Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Like A Pack Of... What? ❯ Day 6: It All Comes Down To This ( Chapter 6 )
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
By: Sailor Mini Venus 
Anime/Manga: Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy / Romance / Adventure | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 02.04.2007 | Pages: 4 | Words: 4.0K | Visits: 301 | Status: Completed
Anime/Manga: Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy / Romance / Adventure | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 02.04.2007 | Pages: 4 | Words: 4.0K | Visits: 301 | Status: Completed
Disclaimer: I don't own Yugioh. I don't even own Nixxus Gene Lexus, Roman Jacob Lexus Jr., or Alexandrian James Lexus, as they belong to my dear friend Seto-chan.
Warnings: Shonen ai, that means boyxboy, folks. Some cursing. And OOC-ness, which is abundant because it's what makes this story so funny. I try to make them in-character as much as I can, but I usually wind up failing. Ah well, the OOC-ness is supposed to be there, everyone. Don't like it, don't read. If you like it or find it amusing or both, read on and enjoy the insanity!
-O-F-F--L-I-K-E--A--P-A-C-K--O-F--...--W-H-A-T-?-- O-F-F--L-I-K-E--A--P-A-C-K--O-F--...--W-H-A-T-?-
Day 6
Food: I ate it all
Sanity: did we ever have it? (What is sanity, anyway?)
J. Wheeler
I swear that next time we need to have a tape recorder instead of a journal. Then we can capture all of our odd conversations on tape. Not to mention how much blackmail that can come from that. Hey, maybe a video camera would work better! Then I could send it to ‘Funniest Home Videos’ and get money for it! Of course, that could also lead to us all going to prison, so that might not be a good idea.
Anyway, we haven’t left last night’s hotel yet because Duke and Serenity have been sent out to locate a map since Mariku threw the last one out the window. They’re taking an awful long time finding a map. Duke had better not do anything to my sister!
The only reason I know those two went out to find a map is because Mokuba yelled it through the door to me and Seto. You see, apparently we had a little too much to drink last night and we came up with some unusual dares for one another. And when I say “unusual” I mean, unusual for even Bakura and Mariku and any of our other friends. Things are going to be interesting today.
0-0-0
“Morons, get the hell out of the room!” Nixx yells, banging on the door to Joey and Seto’s room. “Serenity and Devlin are back with the stupid map so we can leave now!” He bangs on the door a few more times and then spots Mokuba coming around the corner and takes off running to his boyfriend. “Mokie!” He exclaims as he jumps onto Mokuba’s back.
Mokuba just laughs and keeps on walking, finding Nixx light enough to carry on his back. “Are Seto and Joey coming?”
Nixx wraps his arms loosely around Mokuba’s neck. “Oh, can’t we just leave those two and everyone else here and go fly to America and get married in Vegas? Pretty please?” He bats his eyelashes teasingly, which makes Mokuba laugh again.
“I don’t think they’d like that very much, Nixx.” Mokuba says. “Besides, I want a big wedding with all of our friends there!”
Nixx squeals and showers Mokuba with hugs and kisses.
0-0-0
A loud scream pierces the silence of the hotel and then Yugi comes skidding around the corner, a dark blush spread across his cheeks. He rushes immediately to Yami and cowers in fear in his boyfriend’s arms.
“What the hell?” Bakura voices the overall question of the group.
“N-Nixx! And Mokuba! Oh, my eyes…. My eyes…” Yugi moans, burying his head into the soft material of Yami‘s shirt. “Make the images go away.”
Yami smirks and whispers something in Yugi’s ear.
“WE DON’T HAVE TIME FOR THIS!” Bakura roars. “I want to get the hell out of here and get home so I can freely ravish my Ryou without any of you moronic fools disturbing us!”
The hotel is once again silent.
Ryou sighs and tries to pacify his yami. “Well, as soon as Joey and-- OH MY GOD! Joey, what are you wearing?!”
The others who are in the lobby waiting turn around to see a pretty blonde girl wearing a floor-length, blue Victorian gown. If Tristan were still with them he’d be drooling.
“Uh, Ryou. I don’t see Joey anywhere.” Duke says, started to get a little worried about Ryou’s sanity. Being Bakura’s boyfriend can’t be helping him stay sane.
“He’s right there!” Ryou points at the blonde girl who seems a little surprised about Ryou pointing at her.
Everyone else looks between Ryou and the blonde girl, wondering if Ryou is feeling all right. Another part of them wonders why the girl looks so familiar, but they just pass it off as her going to their school.
“Ryou, why are you pointing at me?”
Everyone’s jaw drops when they hear the girl-- no, Joey, speak. And while everyone else is shocked into silence, Bakura is more… creative in expressing what he thinks. Creative as in creatively combining curse words and other words to form a sentence that makes no sense whatsoever.
