Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Simply You ❯ Simply You ( Chapter 1 )

Simply You

 

AN: Here's the sequel to “Simply Held”. A bit yaoi-ish, this one is. It's less angsty, longer, and kind of fluffy. Enjoy!

 

Disclaimer: Never have, never will.

 

 

Things have changed.

 

Well, that's a given. But I mean…it's an obvious change. Okay, another idiotic statement. But it's true. Things are different around here…a little too different.

 

I'm not saying that I don't like it. In fact, I love it. Whatever happened, it saved me from the darkness; my darkness. In more ways than one, I guess you could say. Whatever happened, it's healing me. Not just physically though; mentally too. And it's healing him as well.

 

I can see it in his eyes, in the way he moves. It almost as if a weight has been lifted off his shoulders, like as if he's come to some sort of important realization about something. He's…not necessarily “happy” per-se. But he's definitely less angry, less worried…even less sorrowful, at times. Yes, even though all he ever seemed to show was rage, I could sense sorrow there. Not very often of course; it kind of sat there, lingering, like a forgotten thought or object. I don't know what he was sad about…but I'm glad it's ebbing away. Even if I can still sense it at times.

 

We haven't spoken about what happened to us since it did. There's really no need for words, is there? I would like to know what happened though. It would help to get rid of my confusion, and lingering uneasiness whenever I'm around him. But I don't want things to change again; I don't want them to go back to the way they were before. I would face hell and back before I wanted that to happen.

 

If things went back to the way they were before, he wouldn't have to be the one to kill me.

 

So, if that's what has to happen for things to stay like this, I'll keep quiet. Nothing else could ever happen between us, I could still remain in love with someone who doesn't love me…and as long as nothing went back to the way it was before, I would be content. Because I would still be closer to him than I ever was, I would still feel less lonely, and I would still have him: Bakura…the other half of my soul. Even though I'll always be connected to him, knowing that I actually deserve him would make it that much better.

 

Whoever thought that my darkness could turn out to be my light?

 

 

Ryou lay awake in his bed, listening to the soft sounds of the night. Pulling hands up under his head, he sighed deeply, continuing his musings about the previous weeks, quickly turning into months. He had been right to think that things were different: besides the extreme lack of usual “treatments” from his yami, there had been other, more subtle changes around his small apartment. The largest taking place between the two soul halves, in the relationship they shared. And it wasn't just then end of the abuse. There were other things, more amazing things, things akin to deep affection.

 

Like now, as Ryou rolled onto his side, facing his open doorway. He could hear the sound of soft snoring coming from down the hallway, signaling that Bakura was sleeping, quite peacefully at that. Even though the spirit was unconscious, Ryou could feel waves of emotions and images seeping though their mind-link. Smiling a bit, even though he couldn't decipher what he was receiving, the lighter half willed his eyes to close, even though sleep wasn't coming to him.

 

Kicking off his blanket, the snowy-haired boy pressed his face deeper into the pillow he was clutching. Bakura…he thought sleepily, smile widening. Even though the dark would never know how he felt, this ease between the two was better than nothing. After all, that one day was weird enough, no need to make anything worse. Sighing, the boy decided to take his mind off of his obsession. Sleep would never be more important than his look-alike, but right now, it was in closer reach. And it never tried to bite you when you reached out to it.

 

 

It wouldn't take an idiot to notice that things are different around here. Hell, even the Pharaoh's midget of a hikari could see it! Okay, so the guy isn't that naïve, but still…he positively reeks of innocence at times.

 

Not to say that I'm not enjoying what's going on, because I am. It's just strange, to say the least. To feel this way…to be able to control myself for the first time in around three thousand years, give or take a few. Whatever's happened, it saved me, cliché as it sounds, from myself. From the darkness, my darkness. And it didn't just save me…I think it saved him too. He's healing; not just the scars and such, but mentally too, at least it seems that way. Which is good. We both needed this.

 

I can see the biggest difference in the way he acts, the way he talks, especially in his eyes. It burns to say that whatever I put there is leaving, not that I don't want it too. But it's like a piece of me is leaving, even if it's the evil I branded into him. I've been trying to forget what I did, and when I manage to, it's like I feel lighter. Ever since I read his diary, no matter how dishonest that was, it's been easier to stop myself before I go too far. A realization of sorts took place, I guess. I mean, besides the obvious.

 

We haven't spoken about this at all. Not even about that day; the day everything changed between us. It still isn't the time for words, even though there's so much to say. I know he deserves to hear what I found out, and what caused my change of heart. But it's hard to say anything, just to bring myself to say anything at all, even the simple words I spoke earlier. It might change things again…might turn them around, back to what they were before. I might not be able to stop myself if something gets the better of me. Even though I'd rather go the rest of my existence without him than let that happen, I know it's all too entirely possible.

 

If that were to happen…I don't think either one of us would be able to control ourselves. And one of us might never walk away again.

