Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Got Malik??? ❯ I can't think of a title...sorry ( Chapter 2 )

Disclaimer: See chapter 1

BA: I AM FREE!!!! ^___^ *sings* It's Aloha Friday, no school 'till Monday!!! ^o^

Malik: Hey, so your back.

BA: Yep, with a major head ache, courtesy of the school.

Bakura: Then go sleep. Malik and I…we'll…do this chapter for you.

BA: *eyes them suspiciously*

Malik and Bakura: ()=) *little halos appear above their heads*

BA: Not a chance -_-

Malik: Aww….you don't trust us?

Bakura: I'm hurt!

BA: Whatever. Thanks for the lovely reviews!!! I update as often as I can, don't I? And, now, it's my free time so I'll work on this! See how much I love you guys??? ^__^

Malik: Riiiight…gifts?

BA: *sarcastically* You guys are just soooo considerate, aren't you?

Bakura: Yeah. Now where are the gifts?

BA: Fine. *sniffle* you guys are so mean. Thank you for all your wonderful reviews, btw! ^___^ It makes me happy!!!

Malik: *whispers to Bakura* Is she bipolar or something?

Bakura: *whispers back* Tell me and we'll both know.

BA: Questions!!! A-ahem…To Malik, Mistress of Marik's one and only interest…wow, nice title…wonder if you could put that on a calling card?

Malik: What's the question?

BA: She asks why are you so sexy?

Malik: 'Coz I am baby! ^___^ It's a gift!!!

Bakura: Hey! I'm sexy too!!!

BA: Yeah, you are, but according to Mistress of Marik, you're not as sexy as Malik is.

Malik: Damn straight!!

Bakura: -_- shut up.

BA: Her next question is for Malik again. Why are you beyond sexy?

Malik: *starts rappin'* 'coz I am, whatever you say I am!!! *stops rapping* and in this case, I'm sexy and don't I know it? ^________^

BA: Why does she love you so much?

Malik: *to Mistress of Marik?* The question is…how could you not? I mean I'm hot, I'm-

BA: She also asks if you knew that your Yami is just as sexy and seductive as you are…

Malik: Of course he is! I mean, he is me after all, a part of me! I see no reason why he shouldn't be hot just as I am.

BA: Wow…you are really into your self, aren't you?

Malik: *snaps fingers impatiently* Hello! Next question! My adoring fans are waiting!!!

BA: Yep, he is. Ok, why do you like killing people, but don't like meat?

Malik: Wanna know why? Who knows what they put in those meats? Who knows what chemical the put to preserve it!!! And the animals that it came from are most likely flea-infested and I love myself, thank you very much and I don't want to get infected by their yucky germs!!!

Bakura: Well, I eat it raw and bloody and I'm ok!

Malik: Well, that's you and you're used to low-class foods, unlike me.

Bakura: Wuss.

Malik: >.<

BA: riiiiiiight…now that you've answered her questions, she can go back to cackling evilly and talking to her home-made Millennium Rod, ok?

Malik: O.o

BA: Ok, a question from DarkChao1663…

Bakura: DarkChao?

BA: Yeah, but I guess it's DarkChaos1663, anyway, the question is how to tell someone that they're stupid.

Malik: Like this, JOEY!!!

Joey: *walks in eating donuts* Yeah?

Malik: *walks up to him* Joey, you're stupid.

Joey: ^_____^ Thanks!!! I get that all the time!!!

Malik: Wha--?

Joey: Bye!

BA and Bakura: ….O.O

Malik: Ok, now that isn't exactly how it was supposed to be, but you just tell 'em that. Hopefully, they won't be as stupid as he is.

BA: *nods* here are the gifts from DarkChaos1663, Malik, you get lots of explosives that will do twice the damage when done to Anzu!!!

Anzu: Did someone call my name??? *bats eyelashes*

BA: *fake smile* Anzu!!! Just the person we wanted to see!

Malik and Bakura: She is? ?_? But she is!

BA: Yeah, well... Malik, do what you're supposed to do!

Malik: *catches on* Oh…right…*evil grin* Anzu, will you come here?

Anzu: Sure, Malikie!!

Malik: *twitch* could you hold these? *hands her all the explosives*

Anzu: Sure!!!

Malik: Now head on outside, ok?

Anzu: Sure Malikie-poo!

Malik: *twitch, twitch*

**~~*~~** Outside **~~*~~**

Anzu: *explodes* AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!

**~~*~~** Back inside *~~*~~**

Malik: Ha….I feel better now!