However shocked they are with Joey dressed like a girl, it’s nothing compared to how shocked they are when Seto comes down dressed as a girl as well. After all, they’ve all seen Joey in a dress before, just not with a wig. Anyway, Seto’s not just dressed as a girl. Somehow, Joey managed to force him into a poofy Southern Belle dress with lots of lace and bows. Oh, and it’s pink too. Thankfully, it’s a cotton candy pink instead of horrible eye-popping bright neon pink. And the ribbons and bows are white.
Bakura and Mariku howl with laughter. Everyone else tries to stifle their laughter at first, only to fail and start laughing.
Seto glares at Joey and brandishes the pink umbrella he’s brandishing, only to have it pop open and shower the floor with glitter.
Now Joey is laughing and Mariku and Bakura are rolling around on the ground clutching their sides. The others are still trying to stifle their laughter, but then one of them fails and they all start laughing again. And thus the Yugioh gang proves that laughter is contagious.
And then Nixx and Mokuba arrive, finished with their little kissing session in the hallway. Which was all they were doing. Yugi was just assuming things. Then again… Nixx’s hand in Mokuba’s front pocket could help anyone jump to conclusions…
Nixx takes one look at Seto and starts laughing. And… doesn’t stop. Soon he has joined Bakura and Mariku in rolling around on the ground while laughing. Mokuba just looks at Seto in shock for a moment before he gives his big brother a look.
Ignoring the warning looks that Seto is sending him, Mokuba yells, “Seto! I thought you said you would never do this again!”
Everyone falls silent at that statement. Everyone except Nixx, Mariku, and Bakura, but they don’t count because they laugh at everyone.
Soon after that interesting piece of information is yelled, they all find themselves once again crammed into the van. Determined to get back to Domino City within 12 hours, even if he has to drive all night, Seto is once again driving and Joey is in the passenger seat beside him. Everyone else is seated in a random order that is bound to cause trouble. At least, they are at first. They all had to jump into the car quickly before Seto drove off without him because they all got the CEO pissed off by laughing at him. Which is exactly why Yugi, Serenity, Mokuba, and Ryou are in the very back seat and Bakura, Yami, Mariku, Malik, Nixx, and Duke are in the middle seats.
Needless to say, they’re more squished than usual, even with Mariku hanging halfway out the window lobbing water balloons at passing cars.
“You should really consider getting him a leash, Malik.” Duke remarks to the saner blonde Egyptian.
“I had one once.” Malik says. “And then Ishizu found out about it and threw it out. Well, more likely she got Odion to throw it out, but either way it went into the trash.”
“Why? You’d think she’d be happy to have a leash for him.” Nixx grumbles, wondering if it’d be worth going to jail to push Mariku out the window.
Malik looks away, a slight blush staining his cheeks. “Err… well, she kind of found us… uh, using it.”
Everyone in the middle, except for Mariku and Bakura, looks blankly at Malik.
“What?” Yami asks.
Bakura snorts. “Isn’t it obvious? The morons lost their handcuffs and decided to use the damn leash for bondage instead. Sheesh.”
Sparing Malik from being ridiculed, Seto’s icy voice breaks up their conversation.
“Exactly what do you think you are discussing in my car? Right in front of my little brother!?!” The tires squeal as Seto swerves around a car. The speedometer reads 85.
“Nothing!” Malik squeaks. “Nothing at all, I swear! I-it- uh… It’s all Bakura’s fault!”
The car squeals as Seto swerves around another car. “The next person who says anything even remotely sexual is getting thrown out of the car at the next pit stop, locked in a port-o-potty with a bunch of knives, and then I’ll laugh as I pay someone to knock it over! And then you’ll be left there, got it?!”
“Yes sir!” Everyone, except for Mariku who is still lobbing water balloons at cars, squeaks.
“Good.” Seto smirks and glances over at Joey, who is once again eating raisins. “We’re stopping at one. Then we can get to my dare.”
Joey just shrugs and continues eating.
The speedometer reads 95.
Mariku curses angrily and gives some car the finger before lobbing a gelatin filled balloon at said car. Not that the balloon actually hit’s the car. Instead it hits a police car.
Everyone glares at Mariku for invoking Seto’s wrath when the policeman turns on the car’s sirens and pulls off the side of the road to chase them.
Seto twitches and slows down before pulling off the side of the road. He’s not stupid enough to think he can outrun a policeman. Mariku and Bakura might be, but not Seto.
As they pull to a stop, Malik jerks Mariku out of the window and orders him to sit still and not say anything until they start moving again and everyone else falls silent while inwardly cussing out Seto and Mariku.
