Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Like A Pack Of... What? ❯ The Beginning ( Prologue )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Disclaimer: I don't own Yugioh. I don't even own Nixxus Gene Lexus, as he belongs to my dear friend Seto-chan (who needs an account. hinthintnudgenudge)

Warnings: Shonen ai, that means boyxboy, folks. And OOC-ness, which is abundant because it's what makes this story so funny. I try to make them in-character as much as I can, but I usually wind up failing. Ah well, the OOC-ness is supposed to be there, everyone. Don't like it, don't read. If you like it or find it amusing or both, read on and enjoy the insanity!

Note before we start: Okay, I'll admit it. I've gotten hooked on crazy Yugioh road trip stories and just had to write one of my own. Of course, I've taken it a bit further and have several "sequels" in mind... (coughs) Anyway, this is just a side fic that will probably be updated once a month or so. Possibly more if I get the first pages off the computer so I can write it out on notebook paper as well. Look forward to a bunch of crazy things happen! Neh heh heh heh! Don't ask.

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Seto is having one of those moments when you don’t know what the heck is going on or where you are. The only difference with Seto is that it can’t be blamed on getting drunk, memory loss, or being on drugs. No, Seto’s only excuse is his brother and his brother’s insane, pink-loving boyfriend, Nixxus Lexus.

The two boys are currently loading up the biggest van that they could buy. At the moment, Seto doesn’t know why and nor does he want to think about why. All he wants right now is his laptop and maybe some Aspirin. Okay, defiantly the Aspirin.

“Mokuba, are the noodles absolutely necessary?” Nixx asks, looking curiously at the large pool floating objects. “And if they are, why are they blue and green? Why not pink?”

“I’m sorry, Nixx. We don’t have any pink noodles.” Mokuba tells his boyfriend.

Nixx’s eyes fill with tears and he begins whimpering. “N-no pink?”

Mokuba hugs Nixx. “Don’t worry, Nixxy! If we come across Wal-Mart, we’ll stop there and buy all the pink things you want! I promise!”

“Yay!” Nixx cheers. He kisses Mokuba on the cheek and then takes the noodles out of the back of the truck. “So how are we going to convince Seto to pick up the others?”

Mokuba grins. “Don’t worry, I have a plan.”

One would think that by now Mokuba would have learned that plans sometimes go awry. But of course, this is Mokuba and Mokuba is used to getting what he wants. So is Nixx, for that matter.

“Seeeeetoooo!” Mokuba sings.

“No.” Seto says monotonously.

“Oh, come on. You don’t even know what I’m going to ask.” Mokuba says.

“You’re asking something. That’s all I need to know.” Seto replies.

“Oh, come on Seto. I could be asking you if you want to take your laptop with us or something.” Mokuba says.

“Are you?”

“…”

“Then my answer is no.”

Mokuba looks at Seto pleadingly. “Please big brother? Pretty please?” He eyes grow large and watery, a trick he’s learned from Yugi.

‘Could it really be so bad?’ Seto wonders, feeling his resolve weakening in face of his brother’s pleading. “Alright.”

“Yay! I love you!” Mokuba yells, hugging Seto tightly.

Nixx watches jealously from a few feet away. Mokuba notices and bounces over and hugs his huggable boyfriend. “I love you too!” He chirps.

“Yay, I’m loved!” Nixx happily says.

Things are not looking good for Seto. What has he agreed to?

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

Seto glares at the road ahead as he waits for Mokuba’s little friends to load their stuff into the van. One of them, however, has decided he must come and lean beside Seto’s door and bug the crap out of him.

“So how much did Mokuba beg before you gave into this?” Bakura asks boredly as he examines his nails. “Or does he have some sort of blackmail or crap on you?”

“I feel disinclined to answer your foolish questions.” Seto says, continuing to glare at the road. Although the option of glaring at Bakura or one of the Yugi’s is becoming very tempting.

“Who wants to ride shotgun?” Nixx asks deviously.

“ME!” Bakura, Duke, Tristan, Joey, Mokuba, and Yugi shout.

Seto groans and begins banging his head on the steering wheel, making the horn honk several times. Everyone else stops and stares at the brunette.

“Seto?”

“WHAT?” Seto snaps, lifting his head up and glaring at everyone.

Yugi squeaks and hides behind Yami while Serenity takes a step closer to Duke, who happily smiles and puts an arm around her shoulders. Joey notices and begins growling. Then Tristan notices and begins turning red from anger. Ryou sighs. Bakura laughs maniacally. Yami comforts Yugi. Mokuba sweat drops. Nixx proudly grins, happy at the chaos he’s managed to cause by a simple question.