BA: Uh-huh, Malikie-poo!!!

Bakura: *snicker*

Malik: Shut up!

BA: KJ!!! (if you don't know what it means, it's kill joy) Anyway, here's a question from Jessica: In Battle City, why do you always say the same thing over and over again? Yeah, Malik, I noticed that too.

Malik: BLAME THE AMERICAN DUBS!!! THEY RUINED ME!!! IT'S NOT MY FAULT!!! BLAME THEM!!!

BA: Ok, Malik, calm down, now. Oh… and Ryou!!!!

Ryou: *comes in* Yes?

BA: Jessica loves you!!!

Ryou: Err…that's nice…

BA: And she wants to go on a date with you too.

Ryou: Sure, I guess.

BA: Cool then! Bye!

Ryou: ^____^

Bakura: Was it just me or was she eager to get rid of him?

Malik: I dunno…last time I checked he was on her fave bishies too…

BA: Next question! It's for…Marik! MARIK!!!

Marik: What do you want?

BA: A question from Unknown, will you ever send yourself to the Shadow Realm?

Marik: I was just there, baka. I make reservations whenever I go because it's getting overpopulated with souls and guess what? I'm a favored customer!!! ^_^ Try checking in to the SSH when you drop by, DMG's the receptionist!

BA: I do frequent that place! It's really cool! And the room service, aw Ra! It's so…elegant!

Bakura: Yeah, it is!

Malik: Are there any more? I gotta go there afterwards.