Everything runs smoothly as Seto accepts the ticket and pays off the officer so he doesn’t get arrested. And then the rookie policeman bounces up, very much like Nixx would, and openly stares at Seto and Joey.
“What?” Seto snaps at him. “Never seen a guy cross-dress before?”
The rookies backs off, half frightened that there are two guys wearing dresses and half frightened of Seto’s patented Glare-of-Death.
The policeman sighs. “That’ll be the third rookie this week…”
Bidding the policeman goodbye, Seto pulls back onto the road and they continue on before Mariku can say anything stupid. Of course, that’s not to say Bakura doesn’t say anything stupid, for as they pull away the white-haired thief rolls down his window and yells, “Tis the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch!” and then proceeds to throw a water balloon at the road.
When Bakura settles back down in his seat he looks around to find everyone glaring at him. “What?”
“The Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch, huh?” Ryou questions. “I told you you’d like that movie.”
“Ekke-ekke-ekke-ekke-ptang-zoo-boing! Goodem-zoo-owli-zhiv!” Mariku and Bakura say in unison.
Ryou groans and bangs his head against the back of Duke’s seat, regretting ever letting the two watch the British comedy movie. “Alright you Knights Who Until Recently Said Ni, why don’t you go cut down a tree with a herring or something.”
Bakura and Mariku exchange looks and then break for the windows.
“I DIDN’T MEAN LITERALLY!” Ryou roars angrily. “Sit down you Neanderthals!”
The two sit down, although they look rather disappointed.
“It can be done.” Bakura grumbles.
“Well when we stop in the middle of the woods and miraculously find a herring then you two can try and cut down a tree.” Ryou says sarcastically.
“Really?” Mariku asks hopefully.
“No!” Ryou yells, waving his arms and accidentally smacking Yugi and Serenity in the face. “Because it’s not possible to cut down a tree with a fish!”
“Oh.”
The car is blissfully silent for a few minutes, the exception being the rustle of papers as Yugi goes back to reading the book Ryou lent him.
“So which do you think could carry a coconut, an African swallow or a European swallow?” Bakura asks Mariku conversationally.
“Well--”
“Drop it.” Ryou says warningly. “There will be no more making jokes from the movie that only the three of us have seen, do you understand me?” He glares at them for extra measure.
Bakura and Mariku nod and then fall silent, no doubt plotting their next plot to drive them all insane. Well, the next plot to drive them even more insane than they already are.
For a while everything is peaceful. There’s no arguments, no one randomly yelling obscene things out the windows, no odd games where Bakura makes up all of the rules, and Joey has an everlasting stack of raisin boxes. Surprisingly, the peace lasts until 1 o’clock, which is when they stop for lunch at Steak n’ Shake.
While they’re waiting for what seems like hours for their food, the saner half of the group looks over the map that Serenity and Duke got at the hotel, only to find out it’s a map of Wisconsin and not Japan. The not-at-all-sane half of the group occupies themselves with the straws and little wads of paper.
Finally the food arrives, but that’s only after ten waitresses come by to both try and placate Seto’s temper at how long the food is taking or to ask Bakura and Mariku to stop shooting spitballs at people.
Amazingly, they manage to not get kicked out of the restaurant. They also manage to not blow it up, which is a great accomplishment for them.
After they eat they all go back out to the car and everyone except for Seto and Joey get in. The blonde and brunette simply get something from their suitcases and go back inside to change out of the dresses. The others simply aren’t prepared for what they see when the two return.
Seto is dressed normally enough, except with more leather than usual. But Joey… poor Joey is dressed like a dog. His hair has been moved so it covers his ears and attached to his hair is a pair of golden-orange dog-ears. His nose has been painted black and short little white whiskers have been carefully glued to his nose. He’s dressed in a golden-orange, furry bodysuit that comes complete with a tail in the same color. To complete his doggy look he has a leash attached to the collar around his neck. A leash that Seto is holding.
Poor Joey will never hear the end of it. He’ll never see the end of it either, not with Nixx taking pictures of them.
Back into the car they go, this time with Joey driving and Seto in the passengers seat to give accurate directions. Somehow they located a map that had been stuffed under one of the seats and has bite marks on it from who-knows-what.
Off they go down the highway at a reasonable speed. For once they have a driver who knows how to go the speed limit. Of course, not everyone is happy about Joey’s taste in music.
“Turn this crap off, Wheeler!” Bakura yells, covering his ears. “How can you stand to listen to this shit?!”
Joey glares at Bakura using the rear-view mirror. “For your information, I like country music. And this song is a classic.”
“If by classic you mean ‘old as hell’, then yeah. The song is a classic.” Duke says. “Turn it to something else! Like rock!”
