. Like I said, he's rather pragmatic. Whatever works.

Dorie Kaiba: Yay! I want to see you there! (So you can give me back my manga;)

Amber Eyes: Thanks for the ranking. What made you like those ones? I love it when people tell me what I'm doing right. Or wrong. (Yes, this is a shameless plea for reviews;) And doing that episode is a great idea! I will.