BA: Yeah. So, ok, here's a message from American Sumira, and I quote: "o hi Bakura & Malik I'm a fangirl of both you to ^__^ but not one of those insane one's that glomp you!"- Malik: That's good… Bakura: There's an assurance that we won't be glomped to death… BA: Bakura, you get a the Millennium Key and Scale from her that her Yami stole from Shaadi. Bakura: Bet it wasn't easy…Shaadi's one freaky dude. BA: Yep. Shaadi's voice: NOOOOOOOOO!!! MY ITEMS!!!!!! Bakura: I'll go put these away. BA: You do that. Malik-Hey! My headache's gone! I just noticed! ^__^ Malik: Good for you. Now what's the question? BA: Ok, from Jenna Casey, she asks why you keep calling Yami 'Pharaoh'. Malik: What do you think??? To mock him, duh! Though, when my sister says that, it's a different matter entirely. BA: She wants to know why you use your Rod for everything. Malik: Hmm…which Rod? The golden one or the o- BA: >.< Silence!!! Malik: Just wanting her to be more specific, sheesh! BA: Just answer this question, Why did you even control Jounouchi and Anzu? She thinks…no wait, knows that they're not cool enough to be mind slaves. Malik: Duh! That's the point. By making them my mind slaves, it's a further proof that they are inferior to me!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *mutters* and besides, who would I have sent to bring me that Herbal Essences Mousse in the women's section? BA: What was that? Malik: Nothing! ^^;;; BA: Okaaaay…BAKURA!!! Get down here!!! Bakura: *from upstairs* What? BA: YOU GOT GIFTS!!! Bakura: *suddenly downstairs* Where? BA: ^^'' Uhh…SSCeles gives you an ice cream bar that lets you get/do anything you want once. It doesn't melt till it's eaten, but she advices that you use it wisely. Bakura: SWEET!!! *takes it and runs away* BA: Ok, Malik, she wants to know what kind of music you listen to. Malik: Do you have time? Linkin Park, Good Charlotte… **~~*~~** Five Minutes Later **~~*~~** Malik: …and AFI. BA: That was…long… Malik: ^_^ BA: I hope that answers your questions, Celes! Ok…next question is from Lachlan-Kersyva. She asks if you, her precious Pharaoh, could…what the hell? Cut her back with an exacto knife? WTF? Malik: Of course!!! ^___^ When should I do that? BA: Ok, now that is just disturbing…who the hell would want their backs cut?! Malik: One of my many loving fans does, apparently. BA: Smartass!!! Here's a gift from Abdominal Boo: You get a turquoise motorcycle. Malik: Why not a red one? BA: Because- Boo: *comes in* TURQUOISE IS NOT GREEN!!! *starts to mutter about people in her choir* BA: Uhh…ok… Boo: Oh, hi! ^_^ Where's Marik? Marik: *comes in* Over here, why? Boo: Marik! Let's go! Marik: *totally clueless* Go? Go where? Boo: On our date! Bye everyone! *goes out with Marik* Malik: Uhhh….that was…uhh… BA: Anyway, Bakura gets a mallet to…uh…hit people. Malik: No duh! BA: -__- Malik: Stop doing that face. You look like you have Down syndrome. BA: -______________________- Malik: ……… BA: QUESTION!!! Malik: *jumps* The hell…?! BA: Question from Steeple333! Where's Bakura? BAKURA!!!!! Bakura: *from wherever he is* WHAT??!!! BA: GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE!!! Bakura: *comes in, dragging in Ryou* What do you want? BA: *looks at Ryou* Ryou: OW, OW!!! STOP IT! BA: Let go of Ryou, 'Kura. You get a mallet from Boo and you have a question from Steeple333. Bakura: And that is….? BA: Does anyone ever say that you look like InuYasha? Bakura: A HELL LOT OF PEOPLE DO!!! No, I am not related to him in any way, shape or form. We just both have sharp fangs and whitish silver-ish hair. BA: Good enough. Malik, do you ever use the Millennium Rod for entertainment purposes? Malik: YEP!!! ^______^ BA: Name events. Malik: Remember that time when I went to school with you, BA? BA: *slowly* yeeeaaah… Malik: Well I controlled the jock that keeps annoying you to sexually harass this nerd and the nerd was like, screaming like a girl! ^__^ and when I let the jock's mind go, which was quite hard, since it took me a long time to find it and it's so small and it stuck to my hand, he started screaming around the field too! BA: WHAT?!!! Malik: Well, he transferred schools didn't he? BA: Good point. Next example. Malik: Ok! There was this old lady that I controlled to hit on this high school guy and then… **~~*~~** 10 Minutes Later **~~*~~** Malik: …So this chick threw up on the dude and- BA: @_@ That's nice Malik. You just gave more info than I ever wanted to know. Malik: Oh..hehe ^^ BA: Here are some more questions and gifts from Kasia M. but…she'll ask you herself. Kasia: *enters* Hey, BA, what's up? BA: The sky! ^_^ Kasia: Lol. Anyway, Jem wants to know if she could get a date with Marik. BA: I told you already, she can! Jem knows his cel, right? Just tell her to call him to meet somewhere. Kasia: Ok. Cool! So…where's Ryou? BA: *snaps fingers* right here. Ryou: *suddenly appears* wha--? Kasia: Hi Ryou! How can you still be so polite even if you're surrounded by psychos? Ryou: I took anger management and manners classes!!! ^_^ I must say, it really paid off!!! BA: Neva' woulda expected that… Kasia: Malik…umm…I forgot your question. I forgot the one for Bakura too! Damn memory!!! Moving on to the gifts…Ryou, you get earplugs. Ryou: O.o Earplugs? Kasia: Yep. So you don't have to hear the evil laughter. Ryou: Thank you! That is so…considerate of you! ^_^; Kasia: No prob! Marik gets Fluffy's Malik: Fluffy? Kasia: Sesshoumaru. He gets his Tensaiga