“I’m driving and I say we’re listening to country!” Joey yells. “If you’ve got a problem with it, I don’t care! Just deal with it like I had to deal with all the rock music that’s been playing!” Unlike Seto, Joey doesn’t start speeding up when he’s angry. He keeps going at the same speed.
“At least keep it turned down!” Duke protests.
Joey’s only reply to that is to crank up the radio as a new song starts and start singing along. “Ladies love country boys!”
“WHEELER!!!!”
0-0-0
Three hours worth of country songs later they arrive back in Domino City. By that time Bakura and Mariku have scratches and bruises from fighting with one another and they’re also unconscious thanks to Malik and Yami. Also, Nixx and Mokuba are asleep all cuddled up together, much to the annoyance of Seto. And the final thing is that they’ve all discovered Joey has a very nice singing voice. Even if almost all of them hate country music and that’s all Joey’s been singing for three hours straight.
As they’re driving down the road to the Kaiba Mansion, something darts out in front of the car and Joey slams on the brakes. When the randomly appearing cloud of dust disappears they all can see that it’s Tristan standing out in the middle of the road.
Joey rolls down his window and sticks his head out. “Tristan? How’d you get back here before us?” He notices a panicked look on his friend’s face. “And what’s wrong?”
“Get me out of here, please! She’s insane!” Tristan yells. “You gotta help me!”
“Tristan, who’s insane?” Joey asks, confused.
“Triiissstaaaaaan!”
Tristan pales even more and looks pleadingly at Joey. “Just let me in! I’ll explain once we’re out of here!”
Joey sighs. “Alright. Get in.”
Relieved, Tristan quickly gets in the car and squeezes in beside Duke. Right as Tristan shuts the door, Joey pushes down the gas pedal and they take off again. If someone were to look behind them they would see some girl from school that’s decided to stalk Tristan for the summer. But that’s a different story.
“So who are you running from, Taylor?” Duke asks. He’s not at all happy that he has to sit beside his brunette rival.
“There’s this crazy girl from school who’s been stalking me ever since I got back here!” Tristan exclaims, relieved at finally being able to relax. “She just won’t leave me alone. And she knows where I live!”
“Big deal.” Duke and Seto both deadpan.
“Try having whole crowds of girls stalking you, then we’ll talk.” Duke says. “One girl is nothing.”
Tristan falls silent which means the entire van is silent except for the radio, which is still playing country music.
“There’s a long black train, comin’ down the line--”
“SHUT UP, WHEELER!”
Joey ignores Duke and continues singing.
“Joey? Why are you dressed like a dog?” Tristan asks.
“Turn here, Wheeler.” Seto says suddenly, keeping Joey from answering Tristan’s question for a minute.
As the Kaiba Mansion comes into view, which inevitably means the end of the trip, Joey begins the answer Tristan’s question. “Well, it’s a long story. It all started last night when me and Seto had a drink or two--”
“Since when is he ‘Seto’?” Ryou asks, quite amused by the development.
Joey blushes a little. “Since last night.” He mumbles. “Anyway, we had been drinking tequila…”
0-0-0
Later that night after everyone has been kicked out of the mansion, including Nixx even after all the pouting and whining he did, Mokuba creeps into Seto’s room and finds his brother at his desk doing some work.
“Seto?”
Seto glances at Mokuba for a second and then goes back to his work. Mokuba takes that as his cue to continue.
“Thanks for taking us to the mall, even though it did get destroyed by Malik and Mariku and you had to put up with the others. Forgive me?” He asks pleadingly.
“Forgiven.”
Mokuba smiles and claps his hands together. “Great! I guess now would be a good time to tell you I won plane tickets to a newly discovered island and want to invite Nixx and everyone else to go with us!”
“That’s nice, Mokuba.”
Mokuba bounds forward and hugs Seto. “I love you big brother!” And then he’s gone from the room to spread the good news.
It takes a grand total of 30 seconds for Seto to realize what he’s agreed to. “WHAT! MOKUBA SEIICHI KAIBA!!!!!”
-O-F-F--L-I-K-E--A--P-A-C-K--O-F--...--W-H -A-T-?--O-F-F--L-I-K-E--A--P-A-C-K--O-F--...--W-H-A-T-?-
Shiro: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! T'is finished! Complete! Finito! The end! N--
Bast: You now get to start on the sequel, you realize.
Shiro: T.T Yeah.
Bast: Alright, the sequel to this is called, "Terror In The Sky" so keep an eye out for it. I'm not sure when the first chapter will be posted, but it may be a while since hikari-chan likes getting a few chapters finished before she posts the first one. Usually it ensures she doesn't fall too behind on the story. But in cases like this story and Family Bonds, it simply doesn't work.
Shiro: (sticks out tongue) And whose fault is that?