 

But like hell I'll let that happen. If that's the consequences of exposing myself, I'd rather hold onto this, whatever it is that we have now. I'd rather feel uneasy around him, wary of my actions, try too hard, than to ever turn back. Even if it means never telling him how much I do love him, contrary to what he must think. I'll prove my strength by keeping my silence, than show my weakness by bluntly exposing it again. Because nothing would be worse than to lose him, even having our relationship go no further than this. Though I don't deserve Ryou, knowing he's around is enough to keep me sane. Well, as sane as I can get.

 

There's a reason he's the hikari in our relationship. The light is what most often changes the dark.

 

 

Bakura shifted slightly, eyes open. It wasn't natural for him to be this restless, even if his even breathing suggested otherwise. Too many thoughts were running through his mind, and he halfway noticed that he'd left the mind-link he shared with Ryou partially open. Not bothering to close it off, assuming his hikari was asleep, he sat up, swinging his legs over the side of the bed. Running calloused fingers though slightly tangled hair, he stood up, trying to clear his head.

 

Padding down the hall, he paused at Ryou's open door, casting a look in. His hikari, he decided, looked utterly beautiful covered in moonlight. Trying -and failing- to tear his eyes away, he instead took a step into the room, standing against a wall silently. Resting his head on the smooth plaster, he continued watching Ryou, admitting to himself that he was a bit too stalkerish at times. Resisting the urge to chuckle at the thought, his eyes started falling, the calm aura of the room easing him into rest.

 

“…Bakura…”

 

The loud whimper reached the sprit though the fog that was gathering in his mind, and he jumped lightly, tossing a look towards his hikari's bed. The smaller dove-haired boy had his face halfway pushed into a pillow, but what part wasn't covered was distorted in something resembling fear, as well as desperation. His body was making small, jerky movements, like he was trying to get rid of something.

 

Or get away from something, Bakura thought, panicking slightly as he rushed to his hikari's side. “Ryou,” he whispered, dropping his defenses as he ran though his thoughts, searching for a solution to nightmares. Never having dealt with the situation before, he tried to grab onto Ryou's hands. But the boy flailed harder, his whimpers now soft cries. “No,” he wailed, kicking out, narrowly missing his yami. “Please…I'm sorry!”

 

Bakura was desperate. Whatever Ryou was going through was a mystery to him, as Ryou had closed the link in his panic. Releasing pale arms, Bakura formed what was most likely the stupidest idea he'd ever thought of. Tossing caution to the wind, the spirit dodged kicks and clawing hands to jump beside Ryou in his bed, wrapping strong arms around a thin waist. Burying his face into Ryou's neck, he tried to sooth the boy, hands unconsciously caressing his chest before reaching out to pull the other's hands close to it. He wrapped his own legs around his light's, begging the boy to calm down. “Ryou,” he whispered forcefully, breath hot against the other's skin. “Ryou, wake up. Please, wake up…”

 

 

“Ryou, wake up. Please…wake up…”

 

The words were echoing around him, trying to pull him out of the hell he'd entered. Reaching out to them, to the soft yet forceful voice, he felt himself returning to consciousness, eyes flying open roughly. He was aware of his ragged breathing, as well as the tear marks that ran down his face. His heart was beating hard under his ribs, adrenaline coursing through his blood at a dizzying pace. Taking in a few deep breaths to calm himself, he pressed against the warmth he felt at his back, unfamiliar but not unwelcome.

 

Eyes had started to close once more, before Ryou became fully aware of just what he was pressing up against. Feebly trying to control himself, he realized that other legs were restraining his legs, his arms were pinned to his chest by other hands…another head was pressed against his neck. Swallowing, he concentrated on the feel of the other body. “Y-yami?” he stuttered cautiously, earning a loud sigh of relief from the other occupant of the bed.

 

“Ryou,” Bakura muttered, his tone filled with something that sounded a lot like happiness. “You're all right.”

 

“What happened?” The smaller boy questioned, shifting himself, trying not to break his yami's hold on his body. “You were having a nightmare,” was the reply, and he lowered his head in shame.

 

“Oh. I'm sorry I woke you Bakura,” he muttered softly, sounding like how he had in the dream. But then, it wasn't under these circumstances. Then, he'd been begging forgiveness for loving the man who was now holding him, begging for the other to stop hurting him…begging for his life. Shivering at the fresh memories, and from the warm breath on his neck, he was surprised at the response from his other half.

 

“You didn't wake me; I couldn't sleep as it was, but I heard you having that nightmare… and this was the only thing I could think of to calm you down. You're okay now, right?”

 

“Yes Bakura. Thank you for helping me.” His comment went unanswered, and he felt arms and legs stiffen. “It's never a problem Ryou,” came what sounded like a forced answer, and doe brown eyes fell, hopes slightly crushed. Even though they were in an interesting situation, Ryou figured it was nothing more than for comfort. Stepping out on a limb, he shifted again, this time to face his yami. Pulling his hands back to himself and out of Bakura's, the smaller boy searched for the right words.