“I’ve got an idea!” Mokuba exclaims after a few minutes of thinking. Unfortunately, during those few minutes he was thinking, the chaos spread. By the time he shouts that, Tristan is busily trying to choke Duke and Joey has tugged Serenity away from the two and is trying to convince Yugi and Yami to let her sit between them. His pleading isn’t working on the two, so he turns to Nixx for help, immediately forgets that idea, and begins sulking instead. While this is happening, Bakura’s calling somebody on a cell phone he “borrowed” from Ryou and Ryou is trying to get said cell phone from the thief. And Seto has begun banging his head on the steering wheel again.

“Doesn’t anyone want to hear my idea?” Mokuba asks.

The chaos continues.

Nixx, not liking the fact that Mokuba is being ignored, takes a deep breath and then bellows, “SHUT UP!”

Everyone shuts up and stares at the turquoise-and-blue haired boy.

Nixx grins and hugs Mokuba. “Alright. Go ahead and tell the idiots your idea.”

“Thanks, Nixx.” Mokuba says, kissing Nixx on the cheek.

Seto scowls.

“Alright, here’s my idea.” He pauses for suspense.

“Just tell us already!” Bakura growls.

“Let’s play ‘Paper Rock Scissors’ for it!” Mokuba exclaims happily.

The others agree and soon it’s just down to Joey, Bakura, and Yami. Wanting to sit next to Yugi and not deal with Seto, Yami purposely loses. Ryou whispers to Bakura through their mind link, making the white-haired thief lose his concentration and lose to Joey. And so they set off with Joey in the passengers seat beside Seto, who is driving. Behind them are Yami, Yugi, and Tristan, and behind them are Nixx, Mokuba, Duke, and Serenity. In the very back where there are no seats are Ryou and Bakura, who have created a barricade of ribbons to keep the suitcases from falling on them.

Soon they’re off.

“Off like a herd of turtles.” Ryou comments.

Everyone, with the exception of Seto, who’s driving, and Bakura, who’s used to Ryou’s off-the-wall comments, blinks and turns to look at the white-haired boy.

“What?” Nixx asks.

“It’s just a saying.” Ryou murmurs, turning red from embarrassment.

“It means we’re going slow.”

“Then why not ‘off like a line of slugs’?” Yugi asks. “Because some turtles can be fast.”

“Or ‘off like a gang of hermit crabs’!” Mokuba giggles.

“Or ‘off like a pack of raisins’!” Joey exclaims from up front.

Now everyone stares at Joey.

“Off like a pack of… what?” Duke asks.

Joey grins and holds up a box of raisins. “Raisins. Anybody want some?”

Seto rolls his eyes. “Wheeler, shut up and eat your raisins quietly. And the rest of you, there are some rules you need to know. One, no eating or drinking in the van. I still remember what happened last time, Mokuba and Nixx. Two, you will do nothing that might result in an accident or anything exploding. Three, no pudding, yogurt, or jello. Particularly the green kind. Fourth, there will be NO MAKING OUT IN THE VAN NIXXUS GENE LEXUS!”

Nixx just grins and scoots closer to Mokuba while contemplating how to get the slightly smaller boy to sit in his lap.

“Five, no one will mess with the radio while I’m driving.” He smacks Joey’s hands away from the radio. “No music.”

Joey glares at Seto and then goes back to eating his raisins.

“Six, do not mess with the windows. That includes, making them go up and down, making faces, and flashing people.” Seto continues. “Seven, no…”

By now the others have begun to ignore Seto. Although Bakura and Nixx are finding the CEO’s list of rules highly amusing.

“… and ten, we will not stop more than once in one hour.” He finishes.

“But what if-”

Seto cuts Ryou off. “No.”

“But-”

“No.”

There’s partial silence for a while, before Nixx begins to sing ‘the song that never ends’ and Bakura, Joey, Mokuba, Yugi, and Serenity join in. After the 30th verse of the song, Yami begins trying to beg Yugi to stop singing and Ryou does the same to Bakura. The two stubbornly refuse. Then Yami comes up with an idea.

“Aibou.” He softly whispers in Yugi’s ear.

Yugi shivers and looks at his Yami. This proves to be the downfall of his singing, as Yami leans forward and kisses Yugi.

Seto happens to glance in the rearview mirror. He swerves the car. Everyone crashes into either a window or the person to their right. The luggage tears free of the ‘barricade’ and crashes down on Ryou and Bakura, who are also making out.