Bast: Not mine. I'm not your muse.
Shiro: Oh, right. DAMIAN!!!! KEITARO!!! (runs off to find the guys)
Bast: (sighs) Shiro would like to thank everyone who has reviewed and/or put the story on his or her alert/favorite list. So here it is, "THANK YOU EVERYONE!!!"
Warnings: Shonen ai, that means boyxboy, folks. Some cursing. And OOC-ness, which is abundant because it's what makes this story so funny. I try to make them in-character as much as I can, but I usually wind up failing. Ah well, the OOC-ness is supposed to be there, everyone. Don't like it, don't read. If you like it or find it amusing or both, read on and enjoy the insanity!
-O-F-F--L-I-K-E--A--P-A-C-K--O-F--...--W-H-A-T-?-- O-F-F--L-I-K-E--A--P-A-C-K--O-F--...--W-H-A-T-?-
Day 6: It All Comes Down To This
Log of the Road TripDay 6
Food: I ate it all
Sanity: did we ever have it? (What is sanity, anyway?)
J. Wheeler
I swear that next time we need to have a tape recorder instead of a journal. Then we can capture all of our odd conversations on tape. Not to mention how much blackmail that can come from that. Hey, maybe a video camera would work better! Then I could send it to ‘Funniest Home Videos’ and get money for it! Of course, that could also lead to us all going to prison, so that might not be a good idea.
Anyway, we haven’t left last night’s hotel yet because Duke and Serenity have been sent out to locate a map since Mariku threw the last one out the window. They’re taking an awful long time finding a map. Duke had better not do anything to my sister!
The only reason I know those two went out to find a map is because Mokuba yelled it through the door to me and Seto. You see, apparently we had a little too much to drink last night and we came up with some unusual dares for one another. And when I say “unusual” I mean, unusual for even Bakura and Mariku and any of our other friends. Things are going to be interesting today.
0-0-0
“Morons, get the hell out of the room!” Nixx yells, banging on the door to Joey and Seto’s room. “Serenity and Devlin are back with the stupid map so we can leave now!” He bangs on the door a few more times and then spots Mokuba coming around the corner and takes off running to his boyfriend. “Mokie!” He exclaims as he jumps onto Mokuba’s back.
Mokuba just laughs and keeps on walking, finding Nixx light enough to carry on his back. “Are Seto and Joey coming?”
Nixx wraps his arms loosely around Mokuba’s neck. “Oh, can’t we just leave those two and everyone else here and go fly to America and get married in Vegas? Pretty please?” He bats his eyelashes teasingly, which makes Mokuba laugh again.
“I don’t think they’d like that very much, Nixx.” Mokuba says. “Besides, I want a big wedding with all of our friends there!”
Nixx squeals and showers Mokuba with hugs and kisses.
0-0-0
A loud scream pierces the silence of the hotel and then Yugi comes skidding around the corner, a dark blush spread across his cheeks. He rushes immediately to Yami and cowers in fear in his boyfriend’s arms.
“What the hell?” Bakura voices the overall question of the group.
“N-Nixx! And Mokuba! Oh, my eyes…. My eyes…” Yugi moans, burying his head into the soft material of Yami‘s shirt. “Make the images go away.”
Yami smirks and whispers something in Yugi’s ear.
“WE DON’T HAVE TIME FOR THIS!” Bakura roars. “I want to get the hell out of here and get home so I can freely ravish my Ryou without any of you moronic fools disturbing us!”
The hotel is once again silent.
Ryou sighs and tries to pacify his yami. “Well, as soon as Joey and-- OH MY GOD! Joey, what are you wearing?!”
The others who are in the lobby waiting turn around to see a pretty blonde girl wearing a floor-length, blue Victorian gown. If Tristan were still with them he’d be drooling.
“Uh, Ryou. I don’t see Joey anywhere.” Duke says, started to get a little worried about Ryou’s sanity. Being Bakura’s boyfriend can’t be helping him stay sane.
“He’s right there!” Ryou points at the blonde girl who seems a little surprised about Ryou pointing at her.
Everyone else looks between Ryou and the blonde girl, wondering if Ryou is feeling all right. Another part of them wonders why the girl looks so familiar, but they just pass it off as her going to their school.
“Ryou, why are you pointing at me?”
Everyone’s jaw drops when they hear the girl-- no, Joey, speak. And while everyone else is shocked into silence, Bakura is more… creative in expressing what he thinks. Creative as in creatively combining curse words and other words to form a sentence that makes no sense whatsoever.