so he can kill anyone he wants as many times as he wants! Give this to him when he gets back, ok? BA: Sure. Kasia: For Bakura…he gets the '101 ways to plot revenge on goody- goody two shoes' book. *hands it to Bakura* Bakura: *leafing through the book* Oooh…yess…genius indeed… Everyone else except Bakura: O.o o.O BA: Okaaaay…is there anything else? Kasia: Oh yeah! Here, you get a huge mallet to bop everyone on the head! ^____^ BA: Thanks!!! ^______^ Kasia: I gotta go now. Bye! *disappears* BA: Bye! Next question is from Miss Blond…Malik, do you think Marik would go out with her? Malik: Hmm…I don't know…she has to pass through my tests first…hmmm… BA: Could you at least ask Marik? Malik: Fine, whatever. BA: There's a message here from Kitiara: Malik, you're #1 on her bishie list and Bakura, you're on top of her glomper list. Bakura and Malik: *smugly* Of course we are. BA: Wait, there's more…WE GET LOTS OF CHOCOLATES!!! YESSS!!! A LARGE TRUCK FULL OF CHOCOLATES!!! Bakura and Malik: THANK YOU!!! ^_________^ BA: Oh, and thanks for the compliment!!! Here's another one from American Sumira…Malik, you get the power of the Pharaoh! And I get a date with any of you guys!!! ^__________^ Bakura: One…of…us? BA: Nope! Any!!! And you guys have to buy me expensive stuff and basically treat me like a princess the whooooole day long!!! THANKS SO MUCH Sumira!!! Soo…next one is from MarikzAngel. Malik, what is the Pharaoh's real name. if you don't know, you're hers. Malik: WHAT?! THAT'S NOT FAIR! Anyway, there are rumors that his real name is Bel Um Ful, and some the Nameless Pharaoh…so you can't have me just because I'm not sure! I don't know it but I don't not know it either! BA: Way to save yourself, dude. Malik: ^_^ BA: She has a gift from Bakura too! His very own personal duel system!!! *mutters* that she stole from Seto…Malik gets a punching bag, a dueling system, and a recipe book. Malik: A recipe book? BA: Yeah. She says you're gonna cook for you guys date. Malik: Date? BA: Why do you keep on echoing me? And yes, a date. She'll meet you tonight. Oh, and MarikzAngel? I hope that you're fully conscious by the time you read this! That was a pretty strong hit your Yami gave you. A voice: PAULINE!!!! BA: HI, MIYUKI!!! Miyuki: What's up? BA: Nothing much. Miyuki: Love this!!! It has bishies!!! BA: 'course you do, girl! Miyuki: Anyway, I want to give you, the author, my BEST FRIEND, tons and tons of posters of your favorite Yu-Gi-Oh characters, and the mystery box. You say what you want then open it, and its there!! BA: COOL!!! ^__^ Thankies! Miyuki: And I was thinking…do you think that I could have a date with Ryou? BA: Sure! Why not! Ryou! You get a date with her! Miyuki: Thanks! C'mon Ryou-kun!!! BA: Man…There are a lot of girls who want to date you guys… Malik: And just why are you so surprised? I mean, this is us you're talking about! BA: *looks into the poster* Oooh…*blushes* Malik: What? BA: *hides poster* Nothing! *thinking* Ooooh bad images…but they were sure nice! =^_^= Malik: Whatever. BA: Hey, Malik, you got questions to answer. Malik: Fire away. BA: From Dew-shan, she's asking if your egotistical like your yami. Sheesh, I thought it would have been obvious by now… Malik: Hmm…I guess I am…but in a 'hot' sense! ^_^ BA: To Bakura, Bakura, does it piss you off when people refer to you as Tomb Robber? Bakura: Hmm…not really…I'm a tomb robber and damn proud!!! BA: Hmmm…Oakland Athletic or San Francisco Giants??? We're talking baseball here, right? I dunno…I'll get back to you on that. What do you think? Oh, and she's got gifts for us too! Malik gets a gallon of kerosene, a crate of matches and a glomp! Malik: More fire!!! BA: What is it with him and pyromaniac tendencies? Malik: Wait, a glomp? A girl with white hair and dark green eyes: Yep!!! Malik!!! *glomps him really, really tight* Malik: *gasping for air* help…need…air… BA: Ok, you can let go now…he's going blue in the face… V_V Dew-shan: Oh...hehheh BA: For Bakura, she gives a bazooka, a gun licence and a…glomp! ^__^ Ds: ^_________^ *glomps Bakura even harder than she did Malik* Bakura: *turning purple* oxy…gen…air… Ds: *lets go* ^___^ Buh-bye!!! Good ficcy, btw. BA: Thanks! ^_^ For the next one, we have…Ryuujitsu! Bakura: Oh Ra!!! Not again!!! BA: Oh yes!!! >XD You have a dare this time, 'Kura! They dare you to kiss Ryou! Ryou: *walks in from his date* Huh? What about me? BA: C'mon, 'Kura…you can do it! Bakura: *gulp* Ryou: Uhh…What's going on here? Bakura: Ryou, close you're eyes. Ryou: What for? Bakura: CLOSE YOUR EYES, DAMMIT! Ryou: *closes eyes* Bakura: *kisses Ryou real quick on the cheek* *pulls away* Ryou: *opens eyes* O.o Bakura: Don't ask. Ryou: Ok, I won't. *leaves* Bakura: I swear Ryuujitsu is such a Yaoi enthusiast!!! >.< BA: What's wrong with that? Never mind, don't answer that. Oh, and Ryuujitsu, run!!! Run faster! Make sure Dilandau doesn't catch you! Ok! Now that's done with, the next questions are for Tengoku-chan and Yasha-sama! Bakura: Oh! You mean the one who asked if Malik sings in the shower!? That was hilarious! Malik: Shut up!!! BA: *smirks* Oh, I wouldn't be laughing if I were you, Bakura! Bakura: Why? BA: 'Coz now, the questions are for you! So, do you sing in the shower? Bakura: Uh…eh… Malik: We're all ears… Bakura: Ok, fine!!! But that was just once!!! Malik: Oh, really? I don't think so…since I have recorded you singing just a few days back and a few times before that! *plays tape*