“What the fuck?!” Bakura curses loudly.

“I SAID NO MAKING OUT IN THE VAN!!!” Seto screams.

“Someone has some issues.” Duke mutters.

“I DO NOT!” Seto swerves again, this time sending everyone crashing to the other side. This action also causes Joey and nearly fall into Seto’s lap, but Seto jerks back the other way which sends everyone flying back over to the right.

“Oww. My head!” Bakura complains. “Damn it, Kaiba! Where the hell did you learn to drive?!”

Seto chooses not to answer the white-haired thief, and instead focuses on steadying the van while tightly clutching the steering wheel.

“Kaiba, maybe you should let someone else drive for a while.” Yugi says cautiously.

“No.” Seto refuses. “I am the only one who will be driving this van.” He grips the steering wheel until his knuckles turn white. Meanwhile, his face is turning red from anger.

Yami gulps and backs down, not wanting Seto to kill them all by driving off the road or something. That wouldn’t be a nice way to go. Especially not for the King of Games.

The car falls back into silence, as nobody wishes to test Seto’s patience. Except for maybe Joey, who gets bored after the first five minutes of silence.

“I’m bored.” He announces. “And hungry.” Joey adds.

“Mutt, what happened to the raisins I gave you to shut you up?” Seto growls.

Joey looks sadly at the boxes of raisins laying in his lap. “I ate them.”

Seto’s mental ‘meter of anger’ goes up as he once again grips the steering wheel until his knuckles turn white. “You. Ate. Them. All.”

Joey gulps. “Yes?”

Seto twitches. Violently.

Half of the car goes off the edge of the road.

Someone in the back screams, “We’re all going to die! Take cover!”.

Someone Else turns around and hits Someone.

Joey suspects that Someone is Bakura and Someone Else is Yami. Or maybe Ryou. No, defiantly Yami. Of course, it could just be that Joey’s loosing his mind and that he imagined the whole thing. What was in those raisins…?

And so, the road trip is off to a wonderful start.

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Nixxus Lexus- My friend's absolutely wonderful, adorable OC who is obsessed with Mokuba and the color pink. He has long turquoise and and blue hair that he usually wears in a ponytail in her pictures and blue eyes. He's about 5'4", which makes him the shortest of the Lexus brothers. (He has two brothers, who I'll put little profiles about when they show up)

I have my friend's full permission to use him and his brother's. So yay! The story wouldn't be the same without those three!

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Character thoughts:

Seto: I'M GONNA KILL THEM!!! (swerves around dead skunk)

Mokuba: I wonder who gave Nixx sugar...

Joey: Darn I'm bored... and hungry...

Tristan: Why am I even here...?

Yugi: How did Mokuba convince Seto to do this?

Yami: Why me? Damn you Seto and your stupid rules. Now I can't ravish my aibou!

Nixx: Mokie, Mokie, Mokie, Mokie, Mokie, Mokie, Mokie, Mokie....!

Duke: If I scoot a bit closer, will Joey notice?

Serenity: What a nice trip we're going on.

Bakura: Screw Kaiba's rules! (tackles Ryou)

Ryou: BAKURA!!!

0-0-0-0

Shiro: Well, at least it's not off to a 'BANG!'.

Bast: And that's just the prologue, it can only get worse-

Shiro: (interrupts) Or better. Depending on whose point-of-view it's from.

Bast: -from here. (glares at Shiro) Don't interrupt me!

Shiro: Sorry, sorry.

Damian: Am I in this one?

Shiro: Nope. Sorry, Damian.

Damian: You put the pink-loving psycho and his brothers in here but not me?! Oh, I see how it is!

Keitaro: (hugs Shiro) See how what is?

Damian: She won't put me in the story!

Keitaro: Cry me a river and build a bridge, violet-boy.

Damian: It's purple, damn it!

Keitaro: (smirks) Whatever you say.

Damian: Finally- wait, are you being sarcastically.

Keitaro: (lays on the sarcastic tone) No, not at all.

Damian: Damn you-

Shiro: (nonchalantly stick a piece of brownie in Damian's mouth) Knock it off, both of you.

Keitaro: (pouts) Don't I get hand-fed a piece of brownie.

Shiro: (rolls eyes) You're a big boy, Keitaro. You don't need to be hand feed.

Damian: (chews piece of brownie and swallows) What is this, bash-Damian day?

Shiro: No, you're just special.

Keitaro: I wanna be special too!

Shiro: (sighs) I need a wall to bang my head against...