However shocked they are with Joey dressed like a girl, it’s nothing compared to how shocked they are when Seto comes down dressed as a girl as well. After all, they’ve all seen Joey in a dress before, just not with a wig. Anyway, Seto’s not just dressed as a girl. Somehow, Joey managed to force him into a poofy Southern Belle dress with lots of lace and bows. Oh, and it’s pink too. Thankfully, it’s a cotton candy pink instead of horrible eye-popping bright neon pink. And the ribbons and bows are white.
Bakura and Mariku howl with laughter. Everyone else tries to stifle their laughter at first, only to fail and start laughing.
Seto glares at Joey and brandishes the pink umbrella he’s brandishing, only to have it pop open and shower the floor with glitter.
Now Joey is laughing and Mariku and Bakura are rolling around on the ground clutching their sides. The others are still trying to stifle their laughter, but then one of them fails and they all start laughing again. And thus the Yugioh gang proves that laughter is contagious.
And then Nixx and Mokuba arrive, finished with their little kissing session in the hallway. Which was all they were doing. Yugi was just assuming things. Then again… Nixx’s hand in Mokuba’s front pocket could help anyone jump to conclusions…
Nixx takes one look at Seto and starts laughing. And… doesn’t stop. Soon he has joined Bakura and Mariku in rolling around on the ground while laughing. Mokuba just looks at Seto in shock for a moment before he gives his big brother a look.
Ignoring the warning looks that Seto is sending him, Mokuba yells, “Seto! I thought you said you would never do this again!”
Everyone falls silent at that statement. Everyone except Nixx, Mariku, and Bakura, but they don’t count because they laugh at everyone.
Soon after that interesting piece of information is yelled, they all find themselves once again crammed into the van. Determined to get back to Domino City within 12 hours, even if he has to drive all night, Seto is once again driving and Joey is in the passenger seat beside him. Everyone else is seated in a random order that is bound to cause trouble. At least, they are at first. They all had to jump into the car quickly before Seto drove off without him because they all got the CEO pissed off by laughing at him. Which is exactly why Yugi, Serenity, Mokuba, and Ryou are in the very back seat and Bakura, Yami, Mariku, Malik, Nixx, and Duke are in the middle seats.
Needless to say, they’re more squished than usual, even with Mariku hanging halfway out the window lobbing water balloons at passing cars.
“You should really consider getting him a leash, Malik.” Duke remarks to the saner blonde Egyptian.
“I had one once.” Malik says. “And then Ishizu found out about it and threw it out. Well, more likely she got Odion to throw it out, but either way it went into the trash.”
“Why? You’d think she’d be happy to have a leash for him.” Nixx grumbles, wondering if it’d be worth going to jail to push Mariku out the window.
Malik looks away, a slight blush staining his cheeks. “Err… well, she kind of found us… uh, using it.”
Everyone in the middle, except for Mariku and Bakura, looks blankly at Malik.
“What?” Yami asks.
Bakura snorts. “Isn’t it obvious? The morons lost their handcuffs and decided to use the damn leash for bondage instead. Sheesh.”
Sparing Malik from being ridiculed, Seto’s icy voice breaks up their conversation.
“Exactly what do you think you are discussing in my car? Right in front of my little brother!?!” The tires squeal as Seto swerves around a car. The speedometer reads 85.
“Nothing!” Malik squeaks. “Nothing at all, I swear! I-it- uh… It’s all Bakura’s fault!”
The car squeals as Seto swerves around another car. “The next person who says anything even remotely sexual is getting thrown out of the car at the next pit stop, locked in a port-o-potty with a bunch of knives, and then I’ll laugh as I pay someone to knock it over! And then you’ll be left there, got it?!”
“Yes sir!” Everyone, except for Mariku who is still lobbing water balloons at cars, squeaks.
“Good.” Seto smirks and glances over at Joey, who is once again eating raisins. “We’re stopping at one. Then we can get to my dare.”
Joey just shrugs and continues eating.
The speedometer reads 95.
Mariku curses angrily and gives some car the finger before lobbing a gelatin filled balloon at said car. Not that the balloon actually hit’s the car. Instead it hits a police car.
Everyone glares at Mariku for invoking Seto’s wrath when the policeman turns on the car’s sirens and pulls off the side of the road to chase them.
Seto twitches and slows down before pulling off the side of the road. He’s not stupid enough to think he can outrun a policeman. Mariku and Bakura might be, but not Seto.
As they pull to a stop, Malik jerks Mariku out of the window and orders him to sit still and not say anything until they start moving again and everyone else falls silent while inwardly cussing out Seto and Mariku.
Everything runs smoothly as Seto accepts the ticket and pays off the officer so he doesn’t get arrested. And then the rookie policeman bounces up, very much like Nixx would, and openly stares at Seto and Joey.
“What?” Seto snaps at him. “Never seen a guy cross-dress before?”
The rookies backs off, half frightened that there are two guys wearing dresses and half frightened of Seto’s patented Glare-of-Death.