Bakura's recorded voice: …Malik thinks he's the only one who can sing my heart will go on. I can sing better, right, Mr. Duckie? Mmhmm…I knew it! Thank you for your words of praise. A-ahem…*water dropping in the background* Yoooooouuuu're heeeeeeere, theeeeeeeeeeeere's noooooooooothing I feeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaar aaaaaaaand I knooow that the heart wiiiiiiiiiiill gooooo ooooooon………

Malik: *evil grin and stops tape* there's more…

Bakura's recorded voice: …I giiiiiiiiiive myyyyy aaaaaaaaaaaall tooo haaaave juuuuuuuust ooooone mooooore niiiight wiiiiith yoooouuuu…!

Malik: *stops it* >=P

BA: Bakura…I never knew you were…

Bakura: That's because I'm not!!!

BA: Suuuuure you aren't…How bad do you think Malik's dubbed voice is?

Bakura: Worse than Malik and me singing in the shower combined. Does that answer your question?

BA: I guess…although, I think that would be an understatement.

Malik and Bakura: >.<

BA: How many people have you killed?

Bakura: Hmm…I lost count back at 3,521,749…

BA: Good enough. Hugs or kisses?

Bakura: You're kidding me, right? Neither. Both requires physical contact.

BA: You're a grouch, ya know that?

Bakura: Well I do try! ^_^

BA: One more for Malik…WTF? Um…how long is your real rod?

Malik: I keep that strictly confidential; but here's a hint-

BA: Oooh! Oooh! I wanna give tjem a question for the hint!

Malik: Fine.

BA: Ok, here it is. There are three trombone players in the school band. The director needs 2 trombone players and 1 saxophone player for a special performance. How many different choices does he have? If you answer this, then it's the number of inches his thingy is!

Malik: -_- that was your homework.

BA: I know! ^_^ if you figure it out, then…I shall be forever grateful! But I answered it already…Ok…from Amfiteer, Marik gets a chainsaw and a flame thrower. And sure, you can date him! Right after his date with Jem! He's with her right now, so after her, you'll get your turn!

Malik: Hmm…My Yami's getting popular…

BA: Yeah, he is…wasn't he always popular?

Malik: Dunno.

BA: Moving along, the next is from Sleeping Koneko. Oh, of course it's okay that you ask more questions! We'll answer them! First one, Malik, did you know that you were cute when you were a little kid?

Malik: Of course! I mean, I am hot now, aren't I? What reason is there that I'm not cute as a kid?

BA: Stuck-up. Can she have a hug?

Malik: Umm…

BA: She has a present…

Malik: Okay! ^-^

Sleeping Koneko: Hi, Malik! *hugs him*

Malik: Umm…Hey. Now where's my gift?

Sleeping Koneko: Here, you get a katana and a book titled '2050 ways to kill the Pharaoh'!

Malik: Thanks! *looks over to where the still hog-tied Yami is* hehehehe…

Sleeping Koneko: *hugs Bakura* ^__^

Bakura: Hey! >.< What was that for?

Sleeping Koneko: I gotta go now! Bye…oh and BA, answer my questions to you honestly, ok?

BA: I will! Bye! Ok, Bakura, you get World Domination and a Chihuahua named Vicious.

Bakura: Vicious…cool name.

BA: And she has some questions too…Did you know that you were cute as a chibi?

Bakura: Of course I was!!! What did you think? If any one of you thought less, I'm appaled!

BA: Umm…TWINKIES ARE BLUE!!!

Bakura: Huh? What does that have to do with anything?

BA: I dunno…she just put it here…SK, you got your hugs and they got your gifts. Now all I have to do is answer your questions…How come I write so good? I do? I mean, you really mean it? *starts to tear up* thank you! I dunno how, but I usually write this late at night where my mind works at its best. Funny, I need my mind to function well in the morning since major subjects are my first two periods…-_- oh well. Did I know that I'm on your fave authors list? I am? Lemme check…*opens ff.net on another window* Hmm…I am!!! Thank you! ^_________^ I feel so loved! THANKS SO MUCH WHO PUT ME THERE TOO!!! And for my gifts…I get a wish and the set of the uncut version of the YGO DVD with the original voices…O.O Thanks! ^_^ I'll go watch 'em!

Malik, Bakura and BA: Ja'ne Minna-san!

BA: I gotta go catch up on my sleep…