 

“Why did you help me?” he questioned, eyes still downcast. “Why…shouldn't I have helped you?” came the uneasy response, and Ryou shrugged, slightly aware that his legs were still entangled with Bakura's. Tugging them away, he looked up, meeting coffee black eyes. “I don't know…” he mumbled vaguely, looking towards the foot of his bed, where the sheets lay in a bunched up heap.

 

Strong fingers grasped his chin, firmly -but not painfully- turning his gaze back onto Bakura's. “Yes you do,” the spirit murmured, scowling slightly. “Ryou, you can tell me. Why wouldn't I have helped you?”

 

“Because you shouldn't be burdened by me,” Ryou whispered back, against his better judgment, hoping his yami hadn't heard. “Because I shouldn't matter to you…at all.” He knew Bakura had heard that; the darkening of his scowl was a dead give away. Please, don't be mad, he thought, subconsciously bracing himself for what he believed was coming. Instead, his head was tilted down onto a warm, bare shoulder. Said owner of the shoulder sighed deeply, shaking spiked hair out of a well-angled face. “Ryou,” Bakura started, concern and a bit of pity lacing the word. “Did I really…do…to you? Did I really…that much?” He couldn't bring himself to say the words, but by the stiffening of the body against his, he could tell that his message was getting across.

 

“……,” Ryou's lack of words was unnerving, an affirmation of his questions. Sighing again, -he seemed to be doing that a lot lately- Bakura pinched the bridge of his nose. “Hikari,” he muttered, eyes closing. “I…you know I…that's to say…”

 

“Please.” Looking down at the boy in his arms, Bakura noticed the way his eyes were glazing over as they looked up. “Bakura, please don't be mad. I know I deserved all that…I'm sorry I'm weak like this.” Tears were starting to slip out of Ryou's eyes now, and he hurriedly brushed them away. “Bakura…what's happened?” The question was whispered, one that the older had been tempted to ask as well.

 

“What do you mean?” Scowl changing to a slight frown, the spirit searched the eyes of his other for his answer, yet coming up empty handed. “Or do you even know?” A statement now, not meant to hurt, but watching as Ryou flinched, Bakura pulled the boy's head back to his shoulder.

 

“I don't know what's happened Ryou. And I don't think I ever will. But do we need to know?” Earning no response, the sprit reached down to wrap his free arm around Ryou's waist.

 

He couldn't find words for the moment. He knew he should spill everything -from the moment he had started falling, to the day when he broke his habits, to now- but no words came from his mouth. He closed his eyes, playing to every deity he'd ever heard of that he'd find it in himself to say something. Anything at all; nothing could be worse than the silence that was numbing the air around them in the small bedroom.

 

Below him, Ryou was coming out of his daze, though his eyes were still glazed over. Trying to focus himself, he whispered softly to the darkness, and to his darkness. “I once remember hearing Jounouchi saying that you can't have a rainbow without thunder and storm clouds. But if that's true, why haven't I seen a rainbow yet?” Lowering his voice back into the silence, he was surprised to hear an answer.

 

“Because it hasn't stopped raining.” Looking up, his startled eyes meeting those of Bakura's, the smaller boy pushed his body up against the others. “When will it?” he murmured, earning no vocal response. Instead, a fire had begun to burn within the eyes that were locked onto his; a fire blazing with want, craving, passion, fear, sadness, hope- every emotion that could possibly be contained in one gaze was there, churning and reaching higher and higher.

 

And yet, not anger was breaking into the sparks. The old fires had been replaced with new, these ones warm, inviting, and comforting. Feeling himself slip into their depths, Ryou pressed his head against Bakura's. “Why?” he asked, the first question of many slipping past his lips. Feeling a warm body slip back around his, he lowered his eyelashes, expecting another silent answer. But instead, a husky whisper sounded.

 

“Because you're you.” Soft lips came crashing down over his, and everything seemed to stop. Time didn't exist. Changes were forgotten, and all that mattered at that moment was how the warmth, the light, was chasing away the cold and darkness. Breaking apart, lungs begging for air, soft eyes stared back into those that mirrored them in ways, yet were so different. “Because I'm me?”

 

“Because you're you. Simply…because…you're you…”

 

 

AN: ::grins:: That saying from Ryou, the rainbow one, my momma tells me a lot. I thought it fit the moment pretty well. I didn't actually want them saying “I love you”, since they're far from that stage of a relationship together. But the chaste kiss made the romance happen

 

I'm sorry some parts seem off. I started writing this late one night, got halfway through, before going to bed. Next morning I started to write the rest, before finishing it three nights later. You can kind of pick up on the changes… ::blushes:: I hope this turned out good, I tried hard to make a good sequel!

 

I've been thinking of making a series out of this, not just with this coupling though. If you like the idea, please tell me! Thanks to everyone who reviews!

 

-Sparx