The policeman sighs. “That’ll be the third rookie this week…”
Bidding the policeman goodbye, Seto pulls back onto the road and they continue on before Mariku can say anything stupid. Of course, that’s not to say Bakura doesn’t say anything stupid, for as they pull away the white-haired thief rolls down his window and yells, “Tis the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch!” and then proceeds to throw a water balloon at the road.
When Bakura settles back down in his seat he looks around to find everyone glaring at him. “What?”
“The Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch, huh?” Ryou questions. “I told you you’d like that movie.”
“Ekke-ekke-ekke-ekke-ptang-zoo-boing! Goodem-zoo-owli-zhiv!” Mariku and Bakura say in unison.
Ryou groans and bangs his head against the back of Duke’s seat, regretting ever letting the two watch the British comedy movie. “Alright you Knights Who Until Recently Said Ni, why don’t you go cut down a tree with a herring or something.”
Bakura and Mariku exchange looks and then break for the windows.
“I DIDN’T MEAN LITERALLY!” Ryou roars angrily. “Sit down you Neanderthals!”
The two sit down, although they look rather disappointed.
“It can be done.” Bakura grumbles.
“Well when we stop in the middle of the woods and miraculously find a herring then you two can try and cut down a tree.” Ryou says sarcastically.
“Really?” Mariku asks hopefully.
“No!” Ryou yells, waving his arms and accidentally smacking Yugi and Serenity in the face. “Because it’s not possible to cut down a tree with a fish!”
“Oh.”
The car is blissfully silent for a few minutes, the exception being the rustle of papers as Yugi goes back to reading the book Ryou lent him.
“So which do you think could carry a coconut, an African swallow or a European swallow?” Bakura asks Mariku conversationally.
“Well--”
“Drop it.” Ryou says warningly. “There will be no more making jokes from the movie that only the three of us have seen, do you understand me?” He glares at them for extra measure.
Bakura and Mariku nod and then fall silent, no doubt plotting their next plot to drive them all insane. Well, the next plot to drive them even more insane than they already are.
For a while everything is peaceful. There’s no arguments, no one randomly yelling obscene things out the windows, no odd games where Bakura makes up all of the rules, and Joey has an everlasting stack of raisin boxes. Surprisingly, the peace lasts until 1 o’clock, which is when they stop for lunch at Steak n’ Shake.
While they’re waiting for what seems like hours for their food, the saner half of the group looks over the map that Serenity and Duke got at the hotel, only to find out it’s a map of Wisconsin and not Japan. The not-at-all-sane half of the group occupies themselves with the straws and little wads of paper.
Finally the food arrives, but that’s only after ten waitresses come by to both try and placate Seto’s temper at how long the food is taking or to ask Bakura and Mariku to stop shooting spitballs at people.
Amazingly, they manage to not get kicked out of the restaurant. They also manage to not blow it up, which is a great accomplishment for them.
After they eat they all go back out to the car and everyone except for Seto and Joey get in. The blonde and brunette simply get something from their suitcases and go back inside to change out of the dresses. The others simply aren’t prepared for what they see when the two return.
Seto is dressed normally enough, except with more leather than usual. But Joey… poor Joey is dressed like a dog. His hair has been moved so it covers his ears and attached to his hair is a pair of golden-orange dog-ears. His nose has been painted black and short little white whiskers have been carefully glued to his nose. He’s dressed in a golden-orange, furry bodysuit that comes complete with a tail in the same color. To complete his doggy look he has a leash attached to the collar around his neck. A leash that Seto is holding.
Poor Joey will never hear the end of it. He’ll never see the end of it either, not with Nixx taking pictures of them.
Back into the car they go, this time with Joey driving and Seto in the passengers seat to give accurate directions. Somehow they located a map that had been stuffed under one of the seats and has bite marks on it from who-knows-what.
Off they go down the highway at a reasonable speed. For once they have a driver who knows how to go the speed limit. Of course, not everyone is happy about Joey’s taste in music.
“Turn this crap off, Wheeler!” Bakura yells, covering his ears. “How can you stand to listen to this shit?!”
Joey glares at Bakura using the rear-view mirror. “For your information, I like country music. And this song is a classic.”
“If by classic you mean ‘old as hell’, then yeah. The song is a classic.” Duke says. “Turn it to something else! Like rock!”
“I’m driving and I say we’re listening to country!” Joey yells. “If you’ve got a problem with it, I don’t care! Just deal with it like I had to deal with all the rock music that’s been playing!” Unlike Seto, Joey doesn’t start speeding up when he’s angry. He keeps going at the same speed.
“At least keep it turned down!” Duke protests.
Joey’s only reply to that is to crank up the radio as a new song starts and start singing along. “Ladies love country boys!”
“WHEELER!!!!”
0-0-0
Three hours worth of country songs later they arrive back in Domino City. By that time Bakura and Mariku have scratches and bruises from fighting with one another and they’re also unconscious thanks to Malik and Yami. Also, Nixx and Mokuba are asleep all cuddled up together, much to the annoyance of Seto. And the final thing is that they’ve all discovered Joey has a very nice singing voice. Even if almost all of them hate country music and that’s all Joey’s been singing for three hours straight.
As they’re driving down the road to the Kaiba Mansion, something darts out in front of the car and Joey slams on the brakes. When the randomly appearing cloud of dust disappears they all can see that it’s Tristan standing out in the middle of the road.
Joey rolls down his window and sticks his head out. “Tristan? How’d you get back here before us?” He notices a panicked look on his friend’s face. “And what’s wrong?”
“Get me out of here, please! She’s insane!” Tristan yells. “You gotta help me!”
“Tristan, who’s insane?” Joey asks, confused.
“Triiissstaaaaaan!”
Tristan pales even more and looks pleadingly at Joey. “Just let me in! I’ll explain once we’re out of here!”
Joey sighs. “Alright. Get in.”
Relieved, Tristan quickly gets in the car and squeezes in beside Duke. Right as Tristan shuts the door, Joey pushes down the gas pedal and they take off again. If someone were to look behind them they would see some girl from school that’s decided to stalk Tristan for the summer. But that’s a different story.
“So who are you running from, Taylor?” Duke asks. He’s not at all happy that he has to sit beside his brunette rival.
“There’s this crazy girl from school who’s been stalking me ever since I got back here!” Tristan exclaims, relieved at finally being able to relax. “She just won’t leave me alone. And she knows where I live!”
“Big deal.” Duke and Seto both deadpan.
“Try having whole crowds of girls stalking you, then we’ll talk.” Duke says. “One girl is nothing.”
Tristan falls silent which means the entire van is silent except for the radio, which is still playing country music.
“There’s a long black train, comin’ down the line--”
“SHUT UP, WHEELER!”
Joey ignores Duke and continues singing.
“Joey? Why are you dressed like a dog?” Tristan asks.
“Turn here, Wheeler.” Seto says suddenly, keeping Joey from answering Tristan’s question for a minute.
As the Kaiba Mansion comes into view, which inevitably means the end of the trip, Joey begins the answer Tristan’s question. “Well, it’s a long story. It all started last night when me and Seto had a drink or two--”
“Since when is he ‘Seto’?” Ryou asks, quite amused by the development.
Joey blushes a little. “Since last night.” He mumbles. “Anyway, we had been drinking tequila…”
0-0-0
Later that night after everyone has been kicked out of the mansion, including Nixx even after all the pouting and whining he did, Mokuba creeps into Seto’s room and finds his brother at his desk doing some work.
“Seto?”
Seto glances at Mokuba for a second and then goes back to his work. Mokuba takes that as his cue to continue.
“Thanks for taking us to the mall, even though it did get destroyed by Malik and Mariku and you had to put up with the others. Forgive me?” He asks pleadingly.
“Forgiven.”
Mokuba smiles and claps his hands together. “Great! I guess now would be a good time to tell you I won plane tickets to a newly discovered island and want to invite Nixx and everyone else to go with us!”
“That’s nice, Mokuba.”
Mokuba bounds forward and hugs Seto. “I love you big brother!” And then he’s gone from the room to spread the good news.
It takes a grand total of 30 seconds for Seto to realize what he’s agreed to. “WHAT! MOKUBA SEIICHI KAIBA!!!!!”
-O-F-F--L-I-K-E--A--P-A-C-K--O-F--...--W-H -A-T-?--O-F-F--L-I-K-E--A--P-A-C-K--O-F--...--W-H-A-T-?-
Shiro: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! T'is finished! Complete! Finito! The end! N--
Bast: You now get to start on the sequel, you realize.
Shiro: T.T Yeah.
Bast: Alright, the sequel to this is called, "Terror In The Sky" so keep an eye out for it. I'm not sure when the first chapter will be posted, but it may be a while since hikari-chan likes getting a few chapters finished before she posts the first one. Usually it ensures she doesn't fall too behind on the story. But in cases like this story and Family Bonds, it simply doesn't work.
Shiro: (sticks out tongue) And whose fault is that?
Bast: Not mine. I'm not your muse.
Shiro: Oh, right. DAMIAN!!!! KEITARO!!! (runs off to find the guys)
Bast: (sighs) Shiro would like to thank everyone who has reviewed and/or put the story on his or her alert/favorite list. So here it is, "THANK YOU EVERYONE!!!"